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People Break Down The Worst Double Standards

People Break Down The Worst Double Standards
Photo by Icons8 Team on Unsplash

Life is full of double standards and double edged swords. Which of course means that life... is eternally unfair.

Whether it's a sexist issue, a work issue, a race issue, there always seems to be levels of judgement that leave certain parties feeling slighted.

A perfect example is curfews. I can understand having a later curfew when relating to age, but when growing up, several of my female friends had earlier curfews than their younger brothers. Fair? I think not.

Also, parenting is full of double standards. How many times was I told not to curse when half of the adults out there have the mouths of sailors? Mhmmm...

Redditor u/CLHiddenInPlainSight wanted to discuss the most egregious unfairness in life by asking:

What's the WORST double standard?

One of the most stressful and aggravating places for double standards is the workplace. If we all work hard and stay focused we should all be rewarded accordingly. So often that is not the case. Women and people of color and gender expressions are often overlooked in order to promote less productive people. I call BS.

Are you working?

Work Sucks GIF by MOODMAN Giphy

"My Boss has brought me into his office repeatedly to tell me I don't do enough work and that we are all swamped right now. My Department is short staffed. Yet he has no issues sitting at his desk watching movies all day long, yet if I sit for five minutes to shoot off an email I am wasting my time."

- IdealIgnition

Wining and Working

"I used to work nights by choice, which meant that occasionally I'd knock off work and decide to have a glass of wine before bed. For me, that was about eight in the morning, when my housemates at the time were getting up to go to their nine-to-fives. The reaction from people was insane."

"For me, it seemed way weirder to sleep during the day, wake up in the late afternoon, then get dressed and go out for dinner and drinks with them, which basically meant that I was having wine for breakfast -- but from their perspective, that made perfect sense. Night work is weird."

- StripedContents

Sleep Tight

"My stocking manager at my first job (stocking for a grocery store) didn't teach me any of the techniques or methods for efficiency (yes, there are methods and techniques to stocking shelves as quickly and efficiently as possible), so I was very slow at it for a while. Turns out he never trained me because he was too busy napping in the office during our shifts."

"He would help us unload the truck when it got in, and then disappear to his office for the next 5-6 hours while we stocked so he could sleep. Like I understand helping with the shelves isn't necessarily his job, but not training your new employee and sleeping on the job is super crappy."

- Sad-Pop-4898

Crazy Pops

"My grandfather. He acts like an a**hole then gets upset when he gets called on his bull. He's also very quick to use first amendment rights to try and cover his a**, which gets him yelled at even further. He also makes things political during family gatherings, which nets him plenty of nasty looks from both me and my mother. Unfortunately, chewing him out is the only way to shut him up. I'm sorry for complaining so much, I just really needed to get that out of my system."

- SarcasticDragon1682

Goes Both Ways

The Office Monday GIF by 20th Century Fox Home Entertainment Giphy

"Employers expecting loyalty from employees while provided none in return. Sorry, buddy, loyalty is a two-way street. If you can terminate my employment at a moment's notice, then I reserve the right to leave when I want to."

- ChronoLegion2

I knew a ton of these would be work related. As we head back from Covid it's really time to rethink and make adjustments to these situations. Also, grandpa is never changing.

Rationalize This!

angry pegboard nerds GIF by Monstercat Giphy

"That my employer expects me to flawlessly come into work on time every day with no excuses allowed, yet our paychecks being late are met with rationalizations and excuses from the payroll department."

- GrannyGoodness79

Puff Elsewhere

"Breaks during work. Acceptable for smokers, questionable for non."

- dppatel20200505

"I'm a smoker, and at my last job I smoked 3 cigarettes every day. One at ~10am, another one right after lunch, and the third at ~15. I had 30 minutes lunchbreaks, which I only used 20 of to justify the smoking. And once he said I was smoking too much, and wasted so much time, blah blah. It didn't matter anymore when I told him I'd take my full lunchbreaks from now on, without interruption."

- Unicorn_Bradly

Crazy Historical Events That Sound Fake But Are 100% True | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

lazy days...

"It isn't the worst double standard, far from it, but it's annoying. It's about the workers who start early (and leave early) vs the workers who start late (and leave late). Let's say I start to work at the office at 6am while my coworker starts at 8am. If I leave at 2pm and he leaves at 4pm, we would have accomplished about the same amount of work. For some reason, I'd be the one who's tagged as lazy because I leave the job earlier. It didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it a few times during my career."

- Smooth-Cry3082

Mr. Dad

"When a mom can parent but a dad can only babysit."

