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Survivors Of Stalkers Share Their Experiences

Survivors Of Stalkers Share Their Experiences
Photo by Sydney Sims on Unsplash

Stalkers are a special kind of scary.

That is just a cold, hard fact of life that we must deal with.

And for some reason, these people get fixated on others.

They think they're in love... meanwhile we're calling the police and moving cities.

There is nothing more horrifying than having your life held hostage by someone.

Redditorrentinghappinesswanted to see who would be willing to discuss what it took to live through this scary life experience. They asked:

"People who have had a stalker, how did you realize you were being stalked and what ended up happening?"

I was had an ex who wouldn't take the hint. Keep my phone blowing up for months. I'm lucky though, finally they gave up. Others haven't been as fortunate.

“this is not goodbye”

"It was my ex. When we broke up it was all very dramatic and he got on a bus across the country the same day for whatever reason and sent a long message from the bus ending with 'this is not goodbye' I said 'yes it is, good luck.' Two years later I met my now husband and I suppose he moved back after 3 years. I started seeing him everywhere."

"He followed the two of us around Walmart for 45 minutes until I just posted up near a security guard and slipped out as he tried to wait for me to get away from the security guard. Then I saw him wandering around near my mother's house, but I had at that point moved in with my husband."

"Then I saw him outside of my work. He was clearly trying to get the courage to come in and he was also very clearly high. Some of the regular police officers came in by chance for their coffee and he left when they arrived. Then he figured out the general location where I was living and I saw him sort of wandering around a few times. I didn’t go home when I saw him, I went and sat in a public place for a few hours."

"Then I changed places of work and I saw him outside about three times. I was near a major transportation hub so I tried to ignore it. But when he started doing the pacing/tweaking/chain smoking thing again I figured I oughta do something so I waited for a family friend I knew would be in who was pretty domineering and I knew would go to bat for me and let him know who it was and what he was doing."

"He went outside and told my ex off I suppose. And scared him I guess cause he left quite quickly. My family friend was a bus driver so I gave him a picture and he shared it with some drivers along my regular route and as long as I stuck to that route the few more times I saw him trying to get on my bus we drove right past him or the wrong door opened to let people off and not let him on."

"We finally moved again and I quit my job because I had been bouncing around the same chain and was easy to find. Since then I have seen him once but he didn’t see me and I think it was unrelated because he actually bought something. I just sat in the camera room and watched till he left. It’s been an additional 5 years now so I assume he has figured himself out."

"I got an air of doom every time I saw him. He was kind when we dated, never abusive. But he was anti drugs and anti smoking and so seeing him high and things like that set off alarm bells. I know he was not well when he returned. I don’t know what would have happened had he gotten close to me. Maybe nothing. But every bone in my body was screaming danger. So I trusted my gut and took steps to maintain distance and I was okay. The police wouldn't have done anything. No threats were uttered and we were always in public. But all in all it turned out ok."


Why are you up so late?

"I had a stalker in high school, and he didn't make it a secret."

"We were friends at first, kind of talking romantically, but I was very shy when it came to relationships or being physical. We had never even kissed before when he asked if he could send a song he wrote about me. It made me very uncomfortable and I asked him not to send it, but he did anyway. I expressed my discomfort and tried to continue the friendship, but it was just not working because he would still write me poems and send me weird songs."

"He started following me to my classes even though his were on the other side of school, but he wouldn't speak to me at all. It was insanely uncomfortable. This continued for weeks. He started sending me mean messages anonymously online and sending me songs with scary titles. He sent me that Smith's song The More You Ignore Me, The Closer I Get every single day, sometimes multiple times."

"Then one day at lunch he gave me a hand written poem and, I can't remember what all it said but the end was something about how he wanted to watch me get eaten alive by sharks. While friends, I had told him sharks were my biggest fear. I showed my teacher the poem and she freaked out and took it to the guidance counselor. She knew all the previous incidents so the letter made her worried. Especially how his handwriting changed when he was writing about me dying."

"I ended up getting called into a meeting with the principal, a guidance counselor, and the teacher I told. They even called my mom in and we all sat down and talked about what would be the best thing to do. The principal was really nervous he would do something crazy, so he said I should just avoid him as much as possible and be polite anytime we may interact. Basically how I was already handling it."

"I'm not sure if they ever spoke to him about it, but the last interaction I had with him still creeps me out to think about. I was up very late, and received a text from him, 'Why are you up so late? You should get ready for bed.' He had been to my place once before and I lived very close to the school. I'll always wonder if he was outside my house that night."


