People Who Remarried Their Ex Explain How They Got Back Together

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
A lost love doesn't have to stay lost. While divorce sounds like the end of a relationship, it can be the beginning of a long lasting and loving marriage. Simply poor timing and circumstances can be the deciding factors in a marriage lasting or ending, but the issues can be remedied.
Redditor u/minkymy got hear some hopeful love stories when they asked, "People who remarried an ex-spouse, why did you divorce and how did you get back together?"
20. They needed to be apart
"We started dating in high school and were married young. We 1000% were not prepared for adulting and all of the things that come with being grown up. Instead of turning to each other during hard times, we tried to do it alone. He got very sick and couldn't work and that just exacerbated everything. We fought all the time and I made a stupid decision. We just couldn't get passed what I did...
We divorced but still talked to each other almost every day. I think through our divorce we only went one month with no contact. One day we had a long phone conversation and went from there. We took our time and got to know each other again. We remarried in 2011 and neither of us regrets our divorce. We needed to be apart and figure out what we wanted in our lives and to grow up."
19. Trust in Cupid
"Many years ago, I was using OKCupid and it informed me I had a new top match. She hadn't posted a photo, but when I read her profile essay, I thought, 'Wow! She's perfect for me!'
But as I read more of her answers, some things seemed familiar, and I suddenly realized she was my ex.
I patted myself on the back for figuring that out and not messaging her, since it could have been really awkward if I did.
A few months later, I saw her in person, and we decided to try to be friends. We very quickly got back together, and now we've been happily married for 12 years. So I guess OKCupid was smarter than we were."
18. A lot of ups and downs
"Met when we were 21. Moved in, got pregnant, married, and gave birth within the year. Years pass, things got rocky and we separated. Filed for divorce. Went to court hearing and he called it off. Years pass, had a son. Got pregnant with our 3rd. School. Stress. He wants a divorce and leaves. I have our 3rd child, graduate, and we co-parent for 3 years. He wants to work things out. Emotional things happen. We get back together. Been married for almost 14 years, separated for about 4."
17. He had a midlife crisis but bounced back
"I got married when I was 23, she was 24 we had been together since I was 19. When I was 44 I had a heart attack and then had a mid life crisis soon afterwards. I wanted out of my marriage (told her I didn't love her anymore). Long story short I moved out and rented a flat, messed around for a year. Then literally woke up one morning thinking WTF had I done/was I doing. My mid life crisis lasted just over a year.
She finally agreed to give it another go after about 6 months of counseling, that was about 4 years ago. She had started divorce proceedings but they were never finalized."
16. A new addition brought them all back together
"Mum and dad married young, mum got pregnant... dad cheated... mum threw dad out. When I was 19 I got pregnant, all hormonal and stuff decided to find dad with mums blessing. Met dad. Dad asked if it's ok to contact mum. Mum says yes. They end up dating again. They got married again. Been 20 + years for second marriage. And we are a reasonably happy family no dramas .. so all worked out well"
15. They got back together when it mattered most
"I remarried my husband this year, just a few days after he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. He is a good man, and we have stayed friends throughout our prior marriage and the divorce. I was super commitment shy, and although I jumped into my 2011 marriage 100%, I wasn't ready to be a mature partner. We divorced in 2014. Fast forward, I was with him March 2019 when the doctor told him he had cancer, and it completely tore me up. I knew immediately I would marry him, but I called my priest to see what he had to say since I'm Catholic. He immediately said to do it. I love my man, and I want to give him the best going away party I can for as long as I can. So far, he went to Red Bull Rampage (bucket list), I took him to my old stomping grounds, the redwoods (bucket list), we are planning a trip to Whistler (a dream of his), and some National Parks (on the list). I am humbled by this love we now get to share."
14. Dad's just a romantic
"Father did this. Got engaged and later married a woman he had dated for less than two weeks. A few years later, they divorced. About a year or two later, they remarried. Few months later, they divorced again.
