Nobody is perfect. We can't all be great at everything. Even though we so desperately believe we can do it all, that is not the case. That realization can become a haunting issue when it pertains to life's simpler activities. For instance... I can't do math. After years of struggle and self doubt I realized... who cares? I hate math; hand me a calculator. No shame. We are just wired to intake info in different ways. And sometimes certain wires are just not meant to cross. Often times the deceptively simple alludes us and it's a mystery.
Redditor u/HarveySteakfries was hoping everyone was wiling to compare notes and admit to all the small things that so many of us just can't seem to conquer by asking.... What are some basic things that you can't do?Chop-Chop
nicole byer chopsticks GIF by NailedIt
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Use a chopstick (I'm asian).
Try eating spaghetti, I'm Italian and I hate those pieces of crap, long live the mezze penne rigate.
Sorry. And you are?
Remember names and faces. Don't know what my deal is but unless my brain decides I should remember you for some reason, I will probably forget I've even met you. It's screwed up and embarrassing really.
Ugh, I feel you. It was a great night when I turned to my GF's friend and said "I'm sorry, what was your name again?" and she was like "It's Caitlin! I am literally your GF's best friend, we have met three times!"
1 + 1=.... UM?
Do basic math quickly. Like simple adding and subtracting math. I used to be a bartender, and one of the basic jobs of a bartender is surprisingly enough to check ids. Well whenever any handed me their id I couldn't do the math fast enough to actually be sure they were over 21. So I just said okay. Later they put up the sign with date that the birthday had to be after to be served. Made it slightly easier.
Goodnight....
Baby Reaction GIF
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Get to sleep at a reasonable hour.
I always go to sleep after midnight, have done for years now. It just feels natural to me now, any time before that and its too early for me. I've been told to go to bed earlier by a few people. Its definitely easier said than done - as I just lie in bed looking at the ceiling if I'm forced to go to bed before midnight.
Hello....
Interact with someone that I don't know.
Like anything, it takes practice. I'll admit though, making conversation with strangers doesn't feel as natural as if it was to somebody you know.
Doped....
Produce dopamine at an acceptable level.
It's serotonin you want if you'd like to feel content and happy not dopamine. Too much dopamine will make you miserably.
Edit: this is an oversimplification and there are many pathway signals in the brain that we still don't completely understand on the whole. Far from it. So please do not think this one thing will solve a complex issue.
Bad Bite
Bite into apples or an ear of corn.
I have to cut up apples and whatnot bc one of my front teeth is partially fake. If there was somehow only apples and corn on the cob available and no knives? You gotta come at it from the side and hope you have floss.
bad cycle
bike ride GIF
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I'm 16 and I cant ride a bike.
A common mistake when beginning is trying to keep balance by moving the front wheel. Move your body slightly left or right instead. It is also much easier to keep balance at faster speeds.
Bodies are weird
Process dairy. Thanks for nothing, ancestors.
Yes, I have problems with this. However, when I was pregnant I craved ice cream so bad and ate it several times a day and my body was ok with it. Bodies are weird. Type of ice cream: just one kind, superman.
Don't Pucker.... Blow....
whistle whistling GIF
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Whistle, snap my fingers, blow bubbles with gum.
From someone else on reddit:
As someone said, whisper 'Q'. (Elongate the Q, expel all of your air over 4 or 5 seconds of whispering a single Q. You should be close to a whistle if not whistling at the end of the exhale). The idea is that you want to direct a stream of air downwards, across the opening of your lips. It's like blowing across the top of a coke bottle, only you're doing it from the inside.
To do this, you push your tongue up to the roof of your mouth for a cat/lizard/vampire hiss: hhkhkhkkhhhhkkkkkhh.
When you make that noise, you should find yourself blowing on your lower front teeth.
The tip of your tongue should be neutral to start - not all the way forward as for yyyyyyyy, and not all the way back as for aaaawwww. Just a loose, neutral uuuhhh.
Last and least important, the lips. Starting out, keep it relaxed - position them for ooo, like you're going to mutter 'cool' under your breath. Don't pucker, it'll be harder to find the tone.
