Selfless People Share The Best "Take One For The Team" Stories[rebelmouse-image 18359639 is_animated_gif=
One of he most difficult actions in life is to take action. To be able to stand up and admit defeat or guilt takes hutzpah. But taking credit when you're innocent for the sake of others? That takes character you don't see very often. Maybe if that sort of valor or humanity was on display more often we wouldn't be as divided as we are currently.
Redditor DevinTryan wanted to know What's the biggest "take one for the team" moment you've seen? Now not every tale will be life saving or Nobel Prize worthy -and some people are still shady- but a lot of responses are worthy of a clap.
BREAK THE KNOB...
From one of my friends, I heard that there was a huge party in one of the dorm rooms at a boarding school. It was one of the last nights and the teachers were going around hoping to catch people doing stuff they weren't supposed to be doing.
Apparently, when a teacher tried their best to open a door, senior held it down and had everyone else escape through the backdoor. Needless to say, he got kicked out and nobody else did. What a legend.
SOME PEOPLE ARE SAINTS AMONG US...[rebelmouse-image 18359640 is_animated_gif=
I thought it was noble how older Japanese people volunteered to help clean up the Fukushima reactor because they knew the horrors of radiation and that they wouldn't live as long as the younger generation who would have to worry about long term effects like cancer and leukemia. That takes a very deep understanding of the finite nature of your own life, and a strong sense of duty.
YOU STINK!![rebelmouse-image 18359641 is_animated_gif=
So in high school there was this group of friends who decided to bring stink bombs to mess around with. However, one of them dropped a bomb by accident right in the middle of Math class, prompting the classroom and hallway to smell like death. Obviously, the class got questioned about it immediately, so one dude from the group that brought the stink bombs, and who wasn't the one who dropped it, made up a story on the spot so his friends could avoid punishment.
He basically said that he had this really bad intestinal infection that made him pass really bad gas. He couldn't hold it anymore so he farted. Thing is the teacher and prefects were actually believing him to the point where they were gonna call an ambulance, but somewhere along the conversation he slipped up and got caught in the lie. He was still determined to take one for the team so he said he was the only one who brought the stink bombs. So he got punished for lying about the smell and for bringing stink bombs to school.
A MORAL WIN MEANS MORE! RIGHT?[rebelmouse-image 18359642 is_animated_gif=
Got fired for reporting my employer to the authorities because he was knowingly poisoning the entire office with lead fumes. I had tried to work with him to solve the problem for 6 months. When he started ripping strips off of Jr employees for things out of their control I knew things had gone too far and I had no choice, knowing that despite the authorities promises that they would protect my job the reality was they would do stuff and I would lose my job.
FOLLOW MY LEAD...[rebelmouse-image 18979894 is_animated_gif=
Where I work we get audited by auditors every few years just so they can see we're following compliance laws and policies set forth by the company. I just joined in to the company less than 7 months and all the staff were playing hide and seek when the auditor stepped into the room. They wanted to observe and shadow an employee and no one volunteered or had the balls to show up. I eventually said f--- it and elected myself just so we could wrap that it up and the auditor could leave. Passed with flying colors and company got a bonus. Was too early to ask for a raise sadly.
I AM SPARTACUS![rebelmouse-image 18979895 is_animated_gif=
This is mild but once someone pulled the fire alarm in school after hours had ended (we had supplementary classes)
The crazed middle aged demon of a teacher held an entire class of 25 (including some kids who weren't even in the class) back for over 2 and a half hours just because no one wanted to confess.
So then, my quiet, never-been-in-trouble classmate decided to get it over with and just said he did it and let the yelling commence.
There was no yelling, but teacher only allowed us to leave in groups according to their vision of who were the most well-behaved students in their eyes.
WAKE UP!![rebelmouse-image 18979896 is_animated_gif=
During my time in the Navy I volunteered for the graveyard shift 2x because no one else wanted to do it. We weren't allowed to sleep during the day either.
