But sometimes, that's not always a good thing if your house guest is a slob.
Growing up, there was always a house rule everyone respected.
Everyone would take their shoes off and wear provided slippers before walking onto the carpet. It was just common courtesy in our culture.
So when I was in college, and I had friends over one night – and well – lets' just say it didn't go well. More on that later.
Curious to hear from strangers about their rude house guests, Redditor xxHEYxx asked:
"What's the most disrespectful thing a guest ever did in your home?"
Some of the things these house guests did were so wretched, they were neither seen nor heard from again.
Stealing Milk Was The Least Of The Problems
"Had my girlfriend, and another now exfriend come over to my house.. My grandmother on my mom's side lived with us at the time. She had advanced alzheimers, and could only communicate with basic phrases. She was so bad, she would pat people on their backs and say 'good, good, good.' She also walked around with a zip lock bag of Q-tips that she would hand out as gifts.. Anyways, on this evening, said friend decided it would be funny to pants her in front of me and my girlfriend... He was promptly punched in the face and told to leave before he got hurt. I was shocked and enraged by the disrespect he showed my family, and my ill grandmother. Been 20 years and still have nothing to do with him. This guy was also the friend that would open our fridge and actually drink directly from our milk..."
– cliffy80
Permanently Banned
"A friend of a friend crashed a party at our house. He proceeded to tell everyone that he was a drug dealer and he could get them the best product. He hit on all of the married women who had not brought their husbands, punched the friend who brought him and drove home, drunk and high. He is the only person I have banned from my house."
– Cowhaus
"Damn Cockroach"
"My sister use to stop over, drink my beer, steal my wife's clothes, make a mess, then leave. We changed the locks so she'd steal my parents key to get in so we stopped giving them one and somehow she'd still get in, like a damn cockroach. We have since moved far out of her visiting range."
These people could not keep their DNA to themselves.
Skid Marks
"Dude came over, apparently sh*t his pants and threw his heavily skid marked underwear in with my dirty laundry pile. I found my dog chewing on his underwear the next morning."
Contaminated Cake
"The couple sat down at a table with a cake (which hadnt been served it) took each a fork and started to eat it, not cutting the cake into a piece for themselves, but going back and forth with forks to mouths and to cake, smacking and slurping. Nobody else wanted any cake."
Snot Very Nice
"Blew his nose on a tissue and then just threw it on the floor. Worst thing is, he expected me to pick it up for him."
When people destroy things – including relationships – after being welcomed into a person's home, they should never expect another invite ever again.
Drug Addiction
"A 'friend' asked to stay with me for a few days because she was having relationship problems. Turns out the relationship problems were all down to the fact she had a massive drug habit and her boyfriend was fed up of her spending all their money on it. The first night she invited 5 people who I didn't know round after I'd gone to bed and I had work the next day. Then she just disappeared for 3 days and went on a bender, I had her boyfriend calling me worried sick and nobody knew where she was. When she finally turned up she called me a sh**ty friend for not covering for her. She didn't even ask me to! Yeah we're not friends anymore."
– dd2487
No More Toys
"Had some friends in middle school come over and smash up all the Lego sets in my room then wondered why I didn't want them to come over again."
Ruined Carpet
"Neighbor's kid came in with dirt all over his feet and then wiped them on the carpet. Never did get the stain out."
– kwaters1
So, back when I was in a college marching band, I tried to fit in as most freshmen did back then.
When our drum major couldn't find a place to have a house party, I happily offered my place – without consulting my parents.
It happened to coincide on the night my parents were out and I had the place to myself. So my buddies came over with cases of beer...and their muddy shoes.
I didn't have it in me to inconvenience them by asking to abide by the no shoes house policy.
Of course, my parents came home early and witnessed the travesty. The place was a mess, and I had to cover for the professional carpet cleaning later.
But you know what? I became the popular freshman in the band. At least for that month. Yeah, I do not miss my college years.
Many of them recalled having unexpected visitors. Not all of them were human.
It Was A Hoot
The Lion King Reaction GIFGiphy"I was woken from a deep sleep by the most horrifying high pitched howling noise. We lived deep in a wooded area, and I was familiar with sounds like foxes barking or even fisher cats screaming, but this was eerie and didn't sound like an animal. Then it came from the other side of the house, but there was no sound of anything walking. You know how your mind isn't really logical when you first wake? I was convinced it was some terrible otherworldly creature."
