My mother often jokes that if/when she is finally declared the supreme leader of the world, the first thing she's going to do is outlaw chewing with your mouth open and other "offensive mouth noises" ... but the thing is, she's only half joking. If she could punish people for "offensive mouth noises" she totally would - supreme leader or not.
That got me thinking... I'm sure there are other people out there who would love to outlaw stuff that is totally legal. Reddit user notbradford actually asked about it!
What is something legal that should be illegal?
and honestly, what it boils down to is that people really, really, reeeaaaally hate being annoyed, taken advantage of, and disgusted. Can't say I blame them.
Robomarketing
Robo telemarketing!! Get called 3 times a day by a machine saying it's in reference to my credit card accounts, I don't freaking have any credit card accounts!!!!
- Merdin86
My favorite is one I started getting a few weeks ago, where they say (and this is an exact quote)
The local government agencies have filed lawsuits against you for reasons. Contact immediately to pay fines instead of facing legal consequences
I mean come on, at least put in some effort.
I had them say "there is a warrant out for your home". So apparently, since I didn't pay anything, my home has been evading the law for a few years now, and I expect it to be arrested any minute.
- ArtEclectic
Who Decides?
Insurance companies getting to decide what medication or treatments a patient can get access to. Doctors are the only people who should be deciding these things.
Pretty common in the U.S. I've had eczema (skin condition) since I was a child. It's pretty much gone away with age, but I had a little flare up this summer.
Went to the doctor and got a prescription for some cream that'll help with it (same stuff I'd used years ago) but when I went to get it filled insurance denied it, cost around $120 to pay out of pocket for it.
Insurance wants me to try another cream instead of what my doctor prescribed. I talked to my mother about it and she mentioned I had been put on the cream they wanted me to try when I was a kid and that it didn't really help back then. Which is why the doctor had been prescribing the current cream.
Yeah, I live in the US. My doctor can prescribe whatever they want, but lately more often than not, my insurance company will kick it back when I try to fill it and be like "Nah, that's too expensive, you don't actually need that."
So, then I COULD pay out of pocket if I wanted to, but the last medication I had that this happened with cost $2,780 for 8 pills. 8. Pills. I also had a 10 year long history of taking this medication with amazing results, all of which my insurance knew about and they sent me a formal letter saying, "We know you've taken this before and it helps, but we will not cover it because its too expensive."
This was not a life saving medication for me, but this happens a lot with medications that people need in order to stay alive (like insulin) and then people can't afford to pay out of pocket when their insurance says no to covering it and they end up dying. The US healthcare system is so f-ed. If you're wealthy it doesn't matter, you can pay out of pocket if you need to, (but you're likely able to afford healthcare that covers everything you could ever ask for anyway) but the system is designed specifically to screw over the poor.
IE
Giphy
Internet Explorer. It ruins my day when I click on it accidentally. Freaking piece of trash takes ages to open and close. Then there's this pop up 'Would you like to make this your default browser?'
I would rather die and have all my friends and family murdered then make it my default browser.
"Free" Trials
Free trials that auto charge when they run out.
I signed up for one once, it was a one month trial for a subscription box, 20 days later the box still hadn't shipped, but a charge was placed on my account.
I went to the website and sure enough in tiny print on the bottom of the page it said "subscription auto renews 10 days before the start of the next month."
Kind of a dick move, and I hadn't even received the box yet. I went to customer service and tried to get them to reverse the charge and they just sent me auto responses. But waited a while to send them? Website also wouldn't let me cancel the subscription.
10 days later 2 boxes arrived, in a single package, revealing this was the plan all along.
I called them and the person on the other end of the phone wouldn't do anything, wouldn't even cancel the subscription.
Ended up calling my bank and requesting a chargeback, explained the situation to them and they were able to reverse the charge and block future charges from that company.
A month later I received a third box, since the company was blocked from charging me it wasn't charged to my account.
Then I got an angry email from the company saying I must return the box, on my dime.
I emailed them back "lol"
Public Bathroom Bandits
The state some people leave public bathrooms in should somehow be illegal. I mean, whoever is wiping poo on the wall should at least be fined.
Fake Tips
Leaving those fake 20/50/100 dollar bill pamphlets at a tip. You are a literal piece of trash if you do that to someone.