N.A.V.Y. Never Again Volunteer Yourself
BLESS YOU FRIEND...[rebelmouse-image 18979897 is_animated_gif=
When I worked at the golden arches we had a customer... paint the stall in the men's room with... you know. I was heavily pregnant so I noped the heck out of that. I offered an incentive to whatever poor soul went in to clean it. Debates on who would do it lasted about 15 minutes and one of my more troublesome crew members decided he really wanted an hour break, paid, so he volunteered. He spent 2 hours doing the task, with repeated trips outside to puke. After he was done, I called my boss and explained, with photos, what happened and sent the guy home 4 hours early and paid his entire shift. I had to replace his uniform, just so he could drive home. We torched the old one.
TOO SAD...[rebelmouse-image 18979898 is_animated_gif=
When I was pretty young, like between the ages of 5-12 or something, me and my best friend were basically inseparable. The two of us used to be pretty mischievous, and got into a lot of trouble, especially in school. We'd spend a lot more time at my house than at his, and whenever one of my parents would get mad about something that we did, he would try to take all the blame himself. He told me years later that his parents were physically abusive behind closed doors, and he assumed the same of every family. The reason he took the blame for everything was because he thought everyone's parents would beat them fairly regularly, but he knew that my parents would never touch him, because he wasn't their kid.
I'LL DO IT... I'M SPECIAL...[rebelmouse-image 18979899 is_animated_gif=
Told my dad I was the one who dropped my brother, who was bleeding, instead of my sister because I was liked better and would've received a less severe punishment.
THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND...[rebelmouse-image 18979901 is_animated_gif=
When I was around 10 my friend and I were front flipping onto a mattress in my basement. My dad had just put wood panel on the walls to complete our basement renovation. My friend did a front flip and his foot went through the wall. My friend's dad was a big scary man who always yelled at him. So I told my dad it was me.
My dad ended up suuuuper pissed, went down the street to consult another Dad on what to do about the whole thing. I sat in my room bawling my eyes because I was so afraid of what was going to happen to me.
My dad came back, gave me a hug, and told me he loved me. He explained that people make mistakes, and turned it into a life lesson. In a way, it created a really good memory of my dad.
Heck, maybe my friends a-hole dad would've responded the same way, and created a bond with him, and I made him miss out on that.....probably not though.
SOUND THE TRUMPET!![rebelmouse-image 18979902 is_animated_gif=
In high school I was the 1st Chair trumpet in band, along with one other experienced student, we had 2 new students one that transferred from a smaller school out of state and one who had been a suck up to the band teacher and got put in the advanced band class.
Our band teacher was an absolute witch, was to hard on every student and didn't properly lead the band, she was just there because we were a problem school and it looked good on her resume.
The student that had transferred from out of state was probably good at his old school but he didn't hold up to our standard, but he had 3 years of trumpet experience. But He made an effort every class to better him self, he would constantly ask for tips, help and practice sessions with me and the 2nd chair student.
But anytime he messed up during class practice the band teacher would slam her hands on the podium and scream at the trumpet section, she would ask who it was and even before he could answer the Kiss-butt would point him out. Me and 2nd chair student confronted the teacher about this problem and that the transfer student was doing so much to improve and that we felt the Kiss-ass should be sent back to beginning class as he had no prior experience with the trumpet and made no effort to improve himself.
She scoffed at us, brushed the problem off and didn't change a thing. So me and the 2nd chair knew what we had to do. Every time the Transfer student messed up we would immediately speak up and say that it was us. She never yelled at us like she did to the Transfer student but we didn't get off easy, but it was worth it.
She quit the next year, after I left Transfer student became first chair his Senior year and went on to join honor Band and then made it into college on his very impressive trumpet skills.
BRUNCH IS CUT THROAT![rebelmouse-image 18979904 is_animated_gif=
It was a get-together with a bunch of coworkers on Friday night and we all decide to go to a nightclub. The bouncer denies the group and tells me the reason after I take him to the side. He thinks two of the women do not fit the club's ideal "image." He would let us in if we ditched the two girls.
One of the girls comes up to me and asks why they couldn't get in and half-jokingly accuses me. I say, "...umm yeah it's because of me." And then she proceeds to tell the group it's my fault they couldn't get in. I keep my mouth shut.
