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Some things are literally impossible to explain. Sometimes there's no comparable word or a cultural barrier is in play. Sometimes there's no comparable body part.


Sometimes there's no comparable societal expectation or idea.

Yeah, if you haven't guessed by now, we're talking about the kinds of things that border on impossible for women to explain to men and have them gain a full understanding of it.

Things started with a simple question on Reddit:

Women of Reddit, what's the hardest thing to explain to men?

And yeah, you're going to get some talk about periods - that's the obvious. But you might be shocked and maybe even a little enlightened to read where things go from there.

Starting With The Obvious

Giphy

The feeling of your uterus shedding it's skin inside of you.

- LoisLaneEl

Best description I can give is to imagine something living inside of you, just between your genetalia and belly button, that is carving into you with a knife. Then also, you get bloated, you get acne, you get super emotional, and you still have to go to work.

- envy_313

Can we talk about tryna poop during all this???

- HorsesAndAshes

Don't Change

When we say something feels good that means don't freaking change it. Don't go faster, don't try to add more, just keep it at the same.

- WateringTheJellyfish

As a dude, even if we understand it, we suddenly become hyperaware of everything we're doing so something gets messed up because we overthink it.

- SmartAlec105

Unsolicited

Unsolicited peen pics aren't a turn on.

- littlelostsober

Thank you!

I don't think most women admire them as much as men admire breasts. It's just not an attractive part of a male (not for me, anyway). They're very useful, but I'd rather see his face, his muscles, his legs, his butt...

- ImABoomerAndImOK

But solicited ones are great, my husband has sent me one when he's been upstairs at home and I'm downstairs. Let's me know what's up (pun intended).

- basicbakerbikerbtch

I used to think the whole unsolicited pic thing was hugely exaggerated because I couldn't imagine anyone I knew sending one and had never heard of anyone I know sending one.

Then one day I was talking to my younger sister about it, and we'd had a few drinks so she decided to name and shame some people who had sent her some. Some of whom I knew from back in school and was extremely surprised about.

Then it hit my that guys don't tell other guys that they send girls unsolicited dick pic cause it's embarrassing. But they're everywhere.

- franklystein

Messed Up Emotional Upbringings

  1. A lot of us have been raised to do most of the emotional labor around the house, which includes being privy to escalating situations by noticing even the most seemingly insignificant changes in people. This is part of why what men regard as "hints" that they never catch are very obvious signs to women. Also why a lot of us think our bfs are mad at us when they suddenly go quiet :/ at least that's how it was in my household...quiet usually meant someone was about to pop off.
  2. "Why do women say they're fine when they're not?" Because a lot of us have been raised to keep our needs to ourselves and to not be "needy" or "a nag".

Neither of the above are excuses for the situations that arise...just possible explanations...I really enjoy reading the threads like this that ask men for their input. Both of us are victims of messed up emotional upbringings.

- profaneflying

Not How It Works

Having sex with numerous people doesn't loosen a damn vagina! And somehow a lot of men don't understand this

- envy_313

"So how many women have you been with?"

"Tons."

"Wow. Guess your manhood must be pretty bendy and limp by now, huh?"

- PoliticsModsAreLiars

Constant Fear

The feeling of being always scared.

Scared at night

Scared in a 1-1 meeting with a male college who is angry

Scared of standing up against sexual harassment

Scared of being called a liar if you call somebody out on there sh!t or being told "it was just a joke"

Scared with tradies in your house when you're alone

Scared of the guy on the bus talking to you while staring at anything but your face

Scared on being in a taxi or Uber alone

Just the general feeling that it's never safe. I live in a safe suburb in a relatively safe city in a relatively safe country. Yet we are always on high alert.

Advice from early childhood into adulthood: Walk with a friend. Tell somebody where you are going. Carry your keys in between your fingers. Etc.

- littlehungrygiraffe

And that constant fear is so normalized, most of us don't recognize it as fear. Because we're taught that mature, responsible, smart women always fear for their safety. So there's almost a weird sense of security in that constant fear.

Oh, and also reminding other women to be afraid means you care, not that you're an alarmist psycho.

- _Green_Kyanite_

Just People

That we're just people, like you. We're not mysterious, soft creatures. We're not an endless fountain of emotional nurturing, in fact, many of us are just as bad at expressing our emotions or comforting people as you are.

