It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.
A lost love doesn't have to stay lost. While divorce sounds like the end of a relationship, it can be the beginning of a long lasting and loving marriage. Simply poor timing and circumstances can be the deciding factors in a marriage lasting or ending, but the issues can be remedied.
Redditor u/minkymy got hear some hopeful love stories when they asked, "People who remarried an ex-spouse, why did you divorce and how did you get back together?"
20. They needed to be apart
"We started dating in high school and were married young. We 1000% were not prepared for adulting and all of the things that come with being grown up. Instead of turning to each other during hard times, we tried to do it alone. He got very sick and couldn't work and that just exacerbated everything. We fought all the time and I made a stupid decision. We just couldn't get passed what I did...
We divorced but still talked to each other almost every day. I think through our divorce we only went one month with no contact. One day we had a long phone conversation and went from there. We took our time and got to know each other again. We remarried in 2011 and neither of us regrets our divorce. We needed to be apart and figure out what we wanted in our lives and to grow up."
19. Trust in Cupid
Giphy"Many years ago, I was using OKCupid and it informed me I had a new top match. She hadn't posted a photo, but when I read her profile essay, I thought, 'Wow! She's perfect for me!'
But as I read more of her answers, some things seemed familiar, and I suddenly realized she was my ex.
I patted myself on the back for figuring that out and not messaging her, since it could have been really awkward if I did.
A few months later, I saw her in person, and we decided to try to be friends. We very quickly got back together, and now we've been happily married for 12 years. So I guess OKCupid was smarter than we were."
18. A lot of ups and downs
"Met when we were 21. Moved in, got pregnant, married, and gave birth within the year. Years pass, things got rocky and we separated. Filed for divorce. Went to court hearing and he called it off. Years pass, had a son. Got pregnant with our 3rd. School. Stress. He wants a divorce and leaves. I have our 3rd child, graduate, and we co-parent for 3 years. He wants to work things out. Emotional things happen. We get back together. Been married for almost 14 years, separated for about 4."
17. He had a midlife crisis but bounced back
"I got married when I was 23, she was 24 we had been together since I was 19. When I was 44 I had a heart attack and then had a mid life crisis soon afterwards. I wanted out of my marriage (told her I didn't love her anymore). Long story short I moved out and rented a flat, messed around for a year. Then literally woke up one morning thinking WTF had I done/was I doing. My mid life crisis lasted just over a year.
She finally agreed to give it another go after about 6 months of counseling, that was about 4 years ago. She had started divorce proceedings but they were never finalized."
16. A new addition brought them all back together
"Mum and dad married young, mum got pregnant... dad cheated... mum threw dad out. When I was 19 I got pregnant, all hormonal and stuff decided to find dad with mums blessing. Met dad. Dad asked if it's ok to contact mum. Mum says yes. They end up dating again. They got married again. Been 20 + years for second marriage. And we are a reasonably happy family no dramas .. so all worked out well"
15. They got back together when it mattered most
"I remarried my husband this year, just a few days after he was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. He is a good man, and we have stayed friends throughout our prior marriage and the divorce. I was super commitment shy, and although I jumped into my 2011 marriage 100%, I wasn't ready to be a mature partner. We divorced in 2014. Fast forward, I was with him March 2019 when the doctor told him he had cancer, and it completely tore me up. I knew immediately I would marry him, but I called my priest to see what he had to say since I'm Catholic. He immediately said to do it. I love my man, and I want to give him the best going away party I can for as long as I can. So far, he went to Red Bull Rampage (bucket list), I took him to my old stomping grounds, the redwoods (bucket list), we are planning a trip to Whistler (a dream of his), and some National Parks (on the list). I am humbled by this love we now get to share."
14. Dad's just a romantic
"Father did this. Got engaged and later married a woman he had dated for less than two weeks. A few years later, they divorced. About a year or two later, they remarried. Few months later, they divorced again.
Impression I got was that he's generally a romantic and wants to be with someone. It's easy to romanticize and remember the good parts when you're wanting to be with someone, and of course, easy to dismiss or marginalize the bad."
13. It takes more than love...
"My wife and I were together seven years in our 20's. Toxic relationship.. We got divorced eventually and didn't see or speak to each other for 26 years. Found each other on fb got back together and a year later were married again. Shortly after that I remembered why I divorced her the first time and within 3 years we were divorced again. Love and time and the good memories can make you forget the cheating, lying, and addictions to gambling & alcohol. It takes more than love."