NO BEANS FOR YOU![rebelmouse-image 18979905 is_animated_gif=
Very minor, but I found it funny.
I'm a nurse, and I was cleaning up a patient who had been incontinent of stool. Unfortunately, it was quite a significant amount and the smell in the room was very strong. The patient was super sweet, and I felt bad for how embarrassed they were.
As soon as I was done, the doctor and his group of residents came in. The younger ones couldn't hide the look on their faces as the smell hit them, and my poor patient looked absolutely mortified.
I piped up "I'm sorry guys, that was me, I've been farting all day. My god, the farting!." Everyone had a good laugh, the patient included.
SMOKE AND MIRRORS...[rebelmouse-image 18979906 is_animated_gif=
At my school somebody graffitied the boys bathrooms pretty badly and my teacher narrowed it down to a few people.
I asked her what the punishment was and i then made it obvious i was taking one for the team out of impatience. She decided i didn't do it and told me i was free to go, so i left.
And I was the one who graffitied the bathroom.
ANYTHING FOR FIDO...[rebelmouse-image 18979907 is_animated_gif=
My neighbor jumped in front of a bus because his dog got loose and ran onto the road where the bus was going to hit him. The dude is now paralyzed.
I GOT THIS ONE 'BUD'...[rebelmouse-image 18979908 is_animated_gif=
I took the blame for having weed at school. My friend who actually brought it was already in the care of child services and on the last line to go to juvi, the friend who was going to take the blame was in the same boat, then there was me, never so much as a detention. The school knew I was lying but couldn't prove it, had no choice but to expel me. The police didn't press charges because again, they knew it wasn't really me, I was the fall guy but nothing more. They felt bad for me I think, they could see I was a good person in with a crowd I had no business being with.
Looking back, I'm glad I did take the blame, not for my friends, they didn't deserve the fall I took for them, they just used me many many times over but because it got me away from those toxic friends and environment and I actually got to finish high school somewhere else with a much better outlook on life and actual true friends
WALK WITH ME...[rebelmouse-image 18979909 is_animated_gif=
In 7th grade we had a sub for last period. Someone did something right before the bell and the sub said he was going to keep the class there until whoever did it spoke up. I knew who did it, also knew he would not speak up. So I said I did it after sitting there 10 minutes after the bell rang. I needed to catch the bus and so did other people. She told the whole class to go except me. She said she was dissappointed because she knows I didn't do it and ask why I took blame. So I told her we all need to catch the bus. A lot of the kids caught the bus, about 10 kids waited for me to get out and we all missed the bus. We had to walk home, 5 mile walk for me.
I'LL KEEP SWINGIN'!![rebelmouse-image 18354745 is_animated_gif=
I once took blame for a giant hole my older brother punched in a wall in our house on accident because I was already the black sheep and that kind of stuff was expected from me and my older brother was the perfect child.
TIME FOR SOME LONG OVERDUE PENANCE...[rebelmouse-image 18979911 is_animated_gif=
When I was in 3rd grade the teacher had walked out of the room to make some copies of worksheets. Of course, everyone took this as an opportunity to start talking and soon the class started to get louder and louder. For some reason I started making this "cackoo cackoo" noise like a bird. When the teacher got back to the room she was pissed because she could hear us down the hall in the copy room. She began reprimanding the people she could pick out from the crowd with no outside activities for the rest of the week. She asked who was making that loud squawking sound. I guess nobody knew it was me, and I sure as hell was not going to throw myself under the bus. She finally says "everyone will lose outside privileges if someone doesn't come forward." Everyone started blaming this other kid who denied it was him, but for some reason he admitted to it when the teacher warned again that everyone would lose outside time. Poor dude had to spend the rest of the week with no recess but was a class hero. I never told anyone it was me.
Remember way back when the internet wasn't a flaming dumpster fire?
Yeah, us either.
The internet has always been a mess, but it's also always been beautiful.
It connects people, ideas, senses or humor, creativity! Yes, we've got our fair share of deviants, murderers, and trashbag people, but we've also got decades of wonder to celebrate.
