People Share The Biggest Revelations They Had About Their Parents As They Got Older
When we're little, they're our superheroes. When we're teenagers, they're our super villains.
It's hard for us to think of our parents as humans.
When we're little, they're our superheroes. When we're teenagers, they're our super villains. But as we near the age our parents had us, we realize they likely had zero idea what they were doing; they were struggling to do their best with us.
Can we all find it in our hearts to reflect a little on our own parents?
What was the most shocking revelation you had about your parents as you entered adulthood?
Here were some of the answers.
Unhealthy Practice For Society's SakeGiphy
That my parents HATED each other, but stayed married for over 18 years because of us kids. They faked being nice to each other to the almost very end of their marriage, even then they didn't fight in front of us kids. My Dad dealt with it mostly with alcohol. My Mom was on all sorts of high end 1970's prescription drugs.
After over 30 years of being divorced, and both having remarried, they STILL, to this day, make snide comments about each other and truly hate being in the same room.
The Unfortunate Truth
My mom drinks a bit, and as her children have moved out and on, the quantity she'll drink each night with/after dinner has increased quite a bit. Anyway, recently she told me that she can't drive at night anymore due to cataracts. I kind of went "alright that makes sense" because her 90 year old father has cataracts as well.
Yesterday I read a nonfiction piece called "Why Aren't You Laughing?" About the author's mother and her relationship with alcohol. In it, his mother uses the exact same excuse, and he states that he and his sisters knew that the real reason was she was too drunk by sundown to drive.
That was a really big "Oh" moment for me. I had to put the book down for a few minutes after I read that section.
This Job Ain't Easy
My mom was a nurse in the neo-natal unit (premature babies). There'd be days she'd come home and it was obvious she'd been crying. At the time I'd give her a hug and tell it to feel better then go play outside or back to my video games not thinking much of it - I was ten.
It wasn't until my senior year in high-school that it dawned on me, that often the reason she had been crying was because a baby had died on her shift. I can't even imagine having to deal with that on a semi regular basis. She later told me she was often responsible for supporting the parents and one of her talents was making clay moulds of the deceased babies hands as a keepsake for the parents. Thinking about doing that and having to make the moulds, made me realize that my mom was the most incredibly strong and compassionate person I'd ever known.
Hard Work To Survive
How poor we were and how well they handled it. We weren't extremely poor to the point where we were homeless, but as I got older and started to penny pinch I realized how much my parents had to. We regularly had grilled cheese or eggs for dinner which I now realize is because they're relatively inexpensive. Our vegetables were always grown in our tiny garden. Our grandmother was our only babysitter. My father worked triple overtime and my mother worked double. My mother would "splurge" on a box of wine that would last a month. My father would always wear the same clothes for years.
We always had great holidays and they never skimped out on spending money on us if we needed it. It really does make me appreciate them.
Dad Partied. It's True.Giphy
That my dad drank in high school and college. Growing up my parents always warned against drinking and talked about avoiding peer pressure to drink. I've never seen them touch a sip of alcohol. My parents always mocked people who drank and got drunk (at home not to anyone's face).
This all resulted in me waiting till I was in college to drink and waiting till I was 21 to let them know that I did when the subject came up,
At my grandpa's funeral one of my dad's high school friends came up and started talking to him. Me and my sisters were listening to them reminisce. Then his friend said "I still remember that night we went out driving with a bottle of Johnny Walker and --" my dad cut him off like super quick.
Me and my sisters were super surprised. None of knew he had ever drank. He kind of sheepishly explained how he used to be and how he didn't think it was right. We thought it was funny that we all assumed he'd never drank, but he probably had gotten wilder than we ever had.
Two things that were related. My mother always said no and made us feel insignificant because she was afraid that we (her daughters) would leave her for a better life. She always found fault in our friends and anything that would expose us to things she didn't understand. My Dad always said Yes because he knew it all along. In the midst of a deep depression, I stopped telling her my plans and my Dad helped me move across the country to find my happiness.
We Hold These Truths To Be Self Evident, That All Dads Are Created Equal
They had no idea what they were doing. Dad ran his own business for 20+ years and I've tried to follow in his foot steps starting my own. I started asking a lot of questions about business and how stuff is done and one day he sat me down, looked me in the eye and said "I really don't know how I made it work because 90% of the time I had no clue what I was doing, but when you run a company everyone assumes you're an expert. Convince them you know what you're doing even if you don't. Running a business isn't stressful because of the calls and the work, it's stressful because most of the time you're lost and making things up as you go."
