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Liars are not the kind of company we seek to keep.

But bad liars can be entertaining enough to have around long enough to expose them.


My favorite example of this was when a fellow grade school student lied about having seen a movie just so he could be a part of a conversation.

"Oh yeah, I saw that too," he said, as a self-invite.

When asked what parts he liked about the movie, he described all the snippets that were shown in the trailer. He couldn't for the life of him recall specific details about key plot points and consequently told us to screw off.

Plot twist: the pathetic liar trying to fit in was meeeee.

Curious about strangers who had been hoodwinked, Redditor KlingyYT asked:

"What is the most obvious lie you have ever been told?"

The Smashed Omega

"My first watch was an omega and I saved up on high school to get it. One of my good friends back then asked to wear it for 1 period and would give it back at lunch. He begged and begged so as a hs kid I gave in or couldn't keep saying no I guess, weak on me, obviously.

Well, He smashed it (apparently smashed the glass to test it) gave it back and said it was a fake and that's why the glass cracked and said he didn't do it and it just fell apart. A**hole became a medical doctor and is now involved in politics and holds state office. I'm still pissed about the watch he never admitted he broke cuz he was salty and jealous."

sunset117

 Same Backstory

"When a co-worker told my own story back to me as his own. Twice."

lurkity_mclurkington

"I had a friend do this once, he was hanging out with a large group of my friends that he hardly knew and my best friend (still my best friend too) just went 'wow it's so crazy you had ver-betim the exact same childhood story that Jason has told us all before, right down to the small town in Kansas where it happened' and the color drained straight out of his face. Didn't say a word to me for like 3 days. Dude turned out to be a pathological liar on many levels, very strange to think how I spent 4 years of high school with someone lying straight to my face constantly and didn't realize it until that moment."

Modusobit

Je Ne Comprends Pas Français

"I speak French, though I'm losing it from lack of use. But one of my college guy friends started dating a girl 'from France.' He was all excited because she could talk to me in her native language and I could help translate. So he brought her to a party at my sorority house and introduced us."

"I greeted her in French with a very simple, 'bonjour, bienvenue, comment ça va' which is just hi, welcome, how are you."

"Blank stare and red face in response. She then said, in what I thought was a kind of strange accent, that she's sorry, she didn't understand me. I looked at the guy and said 'I thought you told me she was French?' Because maybe she was a different nationality and he was confused."

"He looked at her and she just turned and left. He followed then returned a bit later and said he had caught up to her and she started screaming at him in perfect Midwestern accented English that he was a jerk for setting her up to look like a fool."

"He had genuinely been excited that he could introduce her to someone she could talk to so he was blown away by her accusations and then angry that she lied. She apparently felt faking an accent would make her more appealing or something."

"I would see her around on campus after that but she avoided me like the plague. TBH, I felt bad for her, but if you're going to fake it, at least pick a country with a language you can speak."

LaLionneEcossaise

Solo Artist

"When I was a kid, the internet wasn't a thing so, my friends were whoever happened to live in the neighborhood. One kid was a well-known liar and exaggerator. We were maybe 14 years old at this time."

"This kid could play guitar and was always talking himself up about it and talking about 'his band.' He actually could play, but 'his band' did not exist."


"One day, I called him at his house, from my house. I don't remember what it was about, but a few minutes into the conversation, told me, 'by the way, I'm in Florida with my band', just out of the blue. This was before even pagers were a common thing. I called him. At his house."

"I just said something like , 'uh huh. Ok.' and ended the conversation. I then proceeded to tell all the other kids in the neighborhood."

Knight_Owls

Going Nowhere Fast

"My friend told me that getting a Peloton changed her life. I looked up her workout stats & she had used it 4 times in 5 months of owning it. Her husband fared a little better with using it 9 times."

"Don't know why this annoyed me so much."

natasha_c

Shopping For Sympathy

"My little girl told everyone in the supermarket that our cat died and she was sad. We don't own a cat."

VixenRoss

Please Don't Quit

"We cannot give you a raise right now, but we will compensate you as soon as the budget allows".

"Turns out 'when the budget allows' is 'when you already have another job offer and put in your two weeks notice.'"

Daikataro

Does Not Compute

"As a tax accountant, I'm told lies about how much money people actually made all the time during tax season."

