Redditor schnozzberryflopwanted to compile a list of pronunciations we need to sharpen up on.
"What's a mispronunciation that sends you into fits of rage?"
Don't axe me anything. Ask me.
Correct evading
genie talking GIFGiphy"'Eluding to’ something. That’s alluding meaning referring to something indirectly. Eluding means evading something."
7oakskent
"I once made this typo, and someone commented 'it seems the correct form of 'allude" eludes you.' :D "
Memorphous
The Classic
"Ugh... affect/effect I just have a hard time ignoring. Like my brain will read the one they wrote but in a sarcastic/condescending tone."
CumulativeHazard
"Actually, legitimate question for you: when should one use "affect" and when should they instead use 'effect?'"
"I've never been able to find a hard and fast rule, and have been using it like; 'affect'; when something causes something (example: "you are affected by the sleep spell"), and effect when referring to the effects of something (ex: 'the sleep spell has an effect in a 30 ft sphere'). Is this anywhere near correct or am I way off?"
hahasnake
For once in my life...
"My co-worker keeps saying 'Ask-rix' instead of 'asterisk.' It drives me insane."
MLaw2008
I just found out and I’m, like old, that I’ve been saying it wrong 'asterick' my whole life. I want to punch myself in the face. Hopefully the next 40 years go better."
"I had a former coworker correct me when I said asterisk. She was very confident that it was asterix. For once in my life, I didn't rub it in endlessly."
JustMakinStuff
What a Year!
"I had a boss once who would always call it a 'physical year.' It took me longer than I care to admit to realize that she actually meant 'fiscal year.' It’s amazing how much more sense my job made after that lol."
Then_Jury_1336
"Had to scroll way too far for this. I have worked in finance and people still say Physical Year.. which is just mind-boggling to me. Fiscal and physical are two different things."
Flimsy-Animator756
"I've always thought a physical year in accounting/book keeping to mean Jan-Dec and fiscal year is the time between the company closing their books."
SmellyTofu
???
No Way Smh GIFGiphy"I try not to get worked up about mispronunciations, but I had a manager who said 'per batim' instead of verbatim, and I winced every time she said it."
AngkorLolWat
It's like nobody went to school.
Letters Matter
Insanity Going Crazy GIFGiphy"My boyfriend doesn’t pronounce the first r in 'frustrated.' He sounds like a child and it’s… well, frustrating."
crazycatguy23
"My husband (and his family) does this. Makes me insane."
becktacular_b
The Mix Up
"Not a pronunciation but I see people switch 'sale' and 'sell' in social media all the time and it boggles my mind they don't know the difference."
Jfonzy
"I’ve seen so many people mix up woman and women online that I can’t figure out if they don’t know that one is singular and one is plural or if it’s autocorrect for some reason. I’ve seen it so many times that I really don’t think people know the difference and it bothers me so much."
SleepyCakeInsomniac
just get a taco...
"My mom cannot pronounce chipotle. She says 'chip-ol-tee.'"
absurdbrain
"My Dad does the same thing! He also says 'kay-suh-dill-uh' no matter how many times I correct him."
VoidWalker4Lyfe
"When the town I grew up in finally got a Chipotle, nearly everyone pronounced it 'Chi-pol-tay' and it made me stabby."
scootypuffjr2
"My bf says... 'Kway-so' instead of queso. Makes me wanna go kwazy and kwill him."
Adorable-Ring8074
In Hotels
"I work in a hotel. The number of people that refer to adjoining rooms (meaning to have the connecting door between them) as 'ca-joined' (not conjoined which is still wrong but still less wrong) makes me want to rage punch them. Call them adjoining. Call them connecting. Call them adjacent even. But ca-joined is not a go**amn word."
heyderhoneydew
I'll have Tea
"When people say eXspecially instead of eSpecially."
throwwaywaywayyaway
"EXpecially if they order eXpresso at the coffee shop."