"In the morning I checked some online recordings of sounds to figure it out. Turned out to be a tiny harmless screech owl. Little guy can make some demonic sounds tho!"
Unexpected Visitors
"I was taking a nap in my apartment under blankets in my bed when I hear the door open. Thinking it's my husband, I ignore it. But about five minutes later, I hear several female voices. I'm thinking I'm dreaming so again, I ignore it. The voices get louder and suddenly my bedroom door opens."
"I freak out and bolt upright in bed. Three women were in my apartment: 2 young, 1 older. I shriek! They shriek! They run out of my apartment!"
"It turned out that the management company showed the wrong apartment available for rent that day. I got an apology and a bouquet of flowers."
The Boom
"I was maybe 11 or 12 and was home alone one winter day. The desktop computer I was using shared a wall with our (unheated) garage. The house was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. All of a sudden this boom erupted from the garage that shook the wall, it honestly sounded like a bomb went off. 20 minutes later, after hiding behind the couch and getting my heart rate down I finally went to inspect."
"A 2 liter sprite bottle had frozen and exploded off the shelf."
Man In The Window
"I was probably about 12, newly allowed to be home alone for a couple hours over the summer. A man was walking through my fenced in backyard, walked right onto my deck to the back window. My dog was going nuts barking with her hair standing up. I had no way out of the house or to the phone without this man seeing me in the window. So I'm hiding behind the couch waiting for him to break in when I see him exit my yard through the gate. I immediately call my mom almost in tears and she said 'oh I forgot to tell you the gas meter guy was coming.' Of course the gas meter is right next to the window my brother and I always used to 'break in' to our own house when we forgot our keys. My dog was the only bada** that day.."
A Forgotten Delivery
"I was about 9. My mom and I were babysitting my younger cousins at their house, and my mom ran to the store real quick. Before she left, she ordered a pizza.I don't know the exact details. I think she thought She would be back before the pizza came, but she wasn't. My mom And I lived in a rural area, so we never had a pizza be delivered, so I guess I just forgot it was coming.. So I was alone with a two and a four year old, and all of a sudden this dude starts banging on the door. I hid with them behind the couch. He kept banging and banging for quite a while. I guess he went to leave, and that's when my mom came home. We were so scared!"
– Smippity
"Furbys suck."
"I was babysitting a family I was unfamiliar with. My parents knew them and suggested me when they needed a babysitter and as I liked having money, I accepted. The kids go to bed and I kill time as one does before smartphones are a thing by...reading I think? Maybe doing homework, but that seems unlikely."
"Anyways, I start to hear speaking from another room. Not just speaking, but this low, almost demonic voice speaking to another one. I'm not a religious sort, but when you realize that no, you're not just hearing things there's definitely a voice it's more then a little creepy."
"Not knowing what was going on, I slowly crept up to the doorway of the sitting room, then peered around the corner."
"F'KING FURBYS. TALKING TO EACH OTHER. AT NIGHT. IN THE DARK."
"Furbys suck."
– calette
toys GIFGiphyThe Stranger
"The first night alone at my new house, a dude tried scouting around my home looking for a way in. I flipped on all the lights and ran downstairs as loudly as I could holding a plastic tomahawk in one hand, and my phone dialing 911 in the other. He never actually got inside the house, but it was terrifying especially since it was literally my first night of living on my own."
A Bad Reflection
"Growing up we had large old mirror with a thick wood frame leaning against the wall in our hallway. I was doing some homework in the kitchen but got up to get something from the living room. The hallway is the connecting room between the two. So I passed through it, picked up whatever I needed in the living room, turned around and was on my way back ....and that old mirror is broken on the floor. IT'S SHATTERED. Pieces everywhere. As if it had EXPLODED. It was completley fine when I passed it just seconds before. I didnt hear it break."
"I just kind of walked by it and headed out the kitchen door. Scared the sh*t out of me."
Moving Out Fast
"Was in the shower when I heard the door to my apartment being unlocked. Husband wasn't due back for several hours. Turns out it was the skeevy building manager snooping around people's apartments when he thought they were not home. Reported him to the company that own the building but nothing ever came of it. Moved out shortly after."
Meowwww...
Not Safe For Work No GIFGiphy"I was house sitting for some family. They neglected to mention that their cat knows how to open doors.
I learned this at 2AM when the bedroom door flung open."
