"A Redditor asked: 'What's an unwritten rule in your household?'"
There are rules in life where people are expected to just know how to operate without being told.
For instance, if someone falls down... help them.
When you like a sweater in a store... get money to buy it.
Just leaving with it won't go over well.
And there are more rules, or guidelines to adhere to...
Redditor christygl7 wanted to hear about what is expected in people's homes without words, so they asked:
"What's an unwritten rule in your household?"
If you have to pee... lift the seat cover.
The people in Port Authority always miss that one.
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"Either my wife or I can do any chore when noticed. We thank each other for routine chores as we appreciate each other."
"That’s how my fiancée and I handle chores. Whoever’s around when the core needs to be done does the chore, typically. I find she does more regular cleaning of the whole apartment while I do more dishes and cooking."
"Replacing the trash bag IS PART OF taking out the trash."
"Similar to this, in my house, the rule is if the toilet paper ended on your turn (or there’s barely enough for the next person) then it is your job to procure the next roll and put it in the bathroom. It is NOT acceptable to let it run out for the next person."
"We have extra stored in every bathroom. I make sure of it. However, if it runs low/out on the roll, my wife will 100% of the time take the new roll and set it on top of the empty tube on the spindle, refusing to replace it. I actually called her over and shamed her into changing it in front of me the other night (not in an abusive way - we were both laughing about it)."
"If you find money in the laundry while you are doing the laundry, it's yours."
"Yep. My boyfriend learned that lesson the hard way when we first started living together. He had a bad habit of just crumpling up bills in a big wad in his pocket, usually just ones, but sometimes he accidentally leaves a twenty in there. I tipped myself the twenty. It took him a couple of days of trying to figure out where it went before I took pity on him and told him."
"He now both turns out his pockets and washes his own clothes. I still find the occasional single dollar in the dryer."
"If food is dropped on the floor it becomes the property of the dog. The dog knew this rule before we did."
"That was one of the hardest things after our family dog died. Dropped something? Who cares! Riley will get it. But then he didn’t."
"Also, I don’t live at home anymore but coming home to him barking and crying out of excitement and greeting me always made my day and I looked forward to it every time I opened the door and could hear him wiggling in excitement on the side hahaha. It’s a little less exciting coming home now."
Obligations...Water Stay GIF by Kinda FunnyGiphy
"If the water you take from the Brita pitcher leaves what’s left below a certain line, you are obligated to refill the pitcher on penalty of death."
If you stay in my home and don't refill the Brita pitcher...
I'm setting your hair on fire at 3 AM!!!
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"Check the toilet after you flush."
"This. My brother-in-law never does this. It's annoying and disgusting! You don't want to clean up after yourself because you think it's gross? How do you think it makes me feel to clean up after you?"
"Wake someone up if their alarm goes off. It's a pretty weird one but setting up alarms is a conscious and deliberate decision for all of us and you want to wake up when it goes off, so we just help each other out."
"I'll do this a few times, but my roommate needs to learn not to hit snooze because he's taught his body that alarms don't need to be woken up to. I don't wake him up anymore. He started waking up to them."
"I’ll wake them up because it annoys me when people snooze especially if I’m next to them in the bed and I don’t have to get up."
"Shoes off at the door. No exceptions."
"Shoes-on people must not be using the same public bathrooms that I do. 100% of them have a lake of dirty urine in front of the urinal. They must also be amazing at finding two urine-free spots that are shoe-sized on the shores of said lake. It’s fine if they want to bring that into their homes. It’s not allowed in mine, though."
"No tech at the table."
"Even with a teenage daughter this has proved eerily easy; we all love food though!!"
"Also murder is out of the question, it is non-negotiable. If any of us kills another then they are outlawed in the true sense."
"Other than this, we are pretty cool."
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"Let the dog out to go potty before you use the restroom. (Seriously, the dog is asking to go out and you think she can wait while you take a 30-minute poop first? Not cool.)"
Always let the dogs go first.
If you wait, you won't like the surprise they leave!
No one's life is going to be perfect, and we cannot be happy 100% of the time.
But there are things we can do to make our lives, and others', better, and those things are not necessarily all that complicated.
Redditor shadow_2116 asked:
"What are some unwritten life rules everyone must know?"
"If you don't understand something someone is telling you, say so instead of pulling an 'opinion' on the topic out of your a**. There is no shame in not knowing or understanding something."
"Refusing to admit you don't know and by extension refusing to learn something new because your ego is hurt is gravely misguided, however."
"In the song 'Grand Illusion' by Styx, there is a line: 'Don’t be fooled by the radio, tv, or the magazine. Shows you photographs of how your life should be, compared to someone else’s fantasy.'"
"So, I guess, the idea that you might not feel like you're living your best life when you compare it with what you're told is supposed to be your best life."
" Also along this line, 'Don’t compare your day-to-day life to someone else’s highlights.' Like, don’t compare your life to what bits you see of someone on social media."