GeeZeusCries
"My Dad says expresso. Very smart, very educated, very good grammar, loves coffee. Still says expresso."
algo-rhyth-mo
"Had to scroll too far for this one, it’s the worst."
zuniceratops
"Someone I work with does this with so many basic words that she says almost daily, including exspecially. She also always says physical when she means fiscal. Oh, and she says supposably instead of supposedly."
thehelldoesthatmean
Be Sure
the narrator GIFGiphy"They never get insure/ensure right either."
TimidPocketLlama
"Like nails on a chalkboard."
wazoof01
Did we all pay attention? Sound it out!
Do you have similar experiences to share? Let us know in the comments below!
Redditor Likali2 wanted everyone to fess up about accents just don't do it for them?
"What accents do you find least attractive?"
I haven't heard an accent I wasn't intrigued by. So tell me....
SHARONNNN!!!
Oh Burn Ozzy Osbourne GIF by Sky HISTORY UKGiphy"People mentioning Birmingham accents. I started watching peaky blinders and have to ask if this is an accurate representation."
No-Town-4678
"Ozzy Osbourne is probably the best representation of a Birmingham accent, most people think he talks like that because of the years of drug abuse but that’s just how brummies talk."
Chris_M1991
The Lisp
"My answer is very specific: Spanish people from Spain who learn to speak English in Australia sound ridiculous. Those two accents are fine on their own but they must never be combined."
FarmerMKultra
"Visited Modern Languages uni friends doing their six months in Spain and met a scouser there who spoke Spanish with a scouse accent. 'Co-mo estasss...' Unreal."
Johnny_english53
"Honestly, just Spanish from Spain, especially catalan... I cannot stand the lisp!!!"
NeatArtichoke
Too Thick
"My own. I have a thick Mancunian accent and my dialect is a mess. I'll provide an example as best I can."
"Normal: Hello! how are you? I am good, I am going to the shop. I will see you soon."
"Me: Ya'reet mate wot's been goin' on n that? Nah mate I'm sound me just nippin f**kin' shop n that for sum cigs n sh*t innit, f**kin text me in a bit yeah alright in a bit man safe G."
CommunityMountain720
So Aggressive
"People from northern Ireland sound like they want to murder you but they're just saying hello."
Silly-Perception8689
"Kevin Bridges has a joke about being heckled a little in Norn Iron. Friendly audience member says 'don't worry about them.'"
"'I wasn't until you said that.'"
ScottyBoneman
"As a Northern Irish person I agree, but some of the accents are less murdery here. I mean Liam Neeson's isn’t bad."
punkerster101
Geographical
The Wire Roland Brice GIFGiphy"Baltimore, I don't have to explain this."
Hypn0tism
"'AARON EARNED AN IRON URN... damn we really talk like dat?!'"
ChainmailleAddict
I've never heard some of these until now. Research to be done.
That's Me?
renee zellweger chicago GIF by MIRAMAXGiphy"I’ve heard myself talk… Chicago."
Notch99
"Currently living in Chicago and raising my children here. I'm worried if I start hearing that accent in their speech, I might have to move. My wife is convinced we can teach them to speak without it."
jeffsang
Mixture
"Singlish (Singaporean English)."
j0bl0w
"Midwesterner from US. Three years in Singapore. My favorite memory is being the interpreter for an Aussie and a Singaporean. Neither could understand a word of the other’s English."
WG50
"Singaporean here. Worked overseas and heard some Singaporeans speaking... good gosh that was when I realised our accent sounded awful. Most of us code switch to a western accent when we’re overseas anyway (so ya’ll can understand us)."
thepotatolives
Like OMG!!
"Valley Girl. Absolute cringe."
GetABodybag
"Luckily it's falling out of use. I live in the valley and nobody talks like that anymore. Certain groups of rich, white people still have that accent though."
