People Share The Worst Cases Of Someone Playing The Victim When It Was Their Own Fault
Some people really like to play things up for sympathy. Most of the time, something bad really did happen, and sympathizing with someone definitely isn't a bad thing.
Sometimes it is super obvious that whatever happened to them was entirely of their own doing, though. This often comes out pretty quickly during conversation.
Below you'll find stories of the most obviously self-made disasters ever, and their after effects.
Redditor Penguin__Farts asked:
"What's the worst case you've seen of someone trying to play the victim when it was all their own fault?"
Organ Failure
During a Sunday liturgy, I gave the priest the proper intonation for the Gloria in Excelsis, but he started chanting the "Sanctus" instead (which comes much later in the Mass).
No one knew how (or if) to respond, so the place fell silent.
Afterward, the priest blamed me (the organist) for giving him "the wrong intonation" instead of simply admitting that he wasn't infallible and had made a simple mistake.
Walk On
My ex wife loves to do this.
She had an affair, left me and our kid for the guy, got a DWI and the car I cosigned for was repossessed.
Every time I hear from her I get to listen to her complain about how she has to walk to work and how she has to borrow lunch money because child support took $129 out of her check and our son never calls her and she hasn't seen him in over a year.
-r4x
Free Ride
A former friend and housemate—who I stupidly let live at my place rent free and who I gave some pretty significant help towards lawyer fees—lost her mind when I started voicing my concerns over her new boyfriend. She was still technically married to another man, and the new boyfriend was into all sorts of cultish, New Age, Spirit Science craziness.
Oh, and they would do things like make these lavish meals in the kitchen and not clean up, or block my car in the driveway. Then she went on a rant in which she compared me to her abusive soon-to-be-ex-husband—because I hadn't put away a container of cinnamon immediately after using it.
When I served an eviction notice to the b-bomb, she gave Academy Award-level performance for melodrama of her own making.
Cat Logic
My cat plays with the closet door and sometimes shuts himself in. Then I get an angry cat yowling to get let out and acts like I'mthe one that locked him in there.
Guilt Trip
My mom consistently tries to play the victim when we (her kids) don't want to see her.
She'll post on Facebook about how her kids don't love her, call extended family members to complain, and just make stuff up so that people think we don't love her or something.
In reality she makes it so unbearable to visit her we don't want too. She tries to treat us like we're still toddlers. First time I brought my wife (yep I'm married) to see her i was going to book a hotel. My mom threw a fit because I wasn't staying at her place. So my wife convinces me to give my moms place a chance, because at this point she doesn't know.
My mom said she'd have the guest bedroom ready for us. In reality it was a twin bed with toy story bedding and a princess sleeping bag on the ground. Well I can barely fit into a twin bed so my wife took it while I slept on the ground. We got a hotel the next night.
During the next couple days my mom:
- Tried to convince us to give her a grandchild
- Bought my wife lingerie (presumably to make her a grandchild)
- Tried to put me in timeout
- Threatened to spank and mouthsoap my wife
- Tried to sleep in our hotel room
- Took us to babies r us to try to convince us to have a kid
And a bunch of other things.
Yet in all this she's the victim of kids who don't love her. I've literally gotten calls from extended family telling me how I have to see my mom more.
I was in line in my car to enter an amusement park. All of a sudden the car in front of me threw on their reverse lights and backed into me hard.
I got out and was talking to the driver, a 17 year old girl, about what I needed—her driver license and insurance info. She kept trying to delay giving me the info because she wanted to call her parents first. Fine, no problem..... she calls her dad and as they were talking she calms down and her face lights up.
She turns to me and says loudly and in a snarky tone while holding the phone towards me to get my reaction:
"Did I hit you, or did you hit me? Because before I backed up, I checked my mirror and my passenger checked hers and you weren't there and then all of a sudden we felt a hit....."
I replied:
"Are you implying I rear ended you?"
"I'm not sure, but I think you might have."
I point to my car:
"Do you see that little thing beside my rear view mirror, that's a dash cam and it's been recording since I left my house and is currently recording our conversation. Now, if you want to go this route, we can, but the police are going to be notified....."
Now she starts crying and says on the phone:
"No dad, he has a dashcam and it's recording everything."
Then come the waterworks, she starts trying to get me to talk to her dad, that he will take care of it etc. etc..... Finally I got the info out of her and had to get the front end of my car fixed.
A dashcam saved my butt. Get one.
Liar, Liar
My best friend's ex-girlfriend. Basically her ex was kicked out of her parent's house when she told them she was a lesbian. She moved in with my best friend since they were dating at the time.
At first she told my bf that she was too depressed to find a job. My best friend was okay with that even if it meant she'd have to work more, which she did. She even found a second part time job.