We have hopes, dreams, interests, strengths and weaknesses. We don't all cry. We don't necessarily give a sh!t about clothes, or makeup, or decorating, or child-rearing. We aren't a monolith and we aren't all alike, we vary as individuals just like you.

We too sit around doing or thinking about dumb stuff. Yes, as a kid I also built weapons out of sticks, or tried to mix household chemicals together to make them explode, or all manner of things we only attribute to boys.

If you ask me what I'm thinking, there's a good chance it's some inane random bullshit about who would beat who in a fight, or what superpower I would hate to have.

We're just like you, in many ways.

- rachelgreychel

Manage Your Life

We have absolutely zero desire to clean up after you or babysit your life like you're a toddler. You're grown. Clean up your crap. Manage your life. Pull your weight. Quit bitching about how much work it all is, and how it keeps you from doing the things you'd rather spend your time on—we know because we're fucking doing your share of it, and it's wasting OUR time that we would rather spend on other things.

- bundt-cake-rules

This, plus, don't say "I'll help, just tell me what needs to be done."

You're grown. We shouldn't have to tell you to pull your weight around the house or manage your chores as if you're a child.

- rachelgreychel

Betrayed

What it's like for your body to betray you constantly. It's hard to explain how my body doesn't feel like mine anymore but it bleeds and hurts and makes me emotional against my will. When I first learned this would be my reality for my entire adult life I felt a deep devastation and betrayal, which is a feeling I don't think most men have felt.

- Vamand

Pretty Hurts

Giphy

Being seen as attractive does not necessarily raise your sense of self-worth. It's an odd contradiction, as we're implicitly told to look attractive from a young age. So you'd think achieving that goal would make you very happy. And in ads beautiful people all live happy lives.

But to be looked at like a f*ckable object doesn't make me feel good about myself. I even tried posting on r/gonewild to see if it was just the public aspect of people staring, and felt just a slight feeling of shame from the well-intentioned comments. The way you look on the outside changes nothing about how you feel about yourself.

- Publius-Esquire


In fact, being regularly perceived as on the attractive side earns a lot of cold shoulders, dismissive attitudes, instant disapproval and snap-judgments by men and women alike. Over the years I've surmised it to be some form of "It's my turn to show this girl that looks don't get you everything."

Except it's multiple people, everywhere I go, my whole life. I'm afraid of women and have no girl friends. Men constantly ask me if I'm good at math. I can't look people in the eyes anymore.

- hearts_and_crafts

The Name Game

Why I don't want to take someone else's name. My names MINE I like it and I want to keep it

- mintybuttholes

This was something my ex husband could not wrap his head around, he took it as a personal insult when I double barrelled my name instead of just taking his, and when I suggested he also double barrell his name he openly laughed in my face.

- TapPrancer

That's The Point

You saying that you feel uncomfortable when we try and tell you about harassment that we've experienced is kinda of the point. We're uncomfortable too, and scared.

I've tried to tell a few of my guy friends about stuff that's happened to me and they've all asked me to end the conversation because it made them feel sick. They're good friends, they just can't handle it, and neither can the majority of others I've mentioned it to.

- Lexa578

Meat Curtains

Some women are self conscious about the appearance of their genitals. Hearing men joke about "meat curtains" and making fun of it is crushing. I once had a guy in my friend group after saying how he could never sleep with a girl with large labia minora because they're ugly try to get me in bed. That was a hard turn down and he didn't know why. My vulva isn't pretty and tucked in like many women's are, and only after I hit the age of 25 did I realize that most people don't care. Maybe it is the people I chose to be in my life but I have never sat around with girls talking about small dicks or foreskin and how they're gross. Never once heard a small dick joke beyond a male making it. Why ruin your chances with 50% of women by telling them (inadvertently) that their genitals are gross? It hurts us too.

- Purinchwan

Good, But Not THAT Good

My two male roommates genuinely believe that penetration from the penis is one of the most godly, nut-worthy feelings on earth and they're always mad they won't be able to feel it but boy... are they wrong.

- maya-alina

Calm Down

Giphy

I'm not mad and stop telling me to calm the fuck down. Just because I express my self in a very straight forward, no nonsense way, does not mean I'm angry or mad. It just means that I'm not afraid to voice my opinions and thoughts and I couldn't care less if you judge me for what I have to say.

The amount of times I've been told to "calm down" or "why you acting so crazy" or "you don't need to be rude" is endless and honestly I'd be a fcking millionaire if I got paid a dollar every time a man said those things to me.

