It's been said that the sense most closely associated to memory is scent. I don't know if it's true for everyone, but it's certainly true for me.
In fact, one of the things I loved most about my partner was that he always smelled like the beach - a scent I have loved my whole life and always reminds me of being a kid collecting shells with my grandpa. My parents and grandmother worked a lot, so it was typically just he and I hanging out being the cool kids.
When he passed (penniless as he had always been - a refugee from Cuba who taught himself to read and write) he left me a big box of those shells. Opening the box, the first thing that hits you is that smell. Even a decade later, it's heavy in there.
I had no idea that when 5 year-old me handed my grandpa these that he was keeping them. All of them. They were important to him; cherished little treasures from his tiny partner in crime.
Those shells, and the scent of the beach, make me feel all kinds of warm and fuzzy. The memory still warms my tiny cold xennial heart.
Reddit user sunriseoverseas asked other users to talk about their favorite scents, and it looks like I'm not the only one out here chasing a childhood memory bloodhound style by following a scent.
The amount of adorable (and awkward, people love some really unusual scents lol) in here is kind of amazing.
Either Or
GiphyThat one smell that hits you randomly and your brain kicks into this "oh my that smell is the exact same as in fall 2004 when you where on your way to your friends yaddayadda" And you just stand there like......
Either that or coconut , calms me down.
Grandma's House
My first Christmas Eve with my husband's family we spent the night and the guest room smelled EXACTLY like my grandma's house. We lost her in 2006 and then my cousin let the house go into foreclosure so I hadn't smelled that in over a decade. I cried happy tears.
I take it as a sign that I picked the right guy :)
Smell The Savings
Payless shoe store. I'd walk in, sniff and leave. Cashier probably thought I was weird. I don't give a F what you think cashier. Yeah, maybe I am fckin weird. So what?!
A Firey Christmas
That smell when you blow out a match or a birthday candle.
- -eDgAR-
That's the smell of Christmas for me, specifically going to Christmas Eve service at church, then when it's ended and everyone is putting on their coat to go home because Christmas has officially begun and they wish each other happy Christmas, the church attendants begin blowing out the candles, and THAT smell for me is Christmas.
Fresh Water
Fresh rain. inhales deeply
Humans are hyper sensitive to it as a way to find fresh water. That's probably why we like it so much
Puppyfeet
My dog's paws. My wife thinks it's disgusting but I just like the way they smell!
You are not alone, friend. It's a Bugles/corn chip smell that is actually closer to pandan, if you've ever smelled that.
A lot of people sniff the dog paw.
Fun fact: it's caused by bacteria and when dogs dig their paws into the ground, they are doing so to transmit their odor.
Motocross
Ever since I was a kid I loved the smell of gasoline. Also if you've ever been to a motocross event, or like X Games etc with dirt bikes, the smell of motorbikes and dirt is borderline sexual.
Trying Not To Judge This One
GiphyUrinal cake, because it reminds me of those primitive bathroom facilities that they have at campgrounds, which I associate with camping, which I enjoy.
Chlorine
Chlorine. Toward the end of my pregnancy I craved that scent so bad. I obviously didn't inhale it or anything but I remember sitting in the pool a few weeks before giving birth and the smell was so strong and sooo good. I told my husband about it and he thought I was weird AF.
Even now I love it.
Charlotte
Once a week on a Tuesday I work until 7pm so get a later bus and on the same bus was a girl who was travelling to the hospital for treatment for cancer. One evening we started talking and then for about 6 months we would sit next to each other and talk. We'd tell each other what music we were currently into or what book we were reading or what video game we were playing. She smelled of mangoes and strawberry. I ended up finding out where she got it and buying my daughter some for her birthday. (The body shop)
I haven't seen her on the bus now for 3 months. I hope she is okay but I don't think so as she had stage four lung cancer.
Every time I smell mangoes and Strawberries I think of Charlotte and her big smile when I introduced her to a new band or told her about a book.
