Long-Haired Men Describe The Times They Were Mistaken For A Woman
Long beautiful locks are something I've always wanted to have. In fact, a few years back I tried to grow out my hair, but it was a disaster. It took a year to grow three stringy inches.
I've always thought that dudes with glorious manes had it made. But apparently they suffer from "identity" issues, not of their own making. Let's discuss...
Redditoru/mistermika06wanted all the boys out there to share a few tales of mistaken identity by asking:
Long-haired men on reddit, what are the weirdest encounters where someone has mistaken you as a woman?
I've never mistaken a gender from behind. I also don't just assume anything until I have a full profile. Remember when Brad Pitt sported those gorgeous blonde waves of Heaven? There was no mistaking him from behind.
Not Againlong haired man GIFGiphy
"I was washing my hands in a public restroom and an old man walked in an said "Oh sorry Miss" and scurried out before opening the ladies room and I heard him yell "OH not again." Maybe not the most weird but I could not stop laughing."
"Years ago I was cat called by a passing car of bros who yelled, "nice butt!" I wasn't built back then like I am now, but younger, skinnier me still had a damn dumptruck."
"This has been my fear recently. I over developed my lower body a few years ago so everything below the waist is seriously built. I haven't had a haircut since before the pandemic and add a mask covers my facial hair I notice I get looks from men and women when I walk into stores."
Back in the Day
"Back when I was 10 or something, I was in the local YMCA swimming pool minding my own business. Suddenly these two girls maybe 3 or 4 years older than me ask "excuse me, shouldn't you be wearing a shirt or something?" Then they heard my voice when I responded, and started cracking up, as did I."
"Someone grabbed my butt at the bar in a nightclub. I'm 6'3 and have pretty broad shoulders so I'm not sure how drunk they were to make that mistake, just cause I have longish curly blonde hair. I turned around and he apologised and said he thought I was a girl as if that would have somehow been ok. Opened my eyes to the kind of harassment women must get all the time at a club."
bad spinjimmy fallon lol GIFGiphy
"I was in college at a party. Hair down, was wet from a shower. Some frat dude walked up behind me, grabbed me by the butt and spun me around. "You want a piece of this!?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth. To this day I've never seen a more horrified moron."
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
kiss off...shampoo GIFGiphy
"Opposite problem. The time there was some woman, who had hair exactly like mine, sitting on a park bench. I had wandered off somewhere and my wife, thinking it was me, came up behind her and decided to give her a big kiss on the top of the head."
"I had long hair at 15-17 because my older brother did and his hot gf was always gushing about how hot it was and not enough guys had long hair. Got mistaken for a girl twice. Once at a petrol station the guy gave me change and winked while saying "here you go sweet heart". He was totally hitting on me!"
"Then a few days later when delivering pizza to a family the kid looks at me all confused and says "Mummy is that a boy or a girl?" The mum says "That's impolite". Then after the door closes I hear the kid say "ok but WAS it a girl or a boy?" The mum replied " I really don't know." Cut my hair the next day."
"My brother had a photo of me from that time on display for a couple years. He told me some of his friends asked if I was one of his old girlfriends. I was greatly offended until I actually saw the photo in question and holy crap I definitely looked like a girl! Thankfully he lost that photo and other photos from that time aren't so bad."
"ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?"
"At our high school we had an ultra strict rules lawyering woman who monitored the halls and would stop people constantly for anything and everything. Was walking down the halls in high school when I got a "Mam", "Mam", "Maam", "MAAM". Finally she grabbed my shoulder. Now, I had a very baritone voice, even back then."
"So I turned around, exaggerating my deep voice even more and gave her the most booming deep "ARE YOU TALKIN' TO ME?" I could muster. She looked utterly deflated. Absolutely 0 energy or fight left in her due to the embarrassment. She very sheepishly said that I needed to cover my book (it ripped literally 15 minutes earlier) and fled the scene with her tail between her legs."
"Once (when my hair was slightly shorter) I was taking the metro to DC when this kid and his mom got on a few stops after me and sat in the row right behind me. The kid was talking a lot about nothing, as kids tend to do when they first learn to put a full sentence together. I could hear him over my music."
