Some things need to be banished from this planet – like fruitflies.
Seriously, what is their general purpose in life other than to annoy us?
Where do they even come from? One summer, I thought I got rid of them after reading online you can have a glass of vinegar or red wine and cover the top with saran wrap that has holes poked in it to trap the small flies once they are lured in by the sharp aroma.
It worked. However, a few mornings later, there was a new legion of fruitflies buzzing around my bananas. Damn them! They can just f'k right off!
Reddit WolfBearPup wanted to know what things in life people wanted out of their lives by asking:
"What can just f*** right off?"
Insects
How can something so small be annoying AF? Because when there's a swarm of them, it's an absolute nightmare.
Crawlies
"Ticks and all of the diseases they carry."
"Limes can F'K RIGHT OFF"
They Come Out At Night
"Cockroaches + their flying cousin."
"I was on a bar once and a cockroach flow into MY NECK!!!! Urgh. Oh god. F'k it right off."
Blood Suckers
"Mosquitoes."
"Mosquitoes I can handle. They are awful, and I will scratch myself till I bleed. But ticks... they pretty much make me want to rip off and burn all my clothing then scald myself in the shower. I hate them, so, so much. My grandparents had them on their property, my grandma's dog took off into the bushes once then came back and my grandmother said she could just see her fur writhing with ticks."
My grandma would sit on the floor with the dog until she picked them all off. I know she pulled 137 out of the dog's hair in one session once. They'd also fall off the dog and scurry off into the house waiting to find you. F'k them, f'k ticks and their lyme disease and general creepiness."
Winged Nuissance
"Ugh and flies. They're too f'king dumb. Always flying in circles and going back and forth, always missing the door/window opening to get out. Just choose where you wanna go, and go there!!!"
Behavior
Some people just really rub us the wrong way.
Irresponsible Shoppers
"People that don't return their shopping carts to the corral. We live in a society."
"I would also add parking lots that don't have enough corrals. Each row needs at least one corral, it is a nightmare getting a cart between cars."
– willstr1
Don't Kill The Messenger
"Retail worker here. For me it's people who get aggressive when they think the price of something is too high. What am I gonna do about it? Seriously?"
– vegewis
Entitled Smokers
"I'm ready to yeet the people who try to argue over the price of cigarettes. I don't make the prices, I have to abide by them. The gas station I worked at in 2018/2019 was a block down from the county line. The other county has a huge city and that county has high cigarette and alcohol taxes. Newports were just under $10 when I left. The other county was $12.73 the last I heard from customers. I had people flip and demand Newports for $5-6 per pack and let the drawer be short. I told them either pay the price or go to the Speedway up the street."
Invisible Annoyance
You can't see them, but you know they're there.
Mental Health
"Depression, anxiety, and all other mental health disorders in general."
"They can feel so heavy and so incredibly hard to f'k off. You tell them to f'k off and they just don't f'k off. So yeah. They can f'k RIGHT off."
Migraines
"A headache that's starting to build."
"I've replied to hundreds of comments and f*cked a lot of things off, but I think I finally need to sleep. If I didn't get to you I'm sorry! I hope some kind souls f"k some sh*t right off for you!!! I'm completely knackered."
"Whatever is troubling you can f'k right off!!!"
The Viral Pathogen
"[The virus]"
"Please. Please let it f'k right off."
These Have Overstayed Their Welcome – Yet Were Never Welcomed
"Cancer. Parkinsons. Alzheimers."
"I'm terrified of Alzheimers after watching my grandma develop it. Yeah. It can absolutely f'k off."
It's pretty evident there are a lot of things that should rightfully be wiped from existence.
But based on the personal experiences shared on this subReddit, the biggest offenders were not pesky pests that can be exterminated.
Mankind's real enemies were of the microscopic variety – including the virus responsible for the pandemic and a number of diseases like cancer that can't just be swatted away.
They can most certainly f'k off for good. It's just time.
"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"
Yo Mamma!
"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."
"Kid: 'where you going?'"
"Friend: 'your moms house'."
"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."
"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott
Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!
"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."
"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."
"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"
"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza
If You Can't Take Heat...
"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."
"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."
"When this dbag saw him."
"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”
"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.”
"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeader
Cute Gif Reaction GIFGiphyThe Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...
"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."
"That people are talking behind his back."
"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"
"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit
Seriously, Mind Your Own Business
"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"
"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit
Take It Like A Real Man!
"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."
"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"
"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-Drop
James Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyWhen You Get The Teacher In Stitches...
"English class in Middle School."
"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."
"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."
"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."
"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."
"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni
Living Up To His Reputation
"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."
"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."
"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03
When They Go Low, You Go High!
"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."
"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."
"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"
"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirek
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphyLogical...
"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."
"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."
"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit
It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.
Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.
Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.
