Nobody is perfect. We can't all be great at everything. Even though we so desperately believe we can do it all, that is not the case. That realization can become a haunting issue when it pertains to life's simpler activities. For instance... I can't do math. After years of struggle and self doubt I realized... who cares? I hate math; hand me a calculator. No shame. We are just wired to intake info in different ways. And sometimes certain wires are just not meant to cross. Often times the deceptively simple alludes us and it's a mystery.
Redditor u/HarveySteakfries was hoping everyone was wiling to compare notes and admit to all the small things that so many of us just can't seem to conquer by asking.... What are some basic things that you can't do?Chop-Chop
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Use a chopstick (I'm asian).
Try eating spaghetti, I'm Italian and I hate those pieces of crap, long live the mezze penne rigate.
Sorry. And you are?
Remember names and faces. Don't know what my deal is but unless my brain decides I should remember you for some reason, I will probably forget I've even met you. It's screwed up and embarrassing really.
Ugh, I feel you. It was a great night when I turned to my GF's friend and said "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" and she was like "It's Caitlin! I am literally your GF's best friend, we have met three times!"
1 + 1=.... UM?
Do basic math quickly. Like simple adding and subtracting math. I used to be a bartender, and one of the basic jobs of a bartender is surprisingly enough to check ids. Well whenever any handed me their id I couldn't do the math fast enough to actually be sure they were over 21. So I just said okay. Later they put up the sign with date that the birthday had to be after to be served. Made it slightly easier.
Goodnight....
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Get to sleep at a reasonable hour.
I always go to sleep after midnight, have done for years now. It just feels natural to me now, any time before that and its too early for me. I've been told to go to bed earlier by a few people. Its definitely easier said than done - as I just lie in bed looking at the ceiling if I'm forced to go to bed before midnight.
Hello....
Interact with someone that I don't know.
Like anything, it takes practice. I'll admit though, making conversation with strangers doesn't feel as natural as if it was to somebody you know.
Doped....
Produce dopamine at an acceptable level.
It's serotonin you want if you'd like to feel content and happy not dopamine. Too much dopamine will make you miserably.
Edit: this is an oversimplification and there are many pathway signals in the brain that we still don't completely understand on the whole. Far from it. So please do not think this one thing will solve a complex issue.
Bad Bite
Bite into apples or an ear of corn.
I have to cut up apples and whatnot bc one of my front teeth is partially fake. If there was somehow only apples and corn on the cob available and no knives? You gotta come at it from the side and hope you have floss.
bad cycle
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I'm 16 and I cant ride a bike.
A common mistake when beginning is trying to keep balance by moving the front wheel. Move your body slightly left or right instead. It is also much easier to keep balance at faster speeds.
Bodies are weird
Process dairy. Thanks for nothing, ancestors.
Yes, I have problems with this. However, when I was pregnant I craved ice cream so bad and ate it several times a day and my body was ok with it. Bodies are weird. Type of ice cream: just one kind, superman.
Don't Pucker.... Blow....
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Whistle, snap my fingers, blow bubbles with gum.
From someone else on reddit:
As someone said, whisper 'Q'. (Elongate the Q, expel all of your air over 4 or 5 seconds of whispering a single Q. You should be close to a whistle if not whistling at the end of the exhale). The idea is that you want to direct a stream of air downwards, across the opening of your lips. It's like blowing across the top of a coke bottle, only you're doing it from the inside.
To do this, you push your tongue up to the roof of your mouth for a cat/lizard/vampire hiss: hhkhkhkkhhhhkkkkkhh.
When you make that noise, you should find yourself blowing on your lower front teeth.
The tip of your tongue should be neutral to start - not all the way forward as for yyyyyyyy, and not all the way back as for aaaawwww. Just a loose, neutral uuuhhh.
Last and least important, the lips. Starting out, keep it relaxed - position them for ooo, like you're going to mutter 'cool' under your breath. Don't pucker, it'll be harder to find the tone.