Upnorth4
"I used to mock the valley girl accent and the sksk thing, like, the turtle straw water bottle girls. They had a name, I just don’t recall. But now I unironically say 'like' too much and I can’t stop."
LPOLED
Cringe
"Bogan Aussie."
coolfreeusername
"Yeah, nah, get farked. It is startling to hear an Aussie accent after travelling through Europe for months without hearing one, then hearing one in the distance... and cringing a little. Not as much as when I hear Aussie, Aussie etc That really makes us sound like Bogans."
WokSmith
"I’m Australian, and I that this is one of the worst accents. It makes me really embarrassed when ‘proud Aussies’ talk like this as some sort of showcase of how we talk. We don’t all sound like this, I promise."
jayjayhxc
Interiors
Waking Up Sun GIF by MTV CribsGiphy"Ornate curtain rods."
ByGrabthar
"Throw pillows with uncomfortable fabric textures."
loathenstein
Brummie
"Regional accent from the UK.....Birmingham. By god it makes people sound so thick."
Oatydude
"I'm laughing but I've just come on to this comment section and knew someone was going to say it......Do you actually know what a Brummie accent is though!? Because most attempts you go Dudley and think we're apart of the Black Country and just surrounded by it!"
Jack-Rabbit-002
Boston
"I have a Boston accent and I annoy myself with it! Who says "pizzer for suppah?" I do. Wicked annoying."
hobbiesaremygame
"I was recently speaking at a conference when introducing myself I said we had offices in Syracuse, Albany, Boston and DC. Can you guess which one I am from?"
"Later that week I was drinking with some guys from Texas, when another from Texas came in the room. A guy looks at me and says 'hey Boston, say it again.' So I did the 'Pahk the Cah in Havarhd Yahd' thing. The guy from Texas goes 'Y'all talk funny up there.'"
SnooLobsters4636·
Deep Southern Fried Accent
"The deep southern accent is hard for me to take. I really have trouble understanding it sometimes. I live in Alabama, and have to lie and say I’m hard of hearing, please talk slowly. Words like “Jordan” are pronounced “Jurden”. LafayETTE is pronounced La FAYette. Vienna is pronounced VI-enna. Shrimp is srimp. Lots more, too tired to remember them."
Hollywood Scottish
Hollywood’s version of Scottish. I’ve met real Scots, IN Scotland. Hollywood makes them sound like a stereotype. On that note, Hollywood’s version of a southern drawl. Same thing. I actually live in the South, born in Memphis and raised in Mississippi. Yes, we have an accent."
This_Personality3731
Karma Balanced
"I grew up in Memphis. One time, when I was in grade school, a kid moved into our neighborhood from Alabama and we all teased her about her country accent. The next summer my family moved to Seattle. Learned a little about karma, I did."
nowherehere
No bagels for you
"Everyone is going to get mad. I hate the New York Italian and New York Jewish accent."
Kiwi-Latter
I still love all accents. I guess life is just subjective.
Reddit user rsideoson asked:
"What is a word that sounds inappropriate?"
Don't worry, Reddit is absolutely no more mature than we are and we all deserve a childish giggle every now and then.
Throat Thingy
"Uvula (dangly bit in your throat)"
- prettysouthernchick
"Ooohhh, so it's a girl house"
- Lusty_Argonian_Man
" 'All god's children got a uvula!'."
- theoldroadhog
"In Swedish it is called gomspene whick translates to pallet teet."
- nemeras
"That little dangly thing that’s hanging in the back of their throat?"
- Admirable-Door1724
Snl Season 47 GIF by Saturday Night LiveGiphyA What Hole ?
"Manhole"
- NightOnFuckMountain
"Our city has had several instances of exploding manholes in the downtown area. My friends never let an opportunity to make such comments pass them by. (And I love them for it!)"
- Needspoons
"Played some drawing game once where you'd draw the word u get by the game and others would try guess it...my friend got that word and drew a .. manhole..like.. a literal manhole not the actual one, and that was when i learned that word lol"
- chaexhun
Chew Works Too
"Masticate"
- HoopOnPoop
"Especially at the dinner table.."