"Then, he starts talking about some "Hey! The girl up there has more hair than YOU, mommy! Look! Look, her hair is longer than yours. You're not looking mommy!" I turned to look out the window as we exit a tunnel, then he says, "WHOA! She's a Boy."
"Never mind, mommy!" I locked eyes with the mom who just laughed and told the kid to sit and be quiet for a while."A few minutes later, he asks his mom how boys can grow longer hair than girls to which mom says "I don't know, but I can always buy some more hair if I want it to be longer. I don't always have to grow it all by myself." The kid was stunned."
Hey Dudejared leto mars GIFGiphy
"Dude slapped my butt and called me a fine looking wh**e. So I punched him. I think I'm slightly better looking then just fine. But after that I grew out my beard and no one has slapped my butt again yet."
"In 1989 I was still getting wavy perms because my Mom liked them. (yeah yeah, Momma's boy) It had just been done and my hair was almost curly. I was driving to Pitt for school and some guy drove up behind me honking and flashing his lights. I pulled over and he jumped out and as he ran up to my car I was opening my door. As I swung my legs out he saw that I was a painfully skinny guy and stopped flat."
"I said, "what's the problem?" He stammered for a second and replied, "I think you have a flat tire!," got back into his car, and drove off. I kicked the tire. It was fine. I had no idea what had happened. I just thought he made a mistake. In retrospect, years later, I often wondered what was really going on. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened that day if I had been a woman."
"I was young at the time. My mother and I got pulled over for a "investigation" by a well-known less-than-noble officer who liked his women's age on a clock. He asked my mother for her license, proof-of-purchase, and all that good stuff. We exchanged glances, and I saw his disgust as he realized I was a dude. He probably thought we were a mother/daughter prostitute duo, because those were very common in the area. Boy, did he have a surprise."
"I've been catcalled from cars who only saw me from the back a couple times. Once at a bar a friend and I were at table, a old dude walked past us, again I had my back to him and he said "evening ladies" to which I responded "I'm not a lady". Guy got super embarrassed, we got a kick out of it."
It's Miss...Flaunt Long Hair GIF by VPROGiphy
"Ma'am? Ma'am? MA'AM! That's the men's room! <pause> Oh my god, I'm so sorry!"
At the Game
"Alright, so this was way back when I was in High School and had been growing my hair out for a few years now. So to set the scene, me and my family went to a baseball game and my older sister got to bring her boyfriend along with her. Now, after the game, we were all walking back to the parking garage, so big procession of people leaving the stadium with panhandlers everywhere, as you'd expect. That's when one of the panhandlers calls out to my sister's boyfriend, "Hey man, you've got two girls hanging off you, surely you've got some spare change for me."
Even Worse Bro
"My brother was thin and had long hair when he turned 21. He was standing next to the table when a dude walked by and and squeezed a cheek. The grabber realized he was a man and got all freaked out and was like "ahh man. I thought you were a chick. I'm sorry. We told him that still wouldn't be cool even if he were a woman. The bartender "asked" him to leave."
"Almost 20 years ago I was in a redneck town in the middle of the night with a female friend. We go into this coffee shop and this guy standing in the doorway says all lecherously "Hey ladies!". I say "Evening," and his eyes get huge and he bolts out the door. We go in and this immense man yells out "HE SURE TOLD YOU! HAHAHAHA! We just got our coffee and donuts and got out asap."
That You?Confused Picture GIF by BlueyGiphy
"Not me, cuz I'm a girl, but once, my aunt saw an old picture of my parents and asked who the ugly girl with my mom was. It was my dad. The picture was taken when they were teenagers."
"When I was about 13 I had a long muff of hair and a part time job pushing carts at the grocery store. A coworker and I were pushing in a big load of carts and this older dude comes up and says to my coworker "I bet she's making you do all the work!" and then walks away. My coworker turns to me and says "did he just call you a girl?" I was slightly embarrassed but not enough to part ways with that glorified shag carpet."
