People Who Left Stressful Jobs For Their Mental Heath Share Their Experiences
A truly stressful job can destroy your self-esteem and confidence. It's been said that people don't necessarily leave jobs, they leave management.
Indeed, bad management can leave you feeling unmoored and unsupported.
There has been a wider conversation about hostile work environments over the last couple of years now that the COVID-19 pandemic has afforded many people the opportunity to switch careers and/or call it quits with their awful jobs.
No job is worth your mental and physical health.
People shared their stories with us after Redditor yourmaeve asked the online community:
"Redditors who changed careers from a high paying but stressful job to a lower paying but low stress job, was it worth it, why or why not?"
"My wife and I sold the house..."
"I didn't make the switch until I was 50. Something about turning 50 sparked a change in me. I previously had high blood pressure issues and I was having stress related fights with the people I love. I started to hate myself. Something had to change."
"My wife and I sold the house in the city and moved up to the high country. I took a low-paying job with a small startup company. I wanted to make a difference (and not just make an income)."
"EVERYTHING about my life got better almost instantly. Do I miss the money? Sometimes, but not often actually. The quality of life is way more important for us. We often comment/joke about how we still feel like were on a vacation."
Congrats on the change! It sounds like you guys are much happier and healthier to boot.
"The check is smaller..."
"Yep. The check is smaller, but comparable to what I would have lost in a divorce in a couple years."
"About a 45% pay cut, but my "real" labor hours dropped from like 65 and permanent on-call status to about 35 hrs or so and after 4pm, I CANNOT BE CONTACTED... worth it. I'm genuinely happier, healthier, and family life is now GREAT instead of slowly decaying."
Congratulations on saving your marriage and family.
"I left after 30 years..."
"Had an IT job. On call 24x7x365 - never knew what situation would come up. Phone would ring and it would make my blood pressure rise. I left after 30 years as they made me part owner, but God that was stressful."
Glad you got out! 30 years is a hell of a long time.
"Although what's interesting..."
"100%. Although what’s interesting is once I didn’t hate my job I did a much better job advancing and now I make about what I did back then."
It makes sense though that you would naturally just do a better job if you aren't hating your life.
"I'd rather be broke..."
"Yes. I'd rather be broke than suicidal."
Amen to that. Glad you're still here with us.
"It has come with some sacrifices..."
"Yes. It has come with some sacrifices, like I can't do the lavish vacations or buy the super fancy cars that all my neighbors do/have, but I also get to be at home every night and weekend. I learned through a stretch of rapid ascent up the corporate ladder that I don't care about that kind of ambition and got super burned out. I'm finally healing."
Healing is necessary. It's great that you've found what's important to you.
"Money is temporary..."
"Most definitely it was. Money is temporary but the peace of mind and much better family life are everything to me."
Peace of mind? A better family life? It sounds like you won the lottery. Well done!
"I used to rake in paychecks..."
"Yes. Yes. Yes."
"I took a 25% base pay-cut 4 years ago to escape a terrible situation at a terrible company. My new job was salaried, no overtime pay but also no real expectation of overtime. No regrets."
"I used to rake in paychecks that started with a $5xxx, net, with overtime but the negative effects on my health made it pointless. If you're working crazy overtime for too long, you're going to wind up in the hospital, especially if it's a high-stress job in a hostile work environment."
"I gave up the overtime, the title, and the base pay for a far better job elsewhere. To be honest, I haven't really even noticed a difference financially since I have far fewer medical expenses nowadays."
You have your health! That's huge. Kudos for escaping such a toxic work environment.
"I didn't really change companies..."
"I didn't really change companies but I had my middle management position eliminated (60+ hour weeks, stress) but was assigned to another position with about a $20k decrease. But it was 35 hour weeks, low stress, less meetings and when the day was over I was done: no after hour calls, no late nights."
"It was awesome and I ended up being glad I didn't leave for another company and another management position. I have since moved on but i wouldn't go back to a stress filled life."
That's great you were able to stay in the same company but find something right for you. I feel like a lot of people have to completely change their field to something different in order to find what works for them.
"Have since moved up..."
"I used to be a healthcare administrator for private practices. High stress, but pretty good pay. Got into IT at the very bottom. Low stress, low pay."
