There's an excellent Litmus Test for determining how noble a human being you are, and it starts and stops with any nearby fast food drive-thru. If you can pull up, order your food, pay, and leave without treating the employees like garbage, you're a relatively decent human being. If you, or someone you know, can't do that, odds are you probably associate with the terrible people on this list.
Reddit user, u/YangWenli1, wanted to hear about:
Let's Start Off Strong!happy homer simpson GIF Giphy
I worked at a Wendy's!
Had one guy try to order McNuggets over the speaker. When I asked what size they wanted, they got all defensive that I wouldn't call them MCnuggets.
"Fine, fine, fine, I'll take a whopper"
"...uhhh, a Dave's Double? Or Baconator?"
Needless to say, they screamed at me and zoomed off into the smogset. Worst year of my life.
What Did You Think It Was?
Worked at Burgerking around the time free WIFI was becoming a thing. My store even advertised it on the sign outside. One night some guy comes through the driver through and starts to make his order.
Customer: "...Whopper jr with a Coke, and I'll take one weefee" Manager: "Ummm sir do you mean WIFI??" C: "Yeah" M: "Sir that's wireles internet" C: (obviously confused af) "oh" drives away
Another occasion some lady wanted her meal for free. When asked why she said she was a McDonald's assistant manager. Again this was at Burgerking
Almost Got It...c
This was many years ago when I worked at a Pizza Hut. I can't recall the exact exchange now.
Police came in guns drawn yelling "Where is he?!".
"Where is who?" "The guy, the guy!!" "What guy!?" ...
Turns out the alarm was going off at Dominoes about 1/8 mile down the road.
We All Got Problems
I work at an airport in a pizza shop. We tell every guest it's going to be a 6 minute wait for the pizza, and 2 minutes later they come back and demand we rush there food because there plane is boarding. The amount of times I've been told, "Can you hurry I have a flight to catch!" Is utterly bizzare. Everyone has a flight to catch you just suck at timing out sh-t!
Look At The Sign.
I work at Dunkin Donuts and it is a real sh-tshow. My favorites:
- Once our order taking system got out of order. The cashier handed a bag with a sandwich to a girl who had ordered a box of a dozen donuts, and she took it, paid, drove away. Came back confused an hour later saying "I ordered a dozen donuts and got a sandwich instead?" So why did you take the sandwich???
- People love to order in Starbucks sizes or ask for Starbucks drinks. Whenever they say "grande" or whatever I just ask "what size?" Over and over until they get the hint. Same thing with Frappucinos, "So a frozen coffee?" Some people love to argue that we have things like Frappucinos, or nitro cold brew. Please read the menu folks.
Ma'am, Look At The Sign
I work at a chilis and when I was hosting old people would constantly come in and talk about how weird it was that we redecorated so suddenly and where did the salad bar go??
They thought we were Sizzlers which was two buildings away from us. Happened at least four times.
Seriously, Ma'am, Look At The Sign
Work at Panera.
Guest calls in from car, several people in background, all giving orders for a pick up. First order is something simple, next order is an item we don't carry. A salmon dish of some kind. I know there are some regional Paneras that have or have had salmon. We are not one of them.
So I let them know, "Hey, I'm sorry but we don't carry salmon. Maybe-" and the person on the other end of the phone cuts me off and starts getting really aggressive. "Yes you do! YOU DO!" they scream.
But I don't. We don't.
So then I'm like, "Hey, maybe you're thinking of another chain. We are very similar to-" and I start to list off some other places, and they cut me off again screaming, "I KNOW YOU HAVE F-CKING SALMON! WHAT THE F-CK! I ATE IT JUST THE OTHER DAY!"
And at this point I'm just being honest with them and say, "Hey man, I don't really need this attitude. We don't have salmon. I can't make the dish for you. You have us confused with someone else."
There's a long silence and finally someone (not the person who's been yelling) says, "Wait, this isn't *insert some totally not Panera sounding place that I don't remember here*?"
And then everyone in the car starts yelling at each other, and I hang up.
Customer service is the worst.
This Isn't The High Quality Restaurant You Think It Is
Now, working at McDonald's, every single day at the same time, 16:00 this old guy would come in and order his food, most people knew that he wanted a special order, over cook the sh-t out of the patty. Started up right when he walked in.
Anyway that's not the problem, that was easy, the problem is this dude was forgetful as all hell, and would demand a ceramic plate to eat on every time. So that's when we would explain it to him. Dude this is McDonald's, we don't have plates. And he'd usually be like oh right, right. But, Sometimes he would just rant about how we SHOULD have plates. I saw him absolutely flip the f-ck out, because a girl stepped outside the breakroom with a plate of food she brought from home. I KNEW YOU BASTARDS HAD PLATES and could not convince him otherwise ever there after.
Keep it in the breakroom is the moral of the story
...Yeahbuwha?season 3 confusion GIF Giphy
Dude came to drive thru. I open the window, "sir, how can I help you."
"I'm outa checks." He replies calmly.
