People Who Were Considered The 'Weird' Kid In School Share Their Side Of The Story
Children and adolescents are often completely inept at socializing responsibly.
Unfortunately, certain traits were rewarded and others were not. For example, it's easy to interpret loud energy as confidence and humor.
But some kids just didn't have loudness in them.
But in that high school ecosystem, that's no mere attribute.
It's grounds for ridicule.
Redditor blossomb1tch__ asked:
"People who were the 'Weird' or 'Quiet' kids in high school, what's your side of the story?"
From Quiet to Manic
"I had undiagnosed mental illnesses and no mental health support system" -- stealtoadboots
"Same. In my case I was the weird quiet kid in elementary school. From Kindergarten to about halfway through 5th grade, I suffered from selective mutism in school, mixed with severe depression."
"Part way through 5th grade I started to talk in school, but continued to suffer from severe and debilitating depression until freshman year of high school. By high school I wasn't the quiet kid in school anymore."
"At that point Bipolar I made its grand appearance, and, while mania may have made me weird, it did not make me quiet. Didn't actually get diagnosed until I was in my late 30s. Everything made a lot more sense after that." -- librarymania
Hard to Relate When You’re So Far Away
"I had undiagnosed inattentive ADHD so my head was in the clouds more often than not." -- coronaslayer
"Undiagnosed ADHD-PI + social anxiety (almost certainly caused by social rejection by peers in K-8)."
"Not fun. And not recognized until I was in college." -- PyroDesu
"I have ADHD as well :) It was tough at first but I've learned to embrace it to an extent. It's never too bad to live in the clouds, as the ground sucks sometimes. I hope you're doing well <3" -- blossomb1tch__
A Pivotal Discovery
"Had Autism, didn't know." -- [deleted]
"It's not very specific and there are loads of varying symptoms. Why it's called a spectrum."
"But biggest indicators for me at least were strong, unusual obsessions. As in I would get extremely obsessed over a topic that there's no reason to be obsessed about. Some other indicators are trouble making friends or maintaining relationships."
"Sensitive to bright lights and sounds. Stimming (fidgeting). OCD tendencies. Often people get frustrated or irritated with you about your behavior or things you might have said, but you have no idea why they are."
"And the biggest indicator is if you think you might be autistic, you probably are." -- drewisawesome14
Tremors and Tiredness
"Secretly and unknowingly suffering from severe anxiety and depression mixed with a little insomnia to boot." -- perspicacity-404
"Lol I have social anxiety and insomnia, (my sleep schedule is very irregular) for the last two days I didn't sleep and my anxiety was on the top of mount Everest..."
"...I just got a full nights sleep yesterday and the amount of confidence I had today was unbelievable." -- Dry_Ad_7848
Others highlighted an important dynamic.
These Redditors explained sometimes the alienated kid was originally not very different from anyone else.
But one quirk can snowball.
"It's a downward spiral. You get picked on a few times, and don't take it well. After a while you learn to not draw attention to yourself by being quiet and withdrawing. When you withdraw, you internalise more, which isn't necessarily healthy."
A Last Ditch Effort
"I guess I'll share my side. I was frequently seen as weird and bullied for wearing pajamas and not looking put together during school, and just being an awkward kid with poor social skills."
"The reality was my home life wasn't that great, I had undiagnosed anxiety, and I was doing the bare minimum of showing up so people wouldn't think I was dead."
"When I made valentines letters for my class one year I got teased for trying to be nice and it only hurt my reputation more. This made me scared to talk to my peers, emotional and 'quiet.' "
"Thank god I graduated."
"I thought everyone hated me, so I stopped talking to people because I didn't want to bother them." -- biaforeverwar
"If complete strangers (aka kids not even in my class) are spending a disturbing amount of time making fun of you, you tend to think that everybody hates you."
"Source: me." -- shf500
And a few didn’t see their quietness as a problem at all.
They dispassionately noticed their uniqueness, and that was that.