- dc5trbo
I used to be a server. And it never failed that during Sunday brunch I'd get the church group. There was always at least one jerk that would leave those bills as my tip. On more than one occasion members of this group told me I should be ashamed of myself for working on the Lord's day.
...Seriously? They came to a restaurant on Sunday and just expected the staff to be what - ..machines or ghosts or something? Or were they counting on being served by blasphemous individuals?
Ad Sounds
Playing noises like ringtones, vehicle sirens and doorbells on the radio ads. It pisses me off!
I hate cop sirens in songs or on radio ads. Always start looking around frantically wondering where the cop came from.
- lvl5Loki
Baby crying has been making me go crazy lately, and my local radio station has at least 3 commercials that have it...
- AcheeCat
There used to be a drunk driving ad in Canada that was just 30 seconds of a baby crying alone in a crib, the premise being that a drunk had killed the mother. I can remember sitting in a room with two guys and three women, and that ad had come on for the second time in about 15 minutes and all three ladies got up and cleared out of the room.
Put It Back!
Leaving cold stuff at the grocery store just anywhere random when you don't want it. Put it back! The store, especially during a rush, doesn't have magic elves to run around and put your crap back for you. ESPECIALLY NOT if you hide it behind something like a jerk.
Unless the item was already out of date or damaged, leaving it out of the cooler to spoil is just wasting it for no reason.
Do I come to your house and leave your lunchmeat out in the hot house all day without putting it back? Do I hide your lunchmeat in your cupboard so you won't know I was too lazy to put it back in the fridge? No, no I don't.
Rejection Notice
Company's not responding to you after you go in for a job interview. I don't understand why it's acceptable for these places to bring you in for an interview, then if you don't get the job you will just never hear from them again. It's honestly kind of unprofessional in my opinion.
I'm not asking for a real person to reach out to everybody who didn't make the cut. But an automated email or phone call telling me I didn't get the job would be nice rather than having me sit around for several weeks wondering if I'm gonna hear back or not so I can move on with my life. It should be required that company's send some kind of rejection notice to the people who didn't make it.
Littering Into My House
Putting things through my letterbox other than my mail. I'm talking about pizza menus, adverts for double glazing salesmen, psychic readings etc. Stop littering into my house - sometimes I'll get home and there's a whole stack of this garbage.
On Several Notes
On a severe note: Child marriage is still a thing in the US and a lot of folks don't realize it.
On a medium note: Banks charging you money when you don't have enough in your account.
On a softer note: Manhattan chowder.
Troubling Taxes
Being poor and paying more in taxes than some billionaires.
Tax write-offs for high net worth individuals. The 1% of the 1% really don't like to pay their debts to the government.
- qyjq
Zombie Debt
Debt collectors harassing people to collect debt that has past the statute of limitations, as well as the debt of deceased loved ones. Zombie debt is nasty, and debt collectors will go through any means to get people to pay, even if they no longer have to or if the debt isn't theirs.
Eminent Domain Killed The Pickle Factory
Eminent domain.
- You own something.
- The government wants it (or wants someone else to have it).
- the government says "it's for the public good", and they take it.
- They pay you pennies on the dollar for it's value, even though you didn't want to sell it.
The current Colts stadium in Indianapolis was built that way. Used to be a pickle factory on part of that property. But the city of Indianapolis valued 1 private business (the Colts) over another (the pickle factory). So the colts got a new stadium... Across the street from their old stadium.
Fossil Fuels Are Over
Manufacturing any device that burns fossil fuels.
Even Exxon knew since the 70's what it causes. Homeowners cannot buy insurance against floods in many places or wildfires in California now as the danger is beginning to outpace premiums. We will be completely on our own against real peril.
So power stations should have been replaced with clean energy, engines in cars, ships, planes, lawnmowers should have been required to be replaced with clean energy, such as electric motors, etc. Same with heating and cooking, only non fossil energy burning technologies should be legal - like heat pumps, induction stoves.
Bullet Dodged
My ex cheated on me and married his cousin. Bullet dodged, but cousin marriage is not illegal where he's from.
Declawing
Declawing cats (it's already illegal some places but it should be illegal EVERYWHERE)!
Cats scratch; that is what they do, and if you don't like it then don't get a cat.
Declawing is the removal of the first bone of the paw and it can be painful and debilitating for the cat long term.
Imagine if you had the first bone removed from all your fingers!
Social Media Permission
Social media companies being able to use your pictures for promotional reasons without your permission.
