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The Worst Thing My Doctor Told Me

The Worst Thing My Doctor Told Me

Woman covering her face in embarrassment

Common Things Some People Never Learned How To Do

People Share Subtle Signs That Someone's Had A Rough Childhood

People Share Subtle Signs That Someone's Had A Rough Childhood

People Explain Which Things Can Really Break Someone Mentally

People Explain Which Things Can Really Break Someone Mentally

People Break Down The Taboo Subjects That Should Be Talked About More

People Break Down The Taboo Subjects That Should Be Talked About More

People Reveal What They Wish Others Knew About Their Mental Illness

People Reveal What They Wish Others Knew About Their Mental Illness
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Mental illnesses affect millions of people and manifest in ways that are unique to the individual. But in all cases, it is not a choice, nor can it just be willed away. The stigma persists, especially for people with PTSD or ADHD, which are often chastized as fake disorders.

Cjborange asked Redditors with mental illnesses: What do you wish people knew about mental illness?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

10. Please stop doing this.

That depression isn't just being sad, and that you can't fix anxiety by not thinking like that.

KiraElijah

The way I like to put it is like this. Think about depression like you would think about cancer. It can happen to anyone. Which is why you could see someone with a great life and that person could still depressed. Because just like cancer the disease doesn't care who you are, it will come for you just the same.

PM_ME_HEALTH_TIPS

Not only is the anxiety advice terrible advice, it doesn't even work if you do manage to do it.

See I spent decades thinking I didn't have anxiety issues because I could "just not think like that" - by being focused on thinking about other things and pushing that anxiety to the back of my mind.

Sure I wasn't actively thinking about it but it still sat there in the back of my head eating at me and twisting my stomach up in knots and upping my stress levels etc. I had all the symptoms of anxiety, just didn't recognize it as such. I'd learned to turn away from the anxious thoughts, but that's not the same as turning them OFF. And fixing it isn't turning them off, but turning them AROUND.

Learning to confront that anxiety face to face, and actually handle the things I'm anxious about instead of doing everything I can to avoid them, and taking medication that helps ease that process, has made me much less ACTUALLY anxious. It's still very much a problem and probably will be for a long time yet, but it's one I'm learning to manage, one day at a time.

CambrianCrew

9. *Folds arms, blinks* ah that's better.

You can't just "snap out of it."

SquidAndCheese

"It's all in your head!!" Uh, YEAH. That's the point.

Fudgeorama221

It's called a "mental illness," where else should it be if not "all in my head?" Up my @ss, I guess?

Next time my @sshole dad b!tches about my mental health, I'll be sure to tell him that he should stop b!tching about his alcoholism-induced symptoms because "it's all in his liver."

sponge_cat

Actually, with things like depression and other illnesses caused by neurotransmitter imbalances, the effects are felt throughout the body, not just in the head. That's why Irritable Bowel Syndrome can be a symptom of depression.

ClicksAndASmell

8. Actually, we have superpowers.

Mental illness isn't like TV. Most people with a mental illness aren't babbling nonsense or talking to themselves, or psycho killers, or having conversations with their multiple personalities. By and large, mental illness is invisible to the every day public. Chances are, you are friends with someone who has a mental illness, and you don't even know.

LegendOfSchnellda

Yep, we aren't all violent and evil and being portrayed as such is incredibly harmful to us as a community. And you don't have to be mentally ill to do harmful things, shockingly enough. Armchair diagnosing every killer or domestic abuser as mentally ill is massively unhelpful to those of us dealing with mental illnesses, please don't do it.

theexitisontheleft

We also aren't all hopeless romantics, misunderstood artists or "manic pixie dream" people. We aren't one "great romantic love" away from being healed and saved by someone. Mental illness doesn't make you interesting. It isn't a part of your personality. It doesn't give you talent and it doesn't make you brilliant. There is no one big great "aha, I finally feel great now" moment.

You kind of just wish you didn't feel that way everyday and you realize it makes you self-destruct and torture yourself and others around you but you're resigned to not doing anything about it.

GRUDENGRINDER243

7. Mental illness is frustrating af.

That we're aware of how we act, are annoyed/frustrated by the condition as much, if not more, than they are, and that dealing with it secondhand in no way compares to living it so having a little empathy goes a long way

cparrotSQUAWK

Exactly. I always hear the John Mulaney driving rant, repurposed. "I hear you. I also do not want to be doing what I'm doing. I sure would like to stop."

odd_ender

This right here. You think I'm okay with the fact that I can't make myself do the things I want to do. Don't you think that if I could just shrug off the screaming cacophony, I wouldn't do so without you f*ckin' pointing that out?