Newbies like to think using the internet for awesomeness is something they came up with, but the old heads are here to tell you the internet has ALWAYS been a complicated crash course in the coolest stuff ever.
So let's hop in the wayback machine and get our nostalgia on.
Reddit user ransom0374 asked:
"What do you miss from early internet times?"
So let's take that walk down memory lane, or if you're new-ish here on planet Earth, this is going to be a fun little "history" lesson.
If you're uncertain where you fall, here's a test:
"Badger, Badger, Badger, Badger..."
If you finished the song, you're probably going to remember quite a few of these...
"AIM away messages saying stupid stuff like 'BRB going to get some bagel bites.' "
"Don't forget to update your personal profile with Blink 182 lyrics and the initials of your school sweetheart and some ASCII. Browse for a new inappropriate buddy icon and strike up a convo with SmarterChild"Giphy
"I miss the wild unknown frontier that the internet was."
"It seemed there was so much discovery to be had on the internet, and if you were good at the internet everyone thought of you as 'Hackerman' and you were like a God amongst your peers."
"It seems like there isn't anything 'new' on the internet anymore. No discoveries to be made."Giphy
The Irony Is Not Lost On Us
"Variety. There's a popular tweet that says something like 'the internet has turned into four websites where on each one people share screenshots of the other three.' "
"I miss when you could search a term and there would be dozens of sites dedicated to it or forums especially for it. Now it's just ads, Wikipedia, and Reddit."
"Oh, and not having ads shoved down your throat every time you search a term or navigate to a page!"
"I know there were pop ups and banners, which weren't any better. But there was a sweet spot."
"There was a few years there where you could Google something and half the first page WASN'T sponsored ads that had nothing to do with what you looked up. And you could go to a website and it DIDN'T block the page with a full screen ad asking for your email to join their mailing list or save 10% on their merchandise."Giphy
Figuring It Out
"That all the webpages were just random people trying to figure out HTML."
"There really wasn't a corporate presence at all. It was just a place for people to experiment."
"You could click on a button and make a cardboard hand wave at someone's cats. You could dispense a coke from a machine in some dorm. It was dumb and fun."Giphy
"The learning was endless."
"There were almost an infinite source of information from all over the world. If you wanted to find something all you had to do was search for it in Ask Jeeves or whatever and you'd find any website that had ever mentioned that thing."
"There were more than 10 different websites. And at least it didn't feel like I was being forced to sign up for a subscription after every click."
"There were so many fun, cute stores to shop. Now it feels like everyone dresses and decorates the same."
"I miss a lot of things about the early internet. I'm probably wrong, but it just felt safer than it does now?"Giphy
"I was in my late teens when the internet was becoming accessible to everyone. Our one household computer was in the kitchen & facing in a way so anyone coming in could see your screen."
"I remember looking at someone's website and my Dad passing by to get something to eat, asking me if the person on the website was my friend."
"I miss those old days! The internet seemed endless & friendly."Giphy
A Base Level For Participation
"Most people were smart."
"In the early days (by far) most people on the internet were in college, either as a teacher or student. Beyond that, people had to to be in a lab or make their computer talk to a connected computer which was not so easy in the old days."
"It acted as a sort of intelligence barrier one needed clear to participate in internet things."
"Higher barrier to entry."
"I remember the fond days of SLIP and Trumpet Winsock when you had to know at least a little about tech to get on and participate."
"There was still stupidity, but it just wasn't as loud as it is now."
"In the very very early days, pre-AOL, you needed skill and knowledge to get online."
"Then AOL came onto the scene an d anyone could get online at the push of a button."Giphy
Go Away Now
"I miss when what happened on the internet, stayed on the internet."
"You could turn off the beige box and go about the rest of your day without it affecting you."
"The fact that is only existed on a big computer in the house, as long as no-one was on the phone. It wasn't some all-encompassing thing."
"The internet not following me around. When you logged off, you effectively put the internet away."Giphy
It Used To Be...
"How people used to treat it."
"The internet was not just a novelty, but an amazing piece of technology that let anyone share anything. It was so wholesome and loving, with everyone still being amazed at what we could do now."