For the next six months, whenever my best friend asked her if she found a job she'd always get the "I'm too depressed" response. Eventually my best friend finds out her girlfriend cheated on her. Her excuse for cheating was "you're always at work and never have time for me. I need someone who will be there for me."
My best friend kicks her out and then her ex blames her for having to move back in with her parents. The kicker: turns out her parents never really kicked her out, she was just tired of them telling her to get a job.
False Witness
I once witnessed a car accident where a lady blew a red light and another car (whose light had clearly turned green) didn't see her and hit her broadside. (The innocent driver had her view obscured by my vehicle also entering the intersection—I was able to stop, but she couldn't.) After the impact, witnesses stopped to help, and the lady who ran the red light tried to argue she was going through on a yellow and that her neck hurt.
Apparently she had the nerve to attempt a lawsuit over it, because I was later interviewed (deposed?) over the phone by crazy lady's lawyer who tried to trip me up by saying another witness claimed to be the same place I was. Too bad, man. I was right there, and there's no way in heck you can paint me as an unreliable witness for your client to steal money from an innocent for her own stupid mistake.
Customer Disservice
An employee was being fired for a multitude of infractions at a coffee shop. He had been caught by management calling customers things like 'dumb *ss' and 'stupid f**k' under his breath and several customers had also reported the behavior.
He was constantly late or would leave early or beg others to cover his shift. Instead of restocking or cleaning the area during down times he would take out his drumsticks and 'practice', which annoyed the other employees and customers.
During inventory counts we noticed whole pallets of sandwiches or baked goods were 'missing' as well as bottled drinks, etc... We were mysteriously out of huge 5 lbs bags of the espresso roast. The numbers were not adding up.
He was subsequently fired after being caught bad mouthing a customer while a visiting manager was also in the cafe (the guy didn't know it). The guy blamed all the issues on everyone else:
- late to work turned into 'I missed the bus' or 'my roommate forgot to wake me up in time'
- leaving early turned into 'well I got a call for a gig/there was a concert I wanted to see'
- food missing turned into 'I didn't have money to eat and it's the companies responsibility to ensure I'm fed while on the clock'
- calling customers names turned into 'they misunderstood me' Management said 'what part of calling a customer a dumb f**k is a misunderstanding?' followed by 'not my fault they're so sensitive'.
All this dudes problems were blamed on everyone else and all his issues and situation in life was blamed on everyone else.
Us employees stopped inviting him out because at bars he would order drinks and tell the bartender one of us was covering and skip out or leave rapidly before check was presented to us. He would also walk around tables when people got up to dance or talk in a group and guzzle down their drinks. He was an all over sh*tty person.
Found out after he was fired from our store he was hired by a Starbucks in the mall—who failed to call for a reference or check even though our store was listed as previous place of employment. He was caught stealing money and food from there too.
Best Excuses For Late Assignments That Were Actually True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Teachers have heard every excuse in the book from students who were trying to pull a fast one. We all know the classics: 'dog ate my homework,' 'my car burst...Oops...
An older lady walked into a construction area where she knew she wasn't supposed to go just to snoop around when the workers weren't there and then sued because she slipped on a plastic floor covering. She worked there. She knew the area was off limits. Did it anyway.
Wedding Bell Blues
My mom ruined my courthouse wedding, called me selfish and made fun of my shoes on my wedding day, and made me swear to her that I wouldn't tell our family I was getting married until we had a big ceremony.
Then proceeded to go behind my back and tell people anyway. She is now genuinely surprised that I am upset and going around crying to all my aunts and uncles about how her only daughter will not speak to her.
🎵 At The Car Wash...🎶
A woman rear-ended my car in the car wash of all places. She failed to put her car in Neutral and rolled right into me.
She then proceed to yell at me and insist that it was my fault for "not going fast enough".
After we finally convinced her that the track always goes the same speed, she decided to blame the CAR WASH EMPLOYEE for making the track too slow.
Too Late
Sometimes my children ask me why they've met my mother but never met my father, I tell them he died a long time ago when I was a kid. In reality, my dad used to be an abusive drunk, and my mother had to kick him out because he used to beat on us kids.
We used to spend weekends at his new house but around the time I turned 10 he told my mother to stop dropping us off, and gave her a shoe box full of all the pictures he had of us. We tried calling him on holidays every now and again, but he finally just told us to stop contacting him altogether.
Last year my mother passed away, and he decided to reach out to me and expressed he had changed and wanted to make things up to me. I told him it was ok, I filled him in on how I was doing in life and sent him pictures of my children...but I expressed I was already a man, and don't need a father anymore, but he was forgiven for the 20 year absence.
