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People Describe The Creepiest Experiences They've Had While Camping

People Describe The Creepiest Experiences They've Had While Camping
Tommy Lisbin on Unsplash

Being one with nature also means being one with all nature has to offer. Sometimes, that's more of a curse than a blessing.

Nature is vast and fascinating, and as such, much of it remains unknown.

Encounters with the unknown are not the most desirable outcome of a trip that is supposed to be fun.

It can, in fact, taint the experience.


A Redditor whose username has been deleted asked:

"Whats the creepiest thing thats happened when you were camping or alone?"

Here were some of those answers.


Leaves And Screams

"Solo camping for the first time, in tent struggling to sleep and all of a sudden hear what sounds like a demon screaming and beating it’s chest. Then another one. Then another one…"

"Turns out koalas make fkn bloodcurdlingly horrible noises at night." -hahaswans

A Simple Trip To The Loo

"I was on a roadtrip by myself and stopped to camp in a small national park in New South Wales. It was off peak so I thought I was completely alone there."

"I found out I wasn't alone when a car came slowly past my camp from further inside the park. It drove around the corner and then about 5 mins later came back slowly driving back into the park again."

"I was pretty weirded out and I wasn't sure if I should leave or not. About 2 hours later after dark the car did another slow creepy drive by of my camp."

"This time I watched it to see where it was going through my binoculars. I saw it stop by the toilet block and realised it was just somebody too lazy to walk to the toilet and they were driving slowly not to disturb me! Sometimes I have too much imagination for my own good lol." -4tehlulz

Hey All You Cool Cats And Kittens

"Once camping in a safari in Africa on the open wild lions protecting from the rain leaned on my tent to sleep under the small canopy."

"I could literally hear them breathing inches away from me and see the tent move as they did. To make it worse I had diarrhea and needed desperately to go. It lasted the whole night."

"We were so close even my fart could trigger them. I honestly thought I’d either have a heart attack or be eaten. Wife woke up in the am completely oblivious. Worst night of my life."-No-Wifi2077

These experiences were so harrowing, they might make you rethink camping at all.

Awooo Awoooooo

"I got a job in another city after six months of unemployment. My sister lived there and said I could stay in her guest bedroom in the basement while they were away in California. Her house was on the very northwest tip of the city and it was January and bitterly cold."

"The very first night I was there I woke up at 1:30am to the sounds of children screaming and wailing. It was so eerie and frightening that I never wandered upstairs to investigate. I just laid there and covered my ears for thirty minutes before it either died down or I fell asleep."

"The next day my sister texted from Disneyland. I asked her if there were kids in her neighborhood who wandered around at night scaring the neighbours. She laughed and said I’d met the local coyotes."-tangcameo

Just A Baby, Go Back To Sleep

"I lived in a tent for a couple summers. One night while sleeping in my hammock I heard an animal sound near by. It was pitch black so I cant see it."

"I’m trying to guess what it is by the sounds it’s making. Not a deer, too fast for a raccoons, doesnt sound like one of my drunken friends. There are bears and coyotes in my area."

"It gets really close to me then I don’t hear it moving for awhile. I think I hear it breathing but maybe not. After a minute I turn in my headlamp and its right next to me and it immediately jumps on to my hammock!"

"It was my buddy’s black lab. He didn’t close the door to his van all the way and he got out. Spent the night cuddled in my hammock."-DannyLameJokes

Will The Sky Fall?

"This happened in the Finland State Forest in Northern Minnesota over the month of August in 2013. I was a fairly fit 34 year old male and have been doing 5-10 trips a year since I was 18. The state forests in MN allow you to disperse camp (camp anywhere you want) as long as you follow 'Leave no trace' principals and aren't on the side major roads."

"I mostly backpack solo since I love the feeling being completely alone in a natural setting. Since there are no clear places to set up a tent, I typically sleeping a backpacking hammock (tarp, hammock, quilt). This particular trip, I was about 4 hiking hours off the road making my own way through an area that I have been wanting to explore for a while."

"It was starting to get late in the day and I decided to set up in this nice maple forest area that wasn't too far from a nice clearing with an overlook. Ever year I read stories about trees falling on people and killing them while they sleep. so I like maples since they don't have as many trees with dead tops (widow makers) as you find in a Birch or Pine forest."

"I don't usually have a fire when I disperse camp since there isn't a fire ring and it's a bit of a hassle most of the time. I do gather materials to make a fire should I need one in an emergency though. After eating my dinner, hanging my food, and going to the bathroom, I decide it's time to read a bit on my kindle and fall asleep."

"After a couple hours of sleep, I find my self awake with a sense of unease. I am a pretty light sleeper when I camp solo, so I wasn't too alarmed by this, but then I hear loud footfalls in the woods and realized this is why my body woke me up. It sounds like a person walking through the leaves, but it honestly could be any animal making its way through the woods."

