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People Describe The Home Design Trends They Find Terrible

People Describe The Home Design Trends They Find Terrible
Roselyn Tirado/Unsplash

If you've ever watched an HGTV show like Fixer Upper, Flip or Flop, or Property Brothers, you've probably seen the trends in design that come and go throughout the years.

Some of them look absolutely stunning but end up being inefficient, expensive, and sometimes down right useless.

The trends are a flash in the pan in the fast paced home buying market because people find out how terrible they really are in practice. We went to Reddit to find out exactly which ones were the worst.

Redditor wazzel2u asked:

"What is a terrible trend found in new home design?"

These are honestly just laughable.

Going in the open.

"Open concept bathrooms."

"I don't need to see you taking a dump from my bed."

- 02K30C1

"My dad has a huge bathroom that's open concept and has high ceilings, like the toilet is surrounded by nothing for a solid six to ten feet in all directions but the one where it's backed against the wall. I don't know why but there is some deeply buried primal instinct that comes out when I use that bathroom, I feel panicked. Like my lizard brain is screaming, 'Don't sh*t out in the open you're going to get eaten by a bear.' I hate it. It's unnatural."

- mandy_skittles

"A someone who lives in Alaska this fear is not unsubstantiated. Its also a reason to carry around deterrent like a high power firearm in to the bathroom... which comes out handy too when the bear steals the poop knife."

- Traumatized-Educator

"And In contrast, vanity and bathtub open to the bedroom, but the toilet is in a tiny stall that isn't even big enough to put an extra roll of TP in."

- helena_handbasketyyc

Hollow doors.

"Hollow interior doors that don't keep sound out from within the house and hallways - especially hollow bedroom doors when you're trying to sleep."

- Back2Bach

"I just purchased another home and one of the first things I did before making an offer was 'door inspection.' Having solid exterior AND interior doors is important to me. I would say it's more of a builder cost cutting measure rather than a trend though."

- TickTacWhat

"You know, this kind of thing perplexes me. So often I find people make changes to up the value that I think are ugly or irrelevant, but a serious QoL upgrade like good doors gets ignored? I don't understand people's home priorities man."

- Qadim3311

"As an appraiser, we look at the overall general condition and quality of a home. Things like doors and windows certainly don't go unnoticed, however, there's no real difference to the average buyer between types of doors. People mainly look at what condition they're in and are they functional."

"Now, if we're talking high end homes, then the quality of finishes really matter, including building materials. I've started adding solid doors as a personal preference as well, but I'm doing it for my own comfort, not for added value."

- Purposefulpurple

Storage is a must.

"Lack of storage space. Just bought a new home and didn't realize how little space there was. We have one storage closet upstairs. That's it."

- A_Bit_Off_Kilter

"It's so weird - I grew up in a place with snow - so these were critical and in every home (even new construction as of 6 years ago) but I live in warm climate now and have no use for it - since we don't need to shed layers and snow covered boots - so they don't have those here. Never really gave thought to it until you said that."

- cantwaitforthis

"Absolutely this! The house I just moved out of had zero storage aside from bedroom closets. It was something we didn’t notice when purchasing, but sure did when moving in. Luckily the house I’ll be moving into very soon has a good deal of storage space."

- Annhl8rX

"One of the 'games' I play when watching house hunters is 'where do you keep the vacuum cleaner?'"

- tjdux

Mullet houses.

"Go to a high end gated community development ($800k - 2M price points in my area) front of the homes is beautiful stone, brick, etc., but on the back every house has cheap ugly vinyl siding all the same color as far as the eye can see. I never understood this since you actually spend time in the back yard not the front."

- MisterSolid

"Mullet houses. Business in front. Vinyl in the back."

- Express_Simple9726

"It's obviously a cost saving measure. Typical on McMansions where they want to sell you as much house as they can without spending too much building it."

- PD216ohio

The TV is too high.

"I really don't like the fireplace design where you are intended to put your TV over it. A TV is way too high when over the fireplace."

- 0rangePolarBear

"This is why I don't like fireplaces in general. Most people who don't live in areas where fireplaces are functional don't even use their them more than once a year. Despite this, if your living room has a fireplace, it pretty much determines the layout of the whole room with almost no flexibility."

"Every TV I've seen mounted over a mantle has made my neck hurt just seeing it for the first time, but it would look stupid to put a couch in front of it, so basically there's no good options if you have a fireplace."

- Revenge_of_the_Khaki

The bedroom is not big enough.

"Bedrooms that are only juuuuust big enough for a double or queen bed and a nightstand."

- makovince

"But they use that extra space upstairs for a 'loft' that no one is going to f*cking use."

"My house was built in 2006 and has what can only be described as a 'proto-loft.' The upstairs bedrooms are still a decent size, but there is what was described in the real estate listing as a 'nook' that’s just big enough to fit a couple of chairs that will never feel the warmth of a human a**."

- b-minus

Too many rooflines.

"I don't like it when they have like ten different rooflines that are only a foot or two deep. Are they hoping it looks like an older house that's had many add-ons done?"

- LeonardGhostal

"My brother's house has this and my god the leaking and drainage problems it has! His siding is rotting away from it."

- Coconut-bird

"One thing it does is hide shoddy workmanship. It's a lot harder to see that the framing isn't straight or the cheap materials are sagging if there are no flat surfaces more than 10-12 feet long."