He then proceeded to tell me that I'm horrible for pushing him away and abandoning him, that he was dying and just wanted to fix things. So I just explained to him, it's already forgiven but he abandoned me and I had no time for his foolishness. I wish things would have been different, but he's too much of a bad influence to allow in my children's lives.
Friends Don't Let Friends...
Facebook drama from a few years ago, this girl was leaving a bar drunk, and she backed her car into the car of someone she was an acquaintance with while exiting the parking lot, then the next day went off on him for telling the police he saw her do it, when he knew she was poor and could have just said he didn't see it and had his insurance pay.
She kept digging a deeper hole and all the replies were like "don't drive drunk", it was glorious.
Competition
I quit my job and set up my own competing business with my ex-employer after he failed to pay me for 2 months claiming non payment from the clients.
He had a massive go at me after I confronted him with receipts from the clients to show payment and he accused me of making him look bad in front of his clients and that he didn't owe me the money because "some people are bosses and some people are employees" hence why I quit the job and set up for myself because last time I checked, slavery is illegal in the UK.
I also warned a few of my ex coworkers to be careful and not let him rack up debt with them because of what he did to me (they are nice people with young families and don't deserve to be taken advantage of, like he did to me).
I take him to court to try to recoup the money he owed me for the work I completed and the judge ruled in my favour for the full amount of just over £4000. He then plays the victim card with everyone he knows and says that I made him and his family homeless despite the fact that he never paid me a penny of the money owed.
£4000 is like 5-6 months rent in a decent neighborhood in my city. Honestly blows my mind every time I think about it.
Short story: The dude stole over £4000 from me, never pays me back, blames me for making his family homeless.
Creeper
This guy got upset saying we were always talking about him behind his back. He would creep up to the door in our apartment and stand there listening to our conversations. Of course we would talk about him!
He owed 2 of us over 600 dollars and refused to pay it. And then WE were the bad people because we would talk about it, in our own apartment, not knowing he is creeping around the door.
You Can't Handle The Truth
My crazy college girlfriend cheated on me and then blamed me for causing problems in our relationship by being "obsessed with the truth" as I figured out what had happened.
Self-Made Man
Local business owner/friend asked a lot of his regular customers to invest in his new business in Atlanta, by buying shares. I bought in, knowing we wouldn't break even for at least three years, but that he could sell religion to the Pope. Had losses for two years, break even at three as predicted.
Four years in, he closes the Atlanta store and opens in another town, but this time he's doing it all with "his own money". Bullsh*t, he's doing it with the inventory and proceeds from the Atlanta store. Even has a shiny new house, cars, the works for his new venture.
He's shocked to the core, and hurt, I tell you, hurt and disappointed! when all the share holders took him to court.
2.
When I was teaching, I had a student I adored who had some behavior problems. I did everything I could to support him. One day, we were taking a test and he was talking. I reminded him several times that talking during a test is not allowed, and I would have him go in the hallway if he continued.
He continued talking, so I told him to go into the hall. He called me autistic on his way out (His favorite insult) and so I wrote him a referral. I called his parents and they didn't answer, so I sent an e mail explaining what happened, that he got a referral, and that I hope we can work together to help him manage his reactions.
His mother responded saying that My behavior is UNACCEPTABLE and that she is done speaking with me and I will hear from her lawyer. She went all the way up to the district level to complain about me, telling all sorts of lies and making me look like a horrible person. I don't teach anymore.
Reversal Of Fortune
I was in a crowded parking lot, driving around looking for a space. There was one car ahead of me. The car ahead of me stopped, so I stopped as well. (I'm not sure why she stopped because there were no empty spaces and no one was pulling out, but whatever).
Then, before I even had time to react, her reverse lights came on and she came flying backwards towards me. I didn't even have time to honk. She slammed into the front of my car, got out of her car, and started screaming that I hit her.
When officers arrived, she was crying and shaking and complaining that her neck hurt. And cursing me for slamming into the back of her car.
Thankfully, two people had been walking through the parking lot when this occurred and told the officer what really happened. Later, the driver of the car that hit me, tried to tell her insurance company that I knew the witnesses and that's why they lied. I didn't know the witnesses by the way.
At any rate, if the witnesses hadn't stuck around to give statements, I'd have been screwed.
- People Share The Worst Cases Of Someone Trying To Play The ... ›
- People Who Knew Chronic Liars Break Down Their Worst Lies - George Takei ›
As humans with autonomy and knowledge, we try to protect ourselves as much as we can. However, accidents do happen, and while we can expect the unexpected, we can't always protect ourselves from it.
Because there isn't always a defense, people sometimes have a close brush with death. They experience something that could've killed them but, by some miracle... didn't.
More people have stories like that than we expect.
Redditors are no exception and, in fact, were eager to share their close calls.