So, put it all together, and you whisper khlhkhhkkkhkhkkheeeeeeoooooooo - and somewhere in there you should find a lick of tone. Keep practicing until you can home right in on it. It'll be kind of breathy, but we'll fix that in a minute.
You change the pitch by moving the tip of your tongue forward and back. You'll notice that high notes are a bit hard to reach.
Once you've got this down, and can find the tone every time - then you pucker your lips into a wwwww shape.
It's got much less tolerance for finding the tone, but the tone will clean up and lose the breathiness, and high notes will become a whole lot easier.
That's it, that's all you need.
Cereal Fails
I don't know if it's just me and God I hope it's not but for the life of me I cannot open a resealable package the correct way. You know the packaging that's like tear here along the lines to get to the resealable part? Without fail every time I tear it off and somehow there's just enough to not be able to get to the resealable part. My girlfriend watches me every time I open one with the same disappointed face. She has to watch the man she fell in love with paw at a bag of cereal like a seal wearing oven mitts.
"khhh"
season 10 friends GIF
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My native language is Russian, and the phonetics of the letter 'r' are very different to those in English - you have to roll the letter, kind of like in French or Spanish. However, I still can't do this, even after years of practice and failed assistance to try and learn how to pronounce the letter; I replace it with an awkward "khhh."
Drowning
Swim.
Saaame. Maybe it's only in the US where it's a shame to not know to swim. I was fine in my home country bc a lot of people don't learn how to swim.
Muscle Movement
Raise only one eyebrow. How do people do that?
Yeah, I used to know how to do 1 but not the other without compressing muscles of the other one. Then i got face paralysis and couldn't move half my face for about 2 months until i began going to physical therapy where i had to learn to move my face again.
Now i can move both of them independently and without any need of using muscles from other side to keep it down. So basically a lot of looking in the mirror and just thinking about moving it and using imagination to picture it all while helping it with a finger and you can learn it... if you decide its worth your while.
learning life
johnny depp everything GIF
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Pay taxes, drive a motorcycle, networking, flirting, create ties with people, fix stuff, go to places without a GPS and cooking.
Twisted
I cant twist my tongue to the left, I encourage you to try this, idk why I cant, I can twist it to the right but no matter how hard I try I can't twist my tongue to the left.
It's genetic, same as the pattern in which you clasp your hands together with fingers interlaced. Whether it feels natural to have your left or right forefinger in the top position is genetic.
Lonely Still
Find a girlfriend.
Same, where do you even find them and how do people have the confidence to ask girls out, not something I could ever relate to lol.
52 Pickup
Shuffle cards. Embarrassing when I have to mix them all up in my hands. I'm 29.
Here is sexy card shuffle tutorial.
Side to Side
googly eyes GIF
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I can't move my eyes to the left and right, only up and down! If I want to look to the side I have to move my whole head. If you see me reading it looks like I'm constantly shaking my head.
Licensed to Walk....
Drive a car (I'm in my early 30s).
I have a friend I went to high school with back in the 80's who was scared to learn to drive. Her mom thought it was because her dad was teaching her to drive and he was being a butt to her so she asked me if I could teach my friend to drive.
She had no interest in learning to drive and finally told me that she didn't want to learn and liked taking the bus and walking. She finally told her mom the same.
She is my age (50) and still has never driven. She lives in a city where she does not have to drive and is very happy there.
I drove as soon as I could but not everyone is in a hurry and some people just aren't interested. I worked with a guy at my last job who was 36 and didn't know how to drive. It's probably more common than you think.
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- People Confess Which Seemingly Easy Task They've Never Quite Mastered - George Takei ›
- People Share The Things They Couldn't Believe They Had To Explain To Another Adult - George Takei ›
- People Describe The Most Basic Thing They've Ever Had To Explain To A Grown Adult - George Takei ›
- People Share The Activities Their Body Told Them They Absolutely Must Stop Doing - George Takei ›
Intruder
"I was 14, alone at my grandmas house around midnight."
"She was across the street at the bar she owned."
"I was playing games on her computer, about 15 feet from one of the windows facing the backyard."
