Being a parent can be incredibly challenging - pretty much every parent will tell you that it's one of the hardest things they've ever done in their lives. Strangely, being a parent is also sort of just expected of people.
That seems odd, doesn't it? Marathon runners don't just expect everyone else to run marathons. When you decide to undertake other major challenges, you don't just expect others to do so as well. Somehow, being a parent is different.
There are some people, however, who have no problem standing up against that pressure and saying no - they just don't want kids.
Reddit user Sebulista asked:
People who don't want kids, what are your reasons?
Their responses are pretty enlightening! Some have reasons related to family history, some are more interested in fulfillment in their own lives - and some want to know why they should even have to justify it!
A Messed Up Kid
Primarily because I don't want the responsibility, the stress, and they're expensive. I enjoy being around kids occasionally for short times, but having one full-time would not be fun for me.
I know this is kinda messed up to say, but I also don't want the risk of having a messed up kid. If I knew the child wouldn't have any major problems beforehand I would be more willing to have one.
North Dakota
I don't want kids in the same way I don't want to move to North Dakota: I have no reason to, and it seems unpleasant from my point of view.
"But It's Different..."
I don't like kids, simple as that. People say "But it's different when they're your own." Yeah I can't get away from them, making my situation way worse.
- xxZ3taxx
Revenge
You don't need a reason to not want kids. Mine is that when I was a kid my mom threw away my Pokemon cards. She wants grand kids and by denying her grand kids I am getting my revenge.
- Hizeto
Biggest Fear
Being pregnant/giving birth is my #1 biggest fear.
But also I just don't want them, the same way I don't want to own my own business or play sports. It's not something that interests me. I don't find taking care of children rewarding the way others do.
- Nyxloa
The Family Chemistry Lottery
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Schizophrenia and BiPolar disorder run in my family. My two cousins have five kids between them. With each pregnancy, I was internally screaming WTF are you DOING???
There's two girls and three boys. The eldest are 12. I find myself wondering who's going to win the family chemistry lottery. It should start to show up in about 4-5 years. I wonder how on earth my cousins will handle it.
I told my grandmother that I chose not to have children because of our genetics, and she said "You are a smart girl, because having a child with mental illness will Break. Your. Heart. And it will never stop. Your whole life, it will never stop."
Women Lose Too Much
To me it always seemed like women lose a hell of a lot when they have kids. Your body gets messed up permanently, your career suffers - if you can afford to go back. Childcare is hugely expensive, so a lot of women don't go back to work for years. You never have any time for your own stuff. Men get some of it too, but in my experience I haven't seen it to the same degree.
Above that a lot of women just disappear into being someone's mum, like they never did anything else. I know a lot of women love that, but I really hate that idea for myself. I have an identity of my own and I've worked very hard to get where I am. It frightens me to think that could disappear. Children don't interest me, and for what I would lose in order to raise one, I just don't see what's in it for me.
I guess in a different mindset, I'd think it was worth it, but i just don't care about raising children.
There's No Need
Being pregnant reminds me of Alien, and I just don't want to go through 9 months of agony.
Children consume your life and it's not something I want to trade my current time for. I enjoy my hobbies and I work a 9-5 job.
I want to travel the world throughout my life. I want money to spend on stupid things that I want. I want money and time to give to others that I feel deserve it or are in need.
I'm not maternal, in the general sense. I don't think most babies are cute. I don't want to hold babies. I don't want to care for a baby. I am much happier being in the aunt role.
I just don't feel the need for a child. People around me are having children. The population won't dwindle to nothing, that's for sure. My genetics aren't special. I don't care what my boyfriend and I would look like if we created an offspring and that baby looked like us combined. People who want kids can have kids but there's no reason I need to have kids. My parent's lives won't be less because they don't have grandchildren and my boyfriend and I won't be lonely in 50 years.
Climate Change
Global warming... to ME, it would be unconscionable to bring an innocent life into a world where I couldn't guarantee their safety and health for 80+ years.
Not Worth The Risk
I'm not risking my health for a child.
I'm an unhealthy person in general. I'm fat as hell, I have crippling depression, severe ADHD, and an eating disorder. The medications alone would kill or at least deform the baby. All the other things that happen in my body would yield a very unhealthy baby.
Plus, there's a lot of genetic unpleasantness in my family. We're all pretty smart but all have terrible mental health. I'm not creating a human who's only going to wind up sad all the time.
Weird To Justify
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I always find it weird to justify why I *don't* want something...
Why don't you want a pet elephant? Why aren't you building a spacecraft?
Cause like, why would I....? If *you* want to do that, go right ahead, but imposing your life's choices as a challenge to someone else is just...weird.
This Environment
I can't raise kids in this environment. The hate and cruelty just keeps increasing...
The brainwashing is constant.
- ra_relix
A Better Question
A better question would be, "people who want kids, what are your reasons?". None of them will ever be able to give you an answer other than "I just do" or something that translates directly to it.
The Feeling Of Relief
Never had the feeling, as i was growing up, that i want to be a mom. I was too busy finding my self, taking care of my self, my needs and my dreams and loving my family, friends an significant other. I love to read, to paint, to play video games, RPG or board games and i love my free time. I love to have a life style that allows me to relax after work.
We tried with my SO for a few years to stay pregnant, but didn't happen for medically reasons. I feel that if that happened then (to stay pregnant) i would be a good mom and I would love my kid. But when that didn't happen, the feeling of relief was huge. And when at 39-40 my menopause started (the women in my family had early menopause. My Mom, Grandmom and Aunt at their 40s but my 2 older sisters still have their periods), the choice of maternity left from my hands and I feel really good. I am 43 now and I love my childless life.
