There are things you kind of assume people can't make it into adulthood without understanding.
But you'd be amazed how much those assumptions don't exactly match up with reality.
Redditor The_Sh0w asked:
"What's something you can't believe you had to explain to another adult?"
The privilege of in depth and accurate education isn't something we all have.
Here in the United States it is perfectly legal to teach inaccurate information in schools (we're looking at you anatomy and sexuality classes) and so it's sort of understandable why so many people still think women urinate from their vaginas.
Sorry if you're just now finding out.
We'll give you a minute to process.
Check out some of these other "you totally should have known this" things that people have had to patiently (or not-so-patiently) explain to other adults.
A Female Human and A Male Human
How men and women evolved together. He said evolution can't be real "because what are the chances a female human and male human evolved to match each other?" as though they evolved separately then just met up one day.
I also had to explain we're still evolving.
Scaring Chlamydia Away
That if you want to get rid of an infection (in this case, Chlamydia), it's not enough to just own the antibiotics prescribed to treat it. You have to actually ingest them. You have to put the pills (500mg Azithromycin, 2 tablets, one time dose,) into your mouth and swallow them. You can't, like, threaten the Chlamydia with the pills and frighten it away.
I'm an OB GYN nurse in a clinic- this person was a patient. Plus she was pregnant, which is why I needed her to not have Chlamydia. When I asked "How do you think this works?" I got a blank stare.
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Not Enough Electricity
Had a coworker once that told us she had to use special calculators, keyboards, etc. because she didn't have enough electricity in her hands. Her response when I told her that wasn't how electricity works was that she had seen an electrician about it.
I just left.
Was she talking about touch screens? She may have got the electrical facts wrong, while correctly noticing that screens don't react to her fingers: https://www.consumerreports.org/cro/news/2015/06/zombie-finger-and-touchscreens/index.htm
Give her a travel-sized bottle of skin moisturizer, and tell her it was recommended by a top electrician.
No, she was talking about an actual physical calculator. She was legitimately an idiot who said dumb things all the time. We only had her because her original department refused to take her back.
AC Power Settings
Thermostats- "You got it! The number is the temperature you want it to be, not power level"
- Dawnalla
Someone Is In There
Toilet doors. That's right, if it says occupied there is someone in there. If it won't open it's locked...because someone is in there. You have to wait outside because yes someone is in there. This was many times throughout the day.
I had the misfortune of having my office across the hall from the customer bathrooms. I would be informed when supplies ran out or there was a problem even though there was a sign to let customer service know. I had one man tell me I have to look in the toilet to know what is wrong with it. No. No I do not.
Contraception Concepts
Client - "I keep getting pregnant and it's not fair, I've already got 3 kids! You [social services, in general] need to help me."
Me - "Well, what contraception are you using?"
Client - "OMFG WTF (etc., etc.) I'm only sleeping with one fella, why the eff do I need contraception? I'm not a dirty slag!"
I had to gently explain that you have to use contraception if you don't want to get pregnant, even if you have just one sexual partner at the time.
- LTLxx
Family Fun With Furniture
Had to explain to my 50 year old father that queen sized beds were not made exclusively for women after he jokingly called me a sissy whilst we were talking about furniture.
My brother-in-law asked me why I wouldn't weld a metal lamp base onto his wooden shelf. After I explained it for him, he proceeded to cite a Minecraft modpack. He is 25 and this was 2 months ago.
- [Reddit]
Fried Or Fertilized
Fertilization of the egg is how pregnancy occurs.
Wife and I were having trouble conceiving for a while. Had some tests done, all was well, it was just a matter of time before it was going to happen (it did). When the mother-in-law asked why my wife isn't pregnant yet, we mentioned eggs and fertilization, and it's just a matter of time.
Her reply was 'If you need eggs just go to the grocery store and get some.'
She legitimately thought that the doctor recommended we both need to eat more eggs to conceive a child. This woman is in her late 50's with some college education. She absolutely should know this.
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Not A Charger
My friends and I were on vacation and decided to go into a sex shop. Mind you, we were all early to mid thirties. I was looking at range of toys when one of my friend asked which one of them charges Apple iPhone 8? 🤔 Had to explain what they were used for and she pretty soon walked out of the shop.
Five Plus Five Plus Ten Makes Twenty
That the pretty little "5" and "10" on the green bill she had meant 5 dollars and 10 dollars.
She said she had "3 dollars" after counting 2 fives and 1 ten dollar bill.
She was 22 .She had her diploma.
And I don't want to come off as though I'm making fun of her or talking bad about her because she's very sweet. She's kinda like a puppy. She's sweet and easy to love, but don't expect her to do your finances.
- MrR08070
Happy Halloween
To my ex boyfriend earlier this year (he is 26 and I am 25) I had to explain that Halloween is the same date every year. He asked me which day Halloween was this year, I said: "It's on a Thursday"
to which he replied "No what is the date date of it?"
I thought he was kidding until I realized he wasn't.
Cursive
Had to explain to an acquaintance in college that cursing, i.e. vocalizing words that societal groups regard as obscenities, was not the same as cursive, i.e. handwriting stuff where all the letters are getting freaky and loopy and all up in each others' business.
It took me about 5 minutes to fail to explain the difference to him, after which point I felt like cursive him out.
Animals
The definition of "animal".
To explain, this is how they thought things were arranged:
Humans - Humans
Animals - Anything with fur that is not human
Lizards - Uh?
Bugs and Birds - Catch-all for none of the above
They argued with me saying bugs are not animals, they are bugs. They also argued that plants are not living.
- pakidara
Even When You're Not In California
Ok when the bottle of brake cleaner says " known in California to cause cancer " you are not exempt because your not in California.
- Stone057
The Neighbors Fruit
I have to explain to my cousin that you can't take your neighbor's fruit that they planted in front of their house without their consent. I don't know if she is just being greedy or what but what a thing you have to say to 30 yo woman. No wonder she is still single until this day.
- Letsrain
Stars And Stripes
I was in a car with my Father In Law and we drove past an American flag and he said he wondered how many stars were actually on the flag and if they meant something or it was just the way it was designed. Yes, we're both Americans and this was in America.
- rlw0312
Swimming While Pregnant
My best friend was pregnant around 18. I couldn't convince her that it was okay to go swimming because she was concerned the baby would drown. In the end, I told her to just call the doctor so we could go swimming.
Fridge And Freezer
That a fridge and a freezer were two different things with two different purposes. Worked with a guy in a kitchen who honestly thought that both functioned in the same way, kept finding ice cream and such in the fridge and veg etc. in the freezer.
Driving To Hawaii
My mother wouldn't believe that you could not drive to Hawaii. She told me I didn't know, since I had never been to Hawaii. She's a stubborn old broad who won't take criticism and evidently has never seen a map.
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Pierced Ears
They informed us about STDs in school and they said that we shouldn't use used needles, so a girl asked: "Am I getting AIDS if I pierce both of my ears with the same needle?"
So listen, some of the answers were things that if we squinted really hard we could kind of understand ... kind of.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
Money Burn GIF by nog
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
south park wedding GIF
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
homer simpson episode 23 GIF
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
Customer Service Waiting GIF by Juno Calypso
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
Disney World GIF
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.