Not So LOL
"I once lived in a building where the realtor got a little too comfortable not informing me of showings and just letting himself in. My girlfriend and I were in the bedroom getting busy and I heard voices in the kitchen say, hi we're here. My buddies were around using my laundry machine so I just yelled, yea so what, busy in here. I then hear the realtors voice say my name. We toss on clothes and open the bedroom door to a family of three staring back at us. Young me was just embarrassed. Now me would have been livid. No matter tho as we had some good laughs afterwards."
- alxx11
The Sellers
"When I was in college I lived in the upstairs apartment of a house. The owners we're trying to sell the house so realtors would come by with potential buyers, but I was never notified of these times. The people downstairs were supposed to let me know. I was napping once and woke up to people coming into my room. After that I would turn on my magnetic alarm so it would go off when the door was opened and off when closed. It wasn't a pleasant way to wake up, but better than people in my apartment."
- yma_bean
Lock them Out
"Was in the shower when I heard loud banging outside. Panicked, I shut off my shower and tried to figure out what to do. I wrapped myself in a robe and peeked out my bathroom door to see that my building's superintendent had taken a hammer to the latch lock (not sure what they're called. The type of lock where you flap it over from inside the apartment) and completely ripped it off the wall to get in.
When I asked him wtf he was doing he claimed he had to change the air filters???? They were supposed to text or call when they wanted to enter. Wasn't my first or last run-in with him. So scary when creeps have keys to your home."
Stay Out
"We lived in a maisonette in London (we lived upstairs and a man was downstairs), he came banging at our door one day screaming that his flat was being flooded from our bathroom and to let him in. Well I was 14 and my bro 13 (mum was out). He came in, went in to the bathroom and did something. I don't know what (he was an adult and we trusted him). Well mum called the council out and there had never been a leak.
No water marks or anything so mum told us not to let him in again. Next time mum went out he came banging at the door again and we told him what mum said. He... Went.... Apes**t. LET ME F**KING IIINN, LET ME F**KING IIIINN. All the while banging the heck out of the door. God knows why he wanted in. Scary."
Wrong Address
"I once went to look at a duplex for rent. The property management company gave me the key and the address and just told me I had to turn in the key by such and such time. I get there, unlock and open the door, and see clothes, furniture, knick knacks etc. And then I hear the click of excited dog feet coming down the stairs. I look over to see a very confused, VERY large Rottweiler mix.
He freezes and starts at me. I freeze and stare at him. My brain finally caught up to the situation and slammed the door shut just as the dog launched himself at me, barking furiously.
The landlord meant to give me the key and address for the other half of the duplex -_-."
- tmills87
Fisher Out
black cat GIF by Francisco NegrelloGiphy"First time I heard a fisher cat in my back yard at night I nearly pooped myself. Those things sound like screaming human babies and just, no. At the time I wasn't familiar with them so I noped quickly back into the house."
the old spring
Yeah, my SO and I recently bought a house, and the garage door had a pretty old spring. So old the door was very difficult to open. Asking the sellers to get that replaced was at the top of the list of stuff to do before we signed the papers. I didn't like the idea of that thing going while working on something in the garage.
- cparks1
They're Here!
"I was home alone in the summer as a kid and I hear people on our roof and trucks in the drive way. I call my mom from underneath her bed and whisper that there are men walking on the roof. My mom: "oh yea, the roofers are coming today." 😑
Boom & Sparks
"So there I was, 11 years old, home alone. I hear a creaking noise from the garage so I grabbed a broom and went to chase off whatever animal it was. Cue me standing in the garage looking around... deadly silent. Then BAM!! Sparks fly across my vision and the sound of two planets crashing into each other assaulted my ears. Have you ever seen a half naked 11 year old white boy run when scared? Usain bolt could not have beat me in that moment."
The Crash
"A tree branch crashed through my window when I was home alone playing Xbox.
I've always thought I would be prepared for like an intruder or something, but if that was a dude that just like did that SWAT rope swing thing through my window, he would have had enough time to walk over to me, grab a gun from my hand, load it, and shoot me before I figured what the heck went on.
I was like one of those goats that faint when you scream at them."
It's Me!
in the mirror dancing GIF by Sarah's ScribblesGiphy"I was at a friend's house (watching her cats) and suddenly someone stood on the balcony, right when I walked down the hallway. I stopped dead and stood frozen for minutes, heartbeat up in my throat. Turns out it was my reflection...Took me solid 10 minutes."
