"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"
Yo Mamma!
"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."
"Kid: 'where you going?'"
"Friend: 'your moms house'."
"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."
"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott
Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!
"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."
"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."
"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"
"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza
If You Can't Take Heat...
"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."
"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."
"When this dbag saw him."
"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”
"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.”
"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeader
Cute Gif Reaction GIFGiphyThe Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...
"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."
"That people are talking behind his back."
"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"
"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit
Seriously, Mind Your Own Business
"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"
"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit
Take It Like A Real Man!
"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."
"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"
"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-Drop
James Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphyWhen You Get The Teacher In Stitches...
"English class in Middle School."
"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."
"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."
"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."
"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."
"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni
Living Up To His Reputation
"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."
"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."
"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03
When They Go Low, You Go High!
"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."
"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."
"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"
"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirek
Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphyLogical...
"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."
"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."
"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit
Keep It Simple
"You're doodoo."
"My friend's answer."- Kazuhiko101
Wonder Why This Didn't Work Out...
"Ok so just to set the scene a bit."
"When I was with my ex, we both had very different attitudes to time-keeping and work."
"I am a self-employed, dyslexic with A.D.D who at the time worked in the live music industry so I had to always be very punctual and organized."
"My partner at the time was an english literature student, who was maybe the most disorganized person I had met."
"My ex would lose 3 or 4 phones a year, got fired from jobs every few months because they always turned up late and had to repeat a semester of uni because my ex didn't do enough work and/or wouldn't turn up some times."
"In a nutshell my ex was late for everything all the time."
"Despite all this my ex was always annoyed at me for leaving home early to go to work and always turning up on time because I was too punctual according to them."
"As if this is a bad thing."
"You can now see why we are not together any more."
"So one day, and this is probably due to my dyslexia, A.D.D and the fact that I am aware of it, I leave my ex's apartment early to go to work on Tuesday."
"When I get to work I realize that I've made a mistake and I've mixed up Tuesday with Thursday."
"Feeling a bit silly I phone my partner at the time and tell them I've mixed my days up and can come back to their apartment."
"We laugh it off as a stupid mistake but my ex see's it as me being so punctual that I turn up to work two days early."
"Now that I've explained the back story."
"My ex thinks it's a good time to bring it up again in the pub with myself all their pals."
"This is how it goes."
"My ex: 'omg you'll never guess what'."
"My ex's pals: 'What?'"
"My ex: 'So my partner takes their job so seriously and is so punctual that they turned up to work two days early. They turned up on Tuesday when they were supposed to work on Thursday Hahahahah."
"My ex's pals and myself: Hahahahahaha'."
"Myself: Yeah my partner is so late for everything that they had to repeat a semester of university!!! HAHAHAHAH'."
"My ex's pals: 'HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA!'"
"My ex: 'I don't find this funny'."
"Myself: 'I do'."
"Still makes my chuckle to this day."
"We split up a few years later."
"Took them 2 months to clear their stuff out."- surfinbear1990
Not Funny GIF by Simon Rex / Dirt NastyGiphySibling Rivalry...
"My older brother was getting messed with by our older sister holding her baby and saying."
"'So, how you and your Ex doing?'"
"They broke up several weeks ago."
"'You gonna get back together? You gonna say you miss her and want her? You want send her some kisses?'"
"Something along those lines."
"The usual sibling kind of messing around."
"So as the little brother I step in and say."
"'Oh is that how you and your boyfriend got back together?'"
"My older sis stays silent while my bro laughs and I kill both of them as follow up and say 'now we have our niece'."- Shadow_Storm21
Divine Intervention
"So my boyfriend's dad is a priest and my boyfriend's big brother got bullied for that by another guy who said 'my dad is much cooler than yours' and stuff like that ."
"So my boyfriend's brother said back 'your dad is probably cooler than mine but my dad can bury your dad and get paid for it'."- Lill_Amalie
happy grumpy cat GIFGiphyDon't Touch The Hair!
"I have really curly hair."
"Genetics from my father."
"My father lost his hair years ago so basically he’s bald."
