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Realistic Movie Buffs Imagine How Popular Movies Would've Ended If Characters Acted Rationally

Moviegoers share a dark secret when they go to watch films. From a dark, hidden corner of their hearts, they want the main characters and heroes of cinema to make terrible, not-well-thought-out decisions. By choosing to go into the dark basement alone or not call for backup even though everyone on the planet has a phone on them, will make the story more engaging. Sometimes, though, it seems like the call was made to have a character make the wrong choice because if a character made the right choice, the movie would have ended. That's what Reddit user, r/danbrownskin, wanted to find out when they asked:

What movie would have ended too soon if a character acted rationally?

People = Dinosaur Chow

Jurassic World - I don't know where the dinosaur is so I'm going to casually look around his pen in person. And don't bother with a service entrances or anything, the large gate that can let the dinosaur out will work fine.

ZhouDa

You CHOSE To Go To High School?

Twilight.

16 year old girl finds out her biology partner is a 150 year old vampire who has been stalking her. Runs fast and far.

Alternately, 17 year old dude becomes immortal. Chooses to do literally anything besides repeat high school forever.

thegr8procrastin8or

The True Threat Of The 'Alien' Franchise Is Dumb Humans

Alien Covenant.

Don't defy the "don't land in this storm" advice of the AI that's designed to be a billion times better than you in this one specific task of navigating; don't take off your helmet on a strange planet; don't trust an android that's surrounded by a city of corpses.

VehaMeursault

The Fault in Disney

"You can't marry a guy you just met"

"Actually, yeah Elsa, you do bring up a good point. Hans, I'm not ready for this commitment yet, I'm sorry."

mahbluebird

Nothing Wrong With This Except Everything

50 Shades of Grey

'I'm bad for you Ana' 'Ok cool, have a good life'

'I'm into BDSM' 'I'm a virgin, see ya later'

I could go on...

Alpacher

There's Always Time To Stop And Eat

If the original driver in Talladega Nights didn't decide to get a chicken sandwich halfway through the race we would have never gotten to see Ricky Bobby go fast

_Kevins_FloorChilli

Rule #4: Never Buy A Gremlin

Gremlins.

Don't buy some weird creature with apparently very specific rules (which the consequences of breaking are never explained) from the shopkeeper's son AFTER the shopkeeper specifically says it's not for sale.

Well at least don't act surprised when they go on to destroy an entire town.

SoMuchF0rSubtlety

More, Poor Dinosaur Chow

I guess the movie wouldn't have exactly ended...but I always thought Dennis Nedry would have gotten away with it if he just didn't drive like an idiot to the dock in Jurassic Park.

SuperNapTime

Then We Would Never Have Known His Name...

Not a movie, but Breaking Bad would have ended in first episode if Walt swallowed his pride and took the money he was offered.

a33maxi

It Really Tied The Room Together

The Big Lebowski, if that Asian dude didn't pee on the rug it would have ended right there.

Thank god he did though.

Superzeffa

A New Hope Would've Become A Terrible Choice

Star Wars A New Hope.

"Blast the escape pod just in case since droids wouldn't give off life signs"

emjaytheomachy

Learn To Mind Your Own Business

Rambo.

If the police chief wouldn't have been such an ass and accepted Rambo passing through his city, it would've made the movie like 30 min long.

TheSchlaf

Always Blame The Maid

101 Dalmatians.

On the night the puppies are born, Cruella comes to purchase them, only to find that they have no spots. "Mongrels! No spots! The devil take them!" she shouts. The housekeeper counters "they'll get their spots, you'll see!" If she had just kept her damn mouth shut, Cruella would not have bothered to steal the puppies. Pongo and his family would live happily ever after. Things would not end so well for the other 84 dalmatian puppies that were bought and paid for.

CrabbyBlueberry

Is Voldemort Truly That Evil?

Harry Potter,

Voldemort could've punched that baby straight in the face and the movie would be done.

delano95

Chocolate Makes The Mind Go Mad

Strangely enough, Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory would have been a lot longer if the characters had acted rationally. "Oh, you're all good kids, erm, I'll have to think longer about this....."