"Have since moved up and my pay has returned to previous levels. Some stressful days, however my worst day now is like an average day in my previous job. Most days are just fine and the good days are very good."
"I'm not high profile anymore and I don't have to wear a tie anymore. It has been worth the pain of losing 70% of my salary for several years. I sleep better and don't dread going to work everyday."
Sleeping better is the goal! Well done.
No job is worth sacrificing your health. Remember that the next time you feel like you're going to lose it and your management team isn't being supportive. You absolutely deserve better.
Have some stories of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
Reddit user thann3 asked: 'What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?'
Part of the fun of dating and being in a relationship are the unexpected, impulsive moments.
What's funny is how these could be equally arousing moments, too, even if they're moments that we never expected to make us feel that way.
Redditor thann3 asked:
"What is the weirdest thing your partner did that turned you on?"
"When he backs into a parking spot, he puts his right hand on the back of my seat when he looks behind him."
"Hnnnngggggghhh. Gets me going and I don't know why."
"Every time someone mentions this, I am reminded of the time I did it and accidentally backhanded this girl in the face."
That Reading Voice
"In high school, this girl had a soothing voice. Every time she read out loud, I had goosebumps and she gave me butterflies."
"I can’t think of anything weird my husband did, but the first night of our honeymoon, we were talking about the wedding and our future, and I started crying because I was so happy (and told him that’s why I was crying)."
"He was smiling and gave me a kiss and then whispered, 'I don’t know why, but you crying just now turned me on.'"
"Lol (laughing out loud), it didn’t turn me on, but it did make me laugh, and I thought it was weird-cute."
"On the first date, he put my seatbelt on. It surprised me because I heard of men opening doors for their dates but not putting their seatbelt on. It just showed a very caring yet masculine side of him."
"The tension of knowing we wanted of each other but agreed to take it slow just made me go feral in my head."
"A year and a half later, he still does it to this day. He even gets 'mad' when I don't let him. I still blush when he does it, especially when other people are in the car with us."
"It wasn't my girlfriend, but over a Skype call maybe a decade ago when I was a teenager, I was on a call with a female friend I had the hots for."
"I casually mentioned that I had a thing for girls in glasses."
"She gasped, told me to wait there, and scurried downstairs. About 20 seconds later, she rushed back up, jumped onto her bed with her jaw resting on her fists, and low and behold, she was wearing glasses."
"We laughed, I didn't know what to say, but that was the cutest and sexiest way of letting me know she liked me."
"I know it sounds weird, but her breath is intoxicating. It’s naturally somewhat sweet, and of course, she thinks I’m crazy."
"Edit: We know it’s not diabetes, ketosis, or any other medical issue. We’ve been together for over 30 years and it’s just good chemistry."
That Deep Stare
"An ex-girlfriend of mine looked at me in a certain way every now and again that just did something to me, like a bit of a stare deep into my soul knowing she wants all of me. Every day I hope someone will recreate and enhance it."
The Perfect Sweater
"When she wears THAT sweater, I'm powerless."
"Can someone link a pic of this type of sweater? Asking for a friend."
The Sleeve Roll Trick
"My boyfriend rolled up his sleeves kind of slowly the other day, and I felt like I couldn’t hear anything for like a solid minute, lollllll (laughing out loud)."
The Corniest Jokes
"This man will make the corniest joke in the whole world, and then his whole face lights up as he giggles at it. Gets me every time."
The Perfect Wine Pour
"We had our honeymoon in Italy and he noticed the waitstaff poured wine really beautifully, so he replicated it. Now I have him pour all my drinks for me."
"For some reason, the way his wrist moves when he pours really gets me going."
Specific Arm Movements
"When he's working on something mechanical and he starts getting serious, he'll flip his cap backward. It's an absent-minded thing and F**K is it sexy. And when he's working overhead, the way his arms flex. Watching him lift things into our attic is an instant turn-on. It's f**king weird, but godD**N does it do it for me."
"Also when I wear something sexy or low cut and he's not expecting it, he'll stutter if he's mid-sentence. We'll be talking from another room for instance, and I'll toss on a revealing shirt and walk in there and he'll lose his train of thought. Or shake his head like he needs to clear it. Your man making you feel sexy is the ultimate sexy move."