"And whenever I wake up in the morning, my hair is literally in the air."
"Not kidding, it either looks like an Eiffel Tower or I look like Chewbacca."
"Because of COVID-19 my father is stuck in another country."
"Here’s how one of our conversations went one morning after I woke up."
"My father: 'Be careful [my name] your hair might get stuck in the fan."
"Hahaha."
"Me: 'You don’t have any fans nor any hair! Ahah!'"
"I still find it funny thinking my 9yr old brain to reply like that."- Myra_Akido2020
Petty Threats
"This happened between friends, but it was still hilarious."
" Friend 1 'Shut up or I'll egg your house'."
"Friend 2: 'You can't even afford eggs'."- JoeyBad_SaladTour
It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.
Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.
Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.
"What discontinued thing do you really want brought back?"
One And Done
"Paying once for work software, like Microsoft word or Adobe PDF, and actually owning it thereafter without having to pay a monthly subscription fee."- dusmeyedin
So Much More Than Instructions
"Physical video game manuals or magazines."
"They were so f*cking cool before and then they decided to just stop doing them."-
Film Over Digital Any Day!
"Kodachrome ."
"I grew up looking at photos my amateur photographer father took on the stock."
"When I got old enough to start taking pictures myself they discontinued it."
"Nothing captures colors quite the same way."- iehsuen
women in film cinematography GIF by This Is What A Film Director Looks LikeGiphyBring Back The Lock And Key!
"Not having to download an app for everything."
"The pool at my apartment complex is only accessible by scanning a QR code on a specific app just for the pool now."
"It's ridiculous."- LowerPatience207
The Way Apple Pie Should Be!
"Deep-fried McDonald’s apple pie."
"The one from the 1980s to 1990s."
"The one that was crispy and the temperature of molten plutonium inside."
"That was the best."- newnhb1
Bonus Purchases!
"Getting a poster that is a map of the game world with the purchase of a game."- Bubbly_Information50
"Surprises in the cereal boxes!"
"Not the 'enter two codes inside on our website' bull."
"Actual, physical THINGS in a package floating somewhere in that box of Cheerios!"- sathil-42
general mills cereal GIFGiphyCake In A Box!
"The Philadephia Cheesecake Bars."
"I loved the strawberry ones, I can't remember if there were other flavors."- CrimsonRaven712
Everyone's Entitled To Their Opinion...
"The dislike option on YouTube."- TheKillerNut
"Dislike button on YouTube and Amazon."
"F*cking fuckups always fucking with sh*t."
"You're not fixing broken things, so f*ck off."
"Thank you for letting me vent."
"Apologies to sensitive eyes."
"On the flip side, can we discontinue that steaming pile of sh*t called Microsoft Teams?"- NeverEnoughCoffeeMan
Those Were The Good Old Days...
"Borders bookstores."- TripotapusRex
People Hello GIF by InnovatorsBoxGiphyBitesize Heaven!
"Butterfinger bb’s."- Ok_Tank2946
Caffeine At It's Finest!
"I want 7-11 to bring back their coffee slurpee."
"It sounds bad but mix it with coke and it’s the best thing ever."- williambilliam272
Even Better Than The Real Thing!
"The banana ice cream thing."
"It's a banana shape ice cream under a peel and you peel it off, and bam the delicious flavor hits."- Comfortable_Ad8409
Banana Bread GIF by Super SimpleGiphy9 out of 10 Dentists Would Agree...
"Chewing gum without artificial sweetener."- Lord_Curtain
Who Cares About One's Breath...
"O'Ryan's Thick-Cut Sour Cream and Onion Ripple Chips."
"They were loaded with seasoning and I loved them as a kid."- Tortoisefly
The Trifecta!
"Arch Deluxe, Crystal Pepsi, and free Hulu lol."- LittleWhip138
Arch Deluxe Burger GIFGiphyAnd Not From A Tree...
"Old fruit snacks."- Pittmanizzle
Nothing Beats A Little Morning Chocolate
"Carnation chocolate chip breakfast bars."
"I loved them and they don't even make them anymore."- jibek_kwe
Bite Sized Valentine...
