Twitter user and avid dater Jake (@squidslippers) is making headlines once again for his dating life.
Last time we saw Jake, his professor was helping him figure out a way to ask out Hannah using ethos, logos, and pathos points of persuasion. Things seemed to go well with Hannah, but Jake is now back in the dating game. This time he's sharing his most brutal rejections. Ouch!
i was literally on the phone with her in the process of asking her out & she said "hey i'm so sorry, my mom is call… https://t.co/ktkvPZBUur— jake (@jake)1535240593.0
i asked her on a date (via text, which you should not do for various reasons [i was young and naïve okay]) and she… https://t.co/DOh7JoEEUI— jake (@jake)1535240597.0
i called her on a monday to set up a date for that friday. she said yes! fast forward to thursday night at approxim… https://t.co/4iZMNT2VRC— jake (@jake)1535240600.0
i asked her in person, freshman year. she said "didn't you go on a date with lauren two weeks ago?" i was like "yea… https://t.co/iws9ryVCfQ— jake (@jake)1535240603.0
she and i had just met at a party. i thought we were hitting it off pretty well so as i was leaving i was like "hey… https://t.co/atIHJZf9wA— jake (@jake)1535240606.0
that's all, folks. stay tuned for more of my dating adventures, like the time a girl got her whole soccer team to w… https://t.co/wqNcrWBKxn— jake (@jake)1535240967.0
Folks could definitely relate to Jake's dating pain.
@squidslippers This one time I finally got the courage to ask my crush out on a date. We were good friends and we g… https://t.co/yDkAM9ee7e— Carlos Rodriguez (@Carlos Rodriguez)1535265793.0
That wasn't the kind of protection she needed?
@squidslippers In college, a girl and I have same group of friends. We hangout together. Had a few lunches with eac… https://t.co/TZXcMGEqgf— Yeah, right, right (@Yeah, right, right)1535291856.0
@squidslippers Upon arriving I see her standing, smiling, waving, beautiful. Then her brother rounds the corner, ha… https://t.co/Aj9Tw7Q5Xo— Yeah, right, right (@Yeah, right, right)1535293161.0
@squidslippers Says, her parents do not allow her to date without her brother. Fast forward about 6 months later sh… https://t.co/oa7HeWY4iu— Yeah, right, right (@Yeah, right, right)1535293369.0
It wasn't just the guys suffering. The ladies had war wounds of their own.
@squidslippers @Serial_Tragedy I’ve got one as a girl. Senior year of high school had been flirting with this guy a… https://t.co/Ls0G2Qjph7— Misty (@Misty)1535288771.0
@squidslippers The only time I've ever tried asking a guy out was in 7th grade (also via text, he was hella cute &… https://t.co/8zkgA5ZX4q— zTatisaurs_Ramosx (@zTatisaurs_Ramosx)1535298778.0
@squidslippers + I talked to my BFF at the time about it and she encouraged me to go for it & tell him & ask him ou… https://t.co/4ZEN2O85gy— zTatisaurs_Ramosx (@zTatisaurs_Ramosx)1535298925.0
No. Just no. No bags on heads. Ever.
@squidslippers Met a girl on Bumble, talked for like a week and we went out together, had enough fun that we went o… https://t.co/iMhC9Y7A1E— Join or Die (@Join or Die)1535307115.0
@squidslippers I’m thinking isn’t this why we have the Bumble protocol? Pictures and what not? I drive her home any… https://t.co/nNhd265Fx9— Join or Die (@Join or Die)1535307138.0
We'd call her a hypocrite but we can't find her.
@squidslippers It’s like we have so much in common. One time I went on a dinner date with this girl. During the dat… https://t.co/RShtZb8RrP— Maverick (@Maverick)1535300489.0
It's brutal out there, kids. Stay safe.