Nothing To Speak Of
"There's not much of a story. I just didn't feel the need to talk as much as other people." -- Asriel92
"I never knew how people could think up new things to talk about every day. I've never had the knack. Plus, I was so nervous of saying the wrong thing." -- BringBackRobotWars
"Yes agreed. I felt a lot of people talked for the sake of saying something but it was nothing of substance." -- toast_with_butt
Eyes on the Prize
"I wanted to go to medical school. I knew I wanted this since I was 6. I was not going to do anything to jeopardize my dreams, so I didn't do anything the other kids did."
"I didn't go drinking at the high school parties. I never did any drugs. I was a good kid."
"The few times I got sent to the principals' office, I was laughed at and sent back to class with no punishment. I caught hell for being a 'goody-two-shoes.' "
"What am I now? I'm a doctor."
"I had nothing in common with the people at my school with the exception of 2 friends. I wasn't into anything that my peers were into or that they felt was important."
"Nothing has changed really."
"This might sound pathetic or possibly creepy but sometimes I felt closer to those people than I actually was. Like I had a small group of friends of course, but I loved observing everyone. And then when they would talk to me the reality would hit me that these people really didn’t pay attention to me at all. I felt acquainted with them and they sometimes wouldn’t even know my name. It made me feel like a slight creep."
"I wish I could say I hated everyone like most of the other people commenting but honestly I was just too socially awkward to really put myself out there. I didn’t care too much for most of the people, but I still wanted to be known by them at least. I’m not torn up over it anymore tbh, it’s amazing how little I think about these people now that I’ve graduated. It’s 100% true what people say about none of it mattering." -- danger_slug
"High functioning autism. I didn't understand social cues or knew how to make friends.I sure as hell wasn't quiet but I was pretty damn weird. Still managed to make friends though." -- Fallowsong
"I was definitely weird, but not quiet. I was like outlier popular. I hung around with all the groups, but didn't 'belong' anywhere. Super lonely till my junior year when I got a car and could come and go as I pleased. I just didn't give a shit about the small stuff. So when people were all into prom queen/king, homecoming court, competing socially, I just wanted to smoke pot and hang out. I still don't sweat the small stuff, which works great in most circles but I have to put on my inner jock hat in corporate situations." -- combustablegoeduck
"I was abused by my family and going to school was an escape from them, only to be attacked by bullies. I eventually learned if I didn't say anything, people wouldn't notice me as much, so I just tried to keep to myself and our small friend group as much as possible. I'm still trying to learn how to meet new people as an adult but I just don't see the point anymore." -- TheGamerHat
This is Me
"Still am the weirdo in the bunch! As a kid I was just labeled a nerd. I had horrible social skills. Now my skills are much better but I still don't pick up on cues like everybody else does so folks find me pretty annoying sometimes. I'm able to confirm.those feelings for them and admit that I'm annoying and it seems to break the ice. It has been like this for as long as I can remember." -- marti924
"I was a super nerd. Teachers didn't know what to do with me and if I answered questions in class the other kids would get mad or the teacher would say I know you know how about a regular student answer my question. By saying that the teacher made me the victim of bullying. I had medical issues so I was super thin and petite. I was abused at home in every way you can almost imagine so I wore long skirts, dresses and sleeves to hide the bruises and the scabs from where my flesh was tore open from the beatings."
"My family thought I was a know it all so I got mistreated. I was bullied from elementary all the way through high school by family and other school kids. Oh many teachers thought I was a cheater because they didn't think a Latina could be as smart as I was." -- WickedMags
I'm doing fine.
"I felt like a misfit and thought no one liked me. Just wanted to go somewhere else. I was much happier in college, where I met more of my type of people, or people who were more open to accepting other people as they were, and had a lot of fun. After college, I met people at work that I had a lot in common with, so I still had a robust social life for an introvert."