What have we learned? Basic life lesson 101. Assume Nothing! Know you're addressing the person you believe you're addressing. And men with long beautiful hair are still Gods among men.
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One would think we're in a place in time where all conversations should be easy.
But that is not the case.
So much is still too "taboo" to be truthful about.
It is so frustrating.
There is so much to discuss.
Being shy is understandable, but it's something that we can all get over.
Redditor No_One_Special34 wanted to breakdown some barriers with a few simple conversations, so they asked:
"What is a taboo subject that should be talked about more?"
"Child/infant death. When my daughter died a bunch of people just... stopped talking to me altogether."
"I'm sorry to hear about your child."
"A 7-year-old was hit by a truck last week near my son's kg. I've never met the boy but I have had nightmares about it. I can't imagine what the parents are going thru right now. I can't imagine what you are going through."
"This happened to my mom when my brother died. Nobody knew what to say so few people said anything, and then it was treated like it didn’t happen."
The Aging Process
"We are a disgustingly ageist society. No wonder people pay BILLIONS for plastic surgery, hair color, and fitness, etc to stay relevant and not be thought of as useless or 'other.' It’s so very hateful. I think our society fears old age and death. It’s a f**king pathos."
"THANK YOU! I'm a 20-year paramedic. One of the things that I really hoped COVID would shed a light on is the absolutely abhorrent treatment of our elderly and infirmed. The 'treatment' in far too many nursing homes is negligent to a criminal level."
"Household budgets and finance - how much your parents make, how much is the mortgage, car insurance, car payment, and so on."
"That's easy. House, two cars, three kids, stay-at-home wife, pets, college tuition for everyone in the bank, a summer cottage home by the lake, and a hobby like golf should all do if you're a hardworking drug dealer nowadays."
"Agreed! We have gone into detail about our finances with our kids. We have them pick jobs on LinkedIn and a home on Zillow and budget so expenses and have them watch as they realize they can't afford expensive stuff on a crap salary. It's been really great."
Look for the Signs...
"Many people tend to assume that abusive people look creepy/scary and behave badly in general, but they don't seem to get that anyone can be abusive, regardless of appearance or demeanor. An abusive person can easily be charming, attractive, funny, witty, etc."
"Just because you think someone has a few positive qualities does not mean they're incapable of abuse."
"If someone's child 'seems' happy and well behaved, it does not mean that they are automatically OK or safe. There are many signs of abuse, and I wish that more people educated themselves on this issue. We can literally save lives by doing so."
The Girl Truth
"Girls need to know everything there is to know about menstruation before they experience it. At my school we were only given a quick 'every month you will bleed out your vagina, you can use pads or tampons to absorb it.' Nothing about any of the other mental or physical effects, nothing about how to deal with them, and nothing else reassuring."
Why are girls not taught more sooner?
Like what year are we living in?
"Number one for me, especially out-of-order deaths (young deaths). My husband died when I was 33 and he was 38. It's been almost 3 years and people still struggle with how to talk to me. We need to talk about death more as a society."
Only Legal One
"Alcoholism, especially in older generations."
"The biggest drug in the world, the most dangerous, only legal one. Alcohol has been disguised to make society believe it isn't even a drug. Now we're all hooked and can't go a week without a drink, funny because the cravings come back within a week."
"I quit drinking 18 months ago and it kinda sucks because if you want to go meet new ppl or go on a date it usually involves alcohol."
"Comprehensive sex ed. My mother never had sex ed and was convinced that vaginal discharge wasn't normal and that your crotch didn't sweat."
"My mother had a condition that requires her to use a catheter. She was shocked to learn that she doesn't urinate from her vagina, and that the opening to her urethra is actually slightly above it. She's 75. I'm a dude, and I've known that since I was 14."
"She was raised Catholic, and her mother taught her nothing. Not even what her period was. She was convinced she was dying."
Follow the Money
"Financial debt. In my line of work, I see people's bank accounts and credit reports every day and it is very rare that someone has zero debt. Excluding mortgages (which is a given) the vast majority have car finance, personal loans, and credit card balances. Mostly it's manageable, credit is mostly a convenience for which a person pays interest."