"My favorite was a guy telling me he's broke because he only makes $35,000/year in NYC so my (very reasonable) fee is too much for him. He says this after he asks me if he can deduct the new BMW 5 series he just bought his son all cash."

reusethisname

Oh, Gullible One

"My brother told me I was a dragon and I totally believed him. Man I was a dumb kid, but now I'm a dumb Adult."

ChristOnABike122

Recipe For Disaster

"When my little brother mixed like 50 condiments, including sprinkles, ketchup, cereal n stuff, into a bag of popcorn an ate it telling us it was delicious when his face looked like hed just ate 10 extremely sour warheads at once. He later admitted he just wanted us to eat it but we never did."

PancakeOnMyForehead

Shady Dealer

"I was picking up a sofa from a guy I found on Kijiji and he stopped me right before leaving to see if I wanted to buy a mirror he was also looking to get rid of. I wasn't really interested but my wife seemed keen so we stopped in the hallway to check it out. He said 'It was a gift from my son in law. It's a beautiful mid-century antique. I'll let it go for $75.' He went on about what an amazing mirror it was and even told me 'pick it up and feel how sturdy it is!'. I picked it up (it was really heavy actually) and took a peek at the back and saw a sticker from Value Village with a $30 price tag. I kinda chuckled to myself and asked if he would go any lower than $75. He said 'I really couldn't'. Then I said 'Well, I can see a tag from Value Village on the back here...' We ended up getting the 'mid-century antique' mirror for $15 and me and my wife still laugh about the amazing deal we got on it."

Draculad

"The Accident"

"My ex told me he was in a car accident, totaled his car, broke a few ribs. (He was trying to get sympathy so i would get back together with him.) Blaming the accident on me, since he was 'Distracted' after the break up."

"He sent me a photo of his car smashed in, i google searched it. First pic of his make/model that was wrecked. He formulated the story after the picture."

"But here's the deal, the wheels didn't match. So i drove by his house that evening, car was fixed and in his driveway. 'Oh yes, i paid the shop extra to get me in today. So i could have my car to come see you if you wanted me to.....'

"HAHAHA bro."

Miskelaneous

Underwear Thieves

"My son takes every opportunity to get naked. It's a struggle to get him to even wear underpants half the time."

"We found him sat around naked one time and asked him where his pants had gone."

"Bees. Bees came in through the window and stole his pants."

"Lying little sh*t - Everyone knows that's its gnomes who steal underwear."

metans

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Image by Mandyme27 from Pixabay

It’s weird how much stuff we let slide when we’re kids. Even if you look at the TV shows we watched back then, we had such a high threshold for the bizarre (early 2000’s Nickelodeon, anyone?). So it’s no surprise that some of us straight-up didn’t react when we saw weird crap in person.

Here are a few wild examples of seemingly harmless things we saw as kids that would be horrifying to see now. Brace yourself, this one gets crazy.



Kids and water aren’t a great mix sometimes. It can get real gross, real quick.

Not worth the tranquility.

I've always loved the tranquil feeling of being under water. When I was a kid I would just hold my breath and float around. Sometimes adults would think I was drowning and run up and scoop me out. I don't remember this (it was when I was pretty young) but my parents have told me about it

I used to think it was a funny story... people thinking I was drowning when I was just trying to relax

....until I watched a video explaining child drownings and yeah, the way I acted in water looked exactly like a drowned kid.

I don't think it's funny anymore.

Turboshot49cents

Uhhhhhh.....ew?

Renee Zellweger Water GIF by Working Title Giphy

Flood water. It was fun and games for the kids, and we even splashed around in it, much to the horror of our parents (who immediately scrubbed us down). We didn't understand then, but now, oh wow...sewer, insects, rats, parasites, etc.

MrFantasticallyNerdy

That’s actually hilarious.

My friend and I were walking along the road in about thigh high flood waters. A small boat with two men comes up to us. We were about 9 years old and I think they were National Guard. Anyway, one of the men asks if we remembered exactly where the manholes in the road were. We answered no. He told us that all of the covers had most likely been washed away in the flood but not to worry because it would probably only take them a few days to find our bodies if we were sucked down one of the holes by currents they produced. He spoke in a matter of fact tone and then left.

As an adult, I have zero doubt those two men had a good laugh as they looked back and watched us nope out of that water like two roadrunners in a cartoon.

Edit: It was Fish and Game Wardens. The NG didn't come until later.

Daykri3

Not to mention the crazy injuries that kids somehow are constantly surrounded by.

Had a jogger get hit by a car outside my house once when I was about eight or nine. My nephew came running inside yelling at my parents and my sister to call the ambulance because he was bleeding pretty badly.