"Now, in my 40s, most of my friends are busy with their kids and spouses and I spend most of my time alone again. I'd much rather be alone than be surrounded by people and feel alone. I'm pretty good company for myself and stay busy with work and hobbies. I'm doing fine." -- FranzLuciferdinand
"I was screamed at by my mother every day and told no one would ever like me, in-between being screamed at to make her tea while trying to study for school. Long story short, I grew up believing no one liked me and anything that might be perceived as 'for me' like studying was bad - I grew up being told I was selfish and awful. Still can't focus worth shit bc I'm always looking over my shoulder, but at least I no longer believe everyone hates me. People are at worst impartial. That's pretty liberating." -- Popcorn_panic1
"the cool kids"
"I was weird but I knew it. And the only reason I was considered 'weird' was because i was myself and I didn't try to imitate 'the cool kids' and because I was me, I ended up being liked by everyone, even the 'cool kids.' I was called weird, authentic, goofball, dumb, a good listener. But I owned up to who I was. I never denied it." -- Madogg90
"I am naturally outgoing. That said I grew up in a very religious household, and by the time I got to High School my parents were getting divorced. I didn’t begin to develop socially until I was finishing college." -- Southside_Burd
Mind my business...
"Everyone already had their friend groups locked in, I’d try to be a part of one but I’d get ignored, so I just minded my own business. I had friends up until middle school, and then suddenly it was like I was forgotten about. I just learned to accept that nobody cared about my existence. Then I’d get made fun of for not having great social skills whenever I had to talk." -- SadBeans82
I'm sure if you look back on your time at school you'll remember at least a couple kids just like this.
Or perhaps you were the quiet kid.
Either way, now you likely know a little bit more of the untold story behind it all
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People Confess Whether The Number Of Someone's Previous Sexual Partners Matter To Them While Dating
Sex. Let's have a frank discussion.
Most of us have it. And many of us have had it with several different people over time.
That shouldn't be a difficult truth to discuss.
So let's talk numbers.
Do we all have a number that is too high to accept from a partner?
Are the numbers none of our business as long everything turned out fine?
Reddit had some thoughts.
Redditor LaRata59 wanted to discuss everybody's past sexual history, so they asked:
"Does the amount of sexual encounters your partner has had matter to you? Why or why not?"
If you're willing to be intimate with a partner, you should be open to having difficult conversations.
Keep QuietAmy Schumer No GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphy
"I don’t mind, but ten minutes after sex I don’t want to hear your last girlfriend was 24 when you’re 42. Or hear how awesome sex was with your ex-wife, or how great sex was in Guam with your ex-girlfriend."
"I would care only because my wife and I have been together since high school and we both should have 1 partner each... each other. So if that's not true it would be a problem."
"Same here but 4 years a go my wife had a brief affair and I'm still struggling to get past it since we are still together (of sorts)."
"Me too. I found out 2 years ago. I think about it every day, I’m definitely not past it. We are still together and have been for 18 years. It has really destroyed me."
I was convinced...
"So long as they haven't run through my entire friend group, I don't care."
"A few years ago, I started to worry about a girl in our friend group that I suspected of having an eye on my boyfriend at the time. I expressed that to him, and he reassured me of the fact that he had several girlfriends and that he was not attracted to her anyway."
"She was single and she liked to party a lot. He concluded by telling me 'anyways that girl, she slept with all my friends.' I was convinced. Well, guess what, he's now married and has two kids with her."
Who Cares?Eddie Murphy Whatever GIF by Coming to AmericaGiphy
"As long as the count doesn't continue increasing during the relationship, it doesn't matter at all. I have a past, too."
Who cares? Carry on...
Be Silentnot listening stephen colbert GIFGiphy
"No but also don't want to know, so I never ask."
"Yeah, as long as you're clean and not comparing me to past lovers. Also, I sure as f**k don't want to hear about them. I'm very visual, so I'm not trying to picture your previous sexcapades, thank you.