- Deltaas
Call 911
"I was babysitting my little sister. We were both watching television. All of a sudden I hear gun shots and bullets ricocheting from the window security bars. A moment later I hear moaning and screams coming from my front door. It was a drive by shooting. Three teenagers where shot up and managed to crawl to my door seeking help. As a 14 year old at the time. It was something I was definitely not prepared to handle."
Let who In?!
"I was home alone since my husband was away on deployment. One night as I was falling asleep both my dog and I heard someone on the porch walking around. My dog flipped out and I decided to go downstairs. I grabbed my gun out of the safe and headed downstairs. About two thirds of the way down I saw the man through the front door windows. We locked eyes and he said, "Let me in." I told him that he needed to leave. Again, "Let me in."
I told him he needed to leave and that I was calling the cops. "Let me in." I told him I that had a gun. "So do I" and he lifted up a gun and aimed it at me. I fired my gun through the window but missed him. He ran off. The cops found him a few blocks from my house a little bit later. His gun ended up not being loaded. Still. Most terrifying crap ever."
Legos...
"I had a massive tub of lego fell over while i was eating downstairs. I kid you not, it sounded like somebody went through the window. I was frozen on the spot thinking i was going to be killed or kidnapped or something. An hour and a bit passed and i thought they must have left. I slowly went around the house looking for evidence of a break in. Then i saw the lego all over the floor."
Texas in the 90's
"I was 11 and home alone. I got out of the shower to discover my house had been broken into. Teen from down the street and his sister were in the living room ransacking the place. My dad kept one of those glass door gun cabinets at the end of the hall by the bedroom door. I took out the first gun I could grab and yelled at them. Dude turned around with a knife but dropped and ran when he saw the rifle.
Coward shoved his sister down as he bolted back out the door. The girl stayed on the ground screaming as I called the cops. They both got arrested over a pocket full of change the guy had shoved in his hoodie.
This was in the 90s in Texas and my mom was more pissed about the broken door and them touching her change jar than anything."
- Silaquix
Hisssss...
Turn Around Reaction GIF by Dr. Donna Thomas RodgersGiphy"A big, freshly-shed rattlesnake skin on the floor in front of the tv where my kids were watching cartoons.
NO! 😳This was in small town Texas, and I had cowboys and deputies and farmers and HS quarterbacks all stomping through my house, from under the porch to the rafters. We did not sleep well for weeks— and we all wore boots in the house."
- Lalllo7
Out of the Basement
"When I was like, 7 or 8, I was taking a bath when I saw a guy walk out from the basement onto the back porch, and out the back yard. Turns out we were being robbed when we got home, the guy hid in the basement for like an hour or two until he made his escape. He had stolen a bunch of hunting knives and stuff like that."
The Stranger
"Just moved in to our brand new home, my husband goes out to pick up dinner. I'm just setting up our tv and all of a sudden a man comes down the flipping stairs. I scream at the top of my lungs and run for the front door. He screams at the same time. Thankfully the neighbors next door were outside so I squeak out that there is a strange man in my house. He comes out of my house and turns out he works for the development, and had been fixing an upstairs bathroom. My husband forgot to tell me he was there. 🤦🏽♀️"
Blankets
"Once i was up early so i went watch some tv, it was dark and i saw a pile of blankets on the floor so I stepped on them to reach the tv and a strange man jumped out! I screamed the house down, turns out it was just my sister's bf that she forgot to tell me was staying there."
Through the Peephole
"I was super high cleaning the apartment one day, probably around 1pm. So the music was up, I was in my zone.
Then someone started slamming on the door. It kept going. I stopped the music, thinking that maybe it was just a neighbor who wanted the music turned down. I didn't feel like answering the door because 1) i smoked a ton so was in no place to 2) covid
Stopped the music, went quiet. But the aggressive knocking did NOT stop.
So I looked through the peep hole, smaller girl a bit bigger than my stature. Never seen her before, and I live in a complex with 6 units. So I know what my neighbors look like. But she keeps knocking. Being stupid, I opened the door. She just stared, asked where Jon was. I told her I don't know, there's no Jon here. She just stood and stared at me, definitely on something. I tell her to try down the hall, since I think there might be one that lives down there. I slowly go to close the door and she legit shoves her foot in the crack and starts to shove.
So I start to struggle back, we are both actually wrestling with this door. I just go "what?? Can I help you?? I'm trying to close the door!"
