When we fall in love it's a beautiful experience. We always become so swept up in the glory of it all we neglect to think about what it means to actually succumb to the heart's desires. Falling in love and deciding to pursue a relationship with another means you're placing implicit trust in another human. Because if you can't trust them or yourself, there is no point.
But too often we sully that trust. Yes people cheat. But not all people. And if you're going to be obsessed about it, stay single. Too many people have never strayed and they live under suspicion they don't deserve.... or do they?
Redditor u/Sparrowflyaway wanted to hear from y'all about why we should believe "it wasn't you" by asking.... Innocent people whose SO wrongly thought you were cheating on them, what's your story?Clean Up Screw
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Was told one time that going to help my parent's clean up their house was me secretly going to their neighbor's house to cheat, even though my parents attested for me it was chalked up to them "taking their child's side because they're my parents" and also not to mention their only neighbor is an elderly couple.
In the Act
He had been behaving progressively strange for some time. My whole social life pretty much happens online, it's always been like that, and most of my friends are male. It started with him worrying about me having feelings for my male friends because I was smiling at my phone when I was chatting to them. I was suddenly defending myself almost full time, had a new job of constantly reassuring him.
That evolved into him coming home early from work, or lying about his shifts so he could come home without me expecting him, hoping to "catch me in the act". It just kept getting worse. His behavior was never abusive in any way, but it definitely caused a rift in our relationship. It came to the point where I was so tired of always having him look over my shoulder, and checking on me constantly when I left the house that I was getting ready to leave him, and told him as much.
He asked me to stay, promising he would seek help. He booked us a marriage counsellor, which we saw for a year, and he went to a physician to get a referral to a psychiatrist. The doctor sent him for some blood tests, and as it turns out he has a severe b12 deficiency which was causing extreme paranoia.
True to his word, he worked on himself. He saw a therapist for some time, we went to counseling together, and he took b12 supplements and started taking anti anxiety medication (which he still takes).
I fell very deeply in love with him again, and decided I wanted to stay after all. We're still together, and while we have our ups and downs, we have a very strong and loving relationship.
He gotta go!
My Bf, who I lived with, wasn't working and I was working 4 jobs to pay all the bills and save a bit. After a year of this I told him I wasn't happy and gave him a deadline to move out or have a job. He started accusing me of cheating. He would call the places I worked or show up to make sure I was where I said I was. He would follow me to the gym then yell at me for flirting with the trainers (it was a crossfit gym and everyone there were all friends). If I went out with friends he would call every 20 minutes and it would always be a fight when I got home.
Eventually he isolated me from my friends, the gym owner banned him from the property and two of the places I worked had talks with me about him interrupting my work day. We had huge fights about him accusing me of cheating. He would pull up personal ads online and accuse me of creating them. He went through my phone and computer, deleted a lot of things including messages and pictures from my fiancé who had passed 5 years before I met my ex. He would not leave and would not get a job.
I talked to the landlord and she sympathized but said that if i left and he did not leave the apartment an eviction would include both of our names. I finally talked to his parents and they agreed to take him. I convinced him to move l, he thought we were moving together and were going to start over in a new place, when we got to his parents I left the next day.
SUPRISE!!!
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So one night after Christmas a few years ago my wife was trying to set up a toy for our daughter.
It was one of those smart toys that you could program to say the kids name and other stuff. Well her phone died so she asked for mine. I said "no, don't worry about that I will do it later." She kept asking why I wouldn't let her use my phone, and I kept saying I can't right now its a secret." She eventually let it go and grabbed her laptop but she made it clear she was unhappy with me.
The reason I couldn't let her right that moment is literally moments before she asked, I had reached out to all of her friends to plan a surprise birthday party for her. So while this is happening I'm getting dozens of texts that I wont let her read... it was a long night. Eventually her party came and she was happily surprised, and laughed when I explained why I couldn't lend her mine at that moment.
Explain Yourself....
Ohhh man.
About 7 years ago my wife found a woman's earring in our house and accused me of cheating (she had been away for three months doing a summer program out of the country).
I get why she was suspicious, it does look incriminating, especially since it was this fancy dangly earring in a style that my wife doesn't wear.
Except I literally had no idea who the earring belonged to or how it got there, and it's been a mystery in our life since then. No woman came to visit the house while she was away, and I was working ludicrously long hours and was not home for most of the time. My wife found it sitting on a bookshelf in our home office when she returned from her studies.
We legitimately have no idea how the earring got there. No. Freaking. Clue. I told my wife bluntly (after many arguments on the matter) that the only explanations I have left are that some woman broke into out house, stole nothing, and left the earring, or that I genuinely had dissociative identity disorder and apparently lived another life without knowing it.
If someone out there did break into my house and planted that earring to screw with my life... I salute your efforts, you conniving savage.
I love my BB
I call my youngest brother bb ( bébé, cause i'm french ) because he was born when i was 14 and i almost raised him. My boyfriend was jealous, when he saw "bb" on my tel contacts list ... He then asked me if my bro was physically attractive.. The question was weird but screw it ! I said yes, my little brother is handsome, intelligent, I love him and I'm proud of him so what? Overly Jealous people are ridiculous.
It's not Mine or it is but there is a reason....
So my best friend and her bf watched my cat for me and stayed at my apartment when I was out of town for a week. Months after I was back from the trip, my boyfriend was helping me move my bed and a condom wrapper fell out of the bed frame. We had literally never used condoms so he understandably was like what the hell. I had to call my best friend on speaker and idk if he really believed me.
Lookin' Good Girl
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She found a pair of panties mixed in with my laundry.