A Golden Rule for Kids
"If a toddler hands you a toy phone, you answer it."
"Family" Isn't a Reason
"Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they're a good person."
"It's so wild how people call you a bad person for avoiding your family despite knowing nothing about their family."
"Like, 'It doesn't matter what they did, you were in the wrong because they're family,' makes zero sense to me, but other people look at me like I'm the lost one.
"Not everybody is your friend, so be careful who you vent to. Many people only want juicy gossip and don’t give a s**t about you or your problems."
"A good sign of this is when your friend brings you dirt or juicy stuff about someone else that likely was said in confidence or probably shouldn't have been communicated out."
"If they do that, your info is equally being dished out."
"Putting folks on informational diets is the way to go until you gain a supreme level of mutual trust."
"Under promise and over deliver. People will think you are a genius."
Don't Ask the Question You Don't Want the Answer To
"Don’t ask for somebody else’s opinion and get mad when they tell it to you."
Compliments Make a Difference
"It never hurts to compliment somebody on the quality of their work, their hobbies, and whatever field are most important to their self-esteem. It always goes a long way."
Friendship Reality Check
"Your best friend may not consider you to be their best friend."
Be Able to Walk Away
"Never let anyone take or disturb your peace. Learn to walk away from toxic people!"
No Sudden Reactions
"Your feelings are valid, but your reactions may not be."
"If you ever find yourself feeling very angry at somebody, and want to give them a piece of your mind either over text, email, or phone, listen to this advice. It’s some of the best I have ever learned."
"Write down what you would want to say first, either in a word document or email or whatever, save it, but DO NOT send it. Then, wait at least 12 hours or overnight and revisit what you wrote."
"After having a cool-off period and some time to gain some clarity, 90% of the time you would have regretted having sent the original message and are usually in a much better place to respond so as to not burn any bridges that you meant to keep."
"I’ve always heard of this as having 'restraint of pen and tongue' and is one of the clearest signs of maturity."
"Before you enter and elevator, LET OTHER PEOPLE OUT FIRST, GODD**NIT!"
Don't Make It Worse
"If someone does something unintentionally embarrassing or awkward, you pretend it didn't happen, and if they look at you, you just smile and look away."
A Few Golden Tips
"Admit when you've done something wrong."
"Trust your gut."
"Nobody thinks as much about you as yourself."
"Be kind. Don't be an a**hole."
"If you need help and it is available, ask for it, take it."
"Just because you apologize doesn't mean the other party has to forgive and forget."
The Best of Times and the Worst of Times
"Life actually sucks a lot of the time. If you expect to be happy all the time, you will be sorely disappointed and lost. Instead, work up resilience to the hard times and take your time to enjoy the good times."
"It can take so long to learn this, because no one really talks about it, and for some weird reason the only accepted default state is 'happy.'"
"Another factor is how that's basically what you are until 15 years old. Until your basic reptile adult 'survival responsibility' kicks in, we're oblivious and happy most of the time. Then suddenly, the baseline changes, and almost no one is prepared for it, and the only reasonable conclusion is that you're mentally ill and depressed."
"That's why I take every opportunity I get to talk about how much life sucks so that people can enjoy it more with less fantastical expectations, lol (laughing out loud)."
There are so many good pieces of advice here, but perhaps the most wonderful thing is that it doesn't take a lot to make someone's day a little better, including your own.
Sex is fun. That is rule #1... sex should be fun.
And it should be safe and responsible and yada yada yah.
Sex should be all of those things. And it should be something we can speak openly about.
Let's not sit around waiting for Madonna to sing about it some more, let's already implement the lessons she's espoused.
There are rules and conversations to be had, and no class in school, or book is going to be able to tell you everything.
So let's chat...
Redditorxk543xwanted to talk about sex baby.
"What are some unspoken rules of sex?"
Try to stay as sober as possible. Not remembering due to alcohol or whatever your poison is, just feels empty.
"Cut/sand down any fingernails you plan to put inside another person."
pengd0tSeth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"To all the cowgirls out there, the penis is breakable, be a bit gentle."
"That audible pop will never leave your mind. Even after Alzheimer's riddles your brain."
"Yeah, if you're a cowgirl, grinding your hips back and forth is the motion, not bouncing up and down. If you want a thrusting motion when you're on top, lay down on top of him and let him do the work."
Bad Move Bro...
"Never tell a woman, 'oh but I didn't have an issue with this with my exes."'This was when I tried to tell him, again, but well after sex that he was just rubbing my clit wrong. He was practically jabbing it with his thumb like it was an elevator button. Every woman is different!"
"I had a guy ask my if I was enjoying myself because I wasn't moaning in that moment and 'most people are moaning more by now.' We never had sex again."
"Give them a hug and kiss afterwards. It helps."
"Depends. Could be confusing to someone just expecting casual sex and getting that... might seem like a pity hug or something. The phrasing reminds me of something Abby would encounter on Broad City to be honest."