"I was seeing a girl that had a lot of guy friends. It would come to light that she had slept with all of them at one point. Co-workers, long time friends, boyfriends of her girlfriends etc. It's unnerving socially to know that so many people in the social circle you're joining has been with the person you're trying to have a relationship with."
"It would also come to light that she had a 'wild period' where she would hook up with 3-4 random guys in a week. I thought it was in the past so I looked the other way. But things like trauma, dissociation during intimacy, trust issues, bad boundaries with the opposite sex, judgment over your own sexual appetite etc were all becoming an issue."
"She eventually cheated while visiting family back home with someone she said had abused her physically and mentally. A lot of the times, it is a sign of someone who has serious mental health issues or very low self worth. Either case does not result in a healthy relationship and you should tread lightly."
"No, to a point. To me, the past only matter in its ability to catch up to the present. If someone has had sex with 50 people but it never has a negative effect on our life together and she still enjoys sex with me, then it’s not a problem."
"However if someone has had sex with 5 people and all 5 are frequently coming back into her life and causing drama for both of us, or if she can’t enjoy sex with me due to comparing it to a past partner, then that it is an issue."
"So to me it’s not the number, but the affect of the number. With that being said, it’s not something I would ask about because typically if the past is going to be a problem there are better warning signs."
"For me, a very introverted person, sex is one of the most intimate things in a relationship. And if the other person doesn't need the same emotional connection beforehand. I would feel just like another body in their 'collection.' But also I don't shame anybody partaking in the hookup culture. It's just not something for me."
Be SureIs This Thing On Bob GIF by RedbrickGiphy
"It does not matter to me however I’m still be cautious of STD/STI; so I’d prefer they get tested before we have sex."
The past is the past. Maybe let it be.
Redditors Explain Which Types Of People Get Treated With Less Sympathy Than They Deserve
CW: domestic violence.
People carry biases and false beliefs with them about a broad spectrum of things.
Unfortunately, some of those beliefs involve people, and those beliefs can limit or even hurt them.
Redditor anthropocener47 asked:
"What kind of people often get treated with less sympathy?"
"Just Lose Some Weight," They Say
"People who are overweight."
"There is this perception that all of my issues are because I am overweight."
"I'm a male who has been a victim of Domestic Violence, and let me tell you: People not only don't take you seriously, but they'll actually put you down."
"They'll talk s**t about you. They'll say you deserved it. They'll belittle you for getting beat up by a girl; god help you if you actually physically defended yourself in any situation where you were getting assaulted by a woman."
"The most I've ever done is restrain a woman when she was beating on me. And I've had people tell me that this was going 'too far' and that I should have just stood there and taken it. And I am NOT a little guy, which seems to make things worse."
"If you get your a** kicked, you're a b***h. If you defend yourself, you're the abuser. There's absolutely no winning in that situation."
"There is 100% no sympathy for male victims of domestic violence. It's sickening how uniformly society acts regarding this topic."
"People who lose their temper when desperately trying to get people to understand that they have been abused."
"It’s actually a serious problem in courts that abuse victims look crazy and unstable because they do normal human things like express emotion and are often quite emotional and anxious after their abuse so they are perceived as untrustworthy, shifty, easily confused, erratic and liars."
"Meanwhile, their abuser is calm and collected and charming and comes off very well because why wouldn’t they, none of this affects them. They just lie and get away with it and are believed that they are the stable one and their victim is crazy and the real abuser."
Those Seeking Self-Improvement
"People who made some bad choices in the past and are trying to better their lives."
The Bullied Kids
"Kids who are bullied."
"'Well, I didn’t see it happen.' No, because he did it when you weren’t looking. That’s the point."
"As a kid, I visited my grandparents in assisted living facilities several times a week. These were dementia wards where no one knew who anyone was. No one knew where they were or why they were there."
"Easily 90% of the time, we were the only family there. No one visited their crazy parents because it was scary and depressing."
"It’s really fueled my wish to study dementia and work with people who have it. Often they have no one to look out for them."
