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Women Explain Which Professions Are An Absolute Dealbreaker For Them In A Partner

Reddit user abigbearofaman asked: 'Women of reddit, what job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?'

Frustrated woman
Photo by Julien L on Unsplash

We've all heard the phrase, "to each their own," and one place this concept really applies is in relationships, what the couple's goals are, what they like to do, and what they dream of doing as a profession.

They also know what they don't want, including which careers would ultimately be a deal breaker if their partner were to suddenly start working in that profession.

Redditor abigbearofaman asked:

"Women of Reddit, what job would a man have that would be an automatic deal breaker for you?"

A Surgeon

"A surgeon. A lot of the times they're on the clock 24 hours per day, seven days per week, and that's just too much to handle."

- Terugtrekking

"I dumped a surgeon this year. He was a nice guy. But our plans were always canceled. My last straw was when we had a late-night date, we had sex at his place, then he immediately got up and started to get dressed."

"He was working in 30 minutes and he hadn't told me. Just f**k and run. It was the first (and only) time we had sex without condoms, too."

"I went home and ended things the next day. I realized I didn't want to live that way."

- ferretunderpressure

Chefs and Bartenders

"I’m a chef and I get it 100%."

"It takes a special person to be able to put up with the amount of time I’m not around. The group I work for is opening a new restaurant where I’m an owner, and that really ratcheted up the workload. It’s all in hopes of a better life on the other side in a few years."

"I make fantastic money for what I do, but it’s all about what will be and not what is at the moment."

"I do love my job and the people I’m around every day really add to my gratification. My now business partners are all successful industry people who are awesome to talk to about making it and that light at the end of the tunnel. They genuinely want everyone to be happy and successful and pay their employees fairly which is a rarity in this industry."

"However, the grind is real. I pray to be successful to allow myself a life I never thought I could have, and I’m more than halfway there."

"A side note would be that I am also the only chef in my group that is sober and actively takes care of themself and works out. Most I know allow alcohol to consume them and get stuck in this cycle of abuse and anxiety. It’s not an easy profession and it is less conducive than most careers when it comes to maintaining a healthy lifestyle."

- sasquatchington

"I'm glad to see Chef on the list. You can add Bartender to that list, as well."

- hopelesscaribou

"I have to semi-disagree on the chef. Don't date a WORKING chef. He's going to be in a s**tty mood after cooking all day for other people, and you'll either be cooking yourself or ordering out a lot because he damn sure won't want to cook at home."

"HOWEVER, I married a FORMER chef, as in he hasn't worked in a restaurant in years, and he does all the cooking in the house because he wants to,"

- personal-tourist3064

Truck Drivers

"Ladies, find yourself a Truck Driver. We make the best partner. You miss us, we come back, we start to annoy you when we are home, and we leave again."

- CasperH38

"I don't know, man... the amount of truck drivers I see on Grindr that are just passing through makes me skeptical."

- sicilian504

"I can’t be away from my partner for too long."

- FyouPerrythePlatypus

An Active Soldier

"An army soldier who is active on the ground or could be deployed any time."

"I’d be terrified of losing the man I love to the horror of war. I’d rather be alone. It is his decision to give up his life or sanity for war, but I just can’t be a partner and potential caregiver to someone like that."

"I already lost a happy childhood. I can’t sacrifice anymore."

- deadbydurp

First Responders

​"First responders (particularly police officers). That’s a boatload of trauma I’m not prepared to deal with (having dated someone with really bad PTSD on top of my own trauma, it really made things worse for my mental health)."

"Every time I’ve matched with one of them on Tinder, the following conversation gave me weird as f**k vibes."

"It takes a certain type of person to be a partner for someone in those professions, and that's not me."

- spicyychorizoo


"I’m a lawyer, and I’ve told my sister to avoid lawyers. Yes, people might hate lawyers, but so do we."

- wynnduffyskiingg

Social Media Influencers

​"Man who likes men here but: SOCIAL MEDIA INFLUENCER."

- A_Mirabeau_709

"Dating an influencer makes you a cameraman."

- ThinkPan

"I think I wouldn't mind handling the camera or the technical side of streaming and lighting. But I still don't think I'd want to spend that much time with an influencer."