It all started when Redditor XboxCorgi asked:
"What has been your closest moment to death?"
Minding My Own Business
"Was sitting at my computer on the ground floor playing TF2 when a car came through the wall, smashed my desk and computer and almost killed me."
– caulkhead808
"I can’t imagine just chilling playing a video game and then the next second a car comes through my wall."
– RoutinePeach8752
Swim Parallel To The Shore
"I almost drowned in the ocean in Hawaii. I had swum out from shore, started getting tired, started swimming back but the current was pulling me out to sea! Scary as hell. I started to panic, but I remembered that the side stroke is the one that takes the least energy, so I started doing that and for 10 or 15 minutes just went back towards the shore. I wound up a few beaches south of where I had started! I had to walk north to return to my group."
– Snoo-35252
"I almost died like this in Panama when I was in the Army. Some of my buddies and I tried to swim out to what we thought was as an island from the beach, got halfway there only to realize it was a volcanic rock and that the waves crashing against it would surely crush/drown us. As we’re treading in murky pacific water something very large bumped against my leg (I suspect it might have been a shark but cannot say for certain as I never saw a fin). As we tried to swim back to shore we were all caught in a rip current, swimming towards the beach but going nowhere. As my friends and I ran out of steam to the point that we were panting faces barely above the water I put my foot down onto a coral reef or volcanic rock where I was able to catch my breath and then help my friends over to where I was."
"Eventually made it back to shore after swimming sideways out of the rip current, but that is legit probably the closest I’ve come to death."
"Unfortunately years later I had a friend in the army stationed in Hawaii who kayaked to an island, his boat got pulled out by the tide, and when he swam to get it he went under and never came back up. I knew we’d had a close call, but when that happened it really sunk in how incredibly stupid what we did was."
– MotoGeno
Twister!
"Joplin tornado in 2011. I was in the bathtub as my house was destroyed around me."
"Edit: I was taking cover in the bathtub, not taking a bath."
– m48a5_patton
"There was a tornado 15 years back or so in Oconto County in WI and a bar owner told us he had no shelter so he got into his bath tub and his house (trailer?) was destroyed around him. He says when it calmed down and he sat up there was a deer standing nearby looking at him and he said, "well buddy, I guess we made it.""
– arriesgado
Incredible Luck
"The light was red so I put my car to park because it was taking a while longer than usual. It went green and I forgot to take it off park, but as soon as I put it in drive a semitruck ran a red light."
– laxmagic
"Mate, that is f*cking terrifying. I can actually picture the scene and imagine the sound of it rumbling past, possibly horn blaring. Thank goodness for that little brain fart you had."
– Ecstatic_Ad_7104
"A Fart That Saved My Life"
– TheImpossibleBanana
Not All Heroes Wear Capes
"Was working on an oyster boat. It was a beautiful day and we were sorting oysters on the boat of the deck. All of a sudden I felt the gentlest of taps on the back of my skull. When I turned around I saw my supervisor, red-faced with the effort of restraining the metal boom, which had come loose and almost slammed right into my head. He was able to slow it down just in time so I only got that little tap (guy's basically all muscle). If he hadn't done that I would have been dead for sure."
– Valahar81
A Terrifying Vacation
"I went to Mexico in 2017 and nearly died my first day there. Was all good, having fun, having a few drinks, nothing too crazy though. Went to my room in the evening, and suddenly got a bad stomach ache that just got worse and worse with each min that passed. I also got feverish and delirious pretty quickly."
"I remember for some reason I decided a shower would be a good idea, and that's where my gf at the time found me heaped on the floor screaming in pain. I vaguely remember a paramedic stabbing me in the a** with some morphine which allowed to calm down. (Was not all the fun its cracked up to be, just made me sleep)"
"Get to the hospital, and they quickly find out that im going septic from a stomach infection. A few more hours and Id have been dead. Spent 3 days there, lost 30 pounds and could only eat soft fruit for about a week after."
"I also got the worst strep throat on the plane ride home too... my immune system was already weak, so it was horrible. Made me cough so much that blood came up. That was another hospital trip when I got home."
"The doctor who oversaw my care in Mexico was the most amazing doctor though. He spent the first 36 hours with me to make sure I was Ok, didn't eat or sleep or anything."
"Edit: I didn't get the infection in Mexico, I brought it with me. Doc said it had been building in my system for at least a week from the strength of it."
– Youpunyhumans
Think Fast
"I was around 3-4, picked up a live electric wire on the ground to play with. Got electrocuted immediately. Good samaritan grabbed a wooden stick and hit it out of my hands. People told my me later that they told my dad not to touch me because I was probably gone. That good samaritan saved my life. Acted when no one else did."