"People that don't smile. My best friend is an absolute angel of a person but I've only seen him smile a few times over the last seven years. Traumatic events are a motherf**ker."
"Chronically ill and disabled people who don’t get 'better' after a few months (because that’s not how chronic illness or disability f**king works)."
Themselves to Blame
"People with Lung Cancer or Type 2 Diabetes. The 'you did this to yourself' attitude."
An Unfair System
"People who stutter. People who are quiet. People with social anxiety. People who can’t speak English well. Men who don’t earn. Men who earn less. Women who can’t conceive. People with mental disabilities."
"People in 'unskilled' positions. Sure, a burger flipper or custodian doesn’t need a college degree, but unskilled does not equal not hard work."
"Having to prepare so much food in little time, deal with rude customers, and cleaning up stuff. The number of stories of people smearing poop on the walls. The stuff these people go through, people should feel sympathy."
Mental Illness on the Job
"I have BPD (Bipolar Disorder) and have suffered from depression for over 20 years."
"I've been applying for jobs lately where it asks for disability declaration and specifically mentions mental illness and I still have a hard time selecting it for fear of not being believed or it costing me the job."
"I had a hard time sympathizing with people who suffer from severe anxiety. My attitude was always 'just deal with it, stress is temporary.'"
"Last summer there was a series of events that triggered unprecedented anxiety for me, I didn't eat for days at a time, barely slept, and could barely function at work. It was absolutely debilitating and felt completely uncontrollable."
"A week on vacation helped but it came back as soon as I got home. So I went to my doctor and he prescribed a few meds, which helped a lot."
"Now I understand that kind of crippling anxiety, and I'm a lot more sympathetic to those who struggle to manage it."
"I LOOK so incredibly healthy. But I'm not. I'm crippled for life, and I'm in pain from it until it kills me. I keep quiet about it, because I don't want attention on it and I don't like to waste my energy making noise about it."
"But some people who find out are very weird about it."
"I look like a cherub. A cute young girl, with rosy cheeks, a lil chubby, very short, with a baby face. And seemingly healthy as heck."
"In reality, I'm a grown woman who is crippled as f**k, in agony most days, has hidden open sores under my hair, and arthritis in every joint including my neck and spine."
"I'm on more medications than both your grandparents combined. We're probably on some of the same ones. And for some of the ones I'm on, their doctor would refuse to give them."
"I might not live very long. But I also might, hard to say."
"But those times I have to fight to be treated like a person really and truly suck. Because My pain makes other people feel uncomfortable."
"There's a real disdain towards poorer people like they should magically be able to make more money."
"For lots of people, they have disadvantages that make that more difficult, like a lack of education or support, lack of time, illness or disability, or even just being stuck in a neverending cycle and having to time/money/ability to get themselves out."
"For some others, they prioritize other parts of life over money, and there's nothing wrong with making that choice for yourself."
The subReddit was left collectively shaking its head as the community thought about the various people who are often undervalued, underappreciated, and under-supported, simply because of who they are.
But the worst truth is that so many of these situations are unavoidable, like growing older or being ill. Even for those that could be corrected with time, like having more money, it would only make sense that supporting that person more would allow them to change their situation more quickly.
If you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence, help is available 24/7 at the National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-7233. You can also find additional support and resources on their website: https://www.thehotline.org/
Men Explain How They'd Honestly React If Their Friend Came Out To Them
Coming out of the closet is an inconvenient rite of passage for anyone who has been suppressing their authentic selves for the comfort of their heterosexual acquaintances.
While there have been some advances made regarding LGBTQ+ visibility with role models who are out, it's still impossible to predict friends' reactions.
This is exactly why some tend to reconsider declaring their sexual identity.
Curious to hear from straight males online about what their reactions might be, Redditor Glittering-Ask-7298 asked:
"Men of reddit, what would you do if you found out your homie is gay?"
Some guys really appreciated hearing the news.