- FuzzyLogic0

"I went on ONE date with one. Never again. She documented the entire date and her personality while on camera was different than on so it was like being on a date with two people at the same time."

- imanon33

Specifically TikTok Influencers

"TikToker. They are just so incredibly NPC (Non-Player Characters)."

- unchillhill

"I matched with one on Tinder once. He was a huge a**hole, and when I turned down his offer to hook up, he said, 'Do you know who I am?!' and went on this huge spiel about how famous he was."

- spazthejam43

Circus Performers

"Circus performers."

"No real juicy story here. We just had super different lives and almost no common points of reference. He dropped out of high school to join the circus (yes, really) and I went to college, grad school, then worked at universities so he had basically no understanding of what my life was like."

"He also had some weird habits and fixations, he took on new hobbies not because he was genuinely interested but because he thought they made him interesting. Very much a drive to get attention. He viewed all animals as tools rather than pets and had a real disdain for horses after working with them."

"He was nearly 30 when we met and was living in an apartment for the first time ever because he'd been on the road for his entire adulthood. We just had extremely different lives and it was novel at first but then it wasn't."

- nutellatime

Real Estate Agent

"Real Estate agent. Never again."

- ___Wasabi___

"I worked in sales for a number of years, and the number of ultra-competitive d-bags it attracts is unreal. I've always wondered if real estate isn't similar. Based on the presentation of some realtors, it looks worse, way, way worse."

- thecwestions

"As a guy who dated a woman realtor. Yep, never again. In sales, you have to get used to white lies. That permeates into the relationship. Also, if they are dedicated to their job. That means they are never off."

"You want a nice dinner with them but a lead call comes in. Guess what's happening. Yep, they are taking the lead call. You end up playing second fiddle to their job."

- pawsa

Someone Famous

"Personally, I wouldn't want to date anyone famous. Especially if they're someone who gets swarmed by fans."

- Oscars_Grouch

"Anyone famous or public facing (actor, politician) because no matter how much you try to keep yourself private, you will be talked about in media. There are a few celebrity couples who have been pretty successful at drawing those lines (Dolly Parton and Carl Dean) but even the strongest lines are blurry to some degree."

- tah4349

Life Coach

"A life coach."

- dylanjreid79

"Never again. I dated a former life coach and he'd say the most mundane s**t (or insights I'd already had, but phrased differently) and expect me to shower him with thanks and praise."

"By the time I left, he was trying to start an MLM (Multi-Level Marketing). Glad to be out of that one."

"It was rare for me to thank him when he exhibited this behavior. At one point, I remember looking at him silently after he said something obvious and he said, 'YOU'RE WELCOME.' Or he'd talk about how people go through their whole lives without knowing the earth-shattering (not) things he was telling me."

"I typically wasn't looking for advice anyway, but he just couldn't let go of thinking he had the (overly simplified) solutions to everyone's problems."

- llama_in_galoshes

Scammy Sales

"Tradeshow sales, drop shipping. My friend does this and I've worked with him before. Everyone is on something, everyone spends the day lying, and no one minds scamming people. Your coworkers are always stealing and sleeping around. It's all so scummy."

"I would be fine dating someone who created their product, sold handmade goods or food. I would be fine with someone who was part of the entertainment at fairs, but not someone in the drop shipping side."

- Scarred5

Religious Roles

"Something religious. I'm an atheist, happy to be one, and have no interest in becoming an ex-atheist."

- gilded_lady

"I'm an Atheist, and I was once casually seeing a religious guy who eventually told me that it was his 'mission from god' to bring me back to the church."

"That was the last night we ever spoke."

- WhoGotSnacks

No Job At All

"A lack of a job and zero desire to get one is a deal breaker for me."

"He could be 10/10 smoking hot but if he refuses to work and just sits on his a** all day playing video games and drinking, I’m out. A guy doesn’t have to make $60 an hour, but I’m in my 30’s. I need someone who has a job and is financially responsible. I’m not looking to be anyone’s sugar momma."

"I’m not talking about disabled people (legitimate reason to not work), people trying to find a job (I think we can all relate), or successful video game streamers. I’m talking about able-bodied guys who can work but refuse to even get even a part-time job out of pure laziness."

