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People Who Only Became A Parent Because Their Partner Wanted Kids Share Their Experiences

People Who Only Became A Parent Because Their Partner Wanted Kids Share Their Experiences
Ben Wicks on Unsplash

Kids are not the ideal option for everyone. Some people are ideally suited to having kids: they want the experience of taking care of and raising another little person with their partner.

But some people are not suited to have kids together. In fact, some people sort of end up playing secondary parent role because they just can't get themselves fully around taking care of a child.

Redditor GymLadyThrowaway asked:

"Parents who didn't want kids but agreed to have them for your partner, do you regret becoming a parent?"

Here were some of those stories.

A Sad Story

"I am the result of someone who shouldn't have had a child for their partner. My mother had me because my father wanted a daughter after already having a son. Which he got."

"However, my mother blamed me for a lot of things she was unhappy about because of it. She said she never got fat until she had me. That I was a brat who acted just like my father."

"(They split when I was 12) She was only nice to me during their divorce when she used me to do things to get back at my dad. She was a cold person to me in general."

"Not only was it clear she didn't love me, she didn't even like me. However, the sun has always risen and set right out my brother's rear end if you ask her."

"As weird as this sounds, I'm almost grateful for it. She taught me what not to do with my own kids. And I know I'm a better parent than she was for it."-Fun_Recording_4935

Now I Love My Bb

"No, I don't. I didn't have one for my partner per se, but got pregnant surprisingly after he was told he was sterile after chemotherapy."

"I had never wanted kids but he had always wanted more (he had a child from a previous relationship) and was thrilled that I was pregnant. The worst part was that he died from cancer before our child was born, so he never got to meet her."

"But I don't regret being a parent, even though I hadn't thought it was in the cards for me. I've definitely grown as a person as a result and cherish having that part of my late partner still here, doing great things and being a great person".

"She's a terrific part of life and I wouldn't change a thing. But I definitely don't want any more children. I'm definitely a 1 child-parent.

"That being said, I can understand people who do have regrets. Being a parent is neither easy nor is everyone capable of it for various reasons."-ComposerBeautiful875

My Daddy!

"My ex revealed after we had our daughter that even though he said he was on board with being a parent before we started trying to get pregnant, he was actually still massively hesitant at the time. Learning that kind of pissed me off."

"But I couldn't stay mad because he told me that while explaining how deeply he loved being a dad and how much that surprised him. He and our kid are two peas in a pod."

"She's two, and she talks about him non-stop. Everything is 'My daddy!' this and 'My daddy'" that. We're not together anymore, but I don't even mind that my daughter seems to prefer him over me because I never had a good relationship with my dad. I love how invested he is in her."

"That being said, I do know people who regret being parents, so I don't recommend doing what my ex did. If you don't want kids enthusiastically, don't potentially ruin your own life and a child's. It really hurts being the child of someone who doesn't know how to love you."-pendulousfunbags

Children can really turn your life around, for better or for worse.

The Opposite Of What You Thought

"Wow. Great question. I DID NOT want kids. After 12 years of marriage, my wife informed me that was always the plan. I quit research, had the first (daughter) and she had the second (son)."

"She was unable to change her lifestyle for said kids. The kids and I suffered emotional, narcissistic abuse for years. They are my best friends, REALLY kind, smart adults."

"I see ex maybe twice a year. You really never know how things will turn out. I do not regret having kids."-string1969

Love And Like Are Not The Same

"Not exactly the thing you're asking for, but...My husband thought he wanted kids. But he quickly realized he doesn't enjoy parenting."

"He's insanely proud of his kids. He also likes doing activities with them on the weekend, but it's the activities he enjoys more than the company. He doesn't enjoy being a dad, and that will never change."

"Me, I enjoy my kids' company. I like talking to them, helping them through things. I stop and appreciate who they are (right now) because they're going to be totally different in a year, and I will regret missing little things once they're grown up. I love the little shit they do."