"Nothing...I had this happen actually. I said congrats at first but then said 'that was a stupid response it's not like you're getting married.' We both laughed about my response and I told him I'm glad he felt comfortable telling me and that nothing changes between us if he thought it would."
It Started With A Homophobic Sister
"Had this happen to me as well. He’s been (and is still) one of my best friends since childhood. I had no idea, other than I had noticed he really never dated anyone to my knowledge. One day, I called his sister out for some homophobic stuff she posted on Facebook (I think it was about Lil Nas X), because I distinctly remembered her having several girlfriends in high school."
"My buddy texted me to send a virtual high-five and came out to me. I told him that it had honestly never occurred to me but made a lot of sense. He then went on to explain he had been in some relationships but kept them private for obvious reasons. I told him it meant a lot being one of the only people from our small town that he’s opened up to."
Michael, We Know
"A buddy of mine years ago came out to a whole group of us at a dinner once and we were just like, 'uhhh... Yeah, Michael, we know.' And then like 10 minutes later one of the group just goes 'WAIT! Hold on. Michael, dude, did you just come out to us? Were you not out before??' Apparently he was not, or at least he didn't intend to be..."
Some straight male friends deserve more credit.
Heat Of The Moment
"My buddy came out to one of my friends. He pulled him a side at like an airport when they were traveling or something. Of course he never pulled someone aside IRL like that, so it seemed pretty nuts. And he and was like, 'I have something important I have to tell you. I'm gay.'"
"My friend was like, 'Jesus f'king christ. That's it? Don't scare me like that! I thought you were gonna tell me you had cancer or something.' Of course in the moment it was nothing but love for my pal, showing he was going to be loved and accepted. And that him being alive and in his life was what mattered most."
My Best Friend Isn't Dying
"My best friend did the same to me. I was living overseas and he told me he needed to talk to me about something important but we had a 13 hour time difference. I was so stressed thinking he was dying or something. Came out and I was like 'oh okay! You had me thinking you were dying of cancer!' We still joke about how dramatic it all was. Our group as a whole suspected he was gay but were letting him figure it out and tell us in his own time!"
Not A Big Deal
"My best friend came out in high school and was so worried about what people would think of him. He cried when I told him I accept him regardless of what his sexual or gender preferences are. I didn't really do anything about it because I'm not a homophobe :P"
Here's the thing about true homies.
Added Benefit To The Friendship
"Most of my homies are gay. They help me not look homeless when we go out for dinner 😁."
"Honestly that's the big fear of gay guys when coming out to their straight homie, like they'll just walk away from the friendship or be really unsupportive but if he does that he was never a homie to begin with."
Continue Being The Best Man
"this happened with my best friend actually. He was terrified to tell me, and in retrospect it saddens me because it meant I made him feel like there was a chance I would judge him for it. He's still my best friend today and was the best man at my wedding, so the answer is, continue to be the best friend you can be."
Some levity goes a long way.
Calling Out His Relationship Status
"Stop making jokes about him not having a girlfriend and start making jokes about him not having a boyfriend."
"I had this happen to me, as well. I was like 'OH MY GOD, YOU EVIL GAY MAN! YOUR GAYNESS IS CAUSING ALL THE CROP FAILURES BECAUSE IT DISPLEASES THE LORD!' And then, naturally, we sacrificed him so that the rains would come."
It turns out that LGBTQ+ people generally don't have much to fear when it's time to come out on their own terms to friends.
Their reactions will either reinforce the fact that the friendship has always been authentic or superficial.
If coming out results in revealing the latter example, well, it was time to clean house anyway.
Keep the real homies close. They'll always have your back.
People Debate Whether Mental Health Issues Are A Valid Reason To Call Out From Work
Every now and again, some people might call in sick to work when they might not be technically sick.
Instead, they are just feeling overwhelmed, tired, anxious, or many other things and just need a day to collect their thoughts.
A "mental health day," if you will.
But should we have to lie about their mental health being the reason they aren't coming to work?
No doubt, they likely aren't honest about it for fear their bosses might not consider it a valid excuse, but should bosses and managers be more sympathetic and understanding?