"Not sure I follow you." I say.
"I'm outa checks." He says again more impatiently.
"Right, I heard you but I don't know what you want me to do about it. You can pay with cash or card too."
Dude gives me a weird look then says, "Oh this ain't the bank." And peels out away from the window.
I'm a pharmacist.
Pay Me Back For All These Pizzas I Didn't Buy
I am late to the party but anyway.
As teenager I was working at a supermarket weekends.
An older lady comes to me and shows me a frozen pizza and explains me that all the pizzas have reached the best before date and was really mad. She was demanding that I remove all the pizzas and a compensation (for what?) and so on. The date on the pizza was the production date
Sir, We Only Serve Photos Here.
I worked in a photo lab inside a Walmart, that also had a McDonalds. Everything in the photo lab was yellow. The cupboards and the walls and what not.
One day some guy walks in and orders a quarter pounder with cheese. We were like umm sorry this is a photo lab. He says oh for f sakes, I saw all the yellow and just thought you were Mcdonalds lol
We Can Only Tell You So Many Times
I worked at Panera for 6 years and I about lost it with this one.
Guy orders his food and I ask ,"do you want the apple, baguette or chips?"
He goes. "Umm, I'll take a nugget", with the most serious look ever on his face.
I still laugh about it to this day.
SERIOUSLY. Did You Look At The Sign?
Legit had an old man walk up into the Pizza Hut I worked at and ask the manager for a cheeseburger. She told him we didn't serve burgers and he goes "Well what do you have?" She looked at him dumbfounded and replied "Pizza..." His response? "Oh I don't like that I'll just take a cheeseburger."
And the cycle repeated...
We Don't Do That Here
I worked at McDonald's and I was getting yelled at by a lady that was a splitting image of Tina from Bob's Burgers. She was upset because I couldn't replicate that stupid f-cking pink drink from Starbucks. I wouldn't even know how. After a few minutes of my manager and I explaining that she's not at a f-cking Starbucks, she settled for a vanilla iced coffee. I made the drink and handed it to her personally.
She then removed an old dirty Starbucks cup from her purse, poured her fresh made drink in there and threw the McDonald's cup at me.
Who Needs The Hassle?
It wasn't me involved but I witnessed it.
I worked at Burger King when I was a teenager. We are short staffed one day, and the girl on the drive thru was on break so our manager stepped in to cover her.
He was pretty old and didn't have the best hearing, so most customers were pulling around to the window to talk to him as he was struggling to hear through the headset. Anyway this one guy rolls up to the window and shouts "I want a large big mac meal with a coke PLEASE! Is that so damn hard?!"
My manager very calmy says "my apologies sir, that won't be difficult." he leans out of the window and points down the road "there's a McDonald's about 3 miles in that direction. They'll be able to help. Have a nice day sir." Then he just closes the window and walks around the corner out of sight. I laughed so hard!!
What Else Would A Dairy Queen Serve?
Worked at a Dairy Queen. Had a lady saunter in all frustrated, bag in hand. Whipped out her receipt and without giving me much context said, "there's supped to be a Baja Blast." I told her "m'am this is for Taco Bell." She quickly said "my bad" and sped out of the restaurant. I think she was making up a story and did it in the wrong store.
Also the number of people who asked "do you serve ice cream" is way too f-ckin high
Sir, You're In A Mall...homer simpson episode 10 GIF Giphy
Was a shift manager at a McDonald's in the middle of a mall. A guy walks up to the counter with several McDonald's bags of food.
Guy: My wife came through your drive-thru and you messed up the order!
Me: Are you sure she came through our drive-thru?
Guy: Yes! She told me she came through the drive-thru, and when she got home she realized the order was wrong. Y'all need to give us our money back and give us the right food.
Me: confused while looking around the mall
Me: Did she drive through Sears or JC Penny to get here?
Guy: Looks around and finally realizes he's in the middle of a mall. Grabs the bags and huffs away.
That was the single greatest amount of human stupidity I had experienced...until I joined Reddit.
This happened at an actual Wendy's. Its a bit long but trust me, its worth it to read.
I once had a woman come through the drive through and try to order Macaroni and cheese. I politely informed her we did not have that. She insisted we did. I told her we definitely didnt. She got angry and yelled that yes we did. I told her "ma'am Ive been working here 3 years. We have NEVER had macaroni and cheese. Its not something we serve. Would you like to order something else?" Shes says "yes you f-cking do! I can see it on the menu board! Its RIGHT there right in front of me on the menu!" I tell her Im really not sure what shes looking at, but we dont have mac and cheese, and if it really does say mac and cheese on our menu board then that means someone vandalized it. She says no, its definitely part of the menu board and its real and we do have it, and she isnt leaving until she gets her mac and cheese.
Cue quite literally 10 minutes of this back and forth, all while she's holding up the drive through line. I finally got the manager to come over and deal with it after asking him for the 15th time because they dont pay me NEARLY enough to deal with that for that long.