Love Language: Physical Touch
"It's the gentle physical touch in public. That little 'Love you' touch as they scurry away to do a thing. Those random touches turn me on so quickly."
Totally Saved It
"He fixed the shower in my truly horrible, low-rent grad school apartment and changed the oil on my car. Not sure why, but that just did things to me."
"If you were to ask my husband, self-deprecating humor would probably be his answer."
"On our first date, he and I went to see this stage production of 'Jekyll and Hyde.' At the bar, they were selling these cute little shots of Bailey's/Kahlua, with each liquor on separate sides of the glass. Me, being incredibly graceful in all things always, completely dumped the Bailey's half onto my blouse."
"His eyes got all big, not sure how to react, and I just sighed, turned to him, and reintroduced myself like, 'Hi, I'm (my name). This kind of thing happens a lot.'"
"He busted up laughing, I ordered a scotch, and we've been together for the past 11 years."
"Exist. My girlfriend could literally just stand there and I could and would get a chill down my spine."
While we were expecting these responses to be, well, weird, most of these were actually pretty cute or heartwarming.
Sometimes when it comes to relationships and intimacy, something can feel weird simply because it's unexpected, but maybe the unexpected moments are among the best parts of the relationship!
Unlike introverts who tend to shy away from engaging in random discussions, those who are comfortable–or too comfortable–in their own skin love to get all chatty.
That doesn't mean they have anything significant to say.
"What’s the weirdest thing someone casually told you as if it were totally normal?"
People whom you don't know tend to overshare as these Redditors experienced.
A High Request
"A story from a friend - in Colorado, someone once asked, 'Could you watch my wolves, I can pay you in weed.'"
"There's a lot to unpack in that question!"
"You don't unpack wolves, you keep them together."
"Husband (30) and I were pushing our shopping cart out of the grocery store when a random man (who honestly looked like dumbledore) looked at my husband and said 'take my hat, you're gonna need it, you'll be bald very soon.' Obviously my husband didn't take it. It was super odd of him to say because my husband had a FULL head of hair."
"Three months later, my husband was diagnosed with a condition that made him lose all of his hair. Weird coincidence."
"A guy once told me how he loved the feeling of wearing casts, so he'd put casts on himself- for days or weeks on end. Even if it meant he couldn't drive and would be stuck at home the entire time. He'd use vacation time just to wear full leg & arm casts."
A homophobic guy I know: 'Being gay is a choice.'"
"I said something like - ok, choose to be gay for a day, an hour, a single minute if you can."
"Guy - That's easy, I'm attracted to men all the time, I just choose to only like girls because I'm not gay."
"Me - Ummm..."
"Once, an older woman came up to me on the street, took hold of my wrists and simply said 'they ripped out my afterbirth', and then carried on walking."
"It's strange to grab strangers. But one day in Walmart, my granny walked ahead of me, and reached to grab me to show me something, without looking and she was pulling on an old lady's arm obliviously, and the old lady's eyes were like O.O."
"My grandma didn't even apologize, she just let go and yelled at me to stay closer."
"I was getting my hair done this last weekend by my daughter at her cosmetology school. One of her fellow students was excited to meet me. She talked nonstop and eventually told me that she has hemorrhoids and that she has her husband push them back in. So much TMI from a stranger!"
You never know about the personal lives of people you see on a regular basis.
"I had a college professor on the first day of class say that she is obsessed with Q-tips and cleaning her ears and that her family has to limit her to 3 a day-"
Here's The Story...
"That they have 6 kids, all with different dads & each dad is in prison."
"I once had a coworker who had seven kids with five different women and he'd constantly complain about how most of his paycheck went to child support. You uh, dug your own grave, pal. I'm really not sympathetic to your plight."
It's the end of the world as we know it.
End Of Civilization
"I know a guy, we don't talk often but due to business we cross paths on occasion. More or less every time we talk he asks if I'm ready for the total societal collapse coming next week, or Tuesday, or at the end of the month.. and so on."
"I just tell him that it's not gonna happen; he usually then asks about my "crystal ball" so I remind him that I've been right every time."
