When are we ever going to learn? Don't keep naughty photos! Stop taking them! Or take them on a polaroid, polaroids are unhackable. We can't just leave these images on our devices (devices that are all connected by the way) all willy nilly.
And never mind the hacking, half the time we're our own worst enemies. We constantly end up flashing the wrong photos, videos, and images at the most inappropriate times. Besides being outrageously embarrassing, some of those wrong moments could be illegal.
Just when we think we're about to show the latest family Christmas photo at an innocent baby shower/BAM... a video from the one-nighter with your best friend's husband pops up. That's a Pandora's Box you can't close.
Redditor u/PeterChai wanted to hear about the most scandalous images and messages we've let slip on our devices, by asking:
What's the most NSFW thing you've accidentally shown someone while using your phone or computer?
I am obsessed with the security of my devices. I take my phone and sometimes my computer into the bathroom, just in case. And they are fingerprint protected. Mainly because you never know who could break in but also, I know I have content that is not for my mama to stumble across.
Damn Explorer
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"Doing a group project at university, in front of the whole group I went to open a file in Explorer and it opened straight to my porn folder. Which was set to thumbnail mode."
"the secret"
"I was showing a new hire at work how to log into the app we used to track attendance/schedules and after your login it showed you a QR code you could use to punch in. I then told him "the secret" which was to screenshot the QR code and that way you didn't have to log in every time to punch, just scan your QR code. I then opened my gallery and showed him... a lot more of me than anyone at work should see. Remember what apps you've left open!"
Sorry Rabbi...
"As a young 12yo boy I was practicing for my bar mitzfah with my rabbi. He took my phone to show me something related to Judaism, and low and behold he found the porn I accidentally left on my browser. The rest of that religious lesson was a lecture about how porn isn't real sex and I shouldn't get the wrong idea. Super embarrassing but at least he was cool about it and didn't tell my parents."
- veggainz
Meatus...
"I sent a Wikipedia link of a penis to my in-laws as a risqué joke but it backfired when the text link turned into a full color image of an actual person's penis and testicles with labels. It was far more explicit than intended but now I can say I sent a penis pic to my wife's parents and lived... And that's how I learned the word Meatus."
Is that me?
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"Well my mother accidentally showed me the home video of my own birth. It was on a VHS tape and it was of my parents wedding and boom half way through it just cuts to my mother spread eagle and me crowning. I've never been right since."
Oof, so much porn. Why do we save so much of it? It's free and always easy to access. I've had mine set off in my pocket, on my bluetooth. Imagine how that went?
Sorry Dad
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"Was showing my dad's friend pictures of me and my friends on my phone while he was visiting one day. Accidentally swiped onto a close up picture of my boobs that I had taken for my boyfriend a few days earlier. That was real awkward."
"nothing"
"One time I was watching an anime and this one scene had a guy in a small towel thrusting his hips and shouting "We're going to take the plunge deeper and deeper!" come on, just as my brother walked in. The fact that I jumped, immediately closed the browser and said "nothing" when he asked what I was watching did not help."
"DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE!!!"
"I went to boarding school in the earlyish 2000s, the go to prank was making someone's laptop background porn. One day I got a good grade and I wanted to show my dad. I got home, excited and told him "DADADADAAD COME OVER HERE", opened my laptop, and boom, a close up of two very fit bros mid coitus was set as my background. My father is a very stern, emotionally vacant stereotype of a midwestern father. He paused for a while. It felt like an hour but couldn't have been more than a few seconds. I was so panicked that I kinda locked up."
"He put his hand on my shoulder in an oddly tender way. "I love you no matter what, but you could've come out in a more subtle way probably." Explaining to him that it was in fact a prank and not me coming out was quite complicated. And that is how I accidentally showed my father gay porn."
Say Cheese!
"Cheese bikini… and I tried to play it off like it's explainable. Kid's mom at my nephews bday party, I was showing her cakes cause my mom makes cool cakes for the kids parties so was showing prior parties cakes. Whatsapp auto saves to roll, friend sent a picture of a plump woman, lovely lady no judgement, wearing Velveeta slices as a bikini… cheese bikini."