- SharkMouthFleshlight

"UGH. My kids are 9 and 11 and when they were younger (so not that long ago), my husband would take them grocery shopping or to the park or to the movies, etc. and so often he'd get "oh, how cute, you're babysitting!" He was like "Umm, no, they're my kids. I'm parenting." SMH."

- HouseRenovations

Tools & Toys

Lets Go Ghost GIF by Arrow Video Giphy

"When I was a kid if I left my toys out and one of my parents stepped on them I got yelled at and in trouble for not putting my toys away. On the other hand, when my dad left his tools out and I stepped on one I got yelled at for not watching where I was stepping."

- Song_Sufficient

Blackmail

"I had a friend that worked at a batting cage in high school. The dude that owned the place was super shady and would always pay my friend like 1-2 weeks late. One day my friend had been waiting several days for his paycheck and the owner rolls in to work in a new Lexus. My friend ended up stealing some equipment and keeping it in his car with the threat of reporting the owner if he didn't get paid that day. Lo and behold the owner came up with the money and my friend quit the next day."

- shirtlessin1stclass

BS!

"School administrations will throw a dog-and-pony show about how much they will not tolerate bullying, yet will do nothing when it is taking place within their school. The bullied kid can speak up all they want but nothing will get done without hard evidence or some other BS. What happens when he has had enough and starts hitting back?"

"Suddenly he's the aggressor and now the Principal wants to exact their Zero Tolerance Policy on that kid who justifiably defended himself. If you are a parent and are concerned for your child being a recipient of bullying, empower them to use violence to defend themselves. In some situations violence is the answer."

- TheDoc16

Personal Loss

"Wage theft is larger than all other forms of theft combined, but is not considered a crime. If you steal $100 from the register, you will go to jail, be branded a felon and (potentially) lose your voting rights. If your boss leaves $100 out of your paycheck you can maybe recoup some portion of that after a protracted civil case at significant personal cost."

- Smart_A**_Dave

Louder!

Meme Reaction GIF by reactionseditor Giphy

"Person 1 yells at Person 2, then gets offended if Person 2 yells back at them."

- Comfortable_Bid7632

You're Hired

"That people won't hire you if you don't have experience but how do you get experience if no one hires you??"

- columba2014

"It's a sign of an industry that is perceived to have enough workers. They know that there are experienced people available, and they don't want to train up a green employee because it costs more."

- superkp

You're Fired!

"Companies will fire you without notice but expect a 2 week notice when the employee resigns."

- Bayloryoo

"Honestly I do it more as a courtesy to my colleagues so I can properly transition my ongoing projects to them. I've been fortunate enough to like my coworkers at all of my jobs and I don't want to make their lives harder for little benefit to me. It's not like the new job is going anywhere in that time."

- tipmeyourBAT

Respect

"Young people have to respect their elders, but then said elders can say and do as they please."

- Fruitcereal_andMocha

"Yeah. Had this happen to me. My parents raised me to be their equal. Multiple times I'd be dating a woman with "old fashion" parents who expected me to defer to them as though I'm twelve. They didn't like me much."

- II_Confused

Sharp Edges

raul julia GIF Giphy

"You can carry two single-edged knives, but a single double-edged knife is automatically illegal."

- ThadisJones

Medical Fails

"If you take maternity leave, your job/position is protected and your medical insurance still covers you. You can also use any campus facility at my previous university as you are still "considered a student" and your scholarships can be put on hold. NSERC even pays a stipend."

"Get cancer and need to take some time off? Welp, job's not held, your insurance refuses to cover you as you "aren't working". You'll also lose your scholarships and being "on a medical leave of absence" means you can't use any uni's facility without paying a premium."

- rainfal

Lacking Morales

"Colleges that teach ethics while ripping the students off in every way possible. I believe that ethics should still be about what is right or wrong... not what you can legally get away with."

- Trick-Dragonfruit-69

"As a former college student, I felt this one. I feel like every college views students as walking ATMs and I went to a public college so I kind only imagine how much worse a private school would be."

- Think_Tie8025

Oh that dad one got me. Why can you keep your clothes on the floor but I can't? Life doesn't have to be perfect but it can certainly be a bit more fair.

Old Wives' Tales People Still Believe For Some Reason

"Reddit user the_spring_goddess asked: 'What is an old wives tale that people still believe?'"

Close up of an owl tilting their head to side, looking bewildered
Photo by Josh Mills

The old wives' tales.

They are the stories of legend.

I think we all need a big DEEP Google dive though.

Where did they originate?

WHO ARE THE OLD WIVES!

You don't hear about them as much anymore.