- BassWingerC-137
"Those mukbangers masticate all over the place"
- imccompany
"This is the winner."
- the_pointy
"Do you oppose public mastication?"
- Cy41995
Hot Dog Eating GIF by NBAGiphyLets Just Not Use It Anymore
"This is not a fun or funny example, but, 'niggardly'."
"Etymologically, it has absolutely nothing to do with that other word. They have totally different origins, and sound/look similar purely as a matter of coincidence."
"But it's just not worth the explanation when "stingy" or 'miserly" work just as well, so it's basically a dead word."
- rejectednocomments
"Even the Reverend Jesse Jackson defended the use of this word."
"Also, TIL he's still alive."
- AtTheLeftThere
"I remember being a preteen and stepdad using this word. I was horrified. He was mildly racist so I wasn’t too surprised but we were in public. 'Dad!!!! There’s a black woman right there!!!'."
"He explained what it meant but I sure never ever used that word."
- baxbooch
"Yeah this word is gone forever. There is no way of tossing that out in casual conversation ever again, and even if you did you'd have to spend a good few minutes defending what you meant and looking it up to prove it."
- coombuyah26
Playing Around With Speed
"Fartlek."
"It's a running term and as a grown man I still giggle when I hear it."
- PreppyFinanceNerd
"Wait is that how it’s spelled? I always thought it was Fartlick lol"
- Hydra57
"You guys use that? It's Norwegian, meaning speed game."
- Cheetah_Hungry
"Fartlek’s were misery in high school XC. Always just called it a fart lick"
- silverhammer96
Safari Park Running GIF by San Diego ZooGiphyFortunella Sounds Fancier
"Kumquat"
- blaketyner
"You rang?"
- Sour_Kumquat
"Got banned from a forum for calling someone a kumquat. No regrets."
- eclecticsed
"The restaurant I worked at had a kumquat margarita and for a good 2 weeks the menu accidentally had cumquat, but each time the manager tried to fix it they’d accidentally print the wrong on again and there’d be too many copies to just throw out."
- silverhammer96
"That's a good one"
- TheKalebPerkins
The 'L' Is Important
"Caulk"
- HiakaiSiempre
"This may only be true in American English...in other accents it's much less suggestive"
- Tel-aran-rhiod
"Hehe caulk"
- MrsFlubberbuns96
"Don't wanna wait forever for that caulk to harden"
- Brilliant_Succotash1
"I used to work for a construction company doing purchasing and apparently in the winter caulk gets cold and refuses to work so you need to put your caulk in a caulk warmer"
- nmw6
"My brother insists on over enunciating the L so it sounds like. Cow-LK"
- jawshoeaw
homer simpson GIFGiphyYou Sure About This One?
"Jiggers, also known as the chigoe flea. Similarly, chiggers, also known as berry bugs."
- ArmoredArmadillo05
"Jigger is also the little double-ended cup bartenders use for measuring alcohol for cocktails."
- PromptCritical725
"I was looking for these two."
- kazeespada
" 'Jigger' is used every day by Australian surveyors. It’s what we call our theodolites or Total Stations. Short for thingamajigger perhaps. If my mate’s jigger wasn’t cooperating, he’d say 'jigger please'.”
- rawker86
"What’s my motherf*cking name?"
- GeezRick
So Many Botanical Puns
"Clematis"
- bl0ckplane
"One summer day at a barbecue at my mum in laws, she walked outside and announced “wait til you see the size of the flower on my clematis” I snort inhaled my wine"
- Hatchetface1705
"I think they can cure that with a penicillin shot/s"
- 51225
"Another botanical word that makes me giggle:"
"Peonies"
- RunningFromSatan
"Scabiosa. Or, as the Brits would say, scabious."