I eventually told my mom about that conversation and she pretty much said the same thing.
All this time I thought I was just sh*tty at being an adult, turns out, everyone is just winging it and hoping for the best. But Dad was never going to tell his kids that, my brother and I thought he was some sort of super hero and as I got older I was real proud that my Dad owned a company. Other peoples Dads worked at companies, but my Dad owned one. Turns out all Dads are equal.
When History Can Clarify It All
They knew what they were doing.
I used to think they were talentless hacks because dad produced records for middle schoolers with rich parents and mom edited destined to be self-published romance novels from bored housewives.
It wasn't until I took an elective on the California gold rush that I learned the real cash was made in exploiting the dreamers.
I Bet He'd Wake Up If You Tried Changing The Channel
When I was a kid I used to always get upset at my dad because whenever I tried watching a movie with him, he would always fall asleep. It wasn't until I was older that I realized the reason he fell asleep was because he was so tired from working two jobs to try and give me a better life. Despite this he still attempted his best to do something with me and spend time with me, even if he ended up asleep.
How To Deal With Life And Kids At The Same TimeGiphy
How much having kids affects your career prospects/choices.
Having had me, that limited the type of work they could do, the likelihood they could take a promotion or a transfer for a better job, etc.
It was one thing I suddenly realised when I was talking to them about work and they both said that they'd been in various work choice/promotion situations where the main decision-making factor was "Can this work and not disrupt the family?"
All that stuff is pretty easy when it's just you or the two of you. But when you have kids, its not about you anymore. It made me really think about what they'd given up for me and what I might have to give up to be a parent too.
LPT: you can't have it all. You can't have the ideal FT career and be a good FT parent. The sooner you realise that to have one you have to compromise on the other, the better.
When it comes to romantic relationships, especially when marriage is talked about, it's good for the two people in the relationship to share similar values, principles, and beliefs.
Maybe you discuss whether or not you want children, and if so, when. Maybe you'll talk about how to split household duties or whether or not to combine finances. And of course, you'll talk about religion.
Religion can play a large role in life for people of faith. The rules or recommendations of their faith help them to decide what's right and wrong, what to do in any given situation, and maybe even how to raise kids.
However, if one partner is religious and the other is atheist, it can be difficult to find a middle ground. It's not impossible, but it may not always be easy.
Atheists on Reddit know this first hand, and have shared what their relationship is like with a person of faith.
The stories were as diverse as religion itself.
It all starte when Redditor Actual_Sprinkles1287 asked:
"Atheists who married a person of faith, how is that going?"
Some people found it didn't matter, and their relationship was successful.
Good With Them, Bad With The In Laws
"With her? Great, it never really comes up, she does her thing (She's Christian), we agreed the kids get to make their own choices, and that we can both explain our faith, or lack thereof, when appropriate."
"Her parents, on the other hand... Just glad they live on the other side of the country. Was worse before we got married"
"Got an identical situation here but her parents are ten minutes down the road. I used to be a Christian. They don’t know I’m not, so that reduces friction."
"Had our 25th wedding anniversary last year."
"She's a member of a very liberal (even for Canada) congregation and I share most of their beliefs about things like how to treat other people, just not the supernatural stuff. She does her thing, I get to sleep in on Sunday mornings."
"Last sentence is relationship goals."
Heritage Over Religion
"Well, I am the non-atheist in the relationship, but it doesn't come up at all."
"I don't believe in an interventionist deity, so there really isn't a reason to discuss it."
"Since we are Jewish, my husband is fine with the kids going to Hebrew school because he wants them to know about our history, language, and traditions. That's why I want them to go as well."
"Mainstream Judaism is not very deity-focused and Hebrew schools mainly teach language, history, and about rituals and their meaning. Faith doesn't really come up, and everyone having their own way of doing things and believing is an integral part of Judaism. So, I am not worried about them becoming indoctrinated in that way."
"We both think that it's up to the kids to make their own decisions about theism and religion, and we should give them the materials to make an informed decision."
"Great! Sometimes I go to church with her, I like the content (be a good person, live simply, etc.) She believes all the science, she just also believes in some other stuff."