"But debt can also destroy a person. It can keep you up at night feeling like you're literally suffocating. It can lead to suicide. I know because I was close at one point. I don't know if I would have actually gone through with it but I had planned it to the point of measuring rope from the timbers in my attic to my neck and to ensure my feet wouldn't touch the ground."
"If you are in debt you are not alone, you're in the majority. If it's a struggle, notify the lenders/creditors; they're legally obligated to offer options to help you. It might reduce your credit score a bit but please don't ever reduce your life instead."
"Life is precious and money isn't. If you're struggling financially please speak to someone. There is no shame in it, pretty much everyone is struggling financially so someone will understand but please don't let a credit card balance be the reason your life ends."
"Pooping and poop problems. Colon cancer is so common and relatively treatable, but like all cancers, it's so much better to catch it early - yet so many people are too embarrassed to talk about poop problems, and they don't bring it up with their doctor until it's too late."
"I have ulcerative colitis and make sure all my friends know I'm totally comfortable talking about poop if they ever have any questions about whether something happening to them is normal or concerning."
Speak more. Speak louder. We've all been quiet too long.
The Thing People Would Look For First If Given A Box Of Everything They Ever Lost
As much as we might try to take care of our things, there are going to be instances where we lose things that we love.
Ironically, those lost things might be some of the most meaningful things we have in our lives.
Redditor baba_yaga_777 asked:
"If someone offered you a box of everything you ever lost, what would you look for first?"
A Mother's Brooch
"The brooch I bought for my mom's birthday when I was five years old (60 years ago)."
"I took all my money out of my bank and walked to the local Hallmark store. The nice lady took my money (probably less than $2) and wrapped up the gift."
"When my mom opened her gift, we walked back to the store 'to thank the lady for wrapping it so nicely.' It was actually so my mom could offer to pay the rest of the cost of that beautiful brooch. The lady wouldn't accept any more money, though."
"And here we are, 60 years later, and I still remember the incredible kindness of that lady."
"I don't have the brooch or my mom, but I do have this memory."
"When we left Yemen during the civil war in 1994, it was rushed and we lost a handbag that had all family photos from 15 to 20 years prior. It sucks not to have pictures of me when I was younger."
The Perfect Fit
"My swim trunks for this summer. I just got them last year and they fit me perfectly, and now I can't find them for the life of me. It p**ses me off thinking about it."
All Progress Saved
"The 'Pokémon Crystal' game that I had leveled all of my favorite characters up to Level 80. The housecleaner swiped it and my parents wouldn’t believe me. F**k you, Julie."
Lost Loved Ones
"My daughter. She was gone way too quick."
A Beloved Baby Blanket
"My childhood blankie. I have no idea what happened to it!"
"I somehow managed not to lose or destroy mine and gave it to my firstborn child. He still keeps it in his bed and turns seven soon. I think I’d ask for that too if it was lost."
Former Best Friends
"My best friend from my formative years."
"Oof, same. She was like a sister to me. She lives on the other side of the country now and, even though we grew apart, I miss how I felt when I spent time with her."
"The stuffed platypus I had when I was in elementary. Every time my mom mentions finding stuff in my grandpa's house, I ask about it."
In Exchange for Toxic Relationships
"The self-esteem that I allowed others to destroy during a phase of illness."
"High school sketchbook full of emo edgy drawings."
The Family Ring
"My mum's ring she'd been given by her Grandma that I pawned (my mum agreed at the time but always regretted it afterwards)."
"I got way, way less than its worth, since the guy took advantage of my age and desperation. The worst thing is, I can't even remember the design so can't ever have it replicated and can't ask my mum because she passed away earlier this year."
"Sure, I still love holidays but… as a kid, it was like, 'Holy mother of everliving f**k, Halloween is in THREE WEEKS? That is entirely too long. I will never be able to wait. Holy d**n.' And when it finally arrived, I'd have the night of my life."
"Now it’s like, 'Oh no. Halloween is in two days. Uh... Oh well...'"