- Tacoma__Crow
This Is Another One We Should Maybe Not Use
"Negus. It means a hot drink of port, sugar, lemon, and spices, and it's a royal title."
- JustPlay94_cryer
"Can you use it in a sentence?"
- YubNub81
"Doesn't it also refer to an Ethiopian king?"
- Dbwasson
"Negan in Roman times."
" 'I am Negus! Thou shalt provide me with copious produce!'."
- imjb87
You heard (and laughed at) Reddits appropriately inappropriate words, now it's your turn to get in on the fun.
An unexpected passenger.
"I had herd a loud noise come from the bed of my truck while driving 5 hours north."
" I thought I may have broken something in the rear end so I pulled over, to find out a drunk guy had crawled in the back of my truck and fallen asleep."
"He woke up 5 hours and 450km away from where he fell asleep."- EWood454.
An unwanted visitor.
"Someone tried to open up my front door of my house"- alwaysnar.
youtube door GIF by Impulse SeriesGiphyA cute and loyal disrupter.
"Not a Night Owl, but in my early twenties I would hear a dragging sound just below my bedroom window between 2 am and 4 am."
"Only on Sunday nights, but for weeks."
"It would wake me up, and at first I thought I was dreaming as no sound would be heard, but as soon I doze off the sound would be heard again."
"If I got out of bed, turn the lights and looked outside I would see nothing."
"After a few weeks I resisted sleep and nothing happened, but as soon I would turn the light and sleep, the sound would wake me up."
"Eventually I would let myself go to sleep but be more alert, keep the window not completely shut so that I can turn the backyard lights and peak through it faster."
"That was the plan for Sunday nights."
"I was prepared to try to catch the origin of the sound, It happens, I get up, as I turn the lights to look, I heard steps, running away, but small and fast steps."
"This happened for a few weeks, only on Sunday nights."
"I talked with friends, girlfriend, everyone thought I was joking. I was starting to believe something was wrong with my head."
"Every week I would start with a bad night sleep."
"Until one Monday morning I realized that my faithful and loving dog, a rottweiler, had his kennel door wide open."
"My mom started letting him roam the backyard at night but only on Sundays."
"And without my knowledge he would come sleep under my bedroom window."
"The dragging sound was him snoring and the small feet sound, was him checking out why did the backyard lights did go off."
"I never had a problem sleeping with him there."
"I still miss him to this day."- anunofreitas.
You can't make this stuff up.
"Used to live on the ground floor."
"At 2 am some random person knocked on my window and asked if I had 50 cents for a lighter."
"It should have been creepy, but I found the situation so absurd that I just laughed, gave him the 50 cents and he was on his way." - User Deleted
Mysterious laughter
"Children laughing."
"Was in the jungles of Brunei during an army training exercise."- PitcherTrap.
stephen king film GIFGiphyFrom outside my window.
"I was lying in my bed, reading."
"Suddenly I hear loud footsteps right outside the window."
"Sounded like someone was wearing heavy boots and basically thumping their feet and passed my windows."
"Here's the thing. I live on the ninth floor(top floor of my building)."
"The terrace can't be accessed in the night and on the rare occasion that people do walk there at night, it sounds quite different."
"There's no place to walk outside my window cuz it's a nine floor drop."
"And that sound definitely came from beside me."
"Not above."- HighQueenOfFae.
Terrifying decor.
"Just the other day, I heard a strange scraping noise on the wall from the hallway."
"It sounded like someone scraping their hand across it."
"I know for a fact that I locked up, so I casually walk out the room to see what it is."
T"hen there’s a loud as f*ck scrape and something swings out from the corner at my arm."
"After I finish climbing back into my skin, I see that it was just one of the decorative garlands we’d hung up: it had come loose and scraped across the wall, then came loose some more and swung out to greet me at the perfect/not-perfect time."- PeeJayx.
Creepy, crawly critters!
"I am hearing impaired and so was unaware that raccoons had gotten into the crawlspace."