"Now? There's so many websites that are designed to make you angry and radicalize your beliefs. It's quantity over quality."
"There was a time when nobody on Reddit shared politics, when Facebook was for socializing, when YouTube was where people uploaded stuff they were passionate about."Giphy
We Used To Love Yahoo
"I can't remember what it was called, but Yahoo had this great music video program where it showed popular artists, and some very unknown folks."
"I discovered some of my favorite artists having it play in the background all the time."
"Launchcast/Yahoo Radio. It was revolutionary for music streaming and the 1-5 star system worked really well. I preferred it over Pandora's up/down system."Giphy
On a personal level, I want to go on record and say MusicMatch was the greatest music program in the history of life.
It just was.
I will die on this hill.
It was dopeness in all forms. MusicMatch Jukebox? Dope. Yahoo MusicMatch? Dope.
So what relics from Ye Olde Internet are you passionate about? Sound off in the comments!
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
No one wants war.
Who is going to light the powder keg and set it all off?
Which country will start WW3? Why?
Does anyone really want to start another world war?
They may not have a choice in the matter.
Getting It Out Of The Way Early
"Austrian here, we will do it again probably, I would like to say sorry in advance! Most plausible reason at the moment is because Germans eat schnitzel with sauce on top, then this conflict will spiral out again into WW3."
"Third time's the charm!"
-Some Austrian, probably
Civil War 2: Electric Boogaloo
"It'll be a civil war that devolves into a world war, with no one country clearly responsible for this change."
"But we'll blame it all on germany again, right"
Why I Oughtta...
"At this point, there are enough nukes in the world to ensure that a World War would simply result in nuclear annihilation on all sides. Say what you want about authoritarians like Xi Jinping, Kim Jung Un, and Ali Khameni, they are many things; but they're not suicidal. They know that an all out war would just end everyone, including them, so they're not going to. This is why the US and the USSR never went to all out war, despite coming close a few times; the risks were just too great for both sides."
"What could easily happen, however, is another cold war, this time between the US and China. And like in the Cold War, there could be proxy wars fought as a result of it, but it's unlikely that any country will take the insane risks of starting World War 3."
A full-blown world war is a tricky thing to get off the ground, that is if anyone wants it. The leading cause to impending war could come out of nowhere, or somewhere completely unexpected, or perhaps it will never come.
2-Day War Delivery
"Bruh its gunna be Amazon, not a country"
"Jeff Bezos finna be dropping Amazon basics nukes on us"
Can It Even Happen?
"I don't think the world can handle another world war. simply for the sake that we're all so interconnected. every major nation trades with each other and are in bed with each other. I would be a detriment to whatever country starts a war."
"Think about how the global supply chain has been impacted by the pandemic, the world would probably cease to function all together in a major conflict."
"There was a quote I liked, I think it was from Dan Carlin. He said that leading up to WWI Europe had become too economically entwined to go to war with itself, but none of the economists were invited to the war councils. The generals making the decisions didn't understand the situation so they made dumb decisions. The situation is undoubtably more-so interconnected today, the question is, do we have economists making the call on starting wars?"
A Little Humor Before We Get To The Serious Stuff...
"Probably America, I mean they made Wonder Woman 1 & 2, so highly likely they'd make WW3. At least start it. Not sure why someone else would finish it."
"No, they don't know how to count.. They jumped from WW1 to WW84."
Is it in the realm of possibility? Possibly.
After all, people will be people.
Anyone Else Surprised? No?
"America have a surplus of military might, a recent history of starting wars for profit, EVERYTHING is politicised and extreme nationalism and xenophobia are normalised within the populace. I'm going with them."
These All Feel Tangible
"My guesses would be 1) USA vs China over Taiwan or 2) China vs India (a lot on tension there that doesn't get a lot of news attention)"
"India-Pakistan and China-India are hot beds."
"India and Pakistan have been at war numerous times since their inception. 5 'official' wars and 9 minor skirmishes, to be exact. The last conflict ended with a ceasefire in 2003, but the last incident was a series of skirmishes along the Line of Control in Kashmir, from November 2020 to February 2021."