I could even see him from our playrooms window and I wondered what he was doing lying on the grass. Turns out he was bleeding out pretty badly, deliriously yelling at my parents when they tried to help.

Eventually, an ambulance came and picked him up, but my parents always told me he made it out okay. The day after, in the spot he was found someone had put a lily in the grass in a vase.

It took me longer than I care to admit to figure out he died from the hit and run.

SixthUnderminer

How sharp were they, though?

A kid f*cking sharpened his fingers with an automatic pencil sharpener at grade 2. Everyone didn't know what was going on until the teacher started freaking out.

NubbishWood

I just remembered I tried to stick my finger into electric pencil sharpeners as a kid and disliked how my fingers were too big to fit in it. What the hell was I thinking?

BSPlanes

Rock climbing can definitely be dangerous.

scared george costanza GIF by HULU Giphy

We did climbing in PE (sixth to eight grade). Like rock climbing and we had to do our own harness and stuff. PE teacher (supposedly) checked it after we were done to make sure it was done right. One day my neighbor broke an arm and leg because she wasn't properly strapped and fell.

This was at an international American school in Egypt around year 2000, for all those wondering what type of school does rock climbing.

Ashleywalz90

Kids are, in fact, made of elastic.

We used to jump of our roof. First time hurt a little, but after a few times you learnt how to land.

Did it regularly and would try various items as 'parachutes' to see if it slows you down any.

I look at that height now and wonder how the hell we never broke anything - kids bones are more elastic I guess.

Reapr

​It’s amazing what adults can get away with right under kids’ noses.

A casual hit-and-run.

car japan GIF Giphy

My babysitter was running late to take me to piano lessons and rear ended an old man at a stoplight. She told me that he must not have noticed because he didn't get out of his car. I thought nothing of it, and she drove away and took me to my piano lesson.

I forgot about it, and it didn't click until I remembered the incident years later that I had been unknowingly involved in a hit and run.

Idontknowwhattoput22

Big yikes.

Not so much something I saw - but when I was 5 or 6 I was at a family wedding, and there was this really friendly adult guy (who I didn't know) who told me he was really worried about his nice new car in the parking lot and how he wanted to check on the car but didn't want to leave the wedding.

He asked if I could go check on it and he would pay me $5 just to go see if his car was "okay" being that age $5 was a crazy amount of money so I couldn't believe my luck.

On the way to the parking lot, my mom intercepted me and was absolutely horrified, I remember not understanding why, like trying to tell her no she had it wrong he was nice and paying me! And as an adult now I'm like that's so messed up and I wonder how close a call that could have been.

DeclanAF

Go grandma!

Until the age of 12 my grandma had custody of me. I used to sleep with her and she slept with a baseball bat next to her bed. It wasn't until I was much older that I realized she did it dads friends wouldn't be able to do anything to me.

Dad was a drug addict and drunk and when he was out of prison he had all kinds of people in and out of the house. You would never know what would be missing the next day - often my Nintendo :(

She did everything she could to protect me from God knows who/what and I had zero clue!

Edit: Damn this blew up while I was sleeping!! Thank you so much to everyone for the support :)

Im adding extra details to help understand the situation.

My grandmother was born in 1914, had a third grade education and was a housewife her entire life. She was already 71 when I was born! My grandpa died when I was 4 and it was just her and I. We lived in a tiny 2 bedroom house in a terrible neighborhood. It was paid off and that's all she could afford. She lived off of the social security death benefits from my grandpa and food banks. She couldn't just "leave" and go anywhere else.

Also, for those suggesting she should have called the cops - cops don't do anything if you say "I'm scared these guys will do something bad" cops have to wait till something bad happens.

She did her very best and raised my right! Now my father is back in prison (shocker) and is pissed at me for not letting the past be in the past and welcoming him with open arms. Meanwhile I'm a 2x college graduate with a great job, my own house and recently married! She definitely did something right. Unfortunately she died when I was 12. Id give anything to be able to tell her how grateful I am to her for doing everything right.

LostLadyA


We see some scary stuff as kids. No wonder most of us are so messed up years later. Often these things don’t even register as something terrible- a lot of times, the things we witnessed were just a part of life.

The best we can do is to take our trauma, and learn from it, so we don’t pass it down to our own children. Because kids don’t deserve it- they deserve to have happy childhoods and not think about the horrors of the world.