"Then I heard them screeching."
"That's a sound I never needed to hear coming from my walls."- FreedTMG.
racoon GIFGiphyA harmless, terrifying, prank!
"After a night out at the bars some friends came back to my place to hang out."
"I got home first and went into the dark house where I had to walk into the living room to switch on a light."
"While I was struggling to turn the little knob on the lamp in the pitch dark from the corner of the room came this low, slow, wet mixture between a hack and an evil EVIL laugh."
"Like every evil character I’ve ever seen doing the evil laugh COMBINED didn’t compare to the bone chilling slow, guttural laugh that came from the absolutely dark corner of the room."
"B*tch I broke the screen door off my front door running RUNNING out of that house and just screaming like a banshee to my friends walking up to the house."
"I screamed 'there’s someone in the house!' over and over and didn’t understand why we ALL weren’t running at that point but I have a couple buddies who for some BIZARRE reason like to run to danger rather than from it."
"Well, long story in Reddit terms short, if I thought the monster in the corner was laughing hard when I ran out you can imagine how hard he was laughing when my buddies run in with us behind them and click on the light., in one try —and I live there, and find our friend Steve rolling on the floor holding his belly from the pain he’d somehow got ahead of us all then shimmied the sliding glass door open, and then hid in the corner."
"It was just my good luck to be the first person inside to get to experience the sheer terror of a menacing laugh coming from a dark corner 5 feet away."
"THATs The creepiest sound I’ve heard in the dark."- Drnstvns.
Your friends and neighbors
"I was reading a book on my couch, the edge of my couch is right by my front door."
"So about a foot away from my head I hear nails scratching along the door outside."
"And then there came this weird knocking and I said hello and the person on the other side in a really high-pitched voice that was kind of quavery said hello hello hello."
"It ended up being a drunk neighbor who had got fall down drunk peed his pants and couldn't find his way home and, I didn't know that though really scared me those first few minutes."- jenniferandjustlyso.
Bom Dia Hello GIFGiphyHigh alert!
"This is happening rn btw."
" I'm hearing things outside, I'm laid on my couch, I have the feeling of being watched like heavy machinery noises too, and it's not windy here."
"I'm terrified, I have a video up on another app of the noises."- scoobymcpoopers
Music from another room...
"Okay, so for context I had just moved to a new house in almost the middle of nowhere."
"Our neighbors were pretty spaced out from our house and most of the property was surrounded by trees. so, it was my first night sleeping in that house, and I couldn’t fall asleep since it was a new place."
"You know the feeling."
"Anyway, around 3 am, I heard what sounded like opera singing."
"Now i wasn’t too worried about it at first, since I know my mom sometimes can’t sleep and watches opera singers in the middle of the night."
"But no, it wasn’t my mom watching stuff."
"It sounded further away than her room, and it sounded like a woman singing opera and crying at the same time."
"it went on for another hour until it was almost sunrise."
"I never found out what it was but it was super creepy for 12 year old me."
"So glad i moved away."- badgradeskid
West End Walking GIF by Official London TheatreGiphyA figment of my imagination... I hope?
"So it was summer break, and me and my family were staying at a friend's apartment."
"Ok, long story short, one night I randomly woke up in a middle of the night and I saw a black figure just crawling around."
"It looked like a human but wearing fool black with no face."
"BTW, I am an only child and I didn't have a pet back then."
"I was terrified."
"So I started sleeping again hoping that thing wouldn't do anything to me."- COOLMORTALEHYEA1
Might be time to move...
"I have 2 stories."
"One night I was in my living room, just sitting on the couch, watching some show I don't remember, and I hear growling like right on my front door."
"I live in a neighborhood not near any forests so no like wolves, bears, etc."
"So i hear growling and stuff and i just ignore it."
"I go to the store the next morning and see blood on my driveway, and I see a cat across the street and it was messed up, like blood and stuff."