Impression I got was that he's generally a romantic and wants to be with someone. It's easy to romanticize and remember the good parts when you're wanting to be with someone, and of course, easy to dismiss or marginalize the bad."
13. It takes more than love...
"My wife and I were together seven years in our 20's. Toxic relationship.. We got divorced eventually and didn't see or speak to each other for 26 years. Found each other on fb got back together and a year later were married again. Shortly after that I remembered why I divorced her the first time and within 3 years we were divorced again. Love and time and the good memories can make you forget the cheating, lying, and addictions to gambling & alcohol. It takes more than love."
12. I'm glad they realized that their love was true
"My coworker divorced because her parents and friends convinced her that her husband only married to become a U.S. resident. They had 2 daughters together, so they were in frequent contact. After almost 2 years of being divorced they both realized that they were still in love and that her family was just spreading lies about him, so they got married again. They've been married 15 years."
11. Misery loves company
"I have not done this, but both of my sets of grandparents (maternal and paternal) divorced and remarried each other. One set after being apart for about a year, and the other after being split for more than 20.
I'm pretty sure they remarried to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives."
10. Their kids helped them reconcile
"My mom and dad married out of high school. When they were 26 they got divorced. They divorced because of the stress of three kids, my dad was in the Air Force and was deployed all the time.
They barely saw each other unless it was to trade us kids off. Then around the time my sister and I started playing sports my dad started to come around more to watch us. We lived about 6 hours away and mom let him stay at the house when needed. He went from sleeping on the couch to her bedroom within a football season. They got married again the next summer after 6-7 years apart. Been together ever since and practically do everything together."
9. They had the hard conversations
"The wife and I got in a year long fight. We married young at 22 and were not on the same page about being married. She wanted to sow her wild oats and I wanted us to start growing up and take on more responsibility.
We ultimately got divorced at my urging because I wanted to move on.
About a month after the divorce was final we started talking to each other like adults. We had some hard conversations about what wasn't working. We started dating after cautiously considering if we were frickin' crazy.
A year later we got married in Vegas. It's been 16 years since the divorce and we're happily married with 2 great kids."
8. They got remarried in Europe
"My great aunt and uncle did this. He was still suffering from the trauma of his WWII service with the marines in the pacific when she had a stillborn child and was told she'd never have kids, and things just imploded. They got divorced, my aunt traveled to Asia and the Middle East for like nine months... She came back, and he had completely changed, and they completely reconnected. Her next planned trip was Europe and she asked if he wanted to come along and his response was 'I figured they'd send me there to fight hitler, but I guess this works too.' they called my grandma from Gdansk maybe two months later to let them know they had gotten remarried in the church my great-grandparents had gotten married in."
7. In it to win it
"We never got married, but were together for 7 years. We broke up because I was planning to move out of the country after graduating (was an older student, I was 29 at that point). We were best friends and stayed best friends throughout it, though. But, circumstances made it impossible for me to see the plans through, and I went coocoo for cocopuffs and landed in the psych ward (like you do). He drove me to intake, stayed during my admitting, and came to see me every single day. He's everything good in this world. Needless to say, we got back together 2 years ago and we're in it to win it."
6. Love doesn't always make sense
"not me, but this guy who works in one of our rural offices has married and divorced the same woman literally 6 times.
Im not sure what they're logic is but whatever."
5. Over ten years later...
"My first husband and I married pretty young after college. We were generally happy, but it seemed like our lives were moving in different directions (geographically and metaphysically). We split up. We dated other people: went through the motions, mechanically-- loved other people, sure; but without the sense of destiny and certainty we had with one another.
Finally, over a decade after breaking it off, we got back together and have never been happier. Now we have the life experience to know that what we have is irreplaceably special."
