Sometimes, well, many times, being single is the way to go. And we seem to learn that lesson the hard way.
You know within minutes if a date has gone off the rails.
I'm not talking about a "let's ease into this because of nerves" situation.
Crazy is crazy! Once you get that feeling of... "I'd rather be home listening to Adele," just go home and listen to Adele.
RedditorZuzpowanted everyone to share about the times they quickly realized being single was the better option. They asked:
"What was the moment you realized that you shouldn’t have showed up to a date?"
Are we so hopeful for love we'll ignore what is slapping us in the face? Why?
Wolf
Pbs Nature Wolf GIF by Nature on PBSGiphy"When he bit my forearm really hard after smelling the perfume on my wrist." ~ vanhamm3rsly
I hate charcuterie!!
"An alleged friend told me her coworker and I would be great together and wanted to do a double date at a festival with her and her husband. Date suggested he and I meet up the night before to get to know each other and I suggested a gaming bar I'd wanted to try."
"Date time arrives and he's not there. He finally shows up and tells me he had to stop home to let the dogs out so they don't sh*t all over the floor. He then proceeds to show me a picture of a floor covered in dog poop and says guess it didn't work. He is still wearing his work clothes."
"It has been three hours since work ended and he went home to deal with the dogs but didn't change. He proceeds to eat the rest of the charcuterie plate I ordered by himself and then orders wings for himself. We decide to check out a game since I have now paid for more game time. He wants a mall madness game that is not designed for two people. We settle on a playable game."
"It's not great. As we are wrapping up he tells me the last date he took here had sex with him in the parking lot he stares at me expertly. I tell him that's not going to happen. I tell my friend I'm skipping the festival. He's shocked and thought we had a spark." ~ Polyf**kery
Who's that Girl?
"My mom met a nice girl during the day, unknown to me. My mom and I were supposed to go out for dinner that night. She invites the girl, unknown to me, then ditches the dinner once she knows she has set me up on a date. My mom was very worried I was gay at the time."
"The girl and I get to chatting over drinks, she's fun, flirty, cute - and a meth-addicted sex worker who thought it was some weird kink game that she was being hired to get into the middle of. So...YEA. She was understanding when we realized the mix-up, but I gave my mom sh*t for that one for years." ~ Yvaelle
Blind Dates...
"I went on a date a few months after me and my college gf had broken up. I had matched with this girl off of tinder and we messaged a bit, but she was relentless about wanting to know more about my ex and how I felt after the break up. I looked past this and met her for dinner a couple nights later."
"I walked in the restaurant and my ex is sitting at the table under that girl's name. I turned around to walk out and got a tinder notification from the girl I had agreed to meet 'you’ll never be able to get away from me.' Should have stayed home that night, and steer clear of blind dates." ~ Automatic_Doctor4934
When in England...
Waving London GIF by PLAYMOBILGiphy"When she told me my English accent was dumb, and then repeatedly shouted out that everyone else in the bar had a dumb English accent. FYI, it was a bar in England." ~ notJeffbutGeoff
Yeah, people making fun of you or biting you is an exit strategy to utilize. RUN!!
I'm Done...
Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy"When at the party I met her at and her boyfriend said 'Go ahead, take her. I’m sick of her crap.'” ~ cleric3648
I'm Out!
"I was supposed to pick him up at his air bnb so we could go out for dinner and drinks. Turns out the air bnb was actually his parents house. I thought it was weird that he lied about where he was staying but figured he was just embarrassed so I didn’t make a big deal about it. When I suggested a place I wanted to go for dinner he told me his parents made dinner so he wanted to stay there to eat and go out for drinks after."
"I felt super awkward about having dinner with his family on our first date, but it got worse. He made me a plate of food, and had me sit at a table in the garage, and told me he’d be right back. Then he went inside and had dinner with his whole family while I sat alone in the garage. I wish I could say I noped out of there, but unfortunately I stuck it out for the worst date night of my life." ~ squisheekittee
400 times NO!
"When he said he was actually from an entirely different state, looked completely different from his photos and then asked if he could borrow $400 for Methadone before we even ordered. I left immediately. Been stalking me for over ten years. Fun times." ~ AlienFemTech
Just Run
"She was a kleptomaniac. Thought she was exaggerating or maybe just went through a tough time. Then she showed me the pile of legal paperwork. She was on 1st name terms with the judge she had been to court so many times. Then she asked me to touch her back."
"Said she felt super sweaty from the MCAT she'd taken and then showed me how she disposed of her used needles because she was a heroin addict. Should have noped out sooner but she was sweet but yeah, she needed a therapist not a boyfriend." ~ DeadlyChaffinch
Chicken Issues
mr bean eating GIFGiphy"When he didn't let me look at a menu, ordered for me (a water and a kids chicken tender meal- I'm 24), ate half my meal, and was talking so much about himself he spit pieces of chicken at/on me." ~ EstetheAinur
I'm Here!