"I dated a guy like this once. We shared an apartment. I was working two jobs at the time, while he worked part-time but would call in for the stupidest reasons. 'I’m too tired.' 'My car won’t make it through the snow' (when there was 0.1' of snow on the ground)."

"He didn’t contribute, didn’t try to better himself, and he was content being a lazy sack of s**t. I left him. Now I’m doing great and he still depends on others to pay all his bills and expenses."

- draytonSawyersBBQ

It's pretty clear why most of these are on the list after the Redditors explained their reasoning. A common occurrence is thinking a job sounds impressive, like being a Surgeon, without realizing what home life would be like with that person, leading ultimately to unhappiness.

People Reveal The Weirdest Thing About Themselves

Reddit user Isitjustmedownhere asked: 'Give an example; how weird are you really?'

Let's get one thing straight: no one is normal. We're all weird in our own ways, and that is actually normal.

Of course, that doesn't mean we don't all have that one strange trait or quirk that outweighs all the other weirdness we possess.

For me, it's the fact that I'm almost 30 years old, and I still have an imaginary friend. Her name is Sarah, she has red hair and green eyes, and I strongly believe that, since I lived in India when I created her and there were no actual people with red hair around, she was based on Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo.

I also didn't know the name Sarah when I created her, so that came later. I know she's not really there, hence the term 'imaginary friend,' but she's kind of always been around. We all have conversations in our heads; mine are with Sarah. She keeps me on task and efficient.

My mom thinks I'm crazy that I still have an imaginary friend, and writing about her like this makes me think I may actually be crazy, but I don't mind. As I said, we're all weird, and we all have that one trait that outweighs all the other weirdness.

Redditors know this all too well and are eager to share their weird traits.

It all started when Redditor Isitjustmedownhere asked:

"Give an example; how weird are you really?"

Monsters Under My Bed

"My bed doesn't touch any wall."

"Edit: I guess i should clarify im not rich."

– Practical_Eye_3600

"Gosh the monsters can get you from any angle then."

– bikergirlr7

"At first I thought this was a flex on how big your bedroom is, but then I realized you're just a psycho 😁"

– zenOFiniquity8

Can You See Why?

"I bought one of those super-powerful fans to dry a basement carpet. Afterwards, I realized that it can point straight up and that it would be amazing to use on myself post-shower. Now I squeegee my body with my hands, step out of the shower and get blasted by a wide jet of room-temp air. I barely use my towel at all. Wife thinks I'm weird."

– KingBooRadley


"In 1990 when I was 8 years old and bored on a field trip, I saw a black Oldsmobile Cutlass driving down the street on a hot day to where you could see that mirage like distortion from the heat on the road. I took a “snapshot” by blinking my eyes and told myself “I wonder how long I can remember this image” ….well."

– AquamarineCheetah

"Even before smartphones, I always take "snapshots" by blinking my eyes hoping I'll remember every detail so I can draw it when I get home. Unfortunately, I may have taken so much snapshots that I can no longer remember every detail I want to draw."

"Makes me think my "memory is full.""

– Reasonable-Pirate902

Same, Same

"I have eaten the same lunch every day for the past 4 years and I'm not bored yet."

– OhhGoood

"How f**king big was this lunch when you started?"

– notmyrealnam3

Not Sure Who Was Weirder

"Had a line cook that worked for us for 6 months never said much. My sous chef once told him with no context, "Baw wit da baw daw bang daw bang diggy diggy." The guy smiled, left, and never came back."

– Frostygrunt


"I pace around my house for hours listening to music imagining that I have done all the things I simply lack the brain capacity to do, or in some really bizarre scenarios, I can really get immersed in these imaginations sometimes I don't know if this is some form of schizophrenia or what."

– RandomSharinganUser

"I do the same exact thing, sometimes for hours. When I was young it would be a ridiculous amount of time and many years later it’s sort of trickled off into almost nothing (almost). It’s weird but I just thought it’s how my brain processes sh*t."

– Kolkeia

If Only

"Even as an adult I still think that if you are in a car that goes over a cliff; and right as you are about to hit the ground if you jump up you can avoid the damage and will land safely. I know I'm wrong. You shut up. I'm not crying."

– ShotCompetition2593

Pet Food

"As a kid I would snack on my dog's Milkbones."

– drummerskillit

"Haha, I have a clear memory of myself doing this as well. I was around 3 y/o. Needless to say no one was supervising me."