"After about 30 seconds, the footfalls stop and I then hear a massive creak and a thump from a tree being knocked over and hitting the ground. Ok, that's a bit odd...probably a bear doing what bears do. Then I hear the footfalls again and they are getting closer to where I am sleeping in my hammock. Silence again...followed by another tree being pushed over."

"F**k. I'm debating do get out and try to scare this thing away or just stay quiet and hope it moves on. It's a cloudy night and it dark as it can get. I can't even see my hand in front of my face. I don't want to put my headlamp on and draw it's attention my way."

"There is nothing but silence for what seems like forever. Then I hear more footfalls...getting closer still....groaning tree....whump on the ground. I could feel the tree hit the ground this time. I'm not going to die in my hammock and this thing knows I'm over here. So I hop out and start screaming as loud as I could scream."

"I throw rocks into the woods and make an unholy racket. I hear something run away from me and then it was gone. I decided I needed to let my adrenaline subside, so I started my emergency fire and ate a quick snack. Sunrise was only 3 hours away, but I wasn't going to stick around after that."

"So I tore down my kit and set off towards my car via my GPS. I arrived at my car mid morning and felt paranoid that I was being followed the entire time I hiked back. As I was driving home, I was reflecting on how I specifically chose an area far away from any noticeable dead trees and how bizarre it was to have three trees fall like that."

"It was probably a bear rubbing down it's itchy back...my imagination told me it was a bigfoot and it was messing with me. I still solo backpack, but the experience still puts me on edge on when I am alone in my hammock at night."-outrushoutdoors

Oh...Hey Stranger...

"Back in 2010, my brother, cousin, their girlfriends, and myself were driving out to eastern Washington to camp in the middle of nowhere. We had been driving for several hours, guys in the front car and ladies in a second rear car, and it was just past sunset by the time we made it to the turn off to go down into the canyon."

"As we turned off the main road, something really weird caught my eye and I made some comment like 'Wow that was really weird...' and my cousin turns around wide eyed asking if I saw something too."

"My mind was kind of registering it still and realized I saw what looked like some eerily human like shape standing at the bend in the turn with ragged clothes, and a bloodstained shirt. My cousin confirmed he saw it too and my brother who was driving was getting creeped out and asked us to drop the subject because he didn't see anything."

"We drop it because yeah, no wreckage around and we probably just saw a weird road sign. So anyway we drive the last 20 minutes down into this valley and pull up to our remote spot and start unpacking the car."

"When the girlfriends get out of their car, they ask us if we saw the creepy expressionless figure that looked like it had a bloody ragged shirt on staring at our cars as we passed them to go down into the canyon..."-BroboticRobot

Any one of these happening even once is enough for a lifetime of trauma.

The Woman In White

"My extended family went on a big camping trip together as a last vacation for my grandpa before he passed away. My older brother and I (about 15 and 13) shared a tent. The camp was set up in a small clearing in the woods but nearby there was this really large open field with waist high grass."

"My brother and I had our tent closer to this field so we could see out into it, while still nestled in the trees. We were well away from any town, and there were no houses or whatnot nearby."

"In the middle of the night I had a VERY creepy dream and sat straight up. For a moment I just caught my breath and tried to calm down, but then noticed my older brother sitting up as well. He asked what happened and I told him I had a weird dream, he said he had one as well and described my EXACT dream."

"We both dreamed we were watching out the tent window while a woman walked out into the middle of the field and with a very piercing voice sang a song that started beautiful but became creepier and creepier as she slowly turned to first face our tent, and then begin approaching it."

"We both woke up when she got close enough to see her face, which was screwed up and looked pissed. He even described exactly what she was wearing and everything. We opened the tent window and checked out but nothing was out there."

"We still weren't able to sleep and the next morning we moved our tent to the opposite side of the camp. It's engraved on my mind and I'm sure I will never be able to forget it. I don't really believe in ghosts but I have no clue what happened to us out there."-AnEsteemedCactus

How To Save A Life

"Went camping with my family once. Around 2 am everyone was asleep but I woke up because someone was trying to open my tent which i had a lock on it inside. I waited to see what this person will try to do and they kept trying to unzip the tent but nothing so they went to the next tent and I took my flashlight and a knife I had."

"Peeked outside and saw this lady who looked like she was beaten and she looked like she was desperately trying to hide. I called my dad and he got out with everyone to see what the commotion was. This lady was terrified and told us her and her boyfriend were down the road when someone ambushed them and attacked them."