She stops and relents a bit and does some weird eye shit and goes "oh... okay" then walks off.
Locked and bolted that mess real quick. But yeah don't open doors to strangers."
Out of the Cage
kathy bates misery GIFGiphy"Our garter snakes had gotten out of their cage. We searched everywhere but couldn't find them. Finally my husband went to bed and I stayed up watching TV for a while.
We had one of those gigantic old console TVs we had gotten when someone was throwing it out. Suddenly one of the dust-covered wires came slithering out from behind the TV. I had read Stephen King's "Dolores Claiborne" not too long before, and in that book the crazy old lady thinks the wires in her house are coming alive. I had a moment of "holy crap, it's actually happening!" before I realized it was one of the snakes.
That got my blood pumping, you better believe."
Chucky?
"They put a warning out on the radio in my hometown a few years ago to call the police and NOT stop if you saw a car seat with a child in it abandoned on the highway. There was a slew of robberies where a group of guys would be hiding in the bushes waiting to jump anyone who stopped. The car seat just had a doll and an audio recording of a baby crying. Something like 6 or 7 women got attacked for stopping to check it out.
I still get chills thinking about it."
I Hear it too!
"In the house alone one night and from my room I hear deep, gutteral voices. Go in to check and no one is there. This happens a few more times that evening. After checking and finding nothing... again I stand perplexed and then I hear the voices again, from my stereo speakers! Turns out it was a nearby Ham operator coming across, somewhat, on my stereo speakers."
Week One
"On my first week in my new apartment, my drunk upstairs neighbor tried to break into my house, thinking that I was in her apartment. I literally had to let her take a walk into my half boxed livingroom at 3 am, and then walk her home.
She's a good lady, just had a bad day. Never had any other problems with her, or her family, but Goddamn, did I poop myself that day."
The Left Behinds
"Late at night I had both my cat and my girlfriend's dog start freaking out. I got up, grabbed my gun and flashlight and went through the house. Both the animals were growling and hissing at one of the vents so I went over and shined my light into it and saw a cat. Turns out the previous tenants left their cats and there was a way for animals to get into the ventilation. Fun stuff."
The Creepy Head
Thats My Fetish Glow GIF by NETFLIXGiphy"Someone trying to break open the window, woke up because my dog was barking, looked at the window and seen someone's head staring at me... he ran away and left a couple of tools."
Frozen
"This year my Pipes had Frozen in my mobile home. My partner had gone to work so I was home alone dealing with this issue. I order to get them back running you have to go under the trailer and turn on a heater to heat it up so it can run. The only access to get under the trailer is by getting under the deck. I dug out a large hole in the snow under the deck and had just enough room to squeeze under as I started to shimmy towards the door to get under the ice build up became more dense and soon enough the deck and the ground had me stuck. I am not even claustrophobic and I was having a huge panic attack.
I reached for my phone but realized I had left it back in the house. The only thing I did have with me was a pry bar to get the door open so I managed to grab it and start to chip the ice away under me. Eventually after 10 minutes I was freed and got the hell out of there. The kicker to the story, my pipes were not even frozen a city water main had broke so none of this was necessary."
- Mywork93
Lungs
"Had whooping cough and after a coughing fit I was not able to breathe in again. Luckily I tried to force one more cough out of my empty lungs, it worked.
Best breath I took in my life. 10/10 would breath again."
One Foot In
"I am an ex-Mormon. I was in my 20's and living at home, my parents were out of town and I had the whole house dark. I hear the doorbell ring and see a guy a little younger than me that I barely knew from my old ward standing behind a complete stranger I had never met. The stranger introduced himself as a new leader in the ward and said he wanted to come in and talk about the church. I declined, said goodbye, and started to close the door.
As I was closing the door he put his foot in the way and tried to force his way into the house while trying to tell me they were friends and that they just wanted to talk. I had to get more forceful with him to finally get him to leave.
It was completely inappropriate for him to even be there and even worse that he was trying to force his way into the house."
"Hey over here you idiot!"
"I woke up one morning to a guy staring into my window right at me. I jumped up of course, ran to the kitchen, grabbed a knife, and went to confront the guy. I found out that there was going to be a house remodeled across the street and he had came to the wrong house. He apologized profusely and a coworker of his yelled out "Hey over here you idiot!" So that turned from terror into comedy.