The woman absolutely REFUSES to accept that we dont have mac n cheese. She also refuses to order anything else, and wont move her car until we give her the mac and cheese that we dont have. We have a line of cars wrapped around the building now and everyone is pissed. Its been half an hour and the line has not moved.
The manager tells her if she doesnt leave, he's gonna have to call the cops. She screams she cant understand why we're doing all this, and why we wont just serve her mac and cheese when she can CLEARLY see it on our menu board right in front of her so we DO have it and why are we lying to her?
I decided enough is enough, I exit the building, walk along the outside to the drive through order screen where this woman's car is.
I tell her to please show me on the menu where it says the words "macaroni and cheese" anywhere.
She points and confidently says "Right there!" With all the conviction of someone who is absolutely sure they just proved some big dumb idiot wrong and that they will be hailed as a hero.
I look where shes pointing.
I see it.
I sigh heavily as a bit more of my soul dies.
I compose myself and say, as politely as I possibly can:
"That is a picture of the orange slices that come with the kids meal. We do not serve mac and cheese. Please drive away before the police get here."
She looks confused, looks at the menu board again, the realization dawns on her, and she drives off without a word. I go back inside and scream in the walk-in freezer for 10 minutes.
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Any engaged couple looks forward to the big day when after months of planning, they get to tie the knot and declare their love in front of family and friends.
What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Sometimes I think back to a teacher I had when I was a kid who demanded to know whether any of us were "raised in a barn" in response to crappy behavior. Namely littering. She hated littering. Can you blame her? It's a horrible habit and some people do it with no sense of shame. She dedicated much of her time to telling students to pick up after themselves and dispose of things properly. For that, I'm thankful.
But why didn't anyone else get the memo? The trash I see on the streets is obscene.
People had lots of thoughts to share after Redditor SneakyStriedker876 asked the online community,
"What seemingly uncivilized thing is commonplace in society?"
"We delight in the deaths of others as long as we feel it was justified. But when the reverse happens we act all high and mighty like we wouldn't engage in the same behavior."
"Slaughtering each other..."
"Slaughtering each other via warfare to solve political differences. It's standard policy worldwide."
Indeed it is. And it seems impossible to stop.
"Littering. Especially dropping cigarette butts on the ground/flicking them out the window.
The world is not your personal ashtray/garbage bin."
Every now and then I find new trash in my yard and I am constantly amazed by how nasty people can be.
"Mobbing someone because of their opinion or for a comment they made a long time ago, even if that time was yesterday."
"Xenophobia. The fact that racism and racial violence still exist is an indicator that we're still tribal primates in fancy clothes."
And it makes no sense! It's not based in reality. We are truly a tribal species.
"Shouting while arguing, refusing to listen to the opinions of others, basically the inability to debate and maintain proper communication."
"Letting people die..."
"Letting people die of curable conditions simply because they can't afford healthcare."
Probably the biggest reason why much of the Western world looks at the United States with shame in their eyes.
"Parents forcing their kids to hug family/friends despite the kid being uncomfortable doing it. They feel uncomfortable for a reason."
"During the holiday season..."
"During the holiday season, customers take products off of our online fulfillment carts. Y'all have legs. Get your own."
"Using phone speakers..."
"Using phone speakers in public. I don't care what you and your friend think about that restaurant, or how much that Spotify jam speaks to you. Nobody else wants to hear it."
We truly need to stop all of these, don't you think?
Have some opinions of your own? Feel free to tell us about them in the comments below!
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I love presents. I try to hide my enthusiasm, and I do my best to appease the greater public by saying "it's the thought that counts." But that is a WHOLE lie. I don't just love gifts, I love great gifts. And if you go rogue from my lists, please keep a receipt. It's just plain rude to divert from what the recipient has requested.
This thought process has emerged from experience. I have received some trash presents over the years and now I'm too old to pretend you just went crazy while shopping. Like... "do you even know me?!"
Redditor u/sulemannkhann wanted to hear all about the presents some of us have received that we prayed, came with a receipt, by asking:
What's the worst birthday gift you ever got?
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks FamiliarBroad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy
"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basicslaw school finals GIFGiphy
"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy
"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I'm still on the fence about this whole extraterrestrial situation. I need more proof. Now I'm not naive enough to think that in this vast, endless universe only the human race exists. I just need proof, tangible, solid, didn't see it from my trailer through beer goggles proof.
I also need proof about the afterlife, another out there topic. Truth be told, I've never been that into this whole conversation. I've got enough daily problems on this planet, let alone worrying about making Will Smith's biggest hits into documentaries and not just popcorn/comedy space farce.
But let's compare thoughts...
Redditor u/ValencikHannibal197 wanted to discuss life beyond this planet, what do we really think? They asked:
What's the best theory on UFOs or aliens you've ever heard??
I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truthx files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy
"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Seasci-fi ufo GIFGiphy
"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
"train your eyes"Dancing GIFGiphy
"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
Back and Forthback to the future great scott GIFGiphy
"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.