"Neither is capable of a full-fledged invasion of the other, so it's limited to border disputes. And while Pakistan does have nukes, it would be suicide to use them. There's no incentive for any other countries to get involved."
Going For It
"China making a move on Taiwan or some other land grab in India or other bordering countries."
An Infectious Idea
"India and Pakistan. It will spread to China, then North Korea (or North Korea first) and pull in many others in Asia. This will pull in NATO, either directly or via global partners (Australia)."
This One Makes WAY Too Much Sense
"Twitter. Someone will probably make a typo that everyone takes the wrong way..."
Well, what do you think could happen? Let us know in the comments.
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So let's talk about how a dog owner on Facebook learned her dog's "adorable" behavior was, in fact, furious masturbation.
Readers, if you know anything about me you know I love a good plot twist and I love chonky puppers.
Yesterday, life combined my two great loves in a hilarious and inappropriate way.
I was mindlessly scrolling through my dog groups on Facebook when a video with a few hundred laugh reacts but almost no comments caught my eye.
The still from the video was a pudgy little Frenchie, so obviously I had to read and watch.
The dogs owner shared the video along with a post asking professionals to shed some light on why he does what he does.
Owner-obliviousness as they gushed about how adorable it was made the awkward even better.
The owner explained the Frenchie often makes aggressive eye contact and licks his lips while he "plays air guitar"—which is what the family calls it—and how cute & funny they all find the behavior.
The video was the dog, casually chilling, using his paw to rub the tip of his penis while staring awkwardly at the camera and licking his lips like a pup possessed.
Three hundred and fifteen laugh-reacts—at the time that I saw it—and only three comments:
1. a vet explaining that the behavior showed in the video was the dog masturbating while making direct eye contact
2. the owner giving a simple "thank you" and
3. the admins of the group closing the comments.
So, why am I sharing this with you?
Because Reddit user Drakmamman asked:
"Dog owners of reddit, what the dog doin?"
... and so now you get this whole article just so I had an excuse to tell y'all about a furiously fapping Frenchie, 'cause somebody else needed to know about him.
I cackled for a good 20 minutes imagining the family getting all giddy about their dog "playing air guitar"—making the little air guitar meedly squeedly noises while he played, maybe even playing along thinking they're enjoying a fun little game—but they're really just been giving a hair metal soundtrack to their dogs stroke sesh.
Something tells me now the owner knows what "air guitar" really is, they're not likely to rush and tell Reddit all about how they've been gathering as a family to watch cause it's just so cute.
That's what I'm here for.
Anyway, here's the stuff other people's dogs are up to. It's not fapping—or if it is, the owners aren't telling Reddit.
"Wife just came home with the baby. Dog is acting like she's been abandoned for years running up and down, barking and jumping on everything."
"They'd only been out an hour and I was with her the whole time." - Single_Goose7015
"My dog does this too when my wife comes home. Like what am I, chopped liver?" - jackof47trades
"I feel your pain. My dog started howling mournfully when my partner went back to work last week… I was right there!" - TreatOutside
"Staring at the door waiting for the only human he cares about to come home (obviously not me)" - SnarkyRedhead
"Probably trying to herd the cats."
"He's a border collie mix who's afraid of goats and sheep, but even after six years of living with them he still thinks he can control where the cats go."
"He's a good boy, he's very persistent, but not terribly bright sometimes." - TokesNotHigh
"After 8 years our border collie still herds the cats, and the vacuum." - psychologicaluse28
"Big heart, small brain. I have one of those dogs too. They are the sweetest." - Technobucket
"She has flung herself flat across the bed and is playing dead, quiet except for the occasional pitiful whine. Every now and then she lifts her head up and fixes a desperate look upon me, silently begging for release from her wretched existence."
"She's a bit overdramatic about having to wear a cone. The issue is an abrasion on a toe that she won't stop licking, which is making it worse."
"I've been alternating between bandaging it and having her wear a cone. She's been consistently a drama queen." - halfinboxes
"Staring at me because their dinner time is in one hour and they need to start letting me know that, in an hour, they need to eat...in an hour, so I better not forget...cuz they're hungry, which is why they're staring at me...and it's almost dinner time."