"Oh, sh*t, you mean I can just turn that sh*t off... Well, why didn't I think of that, golly mister, you sure are smart!"

CardsLafter

Who DOESN'T want to go through a cycle of lashing out -> apologizing -> lashing out -> repeat? It's just so goddamn fun and a great way to form and maintain long lasting friendships

cparrotSQUAWK

6. It's a lot of work to appear "normal."

We try like hell to hide it. Just because we slipped and you saw the truth does NOT mean its a new aspect of our existence.

Cerebral_Biolysis

I find that any new person I meet I tell almost immediately so they get it (for me). I kinda just flash it to them and like "yo it's a me, ADD!" and they're like "ah nice ok". I mean, it is part of me, so I figured (my personal preference) I'd get it out of the way. F*cks up my life in a number of ways, but I try to be open about stuff to people firsthand.

GeorgiaBolief

5. Chronic physical illness and pain, like I had with colitis, led to my PTSD.

PTSD isn't always from war.

DeadDumbPerson

On the internet it's way more likely that people assume it's from abuse.

Mine isn't from either one. I never get sent to resources for veterans. I have been sent to resources for abuse plenty of times even when I clarified before what it's from.

People, don't assume anything.

MeppeKR

And on a sidenote, if we open up about it, we might not be ready to tell you what it's from. What, am I supposed to tell to a near-stranger about my trauma? nah dude.

Edit: I have shared my trauma with strangers online, but that's way less emotionally taxing than talking in person. Just felt like I needed to clarify so I don't seem like a hypocrite.

DeadDumbPerson

Adding onto that, trauma's not a competition.

Inamorata

4. Mental illnesses often have physical manifestations.

Some mental illnesses can have physical symptoms. Migraines, stomach issues, fainting, and these are just a few. So no, it's not "all in my head."

catinsanity

"All in your head" God, that phrase pisses me off. Our brain is literally who we are. Everything else is just systems to keep it alive. "In our head" is the most important part of the human body. It's like saying "Oh, can't walk? Pshh. Quit being so dramatic. It's all in your legs."

LegendOfSchnella

Word. People think of brains as some mystical black box where who-knows-what happens and thoughts come out. It's literally a machine made of moving parts. Like any other complex machine, it has specialized parts that carry out specific tasks.

If your friend's car breaks down would just say "ah suck it up and drive, it's all in your engine!"

Ignitus1

3. It's a symptom of a bigger problem - our culture.

ADHD is like the diabetes of mental illness. It can be managed with discipline and/or meds. But it can also wreck your life.

UmairHussaini

It's hard, even with medication I struggle with it. Work piles up and sometimes I can handle it and sometimes it's just too much and my brain checks out.

SleepPingGiant

One thing that many people with ADHD have is rejection sensitivity disphoria and it's not commonly known, but along with all of the problems ADHD can cause the person suffering from Rejection Sensitivity Disphoria may be feeling alone and always wondering what they've done wrong to people, so even just randomly texting good morning can make someone's day and make then more motivated to do what they have to do which will in turn improve somebody's life

Raccoons201049

2. No one chooses it.

That mental illnesses actually exist, and I'm not just making this sh*t up. It's amazing how many people who have never personally had to deal with, or don't know any people who have dealt with mental illness that just believe any mental illness can be summed up to not "sucking it up". They don't realize how badly I wish I could. How much I wish I could wake up in the morning and just be ok. How much I don't want to have negative and anxious thoughts.

They have no clue how hard it is to wake up some days when literally all I want to do is stay in bed and sleep. They were not there when I sat up all night seriously thinking about ending my life just so I don't have to deal with this anymore. I also wish they'd know how grateful they should feel for never having to put up with something that constantly consumes their thoughts and effects their actions daily. "Sucking it up" isn't always an option, learning to understand and support people who suffer from mental illness is. It's truly not hard to have just a little empathy.

Meganthefallen

1. Trying to maintain control is a daily struggle.

How hard it is to not spiral into an awful black pit when the depression kicks in. I failed at holding off a negative mood swing while I was at work the other day and went from gregarious and laughing to feeling like I should probably kill myself within a matter of minutes. The tiniest little thing can set it off, too. Finally decided to get professional help after the insistent urging of a close friend, so that's nice.