4. They worked on themselves
"I dated my girlfriend for about 5 years before we split up. We had been living together but her anxiety and my depression led to a pretty terrible situation. After being apart for 1 1/2 years, we had both worked on our mental health and gotten good jobs. We both realized that we liked just talking to each other more than being with anyone else. We got married in 2017 and are still going strong"
3. It was necessary to divorce
"Not me, but my friend did. They got a divorce when their baby was under a year old. They divorced because my friend lost her job and couldn't find another that paid enough to cover transportation, child care, and even groceries. They were struggling but because they didn't meet certain poverty lines they were denied government assistance. When they divorced she said she was a single mother and they did get some assistance. They married again after her child went to school."
2. This is insane
"My stepdad's cousin divorced his wife 10+ years ago. He has one daughter with his ex.
He dated around a bit and finally found someone he liked enough to buy a house with. During the house hunting period, his daughter announces she's pregnant and she's realized she wants a traditional family, so she asks her parents to get back together. Meaning her dad would need to bail on his girlfriend, who he was about to purchase a home with.
They agreed to it!!! Her parents said okay, dad dumped his girlfriend (who is apparently very nice) right before the holidays, and grandma- and grandpa-to-be are now readily available for babysitting duties. It's crazy."
1. Married to young...
"My husband and I did.
We got married the first time after knowing each other for five months. We were young, had no idea what we wanted in life, had no idea what we had. After 5 years, we split up.
We were apart for about a year and a half. We both went through a period of growth and self reflection, and eventually we came back together. We've now been back together for six years, remarried for three."
We may not like it, but getting older is pretty inevitable.
With age may come wisdom, but it also comes with lots of responsibilities.
And some days, we're just over it.
Redditor brick_layer asked:
"What tasks are you tired of doing as an adult?"
Decisions, Decisions
"Deciding what to make for dinner."
- PortiaEss
"I would eat people kibble if it tasted good. Bachelor Chow (just add beer) needs to be a real thing."
- chaos8803
Hi, Ho, Hi, Ho
"Going to work and acting like a functional person."
- ovelanimimerkki
"Yep, I hate trying to work when I'm not emotionally stable or just exhausted. And you literally can't tell anyone or they tell you to go get a coffee which just makes the week go downhill over time."
- gg_ff_42069
Manners
"Being polite to other adults who don't deserve it."
- 25_-a
"Also known as the 'I am too old for this sh*t' phase of life."
- Zintao
Cleaning
"Cleaning the fridge. 🤢 when I find something way in the back that’s been forgotten."
- joydobson
"I finally cleaned out ours today because it was trash day, and the husband isn’t home to argue with me about how that sauce from 2015 is 'still good!!' 🤨 Now I have an empty fridge with just the bare essentials. Worth it."
- Grizelda_Gunderson
Circle of Life
"Working. Paying bills. Getting up early. Doing stuff."
- guyfromcroswell
"Agreed. Such a mundane cycle indeed."
- Emotional_Ratio_3251
Is Naked So Bad?
"Laundry grrrrr."
- FewPizza7880
"I tend to put the laundry in, hear it beep, forget about it for 6 hours then remember it needs to dry."
- marvel_is_wow
Traffic
"Anticipating the morons on the roads that change lanes without signaling."
"Or merging into 70mph traffic while doing 45..."
- haveyouseenthebridge
"Or being stuck behind those people as we're merging, I get pissed. Like speed up to the flow of traffic, being behind them merging puts me in danger too."
- Nigel_IncubatorJones
Maintenance
"Buying a house is an endless list of shit that needs fixing or improving."
- muffbiscuits
"This is one of the many reasons I bought a condo. The majority of the maintenance is somebody else’s problem. I haven’t cut grass, raked leaves or shoveled snow in almost a decade."
‐ yogaballcactus
Teeth
"Brushing my teeth. It's annoying."
- scottevil110"
"I feel this deep. It’s flossing for me."
- brick_layer
"Wait until you're in your 60s and all of a sudden the perfect teeth that never even had a cavity now all of a sudden have tiny cracks and need porcelain crowns and you have constant pain and Delta Dental only covers cleanings and x-rays and a single crown is like $1500 and they're telling you that you need four and you think, well, we don't really need two cars, I could sell my old Subaru."
