People Who Remarried Their Ex Explain How They Got Back Together

It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

A lost love doesn't have to stay lost. While divorce sounds like the end of a relationship, it can be the beginning of a long lasting and loving marriage. Simply poor timing and circumstances can be the deciding factors in a marriage lasting or ending, but the issues can be remedied.

Redditor u/minkymy got hear some hopeful love stories when they asked, "People who remarried an ex-spouse, why did you divorce and how did you get back together?"

20. They needed to be apart

"We started dating in high school and were married young. We 1000% were not prepared for adulting and all of the things that come with being grown up. Instead of turning to each other during hard times, we tried to do it alone. He got very sick and couldn't work and that just exacerbated everything. We fought all the time and I made a stupid decision. We just couldn't get passed what I did...

We divorced but still talked to each other almost every day. I think through our divorce we only went one month with no contact. One day we had a long phone conversation and went from there. We took our time and got to know each other again. We remarried in 2011 and neither of us regrets our divorce. We needed to be apart and figure out what we wanted in our lives and to grow up."


19. Trust in Cupid


"Many years ago, I was using OKCupid and it informed me I had a new top match. She hadn't posted a photo, but when I read her profile essay, I thought, 'Wow! She's perfect for me!'

But as I read more of her answers, some things seemed familiar, and I suddenly realized she was my ex.

I patted myself on the back for figuring that out and not messaging her, since it could have been really awkward if I did.

A few months later, I saw her in person, and we decided to try to be friends. We very quickly got back together, and now we've been happily married for 12 years. So I guess OKCupid was smarter than we were."


18. A lot of ups and downs

"Met when we were 21. Moved in, got pregnant, married, and gave birth within the year. Years pass, things got rocky and we separated. Filed for divorce. Went to court hearing and he called it off. Years pass, had a son. Got pregnant with our 3rd. School. Stress. He wants a divorce and leaves. I have our 3rd child, graduate, and we co-parent for 3 years. He wants to work things out. Emotional things happen. We get back together. Been married for almost 14 years, separated for about 4."


17. He had a midlife crisis but bounced back

"I got married when I was 23, she was 24 we had been together since I was 19. When I was 44 I had a heart attack and then had a mid life crisis soon afterwards. I wanted out of my marriage (told her I didn't love her anymore). Long story short I moved out and rented a flat, messed around for a year. Then literally woke up one morning thinking WTF had I done/was I doing. My mid life crisis lasted just over a year.

She finally agreed to give it another go after about 6 months of counseling, that was about 4 years ago. She had started divorce proceedings but they were never finalized."


16. A new addition brought them all back together

"Mum and dad married young, mum got pregnant... dad cheated... mum threw dad out. When I was 19 I got pregnant, all hormonal and stuff decided to find dad with mums blessing. Met dad. Dad asked if it's ok to contact mum. Mum says yes. They end up dating again. They got married again. Been 20 + years for second marriage. And we are a reasonably happy family no dramas .. so all worked out well"


15. They got back together when it mattered most

"I remarried my husband this year, just a few days after he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. He is a good man, and we have stayed friends throughout our prior marriage and the divorce. I was super commitment shy, and although I jumped into my 2011 marriage 100%, I wasn't ready to be a mature partner. We divorced in 2014. Fast forward, I was with him March 2019 when the doctor told him he had cancer, and it completely tore me up. I knew immediately I would marry him, but I called my priest to see what he had to say since I'm Catholic. He immediately said to do it. I love my man, and I want to give him the best going away party I can for as long as I can. So far, he went to Red Bull Rampage (bucket list), I took him to my old stomping grounds, the redwoods (bucket list), we are planning a trip to Whistler (a dream of his), and some National Parks (on the list). I am humbled by this love we now get to share."


14. Dad's just a romantic

"Father did this. Got engaged and later married a woman he had dated for less than two weeks. A few years later, they divorced. About a year or two later, they remarried. Few months later, they divorced again.

Impression I got was that he's generally a romantic and wants to be with someone. It's easy to romanticize and remember the good parts when you're wanting to be with someone, and of course, easy to dismiss or marginalize the bad."


13. It takes more than love...

"My wife and I were together seven years in our 20's. Toxic relationship.. We got divorced eventually and didn't see or speak to each other for 26 years. Found each other on fb got back together and a year later were married again. Shortly after that I remembered why I divorced her the first time and within 3 years we were divorced again. Love and time and the good memories can make you forget the cheating, lying, and addictions to gambling & alcohol. It takes more than love."