- katlian

People Explain Activities They've Added To Their Post-Pandemic Bucket List | George Takei’s Oh Myyy

While we've all been cooped up for the better part of two years, many of us have been dreaming up exciting plans for the future. Maybe it's finally time to s...

Cookie-cutter layouts.

"The grotesque housing developments of the same like 4 models and 3 colors with no trees. Not to mention the houses are built like sh*t. The terribly inefficient road layout with a million cul de sacs."

- Individual-Text-1805

"Cookie-cuttervilles."

- valkyriespice

"Exactly. They're all the same and all soulless. There's a liminality to them. Something about them is so creepy and completely unnatural."

- Individual-Text-1805

The barn door trend.

"Barn doors are so stupid. It's a heavier, more expensive, harder to open door. And then it still has a public bathroom-style gap that eliminates actual privacy."

- mywifemademegetthis

"We had one of these for the bathroom door in our freaking hotel room one time. Guess what happened when someone took a shower? The ENTIRE room filled up with steam and felt like a rainforest."

- neko_brand

"They're fine for a closet, but it's horrible for something like a bathroom because of the gap. Give me a pocket door over a barn door any day."

- s404064

A garage made for two... kind of.

"Garages that fit two medium sized cars with about one inch to spare."

- kryppla

"...in Texas where nobody owns medium sized cars"

- havereddit

"I tell people we have a one and seven-eighths car garage."

- west-egg

Never enough secret doors.

"The lack of secret bookshelf doors. I mean, who designs their custom home and does not Include a bookshelf secret door? People design houses for a reason, and that reason should be secret doors."

- foxsable

"Heck yes! This is my plan: we're planning on doing an addition in a few years, and I'm totally including a secret bookshelf door to my office and other cool hide-a-ways. I want some whimsy and adventure in my life and I freaking love escape rooms!"

- kc2sunshine

More room for washing up.

"Most sinks are absolutely terrible. Looking better is nice, but not at the expense of hitting your hand on the bowl every time you wash your hands."

- zed910

"The sink in the utility room at my grandparents house was amazing. Grandad was like 6'4 in his prime, with a crazy wingspan. He said when they added that part of the house (utility room and attached greenhouse, it's dope as all hell tbh) he bought the deepest sink he could find so he would have room to actually wash his entire forearms after gardening. It's like a restaurant sink. It's magnificent."

- lovelylayout

The affordability.

"Not being able to afford one."

- NotSoGreatOldOne

"This bothers the hell out of me."

"My parents bought their home for 2x what my father earned annually, in a good suburb of the state's capitol. His salary wasn't particularly high or anything, pretty average for its time."

"Where can I buy a house for 2x my annual salary? Literally nowhere in the country. Not even the sh*ttiest, most desolate and remote places have a house I can buy for that price range."

- Richard_D_Glover

"My parents asked me and my husband the other day why we hadn’t bought a home yet. When I said we couldn’t afford one they point to our combined salary of $75k and said we should be able to afford a lovely house in a nice neighborhood, maybe even some land. They went on to explain that they had bought their first house (in the 80’s) for $70k and that it had been a very nice 3 bedroom home with a little land. I tried explaining that where I live falling apart crack-dens are being listed upwards of $150k. They just kept saying we weren’t looking hard enough. The older generations are just soooo out of touch these days."

- MrWhite_Sucks

"My dad and I had this discussion last night. His dad bought his 5 bedroom house for 1.5x his yearly salary. My dad bought his 4 bedroom house for 6x his yearly salary. For me to (maybe) buy a 1 bedroom or 2 bedroom apartment in the same city I will have to pay 22x of my yearly salary."

- wanderingsteph

Words are not meant for walls.

"Live laugh love."

- patronsaintofshinies

"OMG. WORDS do not belong on walls! It's like somebody went to Michael's crafts and decorated their home. EAT. 'Kitchen'. 'Wash your hands'. Any iteration of 'In this house....'. I loathe that trend."

- Whats4dinner

White on white on white on...

"All white, white carpet, white furniture, white f*cking shiplap."

- Defcheze

"I blame Joanna Gaines for all the shiplap. I don't think I've seen a single house they've done that doesn't have it."

- nachobitxh

"The shiplap has to be done right or it doesn’t hold up over time. We looked at a house with ship lap and you could see every knot in the wood through the white paint. It would have driven me nuts. The floors were really dark and we could see every scratch and ding in them."

- librachick104

Open shelves.

"I don't know if it's new new, but it drives me crazy when people replace cabinetry with open shelves."

"Don't people understand dust? Bugs ring a bell? Pet hair? Speaking of pets, how do you keep your cats from messing around with that setup?"

- lyan-cat

"Where the f do you cram all the crap that lives on your counter, when company comes unexpectedly? Cabinet doors, people!"

- UsernameObscured

"CA here, earthquakes. Do you enjoy suddenly having a pile of broken glass?"

- OurLadyOfTheChickens

Whether it's open concept bathrooms or a lack of storage, there's a lot that goes into finding a home that is functional and fashionable.

If you're looking into your next home, really take a good look at what you're getting into. Is it functional? Or is it just a bad trend.

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People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

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Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
work

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty