People Divulge The Unspoken Rules Of Sex
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Sex is fun. That is rule #1... sex should be fun.

And it should be safe and responsible and yada yada yah.

Sex should be all of those things. And it should be something we can speak openly about.

Let's not sit around waiting for Madonna to sing about it some more, let's already implement the lessons she's espoused.

There are rules and conversations to be had, and no class in school, or book is going to be able to tell you everything.

So let's chat...

Redditor xk543x wanted to talk about sex baby.

They asked:

"What are some unspoken rules of sex?"

Try to stay as sober as possible. Not remembering due to alcohol or whatever your poison is, just feels empty.

Too Sharp

"Cut/sand down any fingernails you plan to put inside another person."


Seth Meyers Lol GIF by Late Night with Seth Meyers Giphy

Easy Motions

"To all the cowgirls out there, the penis is breakable, be a bit gentle."


"That audible pop will never leave your mind. Even after Alzheimer's riddles your brain."


"Yeah, if you're a cowgirl, grinding your hips back and forth is the motion, not bouncing up and down. If you want a thrusting motion when you're on top, lay down on top of him and let him do the work."


Bad Move Bro...

"Never tell a woman, 'oh but I didn't have an issue with this with my exes."'This was when I tried to tell him, again, but well after sex that he was just rubbing my clit wrong. He was practically jabbing it with his thumb like it was an elevator button. Every woman is different!"


"I had a guy ask my if I was enjoying myself because I wasn't moaning in that moment and 'most people are moaning more by now.' We never had sex again."



"Give them a hug and kiss afterwards. It helps."


"Depends. Could be confusing to someone just expecting casual sex and getting that... might seem like a pity hug or something. The phrasing reminds me of something Abby would encounter on Broad City to be honest."

"But yeah ~ do that when dating someone, definitely. Hug, kiss, cuddle as default. Hugging and a kiss after finishing is not a rule for sex, its a rule for 'intimate or semi-intimate partner' sex. Sex for the first time with someone and you're 'meh' about seeing them again, DO NOT hug/kiss. That is just leading the other person to believe that there is more to the encounter than what you're feeling."


Stay the Course...

"Please do not go faster/harder if you can tell I am about to finish. Do exactly what you were doing that got me there."

"Sincerely, my clitoris."


Relaxed Basketball Wives GIF by VH1 Giphy

Be confident. And be truthful. If they're doing it wrong... say it. Help the next person out.


"Don't start talking about your ex or your kids at any point in proceedings."


be quiet bbc three GIF by BBC Giphy

I'm Only Me

"Don't blame you. Being compared to other partners is rude and weird, especially in the moment. Imo, it's healthier and more enjoyable to approach sex as a fun, exploratory connection, rather than a 'if I do X, they do Y! If they do this, I get that!' So many sexual scripts are inaccurate, and they reduce the uniqueness of connecting with an individual."



"If you’re enjoying something, just enjoy it, and don’t ask them where they learned to do it."


"My wife and I are poly. One time I was going down on someone who was pretty new to the scene and I guess they were impressed because they asked 'did [wife] teach you that?' I didn't really have an answer besides '' and they just sort of seemed generally uncomfortable until we stopped a couple minutes later. They obviously ended up realizing that non-monogamy wasn't really for them and we stayed platonic friends. <3"

"Possibly TMI but I love pretty much all sex, seeing it, hearing about it, etc. but I can get why people don't want to think about partners with other people. To this day that feels like such a weird fucking question for someone in the latter category to ask during sex."


And you are?

"Don’t get their name wrong."


“'Freedom of speech does not mean freedom from consequences. You’re well within your rights to shout out another person’s name while making love to your partner… but if you don’t think there won’t be at LEAST a discussion…' - Russell Howard"



"Hygiene... that is all."


"Wash your EVERYTHING!!!"



Don't be Awkward

"Don’t ask a woman to brush her teeth after she’s given you oral sex before you’ll kiss her. She will cry. And also, she’s just had YOUR PENIS in her mouth. To be fair, 25-year-old me didn’t know he was going to lose his virginity that night, but still. Learned that one real quick. Was real awkward."


Warm Up Essential!

"Pre heat the oven don’t just shove it in."


"Always salt your pasta while boiling it."



"Never fart if a girl is giving you oral sex."


"This happened to me in college. Right when I got off. She jerked her head up from the shock wave, stench and ended up with a mess. Ol' Smelly Musket."


"This happened once and I was so embarrassed. My gf finished like a champ but she still makes fun of me."


Crowded Field

"All stuffed animals OFF the bed..They don't need to see this. (Context, I am 20f and sleep with a cuddly toy)."


academy awards stuffed animal GIF by E! Giphy


"Even when you are clean you’ll still have a natural body odor of some kind. Don’t talk about it."


"There are people out there with 'weird' odor issues, which probably should be dealt with, but yeah usually it's more like a unique smell, rather than a pleasant or unpleasant smell, and if you get negative thoughts just by smelling them, you're probably just not happy with that person."



"If you want to do something kinky that you've never done with that person, or never explicitly talked about, START SLOW! We hear the choked-out-of-nowhere horror stories surprisingly often in comments, it's always people going 0 to 100 and scaring the crap out of their partner."

"For that example, you start with like a playful, gentle grab of the neck, see how your partner responds or ask if you're not sure. Then you kinda work up in stages until you reach the limit of what's comfortable, or ideally what feels best. You know, instead of helping someone live their nightmares. I think people would be more willing to explore if these crappy experiences weren't so common."


"This is why."

"The partner that doesn't get an orgasm out of it is sooner or later going to be trying to rush through sex as quickly as possible. They won't want foreplay and they'll be happy for you to come quick."

"Why doesn't my partner want sex?"

"This is why."


Say Something

"Not a single rule should go unspoken, with the exception of mutual respect. Ask questions and make clear boundaries before, during, and after. want to try something? ask. Not comfortable with something? Tell them."


speak jimmy fallon GIF by The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon Giphy


"The unspoken rule of sex should be to SPEAK. Don’t get me wrong, a good mindless, in-the-moment, tuned to each other’s bodies session is great, but if you’re having sex with someone you care about, take the time to discuss goals, wants, needs, and anything else ahead of time. 'Here’s what I want' should be spoken by each party, so you have a clear goal, and know what to do to reach it."

"Maybe your goal is to finish and go to bed. Maybe it’s to try something new. Maybe you just want to be given oral for hours or worshipped. Maybe you want to be berated and disciplined. It opens up a world of opportunity you otherwise wouldn’t ever explore because you never discussed it."


I hope you all wrote this down, or bookmarked. Especially that last one. Sadly it's too often overlooked.

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