12. I'm glad they realized that their love was true
"My coworker divorced because her parents and friends convinced her that her husband only married to become a U.S. resident. They had 2 daughters together, so they were in frequent contact. After almost 2 years of being divorced they both realized that they were still in love and that her family was just spreading lies about him, so they got married again. They've been married 15 years."
11. Misery loves company
"I have not done this, but both of my sets of grandparents (maternal and paternal) divorced and remarried each other. One set after being apart for about a year, and the other after being split for more than 20.
I'm pretty sure they remarried to make each other miserable for the rest of their lives."
10. Their kids helped them reconcile
"My mom and dad married out of high school. When they were 26 they got divorced. They divorced because of the stress of three kids, my dad was in the Air Force and was deployed all the time.
They barely saw each other unless it was to trade us kids off. Then around the time my sister and I started playing sports my dad started to come around more to watch us. We lived about 6 hours away and mom let him stay at the house when needed. He went from sleeping on the couch to her bedroom within a football season. They got married again the next summer after 6-7 years apart. Been together ever since and practically do everything together."
9. They had the hard conversations
"The wife and I got in a year long fight. We married young at 22 and were not on the same page about being married. She wanted to sow her wild oats and I wanted us to start growing up and take on more responsibility.
We ultimately got divorced at my urging because I wanted to move on.
About a month after the divorce was final we started talking to each other like adults. We had some hard conversations about what wasn't working. We started dating after cautiously considering if we were frickin' crazy.
A year later we got married in Vegas. It's been 16 years since the divorce and we're happily married with 2 great kids."
8. They got remarried in Europe
Giphy"My great aunt and uncle did this. He was still suffering from the trauma of his WWII service with the marines in the pacific when she had a stillborn child and was told she'd never have kids, and things just imploded. They got divorced, my aunt traveled to Asia and the Middle East for like nine months... She came back, and he had completely changed, and they completely reconnected. Her next planned trip was Europe and she asked if he wanted to come along and his response was 'I figured they'd send me there to fight hitler, but I guess this works too.' they called my grandma from Gdansk maybe two months later to let them know they had gotten remarried in the church my great-grandparents had gotten married in."
7. In it to win it
"We never got married, but were together for 7 years. We broke up because I was planning to move out of the country after graduating (was an older student, I was 29 at that point). We were best friends and stayed best friends throughout it, though. But, circumstances made it impossible for me to see the plans through, and I went coocoo for cocopuffs and landed in the psych ward (like you do). He drove me to intake, stayed during my admitting, and came to see me every single day. He's everything good in this world. Needless to say, we got back together 2 years ago and we're in it to win it."
6. Love doesn't always make sense
"not me, but this guy who works in one of our rural offices has married and divorced the same woman literally 6 times.
Im not sure what they're logic is but whatever."
5. Over ten years later...
"My first husband and I married pretty young after college. We were generally happy, but it seemed like our lives were moving in different directions (geographically and metaphysically). We split up. We dated other people: went through the motions, mechanically-- loved other people, sure; but without the sense of destiny and certainty we had with one another.
Finally, over a decade after breaking it off, we got back together and have never been happier. Now we have the life experience to know that what we have is irreplaceably special."
4. They worked on themselves
"I dated my girlfriend for about 5 years before we split up. We had been living together but her anxiety and my depression led to a pretty terrible situation. After being apart for 1 1/2 years, we had both worked on our mental health and gotten good jobs. We both realized that we liked just talking to each other more than being with anyone else. We got married in 2017 and are still going strong"
3. It was necessary to divorce
"Not me, but my friend did. They got a divorce when their baby was under a year old. They divorced because my friend lost her job and couldn't find another that paid enough to cover transportation, child care, and even groceries. They were struggling but because they didn't meet certain poverty lines they were denied government assistance. When they divorced she said she was a single mother and they did get some assistance. They married again after her child went to school."
2. This is insane
"My stepdad's cousin divorced his wife 10+ years ago. He has one daughter with his ex.
He dated around a bit and finally found someone he liked enough to buy a house with. During the house hunting period, his daughter announces she's pregnant and she's realized she wants a traditional family, so she asks her parents to get back together. Meaning her dad would need to bail on his girlfriend, who he was about to purchase a home with.
They agreed to it!!! Her parents said okay, dad dumped his girlfriend (who is apparently very nice) right before the holidays, and grandma- and grandpa-to-be are now readily available for babysitting duties. It's crazy."
1. Married to young...
Giphy"My husband and I did.
We got married the first time after knowing each other for five months. We were young, had no idea what we wanted in life, had no idea what we had. After 5 years, we split up.
We were apart for about a year and a half. We both went through a period of growth and self reflection, and eventually we came back together. We've now been back together for six years, remarried for three."
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Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.