_CarlClegg

No More Motion Sickness

The Blair Witch Project.

"Let's go in the woods and see if there's a witch"

everyone "NO"

"Ok you know what. Nevermind"

TbhIdekMyName

Call The Locksmith!

If Newt had fixed the lock on his suitcase the minute he saw it was broken

DerryPublicWorksDept

Moral Of The Story? Always Go To The Bar

Wreck-it Ralph could have been over a lot faster if Ralph had decided to not go try to win a medal, but instead just spend some time at the bar. The result would be the same - the other characters realize that without him, they don't have a game, so maybe they shouldn't be d-cks.

RenaKunisaki

Maybe Let Your Mom Know?

127 Hours.

If the main character decided to let someone know where he was hiking, go with a friend or not act like a goddamn idiot he would have kept his damn arm.

godbullseye

But, What About The Midichlorians?

Star Wars would have been very different if everyone stuck with their gut and left Anakin alone.

"This kid had a very abnormal birth. His power levels look like they could be off the chart. Still, he is not interested in that. He just wants to be a pod racer and an engineer. How about we leave him alone and let him be the tech nerd he wants to be..."

inksmudgedhands

The Problem With Every Horror Movie...

"Is that a blade I hear scraping the wall and coming towards me in a eerie slow pace...?"

"Better go check it out and say hi."

HansjeHolland

The Problem With Every Romantic Movie...

Basically every romance movie ever made. They fall in love, they miscommunicate or misunderstand and thus break apart. OH NO! Why not talk it out like adults? Because then the movie would end after the first 30 mins.

Pfroompf

And The Man That Started It All...

They're not movies, but basically any Shakespeare play:

Othello- just talk to your wife and sort things out

Macbeth- they're witches, don't listen to them

Romeo and Juliet- plan this s--t out together before you do pretend to kill yourselves Etc

IlikeFOODmeLikeFOOD

H/T: Reddit

Image by Anemone123 from Pixabay

Life is hard. It's a miracle to make it through with some semblance of sanity. We are all plagued by grief and trauma. More and more people of all backgrounds are opening up about personal trauma and its origins. Finally! For far too long we've been too silent on this topic. And with so many people unable to afford mental health care, the outcomes can be damaging.

All of our childhoods have ups and downs and memories that can play out like nightmares. We carry that, or it follows us and the first step in recovery is talking about it. So who feels strong enough to speak?

Redditor u/nthn_thms wanted to see who was willing to share about things they'd probably rather forget, by asking:

What's the most traumatizing thing you experienced as a child?
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Image by klimkin from Pixabay

Being single can be fun. In fact, in this time of COVID, being single can save lives. But the heart is a fickle creature.

And being alone can really suck in times of turmoil. None of us are perfect and it feels like that's all anyone is looking for... perfect.

Now that doesn't mean that all of us are making it difficult to partner up. Sure, some people are too picky and mean-spirited, but some of the rest of us are crazy and too much to handle. So one has to be sure.

The truth is, being single is confusing, no matter how much we try to match. So let's try to understand...

Redditor u/Mcxyn wanted to discuss some truths about love and our own issues, by asking:

Why are you single?
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Tiard Schulz/Unsplash

Whether you're an at home parent, a college student just leaving the nest, or a Food Network junkie, there are a few basic tips that everyone should know.

Chef's gave us some of their top tips for amateurs and beginner at home cooks that will really make a difference. They are trained professionals with years of experience in the kitchen, so they definitely know what we're all missing.

If you're looking to improve some of your cooking skills and techniques, but you're still learning how to boil water correctly, this list is for you.

Redditor BigBadWolf44 wanted in on the secrets and asked:

"Chefs of Reddit, what's one rule of cooking amateurs need to know?"

Let's learn from the masters!


What a common mistake!

"A lot of the time when people add salt to a dish because they think it tastes flat, what it really needs is an acid like lemon juice or vinegar."

- Vexvertigo

"Instructions unclear I drugged my dinner party guests and now they're high on acid."