– champsgetup
"Wow insane that they knew what to do. I don’t think I’d be able to think that fast the correct way to save someone in such a situation."
– missilefire
Unspoken
"When I was real young, I was with my family at a hotel in Virginia (not sure which), but it had a decent sized pool.
"We were swimming in it, and my family went over to the deeper end. Not knowing how to swim, I stayed at the shallow end. After a while, I started feeling left out cause it looked like they were having fun, so I started to make my way over, hanging onto the edge."
"Dumb little me got careless, and my fingers slipped off the edge, and I started drowning pretty quick. About 5 seconds later, I get hoisted partly out of the water by a big Mexican lady, and she sets me on the edge of the pool. I hacked and coughed for a good minute before I walked along the edge to my family.
"They never noticed, and I never said a thing about it to them since."
– ThatThingTerran
Sugar Sugar
"I had undiagnosed diabetes for about 6 months, my blood sugar was in the 500's, I got to skip the line in the emergency room the doctors were so scared I was going to go to a coma."
– ThatOneTubil
"Hey, fellow diabetic here. Same story but my sugars were apparently over 800? Doc said the only reason I wasn't admitted straight to the ICU was cause I walked into the hospital instead of being brought in by an ambulance."
– Whit3Mex
Super Speed
"I was 7. My family had just arrived back home from watching The Incredibles in theaters. I decided to try and run like Dash around the whole house."
"I ended up running through the kitchen toward the back door that led to our back yard way too fast and couldn’t stop. This door had a window in it, and when I put my hands out to stop myself, I ran into the door and my hands went through the window."
"My parents heard the crash and called out for me to ask if I was ok. I came walking out of the kitchen into the living room, blood pouring from my wrist. I was in a Disney princess night gown too, so it was honestly like a scene from a horror movie."
"We lived in a remote area, so when my parents called the ambulance, it couldn’t find our house at first. My mom had to run out and flag down the ambulance while my dad was applying pressure to my wrist with a bunch of towels to try to stop the bleeding. The ambulance finally got to our house and the EMTs were able to get the bleeding to stop and take me to the hospital."
"I lived! The scar is pretty gnarly."
– turtledovefarts
Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls
"Waterfall hiking. Dipped my foot in on top and was immediately swept under and over about 3 waterfalls. Was very lucky to land where I did. Still have a chunk outta my leg to this day."
– mystery_leaf
Miraculous
"I was on the back of my dad's motorcycle and he had a heart attack and blacked out. Bike went over; I hit the ground headfirst. Luckily he felt something was wrong and slowed down, so it wasn't nearly as close to death for me as it was for him, but it was still super scary. Thank god for helmets."
– zapatodulce
"dam did you r dad survive too?"
– GetaGoodLookCostanza
"He did! This was about 10 years ago and he's been taking good care of himself and hasn't had more heart problems!"
– zapatodulce
Despite the happy ending, that might actually be the worst one, and that's saying something!
The human body is truly amazing. It's resilient, it can create antibodies to fight off infections, and it comes in all shapes and sizes.
There are some awesome facts about the human body, like that no two people have the same fingerprints.
However, there are also some creepy facts about the human body.
Redditors are well aware of this and are ready to share the creepiest facts they know about the human body.
It all started when Redditor MorBot07 asked:
"What creepy fact about the human body do you know?"
I Need To Go Take A Nap
"Too much lack of sleep can cause the brain to "eat itself", cutting connections and making things like alzheimer more probable in later life."
– 89_degree_angle
"nothing has been able to convince me to start sleeping more but i think this comment really did it for me.."
– r0saliaa
Can't Move
"If your spinal cord loses adequate blood supply for a short period of time, you can be temporarily paralyzed."
"The first sign that your spine is "waking up" again is that you regain a specific reflex, where if you squeeze that person's penis or clitoris, their anus contracts. If that happens, it's a good sign."
– AceAites
Just The Right Spot
"A single punch to the chest can stop your heart. A single punch to the gut can rupture your spleen and kill you. A single punch to the face or back of the head can kill you. (the back of the head being less sudden and more noticeable)..."
"Let it be known that, despite all the things we can endure, humans are insanely fragile in many ways you may not even have thought of."
– wolfyfancylads
The Other Side Of Me
"Some people’s organs are on the wrong side of their body, like a mirror image… It’s called Situs Inversus"
– smallCraftAdvisor
"This is true! I actually have this. Partial Situs Inversus. Dextrocardia. It doesn’t harm me just means my heart in on the wrong side so the opposite lung is smaller. Can cause issues when I’m sick but nothing more."
– FlamingArrowheads
My Choice
"There are pregnancy cancers. You can have little baby cell metastases growing in your brain if you decide to have a baby and some of cell multiplier genes go wrong."