Feels Because Of Felt
My grandma passed away the week I graduated high school, back in 2005. One of the things my dad gave me that belonged to her was a jewelry box...covered in seashells, but lined with felt. The first time I opened it, I immediately began to bawl. The felt lining had grabbed that perfect scent of grandma's house/perfume. I don't use the jewelry box at all. In fact, I keep it closed as often as possible. But a few times a year, especially when I'm missing her, I open the jewelry box just a crack, and stick my nose in there just to smell her again. And once a year, usually around the holidays, I take it to my parents' house so my dad can smell it and be flooded with memories of his mom.
15 years later, and it still smells like her.
Redditor onlyusemefeets wanted to hear about the worst of everyone's family, so they asked:
"When did you find out that someone in your family is evil?"
The Reddit community rose to the occasion to shed some light on their family skeletons.
Money Issues
Wild West Fighting GIF by Buyout FootageGiphy"When they ripped apart 3 generations of my family almost immediately after my dad died for a measly $37,000. He's a millionaire. That kinda money is pocket change to him."
Good Lord
"When my 11 year old cousin got cancer."
"Her mom and boyfriend were shooting up her pain medicine. My cousin was in so much pain, she told her Doctors. Thats when the doctors stopped giving her mom a prescription and the nurses dispensed her pain meds at the hospital. Unfortunately they could not keep track of medication while at home so they reported it."
"CPS removed her. She died shortly after in foster care. Parents were never charged."
dead-parrots
Death
"When my dad died of covid my Aunt tried to say she was entitled to some stuff of his since it belonged in the family. She even called a lawyer on us and it was big deal and my mom didn't need to deal with that trying to raise 3 kids on her own so f**k her. She still bothers us about stuff and all it is like plates and some pictures and some other things."
"Sunken Cost Fallacy"
"My brother's addiction has led to him spinning some ridiculous stories. I'm not sure if he is very convincing or if my father chooses to believe him because of some 'sunken cost fallacy,' or he genuinely refuses to give up. But my brother has told lies and stories about me and my siblings to the point that he's the only child who talks to my father anymore. He convinced my father that I forced him to do drugs."
"But I knew my brother was evil when scared away my sister with physical violence. Last month, he went missing for a weeks only to turn up after flipping his car high on pills. My father doesn't know it yet, but my mother is planning on leaving him because my father chooses my brother over her. No one can convince my father that he's enabling. No one can convince my brother to stop. Hard drugs really destroy entire families."
sleepypanda59
A New Family
Frustrated Skip Bayless GIFGiphy"When he purposely excluded his 4 year old son (from a previous relationship) from his wedding to his new spouse, deleted all photos of his son from his social media, and legally signed away all parental rights. He has since had 2 more kids with said new spouse."
FeminaCanadiana
How can parents act that way?
Failure...
"I don't know about evil, but my dad got remarried and has a kid and stepson with his new spouse. All of that would be fine if he didn't pretend that none of us (offspring from first marriage) exist so he can pretend this family is the first family and we never happened."
"Once this realization hit me, I stopped contacting him, and once I stopped putting in the effort, everything else dissipated. We haven't spoken at all. He does not care in the least. I honestly believe that he wishes we never even existed. He is a failure as a father and as a man."
Raindrops_On-Roses
Oh Brother
"When my husband's brother (1 of 5 siblings) said he couldn't make it to our house to plan their mother's funeral because he had to work. Meanwhile we found out he wasn't working because we caught him on ring doorbell entering the moms house to rifle through it while the rest of us were planning the funeral at my house."
Legitimate_Energy257
The End
"When my ex said 'you've been a godsend, I want a divorce.' I had taken time off from work to take care of her parents. She told me this right before her dad died, and she inherited. She found a boyfriend while I was with her parents. She got the house by declaring I had abandoned it. I was with her parents."
rollercoaster_5
Evil
Season 5 Nickelodeon GIFGiphy"When my dad tried to throw my 6 month old sister when he was drunk. That man is a monster in disguise"
iinattanii
So many people really need to be screened for their abilities to raise kids.