The Sea of Lost Picks
"As a guitarist, all of my f**king picks."
Junk Drawers and Boxes
"The box I lost that had everything in it."
Quite the Conundrum
"The issue is that I can't recall what I've lost."
We've all lost things in our lives, some more important than others.
It's especially telling that at least most of us know exactly what we would seek first, before anything else that might possibly be in that box.
People Share What Their Reaction Would Be To Meeting A Naked Hiker On The Trail
There are several things that are appealing to hikers.
Being out in nature and taking in some fresh air is a huge motivation for people to get out of the house.
Getting exercise is also a factor to maintain a healthy heart.
But there could be one unexpected element to a hike that can happen hypothetically, and it's sure to raise your heartbeat.
Specifically, seeing something shocking along the hiking trail, like, say, a naked person could make for an exciting–or disturbing–hiking outing. It certainly doesn't get any more au natural than that.
Curious to hear from strangers, Redditor spenf asked:
"What would be your reaction if you encountered a nude hiker?"
These Redditors assessed the situation and saw no harm.
"I have passed two nude hikers in my 35 years of hiking. One male, one female, years and thousands of miles apart. Both said 'hello'. I said 'hello.' One mentioned the trail was washed out ahead but a second trail has been cut. I thanked them for the heads-up. Some people like the wind and sun on their skin. Both had on hiking boots. To each their own."
Sign Of Good Character
"I have. Three times! I'm an avid backpacker and you can usually find me in Yosemite, SeKi, Emigrant or Carson-Iceberg in California on any random summer weekend."
"My standard line: 'Afternoon, I didn't realize it was so cold out today!'"
"One of them didn't get the joke. The other two laughed their nude a**es off."
"Here's my reasoning. If you're naked and can laugh at a joke, you're probably not a threat."
"Depends. A hiker with hiking boots/shoes and a backpack, but otherwise nude, or a completely nude person on a hiking trail?"
"Scenario 1: I give a friendly wave and hike on."
"Scenario 2: I give a more tentative wave and hike on, maintaining a heightened awareness of my surroundings."
"I met one once. A middle aged man in ok shape. Had nice hiking boots, thick wool socks, fancy framed backpack, two walking poles, hat, sunglasses, and nothing else on."
"I said hi in a neutral voice, he replied hi in an equally neutral voice. We passed, I did not look back."
Some hikers are suspect.
"While backpacking out of Rocky Mountain National Park we encountered a dude wearing nothing but shoes and some very small shorts. He was off trail about 100' at the edge of a meadow, walking and swinging a machete. I...did not approach. He was probably a mile in from the trail head. I'm guessing drugs."
Beware Of Black Magic
"Ha! There are a lot of superstitious rumors/stories circulating around scenario 2 in India. Apparently, people who practice black magic with the sole intent of harming someone are often seen walking naked in places you don't expect people, carrying weird items."
"Either you interrupt them by disturbing them (no clue what happens next) or you run in the opposite direction."
You may want to take note.
"I live in the Bay Area and naked hikers are not uncommon."
"Good naked hiker: has appropriate shoes, a backpack or fanny pack, is hiking with intention and looks tanned and fit and like he does this regularly. Good naked hikers will give you room so you don't have to interact unless you really want to."
"Bad naked hiker: shoeless, visible sores, scrapes, or burns, moving erratically (i.e. really slow or in a zig-zag). Might be a drugged out person. Out-of-shape or pale are indications this is not normal for them and they may not have intended for this to happen."
"Exhibitionist: makes a point to make eye contact, smile at you, wave, try to involve you. Good naked hikers are usually on long, deep trails where they're less likely to encounter others, and they tend to give clothed hikers a wide breath out of a sense of respect and consent. Exhibitionists get chummy; it excites them to be seen naked."
"Also depends on the area. A deep woods area with long trails is ideal for naked hiking. Shorter and more accessible trails are less okay because there's a higher likelihood of encountering families with children."
"Also depends on if they're with friends or not. A group of naked hikers is less concerning than an individual."