"She stabbed one and ran away while her boyfriend was probably dead. She saw our campsite and ran for it to try to hide because they might be looking for her. I gave her my tent and we called the cops and they took her in for questioning. We did find out later her story was real when they found her boyfriend a few days later. The guys who did it were still at large."-odagled86

Ghostly Radio Waves

"Was much younger adult, lived in a duplex w/vaulted ceiling. Mylar balloon was up in the peak of the ceiling from some occasion (too long ago to remember)."

"It was around 1 am, I was totally alone in the duplex, working on a hobby. No tv, radios or anything on, all quiet. For just a few seconds I heard a sound like a radio playing, coming from the general direction of the balloon."

"Too brief to really grasp what was actually playing. Neighbor was always quiet, and the sound was at the far side of the duplex, away from his unit. Weird as hell."-cclay6482

SOLO

"Solo camp in the woods well away any road or track. I woke up to find that someone had made a cup of tea at my fire. There was a cup with the dregs of white tea sitting by the fire. I drink it black. The most British scary-woods-stalker ever." ~ Magnus_40

"Didn’t happen to me, but not long ago (maybe 3 months ago) I was camping and awoke to a family near me whose child had been abducted in deadset middle of the night. Major search operation underwent, and after 3 weeks or so (I think) the child was found alive and well. Needless to say, will never camp at that spot again." ~ Useful-Distribution5

Asleep...

"Wish I knew. I used to sleepwalk when I was younger but only really found out the first year I went away for summer camp. I would shower at night and go to bed clean, but wake up with mud completely caked up to my knees and no clue." ~ Pocket76

In the Wild

"Large wild animals walking through the camp at night. Northern California meant mountain lion or bear. Either way, not something I wanna tangle with." ~ shigogaboo

"I lived in Northern California for 2 years and got slightly nervous when I saw a sign warning about mountain lions in the park I always went too. I'm from New Jersey where we don't have to worry about animals like that." ~ BloodAngel85

When I Sleep

"Cop told me I couldn't sleep where I was sleeping, hassled me a bit, told me I had to sleep in my car. Next morning I find out it was because multiple people had been murdered in the area while sleeping outside, alone. I think it was a serial killer at that."

"Edit: found the long winded write up I did before, so if you're bored here you go: https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/7qkg8k/comment/dsryr01/"

Edit 2: another creepy run in I had while alone I posted about years ago: https://www.reddit.com/r/LetsNotMeet/comments/64m4zw/car_broke_down_on_the_side_of_the_road/"

"Amazing I'm alive lol. Enjoy!" ~ Infamous_Lunchbox

A Quarry

"Back in 2002, I camped out in a mountain quarry during a science club caving trip. I woke up as dawn was approaching to some very loud screams/moans which came from the far back of the quarry. Everyone was accounted for yet no one woke up to this but me. I was terrified so I just laid there until I dozed back off to sleep. Once everyone was up I asked if anyone heard what I heard and no one else did. Perhaps it was some strange animal but I really have no idea." ~ kimmytwoshoes

Blair witch project

"Days after seeing 'Blair witch project,' I went backpacking in Michigan on north manitou. 3rd night in, I was falling asleep when a couple chipmunks came outta of nowhere being all crazy and one ended up going under my tent. Just imagine being half asleep, in the woods, and that happens." ~ Gluten_maximus

Let me Sleep...

"I used to be an insomniac. I used to see things that weren't there. Before I knew it was due to sleep deprivation, I saw lots of scary things and I wasn't sure if I was going crazy or haunted. I saw a woman walk into my kids room and vanish. Things would start changing shape like reality was rippling. It was frightening at the time." ~ Meimnot555

The Baby

"I found a baby. Or it found me rather. I was car camping at a campground outside of LA. Middle of the night I'm chilling solo by the fire several beers deep when a baby waddles out of a bush and heads right for the fire. I jump up and grab him. I didn't hear anyone looking for their kid so I just start yelling out towards the other camp sites if anyone lost a child. Some idiot way down the road goes oh yeah that's mine. doesn't even walk over to me! I carried his kid down to their camp stunned." ~ jbnarch25

Dumfries & Galloway

"I was a teenager camping with some friends in the countryside in Dumfries & Galloway. We pitched our tents in a flat area on moorland. We were just kind of sitting around, the sun was still up and visibility was good. I saw something moving in my peripheral vision and turned to look, thinking it might be a hare or something."

"It was a small man, wearing old fashioned clothes, stood only around 3 feet or so in height and looked pretty angry. Almost as soon as I looked at him, he vanished. It turns out all of us (four people) had seen the little man and seen him disappear." ~ CoelHen2021

Will these stories have you sitting bolt upright in your tent, shivering from the potential spookies and scaries waiting just out of eyeline in the night?

Or is there no being on this plane or the next who could ever temper your love for camping?

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People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.