She accused me of cheating on her. I tried to explain to her that they were mine, she called me a liar as well. Huge fight. A few days later I asked her to come over so we could talk. She agreed. When she arrived I answered the door dressed in drag. And that's how she found out. That was the only way I could think of to show her that they were my undies. We had an overdue conversation about it. She commented on how well I was walking in heels and knew I wasn't lying.
Hold me Bud
One time I thought my girlfriend (now wife) was cheating on me. We lived about an hour apart and she moved into a house with a bunch of work mates, both male and female. I drove up to surprise her, and when parked out front, everyone was sitting outside. She was sitting on this guy's lap and they were all cuddly.
I walk up and say "Surprise, I came for a visit!".... expecting the worst.
She got up, came over and hugged me and introduced me to her seatmate James, who I quickly learned was very gay. He sashayed over and hugged me as well.
I have never been so glad to have been hugged by a gay man.
Dream It. Be It.
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My boyfriend accused me of cheating. He said he'd had a dream that I said to him, "do you have a condom I can borrow? I'm going home with whatshisname from the gym tonight." Of course, because he dreamt it, it must be true.
Crazy is Crazy
Accused me of being the woman in a random porn video he had been watching (her face was not showing).... Accused me of sleeping with coworkers, neighbors.... I used to be afraid to arrive even five minutes later than usual from work.... Made me lose my job by starting a confrontation with a coworker on work premises after calling his house - this was a married man I barely even interacted with, but for some reason he got it into his head and was very sure something was happening between us.
I could go on and on and on with endless examples of how he twisted everything in our life together to conclude I was a cheater.
If you have a jealous SO, don't blink twice, just run like f***ing hell, it does not get better with time, only worse. They will literally ruin your life and leave you a whimpering shadow of who you used to be. I was a nervous and emotional wreck when I finally left him.
Uninterested
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The suspicion arose because I seemed distant/unavailable and uninterested in sex.
You must be getting it somewhere. Everyone does.
Nope. Depressive episode.
But I didn't know how to explain it and it was even less acceptable to talk about then even if I could have.
The Past
She'd been cheated on by her ex and so was very suspicious of anytime I went out alone, work or leisure- she admitted she didn't trust me but in reality didn't trust anyone. It became a very big issue before we separated.
Suddenly....
My ex suddenly became convinced that I was cheating on him. I really don't know where the thought came from. He never accused me of cheating before, but when he started to he was certain that I was and there was no convincing him otherwise. It could be a possibility that he was cheating on me at the time and I was just unaware because he moved 3 hours away and I didn't really know what he was doing anymore. He was already verbally abusive and controlling and it just ramped up. He basically forced me to be on the phone even if I was busy.
If I didn't he would blow my phone up. On the phone he would be degrading me and telling me things like I go out at night. It was really stressful more than anything. Trying to talk logic into someone that is crazy just isn't possible. Thankfully the relationship ended not long after that.
Indisposed
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I take my phone into the shower so he thought I was hiding something. I just poop before I shower and I can't poop without my phone. :(
The Last BF
My last boyfriend would accuse me of cheating at the drop of a hat. As a floor manager going into a backroom to witness a write up? Obviously cheating. Can't get ahold of her because she's sleeping? Cheating. Got into an argument? His favorite response is that I was probably cheating on him. My favorite was when I broke up with him I'm the clearest wording I could think of.
I went on a date with my now fiancè. Word got to me through my best friend that he found out about it and claimed I was cheating on him. 3 months after I broke it off him for good and 8 months after the initial break up. He was super emotionally and mentally abusive and I couldn't see it until I left.
The First
My first boyfriend.
He always flirted and went behind my back with girls and would assume i was doing the same with guys. literally just projected his own crap onto me and then eventually did cheat on me in secret for an entire month with his friends step sister. i found out because a mutual friend felt guilty for knowing he cheated and thought i deserved to know, and when my sh!tty bf found out someone told me the truth he bent over backwards to lie to me and tell me that was fake info and how it never happened. he did everything to convince me and himself he didn't cheat. he was beyond abusive to me and treated me like an object and sadly would encourage others to do the same to me.
It's been 10 years and the abuse and trauma he caused still screws with me. thank god for therapy, am i right?
With Anybody
He thought I was cheating on him at work. No one in particular, just general "cheating with someone" I was not. It escalated very quickly from accusation to half hourly texts that he got angry about me not answering immediately (I worked at an ice cream shop in a shopping centre food court at the time, just to give a picture of how ridiculous this was), to him showing up at my work and sitting in the food court watching me for three hours. Which of course he defended with "It's a public shopping centre, I'm allowed to use the food court, are you trying to control where I go?"
I broke up with him. I don't know what his side was, I don't care, I was not dealing with that nonsense.
He then texted me all the lyrics to Gives You Hell (on his flip phone with no crap 00's level of internet access, he typed that sh!t on a number pad) then a few days later My Immortal. Then I got his number blocked.
The Rookie
My ex went to a rookie gynecologist because she was having some problems with her lady jiblets. He examines her, and says it looks like an STD, but he'll have to run a few more tests to confirm. She comes home, with MURDER in her eyes and ready to KILL me! I deny that I've ever cheated, but the tests don't come back for a few days. I mean, who are you gonna believe?
Me, or an educated professional? Those few days were, you might say, not fun for me. Doctor calls and says, it was just a bad yeast infection.
She stopped going to him. Later we heard from other people, he wasn't the best doctor, and had close his private practice because he tended to mess up A LOT!
Out of Spite
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He made comments about me putting on a lot of makeup before going out with friends, he thought I was seeing someone.
We argued, I still went out, came back afterwards.
This was during a sexless relationship that lasted a bit less than a year. I ended finding out he was not sexually attracted to me at all because he said I was too fat for him.
We were at the 9th month without sex at the point where I left, I then enrolled in school, dropped 50 pounds and kept getting fitter ever since.
Spite is a great motivator.
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