I also have sensor lights in my hallway. I was sitting one time, felt a really cold sensation so I turned around. The sensor lights were turning on 1 by 1 as if somebody was walking towards me. It was scary but I don't really believe in ghosts and I didn't see anybody coming so I just brushed it off as a malfunction."
Don't Say Anything
GIF by moodmanGiphy"When i was 12, a drunk neighbor tried winning back the affections of his ex by beating on her window with a plastic chair, shouting "come out here you stupid witch!" at around midnight. Then threatened to harm anyone who tried to stop him."
Running head on...
"First time living alone, took my dog in the backyard early morning (still completely dark out) before work. Heard a bloodcurdling scream from next door and looked over to see the figure of someone jumping out the first floor window and proceed to start hopping the fence into my yard. Burglar was coming right at me. Luckily my dog was skittish as hell and was already on her way back to me cause of the scream. Slammed the door and locked it and proceeded to call 911.
Somehow I called 911 before the guy who was burglarized because he was in shock."
Signs
"I moved into a house at the beginning of last year and decided I wanted to get a security system. I got one that included cameras, door and window sensors, motion detectors, etc. Installing everything myself was pretty easy and straightforward. For the first week or so, if the alarm is tripped, no police are called and there's no response whatsoever, so you can get used to it. On my 3rd night in the house at about 2:30-3:00am, the alarm starts blaring and I remember jumping out of the bed in a panic.
I couldn't believe my luck that I was really getting robbed and a lot of stuff was still in moving boxes for the guy. I turn off the alarm, grab my gun and clear the whole house. There wasn't a sign of entry anywhere to be seen.
Turns out that one of the sensors I put up wasn't secured properly so it fell off the door and assumed that the door was "opened" in the night. Felt real stupid after that."
- sooshi
TV Time
"One day my mom left the house and the tv was not working so I went upstairs to play with my legos and a car ran into the backyard fence and a wooden pole flew into the window that was right next to the couch we use to watch tv And all the glass fell onto the couch and floor."
A Hard Night
"I was in my apartment which was on the top floor of a 4 story building which had a slanted roof with mexican tile shingles. I heard what sounded like a possum or raccoon jumping on the roof. All of sudden I hear a loud boom and feel the apartment shake. All of a sudden there was a man on my balcony; this balcony had an 1.5 foot overhang from the roof and no discernible way to get from the roof to the balcony. He was screaming that people were shooting at him (I had not heard any gunfire). I yell through the glass to get down behind the wall as I was calling the cops for him.
Not 10 seconds passed when I heard the glass sliding doors crash as he threw a potted plant into my living room. I happen to be in the kitchen and grabbed a knife while I yelled, "get the f**k out or I will f**king kill you." He ran toward the door and out. The cops took another 10 minutes to show up, while other cops caught the guy.
The 25 year old guy skipped his meds and ran out of his parents house believing he was being hunted.
It was hard to sleep for a few nights."
Crawlers
"Spider running out of shorts I just took off to get a shower while no one at home."
- Hexariel
the man in the mirror
"When I was younger (probably 14 years old) I was playing hide and seek with my little brother (about 4 years old). I was hiding and he was taking quite a while to find me. I was hiding in his room which was right next to mine. He suddenly comes running into his room (where I'm hiding) and goes straight to where I was. I asked him "how'd you know where I was?" He says "the man in your mirror told me where you were hiding."
Can I come in?
"I was left home alone to watch the dogs while my parents did a carriage job. I was sitting near a window watching random videos on my phone. Being home alone at night always makes me uneasy, and the fact I was watching the occasional horror game did not help. I looked over at the window and saw two glowing eyes staring in at me. I literally screamed and almost fell out of my seat.
It was my cat. She wanted to come inside."
11 Flights
Tom Hanks Reaction GIFGiphy"The apartment above mine caught fire. I thought the fire alarm was just a test until I heard something explode directly above me. I grabbed my cat and bolted down 11 flights of stairs to see flames bursting 10 feet out of the balcony above my unit."
One Reddit user asked:
We expected stories about adult toys or humiliating family portraits or something - Reddit gave so much more. Proceed with some caution - it's not all fun and games .
There are talks of animals and children in unhealthy conditions, mental health struggles, and some "interesting" anatomical wall art.
I'll Never Forget Him
Realtor here. I was showing a house that was supposed to be empty. I knocked and rang the bell to make sure.
Once inside I walked into a bedroom and found the current tenant butt naked absolutely slamming on an electronic drum kit in what was a mostly sound proof room.