Redditor thunderchild10 wanted to discuss everyone's thoughts on the friends with benefits scenario, so they asked:
"What's your opinion of friends with benefits?"
I've never done FWB.
I feel robbed.
After a while...
Friends With Benefits Herkenbaar GIF by GoPlayGiphy"Fun, and fine for a while, but less fulfilling than a relationship. Also, you both need to be good at compartmentalization, otherwise one of you will likely end up catching feelings."
Akiram
Be Clear
"My FWB caught feelings even though we were always clearly communicated as FWB. We were both in a big but really close friends group. I got a gf (she had recently had a bf as well) and she got mad. I ended up losing all my friends. It’s been 4 years, and she actually successfully managed to get 20+ ppl to forget I exist."
"Wouldn’t recommend."
sadbudda
The Rule of Three
"I had 3 throughout college. Two ended in us dating and then breaking up. The only one that worked and lasted two years was me and an ex from high school. We never hung out but were cool after our breakup. Didn’t speak for like three years and then when we were in college we saw each other at the bar, hooked up that night, then like two days later she asked if I wanted to meet up and I said sure."
"Then it just continues for two years. We rarely spoke outside of the bedroom other than like ‘pick me up from the bar’. Overall it was cool but I think it’s very rare. You have to find two people who just don’t have any desire for each other other than when horny, which a lot of times is not the case in one side"
InternationalMouse56
Confusion
"I honestly don't understand it at all. Having any sexual relation with a person whom I don't love and who doesn't love me seems pointless and even scary to me. I guess I am over-sensitive or something, because the thought of being so close to somebody without actually having a connection, an exclusivity, without knowing if this will ever happen again, is genuinely horrific to me."
"I don't care what others do in the bed and with whom, but this kind of relationship is just not for me."
ZidanSufuzki
For Life
Corona Snap GIF by INTO ACTIONGiphy"If they can provide Medical, Dental, Unemployment, and Retirement benefits then they’re a friend for life."
Stupify_Me
Benefits are benefits. I'm in.
Forever
married single ladies GIFGiphy"It didn't work out. We couldn't keep it just friends once we started the benefits. We will celebrate our 19th wedding anniversary in 2 weeks."
dirtysecretsofmine
Hey Buddy
"Very messy. You gotta either be f"k buddies only, dating, or friends only. Trying to keep feelings out of FWB is too difficult."
MarthaTheTRex
"That's a great point. I agree that it's tough to keep feelings out of the equation. I think it's best to just be honest and open with your friend so that you both know the boundaries of the situation and can stick to them. That way, both parties can be sure that they're getting what they need out of the relationship."
Professional-Help114
Taking Chances
"Seems iffy to me if you want the friendship to lay long term. Doesn't someone usually catch feelings, so after the FWB finds a partner they want to keep, it leaves the other party out. Especially if the new bf/gf doesn't want you to be friends with someone you've had sex with."
"Yes? No? I'm not into casual sex for myself, so am I off base?"
lifehappenedwhatnow
Developments
"A lot of people are saying 'someone always inevitably develops feelings' and that it ends badly, but that's not been my experience. I'm still friends with a few of my FWB's that I'm no longer sleeping with over the last couple of years and I'm genuinely happy for them that they've found relationships that make them happy. And I know of quite a few others similar to me."
playswithf1re
In Sync...
Sacha Baron Cohen Thumbs Up GIF by Amazon Prime VideoGiphy"A great plan when both participants are on the same page. Whether that is 'stay FWB' or 'hey we caught feelings, let's give a relationship a try'. A mess when only one participant catches feelings."
Gwywnnydd
Don't get hurt...
"Terrible idea, someone always inevitably develops feelings and gets hurt."
"It can work sure, but in general, unless you're both 100% sure (which, how can you ever really be?) beforehand that you won't develop feelings for each other, I generally have seen it not work."
"In my personal experience, someone always had to break it off just as feelings were starting to arise. So yeah, be careful I guess."
PodcastingPodcastGuy
What have we learned?
Communication is key.
Do you have any WTF FWB experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below.
