Do you ever do that thing where you drop insane life facts about yourself, and then never mention it again? I know I sure do. We all have those weird facts about ourselves that no one believes. Here are some of the best ones.
u/catbraithwaite asked: What are people shocked to learn about you?
Thank goodness for bendy bones.
That as a 1-2 year old I ran at a window, shoved the screen out, and fell two stories onto a bed of rocks head first.
Doc said the only reason I survived was because I was still young enough for my bones to bend rather than break so my neck didn't snap. I lost a tooth though.
That's a colorful history.
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I'm a quadruplet. It's an interesting life.
My mom is 60 and my dad is like 75 I think. Before all of us he married and divorced the same woman twice, all before he met my mom. I also have a step-brother from my dads first marriage. Another interesting tidbit for all of you nice people.
I have the opposite problem...
Nobody believes I'm not bisexual or gay, whenever they first meet me. Seriously, the amount of people that have insisted I am gay is absurd. I'm not sure what exactly in my demeanor gives the impression that I'm gay, but it is what it is.
It's more common than you think.
I'm left handed. Everyone is always surprised at the fact that I'm left handed, even if I've known the person for years.
Most of the time, I just casually bring up the fact that I am and people are so surprised. Sometimes, people actually notice it and exclaim: 'You're left handed?!?' Yes buddy, I'm left handed...
There's no rush.
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The fact that I never kissed a girl. Really, every time I tell people I never had a girlfriend they say "it's okay, you are just 19, your moment will come", but when I say I never kissed a girl everyone remains shocked af. I don't know why.
I hear ya. 25, never had a boyfriend or kissed anyone. Co-workers were shocked and asked me why and I said I was never really interested in putting myself out there and am just trying to concentrate on my career at the moment. They usually follow up with the usual "you better find someone fast! Pregnancy gets tougher when you're older!"
People always assume I want kids. And even if I want kids I still won't have them unless I'm financially, emotionally, and mentally stable.
Pork products aren't for everyone.
I don't like bacon. I tried it many times and I just don't like it.
My first instinct was to not like you, but then I realized that your dislike means more bacon for me, so you're cool.
Ugh.
That I'm in my final year of college/university, my country has its racist aspects as it is a very bicultural/diverse country, as people of my ethnicity not considered exactly "intelligent" or become very successful here.
When people ask "oh, what do you study?" And I say "law and criminal justice" the look on their faces says it all. "Oh, really?! Interesting, first year?" "Fourth year" and then their demeanor changes rapidly.
What an exchange.
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I'm a 46 year old virgin.
I loved your movie.
I'm 6 years older than that guy, it's disconcerting.
That's annoying.
That I'm older than they think I am.
I'm almost 30, but constantly get told by strangers that I look like I'm 15-18.
It's okay sometimes, but getting ID'd for every little thing is super annoying. Particularly since I'm pretty certain I don't look like a child anymore.
I could understand if I was acting like a child and dressed like one, but I was buying some groceries the other day and talking to the cashier about Christmas shopping and why it sucks, how I think I'll just get everyone stuff from the Pound shop because my gas bills are too high in winter.
She gave me the weirdest look and said,
"Doesn't your mother deal with that stuff? You should just be worrying about school right?"
Explaining to her that I was almost 30 was a painful experience, she refused to believe me till I showed her my ID.
This happens far too often.
Interesting.
I have a disability to my arms (basically look like a T-Rex: Thalidomide) but I can drive with my feet and have had a license for 15 years.
This is the first that I found to be surprising, mostly because it sounds interesting. I hope you don't mind my asking, but how do you have it set up?
Hi, no I don't mind at all. It's an automatic so right foot controls the pedals. Left foot goes into a stirrup attached to a disk on the floor that turns the wheel.
Where's the fire?
"Impatience in situations where it should be just universally understood that you need patience".- c7hu1hu.
Positions of power.
"I will have you fired!"- Vergo27.
"Generally just leaving something for someone else to deal with."- Splatty_boi_420.
Season 3 Reaction GIF by The SimpsonsGiphySorry, but I was here first.
"People who cut in line."- Chad_Farthousse.
"People who ignore lines and cut in the front, like their time is more important than every other person patiently queueing."- ofsquire.
Organized Crime Nbc GIF by Law & OrderNo one loves a tattletale.
“I’ll call my dad and tell him what you did!”- ROAM300.
Ever heard of quid pro quo?
"When they do something to you and think it’s fine but when you do it in return and they freak out."- Silvero129.
Name your price.
"I work as a ticket seller for a ski resort."
"My favorite entitled person is the guy who, upon finding out that the kid's ski lesson was sold out, offered to pay extra if I would kick someone else's kid out so his kid could have a spot."- Floranagirl.
Hustling Music Video GIFPerhaps one of the most obvious ways to unwittingly show off your entitlement?
By being oblivious to how entitled you are.
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Redditor MrMadJoker wanted to know the most creative ways to describe people who lack a few IQ points.
They asked:
"What's your favorite euphemism for a dumb person?"
"You're missing a few pieces of the puzzle."
Said to me from my Geometry teacher. Now I know what he meant.
And... he was right.
Cents
"I could give them a penny for their thoughts and I'd get change back."
hopefulsite126
tyler labine penny GIF by HULUGiphyThe Cells
"He's got 2 brain cells left, and they're fighting for 3rd place."
Striking_Yoghurt_690
"One more neuron and he'd have a synapse."
Bad Wheel
"The wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead."
ofsquire
"My old english teacher used to say 'I can smell the hamster burning.'"
cardew-vascular
"Bruh how u gonna do hamsters like that. Im dead 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"
Mulberry0
YOU
"You're the reason we have warning labels."
ofsquire
"My bosses comment about my non-too bright coworker 'you can’t get mad at her- she’s the reason shampoo has directions and she probably still f**ked it up…'”
Smoopiebear
"You see? Because of me, they have a warning label."
WantToBeBetterAtSex
season 1 s1 GIF by Dream Corp LLCOk... some of this is some good comedy.
Or Puppet...
"I'm an American, but I love when British folks call people Muppets. For a long time Europe has led the way in insult innovation, and I think it's time we caught up."
JonSnow31391
The Muppet Show Muppets GIFGiphyVanilla?
"Less useful than a chocolate teapot."
Pokeybumfun
"My Physics teacher used to say 'more pointless than a chocolate fireguard' whenever we had pencils that were too blunt for graph drawing hahaha."
ElegantEagle13
"German version of that is 'dumber than a piece of bread.'"
00192737292
I Like Turkey
"Shouldn't be left in charge of a ham sandwich."
accomplished_loaf
"I had a college professor who had met Gaddafi (God have mercy on him), the late dictator of Libya, and his impression was 'it would've been a shame to put that lunatic in charge of 10 chickens.'"
thefuzzybunny1
"Lol... for some reason this reminds me of Gordon Ramsay saying on Kitchen Nightmares that he wouldn’t trust a guy to run his bath, let alone his restaurant 😅."
thxitsthedepression
No Top Floor
"Your elevator doesn't go to the top floor. You're as sharp as a marble. You'd be stuck for an answer at hello (that's from Classy Freddie Blassie you pencil necked geeks)."
ferox965
"People tell me my elevator doesn't go the whole way to the top floor but I don't even HAVE an elevator."
"People tell me that too! We should go buy one~"
one_angry_custodian
Space
"My grandpa says: 'A lot of space between them ears.' Which is my absolute favorite, because a lot of people don't get it at first and just enforces the meaning."
Blobfish_Blues
Excited Aww GIF by TikTokGiphyNot all of us are going to break IQ records. That's ok. But these descriptions are funny.
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