For example, there was a pretty recent thing where a YouTuber named Cody Ko had videos from his TikTok account, which was private, being used for TikTok ads. So even though his account and all the videos on it were private, TikTok was still able to access them and repurpose them for their own promotional reasons and it was all totally legal.
- eDgAR
Non-medial Exemptions
Being able to not vaccinate your kids when they are not allergic to the vaccines. For some reason, this form of child abuse is legal.
- Ecoli42
Some people are allergic to vaccines or otherwise can't get them for medical reasons. Those people are the very reason anti-vaxxing should be illegal. Their lives depend on herd immunity, when parents choose not to vaccinate, herd immunity wears down and puts those who cannot be vaccinated at risk.
Jehovahs witnesses not letting their children get blood transfusions to save their lives. It's "sinful" in their eyes.
A friend of mine's parents were part of a church that forbids blood transfusions, when she was injured and needed blood, her father approved it and when questioned said "Well I said they could, so its my sin, not hers. And God will have to sort out whether the sin of it outdoes the responsibility He gave me to protect my children the best I am able."
They were kicked out of their church, which is how they ended up at ours.
- SeaOkra
Creeping On Kids
Giphy
1.Using Binoculars to look at parks or schools.
2. Taking pictures of children without permission from them and their parents/guardians.
No Tolerance
"No tolerance" fighting policy for schools. You don't see a judge sending someone who survived a murder to jail for getting stabbed or shot. It's unfair that even if you didn't do anything to that person you still get suspended for being "involved." Just get punched in the face and then you get suspended for doing what? Getting punched in the face? It's ridiculous.
Timeshares
Timeshares. The fees are perpetual, even after paying the loan. They are very difficult to get rid of, and most people who buy them do so after incredibly high pressure sales and tactics.
- Asti_
And while a candidate is fit to lead remains to be seen, we rely on our instinct to choose someone with whom we can relate.
But sometimes, our options are limited and we inevitably go with someone who is the lesser of two evils.
Curious to hear from strangers online about a hypothetical, Redditor Cashmeresquid2309 asked:
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for an openly Atheist presidential candidate? Why or why not?"
Redditors were quick to point out the answer was a no-brainer.
We Already Know The Answer
"Asking Reddit if they'd vote for an atheist..."
"I feel like the answer would be obvious."
– sarahmagoo
Sci-Fi Analogy
"Americans of Reddit, would you vote for a Star Wars fan who heckin loves doggos?"
– WitnessChemical
For The Atheists In The Crowd
"Atheists of atheistville, would you vote for an open atheist?"
– nixcamic
Others weighed in with a range of opinions.
About 45
"What's funny is how many of them would probably say no, even though they voted for Trump and would do so again. Say whatever else you want about him, but I seriously can't understand how anyone could genuinely believe Trump is a Christian. He's so obviously faking it and is undoubtedly the most atheistic president we've ever had or are likely to have for a long time."
"This is a guy who's never even so much as read the Bible or attended church, who told a conservative radio host his favorite Bible verse was 'an eye for an eye', who told evangelical interviewers that he's never asked God for forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong, and who routinely commits all 7 deadly sins (pride, greed, wrath, envy, lust, gluttony and sloth) without remorse."
– empfindsamkeit
From A Different Perspective
"Not an american but interestingly according to this survey on 1006 people from 2007, being atheist was the worst thing you could be as a candidate (of the things asked) with only 45 % of people saying they'd vote for one."
– ilovecatfish
An atheist candidate isn't necessarily a big strike.
Double Negative
"I wouldn’t not vote for someone just because they were atheist."
– HabitualEnthusiast
Credibility First
"This is it. If they’re running on platforms I support with a history to back up those campaign promises, I don’t care if they belong to the church of the flying spaghetti monster. They could literally be a member of the satanic temple and I, an actual practicing Christian, would give less shi*s than a constipated sloth."
"Edit: yes, I realize the Satanic Temple does not actually worship satan. I used it for that purpose. The Church of Satan has some…problematic views and I probably would not vote for someone who literally holds a platform of eugenics."
– Phoenix_of_Asclepius
Some view the role of religion in politics as important.
It Depends
"Religion can be relevant: I would have strong reservations about voting for a Scientologist, even if I agreed with the policies they proposed. I would have strong reservations voting for a member of an apocalyptic cult or, possibly worse, a follower of the (highly heretical) 'prosperity gospel,' which unfortunately includes more and more so-called 'evangelicals' — I didn't vote for George W. Bush, but it's not because he was an evangelical."