"He was picking me up and texted me 'here' a little early so he had plenty of time to do this before I got down to his car, but he waited 'til I opened the door and there was about a dozen magazines (like rifle mags) on the passenger's seat and he said 'hope you're not some crazy liberal! don't mind these mags' and then brushed them onto the floor. It was super awkward/cringy. Also it was my first date since I rough breakup and the rest of it was just as bad if not worse, I ended up crying in the bathroom half way through." ~ lebrunjemz
And where did we go?
"Before our first ever date (which he told me he wanted to plan), I’d told him I had been vegetarian for a few years now and as long as where we went had vegetarian options, I didn’t mind where it was. He brought me to a steakhouse. Said he’d forgotten I’d said that."
"I ended up just having fries the whole night. Points to him, he did seem like he had actually forgotten and the conversation was good so I agreed to a second date. Now, I had also told him I was caffeine intolerant — couldn’t have any coffee, Coke, most teas etc. And where did we go? To the University coffee stand."
"I left to go to my archaeology class and my desk buddy tells me we are getting a new tutor because our first one got sick and couldn’t see the rest of the semester through. Guess who our new tutor was? Mr. Steakhouse and Coffee Stand Guy. I maintain to this day that it was worth it all just for the look on his face when he walked into class. I wish I was making this sh** up." ~ jungkooksboots
'wow you even walk like a guy!'
"When he said 'wow you even walk like a guy!' As soon as he got out of my car. Whatever that means. He then proceeded to be racist, sexist, and homophobic during this 'date,' which was more of a monologue from his part, and even implied I'm fat and that he had no interest in me before trying to kiss me. Please don't take people you don't know on dates using your car.... You'll be stranded with them." ~ redvaporeon-sk
HER!!
caught ugly betty GIF by HULUGiphy"When his phone homescreen and screen saver was of his 'ex girlfriend.'" ~ MamaBearCA
“perfect for him"
"I went to his house to play Magic after meeting him at my LGS a couple times, excused myself to pee and as I was peeing, he stood outside of the bathroom door and did an awful impression of the joker laugh while saying he’s been waiting for someone like me and other extremely creepy phrases about how I am 'perfect for him.'"
"The post peeing bathroom exit was so absolutely awkward. Riddled with me saying several different versions of 'Oh wow, that was a great joker impression haha' and him continuing to speak like the joker. It was the longest, most tense, fearful walk down the stairs. I left shortly after that. It still tortures me." ~ fleshsingularity
"technically"
"Had a great time at dinner, and went for a walk through a park afterwards. We're walking along and talking and she mentions to me that she is still 'technically"'engaged to a guy, but she was only marrying him because he had gotten her pregnant. But she had had a miscarriage a few days ago (had not told him yet), and now that there was no baby and she had met me she was going to tell him and break up with him. There was no second date." ~ techblackops
Cherry on top...
"Drove 50 minutes to her small town to watch a movie, turns out she meant at her place, and it was a sequel to a trilogy I had never started. She was pretty awkward which was fine but then she started REALLY over sharing saying she was a crack baby, and telling me all her trauma."
"That was the point I knew it was a mistake considering she had fibbed her way into the date. By the end of the night she was telling me she loved me. I left shortly after that and I let her down over text once I was home. Cherry on top- she got pregnant three months later from her boyfriend of 5 months." ~ asymptoticharacter
Thief
Oh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy"When she told me she wanted to dine and dash, pretty much as soon as we ordered drinks." ~ That_Interview_4005
off the wagon...
"When she told me she recently celebrated 100 days of being sober and then suggested we buy some coke. She told me not to worry about it because she had done it a few times since celebrating those 100 days." ~ gintoclopus
Rants!
"When he went on a long and obnoxious rant about how my job at the time (assistant welder) was 'stupid and a waste of time' and that I should become a dental hygienist, a job I have no interest in, because 'at least it has a future.' The whole date itself was AWFUL. But it was at that point I realized, we were not a 'match' to say the least 🙄." ~ SpaceOctopus94
A quick hello can lead to a quick goodbye. That's ok. Sometimes that is life. Embrace the quick goodbye when necessary.
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Never miss another big, odd, funny or heartbreaking moment again.
Experiencing death is a fascinating and frightening idea.
Who doesn't want to know what is waiting for us on the other side?
But so many of us want to know and then come back and live a little longer.
It would be so great to be sure there is something else.
But the whole dying part is not that great, so we'll have to rely on other people's accounts.
Redditor AlaskaStiletto wanted to hear from everyone who has returned to life, so they asked:
"Redditors who have 'died' and come back to life, what did you see?"
Sensations
Happy Good Vibes GIF by Major League SoccerGiphy"My dad's heart stopped when he had a heart attack and he had to be brought back to life. He kept the paper copy of the heart monitor which shows he flatlined. He said he felt an overwhelming sensation of peace, like nothing he had felt before."
PeachesnPain
Recovery
"I had surgical complications in 2010 that caused a great deal of blood loss. As a result, I had extremely low blood pressure and could barely stay awake. I remember feeling like I was surrounded by loved ones who had passed. They were in a circle around me and I knew they were there to guide me onwards. I told them I was not ready to go because my kids needed me and I came back."
"My nurse later said she was afraid she’d find me dead every time she came into the room."
"It took months, and blood transfusions, but I recovered."
good_golly99
Take Me Back
"Overwhelming peace and happiness. A bright airy and floating feeling. I live a very stressful life. Imagine finding out the person you have had a crush on reveals they have the same feelings for you and then you win the lotto later that day - that was the feeling I had."
"I never feared death afterward and am relieved when I hear of people dying after suffering from an illness."
rayrayrayray
Free
The Light Minnie GIF by (G)I-DLEGiphy"I had a heart surgery with near-death experience, for me at least (well the possibility that those effects are caused by morphine is also there) I just saw black and nothing else but it was warm and I had such inner peace, its weird as I sometimes still think about it and wish this feeling of being so light and free again."
TooReDTooHigh
This is why I hate surgery.
You just never know.
Shocked
Giphy"More of a near-death experience. I was electrocuted. I felt like I was in a deep hole looking straight up in the sky. My life flashed before me. Felt sad for my family, but I had a deep sense of peace."
Admirable_Buyer6528
The SOB
"Nursing in the ICU, we’ve had people try to die on us many times during the years, some successfully. One guy stood out to me. His heart stopped. We called a code, are working on him, and suddenly he comes to. We hadn’t vented him yet, so he was able to talk, and he started screaming, 'Don’t let them take me, don’t let them take me, they are coming,' he was scared and yelling."
"Then he yelled a little more, as we tried to calm him down, he screamed, 'No, No,' and gestured towards the end of the bed, and died again. We didn’t get him back. It was seriously creepy. We called his son to tell him the news, and the son said basically, 'Good, he was an SOB.'”
1-cupcake-at-a-time
Colors
"My sister died and said it was extremely peaceful. She said it was very loud like a train station and lots of talking and she was stuck in this area that was like a curtain with lots of beautiful colors (colors that you don’t see in real life according to her) a man told her 'He was sorry, but she had to go back as it wasn’t her time.'"
Hannah_LL7
"I had a really similar experience except I was in an endless garden with flowers that were colors I had never seen before. It was quiet and peaceful and a woman in a dress looked at me, shook her head, and just said 'Not yet.' As I was coming back, it was extremely loud, like everyone in the world was trying to talk all at once. It was all very disorienting but it changed my perspective on life!"
huntokarrr
The Fog
"I was in a gray fog with a girl who looked a lot like a young version of my grandmother (who was still alive) but dressed like a pioneer in the 1800s she didn't say anything but kept pulling me towards an opening in the wall. I kept refusing to go because I was so tired."
"I finally got tired of her nagging and went and that's when I came to. I had bled out during a c-section and my heart could not beat without blood. They had to deliver the baby and sew up the bleeders. refill me with blood before they could restart my heart so, like, at least 12 minutes gone."
Fluffy-Hotel-5184
Through the Walls
"My spouse was dead for a couple of minutes one miserable night. She maintains that she saw nothing, but only heard people talking about her like through a wall. The only thing she remembers for absolute certain was begging an ER nurse that she didn't want to die."
"She's quite alive and well today."
Hot-Refrigerator6583
Well let's all be happy to be alive.
It seems to be all we have.
Trying to lose weight is a struggle understood by many people regardless of size.
The goal of reaching a healthy weight may seem unattainable, but with diet and exercise, it can pay off through persistence and discipline.
Seeing the pounds gradually drop off can also be a great motivator and incentivize people to stay the course.
Those who've achieved their respective weight goals shared their experiences when Redditor apprenti8455 asked:
"People who lost a lot of weight, what surprises you the most now?"
Redditors didn't see these coming.
Shiver Me Timbers
"I’m always cold now!"
– Telrom_1
"I had a coworker lose over 130 pounds five or six years ago. I’ve never seen him without a jacket on since."