I may be paranoid...

"It started while I was still in high school, he would be in a few of my classes and we would occasionally see each other around town (a very small, rural town). It slowly turned into him showing up at some of my friend group's hangout spots and saying that I had inspired him to start looking into similar hobbies. We thought it was kinda weird but just brushed it off and avoided him."

"Flash forward a couple weeks into the start of summer vacation. He had found or followed me to all of my favorite places and my work even though both were sometimes towns over from our own. I would see his car at parks where I did outdoor painting, at my place of work as well as at friends' houses, and he would drive passed the house of the family I nannied for during my days on."

"I thought it was creepy and told local authorities, but they told me not to worry. This went on for the rest of high school and up until graduation. I didn't tell anyone what university I was going to and lied claiming it was one hours away from mine. He was accepted and attended there while I left for another. He found out after a semester that I wasn't there and showed up at my dorm hall."

"He tried to break in and convince me and other people in the building to just let him in. I hid out in another girl's room until my friend was able to pick me up and take me to her boyfriend's off-campus apartment. I found out he was arrested the next morning for assaulting an RA. I called and showed them the evidence I had for his persistent stalking and finally filed a restraining order."

"He just got released a few months ago and I have never been more nervous. I'm just happy my current job and living area has amazing security and they all have pictures and his information to be safe. I may be paranoid, but better safe than end up on a true-crime podcast."


From Church!

"He followed me home from church! He left long letters on my car every night for about a week. He was a lot older than me. The police spoke with him and he left town. I know how lucky I am that it was so simple. It was a small college town. I only know what the police told me, which was that they located him through the letters and the description of his car, found out he was not a resident, and told him there would be charges if he didn't move on."

"I realized he had followed me home the first day, so I parked at a different house and even walked into the back yard to try to throw him off. I didn't have a garage so when he came back to the neighborhood it wasn't hard for him to see my car and he started leaving the letters."


leave her alone...

"My wife did, it became a real problem. He was a maintenance man at the school where she taught. She was throwing out a lot of old, damaged books, he asked if could have them for his kids, of course. After that he wanted to always be there, wherever my wife was, he was always sweeping or cleaning near her room."

"Then one day in the winter, my wife got a flat right after leaving school, it was getting dark and her new best friend is there to fix it. While changing the tire, he started asking sexual questions, he wanted to know if she ever had a black man. Of course she said nothing."

"It got worse and the school administration was ignoring it, I was now going way out of my way to take her and to pick her up from school, she was scared. Then he said something to her while she was eating in the cafeteria, she lost it, she just started screaming and crying for him to leave her alone."

"They sent her home for a few days paid leave. Since the school was no help I went to see 2 school board members I knew, but not well. I told them that I had hired an attorney and would be suing the school district unless my wife felt safe. They moved the custodian to another school, but it took months before my wife felt safe. The custodian got in trouble at the next school and was arrested. We never heard from him again."


Well that is a mess of scary. How are people allowed to act out like this?

“you again?”

"I have a weird kind of related story… there is a man in my town that for the last 15 years I see him constantly, almost everywhere I go he’s there, at least 3 times a month… the grocery store, the corner store, the gas station, Walmart, the liquor store… occasionally we catch each other’s eye and look at each other like 'you again?' and kinda laugh it off."

"It has come to be a little bit of a joke where I will come home and tell my husband 'guess who I saw at the store today?' The only catch, he’s always at these places first!!! so it’s ME who looks like the stalker!"



"I worked as a secretary at an adult school when I was 18. An adult student kept bothering me taking pictures of me outside the office etc... I quit that job and got him banned from the school. Fast forward 3 years later I’m in a relationship 6 months pregnant and I’m working at a drs office."

"A police officer shows up and tells me I’ve had a private investigator on me for a few weeks but he reported his client to the police because his client said he was my husband but the PI after following me for a few weeks figured out he wasn’t and was stalking me. He went to jail for a few days never heard from him again it’s been 19 yrs... freaky a** crap."



"He wasn’t subtle about it. He threatened me by phone and email, followed a moving truck to my new apartment, ignored police instructions to stop contacting me multiple times, then contacted me through other people, showed up in random places in my new city."

"It only stopped after he got arrested for assault (on someone else) and ultimately moved to a different city, where he was again arrested for assault. That last part I only know because I was regularly looking him up on court records to see if he was free."


Be careful out there. Stay aware of the people around you.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.