"It depends on the role: I'd probably be more flexible with a legislator than an executive (mayor, governor, president), as their character is IMO more important than for a legislator and their policy stances somewhat less important relative to a legislator."
"Satanic temple — well, that's just an organized group of atheists and humanists with an intentionally inflammatory choice of name. They're generally fine people."
– alyssasaccount
A Bad Rap
"The Satanic Temple is an excellent organization that every decent person should be able to respect. A Church of Satan member, not so much."
"There's a huge difference between them!"
– StarsEatArtBooks
And Redditor boganvegan said it best.
"Better an open atheist than a fake Christian."
It all boils down to trustworthiness. Without full transparency, how could anyone put their faith in a candidate who spews nothing but lies?
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I'm always freaked out when I'm home alone. Lights on. Yeah, my electric bill is high.
Dorothy?
Wind Conan Obrien GIF by Team CocoGiphy"I dreamed the front door blew open at the exact time the house alarm went off... I hopped up and sure enough, the front door was open. No intruder."
fatowl
I See You
"Not home alone but only one in right side of the house. Went to my mom's bathroom to wash my hands and saw a pair of feet behind the half open door. Laughed and said 'very funny Ma, I see you.' then finished up and left. Bumped into my mother in the kitchen unpacking, nobody else was in the house. I'm glad whatever was behind the door didn't peek out."
SatanWithFur
“It’s Doug!”
"One night I had forgotten to lock my apartment door and woke up in the middle of the night. My bedroom door was about 2 feet from my front door, as you walked into the apartment. First a big dog ran by, then a person. Holy crap I was so scared and I screeched 'Who is it?!?!!'"
"A man said 'It’s Doug!' As I was thinking to myself, who the f**k is Doug, he said 'oh, crap.' He turned around to go back out the front door saying 'Sorry.' I asked 'Didn’t you have a dog with you?' He said 'Oh, yeah. Hey, c’mon!.' He left, his dog ran out after him and I locked my front door."
"Edit: glad you all thought this was funny, because I did too, once my heart quit trying to beat right out of my chest! The next day the girls at work thought I was crazy for not being upset, but eh, done is done. Peace!"
scarletohairy
Confused...
"My sister and I were home alone and we heard someone big running up the stairs. The stairs make lots of noise with slight pressure so when there’s someone big on them you can tell. I went out of my room to check but saw no one anywhere and my sister also came out of her room and she asked if that was me I said no and we both looked around to see if there was anyone but found no one in the whole house. We were confused and called our parents and just waited until they got back and that was that."
JtSudbury04
I See You
Staring I See You GIF by QuikTripGiphy"I very clearly saw a guy walk into my room. But when I went after him there was nobody there. I checked in the closet, under my bed, everywhere one could hide in my room."
HighlyOffensive10
This is why home video surveillance is key.
"NO"
Season 5 No GIF by The OfficeGiphy"My parents were on a road trip, just left, and I sat down at my desk. I thought 'Weekend alone by myself' and a voice yelled into my right ear 'NO' so loud it hurt."
Th4ab
Wild
"I managed to lock myself out of my house on my birthday during a tornado while trying to bring my cats to the basement for safety. I later found out that the tornado was approximately a couple miles or less from me at that exact time. The sky was green and it got weirdly calm and then I could hear what sounded like a train coming before I found an unlocked window to climb through. Wild times."
SilverGnarwhal
Saturday morning in the 80s...
"I wasn't home alone but I was awake by myself one Saturday morning in the 80s when I was around 7 or so. I believe my mom was the only one home because my dad went to the lake to go fishing that weekend, and I'm not sure where my older brothers were, maybe they went with him, idk."
"Anyways, my mom's sleeping in, and I'm in the living room by myself, watching Saturday morning cartoons and making a fort out of sheets and cushions. Something made me turn around and I saw my dad in his pajamas standing in the hallway entrance with his hands on his hips, looking the mess I was making and shaking his head."
"He then turned around and walked into my room, which was just off the hallway entrance. Dude. I didn't even look, I just booked it to my parents room and woke my mom up. I don't remember what happened after that, this was around 35 years ago. And yes, my dad was fine, nothing had happened to him."
smriversong
Get the Bat...