– zeratul196
"Add that to the list of why I need bodily autonomy. 😬"
– chubbycat96
Time For A Reboot
"A seizure, despite how terrifying they may be, are your brain's response to the brain equivalent of a runtime error. Something happened that shouldn't have, and your brain is restarting to get everything running smoothly again."
"Source: epileptic since 2003"
– authorStanCrane
Ick!
"When we die, it looks like your fingernails are still growing, but it’s actually just the skin around your fingers shrinking."
– Comfortable-Pin-5769
A Body Is An Ecosystem
"Your body contains just as many foreign cells, i.e. gut bacteria, as your own body cells. These cells produce hundreds of neurochemicals that the brain uses to regulate basic physiological processes as well as mental processes such as learning, memory and mood. Some believe this is the "gut feeling" people sometimes get in certain situations."
– chaoschosen665
Genetics
"I’m currently pregnant with a girl. I’m currently holding the cells that could become my grandchild."
– dreamqueen9103
"Samesies. Every person in existence was once half inside their biological maternal grandmother."
– Magnaflorius
Counterproductive
"I don’t know if it qualifies as creepy.. I’m a nurse, and I’ve always found it interesting how the body attempts to compensate when sick which incidentally tends to lead to you becoming sicker because of how overworked your body is."
– Chowel98
Different Species, One Body
"An estimated 30 trillion cells in your body—less than a third—are human. The other 70-90% are bacterial and fungal. Ninety-nine percent of the unique genes in your body are bacterial."
– AwiiiLama
Uncomprehensible
"If you have a stroke (or other brain injury) that effects parts of the brain associated with speech, you will probably end up with some type of aphasia."
"For example, my “favorite” type of aphasia is Wernicke’s Aphasia; patients can form whole words and even sentences, but they usually make no sense. I had a patient with Wernicke’s Aphasia who would constantly say something close to “we have to rescue the dog(s) from the DMV!” It took me about 30 mins to figure out this person wanted something to drink."
– YayAdamYay
A Whole New Person
"I heard or read once that essentially every 7 years your body has completely regenerated. Of course it's a slow on going process but 7 years from now no cell that's currently in your body will still be there."
– randomradomski
No Changes
"Eyes are the only part of the body that don't grow. Same size when you die as when you were born."
– lookatmypackage
We Are Strong
"You could easily bite your own fingers or tongue off, but (unless you're seriously mentally ill) your brain prevents you from doing so."
– endorrawitch
They say knowledge is power, but I'm not sure I'm better off for knowing of this!
Until we're in a situation, we'll never really know how we'll react.
I have been in this scenario, though.
Sex matters. And people rarely want to admit how much.
But sex isn't a lifetime guarantee.
It fades, as does love.
It's important to speak about it.
It can be a fixable situation.
A relationship without sex may not be the end of the world, but it's definitely a sign that something is off.
Redditor Deviant55 wanted to talk about physical intimacy in relationships, so they asked:
"How important is sex to you in a relationship? Could you be with someone you love even if sex was off the table indefinitely?"
I learned how much sex matters in my last relationship.
Once I wasn't interested, it kind of killed everything.
Forever
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When my wife of 30+ years became too ill for sex to be even remotely interesting for her, I certainly did not end the relationship. I loved her and I took care of her until she died. No other course even occurred to me."
fvillion
Frustration
"When I met my wife we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. This lasted a few years. I was in my mid-twenties when we married. She developed a chronic medical issue. I’ve gone twenty years being sexually frustrated. There are stages and phases to this."
"What I came to realize is that I love my wife. Yes, sex is important in our relationship. But I would rather have her in my life with no sex than have sex without her."
"The thing is, I love her. She can’t help her situation. I can’t help it. One deals with it. Marriage is more than sex. It is building a life and memories, raising a family, and loving each other regardless of the challenges life throws our way. But sex is very important. It helps keep the closeness and the emotional bond. But it isn’t the only thing that does that."
QuietusNoctis
I Love Her
"It is complicated. I am in a near-sexless marriage. The wife needs antidepressants to function. And it kills her libido. So usually it is four to six times a year. My libido rages. And yeah, it sucks. I dream of more sex."
"But I love the chick. She loves me to the moon and back. I’m not willing to sacrifice her love so I can try dating again. Divorce rates these days? And I found a woman who more than tolerates me, she loves me. I’ll stay. And not to be crude but yeah I masturbate. A lot. She doesn’t begrudge me that. Occasionally she even encourages it."