Whiskey-Weather

Same, I was at a family thing and went from having a great time, laughing, talking and stuff, to an hour later sitting alone and catching my self as I desperately looked around for a sharp object to kill myself bc someone got offended I accidentally talked over them. I know I need help but I just can't...

FunPersonality8

What would you like people to know about something you are struggling with?

mental illness

People Break Down The Most Disturbing Thing They've Ever Casually Been Told

Reddit user DarthAbhinav asked: 'What is the most disturbing thing you've heard said casually?'

Black and white picture of a girl looking at a lighthouse
Photo by Rostyslav Savchyn on Unsplash

Every now and again, when talking to a friend or family member, a rather shocking piece of information might casually slip out.

Information one imagines they wanted to keep secret for as long as they possibly could.

In some cases, it's something embarrassing, that everyone will be able to laugh about with the passage of time.

In other cases, however, it's information that stuns us silent.

Learning something we wish we hadn't.

Redditor DarthAbhinav11 was curious to hear the most disturbing information people have ever been casually told or overheard, leading them to ask:

"What is the most disturbing thing you've heard said casually?"

An Acquired Taste

"I work in a deli and some lady asked me to cut her ham extremely thin to the point of seeing through it."

"I heard her justify it as 'so you can get rid of the ham taste'."

"I still think about this one."- Alternative_Net8931

Utterly Horrid

"When I was walking to my front door."

"My neighbor had their window open and was scolding their 3 year old adopted child."

"She was howling crying."

"'Do you want mommy to send you back?'"- BoredBSEE

It Arrives Sooner Than You Think...

At Macy's, two teen girls: 'Women over 30 have the ugliest elbows'."

"'OMG. I know'."

"'Very disturbing'."

"'I always ask my mom to wear long sleeves when we go out to eat'."- CapitalPhilosophy513

Never Too Late

"I when younger I worked at a pool and had to lifeguard senior aerobics classes."

"Most participants where 65+."

“'Where’s so and so'.”

“'Oh he won’t be here, his wife was put into hospice'.”

“'Well I feel bad for him, but we do need some more single men around here'."

"'He’s not bad looking, has a retirement too'.”- CuriousOne9320

Round And Round It Goes...

"'If the Earth is spinning, then why my front door is always facing east?'"- SuvenPan

"Something I once heard a passing stranger say for which I have no context: 'He wears a scarf around his neck so you can't see where he's decaying'."

"I've been curious for years and it annoys me that I'll never know."- xyanon36

Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

"An ex after I ended things 'I don’t understand, if I want to be in a relationship with you but you don’t want to be in a relationship with me why do you get to win?'"- TinyFurryHorseBeak

Not His Decision To Make

"Was at an end of season event for my kid's baseball team when he was little."

"The coaches brought Italian ice for everyone."

"Mom has just served her kids and husband and comes back with her own."

"As she's sitting down to eat, I hear her husband loud whisper behind her something like 'absolutely not'."

"'You don't need any more calories'."

"I just watched her face fall."

"I can't imagine what their marriage must look like behind closed doors and what life must be like for her."

"Heartbreaking."

"Note that this woman was already probably a size 2 at most so this was not a scenario where there were serious weight-related health problems."

"This guy was just a jerk and this really wasn't the first time that season, but his reminders that they aren't living up to his standards were usually aimed at his kids on the field."

"I try to assume the best of people but that guy sucked."- littleirishpixie

The Truth Hurts

"I was in an accident once and was hospitalized."

"The accident left me severely disfigured."

"I was out of my mind on pain meds when I arrived at the hospital and told my family to call my girlfriend and let her know what happened and where I was."

"My mom called my girlfriend and my sister not knowing the particulars of my life called my ex."

"Neither knew the other had called and both ended up showing up."

"They arrived within an hour of one another while I was asleep."

"Since someone was there with me it gave my family a chance to go home and take a break."

"So I woke up to my ex and my girlfriend talking to one another."

"Obviously my girlfriend was mad my ex was there and things got heated between the two."

"My ex being level headed suggested they step into the hall since I was half awake and in no condition to deal with the drama."

"As they're arguing in the hall voices are being raised until finally a nurse comes to reign the situation in."

"The nurse breaking them up made my girlfriend leave."