"All of a sudden the glass from that window shatters, and I ran to one of the bedrooms."
"I can hear my name being called."
"Eventually I see my grandma's ex-boyfriend enter the living room where the computer is."
"He keeps saying my name."
"I’m scared sh*tless, but I walk out and confront him."
"He says my grandma stole his ID and that’s what he came for, as he’s taking money from my grandmas purse."
"He looks f*cked up on something."
"I forget how he leaves but when he does I call the bar and people come over looking for him."
"They didn’t find him."
"About a year later he did it again, and I was once again alone there."
"Except this time instead of breaking a window he decides to try to kick the side door in."
"I’m just there chilling when out of nowhere I hear the loudest bangs coming from the side of the house and I instantly knew what was happening."
"I immediately called the bar and they sent a bunch of people over before he could make it in."
"He apparently tried to jump from one of her sheds into the alley next to her house and broke his leg."
"He went to prison."- nfreshn
They're coming right for us!
"Two bison charging right toward me down a narrow wooded path in Yellowstone when I was 12."- pcc2
Open Range Running GIF by Reconnecting RootsGiphyUncomfortable in new surroundings.
"My sister has mental health issues."
"We were in a foreign country, driving across mountains on a one lane dirt road with no guardrails."
"She had a complete mental breakdown and threatened many times to drive off the edge."
"To this day, my mom swears my sister wouldn't have done it."
"All I say is, 'you weren't in the car'."
"'You have no idea'."- BlorengeJulius
Lost in the woods.
"Getting lost on 350 acres of woods in southeast Georgia."
"Was found about 6 hours later."
The dog found me hours before the people did.- No_Regrats_42
Scared Woods GIF by Brat TVGiphyA near death experience.
"Was working as a linemen tasked to replace a 16m wooden power pole which requires climbing up to untie the lines from the isolators."
"I checked if the pole had any rot beforehand, climbed up, untied the lines, climbed down, as I was packing my tools up , the pole fell from its own."- LimaRadek
He wasn't who he claimed to be.
"A man claiming to be a meter reader was in our yard and tried the back door AFTER trying the front."
"It was unlocked because there was a field behind us and our gate had a lock, that he somehow got by."
"The meter reader man was nearly eaten by our Great Dane who was dumb and peaceful, except for when she laid eyes on him."
"Our other dog also wanted to kill him and he was up on our trampoline begging us to call the dogs off, which we, my then 11 year old sister and I, refused to do and went to get our dad, who worked from home."
"The guy escaped while we got our dad and my dad let the police know what happened."
"The real meter reader man came the next week."- Applesintheorchard
Dog Bouncing GIF by AFV PetsGiphyHad no idea what they were witnessing.
"I guess watching a loved one have a seizure when I didn’t understand what it was."
"Legit thought I witnessed a death."
"Scary stuff."- Peppapigisgodly
Always look both ways.
"I got hit by a car while in a crosswalk a few months back."
"Had a split second where I saw him coming and realized what was about to happen."
"I thought I was going to die."- jolalolalulu
Big Sister to the Rescue.
"Saved my sisters life."
"We were boating and my parents just kinda assumed we’d be ok with them only out a couple hundred feet."
"I was about 17 and she was about 7."
"I’m laying there chilling and see her slip and fall into the water and just straight up sink."
"Ran over, dove in and pulled her to shore."
"She spit up a bunch of water and was fine but that experience rocked me to my core."
"Not a super crazy story but almost seeing a sibling die has always stuck with me."
"I’ve broken almost every bone in my body, I died one time and was in a coma for a little bit but for some reason this one stuck with me."- Present-Trip5231
Often, an experience that left us scared does make for a good story down the line.
Though whether it was a good enough story to make having gone through the experience worth it, is debatable.
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Waiting tables was always the bane of my existence. Customers are rude. Staff is rude. It never ends.
Filthy Hours
Fail Just For Laughs GIFGiphy"Trash men. They’re looked down on as dirty and uneducated, but they do a hard job that is absolutely critical to our public health."
kirkl3s
You're Out!