"She went off her meds for a while. And man did we do it. But she was a mess. I need her healthy more than I need a shag. We travel together. We enjoy each other’s company. We actually like each other. I could claim that it is hell, but I choose to see all of the good I am blessed with."
painthawg_goose
Heartless
"Quite important. But I think it depends on where you are in the relationship. I've been married for 10 years. I have kids. If my wife suddenly couldn't have sex with me for some reason -- illness or injury or something -- I'm not divorcing her over it. That's heartless."
"Now, if she just decided we weren't ever having sex again because she didn't feel like it, that'd be different. Or if I was just starting to date someone and they told me they'd never have sex, I probably just wouldn't keep pursuing the relationship. Plenty of people out there who will."
Arkhangelzk
Necessity
"It depends on the circumstances. I LOVE doing it with my man but I love his heart and soul more. If we had to stop having sex for medical reasons or something I’d definitely stay with him and stay faithful. If I was single, I think it’s unlikely I’d start a new relationship knowing it would be sex free."
Fit_Technology8240
Heart and soul is just as necessary and hot and sweaty.
At least a lot of people recognize that.
Percentages
Giphy"Sex life is 10% of a relationship when it’s good and 90% of a relationship when it’s bad."
jakovichontwitch
"The other way I've heard it put is that sex is like the bathroom in your house. It's not the only reason you bought the house, but if it's not working it's a big problem."
molten_dragon
Age Related
"50-year-old here married for 27 years. It’s not important. It was important when we were younger but honestly, if sex wasn’t possible I would still love my wife and really nothing about our day would really change."
Kantforall
"I’ve been reading these comments and wishing that everyone’s age was flared on their post because I sense that there are a lot of under-60-year-olds. I am older than my wife but she is starting menopause and I can see the writing on the wall. Not super thrilled but I love her completely and understand. The real intimacy is in how we still (and will always) want to sleep touching each other and waking up next to each other."
caffeinated-hijinx
Kiss Me
"I honestly considered this before. I absolutely adored this guy. It was like a child relationship; we'd kiss and cuddle and hold hands and things, but he wouldn't have sex with me, nor would he commit properly. Any time we came close to sex, he'd go soft or back off."
"I couldn't understand it, wondered if I could keep doing that. My sex drive was wild. Why kiss and the rest but not sex?"
"Then one day he told me he was in love with me and asked me out properly. I said yes there and then, had a wonderful day with him, but when I went home, I was left questioning if I could possibly live without sex. I decided that yeah, I loved him but it would be tough."
"We had sex the next day. So yes, I think I probably could."
Adventurous_Train_48
Touchy/affectionate...
"It's very important. I'm a very affectionate and physical person and touch/caresses and anything physical is one of my love languages. I couldn't function with someone who is the opposite of me or who's uncomfortable with how I am. I already was in a relationship with someone who wasn't that touchy/affectionate and it created frustration for both of us."
Borboleta77
Don't Look at Me
"I am in a sexless relationship. He has erectile dysfunction and I really don't like sex in general. I'm really uncomfortable naked or even vulnerable. I'm shy around him despite the relationship being 10 years nearly, I'm even shy around my family and friends. Everything about sex makes me feel so embarrassed, and I feel nothing but negative feelings when I used to be sexually active. Not through choice of partner, I just hate that sort of attention."
NucularOrchid
Definitive!
Shake Handshake GIF by OriginalsGiphy"10/10. Sexual incompatibility is a deal breaker!"
oeeiae
Sex is important but not everything.
Until it is everything if it becomes an issue.
Good luck couples. Open and honest communication is key.
An important contributor to our overall health and happiness is the quality of our friendships.
We may not have a lot of friends, but the more important factor is the depth of those relationships.
But we've all had one of those friends who turned out not to be a very good friend at all.
Redditor Both-Support-7110 asked:
"When did you realize your 'friends' were just a**holes?"
Putting Them Down
"After I realized that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle."
"And that it isn't right when a 'friend' uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to."
- fobopi9445
"I luckily made a couple of friends that would just be supportive about stuff. So I slowly started talking to them more than my older friends as I saw the disparity between their responses."
"One side purely would be purely judgmental and try and bring me down, and the other would just be excited for me or be there to listen or whatever. Who wants to talk to the former when you have the latter?"
- Universeintheflesh
Using Them as a Convenience
"They only bothered with me when it suited them. I'd rather have nobody than have to deal with that."
- fobopi9445
Trying to Keep Them Small
"When they were nice at first but then cut me out of conversations, telling me not to 'butt in.' A friend doesn't dictate when you're allowed to speak."
- leatherwolf89
"Total a**hole move to have conversations in front of you only to tell you it doesn’t concern you and mean it. . . Like making plans and giving details about how someone like you could be included but specifically telling you not to invite yourself; making plans in front of someone and not inviting them is awful."
- dearlysacredherosoul
Using Them as Entertainment
"She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her."
"Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more."