12. I'm glad they realized that their love was true

"My coworker divorced because her parents and friends convinced her that her husband only married to become a U.S. resident. They had 2 daughters together, so they were in frequent contact. After almost 2 years of being divorced they both realized that they were still in love and that her family was just spreading lies about him, so they got married again. They've been married 15 years."


11. Misery loves company

"I have not done this, but both of my sets of grandparents (maternal and paternal) divorced and remarried each other. One set after being apart for about a year, and the other after being split for more than 20.

I'm pretty sure they remarried to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives."


10. Their kids helped them reconcile

"My mom and dad married out of high school. When they were 26 they got divorced. They divorced because of the stress of three kids, my dad was in the Air Force and was deployed all the time.

They barely saw each other unless it was to trade us kids off. Then around the time my sister and I started playing sports my dad started to come around more to watch us. We lived about 6 hours away and mom let him stay at the house when needed. He went from sleeping on the couch to her bedroom within a football season. They got married again the next summer after 6-7 years apart. Been together ever since and practically do everything together."


9. They had the hard conversations 

"The wife and I got in a year long fight. We married young at 22 and were not on the same page about being married. She wanted to sow her wild oats and I wanted us to start growing up and take on more responsibility.

We ultimately got divorced at my urging because I wanted to move on.
About a month after the divorce was final we started talking to each other like adults. We had some hard conversations about what wasn't working. We started dating after cautiously considering if we were frickin' crazy.
A year later we got married in Vegas. It's been 16 years since the divorce and we're happily married with 2 great kids."


8. They got remarried in Europe


"My great aunt and uncle did this. He was still suffering from the trauma of his WWII service with the marines in the pacific when she had a stillborn child and was told she'd never have kids, and things just imploded. They got divorced, my aunt traveled to Asia and the Middle East for like nine months... She came back, and he had completely changed, and they completely reconnected. Her next planned trip was Europe and she asked if he wanted to come along and his response was 'I figured they'd send me there to fight hitler, but I guess this works too.' they called my grandma from Gdansk maybe two months later to let them know they had gotten remarried in the church my great-grandparents had gotten married in."


7. In it to win it

"We never got married, but were together for 7 years. We broke up because I was planning to move out of the country after graduating (was an older student, I was 29 at that point). We were best friends and stayed best friends throughout it, though. But, circumstances made it impossible for me to see the plans through, and I went coocoo for cocopuffs and landed in the psych ward (like you do). He drove me to intake, stayed during my admitting, and came to see me every single day. He's everything good in this world. Needless to say, we got back together 2 years ago and we're in it to win it."


6. Love doesn't always make sense

"not me, but this guy who works in one of our rural offices has married and divorced the same woman literally 6 times.

Im not sure what they're logic is but whatever."


5. Over ten years later...

"My first husband and I married pretty young after college. We were generally happy, but it seemed like our lives were moving in different directions (geographically and metaphysically). We split up. We dated other people: went through the motions, mechanically-- loved other people, sure; but without the sense of destiny and certainty we had with one another.

Finally, over a decade after breaking it off, we got back together and have never been happier. Now we have the life experience to know that what we have is irreplaceably special."


4. They worked on themselves

"I dated my girlfriend for about 5 years before we split up. We had been living together but her anxiety and my depression led to a pretty terrible situation. After being apart for 1 1/2 years, we had both worked on our mental health and gotten good jobs. We both realized that we liked just talking to each other more than being with anyone else. We got married in 2017 and are still going strong"


3. It was necessary to divorce

"Not me, but my friend did. They got a divorce when their baby was under a year old. They divorced because my friend lost her job and couldn't find another that paid enough to cover transportation, child care, and even groceries. They were struggling but because they didn't meet certain poverty lines they were denied government assistance. When they divorced she said she was a single mother and they did get some assistance. They married again after her child went to school."


2. This is insane 

"My stepdad's cousin divorced his wife 10+ years ago. He has one daughter with his ex.

He dated around a bit and finally found someone he liked enough to buy a house with. During the house hunting period, his daughter announces she's pregnant and she's realized she wants a traditional family, so she asks her parents to get back together. Meaning her dad would need to bail on his girlfriend, who he was about to purchase a home with.

They agreed to it!!! Her parents said okay, dad dumped his girlfriend (who is apparently very nice) right before the holidays, and grandma- and grandpa-to-be are now readily available for babysitting duties. It's crazy."


1. Married to young...


"My husband and I did.

We got married the first time after knowing each other for five months. We were young, had no idea what we wanted in life, had no idea what we had. After 5 years, we split up.

We were apart for about a year and a half. We both went through a period of growth and self reflection, and eventually we came back together. We've now been back together for six years, remarried for three."