"So I'm guessing a cat fight, cuz I have a couple of cats in my neighborhood."
"My second story, I was in my room and my neighbors are having a party blasting music and stuff."
"A couple minutes later and I hear like a whole f-bomb outside of my house and following that a loud bang."
"I go look outside of my little peeky hole on my door and its my neighbors oldest son walking back to the house with the party."
"I ignore it thinking he kicked the trash bin or something."
"But the next morning, my neighbors have their cameras covered with rags and my car's windshield is shattered and it was their oldest son that hit my windshield."
"I brought it up to them and they said it wasn't, but my friend across the street let me look at their camera footage."- ur_mother6
Baseball Bat Smashing GIF by 070 ShakeGiphyAccidental evesdropping?
"About a year ago, I was awoken from men talking outside of my window."
"I was confused and thought I was just dreaming."
"The talking was almost inaudible, I couldn’t understand a thing."
"It happened again a couple days after that too."
"I moved my bed away from my window shortly after that."- stayedanonymous
Knock Knock...
"Ah, so it was around 3 am."
"i woke up in sweats ,so got up had a glass of cold water and was about to sleep."
"Some freak knocked our door so hard and yelled something."
"I was in complete fear."
"My father got up and checked, it turned out it was a drunk guy."- Revolutionary-Car342
"About a year or two ago, I was awake at around 3am and went downstairs because I needed to use the bathroom, but didn’t want to wake up my family by using the one down the hall."
"As a bit of imagery, my house is quite large with a very open entryway so you can basically see right through my house through the front door and I needed to walk through the entryway to get the the bathroom."
"My front doors have windows."
"I got to the bathroom, went and was about to walk back upstairs."
"I wasn’t in the view of the front door at this point, and I suddenly heard this extremely loud knocking/banging on the door."
"I live in quite a quiet area and this has never happened before and I was scared frozen."
"I needed to go back upstairs, but the stairs are in the view of the front door, so I just sat in the bathroom for like 30 minutes before I built up the courage to go upstairs."
"Unfortunately this was before I had security cameras and my parents didn’t Believe me when I told them."
"I know I wasn’t imagining things though and I’ve never forgotten."
"Safe to say I have not used the downstairs bathroom when I’m the only one awake since."
Angry Excuse Me GIFGiphyThere are certainly benefits to being a night owl.
But one imagines heavy sleepers and those who go early-to-bed are not feeling envious when reading stories like these.
I love the ocean. I love the sea.
But it freaks me out. I hate going to the beach at night because you never know what is lurking in the dark waters.
That's why I could never be a sailor or in the navy. I'd be too nervous about what lies beneath.
Sailing was made fun by Johnny Depp, but you'd have to be as drunk as Jack Sparrow to navigate the life at sea.
We have no idea really about the waters that surround us.
Redditordeaddamselwanted to hear from all the sailors out there, tell us some stories.
It was asked:
"Sailors, what's the creepiest thing you've ever seen or experienced at sea?"
I once was on a fabulous cruise.
I loved the days at sea, but I had a few moments where I feel like I saw and heard some things on the open waters that were questionable.
Especially at night.
Slither
"Hundreds of sea snakes feasting on the bloated corpse of some kind of animal." ~ goat-of-mendes
GiphyAlaska
"On a boat in Alaska recording humpback whale sounds, we picked up an odd, rhythmic noise on the hydrophone. We were on a 100 ft schooner around Admiralty Island, near Juneau."
"Nothing seen on the surface, just this odd repetitious mechanical sound. The skipper contacted the local authorities who seized the tape and spent several hours interviewing him. Not that scary, but surely weird." ~ dvmdv8
Shine
"We had a noise "shine" down on us my second time out. We were smoking and our bridge also saw/heard/ confirmed it."
"It was a pretty bright starry night, but this one area was a little brighter and had this dull washed out shaft appearance to it, a lot like seeing the Milky Way overhead in the sky."