"All this boils down to:"
"If you see a naked hiker, mind your own business. A good naked hiker isn't trying to bother you. A bad naked hiker is potentially dangerous. An exhibitionist wants attention so any attention paid to them will fuel them. Best thing to do is nod as you pass and carry on like you haven't even noticed."
"Edit: There are actually areas in the Bay Area where it's permitted to hike naked. Regionally, some places allow nudity. Also some places allow women to be topless so a topless female hiker might just be evening out her tan. It's best not to assume and to know the local laws before passing judgement on a person getting their nature on."
Guilty as charged.
The Name Is A Dead Giveaway
"No reaction at all, since I would be nude myself."
"Stare in disbelief. That's just very strange and coincidental for two nude hikers to run into each other."
"I guess make sure they have sunscreen also."
To each their own, but if hiking in the nude is your thing, you do you.
And just a heads up: If you're walking around in the buff and happen to be wielding a machete, you're going to make people very jittery. So maybe drop the prop.
Also, wear plenty of sunscreen.
The Absolute Hardest Parts Of Dating After Age 30
30 is the new 20.
At least, that's what a lot of people tell themselves after they pass that milestone birthday.
Even so, while age is merely a number, people still find certain things grow increasingly more challenging with each passing year.
Including, or even particularly, dating.
Those still on the hunt for love after turning 30 might grow increasingly insecure, worry that their moment has passed, or be unable to ignore the ticking of their biological clock reminding them that time might be running out to start a family.
Not to mention, playing a losing game over and over can become completely and utterly exhausting after a while.
"What is the hardest part of dating after 30?"
Not Everyone Wants A Package Deal
"Realizing that the number of single parents is larger than you’d expect."- dhabo1030
"Some people have kids or want them soon."
"And emotional baggage."- Psyblade0_0
"Kids, whether you have them or not, is something to talk and consider immediately before starting anything."- Crisb89
"For me, it was finding someone who didn't have kids, and didn't want them."
"At that point in my life, I was (and still am) 100% sure I don't want kids."
"Finding a long-term partner who wants the same was pretty tough."- Toiletpaperplane
"Everyone has kids."- TopScruffyPlaying Happy Children GIF by MOODMANGiphy
Everyone's In A Hurry
"'Dating after 30 is like catching a city bus after midnight'."
"'There aren't as many, but they're faster'."- civex
How Long Have You Got?
"Online dating sucks and all my friends are married or dead or single fathers."
"So I am on my own for the most part."- somedude-83
"It's not all fun and games anymore."
"People feel late or behind."
"First dates often: are we compatible, do you want kids, are you OK with my kids, are you ready for a serious relationship, do you make enough money, do you own a home, politics?"
"I don't have time to mess with you if we aren't a match because I'm in my 30s and supposed to be married and having kids."
"The days of just light fun dating are less common."- ZLVe96Kill Me Now Season 1 GIF by FriendsGiphy
Emotional And/Or Excess Baggage
"You sometimes pay for what their ex did to them."- JJJAAABBB123
Rising Standards And Expectations
"You have your preferences narrowed down a LOT more than you did in your 20s, thus finding a compatible partner is more difficult."
"Especially if you dislike kids."- Clintman
"Many people want 'high value' partners while having no value."- Zetterburger40Sassy Red Wine GIF by Married At First SightGiphy
Solo routines Can Be Hard To Shake...
"I've learned I prefer my own company."- PrinceEnternalStench
"The summoning rituals you have to go through."- AdCareful5654
Wait Till Your 40s...
"Wait until they’re over 45."
"Most are divorced and have been alone for a while."
"It‘s a reset of dating and they’re open to try something new."
"That person who was out of your league is now squarely in your court."
"Go for it!"- macgivSee Ya Goodbye GIF by MaxGiphy
Good Luck Getting A Good Night's Sleep...
"CPAP Machines."- Reddit
As long as you are single, finding love is one of the many things you think you might never achieve with each passing year.
However, when you do finally find that one true love, no matter when or how old you are, you will realize in no time at all it was definitely worth the wait.