He never noticed I was there, but I'll never forget him.
- nolatime
Counter Hot Dogs
Hot Dog Girl GIFGiphyBack in my teenage babysitting days, I regularly watched three kids whose parents kept one of those ENORMOUS packages of hot dogs out on the kitchen counter.
Everyone in that household would just wander by and grab a room-temperature hot dog as a snack whenever they felt like. I babysat for them 2-3 times per week for over a year and never not saw those hot dogs. I wonder about them all the time.
Seriously though, just the idea of this made me nauseous. Fleshy, slimy, overly salty, cold yet somehow suspiciously warm hot dogs... probably the worst combination of things for a food to be. How did the kids never get food poisoning?
A Hallway Toilet
Former babysitter, one house had a toilet in the hallway.
Not a bathroom - just a toilet literally in the middle of a carpeted hallway (against a wall) that totally worked. It was parallel to the wall not perpendicular- there was zero cover around it and it faced the stairway. So if you used it, and somebody came up the stairs, you were going to be making eye contact.
I never understood it. It looked like someone just set a toilet down for a minute.
There was a full bathroom 6' away connected to the hallway.
This was a small 2 story house with a family of 4. The hallway was narrow and if the toilet was perpendicular to the wall I'm not sure you could have walked by down the hallway without bashing your shins on it...unless you turned sideways.
It did work, it was clean, but probably wasn't used by the family since it was covered in child locks after the toddler discovered flushing things.
The Wall Plaque
I noticed a plaque the size of a large clock above someones' mantle. These people were middle aged white folks in the the middle of suburbia.
The plaque had names where numbers would be and a small trinket below the name.
I wished I would have never asked about it, because it turns out it was the preserved circumcision skin from all the men in their family. There is literally no appropriate response here... I literally just left the room and acted like I never heard anything.
She Never Mentioned The Naked Man
Installed sod at this lady's newly built home. She was in her mid 60s maybe. Anyway, she didn't know where the valve to the exterior tap was in the basement and asked if I could go down and turn it on for her. No problem. I go down the stairs to the unfinished basement and it's pitch dark. I find a light switch and then suddenly there is a 400 pound man naked and asleep on a mattress three feet away from me.
She never mentioned this before I went downstairs...
Kinship
A few years ago I was a social worker at a Child Placing Agency. In my state CPS can place children in kinship homes (relative, family friend, a person the child is familiar with) with little to no vetting- just some paperwork and a quick home walkthrough.
This woman was a distant aunt of four kids, making her a kinship home for them. Most kinship homes try to get licensed with a Child Placing Agency after the kids are placed because it will provide them more financial and therapeutic support for their kids. This is what brought me to her home.
She had a jaccuzzi in the center of her carpeted bedroom that she and the four (foster) children bathed in. There was no shower head or curtain. They also all shared a toilet in her bedroom that had no walls/ door around it. Absolutely no privacy.
All of the kids slept in the living room while she slept in the master bedroom.
During my home inspection I found three doors that had been completely plastered over and couldn't be accessed- she informed me that one was a full bathroom and the other two were bedrooms. None were accessible but she insisted that she used them to "store her tools."
I was so creeped the hell out.. there was no possible way for her to get to her "tools" from those rooms. The kids could have had bedrooms and there was no need for anyone to be bathing or using the toilet in front of anyone else.
One of them was a 12 year old girl.. imagine getting your first period in that home. ☹️.
I did everything i could to help the kids move.
I obviously did not license her home and I detailed all of my concerns about the children's living situation via phone and written report to CPS. I, of course, told them I did not think this woman should be caring for children.
One upsetting thing is that once her application was denied and I explained that I didn't believe the kids should be there or ever have been there I was basically removed from the picture. I did not technically work for CPS, so I couldn't tell you what happened after.
I think about it a lot and hope that the children are in a loving and caring home.
Karma And Bugs
I was working in this one hospital where this mother/daughter pair always came in with their two little chihuahuas. The women were always rude and obnoxious no matter how we bent over backwards.
Anyway. They'd been coming in repeatedly complaining their dogs had fleas and no treatments we'd sold them were working and the dogs still "had bugs."
So this one day they come in and demand to see their usual vet, who goes out and is greeted with a bag of "fleas" and shouting about how they were right/we were wrong cause look, they were still battling fleas despite treatment!