"I went to a ComicCon type event in my city years ago(Walking Dead was a new show, first season for reference) and went to a panel about zombies. They talked about historical zombie lore, the first zombie movies, and the exciting first season of the new show Walking Dead, with some actors on the panel. When they opened it up to the audience for questions one of the first ones was, 'what kind of zombies do you predict we’ll have in a real zombie apocalypse? (Fast vs slow)'…panelists don’t really know how to answer, each gives their personal favorite or worst case scenario. Then we get to, 'What do you think the timeline is for the start of a coming zombie apocalypse?' Panelists are kind of like….? Talk about how things usually play out fiction."
“'No, but exactly WHEN do you think we’ll need to be fully prepared for zombies in real life?' Like, guys, these are actors and media studies academics, first of all they don’t have the level of belief you do and second, the people you should be asking about this stuff are probably biologists."
Whenever I feel threatened by a homeless person who is pressuring me to hand over them cash, I tell them, "I''m allergic to corn."
The random phrase throws them and in the brief moment they assess what they heard I'm afforded more time to distance myself from them.
It always works, especially when they realize I'm all kinds of crazy and not worth targeting.
Generally speaking, if we have a cough, headache, or runny nose, we assume it's nothing to worry about in the long run and don't bother seeing a doctor.
Most of the time, this proves to be the case, as our ailments and symptoms tend to go away after a few days.
Other times, however, what we thought was a minor illness ended up being more serious than we could have possibly imagined.
In some cases, had we gone to the doctor any later, we might not have lived to tell the tale.
Redditor mothermurder88 reached out to the Doctors of Reddit to hear shocking stories of minor illnesses that turned out to be far more serious, leading them to ask:
"Doctors of Reddit - what is your craziest story where a patient present with mild symptoms thinking it was nothing and it turned out to be a serious life or death situation?"
The Cause Of Severe Back Pain...
"My dad woke up with severe back pain one morning after not doing anything strenuous the weeks/days leading up to it."
"My mom flipped her sh*t and finally put her foot down that he had to go to the doctor after him putting off going to a doctor for years even for a routine check-up."
"That appointment showed a broken rib from a huge tumor on his spine, along with tumors around his buttocks/pelvis and upper back."
"Diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer."
"5 years and 100 treatments later he’s still kicking it."- vulpesvulpex
An Antacid Won't Cut It...
"Saw a patient with minor cardiovascular symptoms and a slight pain in his upper back."
"The senior debated back and forth whether it would make sense to run a CT to rule out anything more serious."
"She finally decided to do it and it turned out he had a massive aortic dissection and was basically wheeled right into the OR."- Beneficial-Bee7765
A Parent's Worst Nightmare
"6 weeks old."
"He was also 6 weeks premature."
"Only symptoms at the time of me bringing him to the ER was inconsolable crying and wouldn’t drink his breast milk."
"Was told by others that I was just being a paranoid first time mom…he probably has gas or was colic."
"My instincts just told me otherwise."
"Brought him to the ER."
"Triage asks me what my concerns are."
"I told them he won’t stop crying and I can get him to eat."
"A couple hours later my 6 week old baby coded blue and went into respiratory failure."
“'Code blue pediatrics' will forever be the most haunting thing I ever heard."
"Since he was so tiny they were having incredibly difficulty intubating him."
"Was being kept alive in between attempts with that bag thingy (unsure what it’s called) and compressions."
"His diagnosis was late on set group b strep, sepsis, and bacterial meningitis."
"Had I not brought him in when I did and waited, my son would not be alive today."
"So yea…listen to your instincts, you have them for a reason."- PokemomOnTheGo
Mints Won't Cut It...
"A man came to the hospital because his wife always complained about his bad breath."
"Long story short, I met him because they consulted my department when the tissue biopsy came back as esophageal cancer."- TeamMiserable
Never Underestimate The Importance Of A Check Up
"I'm a dentist."
"New pt came in with what he thought was a mild ache in his teeth."
"Thought it was a toothache."
"Hadn't seen a dentist in years."
"Took a radiograph and the jaw bone around the teeth looked strange."
"Had him see an oral surgeon that day."
"Turned out was a very aggressive metastatic bone cancer and died a few weeks later."- jakeology_101
A Second Opinion Never Hurts
"I’m a nurse, not a doctor, but we had a guy come in years ago asking for a medication to 'help him stop sweating'.”