The Best 'Actually, You're Speaking To The Boss' Experience | George Takei’s Oh Myyy
Bad Stool
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"I didn't know that pepto bismol turned your stools very dark. Thought I had cancer. Took a pic to show my doctor. Forgot that everything went straight to Amazon photos. The call from my wife was interesting."
- harag888
WICKEDWHIMS
"My WickedWhims Sims 4 mods…"
"Oh God. I can relate to this. I remember my friends crowded around my laptop to look at some specific file in my downloads folder (forgot which one) and of course the file right below it was some WickedWhims add-on with some title like "PENIS WICKEDWHIMS" or something. I was mortified. Thankfully my friends didn't say anything, so either they truly didn't notice or decided to spare me from the embarrassment."
dodged a bullet...
"Wasn't me but a co worker for some reason was trying to show this girl his search history and prove that he doesn't watch porn to her (he was trying to get in her pants) and me and my bud were there watching as he's showing this and all we saw on the history was "symptoms of chlamydia" and we proceeded to burst out laughing. Turns out he actually did have it. She dodged a bullet if she was ever gonna do anything with the guy."
Good enough...
"My mum, sister and I went to see the UK tour of Rock Of Ages and we met one of the actors and we had a selfie with him and he jokingly clicked on the photo to "check if it was good enough." And he swiped by accident on my sister's phone and we all saw her full naked body 🤦🏻."
Fail Search
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"My cousin wanted to search BJ's Wholesale Club but she just typed in BJs."
"Is that your wife?"
"I have an artful black and white nude picture I took of my wife as my home screen on my phone. It's one of those tasteful types with no "sensitive" parts showing but it's still clearly a nude. I had to replace the protective screen on my phone so I took it in to the AT&T store to get one and the lady behind the counter offers to change it for me."
"Without even thinking I thumb the button and throw my unlocked phone on the counter. She looks at the phone, then at my wedding ring, back at the phone, and says "Is that your wife?" I could barely mumble a yes as I realized what just happened and she was nice enough to say "She's very pretty and you two make a great couple."
"I don't think I said anything else except thank you and I am quite sure I turned about forty seven shades of red before I could scurry out of there. I went home and told my wife about it and she left a very sweet five star review for the lady."
(insert name here)
"I was scrolling through Twitter in my history class as I usually did when I had completed all of my schoolwork, but one of the tweets was the pornhub intro. I panicked and scrolled away as someone would do in that situation, and at first no one really responded so I began to think no one noticed."
"Then out of no where one of the girls in the back of my class said "Hey (insert name here) are you watching porn!?!" So obviously I went into full panic mode and tried my best to explain it was some meme on Twitter, but before I could finish my sentence the girl said "Hey don't worry about it. We all watch porn there's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"At this point the whole class including my teacher was just staring me down. I didn't know how to respond. I couldn't respond, so I just kinda put my head down and started "working on some home work" also known as me writing something down in my notebook."
Sorry Boss
"My wife sent random nudes while I was trying to show my female boss a picture of my kid that my wife had previously sent me. The message thread scrolled all the way down when the photo came through flashing her boobs to my boss."
- roll_hog
Say Cheese!
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"My brother was looking through my camera to look at a car show I was at and I forgot I took a bunch of pictures of the girl I was dating. He just stopped was like "nice" it took me a minute to realize he got to the pictures of her."
Yay Vin!
"When I was a teacher, I usually had my computer screen displayed on the smartboard so I could reference online material. One lunch hour, a student who knew I was an action movie fan told me that there was a new XXX (Triple X, those Vin Diesel movies) coming out. I was excited, and without really thinking about it I typed in XXX into my search bar and hit 'enter'. I meant to type 'XXX trailer', but yeah. A giant list of porn websites showed up on the computer and the class started laughing."