– r7ndom
"140 lbs lost here starting just before COVID, I feel like that little old lady that's always cold, damn this top comment was on point lmao."
– mr_remy
Drawing Concern
"I lost 100 pounds over a year and a half but since I’m old(70’s) it seems few people comment on it because (I think) they think I’m wasting away from some terminal illness."
– dee-fondy
"Congrats on the weight loss! It’s honestly a real accomplishment 🙂"
"Working in oncology, I can never comment on someone’s weight loss unless I specifically know it was on purpose, regardless of their age. I think it kind of ruffles feathers at times, but like I don’t want to congratulate someone for having cancer or something. It’s a weird place to be in."
– LizardofDeath
Unleashing Insults
"I remember when I lost the first big chunk of weight (around 50 lbs) it was like it gave some people license to talk sh*t about the 'old' me. Old coworkers, friends, made a lot of not just negative, but harsh comments about what I used to look like. One person I met after the big loss saw a picture of me prior and said, 'Wow, we wouldn’t even be friends!'”
"It wasn’t extremely common, but I was a little alarmed by some of the attention. My weight has been up and down since then, but every time I gain a little it gets me a little down thinking about those things people said."
– alanamablamaspama
Not Everything Goes After Losing Weight
"The loose skin is a bit unexpected."
– KeltarCentauri
"I haven’t experienced it myself, but surgery to remove skin takes a long time to recover. Longer than bariatric surgery and usually isn’t covered by insurance unless you have both."
– KatMagic1977
"It definitely does take a long time to recover. My Dad dropped a little over 200 pounds a few years back and decided to go through with skin removal surgery to deal with the excess. His procedure was extensive, as in he had skin taken from just about every part of his body excluding his head, and he went through hell for weeks in recovery, and he was bedridden for a lot of it."
– Jaew96
These Redditors shared their pleasantly surprising experiences.
Shopping
"I can buy clothes in any store I want."
– WaySavvyD
"When I lost weight I was dying to go find cute, smaller clothes and I really struggled. As someone who had always been restricted to one or two stores that catered to plus-sized clothing, a full mall of shops with items in my size was daunting. Too many options and not enough knowledge of brands that were good vs cheap. I usually went home pretty frustrated."
– ganache98012
No More Symptoms
"Lost about 80 pounds in the past year and a half, biggest thing that I’ve noticed that I haven’t seen mentioned on here yet is my acid reflux and heartburn are basically gone. I used to be popping tums every couple hours and now they just sit in the medicine cabinet collecting dust."
– colleennicole93
Expanding Capabilities
"I'm all for not judging people by their appearance and I recognise that there are unhealthy, unachievable beauty standards, but one thing that is undeniable is that I can just do stuff now. Just stamina and flexibility alone are worth it, appearance is tertiary at best."
– Ramblonius
People Change Their Tune
"How much nicer people are to you."
"My feet weren't 'wide' they were 'fat.'"
– LiZZygsu
"Have to agree. Lost 220 lbs, people make eye contact and hold open doors and stuff"
"And on the foot thing, I also lost a full shoe size numerically and also wear regular width now 😅"
– awholedamngarden
It's gonna take some getting used to.
Bones Everywhere
"Having bones. Collarbones, wrist bones, knee bones, hip bones, ribs. I have so many bones sticking out everywhere and it’s weird as hell."
– Princess-Pancake-97
"I noticed the shadow of my ribs the other day and it threw me, there’s a whole skeleton in here."
– bekastrange
Knee Pillow
"Right?! And they’re so … pointy! Now I get why people sleep with pillows between their legs - the knee bones laying on top of each other (side sleeper here) is weird and jarring."
– snic2030
"I lost only 40 pounds within the last year or so. I’m struggling to relate to most of these comments as I feel like I just 'slimmed down' rather than dropped a ton. But wow, the pillow between the knees at night. YES! I can relate to this. I think a lot of my weight was in my thighs. I never needed to do this up until recently."
– Strongbad23
More Mobility
"I’ve lost 100 lbs since 2020. It’s a collection of little things that surprise me. For at least 10 years I couldn’t put on socks, or tie my shoes. I couldn’t bend over and pick something up. I couldn’t climb a ladder to fix something. Simple things like that I can do now that fascinate me."
"Edit: Some additional little things are sitting in a chair with arms, sitting in a booth in a restaurant, being able to shop in a normal store AND not needing to buy the biggest size there, being able to easily wipe my butt, and looking down and being able to see my penis."
– dma1965
People making significant changes, whether for mental or physical health, can surely find a newfound perspective on life.
But they can also discover different issues they never saw coming.
That being said, overcoming any challenge in life is laudable, especially if it leads to gaining confidence and ditching insecurities.