Image by PIRO4D from Pixabay

Love takes work, time and a whole lot of patience. They never tell you about that part. That should really be added to the fairytales.

Every love story should have a strong epilogue written in, and in each epilogue is where we should be learning about the pitfalls, mistakes and all out war concerning relations that proceed... "I Do."

Single people need warnings about certain behaviors to watch out for, from our partners and ourselves. Marriage isn't easy, but it can last forever with enough effort.

Redditor u/New_Presentation5105 asked for some relationship advice from all the lovebirds out there, by asking:

Married people of reddit , what something you wish unmarried people knew?

Love and marriage, what a combo. I ask all the time... what are the secrets? How do make love endure? I need to be ready. Should I ever live long enough to love.


Reese Witherspoon Mom GIF by HULU Giphy

"Only the couple sets the rules of what their marriage is, not your mother, not your friends, not tv... just you. That actually applies to all relationships."

- adamwritesit

Alone Again

"Getting married doesn't mean that you're never going to feel lonely again."

- freechurro824

"Feeling lonely doesn't necessarily mean because of issues with your partner. They can't be your only source of companionship. A lot of people have this misconception though, so glad you shared it."

- randalhicks

"Yeah that's what I was trying to say. People still need friendships and other relationships outside of just with their spouse. They can't take care of every emotional need you have. I've known many people who ignore those outside relationships when they get married and later regret it."

- freechurro824

Life Changes

"My marriage was stretched the absolute thinnest when we welcomed both our kids - take a complete life change, add in lack of sleep, hormones, an upended schedule and a million other things and it will strain even the strongest relationship. Because we were good going into it, we were even better coming out."

"If you have any kind of cracks in your relationship, bringing a newborn into it will quickly make them chasms. I have to laugh when people say they'll have a baby to "save the relationship" because I can't think of a faster way to end a floundering relationship than to bring a baby into it!"

- HouseRenovations

My Poor Sister

"My sister's marriage. Her MIL had a ridiculous amount of control over things and her husband didn't want to be in the middle so he would plug his ears and walk away. When my sister finally told her MIL that what she was doing was disrupting and causing problems in her (my sister) family, the MIL sat there dumbfounded and asked "why would any of this upset your brothers and sisters?"

"She just could not grasp the fact that my sisters family was her husband and kids and rolled her eyes when she was told that. Since her husband never stood up, and in some cases would actively back his mom because he didn't want to upset her, it eventually drove them apart. Now they never talk unless they have to and the kids are all but estranged from their dad and grandparents."

- DisownedByMother


Nbc Marriage GIF by This Is Us Giphy

"Getting married WILL NOT help solve any issues in your relationship."

- HazyDaisy89

So far that is sound advice. And it all sounds pretty basic. So why do so many marrieds make it such an arduous task? This is starting to sound like lessons in keeping it simple.

Like Count

Schitts Creek Yes GIF by CBC Giphy

"Liking your partner is just as important if not more than loving them."

- No-Wrangler-9001

Take Care

"Being married 20 years, I'm guilty of it sometimes too, but being in a long term relationship like that just makes you an expert on your own relationship. Not on relationships in general. We can sometimes forget that, just because it works well in our own life, doesn't mean it will work for others."

"When you're a young couple, dozens of older couples are going to tell you what works for them. The best thing to do is understand that it's coming from a place of caring, and some will be good advice, but you've got to just find what works for you."

- DifficultMinute

"check with my husband"

"Talk to your partner before you make decisions. I can't even tell you how much crap I get from my single friends when I tell them I'll "check with my husband" before agreeing to do something. Usually it's just to make sure we don't have something else going on that I forgot about, or maybe he wanted to do something and I haven't brought it up."

"It's not asking permission, it's being conscientious of your partner. It's especially true if you have kids. No, I don't ask my husband to "babysit", but it would be pretty sh*tty for me to just say "oh hey, I'm going out tonight. Have fun with a couple toddlers by yourself and with no notice!" And he treats me with the same respect."

- IAmZot

Sleep on it...

"When we first married, an older person told us to never go to bed angry. We dutifully followed that advice for a few years. But a couple of years into our marriage, we were up still arguing about something at 2 AM. Finally we just went to bed angry after agreeing to discuss the problem in the morning. By the next morning we both realized we'd both just been tired. Well-rested the next day the problem just didn't seem as big a deal. For us at least… sometimes we just need to sleep on it."

- rebel1031

Things to do...

mountain GIF Giphy

"Have things you enjoy doing with your spouse that don't involve sex. The most stable marriages are ones where you and your spouse could be friends if you weren't married. Goes for dating too, IMO."

- Beezertheturnip

Maybe it's easier just to stay single. I'm so gloomy. But I will hold onto this thread just in case. Oh marriage, why can't it just be perfect?

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