"My opinion is this: as a human you're going to have questions about life, the universe, and anything else. If a belief system answers those questions for you, great."
Perfect As You Are
"When we first met, I saw she was a "problem solver" by nature. She's religious, I'm not. I asked her early if she saw me as a problem in need of a solution. When she said, "no," I decided I'd keep seeing her."
"She still holds her beliefs, though perhaps not as strongly as before we met. We each know where the other stands, and we're both respectful of the other's views. She doesn't try to "convert me" and I don't try to change her mind."
"We're 13 years in, and doing just fine, I think."
Others found it impossible to remain married because of religious differences.
Keeping It A Secret
"My ex husband never acted religious. Not necessarily atheist, but didn't go to church, and never prayed that I was aware of."
"We hit a really rough patch and I wanted a divorce. I found a notebook (I wasn't snooping, I was cleaning and it was in a stack of random papers and whatnot) where he'd made some list of demands to save our marriage (laughable since I was the one who wanted out due to how he was treating me). I started to read it and one said "accept Jesus into her heart." I rolled my eyes just as he walked into the living room and freaked out that I had it and yanked it out of my hand. We never talked about it amd we did eventually divorce."
"Hmm. It seems like for him to not have expressed religious beliefs or convictions but desires for you to “accept Jesus into your heart”—according to this list of his—seems to suggest that there were some things about him that he kept secret from you throughout your marriage. Your hands are wiped clean of him now though!"
"Divorced. Don’t know what I was thinking."
Big White Lie
"Divorced for that reason"
"If you don't mind me asking, why did it only become an issue after marriage?"
"Because she lied about be religious, before marriage she said she was only acting to please her mom because she lived at home. And we would bring up any children without religion and they could chose when they were older. She lied."
Some people found that their partner's faith changed, or they even switched around who was a person of faith and who wasn't.
Hard To Keep The Faith
"She’s not Christian anymore. I never belittled or attacked her faith throughout the years. Between cancer taking her sister and simply aging, her belief slowly eroded away."
"This. I prayed for a few years for my husband to come to faith. After crippling mental health issues and having special needs kid, Now he believes in a god and I lost every ounce of faith I had."
Some people are still together but still find religion a topic of contention.
"Not swimmingly well. But we're hangin' in there."
Exhaustion Comes With The Topic
"I'm a person of faith who married an " I dnt believe in God but I believe in something"
"We love eachother but when this topic comes up it's so f*ckin draining"
"do you mind sharing why it's draining?"
"...well we talk a lot, as you can imagine that means the Convo often drifts to God. When we talk about God usually we end up also bring up past traumas and we both have a lot. I believe God gave me the strength to get through it, she believes she was abandoned."
"She also brings history into it too (where was he during slavery, holocaust)."
"and we never ever come to a conclusion we just move on lol start watching a movie or playing with the kids, maybe drinking and whatever comes with that."
"But sometimes the covos last a little longer than usual, we have never argued about this tho, but somestimes the convos can drain me mentally."
"Short version: it's like two walls talking when God is the subject."
A Bit Of A Strain
"This will probably get buried but anyway."
"My wife is Christian, Anglican in Church of England. They’re fairly liberal in their views and acceptance of what people believe, even within the church. So she doesn’t mind that I don’t believe in a single God, and the church isn’t as ‘firm’ in the UK as it seems to be in the US. So I’m not ridiculed or seen as a bad person by her or the church for my lack of faith."
"She studied to become a priest over the past few years and was ordained. I told her I would support her studying but I didn’t want to discuss God or religion with her in the way she debates with some of her other religious friends. I largely struggle with the idea that she believes something that is at odds with so much of what we know about the universe. The further down the religious path she goes, the more bitter I’ve become towards ‘religion’. (I can only see religions and The Church as a business these days, especially knowing the processes she went through to become a minister.) The values of the Anglican church are mostly good, but you can live that way without god in your life. I don’t see why religion needs to play a part of being a good person."