"Youth sports officials. I umpire baseball as a hobby and the way parents act is deplorable."
kennsing75
"The parents on the other hand deserve loads of hate sometimes. I was a coach for soccer and volleyball while I was in the Air Force. You would have loved to be a sports official for our leagues at our base. If a parent got sh**ty they are immediately ejected, no questions, and reported to whoever is their higher authority. It almost never happened."
DaniTheLovebug
Behind the Counter
"Any customer (client/patient) facing job. They get the abuse that stems from managements decisions, mistakes and incompetence."
HighlyOffensive10
"I did customer service for automotive companies at a call center for years. People get so unhinged, between dealerships, management, people calling into the wrong department, angry customers who were itching for a fight over a rental car. The job paid for five free therapy sessions a year, but honestly, it would take every ounce of restraint not to break some days."
"You aren't allowed to defend yourself or hang up, you can't transfer them to supervisors for a call, you technically work for a third party company that exists to keep the customer from ever actually speaking to the corporation. It was the worst job I've ever had, and that's coming from someone who used to work at a seafood processing plant."
Bromelia_and_Bismuth
I'm Hungry
"Food service. The workers have to eat too, you know."
stinky_cheese33
"Working fast food sucked. Not because the job was hard. But because people were *icks. For like, no reason. Working in an actual kitchen also sucked. Not because the work was hard, but because you never did it quick enough and your boss was a *ick for like no reason. But at least you didn't deal with customers."
thedankbank1021
Too much stress...
Jim Carrey Omg GIFGiphy"Defense attorneys. People hate them because they defend violent criminals. However, as one lawyer put it, their job is not just to defend these people; their job is also to make sure that the cops did their job correctly."
TomoyoHoshijiro
I've always wondered about defense attorneys. How do they reconcile their morals?
They're Smart Too
will birth control GIFGiphy"I live in Germany and currently in my (hopefully) last semester of university to become a pharmacist (4 years of university, one practical year and three exams of state required). A lot of people here think pharmacists are only cashiers and don’t know we get a scientific education. And God help me if I question a doctor's decision."
this_is_lune
Hard Hours
"I usually just lurk as a guest, but I made a Reddit account just for this. Cooks for public schools. They are constantly overworked, underpaid, and disrespected. Most schools have only a few ovens and microwaves, so school chefs have to either jam unsafe amounts of frozen food into ovens and microwaves, which is a giant fire hazard, or work non-stop from early morning."
Clingitty
Green Thumbed
"Plant breeders and plant geneticists. Imagine you're a plant nerd and you spend your life studying genetics so you can figure out how to improve food crops. Like, to make them yield more, taste better, be healthier, survive drought, etc. But on the internet, you're apparently trying to poison the world and control the food supply."
kjhvm
Heartless
"Veterinarians. My doctors CONSTANTLY get yelled at or called heartless when, for instance, we refer them to a hospital more suited to care for the animal than us. Like bro we didn't just tell you know we are giving you options and trying to ensure you seek the proper care. Don't call me a heartless b**tard for that crap."
Zfullz
No Fun Involved
Angry Neil Flynn GIFGiphy"Janitors. Trash-related work. Sewage workers. Plumbing."'
SubiWhale
I feel for everyone in these jobs. They deserve better.
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In other states, you and your ladies can live a more peaceful life. Here in Florida, it's A Song of Sweat And Fire Ants.
Ever get tiny little jellyfish stuck under your side-boob? Happens here all the time.
Bikinis should come with a "Sand Lice, Your Titty Crease, And You" informational pamphlet.
Wanna jog? Hope you accounted for the fact that the air is soup and will chafe and cauterize your nipples.
Know what limits your field of vision, making you more likely to accidentally step on a snake and/or gator? Boobs.
Know what slows you down as you try to escape the angry reptile from the above paragraph? Also boobs.
Reddit user Saibotnl1 asked:
"What's the most negative thing about having boobs?"
Now take all this stuff they said sucked, and then put it inside of a steam oven filled with mosquitos. That's Florida.
And Florida is incompatibile with breasts.
Cardio Is Hardio
GIF by VIASWEATGiphy"I love them but running can be a nuisance even in a good sports bra."