– Isitjustmedownhere

"When I was younger, one of my responsibilities was to feed the pet fish every day. Instead, I would hide under the futon in the spare bedroom and eat the fish food."

– -GateKeep-

My Favorite Subject

"I'm autistic and have always had a thing for insects. My neurotypical best friend and I used to hang out at this local bar to talk to girls, back in the late 90s. One time he claimed that my tendency to circle conversations back to insects was hurting my game. The next time we went to that bar (with a few other friends), he turned and said sternly "No talking about bugs. Or space, or statistics or other bullsh*t but mainly no bugs." I felt like he was losing his mind over nothing."

"It was summer, the bar had its windows open. Our group hit it off with a group of young ladies, We were all chatting and having a good time. I was talking to one of these girls, my buddy was behind her facing away from me talking to a few other people."

"A cloudless sulphur flies in and lands on little thing that holds coasters."

"Cue Jordan Peele sweating gif."

"The girl notices my tension, and asks if I am looking at the leaf. "Actually, that's a lepidoptera called..." I looked at the back of my friend's head, he wasn't looking, "I mean a butterfly..." I poked it and it spread its wings the girl says "oh that's a BUG?!" and I still remember my friend turning around slowly to look at me with chastisement. The ONE thing he told me not to do."

"I was 21, and was completely not aware that I already had a rep for being an oddball. It got worse from there."

– Phormicidae

*Teeth Chatter*

"I bite ice cream sometimes."


"That's how I am with popsicles. My wife shudders every single time."


Never Speak Of This

"I put ice in my milk."


"You should keep that kind of thing to yourself. Even when asked."

– We-R-Doomed

"There's some disturbing sh*t in this thread, but this one takes the cake."

– RatonaMuffin

More Than Super Hearing

"I can hear the television while it's on mute."

– Tira13e

"What does it say to you, child?"

– Mama_Skip


"I put mustard on my omelettes."

– Deleted User


– NotCrustOr-filling

Evened Up

"Whenever I say a word and feel like I used a half of my mouth more than the other half, I have to even it out by saying the word again using the other half of my mouth more. If I don't do it correctly, that can go on forever until I feel it's ok."

"I do it silently so I don't creep people out."

– LesPaltaX

"That sounds like a symptom of OCD (I have it myself). Some people with OCD feel like certain actions have to be balanced (like counting or making sure physical movements are even). You should find a therapist who specializes in OCD, because they can help you."

– MoonlightKayla

I totally have the same need for things to be balanced! Guess I'm weird and a little OCD!

Close up face of a woman in bed, staring into the camera
Photo by Jen Theodore

Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.

Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?

But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.

It would be so great to be sure there is something else.

But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.

Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:

"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"


Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy

"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."



"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."

"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."

"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."


Take Me Back

"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."

"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."



The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy

"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."


This is why I hate surgery.

You just never know.



"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."



"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."

"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”



"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"


"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"


The Fog

"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."

"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."


Through the Walls

"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."

"She's quite alive and well today."


Well let's all be happy to be alive.

It seems to be all we have.

Man's waist line
Santhosh Vaithiyanathan/Unsplash

Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.

The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.

Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.

Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:

"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"

Redditors didn't see these coming.

Shiver Me Timbers

"I’m always cold now!"

– Telrom_1

"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."

– r7ndom

"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."

– mr_remy

Drawing Concern

"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."

– dee-fondy

"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"

"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."

– LizardofDeath

Unleashing Insults

"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”

"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."

– alanamablamaspama

Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight

"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."

– KeltarCentauri

"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."

– KatMagic1977

"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."

– Jaew96

These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.


"I can buy clothes in any store I want."

– WaySavvyD

"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."

– ganache98012

No More Symptoms

"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."

– colleennicole93

Expanding Capabilities

"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."

– Ramblonius

People Change Their Tune

"How much nicer people are to you."

"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"

– LiZZygsu

"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"

"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"

– awholedamngarden

It's gonna take some getting used to.

Bones Everywhere

"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."

– Princess-Pancake-97

"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."

– bekastrange

Knee Pillow

"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."

– snic2030

"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."

– Strongbad23

More Mobility

"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."

"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."

– dma1965

People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.

But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.

That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.