It's like science and logic are suddenly a thing.

But they sure are a good way to keep your kids and their behavior in line.

Redditor the_spring_goddess wanted to discuss the tall tales we've all been fed through life, so they asked:

"What is an old wives tale that people still believe?"

"Wait an hour to swim after eating."

What a crock!

So many summer hours wasted.

I want revenge for that one.

Say Nothing

Giphy

"An undercover cop has to tell you he's a cop if you ask him."

LonelyMail5115

"Pretty much most advice when it comes to cops are old wives tales. I’m not even a cop but most of the advice you hear is pretty off."

I_AM_AN_A**HOLE_AMA

Say Something

"That you have to wait 24 hours to report someone missing."

Severe_Airport1426

"I really think this one is important and should be the top regardless. As it’s a piece of advice that needs to be relearned and the only way to do that is through awareness."

crappycurtains

"This used to be true. I think they changed it after some guy named Brandon went missing back in the '80s or '70s. You used to have to wait 24 hours if the missing person was an adult because they had 'a right to be missing' and then everyone realized that was stupid and stopped doing it."

AlbinoShavedGorilla

Body Temps

"That drinking ice cold water after eating oily foods will solidify the oil and permanently remain in your body. I informed my coworker that if your body temperature ever reached that point, you’d have bigger problems than weight gain."

chriseo22

"Oh, I have a cousin who 100% believed this. One of those guys who believed every early 2000s internet rumor and old wives tale. One night I chugged a big glass of ice water after dinner and he started freaking out and saying my guts were gonna harden."

"I sarcastically told him to drive me to the hospital if that happened. Obviously, nothing happened and the next morning I said something like 'Thanks for being on standby in case my guts filled with hardened oil.' He just walked off muttering under his breath."

apocalypticradish

Arms Down

"When I was pregnant, I was told by young and old alike that I should NOT raise my arms above my head or exert myself in such a manner because it could cause cord strangulation to my unborn sons and daughters."

Fatmouse84

10 Years Actually

Unimpressed Uh Huh GIF by Brooklyn Nine-Nine Giphy

"Chewing gum stays in your stomach for 7 years."

REDDIT

"I remember accidentally swallowing a piece of gum when I was a kid in like 1995 and just accepting my fate like welp, gonna have this in my stomach til high school I guess."

Gecko-911

I was so afraid to sallow my gum when I was young.

This tale is haunting.

High/Low

Hungry Debra Messing GIF by Will & Grace Giphy

"You can tell the sex of the baby by how you carry."

LeastFormal9366

"Pregnancy certainly wins awards for the most old wives tales. So much absolute BS was repeated to us by everyone we talked to."

IllIIIlIllIlIIlIllI

The Cursed

"If you’re a woman and you wear opal jewelry but opal is not your birthstone (October), you’ll never be able to have children, or will be widowed, or just generally have bad luck or something. You can counteract this by having a diamond in the same piece of jewelry as the opal, though."

"I have a nice opal ring that my parents gave me years ago, and I’ve had other women give me this 'advice' unprompted more than once when I’ve worn it. I have absolutely no idea where it started, but I’m pretty sure this little chunk of silicate rock has no concept of what month I was born in, let alone of how my reproductive organs work."

SmoreOfBabylon

Stay In

"Going outside with wet hair will make you get pneumonia. Or an earache. Or maybe arthritis. Depends on which old wife you listen to."

"Jokes on them - I haven't blow-dried my hair in decades and usually leave the house with wet hair in the morning. On winter mornings, the tips of my hair get frozen. No ear infections or pneumonia or arthritis yet."

worldbound0514

Dreams and Facts

"You never make anyone up in your dreams you've seen everyone in your dreams somewhere else before and never make anyone up entirely."

"How would you possibly prove that to be true? My partner adamantly believes this and tells me this 'fact' whenever I have a dream about someone I've never met before."

mattshonestreddit

"My late wife used to tell me that before she met me she would have dreams of standing at an alter on her wedding day but could never see the guy's face, no matter how hard she tried. After meeting me the face was filled in with mine. Don't know if it's true but one of those things I like thinking of every now and then when I miss her."

Darthdemented

Cracked

Getting Ready Episode 2 GIF by The Office Giphy

"Some people still believe cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Choice-Grapefruit-44

"There's a doctor (Donald Unger) that cracked his knuckles a couple of times a day for 60 years, but only on one hand, just to prove it. Both hands remained exactly the same."

MacyTmcterry

I love my knuckles.

Do you have any tall tales to add to the list? Let us know in the comments below.

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?