"As she was leaving she yelled 'you can have his a**'."

"'It's not like I wanna be with some burnt up scarred dude anyway'."

"'He's f*cked'."

"At this point I was still bed ridden and hadn't seen a mirror."

"I was aware my body was f*cked but had no idea what I actually looked like."

"Hearing that was such a gut punch and it really messed with my head at the time."- Burnvictim49percent

Where To Even Begin?

"I am a tutor."

"I heard some of my students say ;What's the point in learning history? We should live in the present'."

"We are German."- GentlemanPirate13

Most of the time, when a friend or family member warns us or apologizes for sharing "too much information" or "TMI", what we've heard isn't that shocking in the grand scheme of things.

Indeed, as evidenced by the sad and shocking stories above, when people really share TMI, they often have no idea they're doing so.


disturbing

People Share The Biggest Unwritten Rules In Their Household

A hand adds a yellow post it to a wall of yellow post its
Photo by Kelly Sikkema

There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.

For instance, if someone falls down... help them.

When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.

Just leaving with it won't go over well.

And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...

Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:

"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"

If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.

The people in Port Authority always miss that one.

Routine

Cleaning Chores GIF by SpongeBob SquarePantsGiphy

"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."

cwsjr2323

"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."

radtech91

Trashed

"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."

UndiagnosedReptard

"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."

wavesnfreckles

"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."

on_the_nightshift

Finder's Keepers

"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."

Rich1926

"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."

"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."

Head_Razzmatazz7174

Dropped something?

"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."

Altruistic-Bit-9766

"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."

"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."

ohno807

Obligations...

Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy

"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."

halcyon3608

If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...

I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!

Flushed

Go Away Pink GIF by HacklockGiphy

"Check the toilet after you flush."

NANNYNEGLEY

"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"

purplestarsinthesky

WAKE UP!

"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."

DonMartiniMacaroni

"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."

stumblinbear

"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."

chill90ies

No Exceptions!

"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."

Next-Dark-4975"

"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."

Bmadray

Table Manners

"No tech at the table."

"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"

"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."

"Other than this, we are pretty cool."

Dante2005

Woof

Well Done Applause GIF by MOODMANGiphy

"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"

InfiniteBackspace

Always let the dogs go first.

If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!

unwritten rules

Products That Don't Really Work But People Still Buy For Some Reason

person using laptop computer to make a credit card purchase
rupixen.com on Unsplash

Sometimes we look at a product and think "who would buy that, and why?"

For me the "Flowbee" home haircutting tool comes to mind. If you're unfamiliar, it's a shaver you attached to your vacuum cleaner so you hair was pulled past cutting blades.

It was sold on late night infomercials in the 1990s.

Who wouldn't want to style their hair like this?

Flowbee infomercial GIFGiphy

As fabulous as that looks, results did vary with most veering toward "yikes!" yet by 2000 the company reported 2 million were sold.

And *surprise* you can still buy one—for about $150.

It seems no matter how bad a product is, someone will buy it.

Keep reading...Show less
shopping

People Confess Which Things They've Always Done They Didn't Realize Were Gross

Person washing their hands
Photo by Andrew Valdivia on Unsplash

There's this amazing quote by Maya Angelou that we can all put into practice: "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better."

This can be applied to anything in life, from learning more about a subject that we're passionate about, to practicing better time management skills, to being a better friend.

But there are some things that we may not even realize we need to do better... until we suddenly know better.

Cringing in anticipation, Redditor one-droplet asked:

"What have you always done, but later found out was gross?"

The Best Ice

"When I was like five or six years old I would love going to the grocery store with my mom because the vegetable and fruit and meat tables always had the best ice to chew on..."

- campio_s_a

"I work in a restaurant, and I try to grab a cup to get the ice before they use it for raw oysters and shrimp cocktails. It really is the best ice."

- AustinRiversDaGod

Toilet Paper Use

"As an Asian, I was always taught growing up to throw used toilet paper in the trash bin. It wasn't until I went on a school trip to Italy and the chaperone mentioned to everyone, 'The plumbing system here isn't as good as the USA so you guys are just gonna have to throw it in the trash bin,' and everyone went, 'Ew.'"

"That's when I learned that it was gross to throw toilet paper in the trash bin since the issue was you're basically having shit bits sitting around in a bin."