"In terms of how it’s been for our marriage, it hasn’t really been a factor for most of 25 years together. It’s frustrating that she usually wants to go to church on Sundays, which leaves me to do everything else that falls on Sunday morning (notably kids’ sports commitments). I’d also certainly say we have far less in common and have less to talk about these days than we used to. She bends every possibly interesting conversation back to religion or God, and I just want to enjoy chatting without it becoming a debate. But that’s the main topic of conversation she knows and pretty much all she reads. She reads a lot about religion and theology and ‘church’ has become such a huge part of her personality, and her biggest ‘hobby’ that she is much less interesting and has fewer passions or interests in life that she can share. It doesn’t leave much for us to discuss when I have no interest in religion and have become so bitter towards it."
"So no discussion of separation or divorce - we’re not miserable - but religion has more recently played a massive part in us having far less in common."
But ultimately, it seems people can make it work.
Love And Honor
"I'm still married after 30 years. She has her religious beliefs, and I support her as best I can. She doesn't push anything on me. When she wants to do her thing, I give her space. If I have to be involved, I just stay quiet and be respectful. It's not that hard to do. No need to hate someone because of differing beliefs."
What a great attitude to have!
People Confess Which Things In Life Have Disappointed Them Beyond Words
Though there are many things in life that are worth being thankful for, there are also aspects of life that are really hard to work through.
But when we had our hopes up about a person, event, or way of life, it can be really hard to accept that they were not all they were made out to be.
Redditor tomhigham asked:
"What in your life has disappointed you beyond words?"
"Probably unpopular, but personally true for me: friendship."
"Growing up, my group of friends was pretty toxic. After high school, we naturally went our separate ways, but there was a bit of an emotional scar."
"In college, I found a new group of friends… who actually ended up being even worse and almost ruined my life. It has left me with such severe trust issues that I struggle to form meaningful friendships now."
"I had a friend from high school that I thought would be with me for life. I had never had a closer friend ever in my life, and part way through college, it blew up in my face. She turned on me, and all communication broke down."
"Losing someone I considered close enough to be family was gut-wrenching. I have trust issues now because how can someone you loved like a family member be so cruel in the end? I lost ties to all but one friend over the years."
"People would come into my life and we’d connect deeply and it always ended. Not as bad as my best friend had but still nothing ever sticks. People would end up with differing views on life or just get busy. Now I rely on family and my husband for friendship. These are the people who stick with me through the years."
"I've been posting about this lately: my former best friend and neighbor. He's a single dad of two special needs kids. I did a lot to help him out much of last year."
"Late last fall, he either broke into my house (or had someone else do it for him) and stole quite a bit of money from me. When I confronted him about this, he physically attacked me."
"After everything I did for him, it hurts so bad someone could simply turn on you. The beatdown he gave me didn't make me cry, I took it, but later on, when I realized our friendship was a sham and he was only using me, I completely broke down."
Start Saving Up When You're Five
"House prices. I really should have been buying up real estate in grade school, lol (laughing out loud)."
"2000s Adults: Oh no, the economy!"
"2007: Oh no, the economy again!"
"Not one f**king adult acknowledged the growth that took place. Meanwhile today…"
"2016 - 2023: The housing market will crash any day now…"
Older Isn't Always Better
"I realized in my 20s that 'older' people were just as immature and dishonorable as kids, only permanently so."
"Very scary moment. You grow up looking up to those people, and when the pedestal you put them on falls, you are looking down on them, still powerless to change the world."
"As a kid, I gave the adults in my life a lot of passes for their behavior. I figured I was a kid, and they acted that way for reasons I was just too young to understand."
"Now that I’m in a similar age range as they were when they hurt me, I realize they’re just s**t people who choose to be this way."
The Lack of Agency Was Stifling
"People kept telling me it was the best time of my life and that adulthood was a misery of obligations and responsibilities."
"Well, my experience of being an adult and able to have much more control over my own life, who I associate with, and what I do with my time is a welcome exchange for my responsibility-free life where I had comparatively little agency."
"Oh boy, do I agree with this one zillion percent. I HATED being a kid. You are at the absolute mercy of the people around you."
"I can’t count the number of jobs I’ve quit or the people I’ve kept out of or cut out of my life. I have a boring, mediocre life. It’s still better than being a kid."
"I dreamed of my wedding day and having kids and living happily ever after. I didn't dream about him cheating and leaving me three weeks after our son was born... A**hole."
"I almost always never get the love I give."
"Sometimes it's fine, but when it becomes routine, life just gets depressing."
"Still doesn't stop me from being kind. You never know what the other person is going through."