If you've ever had, seen, or known anything about fleas, good f*cking luck catching a bunch of them to put into a ziploc bag alive. They were definitely not fleas - but he didn't know what the hell they were, so he brought them into the back and asked if anyone had any ideas.
I'd just seen an episode of Monsters Inside Me about bed bugs. I said they were bed bugs and I was right (later confirmed it with a friend of mine who was a state entomologist who specialized in them!).
Apparently these always-obnoxious women had recently gotten a used couch for their basement from somewhere.
Karma? 🤷♀️
Those Poor Rats
animal s cuteness GIFGiphyI volunteer for a breed-specific dog rescue and do home visits/inspections for people who want to adopt dogs. It's usually mostly a formality to make sure the potential adopters know the quirks of this breed and are well prepared to live with them and allow them a chance to ask me questions about living with this breed.
One home visit though.... it was in a rough part of town. A woman and her 17-year-old child living in an elderly and incapacitated man's home. They helped care for him in exchange for a place to live. The home was just generally not in great shape, cluttered, not super clean.
The woman and her daughter lived upstairs, which was 3 small bedrooms, all with the doors shut. They open room 1... it was being used to house foster kittens.
The 2nd room was the girl's bedroom, but they opened the door and it was just crammed with junk. You couldn't even get into the room. So the mom and daughter shared a bedroom.
They open the door to this 3rd room. The smell of ammonia instantly hits me. My eyes are burning. I feel like I can't breathe. There was a mattress on the floor that took up most of the room. Lining the walls were 20 gallon aquarium tanks, all filled with rats.
Dozens and dozens of pet rats in each one. No bedding or toys for the rats, just bare glass, food and water. The glass sides were covered in pee from the rats trying to climb out with their pee soaked paws.
The woman mentioned she had cleaned these aquariums the day before. I felt so so bad for those poor little rats. The way she spoke about them, I could tell she loved them very much. She just clearly couldn't care for them the way she should have.
I only stayed in the room for a couple of minutes before wrapping up the visit. I had a pounding headache from the overwhelming smell. I have no idea how they actually slept in that room. That was the only home I ever visited that I didn't recommend as an adopter.
Wild And Elderly
Was tasked with removing a rattlesnake from an elderly ladies home. What was found was her sex toy lodged between furniture and the wall while on/vibrating.
Poor thing thought it was a snakes rattle lol.
Turned it off (with gloves) and told her the snake had been removed! Makes me laugh, she was a sweet lady.
That Skin Smell
I used to do home health and just go in and help people with everyday things they couldn't do because of their condition.
Had this really sweet older lady with a bad case of psoriasis. Her floors had a layer of dead skin covering nearly every square inch of the apartment. It was even in her dogs water bowl.
I did my best to keep it clean, and visited twice a week. Each time it was just as bad. I can still smell it if I think about it.
Goat Head Stew
Used to live in south Florida and worked an apartment complex.
One day we cleaned out this apartment after tenants moved out, wasn't too bad as it was mostly clean, but the shocking part was finding a severed goat's head in the fridge (on a platter not just stuffed in there), it was skinned and everything. Startled the f*ck out of me and wasn't sure what to do.
Supervisor said it was no big deal, It's common among Haitian/Jamaican/Island populations to use the whole head for a stew.
My partner is Jamaican, as is his family who lives in south Florida. This is a common dish that's made, literally called goat head soup. Just asked them to confirm and the response was "yeah, it's good as hell" haha.
Goat cheek is some of the best meat I've ever had. Bought a head off some Persian guys I knew from the jewelry stand at the mall. Made an epic stew. Scared the sh!t out of my roommate's gf when she got home lmao.
They Come At Night
I worked for 18 years as a cable/phone service tech in a big city. I've seen a lot. A few stick out, but the one that always made me sad was an apartment of someone with extreme schizophrenia living in government housing.
This disease tends to make people think that they are being monitored, so often in a bout of extreme mania, someone with it will tear out all of the phone and cable wiring in their place and then later realize that they need it and call for a service call.
I had to go back to this woman's place a few times for this. She had written on every square inch of her apartment walls - sentence fragments, different thoughts and things that seemed to be written in different voices.
She had cut a 1x1ft hole in her wall around her phone jack and ripped all the wires out. I patched up what I could and assured her we wouldn't bill her.
She also cornered me at one point to tell me that it wasn't her writing on the walls and that people come at night and do it.