"He couldn't care less. They annoy him, mostly. But I don't think he regrets them. He loves his kids, but he doesn't like being around them all that much."-GingerMau

Once Again, Worth The Bull

"Ex got pregnant, claimed she was on the pill. Definitely didn't want kids but that changed when my son was born. 13 months later she was pregnant again, and again said she was on the pill."

"Wasn't sure about another kid with her but it happened anyway. And both my sons have turned out to be pretty good kids and now terrific adults. I even got custody when their mom and I divorced."

"This year for my 60th birthday, they took me on a Route 66 road trip. And a month ago, my younger son had a daughter so now I'm a grandpa. I wouldn't have it any other way. I was absolutely miserable most of my marriage but I'd do it again to have my kids."-scottwax

Angry Babies Make History

"If you had asked me this question during the first year, I would have said 'Yes.' Our daughter was (and is still)...something else. Angriest baby I've ever seen."

"It was like she was getting back at us for taking her out of the cozy uterus. Screamed constantly even when completely taken care of (and with no digestive issues)."

"She'd get upset if we cuddled her, she barely smiled or laughed, wouldn't breastfeed, didn't like toys - all the things that are supposed to stir up the bonding chemicals in your brain weren't available to us."

"Meanwhile, we couldn't list a single thing she liked. Weren't even sure we were on that list. We really had a tough time bonding, as a result. We both spent moments wondering if we'd made a mistake becoming parents."

"She just turned 4. She's still the most stubborn, strong-willed human I've ever met - bar none. She can be a massive pain in the @ss."

"She also has a beautiful, vibrant imagination and a deep capacity for kindness. She's eloquent and can make conversation with anyone, kid or adult."

"She loves music, baking, drawing, doing silly voices, telling stories, building things, and now...hugging. She's f**king amazing and one of my favorite people in the world."

"You get to know this entirely new person. And who they are, what they show you about themselves as they get older and can express it in more complex ways, overwhelms every sh*tty moment."

"And eventually, as you understand more and more about them, you start to have less and less of those. Most beautiful experience I've ever had that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I wouldn't do a thing differently if given the choice."-LiterateNoob

But if you lean into the experience of raising a child, you might just find something more deep and lovely than you'd bargained for.

The Saddest State Of Affairs

"Not me, but I know a woman who had a child because her partner (at the time) was pro-life and against abortion. She made herself seem like she was religious etc which was a lie."

"Anyways, it seems like she regrets having that child because she just doesn't give a sh*t. Doesn't take care of her, just let's her play on her cell phone."

"Feeds her nothing but garbage food. Doesn't stay on top of her health, no dr appts or dental appts. The girl has really bad hygiene, matted hair, and has missed so much school she's failing every single class. The daughter notices that her mother doesn't love her."-noorofmyeye24

Legends Only

"My Mrs talked me into it. I never wanted any kids, especially with the state of the world now. Fast forward 3 years and I have a 2-year-old daughter and a newborn daughter."

"They are my world and I love them with all my being. I absolutely don't regret it one bit. My family makes me smile every time I think of them."

"Trick is to set them up for life with knowledge, humility and a decent financial head start. It worries me that it will be hard for them when they're older so I'm currently working my a** off to ensure they have a real good head start in the world. They're awesome. Little legends."-monkeyboyshredshred

A Nudge Or Simply Chance

"Nope. I was always hesitant about having kids. I didn't exactly grow up with positive male role models in my life so I wasn't about to tie myself to a c*nt for the rest of my life by having their child."

"I met my current partner and he expressed his desire to have kids and I told him I was on the fence about it. Eventually I felt I could trust his intentions enough to have a kid with him and so far, so good."

"I love being a parent though, my son is my world and it's incredible watching him grow up."-GreenieBeeNZ

Each and every decision to have a child is personal, and some people may choose, ultimately, never to have or raise a child. That decision is valid.

However, sometimes people need the thing they are the most afraid of. Sometimes, the thing that causes you dread just in thinking about it will become your ultimate life teacher. Having a kid definitely qualifies in that space.

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People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.