"Campinos."
"I loved those strawberry sweets and nothing else is like them."- LavitzandDart
Food Raining GIF by mybluGiphyFrom horseradish and cheddar potato chips to Game Boys, we all have things we wish would make a return.
However, sometimes not having access to things we once loved is just what it takes to encourage ourselves to try a new experience.
...Only to find it discontinued five years later.
"What's the best answer to being called ugly ?"
Always Rely On The Classics
"Classic Cyrano de Bergerac: 'I give you this to work with, and that's the best insult you can come up with?'"- Terpsichorean_Wombat
You Must Know This From Experience
‘"Hopefully that’s all we have in common.’"- Annoying_pain_in_a**
That The Best You Can Do!
"I've been called worse things from better people."- That-End-322
Unimpressed Viola Davis GIFGiphyThe Bar Is Certainly Low
"'And even I wouldn't f*ck you'."- elenchusis
Blessing In Disguise... Or Just A Blessing!
"I once had a guy tell me that he would find me attractive if I wasn’t fat."
"I basically went 'whew! Good thing I’m fat!'”- Low-Stick6746
“'Thanks, its a relief to know that someone like you doesn't find me attractive'”- greedthecurious
Reassuring Jimmy Fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphyYou Think You're The First?!
"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me ugly, you'd think I was handsome."- GreyFoxNinjaFan
Not Afraid To Bring Your Mother Into This!
"I've got a face only a mother would love, and your mother loves me very much!"- fenris_dallocort
Learn From The Greats
"A quote from Lincoln after he was called 2 faced:"
"'If I was two faced, do you think I would choose this one to wear?'"- Layer-Motor
abraham lincoln net art GIFGiphyTell Me Something I Don't Know...
"Just go 'and?' and look at them all confused as if they just pointed out something irrelevant about you, like the color of your hair."
"People really break when you give them an anticlimactic reaction."- Particular_Fudge4856
It's sad to think that people have nothing better to do than to make demeaning comments about others.
Making them all the more deserving of all the clap-backs listed above.
Plus many, many more.
But nostalgia won when consumers started enjoying the novelty of the classic medium for listening to their favorite music artists.
While vinyl is a niche interest, the public doesn't seem to have a problem with its making a comeback.
Not everything is missed, however, especially when it comes to trends and certain behaviors.
Curious to hear what strangers online might object to most, Redditor prettygirljess0092 asked:
"What’s an old trend that you’re afraid will come back?"
People could seriously do without these becoming popular again.
Tasting The Goods
"Where they lick foods at supermarkets and not get caught."
– X275S
"I can't believe that was a trend."
– PiggyNoDance
Unnecessary Ornamentation
"Tying an onion to your belt."
– LondonIsBoss
No Rest For The Wicked
"Working from the office every day."
– NerimaJoe
Hazy Dining
"Smoking inside restaurants."
– bubbles2pop
Shortchanging Staff
"Employers getting their way and going back to paying min wage and then convince people they are lucky to have a job."
– Sharpshooter188
These elaborate pranks and stunts don't need to come back ever.
Prank Call
"Swatting. I've only heard of one case this year. Hopefully, the repercussions prevent anyone from ever making a fake call to any emergency service."
– ModeratelyAmateur
Once something's out of style, it should stay in the past for all time.
The Greeting
"Bros greeting each other with a backhand to the sack."
– SourFix
Low-Riders
"Boys wearing pants below their boxers. Used to be some kids at school that wore them as low as their knees... Took forever for them to waddle to class."
– siyl1979
Denim Disaster
"Low rise jeans & they aren't far away from what I hear."
– dragonfly-1001
Forms of protest.
"Witch burning."
– JLD1981
Bad Blaze
"The book burning trend."
"It is usually just a step away from burning people."
– mvrk3
If vinyl can make a comeback, low-hanging jeans may not be far behind if there's a demand for it.
Unfortunately, the same can be said with pranks and other harmful stunts mentioned earlier in this thread, like swatting.
As long as there are nitwits and ignoramuses looking for a good time at people's expense, it could be just a matter of time.
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