When I'm mad, I'll let you know and if you cannot handle me being blunt and honest to you, please don't get pissed off and start calling me names, or else I'll be forced to ask "maybe you need to calm down?"

- lizziepowwow

Emotional Labor

The concept of emotional labor.

It's so hard to explain that I spend 3+ hours a day thinking about all the other moving parts in our lives, while my boyfriend is "stressed about work." Especially when I'm also the breadwinner in the relationship and the one in a much more senior position despite being a couple years younger.

And yet, he can't understand, that sometimes I just want him to do the laundry without me having to ask. He thinks I "should just ask" the asking is part of the labor.

- highatopthething27

Choo Choo

That I have all sorts of different trains of thought choo-chooing through my mind at all times. My brain is a web browser with too many tabs open and I can't just close them. I must continually cycle through them until they are settled. Telling me to stop worrying about things will not magically stop the cycle.

- TellTailHeart

Want, Not Need

Just because I don't act like I need you, doesn't mean I don't want you. I'm independent and my man communicated when we first got together that he felt a bit insecure because I didn't "need" him around.

We talked extensively, and I basically explained that because I had been single for so long, no, technically I didn't need him. At least not in the physical sense. I'd been doing everything myself for YEARS and I was just used to it. But I did need him emotionally, and more importantly, I WANTED him. And IMO, being wanted is so much better. What happens when someone who needs you, suddenly stops needing you? Then you have no further value to them. I crave him on every level, from friendship, to emotional, to physical. My body just naturally gravitates toward him.

Granted my man had some self-esteem issues from previous relationships, and we've been working together on that, but I've made more of an effort to ask for his help when something I need to do is difficult. I COULD do it, but I know he would appreciate me asking him for help.

- leese216

Image by Foundry Co from Pixabay

Now that college has become a standard requirement for so many jobs and careers, there is a massive push by high schools to get their graduating students accepted and enrolled at an undergraduate college.

On the whole, that's undoubtedly a great thing. A more educated workforce will be prepared to solve the most complex issues facing human beings in the next several decades.

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Image by Gianni Crestani from Pixabay

*The following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm.

The person on the other end of a 911 call has a truly remarkable job.

For those who don't play that professional role, we hope to never encounter the 911 call interaction. But if we do find ourselves making that call, the moment is an anomaly in our lives.

The chaos, the panic, the racing heart, and the desperation are all emotions we, ideally, don't experience on a regular basis.

But for the operator on the other end, our call is one in a long line of calls they've received all day, and all the workdays before that one.

It's difficult to imagine being embedded in those uniquely urgent, emergency moments all the time.

Some Redditors who are on the other end of that call shared their experiences on the job.

WhimsicalxxButcher asked, "911 dispatchers what has been your most creepy/unnerving call?"

For a few, the most unnerving moments were the calm callers.

There was something just so eerie about how level-headed the faceless human being on the other end could be through such a desperate, tragic moment.

Almost Clinical 

"I had a friend who worked as a 911 dispatcher and he always said the worst call he ever had was a ~20 year old kid who committed suicide by mixing a bunch of chemicals together in his car to produce hydrogen sulfide gas."

"He said that the most unnerving part was hearing him calmly listing off the chemicals, the type of gas produced, and the effects of hydrogen sulfide on the body (namely the almost instant death it causes at high concentrations)."

"He ended the call by providing the address of the parking lot he was in and saying that nobody should approach the vehicle without hazmat equipment."

"Apparently after that there was a whooshing sound as he dumped the last chemical into the mix, and then the line went dead silent aside for a quiet fizzing noise."

"I know that call screwed him up because he almost never talks about stuff that happens to him on the job. He quit a few months later to go into construction management, and frankly I can't blame him."

-- iunoyou

Planned Out 

"A woman called me, saying she was going to kill herself. She was gassing herself. Gave me her name & address then said she was just going to lie down and 'go to sleep.' And stopped responding to me."

"I kept the line open, trying to get her to speak to me, and eventually heard officers forcing their way in to find her body. I guess she just wanted someone to find her body."

-- mozgw4

Before It Set In 

"When I got a call from a 6 year old who got home from school and laid down to take a nap with his dad. His dad never woke up."

"The kid was so calm when calling it broke my heart."

"I ended up leaving dispatch shortly after. I was good at compartmentalizing the job for the year I was doing it, but it would've broken me in the long run."