"Just one more hour, And they want to make sure I don't forget. Because maybe I will."
"So, they need to remind me. By staring at me. Every day. One hour before dinner." - MotherOfFred
A Little "Light" ExerciseGiphy
"Mine loves light reflected off watches or phones. And loves lasers."
"It's sunny and he sees light on the wall so he is bothering me to use my watch or phone so he can chase the light. I've spent the last hour doing it."
"I even got him a cat laser toy that's automatic for him and he runs himself tired as all hell with it. But he is STILL asking for it."
"Used the laser toy also too, so he is panting dripping tongue and still wants to play more..." - boomgoon
"Last night my dogs chased down and killed a rabbit in the backyard. They are usually so gentle; this was weird and unexpected."
"I watched the whole thing helpless because it was so fast. The rabbit screamed, it was insane."
"Now, I'm watching them sleep on my couch and can't help but think they just murdered someone."
"They are just vicious predators, right here, in my house. On my couch."
"But they snuggly as f*ck. This trips me out." - Atheist_Redditor
A Problematic PrincessGiphy
"We have two chihuahuas. One is a 15 year old (quite appropriately) named Princess and one is a one year old named Charlie."
"Both have their own dog beds on the couch since they are spoiled."
"When Princess is feeling particularly moody or like asserting her dominance, she will drag Charlie's bed into her bed and lay on top of BOTH of them and snarl at him if he comes close to her personal space bubble/bed mountain."
"And when we tell her she can't have both beds and put his bed back to the side, she just glares at us. Lol." - mslm90
"She's currently in her cage resting after her great adventure."
"She managed to get upstairs and grab a hold of one of my shoes. Not just any old shoe, but one of the shoes I am planning to wear this weekend for my wedding."
"After running around, she dropped the shoe to chew on a shirt - at which point she was cornered, and then brought downstairs."
"Pup and shoe are both unharmed and doing well. My nerves, not so much." - still_interesting23
So ... what's YOUR dog been up to lately?
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Have you ever fantasized about what it would be like to win the lottery? Having money for the rest of your life, as far as the eye can see, to cover your expenses.
And have you thought about all the things you would buy if you could really afford them? Are they ALL practical things, or are some of them silly?
We always love to fantasize about what life would be like if money were no object. And you are not alone!
Redditor OnlyVillager asked:
"If you won the lottery, what's something 'useless' that you would buy?"
Here were some of those answers.
I Be The Witch Of The Wood
"My teenage daughter disclosed to me the other day that her biggest life goal is to buy a house on an acreage that has a large wooded area."
"She plans to build me a house in the woods, fund whatever ridiculous bullsh*t art installations I want to erect in the woods, then spread rumors in neighboring towns that a witch lives back there."
"She's the best."-OpossumJesusHasRisen
My Kingdom For A Castle
"I'm blowing it all on a castle. No, not one of those fairy tale mansions from the 19th century robber barons called 'castles'.
"A fully loaded, honest-to-god, obsolete, medieval fortress. Two curtain walls, a keep, towers, barbican, portcullis, murderholes, loopholes, machicolations, the works. It'll be a well warmed summer retreat/place to hide out if another plague hits the world."
"I'm buying Au Train island in the Upper Peninsula to be specific. When the feds finally come after billionaires to pay their fair share, I'm running to my island and sealing the gates behind me."
"So I can get my affairs in order and pay my taxes. What were you thinking I was gonna do? Hide from the IRS? They can breach any castle lmao."-DaemonTheRoguePrince
I Wanna Be A Billionaire
- "I want a cold water dispenser on my desk. It has to be connected to the water line, filtered and cooled. Ideally it also has that thing that automatically knows when the container is almost full."
- "My new lifestyle would be to live 4 weeks in a different city, then 1 week at home. In each city, I would stay in a Luxury Airbnb or a five star hotel."
- "I would hire a professional soccer coach. I'm talking someone that trains pro players. I'm Arab and I'm tired of not being good at soccer, just a few months of lessons and I'll be able to participate in pick up games and have fun."