- [Reddit]
"When I go to work, there is a woman that usually runs on the shoulder of the road. I gasp at how much her boobs bounce. Isn't that doing damage to tissue? Painful?"
- notanotherbreach
"Yes! I literally always hold mine when going up/down stairs so they dont bounce. Running is uncomfortable even with a good bra :/ "
- k_g94
"If it's a sports bra that holds you, it's so tight that it's impossible to get into or out of without a whole team of people like a pit crew."
"If you can comfortably get into it, it won't hold the girls for long."
"Cardio is just not worth all this."
-[Reddit]
"As a kid I wasn't fit enough for jump rope, but now that I'm older and have the big boobies it feels even more impossible to ever indulge in."
- PoiLethe
Literally In The Way
"They get in the way!!"
"Lately I've been getting frustrated with exercise. My personal trainer will say to hold something a certain way and I'll try but it's so uncomfortable because my boobs are completely in the way."
"She has small boobs so she doesn't account for them being in that space right in front of your chest."
- J09Lynn
"My English teacher in 10th grade was drinking water one day when a few drops landed on his shirt. He then complained about getting older and how he never stuck out far enough to get his shirt wet."
"I just sighed."
"4th grade. 4th grade is when I stuck out too much to avoid drips."
- wheredMyArmourGo
"So very much this."
"I refuse to do mountain climbers when my trainer suggests it, she started to get mad saying it's a great exercise. My retort was that I'd really rather not knee myself in the breasts as part of my workout."
"The lady has small boobs and replied that she had never thought of that!"
- Pauliester
Growing Pains
"Probably growing them."
"It hurts, and if you get big boobs young and quickly, it’s both physical and social agony."
"It hurts to grow them, first of all, your chest aches and bumping them against anything really hurts - and since they’re a sudden, large addition to your body, you’re ALWAYS bumping them on stuff."
"But the social aspect is worse."
"Your female family members comment on them slyly and smirk at your response."
"Your male friends look at you weird and you have to realize they see you as more sexual than girls with smaller chests, even though you literally cannot control this."
"Other girls can be nasty and jealous."
"Eventually I learned to manage all this and I like having breasts now; but from like 11-16 I was so frustrated and upset that I had developed them at all."
- Individual_Ad_7523
Two Volcanos
rachael ray boob sweat GIF by First We Feast: Hot OnesGiphy"The sweat and itch!"
"Also that they're like two volcanos, which isn't especially practical during summers or when you're a constantly hot temperatured person anyway."
- Queen-of-meme
"No matter what I try, the skin under my boobs never cools down!"
- Local_Masterpiece_
"Boob sweat is the bane of my existence when it's even a little bit hot outside - and sometimes even when it's not lol..."
- PleasuredMeatStick
"I hate the feeling of sweat on my boobs. I just put tissue between and underneath my boobs to hopefully absorb the sweat so it won’t start to itch and drip."
- LuckyBugHarley
Technological Advancements
"I STILL am not able to remove them after a long day. Why?!"
"Why can't I just set em aside for the night, all done. Why hasn't technology advanced to this possibility yet??"
- IAmNotLookingatYou
"Absolutely they would. The relief we would get ... oh my god it sounds divine."
"Maybe I wouldn’t be so b*tchy."
- Object_Prize
"I’d honestly probably only wear them for ren faire, and leave them at home the rest of the year."
- AbbyNormalKnits
Double Trouble
"The double standard of girls with small chests and big chests."
"If you have a big chest no matter what you wear or do it's sexual. But for girls with smaller chests they can get away with crop tops or v necks or even swim suits."
- BigBunsLittleBunbun
"Lol the bigger girls who spent their entire grade school years getting sent to the principal's office for breaking dress code will agree with you."
"Loose shirts will tent and billow up in the wind as you walk-- dress coded."
"Tight shirts that don't tent but cling to your chest-- dress coded."
"And don't even think about anything but a crew neckline, or you'll be dress coded again."
- cryptic-coyote
"Exactly!"
"I always got in trouble for wearing dresses in school, but skinny Minnie wearing something even worse gets by no problem just because she doesn't fill it out the way I do."