So, put it all together, and you whisper khlhkhhkkkhkhkkheeeeeeoooooooo - and somewhere in there you should find a lick of tone. Keep practicing until you can home right in on it. It'll be kind of breathy, but we'll fix that in a minute.
You change the pitch by moving the tip of your tongue forward and back. You'll notice that high notes are a bit hard to reach.
Once you've got this down, and can find the tone every time - then you pucker your lips into a wwwww shape.
It's got much less tolerance for finding the tone, but the tone will clean up and lose the breathiness, and high notes will become a whole lot easier.
That's it, that's all you need.
Cereal Fails
I don't know if it's just me and God I hope it's not but for the life of me I cannot open a resealable package the correct way. You know the packaging that's like tear here along the lines to get to the resealable part? Without fail every time I tear it off and somehow there's just enough to not be able to get to the resealable part. My girlfriend watches me every time I open one with the same disappointed face. She has to watch the man she fell in love with paw at a bag of cereal like a seal wearing oven mitts.
"khhh"
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My native language is Russian, and the phonetics of the letter 'r' are very different to those in English - you have to roll the letter, kind of like in French or Spanish. However, I still can't do this, even after years of practice and failed assistance to try and learn how to pronounce the letter; I replace it with an awkward "khhh."
Drowning
Swim.
Saaame. Maybe it's only in the US where it's a shame to not know to swim. I was fine in my home country bc a lot of people don't learn how to swim.
Muscle Movement
Raise only one eyebrow. How do people do that?
Yeah, I used to know how to do 1 but not the other without compressing muscles of the other one. Then i got face paralysis and couldn't move half my face for about 2 months until i began going to physical therapy where i had to learn to move my face again.
Now i can move both of them independently and without any need of using muscles from other side to keep it down. So basically a lot of looking in the mirror and just thinking about moving it and using imagination to picture it all while helping it with a finger and you can learn it... if you decide its worth your while.
learning life
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Pay taxes, drive a motorcycle, networking, flirting, create ties with people, fix stuff, go to places without a GPS and cooking.
Twisted
I cant twist my tongue to the left, I encourage you to try this, idk why I cant, I can twist it to the right but no matter how hard I try I can't twist my tongue to the left.
It's genetic, same as the pattern in which you clasp your hands together with fingers interlaced. Whether it feels natural to have your left or right forefinger in the top position is genetic.
Lonely Still
Find a girlfriend.
Same, where do you even find them and how do people have the confidence to ask girls out, not something I could ever relate to lol.
52 Pickup
Shuffle cards. Embarrassing when I have to mix them all up in my hands. I'm 29.
Here is sexy card shuffle tutorial.
Side to Side
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I can't move my eyes to the left and right, only up and down! If I want to look to the side I have to move my whole head. If you see me reading it looks like I'm constantly shaking my head.
Licensed to Walk....
Drive a car (I'm in my early 30s).
I have a friend I went to high school with back in the 80's who was scared to learn to drive. Her mom thought it was because her dad was teaching her to drive and he was being a butt to her so she asked me if I could teach my friend to drive.
She had no interest in learning to drive and finally told me that she didn't want to learn and liked taking the bus and walking. She finally told her mom the same.
She is my age (50) and still has never driven. She lives in a city where she does not have to drive and is very happy there.
I drove as soon as I could but not everyone is in a hurry and some people just aren't interested. I worked with a guy at my last job who was 36 and didn't know how to drive. It's probably more common than you think.
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Try not to follow the bad advice given here, because you don't want to get the results that these guys did.
U/Duckerton375 asked: What's the worst advice someone ever gave you, but you still followed?
The workplace can bring a cornucopia of terrible advice. Don’t follow these unless you want to get fired.
Bad jobs are usually not worth it.
Stick with a job no matter how bad it is. I stayed with a terrible job working retail, dealing with horrible customers and sexual harassment. I was told I wouldn't find anything better.
"No, no, you misunderstand. I said you wouldn't find anything better at making you feel like complete garbage."