"I was at home by myself on a call with some friends when all of a sudden my dog begins to bark like crazy, which was odd since it was the middle of the night and he's usually sleep. I go downstairs to check on him and find him barking at our hall closet, terrified I grabbed my bat that I keep in my room just in case and open the door. There was nothing out of usual at first at then I look down and notice a familiar looking object at the bottom of the closet."
"It was my mom's necklace she had lost when I was 9, (i'm 15 now just to put in perspective how long it's been). I showed it to my mom at breakfast and she was just as shocked as I was. I still have no clue how it got there or how my dog knew it was in there, definitely one of the oddest occurrences of my life."
SomeRandomIdiot14
Meow
Happy Cat GIF by ChubbiverseGiphy"Many years ago, I was 14 or so, my first night alone in the house when my parents were out. Lying on the living room floor reading, my cat sleeping next to me."
"Suddenly, cat wakes up, stares intently into the dark corner of the room behind me, hair on end, growls and then bolts out of the room and upstairs. I look behind me and see nothing, but follow cat upstairs and hide under the covers. Freaked me out."
LairdofWingHaven
Thank God for alarms. I hate being home alone.
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The body freaks me out. But it's all I've got. So teach me some things.
Minutes...
death GIFGiphy"The fastest killing virus takes around 4 days to kill you. That would be Ebola. Your immune system can kill you in 15 minutes."
will477
'locked-in'
"If your brainstem (the part of the brain that mediates most motor control for all of the body) is damaged, you can get 'locked-in' syndrome. That means you're fully conscious and aware of your surroundings but unable to move or speak. The only muscles that remain unaffected in most people are the muscles that move they eyes and the eyelids."
"You're essentially trapped within your own body with your only way of communication being blinking or moving your eyes It can be caused by toxins, blockage of the basilar artery which is the main artery of the brainstem, or other brainstem damage."
4oodler
Explosions
"Some people suffer from Exploding Head Syndrome, which causes them to hear a loud bang when they wake up."
ToraMix19
"When I was younger I believe I experienced this a few times. Sounds I heard were: about a million people talking and laughing all at once, a train that irl would've been about a foot away from me based on the volume of the sound, and a door slamming loudly."
aliaisacreature
Pain
"Not sure if this is by design, but I totaled my car once, almost completely uninjured somehow. Then I looked down to my right hand which I remember jabbing into my dashboard at 55mph. Luckily (unluckily?) only my pinky took the blow. But instead of a floppy-udder full of bone-sand, my pinky was 0.5 inches long."
"Broke no bones, but instead perfectly stacked my phalanges, or finger bones, INTO my hand. This is fixed by a muscular Russian murse grabbing your pinky with both hands and pulling very hard. God I wish they gave me more lidocaine."
TelevisionOlympics
Functions
animation art GIFGiphy"If you have a surgery where they need to move your organs around they might not function for a day as the body assumes that they are dead."
tonythebutcher13
Move things around? You mean that's not fake when it happens on "Grey's Anatomy?"
Basketball Wives Ugh GIF by VH1"The only reason you are not aware of it is because the ambient noise kind of drowns it out because your ears focus on it. If you go to one of those super-silent rooms that absorb all sorts of sounds, it is a really weird way to reacquaint yourself with your body."
Black_Handkerchief
The Mouth
"Idk about the most disturbing but how bad human teeth are. We’d think it’s our sugary and processed diets these days that cause it, but even Otzi the iceman discovered in Italy was found to have terrible teeth, mouth diseases and cavities. It’s odd that even with the most basic of diets our teeth are so bad."
Dorianisconfused
In the bowels...
"I noticed this after my abdominal surgery. When I turned over in bed my guts seemed to fall from one side to the other. Mentioned to my doc and she confirmed it was my bowels rearranging themselves."
squatter_
"Apparently the doctor just throws your intestines back in there higgeldy-piggeldy because there isn't a correct way to pack them neatly."
LostDesigner9
A Quick Burst
"There are a vast number of ways that your body can malfunction and kill you with little or no warning. An aneurysm can go undetected until it bursts and kills you. Getting hit in the chest just the right way can stop your heart. You can encounter an allergen that never previously provoked an immune response that freaks out your body so badly that you die. You literally just never know if your body will just... die."
Unsolicited_Spiders
The body is such a conundrum. Sexy and gross all at once.
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