- stigma_numgus

Toothbrush Bristles

"All my life, I wiped my toothbrush on the hand towel to dry it up until my sister asked what the f**k I was doing."

- Sark_Doul

"My sister used to scrub the bristles on the faucet where the water came out when she was done brushing her teeth. I guess to dry it off. I still cringe thinking about it."

- Suspicious-Craft4980

That's Not Clay

"As a child, I would dig up bits of clay from the local sandbox. It wasn’t as good as Play-Doh, so I would cast it aside and continue digging."

"Maybe I didn’t have a very good sense of smell at that age, because I was well into adulthood before I realized it was probably cat s**t."

- Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Dirty Showers

"I showered in a dirty tub. Once I discovered how gross it really was, my hoarder mother didn’t like it when I cleaned the bathroom, so I just lived with it til I was able to get a place."

- TrustIsOverrated

"My hoarder mom was like this."

- Best_Eggplant_9259

"When I tried to wash the nicotine off the walls in my bedroom, my hoarder parents were not happy."

- obviouslyanni

Fresh Towels

"I waited until a towel smelled weird to swap it out."

- DrippyFlames

"Look, the towel forgets everything before the next shower."

- gljivicad

Self-Service Assorted Candies

"I used to really like those self-service lollies/candy buckets with the scoops. They were in most big box stores in Australia, like Kmart, Target, Big W. So much fun mixing and matching."

"But then one day I started working at Target. Every single day I caught old people and kids with their hands directly inside grabbing them out and munching down all slobbery-like. That turned me off forever."

"Though not too long after they started disappearing from businesses so obviously someone got the unsanitary message."

- blahblahrasputan

Not Flushable

"I flushed my tampons my whole life until I was about 30. No one had taught me they weren’t flushable. I stupidly thought they were like toilet paper."

"One expensive and embarrassing plumbing problem later, I never did it again."

- Ew_fine

Dental Habits

"Not brushing my teeth when I wake up. I would only brush my teeth after breakfast, and I would rarely eat breakfast."

"So most days I would only brush my teeth at night. I figured, 'Well, I brushed last night and haven’t eaten anything since, so why should I brush again?'"

" Then I learned about all the bacteria that feed on the tiny bits of food left in your teeth and they literally expel gas and feces in your mouth as they consume it. And this is what causes awful morning breath."

"So I have this mental image of bacteria poop and farts coating my mouth and have brushed every morning since regardless of eating breakfast or not."

- scatteredwardrobe

"Brush at night to keep your teeth, and brush in the morning to keep your friends."

- coykoi314

Not Just Yellow Snow

"Eating snow. Just take the same handful of snow you might see a kid stuff in their mouth and let it melt in a glass. Bet you wouldn’t willingly drink it!"

- Affectionate_Cloud86

Don't Visit Everyone's House

"I sit on my couch butt naked when I’m alone watching TV at night. I mean I’m relatively clean but I feel sorry for anyone else that sits there."

- Rich-Abbreviations25

Letting the Hair Fall Where It May

"I'm suffering from hair loss at the moment (51 Female) and I'm often absent-mindedly raking a hand through my long hair, glancing at what comes out and then dropping the strands on the floor."

"Just read on another sub that that's pretty disgusting to other people. In my defense, I work exclusively from home in my own small office and would never do it in public, but even so, maybe my husband thinks I'm gross."

- RadioDorothy

Shoes Indoors

"Wearing shoes inside. My family was not a shoes off family and they always wore outside shoes inside."

"I remember a few friends' homes were strict shoes-off homes, but I thought that was the minority."

"I was about 27 years old before I realized it was disgusting and people were definitely judging my etiquette."

- MyDogAteYourPancakes

Double-Dipping

"Double-dipping snacks. Pretty logical but only found out recently that’s very bad etiquette."

- AggravatingDriver559

"Double-dipping is only acceptable if you’re not sharing the dip with anyone."

- froderenfelemus

Fair Lessons

"Some things I've learned:"

"Wash my bedsheets every week, including bed, pillows, and covers."

"Only use the same bath towel twice before washing it."

"Use a new toothbrush head every month."

"Always wash my hands coming back from a store or public transit."

"And NEVER EVER go into a resort pool with a swim-in bar."

- freddg_mtl

This conversation was so cringe-worthy and left us wanting a shower in the worst way.

At least for most of these Redditors, now that they knew these are gross habits, they've chosen to do something better.

gross acts