-- tasha7712

Other 911 operators were unfortunate enough to receive a call from the very last person they wanted to hear from: a loved one.

These dispatchers' unique position gave them the unexpected access to a family member or friend at their most dire moments.

No More of That 

"My family member is a long time first responder, and 'retired' into doing dispatch. He heard the address (someone else was taking the call) and realized it was his daughter's house."

"He rushed over there just in time to see them wheeling her body out. Overdose."

"Five months later, he was called to his ex-wife's place because his grandson (son of the daughter who recently passed) had his door locked, lights on, but wasn't responding to his grandma."

"He broke the door down and found him deceased in bed. Overdose."

"He's very stoic after years of all sorts of traumatic situations but my heart hurts whenever I think of what all of this must have felt like. Like sand through your fingers."

-- bitchyhouseplant

Knowing the Address

"Not me, but my grandma. I was sitting in the dispatch office, (very small one only 2 dispatchers including my grandma) but she put out a dispatch that there was a gun shot from my best friends address."

"My heart sank to my stomach and broke later that day. He committed suicide."

-- OntaiSenpuu

When it Happened 

"My uncle passing away. Worked as a small town dispatcher for a year or so. Had a bunch of messed up stuff happen on shift, but this call came in in the still hours of the night. Small town, so not many calls after midnight."

"I answered and recognized the name and address on caller id. Aunt was in a frenzy so didn't recognize my voice. I remained calm and got ems and fire rolling to them, but by my aunt's own words he was already blue."

"I went thru debriefing and mandated therapy for a couple other things that happened, but never really talked to anyone about this. I just try not to think about it."

"That was the call I figured out I needed to find a different job."

-- dangitjon

Finally, some simply had a front row seat to sudden tragedy.

These operators were flies on the wall when disaster struck. They never asked to witness what they witnessed, but sometimes that came with the territory.

A Holiday Tragedy 

"My mom is a 911 dispatcher. Early on she said one Christmas Eve while working she got a call from an elderly lady who's husband had just collapsed(and died) from a heart attack and in the background Alvin and the Chipmunks Christmas music was playing on blast."

"The lady was screaming and crying and begging for her husband to wake up but my mom could hear his gurgling in his last breathes. She doesn't listen to or watch Alvin and the chipmunks since."

-- Blueflowerbluehair

What is it About Christmas?

"Christmas night. 911 call with crying child on the other end. A neighbor had run her car over her mom during a domestic."

"The mom crawled to the porch bleeding and the child saw the car coming back. I had her hide quietly in a closet with the cordless phone."

"The 10 year old child was crying and screamed that she hated Christmas. She was afraid of the police when they got there."

"I kept her on the phone until she felt safe enough to give the phone to an officer. I almost fainted after that call was over. Had nightmares for a while."

-- 2FunBoofer

Close to Home 

"Not a dispatcher but I handle radio communications for the Coast Guard. One night I was on the radio and got a call from an 11 year old kid whose boat had started to sink. He was out with his dad and 6 year old brother."

"They had been hit by another boat and his father got knocked unconscious. I remember the entire conversation up until the radio had gone underwater."

"They ended up finding his dad floating on his back alive but the two boys didn't make it. That one really fu**ed with me because my two littlest brothers were around the same age as the youngest."

-- HIRSH2243

A Horrible Clock 

"Another one that stays with me was the man who called in. It was the anniversary of his adult son having hanged himself. He'd now come home to find his wife had done the same."

"That date is always going to be a black day for him."

-- mozgw4


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

Again, we hope you never have to use the 911 call in your life. Nobody wants to be involved in a sudden emergency or a tragic incident.

But hopefully, if you do, an operator like one of these thoughtful, sensitive Redditors is on the other end.

Image by Nguyen Dinh Lich from Pixabay

When I was moving on from middle school to high school my parents had me tested for the "gifted" program. By some miracle I passed and was accepted. And then I turned it down. Everyone was irritated. "This will pave the way for any college you want! You'll learn so much!" his path will set you up for life!" Every adult tried valiantly to sell me this merchandise but in my gut I just wasn't buying it. So I "settled" a level below, merely advanced classes. And upon reflection... it was the best choice I ever made.

Redditor u/dauntlessdaisy was wondering how far some in life got by asking... For those of you who were considered "gifted" in school, what are you doing with your life now?
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Image by Markus Spiske from Pixabay

There's a million things that can happen to you while out on on the road.

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