- Nobody_Wins_13
Alarming
"Waking up to an alarm clock."
"I've been waking up to an alarm clock almost every day since 1985, and I'm fucking tired of it."
"I want to wake up when I'm done sleeping."
"I don't want to wake up and find that I've slept through/turned off my alarm(s) yet again, and have to choose between packing a lunch and taking a shower."
- thisbuttonsucks
What part of adulthood are you tired of?
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I would love to know how people don't fear death.
I mean, it's the end. Life will be over. That kind of sucks.
Yet there are people who find tranquility in it.
Can you teach the rest of us?
Redditor deensuk wanted to hear from everyone who has a calmness about the heading to the afterlife. They asked:
"People who are not scared of death, why?"
I have a constant fear of death. I wanna perfect the ending of "Death Becomes Her" so I can live forever.
Before
"I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however."
Full-Mulberry5020
Why now?
"Why should I be scared now of something that's only going to happen at the end of my life?"
User Deleted
"I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer."
"Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want."
Conservative_HalfWit
Death and I are good friends...
"I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia."
"Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends."
Tiny_Teach_5466
No Worries
"Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not."
Giallo_submarine
It's Over
"Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it."
MarshallApplewhiteDo
I never thought about the before much. I hope the before is quick.
The Effects
"I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralyzed. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me."
M1ssy_M3
No Terror
"It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist."
im_on-the_can
state of nonexistence...
"I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of dying. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love."
Wazula42
I'm Gone...
"Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died)."
"It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?"
SallyHeap
At Peace
"I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach."
User Deleted
Some very interesting perspectives. May it all calm peacefully and with great mercy for us all.
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Dating and the search for love and companionship... What a nightmare.
This journey plays out nothing like in the movies.
Every Prince or Princess (or everything in BTW) seems to have a touch of the psycho.
The things people say during what should be simple dinner conversation can leave a dining partner aghast.
Like... do you hear you?
Redditor detroit_michigldan wanted to discuss all the best ways to crash and burn when trying to make a romantic connection. They asked:
"You're on a date and it's going really great. What can another person say to ruin it completely?"
I once had a guy ask me if I was willing to follow him into the woods, depending on the price of the meal.
Yeah. No steak is worth that.
Plans After...
"Thanks for the ride but I have a date with someone else, I figured you wouldn't drive me if you knew I was going on a date with someone else and I really needed a ride."
"Online dating, talked to her for a while, finally got the courage to ask her out and then she said that as we got there."
iareyours
Mirror Image
“'You look just like my wife!'”
catalinachild
"I did have a guy tell me I reminded him of his son. I don’t believe English has a word to adequately describe my feelings at that time."
UnicornMagicRainbow
"That would definitely do it."
chaotica78
Third Wheel
"'Hope you don't mind if my mother joins us.'"
ofsquire
"Actually had a girl do this on a first date because she had anxiety issues. Honestly wasn’t bad except that 90% of the time she was silent and her mom talked over her."
"I didn’t mind that much and wouldn’t have minded trying again when she was more comfortable except that she was let go at the company we worked at and she deleted her social media profiles and she never responded on her number. Ah well."
Seightx
Liar
"'Hey bro aren't you gay? I made out with you last night.'"
"Random dude I've never seen before in front of my (f) date."
JHXC16
Was he lying though?
Filter Issues
"'You looked better on Tinder.'"
waqasnaseem07
"Isn’t it basic knowledge that everybody looks slightly worse than the worst picture you can find?"
no_user_ID_found
The Past
"'My ex used to do that too.'"
xxIvyOF
"Yep. I’ve definitely had two otherwise-decent-guy date-situations sour because the ex-comparisons just would not stop flowing. No woman wants to be seen as interchangeable—I’m not here to perfectly fill that ex-sized hole in your life. Focusing on the present moment and a future we could build together is a courtesy we need to grant each other in earliest dates of dating."
LarkScarlett
Powerless
"'I'm an alpha, you cant handle my top energy.'"