- itsyoboi_human

"Yes! Or tomatoes. They're pretty acidic too and go with so many things. Our dinners are so much better once the garden tomatoes are ripe. Or if a dish is too acidic, oil/butter or a little sugar can help add balance to it."

- darkhorse85

"Like tomato and eggs. Every Chinese mom makes those slightly differently and I haven't had a tomato egg dish I didn't like yet."

- random314

"There's a book called 'Salt Fat Acid Heat' that comes highly recommended to amateur cooks."

- Osolemia

"Reading even just the first chapter about salt made a lot of food I cooked immediately better, because I finally understood salt wasn't just that thing that sat on the dinner table that you applied after the meal was cooked."

- VaultBoy42

"Salt is important for sweets. A batch of cookies without that little hint of salt doesn't taste quite right."

- Osolemia

Unfortunately, this tip might not be accessible to everyone. Many people who contracted COVID can no longer use their sense of smell the way they used to.

"Have a friend that lost his smell from COVID, and now he only recognizes if food is salty, sweet, sour or bitter."

- AlphaLaufert99

"Just wait until he gets his sense of smell back and a ton of foods smell like ammonia or literal garbage now. Yeah, that's fun... It's been 7 months for f*cks sake just let me enjoy peanut butter again!!!!!!!!!"

- MirzaAbdullahKhan

You can't take back what you've already put in.

"You can always add, but you cannot take away."

- El_Duende666

"I find people's problems usually are they're too scared to add rather than they add too much."

- FreeReflection25

"I see you also grew up white in the mid-west."

- Snatch_Pastry

Safety first!

"Not really a cooking tip, but a law of the kitchen: A falling knife has no handle."

- wooddog

"I'm always so proud of my reflexes for not kicking in when I fumble a knife."

"If I drop anything else, my stupid hands are all over themselves trying to catch it (and often failing). But with a knife the hardwired automatic reaction is jump back immediately. Fingers out of the way, feet out of the way, everything out of the way. Good lookin out, cerebellum!"

- sonyka

"Speaking of KICKING in. On first full time cooking job I had a knife spin and fall off the counter. My (stupid) reflex was to put my foot under it like a damn hacky sack to keep it from hitting the ground. Went through the shoe, somehow between my toes, into the sole somehow without cutting me. Lessons learned: (1) let it fall; (2) never set a knife down close to the edge or with the handle sticking out; (3) hacky sack is not nearly as cool as it could be."

- AdjNounNumbers

"Similarly, NEVER put out a grease or oil fire with water. Smother with a lid or dump baking soda in there (do not use flour, as it can combust in the air making things worse)."

- Metallic_Substance

How else will you know it tastes good?

"Taste the food."

- OAKRAIDER64

"Also don't be afraid to poke and prod at it. I feel like people think the process is sacred and you can't shape/flip/feel/touch things while you cook them. The more you are hands on, the more control you have."

"No, this does not include situations where you are trying to sear something. Ever try flipping a chicken thigh early? That's how you rip a chunk out of it and leave it glued to the pan until it's burnt."

- Kryzm

Here's one just for laughs.

"When you grab a pair of tongs, click them a few times to make sure they are tongs."

- Kolshdaddy

"People really overlook this one. You've gotta tong the tongs a minimum of 3 times to make sure they tong, or else it can ruin the whole dish."

- BigTimeBobbyB

If you're looking to get into cooking or to improve you technique, pay attention to these few tips.

Salt generously, add an acid to brighten things up, and don't forget to taste your food!

If all else fails, you can always order take out.

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Victoria_Borodinova/Pixaba

As part of the learning process, children often do embarrassing things before they learn a little more about the world and all the different implications therein. While the inappropriate moment is usually minor and ends in laugher some instances are truly mortifying.

One such instance involved a little sister who was around 6 at the time. It was the 90s and at the height of the youth-focused PSAs (think the frying egg representing your brain). One type was a safety PSA about stranger danger. The speaker would remind the children that if a stranger tried to take you anywhere to yell “Stop, you're not my mommy/daddy" to raise the alarm.

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