- "I would also hire singing, guitar and piano instructors. Singing would be the toughest because my voice sucks, but I figure with time I can be good enough to sing a song if I want to reference it. That's how bad I am today."-Reformedjerk
Imagine just not having to think when you click the "purchase" button.
A Nice Siesta
"Maybe not exactly "useless" in the way people are thinking (the way the question is asked makes me think by "useless" they mean "stupid/wasteful" but I'm thinking in terms of things that are fun and only for the purpose of having fun), but do vacations count?"
"If I had that much money all to myself, I would 100% rather have a regular sized house/car and spend the money on experiences instead."
"The idea of having a normal life but knowing that I can just decide to take the day off and go to DisneyLand or treat myself to a fancy dinner whenever the hell I want to is a fantasy I've had since I was literally a little kid."
"I get that those aren't useful things because they're not things I could USE like a car/house/purse/etc, but I'd definitely be happy:)"-StreetIndependence62
"Well this stuff is only useless if there isn't some sort of apocalyptic event that happens in my lifetime."
"That said, I'd go full prepper and bury myself a bunker in the desert with tons of food and water stored away and decked out with solar panels, a garage full of electric cars, and a stash of every sort of modern electronic equipment available in vast quantities."
"So this would be a huge waste of money if there's never an apocalypse. But it would be very valuable to me if there happens to be one."-TimHawks1983
"I have always wanted a talking toilet. I don't even know why at this point. I just saw it on a tv show, don't even remember what, and since that day I have thought 'yes, I want this.'"
"But right now, with my paupers wage, I cannot afford such a thing. I have a lot of serious plans for lottery level money. I would open a shelter for homeless people and start my own dog shelter. As well as my own theme park."
"But I would still get a talking toilet."-MagnificentColossus
Put Your Bird On My Shoulder
"I would get into falconry, vintage guitars from the 50s and 60s, a live in Cook, most of the surfaces that I touch would be marble, and I would save a significant portion of my money to split between investments and gambling on riskier stocks."
"Depending on how much money a private jet would be in the cards as well as a flight license. This is one of my favorite things to daydream about"-freemason777
The best part of all of this is, it doesn't matter that these things are useless.
They bring us joy, and that is what matters.
"Boring" "Flame Thrower"???
"Definitely a boring company flame thrower. And a Barrett M82."
"Probably a supercar too, but not to drive it. I want to light it on fire in a public space as an appeal to consumerism right before I go take a private jet to Nappa Valley to eat at the French Laundry and get hammered on the most expensive bottles of wine I can find."-xdylanxfrommyspace
"There are many things I bought that I regretted it immediately. I love to try new stuff. Especially no-brand or brand that is not famous. My curiosity is very high, that is the problem."
"I wanted to know whether those products are okay for human being. For example, I bought BioAqua face products. The most product I regret is BioAqua aloe vera. After my third use of the product, I actually experience worst allergic in the world."
"My skin had a lot of red patches appeared in just few hours. It was itchy but not painful. Just I keep scratching my skin but I tried my best to control it."
"It took about three - five days to keep it clear with medication and creams. Then after a couple of weeks, I decided to use it again. I got the reaction."
"Thankfully, I still have the medication and the cream. So, I took it immediately. I also did not apply the cream that much compared to previous time."
"I still have the aloe vera bottle in my room. I wanted to throw it but I could not throw it. Yet, I cannot use it and yes, I feel sad when I saw it. So, you can understand how I feel."-nimbledealing53
Hobby Hobby Hobby!
"If I won the lottery - I would open a shop for my favorite hobby. I would manage it like a business, giving a decent wage to several workers allowing them to pursue a degree or whatever and have a job that doesn't suck."
"I'd lose money on running a store. But I'd enjoy it. I'd enjoy sharing my hobby, selling the stuff I love at reasonable prices and giving a few young people a good job in a stress free environment."
"Useless store, great life experience for the people I'd employ."-Dealthagar
Money doesn't solve all of the world's problems or all of a person's problems, even—but it certainly does make life a little easier here and there for those who need it.
Hopefully the 21st century sees all of us buying things with our millions of dollars.
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