"He said he had had a sore throat for about a week, went to a walk in clinic, was diagnosed with strep throat and put on antibiotics, but he was so sweaty and just wanted a break from it."
"He looked pale and was indeed sweaty, so we took him back and ran some blood tests."
"His white blood count was the highest I’ve ever seen and he was diagnosed with leukaemia."
"We sent him to another hospital for immediate treatment, but we were informed he died literally hours after arriving. Incredibly sad, I couldn’t believe it."- madicoolcat
"I am a nurse, so naturally my mother called me one day when she had strange symptoms."
""'Earlier today, I had this feeling like there was a squirrel running around in my belly'."
"I reassured her that it was probably gas."
"It happened again a few days later when she was in the car with me."
"Something made me take her right to the emergency room."
"The doctor evaluated her and basically accused her of making things up."
"I asked for a different doctor, because she is not a complainer or a drug seeker."
"Turns out it was a malignant brain tumor (glioblastoma) that was manifesting itself as abdominal seizures."
"They said she had 1-2 years to live."
"It is now 7 years since surgery, chemo, and radiation and she is still alive."- feistynurse50
Some Things Need To Be Seen
"Patient’s wife called."
"Patient had a temperature of 98.6."
"No other symptoms."
"I explained that was a normal temperature but the wife said 'that’s a fever for him'.”
"She said she felt like something was wrong, despite no other symptoms."
"I told her that I respect that and that if she feels something is wrong she should get him checked out in the ER."
"The ER doctor called four hours later and said they did all they could do for him but he died of sepsis."
"He appeared to be normal when he got there but rapidly declined."
"That gave me a new appreciation that we truly can’t evaluate someone thoroughly over a telephone."- DisastrousNet9121
The Cause is More Important Than The Symptom
"8 year old girl gets brought in complaining about back pain she'd had for 3 months, several different doctors had given her painkillers to no avail."
"After about 5 minutes I asked her if she had any problems going to the toilet, she says it's 'foamy' when she pees."
"She made a full recovery, and from what I know is in her 20s now, but to this day I hate how she'd been suffering for 3 months and no other doctor had bothered to even ask any more questions as to why an 8 year old girl was getting severe back pain."- PalpitationAdorable2
Never Fault A Doctor For Being Thorough
"Still in school and I was not present for this patient’s initial admission but rather her clinic follow up."
"However, patient was healthy 50-something year old who had an extended nosebleed after a long hike."
"It wouldn’t stop so they went to ER to get it cauterized/impacted (happens all the time)."
"Anyway, they did a CT scan as protocol and discovered she had a 20+ cm tumor on her uterus that was wrapping around her right kidney."
"She was immediately referred to a serious academic hospital and had a specialized oncology surgeon remove it."
"Amazingly, They got it completely removed without even having to damage the kidney."
"She had an amazing outcome and about a half a foot scar running around her abdomen from the surgery."
"I do not believe the CT scan was due to the nosebleed itself but rather I imagine as they looked further into her blood work and coagulation studies they found something that warranted further work up."- KocoaFlakes
Most of the time, a cold is just a cold, and an achy foot is just an achy foot.
Even so, should you have even the slightest bit of doubt, there is no shame in consulting your doctor about it.
As doing so may turn out to be a literally life-saving decision.
When it comes to romantic relationships, it's a lot harder to maintain a relationship than it is to start one. And unfortunately, it's all too easy to end that relationship.
A lot of things can end a relationship, and sometimes, it could be as simple as a single comment. Sometimes it's so hilariously stupid that you can't fathom being with the person any longer. Other times, the person says something so cruel that you know it's time to run. And sometimes, the comment isn't even necessarily bad -- just ill-timed.
Redditors know all about this and are ready to share.
It all started when Redditor AdditionalDentist100 asked:
"What's something you confessed to your partner that ended your relationship?"
"Not me, but someone I know was finally told that her husband was faking his English heritage, background/upbringing in England and fake accent. Dude kept it up for years, eventually admitted that it was all a lie and that he grew up on West Coast."
"I would think that was a lie but there are people who have faked being a 9/11 survivor. Apparently this type of stuff happens more frequently then I'd imagine."