The Lull After College
"How f**king awful life after college is. In college, you're always learning new things and meeting new people. You have a lot of fun and friends and, sure, you work a s**t job that pays squat and you have to study all the time, but you have this sense of accomplishment all the time and you have goals in front of you."
"Once you graduate, everyone moves to different cities. You get different jobs. It’s way harder to make friends and time seems to go by at light speed."
"Additionally, any third space you want to hang out in costs a ton of money, and no one wants to actually talk and become friends. If I’d known life got this lonely and boring, I’d have tried to savor every moment of college."
"Chr**t, I’m going through the same thing. It feels like the months pass by in seconds. My friends all have relationships and are moving away."
"Trying desperately to be friends with people at work and other places yet nobody wants to be?? I won’t even mention trying to get into a romantic relationship."
"Hopefully joining clubs and taking up hobbies with people my age would enjoy will bring me closer to making friends. Oh, and vacations. Lots and lots of vacations."
"My siblings. Never expected them to turn on me and then try to prevent me from getting my share of the inheritance."
"My aunt did that to my dad. He can't bring himself to talk to her anymore. It was less about the money and more about the fact that she pulled that stunt."
"The American government, hands down."
"Not so much the American government but society as a whole."
"The American government has actually worked out pretty well for me (my family came to the USA as refugees, my parents worked minimum wage jobs, I got a college degree and I'm making well above the median household income), but as I've grown older I've just grown disgusted with how stupid and easily manipulated people are."
"The pandemic was a fine example, like, I may not morally agree with someone doing evil s**t for personal gain but at least that makes sense. Doing stupid s**t to make their lives worse is a level of stupidity that the logical side of me can't handle."
Using Resources for Good
"Call me a (former) optimist, but there was a time when for some reason, I thought the Bezos and Zuckerbergs of the world were going to use their brains and wealth to do good things for the world. Instead, they are contributing to its demise."
"I’m right there with you. This generation of billionaires has thrown away the opportunity to help the world, or possibly, even save part of the world with the wealth we have not seen individuals ever accumulate in history, which could be focused on everything from the climate to poverty to medicine and beyond be remembered as heroes."
"Ironically, it’s only Bill Gates that turned his money to helping to save an entire continent. It just wasn’t ours, so many people don’t know about it."
"Gestures broadly. Honestly, I think life is more about making peace with your failures than it is about racking up accomplishments."
"Most of us are never going to do the amazing things we hoped for as children. It's like the Rolling Stones said: 'You don't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.'"
A Rude Awakening
"When I was a teenager in the 80s, struggling down to the library to do the research for my homework, I dreamed of a day where everyone would be able to access libraries from a terminal in their homes. They would have unlimited, free access to all the information and knowledge they need."
"How much better would the world be if everyone could be informed of facts at the touch of a button? Ignorance and stupidity would be left behind on a superhighway of information."
"I've done everything I could to try and make right with people, to help them, to give them support when they need it, to make sure they never feel the hurt and loneliness I feel every day in my life."
"And then people take advantage of it and only see me as useful in transactional situations. It's never reciprocated in any way."
"I just want one unconditional-love relationship from one other person, or at least something that resembles something of a friendship."
"The last time someone reached out to me via text/phone call, was back in October 2022, and the last time someone reached out to me, without needing anything as the primary motivation of them reaching out, was July of 2022. I've reached out plenty of times to check on people I knew, and offered to hang/chat."
The Unfairness of Infertility
"How easy it is for some people to have kids that they don’t give a s**t about and how impossible it’s been for me."
"I really hope to be a foster parent someday but I wanted to practice on my own kid first before I go screw up someone else’s. I say that very cavalierly, but I genuinely wanted some practice before jumping in with a kid that, no matter what, is dealing with trauma from the separation of bio family."
"It’s precisely because I don’t take that lightly that I hesitate to become a foster parent. I knew before my infertility that I wanted to foster but my trauma also holds me back. It’s unfair shoes for a foster kid to fill when their foster parents are looking for a kid they couldn’t have one their own."
"Crossfire wasn’t half as intense as I thought it was going to be…"
"The Crossfire commercial promised quite a lot. You didn't get to fly into the ring upon the game pieces. And there was no actual fire or lightning, nor the chanting horde of post-apocalyptic children. And worst of all, when I beat my opponents, they didn't spin off into fiery oblivion."