This gets really creepy really fast.
frustrated workplace GIFGiphy"After you put in a job application, you need to call them at least once a day every day until they hire you."
Note: this did not get me hired. It got me called out by the HR person I was calling and forbidden to ever contact their facility again.
I work for a law firm that employees over 1500 people in the home office alone. Once I received a call from the building security saying, "Insert Name is here to speak with the owner." Well we are run by a committee so that's odd. Found out they just applied for a job and wanted to talk directly to the person that would potentially hire them. Told him the firm will contact them to schedule an interview. They refused to leave without "talking to the owner." Had security escort them out of the building.
This is absolutely not true.
"Sleep is for people who do not want success" great words from my uncle, it almost killed me.
Now I may be oversleeping.
Interpersonal relationships are also a big breeding ground for terrible advice. Don’t listen to any of these.
Heartbreaking.
My father always tought me and my brother that "having friends is bad and in the end they will never be there for you" so everytime I told my father about my friends he would get kinda mad and give me the advice to stop talking to them.
Now I am afraid of people and have several trust issues, thanks dad.
This won’t end well.
A Christmas Story GIF by filmeditorGiphyIn the fifth grade my teacher was talking about bullying, then she said "if anyone tries to bully you just agree with them." So the next time I got bullied I agreed with the bully and they bullied me more.
Dude one time I saw an anti bullying video that told the victims to just BE NICE TO THE BULLY. Like the bully was hurling insults and the victim was smiling and complimenting him. My first thought was about how much I hated the mere thought that this would work. My second thought was of how the people who came up with that method had clearly never been bullied.
Oof.
When I met my now wife at the age of 19, one of my coworkers said that it's very important to start at the bottom with presents and work your way up, she still has the socks I gave her on our first anniversary on the wall over our bed as a reminder...
I'm still trying to teach my boyfriend about good presents and bad presents. Biscuits from the supermarket = bad present. Cheap unbranded laptop battery from China as my only present = bad present (and only lasted 2 months). Anything off my 7-page wishlist = good present. It's literally a list of things I want to receive as presents.
Can tell you from experience that this is a bad idea.
Had a falling out with some friends. My husband recommended I reach out to an old friend who ghosted me suddenly in a manner that induced some pretty severe abandonment trauma. Went for it anyways because "it's been so long, surely they changed". Am now experiencing the same things as last time.
When you follow bad advice, it can lead to mistakes that you just can’t come back from.
Buying a house is tricky.
for sale dancing GIF by Lisa VertudachesGiphy"Buy a home now before the prices go up!" -my FIL in 2006.
We bought in 2007 and paid $259,500 for our 1,300 sq ft house (we really couldn't afford it and had an 80/20 so we had 8% interest for one loan and 6% on the other) and in 2008 it was worth $97,000 so refinancing wasn't even an option. We watched all of our neighbors walk away or get foreclosed on but we kept paying our bills and as of this very moment our house is worth $462,000. I'm so happy we stuck it out, we both worked our @sses off and the house will be paid off in 2 years.
It worked out for us, it's a horrible idea. Especially since 1300 sq ft houses are $460+k
My heartbreaks for future generations, I honestly don't know how people are going to afford housing in the future.
It’s there for a reason.
"Never apply for any government assistance."
Cue years of suffering trying to work full-time with a painful disability. Quit a particularly terrible job, and wanted to apply for food aid until I could find another gig; a friend with lots of DHS experience recommended I apply for Social Security "just to get in the system." Turns out my disability was bad enough to get accepted the first time, which I wasn't expecting. Really could've used that support, oh, the 30+ previous years of my life.
Credit is important to have.
I was told to not get a credit card until after college. I was super fortunate to have my college paid for so I had no loans, car paid in cash, no credit card or anything to start building credit. Found myself out in the world at 22 years old with a credit score of 0.
So while a lot of this bad advice came from trusted people, oftentimes they were too misinformed to give that advice in the first place. Don't trust the word of one person--do your research, and make decisions for yourself.
It'll be way better in the long run