Oh, The Humanity
"That I didn't rinse off the Mac and cheese noodles. This isn't even a joke it's a true story."
"They were done cooking and I didn't rinse them off. And yes this was a break up waiting to happen I guess lol."
"It says right on the box not to rinse them."
"The starch is good for the sauce. Dodged a bullet, I'd rather die alone than eat sh*tty mac & cheese."
The Past Is Not The Past
"Didn't happen to me, but a guy I knew married a girl I knew (both a bit older than me) and everything seemed great. However, they were at a party and someone mentioned that the guy used to smoke weed in high school (he admitted it, didn't think it was a big deal). She divorced him a month later, claiming that she couldn't forgive him for smoking weed. 😳"
"There had to be something else going on with her because this is so ridiculous. It's not even something he was currently doing."
"I didn’t want us to move in together with 6 other relatives."
Three Words, Eight Letters
"I believe it was "I love you.""
"How f**king dare you!"
"Oh yeah, I was out of line."
And She Communicated
"I wanted better communication sooo she broke up with me."
"Loud and clear."
"I said, while crying because he got angry with me at a restaurant, that “I am sometimes afraid to tell you how I feel because I’m afraid of how you’ll react.” And he said, “well, thats f**king pathetic.”"
"My partner had a habit of starting a convo by asking how I felt about something, then would criticize me for feeling what I felt. It always ended up being a debate about why I felt the way I did. It was never okay for me to feel sad, worried, scared, etc."
"Over time I started to feel anxious when he’d ask questions, and purposely responded vaguely, or just straight up said that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing (which would incite anger or more judgment)."
"Eventually my response became exactly that. A teary “I don’t know if I want to share because I’m worried about how you’ll react/respond” and his responses were along the lines of “that’s stupid” “you’re ridiculous” “don’t be an idiot” “seriously?”"
"I don’t know if it’s because I got so used to it, or from being distracted by all the other bigger things in the relationship…but for some reason I didn’t even notice that this was another bad thing until reading this comment. It was just…normal."
Looks Always Matter
"It’s not necessarily what I confessed, but I showed him my picture from 8th grade and he couldn’t handle that I used to look like I did in 8th grade."
"If I knew that I had to peak in middle school I would have at least plucked my eyebrows 🥴"
""Sorry babe, you just weren't hot as a middle schooler. Gotta end it here.""
"True story. I confessed that I wanted to do more for her. I thought I was neglecting her and working too much."
"That next week, she sat me down and told me that I was threatening her independence and that she needed a week to think about us. The week after that, she broke up with me."
"I later got the real reason from her former best friend. She never had a guy who wanted “all in” like I did and panicked."
"At the time I was destroyed. LOL I thought I was going to marry that woman. Turns out I was one woman off and my next relationship would turn into my current family. So all’s well that ends well."
Better This Way
"Broke down crying during a more realistic war movie. She told me to suck it up."
"After she confronted me for drinking too much I finally sought VA disability. Diagnosed with depression, PTSD, anxiety, among other things. Bills started pouring in and I told her we can’t afford certain luxury things because I was the sole breadwinner. I said I felt like I was drowning and my head is slowly slipping under the surface. She told me to “figure it out.”"
""So, I did. We divorced. And I’m much more happy and no longer on the train of “be a man and tighten your boot straps.” I got help and know that it’s okay to do so."
"So much easier to keep your head above water without the anchor around your neck."
The Cards Don't Lie
"That I didn’t believe in astrology and tarot cards. She then said her tarot cards told her to break up with me. Sure dodged a bullet there."
"The tarot cards were right! And still you don’t believe!"
Let's Hear It For The Boy
"I didn’t confess, I just went to a couple bars with her to dance. She left me because “YOU CAN’T DANCE!” Of all the things that she could’ve said that was the weirdest reason ever. Like, I had no response. I was 28. I’m happily married for 22 years now to someone who I constantly do bad dancing for because she thinks it’s hilarious. I mean, since I was told I can’t dance, I developed a habit of dancing badly when celebrating ANYTHING. It’s a real crowd pleaser. I am loved for my bad dancing now."
I can't dance either! But this is exactly why we all need to find someone who loves us for our quirks, not despite them.