Though there's a lot of good in the world, there are troubling things, too. What makes it worse is that the things that are often the most disappointing are sold to us as children to be the things to really look forward to. It doesn't add up.
All it takes to ruin what could've been the perfect TV show or movie is one character.
There could be several reasons for this.
One, it could be because audience members are unable to separate the indiscretions of an actor off-camera who was maybe embroiled in a drawn-out court case.
Or, it might be due to a horribly written character that either makes zero contributions to the over-arching plot or has distracting idiosyncrasies.
It turns out there are plenty of characters audiences could've done without.
Redditor Goingdown_in321 asked:
"Who is the most annoying character in a TV show or movie?"
Some less-than-desired characters are heavily despised through no fault of the actor.
The Problem With Perfection
"Joffrey in Game of Thrones. Incredibly well acted and written, I've never felt more active desire to beat the sh*t out of any other fictional character."
"Any precocious child character that is wiser than the adults and has to teach them the error of their ways with sass."
He's Just Doing This Job
"Boom mic guy from The Office."
We love to hate them.
"Buzz from Home Alone. He was a jerk to Kevin in both movies and got away with it."
"He purposely ate Kevin's pizza, Kevin reacts and gets sent to bed."
"He teases/humiliates Kevin during the Christmas concert, Kevin reacts and his family makes him look like the bad guy."
"Mrs. Carmody from the movie 'the Mist'. Just evil."
"Marcia Gay Harden was amazing in that role!"
British Ministry Of Magic's Most Hated
"She wasn’t horrible enough in the movies compared to the book. One of the most vile characters in any series hands down."
They meant well, but were not among audiences' favorite.
"Did I Do That?"
"This is very old school, but back in the day, Steve Urkel from Family Matters. It was a polarising character. You either loved him or absolutely hated him."
"We recently rewatched the series and his inability to accept Laura's constant "no" to his advances is not funny."
Tritagonist Late Wife
"Lori Grimes from the walking dead. I just cannot stand her. She is the reason I cannot be bothered to finish the show and it's a shame because I really like it and all the characters but damn I cannot stand that woman."
"Bro, if she’s the reason you can’t be bothered to finish the show, I’ve got good news and I’ve got bad news."
Hopeless City Romantic
"Also Carrie Bradshaw. Main character and definitely the 'main character' in her mind at all times. Irksome."
"Ya Carrie bugged the Hell out of me too. But I was obsessed with the show anyway. It's not the same without Samantha. She was my fav."
At Least She Was Pretty
"Rory gilmore. Cannot stand her at all."
"For such a smart person she sure made a lot of stupid decisions."
I think Jar Jar Binks was definitely the most annoying character that failed to connect with audiences.
The wacky Gungan outcast is one of several reasons why the prequel Star Wars trilogy is not my favorite.
The addition of his character as an attempt to inject some levity was so forced, and many viewers couldn't help but notice he was a racist caricature," pointing out similarities between his look and accent and the style and dialects spoken in the West Indies."
People Explain Which Things They Thought Were Normal Because Of Their Family That Aren't Normal At All
Everyone was beholden to certain rules growing up.
No TV until your homework is done, no sweets before dinner, lights out at 9:30 pm.
Frustrated as we were by these rules, we generally went along with them, as well as other customs and traditions organized by our families, knowing that just about all other kids were dealing with the same thing.
But were they?
Indeed, sometimes in adulthood, we've come to learn that the way things worked in our household were not what the broader population would consider normal.
While sometimes these discoveries only made us love our families more, other times it might have come as a very rude awakening indeed.
"What kind of behaviour did you think was normal because of your family, then grew up to find out it’s definitely not?"
Making Halloween Even More Fun
"I've got a positive one."
"My mum always threw the best Halloween parties."
"We had to eat donuts off strings without licking your lips, throw eggs at each other and attempt to catch them in a net, feed each other blindfolded."
"Apparently these aren't normal activities for Halloween parties."
"Especially the one year we played them on the street with random trick or treaters who came past."- butterfly_cats
You Mean, They're Supposed To Like Each Other?
"A complete and utter lack of any and all affection and romance between my parents."
"Turns out, my mom was cheating on my dad for over a decade."- HokageBiden
"Your parents hating each other."
