People Share The Greatest Comebacks To An Insult They've Ever Heard
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash

It's always sad when people don't have anything better to do than throw insults at people.

And yet it happens far too often, between people who see each other on a fairly regular basis, as well as complete strangers.

It's always a good idea to avoid sinking to their level when this happens, and just ignore them and walk on by.

That being said, there is very little more satisfying than coming back at them with just the right choice of words, and leaving them in stunned silence.


Redditor random-joe-shmoe was curious to learn the all time best comebacks people heard to any and all insults, leading them to ask:
"What is the greatest comeback to an insult you’ve ever heard?"

Yo Mamma!

"My best friend: After an argument with some kid from our school in a shop we began walking away down the street..."

"Kid: 'where you going?'"

"Friend: 'your moms house'."

"Kid: 'my mom lives the other way idiot'."

"Friend: 'Nah, i meant your real mom'.”- FourShott

Don't Tell Me How To Do My Job!

"Air Traffic Control doing a poor job of vectoring an Airbus A330 in for landing."

"Pilot: 'You've left us too high, I don't think we can make the approach'."

"ATC: "You've got speedbreaks on that thing, don't you?'"

"Pilot: (After a noticeable pause) 'Yes, but those are for my mistakes, not yours'."- DerpDishPizza

If You Can't Take Heat...

"A friend in high school on our way to a track meet."

"He was staring at a car in the parking that was really nice."

"When this dbag saw him."

"Dbag: 'Why bothering looking at that when you know you’ll never be able to get one?'”

"My friend: 'The same reason you watch porn'.

"The entire bus erupted and it’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard."- RedIguanaLeader

Cute Gif Reaction GIFGiphy

The Only Thing Worse Than People Talking About You?...

"A dude in my class called out a semi friend of mine."

"That people are talking behind his back."

"In fact, that wasn’t the case, as far as I know, and that guy said: 'Well you know what the say about you?'"

"'Nothing, nobody f*cking cares'.“ Reddit

Seriously, Mind Your Own Business

"So there was 2 girls fighting and one of them looks at my sister who was minding her own business and says: you go to hell too!"

"My sister: do you want me to say anything to your mom?" - Reddit

Take It Like A Real Man!

"It's gotta be the Aliens locker room scene for me."

"Hudson: 'Hey Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?'"

"Vasquez: 'No, have you?'"- Mike-Drop

James Cameron Aliens GIF by 20th Century Fox Home EntertainmentGiphy

When You Get The Teacher In Stitches...

"English class in Middle School."

"Kid A - 'yo, Kid B, your mama waited on me at McDonalds last night'."

"'Must feel like sh*t having a mom that works at McDonalds'."

"Kid B- 'at least MY mom gets out of bed to go to work'."

"English teacher far louder than he realized 'DAYUM!'."

"The rest of us were laughing so hard, the teacher next door popped her head in to see what was going on."- Nutella_Zamboni

Living Up To His Reputation

"Context: John Oliver from HBO interviews Stephen Hawking (may he rest in peace)."

"JO: 'And there may be a universe where I am more intelligent than you?'."

"SH: 'There may even be a universe where you are funny'."- bugfish03

When They Go Low, You Go High!

"Overheard by me, the school bus driver."

"One fifth grade student was belittling a first grader."

"When it was time for a comeback, first grader shouts out, 'Congratulations!'"

"The bewildered fifth grader had nothing to say and went to sit down with her friends in the back of the bus."- emzirek

Jeff Goldblum What GIF by The Late Late Show with James CordenGiphy

Logical...

"Joe Pyne interviewing Frank Zappa."

"Joe: 'I guess your long hair makes you a woman'."

"FZ: 'I guess your wooden leg makes you a table'." Reddit

It's sad when people have nothing better to do than belittle others.

Making it hard to feel that they get just what they deserve when someone school's them with a clever comeback.

Hopefully teaching them to use their time a bit more wisely going forward.

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