"We passed right by it and there was a cyclical sound like 'WEEwahwahwahWEEwahwahwah' somewhere between a humming and a sort of siren. It wasn't loud, almost more of a frequency, about 3 or 4 miles wide maybe, coming down not quite vertically."
"We could see it every time we checked for over an hour behind us, then we checked and it was totally gone."
"I wasn't horrified or anything, but the creepy part was how quiet everyone was. We all just kind of looked at each other and cracked a few nervous jokes."
"Not as juicy as seeing The Flying Dutchman or something like that, but I still think about it every time I see the night sky."
"Scariest thing? No doubt the 40-50-60ft crests and being at a 45 degree angle for like 10 seconds at a time." ~ AlienSasquatchhunter
floating at the top of a big nothing...
"Not a sailor, but I've spent more time out at sea than most because of my fondness for most boat related stuff. Even though I enjoy being out there, it always has kinda of an eerie feel. I live in the south of Norway, and the North Sea is really dark, even on the most beautiful days you can max see a meter down."
"Well this one time I was out by myself, in a pretty small, about 14 feet boat. It was one of these "not sunny" but still adequate weather days. Well, long story short I lost control over the engine and my boat spun around, landing me just underneath it."
"As I saw mentioned in another post, I have never felt as vulnerable as just then, floating at the top of a big nothing. You know there is nothing for possibly hundreds of feet underneath you."
"Probably the worst part of it is when you have to duck under the boat to get up and away. You just stare down into the abyss. You can choose not to look, but then it's almost just worse. There are no big sharks or that sort here, but still."
"You feel like there is just something, down there in the dark. I managed to keep calm and after about half an hour someone must have spotted me, cause I was soon picked up by the local SAR boat. I still don't like to look down into water, but I will continue enjoying the sea, as long as I am above the surface." ~ VelocityTM1
Flashed
"Not creepy, but saw the Green Flash one morning when I was in the Navy." ~ DEdwardPossum
GiphyFree Willy is not out there just waiting for us.
That was one whale in one movie.
There are a lot more dangerous creatures swimming about.
Noises Off
"Sailing at night and hearing the dolphins surround the boat. You can hear their wakes and blowhole sounds all around you, but you can't see them. It's creepy." ~ upeepsareamazballz
GiphyThe Shape
"Was sailing on a tall ship in the open sea. Good breeze so making 12+ knots and heeled over so hard that, over the rail, you were almost looking straight into the water."
"Out of nowhere a dark gray shape, maybe 20ft long, pulls right up along side us. Just paces us, for 1-2min, right over that starboard rail and keeping up like it's nothing."
"Then it rolls over and we see a bright white belly before it disappears under the waves. To this day I have no idea what it was." ~ Nephroidofdoom
Hallucinations
"I woke up to take a piss. Head was occupied, went to the stern. The entire sea behind the boat was glowing glowing blue."
"My piss stream made these beautiful colors of aquamarine and violet. Thought I was hallucinating or dreaming and went back to bed."
"I stayed awake petrified I had died and was in some sort of alternate reality or something. Told no one for years."
"Found a video online, apparently it's a type of bioluminescent algae. It f'ked with me for far longer than it should." ~ the-goku-special
The Ship Speaks
"Leading Seamen here, nothing scarier then doing a round (walking around exterior decks checking rooms for fires and such) when the ship is under way at night so it's pitch black and only a red flashlight for light and the ships engines are very loud, I always get the sense there's something following you in the dark/if you fell in no one would know for at least 20 minutes or much more." ~ DistributionUpper634
History
"My great uncle never talked about his time in the Navy, but I can absolutely answer this for him. He was at Pearl Harbor during the attack. He also participated in the shelling of Iwo Jima." ~ Abadatha
war hbo GIF by Game of ThronesGiphyI'm good on dry. land.
But mad props and thanks to the people who make their living on the sea.
We need sailors and fishermen.
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