Midnightgay28
"I actually left a dude in the middle of dinner, in part, for saying this. I ordered an Uber under the table while pretending to listen to him. Went to the bathroom, and never came back. That was when I was young. Now I’d just say, 'How about we enjoy this meal in silence, before we head our separate ways.'”
UnicornMagicRainbow
Mommy...
"'Mother says I should be back by 9.'"
"Saying 'mother says' just feels weird."
bunnyrut
"That gives me Norman Bates vibes."
Werewolf_lover20
"'Mother says alligators are aggressive because they have an overabundance of teeth, but lack a toothbrush.'"
sodaextraiceplease
Obvs...
"'If you were going to be murdered, what method would you prefer. Purely hypothetical. Obvs.'"
Specific_Tap7296
If it looks anything like a Dateline NBC episode... RUN!
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Despite the advancement of technology rendering people left to their own devices–literally–to entertain them, there are some leisurely activities that will never go out of style.
Or so you would think.
Do people still knit to pass the time? Are people actively collecting stamps?
It depends on who's asking.
Curious to hear about hobby trends, Redditor gizehgizeh asked:
"What are once popular hobbies that are slowly dying these days?"

Before we've become conditioned to living on our phones, these activities used to keep people occupied.
Before Texting, There Was This
"Letter writing."
– littlekingMT
Literal And Tangible Joy
"Well the internet killed pen pals for sure. I do remember I had a Japanese girl for a penpal maybe back in 2007 or so. I honestly don't remember how it started, pretty sure some website, but that was a fun experience. But now I can just straight up talk to foreign people real time, lol. But yea getting a physical letter that someone took the time to write and mail still is hard to beat feelings wise."
– skyburnsred
Model Trains
"When I was growing up, every town had a model train store in it. Now I have one in region and everything else has to be bought online."
– Hairy_Effective1172
Pretty Rocks
"Don’t see anyone playing marbles anymore, I had an awesome collection in school."
– sheeple85
"I had some marbles as a kid in the 90s. My grandma got them for me and I had no idea what I was supposed to do with them. I always imagined them as a thing kids in the 40s played with."
– Ryoukugan
People Were Moving Canvases
"Paintball has been dying a slow death since 2006. Sad, really."
– hobo_recycler
Before the general population began hating clutter, collecting was once a "thing."
Precious Coins
"Coin collecting... I'm a silver/gold nut and I'm always hunting for precious metal coins. whenever I go into a shop they get all excited because 'no one under 70 collects coins anymore.'"
– ThatFishySmell99
Post It
"Stamp collecting."
– spooky_scully_mulder
"Collecting in general, really. Of course there are still prominent collectors but it's slipped more into enthusiast and niche territory than being a popular hobby that you might expect anyone to have."
– iuytrefdgh436yujhe2
What A Gem
"Rockhounding was immensely popular back in the 1950's and 1960's. Personally, I think it's a fascinating and fulfilling hobby, but when I go to a meeting at a rock and gem club, I'm usually the youngest one in the room by several decades."
– filthy_lucre
People once enjoyed making things.
Admiring The View
"Stained glass. I learned how to make it from my old man, and my junior high art class teacher also taught it. Very few artisans are still around."
– brobeanzhitler
Metal Vocation
"Black smithing."
– kenworth117
"I bought a forge to try. It’s insanely hard work, and crazy expensive. I still haven’t finished a piece."
– DSentvalue
Scrapbooking
"Yeah. I'm watching the arts and crafts stores around me completely uninstalling their racks for specialty paper. Now the only thing they have is mega packs of repeating colors/images. To boot all the inclusions like papercraft/die-cut things, washi tape, scissors, stickers, etc have gotten so expensive I would rather go buy $5 bags at value village to get an assortment of things versus buying anything new. I really, really miss yard sales for the same reasons."
– Phantasmai
I envy people who have jobs that are basically their hobbies.
Not everyone gets paid doing what they actually enjoy and have a profound level of passion for.
If they do, kudos to them.
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