- APD2269
Expensive
Happy Music Video GIF by DJ MustardGiphy"They're expensive."
"Bras are expensive and you need regular bras, sports bras, probably something special like a strapless or low back if you have a special occasion or something."
"And don't even get me started on women's healthcare ..."
- SailorSpoon11
"Stage 4 breast cancer patient here, and it costs me about an extra $5000/yr to stay alive if everything goes well."
- insertcaffeine
"I just stopped breastfeeding and none of my bras fit anymore."
"I’ve just been wearing sports bras every day because I don’t even know what cup size I am anymore and I don’t want to spend a fortune replacing all of my bras."
- kaytay3000
"Plus if you choose not to wear bras for any number of reasons, you’re treated as deviant or an acceptable target of inappropriate attentions."
- letsjumpintheocean
Getting Comfortable
"Laying on your stomach can be tricky."
- ChadweenaThundervag
"Laying on your back can be tricky as well."
"And on your side."
"Just laying in general with big boobs is a hassle."
- Skkaj225
"Am guy."
"However women in my life have found it difficult to get a decent back massage because of this. I've seen plenty of massage tables with head holes, but none with boob support..."
- DeluxeWafer
"Semi-suffocating yourself on the beach while trying to get some sun on your back is fun."
- Miikami
Either Or
"The fact that I look like a walking refrigerator if I wear a loose fitting top, as it billows shapelessly around my body in an odd fabric rectangle."
"But if I wear something form fitting, I look like a lady of the night and am treated as such."
- batchofbetterbutter
"OMG this !!"
"I feel like all my girlfriends around me have such a fashion sense and can wear things with such grace but I always look as you’ve described. Like either I look like a couch pillow or Jessica Rabbit."
"Sometimes I just want to cut them off honestly."
- octokisu
"Yeah I’ve been wanting a reduction since a was a teen because of the back pain and catcalling, and many people I know with a bigger chest feel the same way."
- didithedragon
"I had no idea women hated their boobs so much! It honestly is shining a light on an idea I have never thought of."
- Peter_the_pear
Attempted Murder
Black Woman Breast Cancer Awareness GIF by Know Your GirlsGiphy"They might try to kill me."
"Breast cancer runs in my family and I have to have my first mammogram this year at 36."
"My mom was negative for both BRCA genes but there are 6 others they’ve discovered since she had cancer that we haven’t been tested for."
"Insurance won’t cover me to test unless she tests positive for one."
- Outrageous-Proof4630
"Fun fun fun."
"My mom died from breast cancer at 46. I started getting mammograms at 34."
"Luckily, I took the BRCA test and was negative."
- lil_ho_on_da_prairie
It's Constant
"Constantly being sexualized."
"I’m the least sexual person but people assume I’m super sexual because of my body. And I hate it"
- Plus_Bison_7091
"Yup, I'm ace and I honestly just want them chopped off to be rid of the constant sexualization of my body."
"It makes me really uncomfortable."
- zapsquad
"My friend in elementary school had a condition where she went into puberty super early and had large breasts by 3rd grade."
"We would walk together to elementary school every morning and get cat called a lot, but we were too afraid to tell our parents because we thought they wouldn't let us walk together anymore."
"She would have teachers make comments about them."
"When we were older she talked about how insanely awful and alienating it made her feel growing up. Her younger sister had the same condition, but went on puberty blockers for it."
- gentlybeepingheart
Destroyed
"These pendulous bags of hell have destroyed my back."
"Even a decade after a reduction surgery, I remain in daily pain. And now as an added bonus they get to be misshapen, scarred horribly, and completely useless for raising a baby."
- Originalluff
"I didn’t realize how heavy they are until I got together with girl with big boobs and woooooow they are heavy!"
- I_love_pillows
"I got C cups in fifth grade and those f*ckers went all the way to G by senior year."
"My posture was/is awful and I've felt like an old woman since I was a teenager. I don't even want babies, so they're never actually gonna be useful either."
- Rozeline
See what I mean?
They're kind of awful once they hit a certain size, and that size is pretty much ANY size if you're in Florida.
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