"But yeah ~ do that when dating someone, definitely. Hug, kiss, cuddle as default. Hugging and a kiss after finishing is not a rule for sex, its a rule for 'intimate or semi-intimate partner' sex. Sex for the first time with someone and you're 'meh' about seeing them again, DO NOT hug/kiss. That is just leading the other person to believe that there is more to the encounter than what you're feeling."
Stay the Course...
"Please do not go faster/harder if you can tell I am about to finish. Do exactly what you were doing that got me there."
"Sincerely, my clitoris."
tinybirdblueRelaxed Basketball Wives GIF by VH1Giphy
Be confident. And be truthful. If they're doing it wrong... say it. Help the next person out.
"Don't start talking about your ex or your kids at any point in proceedings."
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I'm Only Me
"Don't blame you. Being compared to other partners is rude and weird, especially in the moment. Imo, it's healthier and more enjoyable to approach sex as a fun, exploratory connection, rather than a 'if I do X, they do Y! If they do this, I get that!' So many sexual scripts are inaccurate, and they reduce the uniqueness of connecting with an individual."
"If you’re enjoying something, just enjoy it, and don’t ask them where they learned to do it."
"My wife and I are poly. One time I was going down on someone who was pretty new to the scene and I guess they were impressed because they asked 'did [wife] teach you that?' I didn't really have an answer besides '..no?' and they just sort of seemed generally uncomfortable until we stopped a couple minutes later. They obviously ended up realizing that non-monogamy wasn't really for them and we stayed platonic friends. <3"
"Possibly TMI but I love pretty much all sex, seeing it, hearing about it, etc. but I can get why people don't want to think about partners with other people. To this day that feels like such a weird fucking question for someone in the latter category to ask during sex."
And you are?
"Don’t get their name wrong."
“'Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences. You’re well within your rights to shout out another person’s name while making love to your partner… but if you don’t think there won’t be at LEAST a discussion…' - Russell Howard"
"Hygiene... that is all."
"Wash your EVERYTHING!!!"
Don't be Awkward
"Don’t ask a woman to brush her teeth after she’s given you oral sex before you’ll kiss her. She will cry. And also, she’s just had YOUR PENIS in her mouth. To be fair, 25-year-old me didn’t know he was going to lose his virginity that night, but still. Learned that one real quick. Was real awkward."
Warm Up Essential!
"Pre heat the oven don’t just shove it in."
"Always salt your pasta while boiling it."
"Never fart if a girl is giving you oral sex."
"This happened to me in college. Right when I got off. She jerked her head up from the shock wave, stench and ended up with a mess. Ol' Smelly Musket."
"This happened once and I was so embarrassed. My gf finished like a champ but she still makes fun of me."
"All stuffed animals OFF the bed..They don't need to see this. (Context, I am 20f and sleep with a cuddly toy)."
Oobleoobletsacademy awards stuffed animal GIF by E!Giphy
"Even when you are clean you’ll still have a natural body odor of some kind. Don’t talk about it."
"There are people out there with 'weird' odor issues, which probably should be dealt with, but yeah usually it's more like a unique smell, rather than a pleasant or unpleasant smell, and if you get negative thoughts just by smelling them, you're probably just not happy with that person."
"If you want to do something kinky that you've never done with that person, or never explicitly talked about, START SLOW! We hear the choked-out-of-nowhere horror stories surprisingly often in comments, it's always people going 0 to 100 and scaring the crap out of their partner."
"For that example, you start with like a playful, gentle grab of the neck, see how your partner responds or ask if you're not sure. Then you kinda work up in stages until you reach the limit of what's comfortable, or ideally what feels best. You know, instead of helping someone live their nightmares. I think people would be more willing to explore if these crappy experiences weren't so common."
"This is why."
"The partner that doesn't get an orgasm out of it is sooner or later going to be trying to rush through sex as quickly as possible. They won't want foreplay and they'll be happy for you to come quick."
"Why doesn't my partner want sex?"
"This is why."
"Not a single rule should go unspoken, with the exception of mutual respect. Ask questions and make clear boundaries before, during, and after. want to try something? ask. Not comfortable with something? Tell them."
Western_Cook8422speak jimmy fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonGiphy
"The unspoken rule of sex should be to SPEAK. Don’t get me wrong, a good mindless, in-the-moment, tuned to each other’s bodies session is great, but if you’re having sex with someone you care about, take the time to discuss goals, wants, needs, and anything else ahead of time. 'Here’s what I want' should be spoken by each party, so you have a clear goal, and know what to do to reach it."
"Maybe your goal is to finish and go to bed. Maybe it’s to try something new. Maybe you just want to be given oral for hours or worshipped. Maybe you want to be berated and disciplined. It opens up a world of opportunity you otherwise wouldn’t ever explore because you never discussed it."
I hope you all wrote this down, or bookmarked. Especially that last one. Sadly it's too often overlooked.
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