"I only realized this was not normal after witnessing my first boyfriends parents interacting with each other kindly and respectfully."- No_Scale7584
"I thought all married couples eventually grew to hate each other and fight all the time."
"Apparently I was wrong."- mossadspydolphin
All Working Parents Make Sacrifices
"When I was a kid I thought that ALL dads worked a lot and rarely saw the kids."
"Until I got older and my friends would tell me things like 'my dad took me to a baseball game' or 'my dad took me camping'."
"I was so jealous."- Overall-Surround-925
Why Dirty Multiple Napkins?
"This is gross."
"We had a large family."
"Instead of handing out napkins, we used a single dishcloth, and passed it around the dinner table."
"We weren't poor."
"Just uncivilized."- Comprehensive_Run453
Everyone Grieves In Their Own Way
"Making a big deal about death."
"In my family when someone dies, it’s like, 'Wow, that sucks, what’s for dinner?'”- OutrageousStrength91
It's Hard To Escape One's Upbringing
"I’m still struggling to describe the way my mom lives the way she does, but the only word I can think of is 'tacky'?"
"Unless anyone can think of a better word."
"For context she grew up in a poor village, but I don’t think it’s commonplace there and maybe it’s because of how her parents raised her."
"She is clueless to how things 'should' be."
"Like it’s not normal to use shower curtains as normal curtains in the living room."
"Or to make a homemade pillow by stuffing it full of old jackets, instead of going out to buy a normal pillow."
"Or pruning a tree using a butcher knife instead of ACTUAL tree equipment."
"She exclaimed, 'Doesn’t that look nice!', but to me it just looked like the tree had been demolished by a butcher knife."
"Or when she held my baby brother over the trash can so he could poop in it, except she did this in the living room while my friend was there."
"My friend didn’t want to come over after that."
"Or how we have 1 pair of scissors in the house that we use for EVERYTHING, from cutting food to cutting hair, and she used it to cut a mole from her back instead of going to the doctor."
"We all still used the scissors afterwards too."
"Or how she repurposes stuff in the house to re-gift to other people."
"Like, it would be okay if she actually put in the effort to make it look nice, but most recently she re-gifted a plate of cookies that a neighbor gave to us, except we ate half already."
"And twice she gave my brothers supermarket gift cards for their friend’s 12th birthday party."
"Everyone in my family, mom included, uses the bathroom with the door wide open, whether it’s pee or poop, though my mom is different in that she doesn’t care if someone walks in to brush their teeth while she’s doing it, and will have conversations with you from the toilet too."
"I didn’t know until I was in college that other families don’t share the same bath towel."
"And nobody cleans the house except with a broom occasionally."
"So you can imagine how it looks."
"My mom hasn’t cleaned her car in 15 years."
"She used to be dirt poor in the village, so I guess old habits die hard."
"I was desensitized to everything since I grew up in it, but even when I was younger I could tell that this was a bit gross."- JaguarOwn3633
Some People Just Can't Control Their Emotions
"Having tantrums because someone showed that you were wrong."
"Feels weird now seeing my 50+ uncle throwing sh8t all over the place because I straight up told him I'm not lazy I have to rest a lot because of a serious heart condition that I'm diagnosed with."- Weak-Sand9779
We're Not Talking The Birds And The Bees...
"Parents interrogating you about your sex life."
"Everyone made jokes in movies and school about overprotective dads."
"I didn't realize being woken up at 5AM to be screamed at wasn't normal."
"Or being told I'm a shame on the family for a tiny hickey wasn't normal."
"Or assuming every piece of my actions was related to sex."
"I grew up in an Evangelical cult."- KaRue3
When Teasing Is Anything But Affectionate
"I thought the people closest to you were the ones who were meanest to you because they saw the real you (and the real you was bad)."
"I also thought anger was only expressed as horrible blowout arguments, insults, name calling, and physical aggression."
"Such sad things to learn and very difficult to unlearn."- Designer-Sky
Always Thinking About Their Future.
"Living so strictly under the rule of 'everything you do needs to be working towards your career'."
"No friends, no boyfriends or girlfriends, no days to do nothing and no self expression of any kind."- Cheep_thehomelessman
It should be said, no two people have the same idea of what they consider "normal."
But if your own home is not a place where you always felt loved and protected, then you were deprived of something all children deserved.