"Is mental health issues a valid reason to call in sick to work? Why or why not?"
Sick Days Can Be Used However People So Chose
"If you got sick days, use em for whatever, who cares why."- Chance-Ad4773
"I use sick days, and even vacation days, for mental health."
"How are you going to perform to the best of your ability, if you're not your best?" - _bakedgouda
"Just call in sick, it's nobodies business what your illness is." - Bierculles
An Illness Is An Illness, Plain And Simple
"In my opinion, absolutely."
"Mental health is as important as physical health."- Defiant63
"Illness is both physical & mental, which you can argue mental is also physical considering it’s regarding your brain."
"Big difference between: 'I don’t feel like going to work' and 'I can’t perform my professional obligations and need rest'."- patlaff91
Yes. No Questions Asked.
"It's valid, sure."
'Whether your employer agrees is another subject."- brock_lee
Progress Needs To Be Made
"I would argue mental health is as important to take care of than physical health."
"But I would probably not tell them it’s mental sh*t just because we aren’t there as a society yet that recognizes taking care of one’s mental health."
"We are getting there but not quite."- ironicallyunstable
Valid, But Complicated
"However, mental health does carry a stigma, and if your higher-ups sense you might be a 'head case' or something, you may be passed over for promotions and stuff for people they deem more 'mentally stable' or whatever the f*ck."
"But most jobs cannot ask you the details on your health."
"So you can just call out 'sick', and don't disclose that it's mental in nature."
"If you have a job that requires proof of illness?"
"Might be time to look for a new job, yikes!"- daithisfw
"It is a valid reason but beware that not all people take mental health seriously and calling in because of it can lead to some people to start treating you differently, whether that be in a good way or a bad way in comparison to how you were treated before."
"Some employers may even cut your hours because of this as well, because in their eyes you just didn't want to work."-SeniorConfusion6698
Yes, But Plan Accordingly
"Some thoughts from a guy who has managed a lot of people."
"From a practical perspective what's 'valid' in the workplace has much to do with your relationships with co-workers and managers."
"A person who is generally productive and has good relationships will get a lot more leeway on things like mental health days than someone who's not productive and engages in conflict."
"You'll have lot more support from colleagues when you're going through tough times if you spend time, in advance, cultivating good relationships and a good reputation."
"Be honest with yourself on whether your choice of careers aligns with the degree of stress (both professional and personal) you're able to handle."
"I've known a lot of people who've chosen careers paths that are inherently more stressful and hectic than they're able to handle or don't align well with their personal responsibilities."
"Be honest with yourself on whether you're truly cut out for working in a given field, or at a given company, in a given role, or for a given person."
"Of course, many people don't have a choice on what job that they do, but if you do, try to find one that aligns with your own personal comfort level."
"Keep your expectations balanced."
"You absolutely do have the right to expect reasonable accommodations for your mental health and stress levels at work."
"The flip side of that is that your employer does have the right to expect that certain roles are filled by people who have the capacity to put up with a degree of consistent stress."
"If you attend too little to your mental health you'll burn out and your career will stall."
"However, if you can't manage yourself through a certain amount of stressful situations, your career will likely stall too."- JohanB3
It's Not The Why That Matters, But The How Much
"I never gave a sh*t why someone called in sick."
"It only ever became an issue if they were out of sick time."
"And if they were did the event qualify for FMLA."
"Was quite a headache during COVID, admittedly."
"As some people never got it and some people had it multiple times."
"We were making exceptions for some people while still being more demanding than usual of others."
"What a mess that was."
"But still didn't want to fire someone because they or their family had COVID so they missed work."- thedankbank1021
If people find themselves in a headspace where they know they won't be able to get any work done, it won't be to anyone's advantage for them to come to work.
Something they might want to consider, however, is maybe it's the job itself which is taking a toll on their mental health.
And it's not a day off they need, but should instead be handing in their resignation?