"All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night, I was crying on the phone because I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other bulls**t reason and telling me to try again."
"The next day, they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point."
- vixayib976
Using Them to Feel Superior
"I didn't have many friends in grade school, but the times the kids actually gave me the time of day, it was to make me 'it' when we'd play tag. That's what I was there for. To continuously be 'it' so they could run away and feel superior. Because they knew I would agree to it no matter what."
- lunayoshi
Having Questionable Morals
"I had a friend that was a very promiscuous girl, I had no issue with that, until I found out she was using me and my innocent personality then, to distract her mom and make her think she was like me."
"Then she used my house as a literal hotel once, with my family here and everything... I knew that was it."
- luffve
Making Fun of Them
"When I made new friends and realized that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me."
- vatonef494
Prioritizing Money Over Them
"When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch."
- fobopi9445
Becoming Flaky
"I had a group that I was in from 2019-2021. They became a**holes over time, and it took me longer to see that. It was when I failed my psych 101 class (I'm not the best with online classes and tried the best I could) and when they heard about that, they laughed to my face, called me stupid and a failure."
"Early 2022, I met up with them again thinking it would just be a 'listen to this concert for someone we all know and go on our ways' thing."
"My one closer friend offered to drive me and I accepted, and then afterward she joined the group, made eye contact after the concert was done and said, 'bye,' and left with them to the doors. They doubled back and said, 'You can come with us to another town to a friend's place or I can get my mom to drive you home.'"
"I was so overwhelmed and embarrassed that I just went with them to the other town. I called my brother to come to pick me up after an hour, and when he was on his way out, everyone else left. Haven't been into contact with them again after that."
- shortedgyasain
Disappearing When It Counts
"They pretty much abandoned me in a time of pretty intense need. It solidified my decision to leave the area and go do something worthwhile."
- verisimilitu
No Reciprocation Allowed
"When he does s**t to me and acts like it’s no big deal, but then I do the same back, and he gets offended."
- vatonef494
Excluding Them From Plans
"I've got two examples here. One from childhood and one from adulthood. Pick your favorite."
"Childhood: Kid I knew when I was 8 or so. We used to hang out a lot of the time and often played together, doing the usual kid stuff. Then one day, he has to move away because of a change in his parent's financial situation and I was pretty bummed out about it."
"On the last day we were supposed to see each other, he hung out with someone else instead and when tried to join them, he physically shoved me away and told me I wasn't welcome. That one stung."
"Adulthood: When they keep telling me about plans they made and things they did together or wanted to do together, but never bother to invite or include me in any of it. There's one of them I get along with and he'll invite me to things as long as it's just with him, but when he's with the group, he excludes me."
"I remember one example in particular where they were discussing a new site to do some photography and they fell short a man. One of them looks at me like I'm the spare tire in his car and goes: 'I guess you can come with us this one time.', to which another replies: 'Nah, he doesn't want to go. He doesn't like photography.'"
"I told him I was perfectly capable of answering for myself and didn't need him to act as my answering machine, but it lost a lot of impact because he was right. I don't like photography and didn't want to go. I just didn't like being talked about that way."
"Good luck making that clear to them, though. All they heard was: 'If he was right anyway, then why are you b*tching about it?'"
"I no longer hang out with them. I eventually got sick of being treated like the spare guy they can use in case none of the 'main crew' was attending, so I dropped them."
- Kuliari
Terrible Priorities
"In 2006, my then-best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had end-stage cancer."
"Dad died on August 8th, a couple of days after my friend returned from the festival. I called him because I needed someone to talk to."
"He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was."
"You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years, I'd been there for him whenever he got dumped, and the one time I needed a friend, he wasn't there for me. I told him to shut my door from the outside and lose my number."
- fobopi9445
Undesirable Behaviors
"I was 15, we were hanging out in the alleyway behind my friend’s house as we did almost every day after school."
"One girl was there from the year above us and they started prank calling the child protective services emergency line, pretending to be a child in distress, and they all laughed."
"After a few rounds of this, I felt queasy and left. Never hung out with them again. I still feel bad for not saying something or putting a stop to it, but the girl was older and 'cool.'"
- Brasscogs
Taking Advantage of Them
"I've been posting on him recently, he was my former neighbor and friend. We didn't immediately hit it off but after a while, we became good friends."
"I tried helping him out (he's an unemployed single dad of two special needs kids). He eventually saw my kindness as something to take advantage of, so late last fall, he either broke into my house (or enabled someone else to do it for him) and stole money from me."
"When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"I can't say it doesn't hurt."
- llcucf80
Friendships are incredibly important, but we're unfortunately not meant to be friends with everyone. Some people simply do not turn out to be the friends we thought they were.
We may know that this happens, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.