Inherited Sensitivity
I have the most well meaning parents, but I'm such a sensitive person that it lead me to several mental issues. I don't want to impose that to anyone, because it'll be my decision to give birth to a human being that will inherit a part, if not all, of this sensitivity. Oh and I'm genuinely terrified of expecting and giving birth.
- Moud_z
Yay Puppies
That biological instinct just isn't kicking in. They said it would, but I am nearing the end of my healthy childbearing years, and I'm still like "ew babies but yay puppies."
Birth Is Immoral
I'm an antinatalist so I believe it is immoral. I've been alive for 20 years and I know that life isn't fair. Life is full of pain and suffering. In this world you're either lucky or you're not.
I don't want to bring a person into this cruel world where they could be subject to being destitute, bullied, murdered, tortured etc.
We have so little control of what other people do. You can follow all the rules and be the most upstanding citizen but there are still people in this world who don't care about the rules/laws.
Ex. Your child could be walking home from school and gets hit by a drunk driver. Now your child is a quadriplegic and a vegetable for the rest of their life. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if this happened. To guarantee this will never happen, I will never have kids.
- Imydie
Hold Procreators Accountable
I don't think people need reasons not to have kids. There are way too many reasons NOT to have them. However, I have yet to see a single reason to have them that isn't selfish, stupid or cruel. We need to start holding procreators accountable, there are way too many humans already. There are way too many children being abused and neglected.
Environmental Damage
I genuinely feel that the environmental damage we have done is to far gone and that we maybe screwed as a species so to have a kid and give it a dying planet doesn't seem right to me.
I Will Turn Out Like My Parents
I did not have a good childhood. I am 25F and I am still realizing that what I considered to be normal is, in fact, not normal at all. Moreover, my parents dreams, pains and beliefs (a lot of them) were handed down to me and I am still struggling with that. I am still under tremendous amount of pressure. There has been quite a lot of trauma. And I am afraid that I will pass down mine to my kid if I ever become a mother.
I don't want anybody to feel the way I feel. My relationship with my parents is strained (obviously). I also think it would be heartbreaking if I have a child, and I make the same mistakes as my parents and I am at the receiving end of so much pain. Sorry for the rant. Basically, I don't want children because I am afraid. I am afraid that they will turn out like me and I will turn out like my parents.
Fireworks Or A Crossbow
I can barely afford to look after myself, why on earth would I drag a kid into that? Also I have my fair share of issues, and I would NOT be a good father. At best I'm that crazy uncle that shows up and gives the kids fireworks. Or a crossbow.
I Have A Dog
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I have a dog that I get upset that I have to walk and play with every damn day (I do, don't worry, she doesn't get neglected.) I don't want my kids to have a parent that isn't excited to spend time with them.
Compensate For My Childhood
Reasons I had before for wanting kids eventually was to be happy raising them, share in my hobbies and interests and hopefully raise someone who would just be happy without any significant trauma. Thinking about it more later, it seemed like I would be trying to compensate for my childhood and potentially force them into doing things they didn't like but I did.
There's also a lot of bad things that can happen outside of the parent's control or the kid's control. Thinking of the worst case scenarios, there's many things that can happen. It's a scary thing. Maybe my mind will change later, but right now I'm happy raising my dogs and I like to think they're happy too.
The old wives' tales.
They are the stories of legend.
I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.
Where did they originate?
WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!
You don't hear about them as much anymore.
It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.
But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.
Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:
"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"
"Wait an hour to swim after eating."
What a crock!
So many summer hours wasted.
I want revenge for that one.
Say Nothing
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"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."
LonelyMail5115
"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."
I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA
Say Something
"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."
Severe_Airport1426
"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."
crappycurtains
"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."
AlbinoShavedGorilla
Body Temps
"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."
chriseo22
"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."
"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."
apocalypticradish
Arms Down
"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."
Fatmouse84
10 Years Actually
Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."
"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."
Gecko-911
I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.
This tale is haunting.
High/Low
Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace
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"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."
LeastFormal9366
"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."
IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI
The Cursed
"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."
"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."
SmoreOfBabylon
Stay In
"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."
"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."
worldbound0514
Dreams and Facts
"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."
"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."
mattshonestreddit
"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."
Darthdemented
Cracked
Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office
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"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."
Choice-Grapefruit-44
"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."
MacyTmcterry
I love my knuckles.
Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.
Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.
More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.
Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.
Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.
Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:
"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"
Don't Give Me So Much Credit...
'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."
"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."
"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."
"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"
"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher
Eternal Optimism...
"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."
"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465
Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...
"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”
"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”
"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia
Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office
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Double Whammy!
"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."
"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93
Can't Hide Your DNA...
'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."
"She cracked the code."
"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93
Self-Sufficient!
"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."
"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."
"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'
"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody
Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations
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A Miracle!
"My brother-in-law’s comment."
"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."
"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."
"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."
"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."
"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."
"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"
"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn
Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...
"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."
"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."
"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."
"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."
"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379
Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K.
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A Bit Too On The Nose?
"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."
"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."
"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."
"'What would you expect to find there?'"
"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB
Not Yet, Anyway...
"I was working with my friend and his dad."
"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."
"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."
"His dad asked, 'what for?'"
"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."
"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890
Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...
"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."
"She told this story to him:"
"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."
"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."
"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."
"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."
"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."
"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."
"She asked him what was wrong."
“'What’s wrong???'"
"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714
On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO
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Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...
"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."
"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52
Read The Room People!
"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."
"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."
"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"
"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl
There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".
As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.