Florida Trip
"A few years ago, I was showing a friend/co-worker some pictures I had shot while on vacation in Florida. I was just swiping through, telling him the story of the picture, where it was, etc... and then hit a picture of me and my (at the time) wife in the hotel."
"You couldn't see much of me, but, was an amazing view of my wife, fully naked, in cowgirl position, straddling me, and leaning back. I just said, "That's Sammie, obviously. We were at the hotel in bed in this shot...", He laughed, I laughed, and I never told my wife that one of my co-workers had seen her naked and with me."
Followers
"Back when I had Twitter I used to follow a few pornstars I'm a fan of, anyway in addition I followed a few political figure accounts as well. Anyway on day I had seen a tweet from a political commentator I thought my parents should see since they didn't have Twitter so I bring up my Twitter on their laptop and in a brief moment of realization it dawned on me there's a decent chance they may see something they're not at all expecting. Sure enough there's a pic of Jenaveve Jolie spread eagle. Horrified describes my reaction Best."
Be careful and precise with your phones. They have minds of their own sometimes. And keep your less... wholesome images, on a separate drive. Private love making and bowel movements should stay that way.
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When we're intoxicated, or even the slightest bit tipsy from having a little too much to drink, our immediate perspective on things is hazy.
But there's nothing like a bit of alarming news or a jarring incident to snap us out of the fog and focus on the moment.
Sometimes alcohol isn't always to blame for our impairment.
It can be a state of mind, like a perpetual numbness from being complacent in life, and all it takes is one shocking moment to rattle us back to our senses.
Curious to hear from strangers online about this type of scenario, Redditor Known_Challenge_7150 asked:
"What’s one thing that sobered you up real quick?"
These individuals were witness to shocking events that sobered them up right quick.
Bleeding Out
"Got out of a taxi and found a naked man profusely bleeding from his head crawling up the driveway in my condo. Called him an ambulance completely forgot I was absolutely wasted until 45 minutes later when I'd helped him translate and in to an amublance and stepped in my front door."
"Later a few days later learned he'd slipped in the tub and literally crawled out for help. Poor dude. He was fine but I genuinely thought he was going to die there."
– DongLaiCha
Tragic News
"At a bachelor party and we got a phone call that the groom’s father had suddenly passed."
– accountnameredacted
Bottom Of The Barrel
"I went to visit my parents back in July. I was homeless and deep into fentanyl addiction so I lost a lot of weight. My folks could see it. They knew something was up. Anyway, I spent the night and I was getting ready to leave in the morning and I looked at myself in the mirror for a good long time. I finally had enough and told them everything. They took me to detox, from there I went to rehab. Graduated in August and been living with them ever since then. I have 160 days clean and sober."
– Crotch-Monster
A reality check can be enough for some people to snap out of it.
Like Father, Like Son
"Was driving a drunk friend home, he had been on a bender again and was smart enough to call me for a lift rather than try and drive. As I helped in to his house his mother came down the stairs and said 'your as drunk as your father' and went back upstairs. I haven't seen him drunk since then, he still drinks but the thought of turning into his dad scared him out of hard drinking."
– psycospaz
Busted
"Flashing blue lights."
– FiddleOfGold
"This sobered me up just thinking about it."
– redmaple_syrup
Losing Sight
"Woke up to no sight in one eye. I had cataract surgery so just thought one of the lenses had slipped and it was an easy fix. Eye doc says nope, you had a stroke. I loved soy sauce, teriyaki sauce and salty food, which caused high blood pressure, which caused retina damage. Over six months was able to get most of my eyesight back with medication, and all back within a year. Trying to navigate life with one eye was very sobering. Started taking HBP much more seriously."
– MissHibernia
Quitting The Bottle
"Looked up someone I went to highschool with who was an awesome guy. Found out he had been dead for 3 years from alcoholism, at age 33. I made an overnight change. I hadn't started drinking that night yet, 10 months ago. Haven't touched it again since."
– omgtater
These disturbing moments were enough for Redditors to immediately come to their senses.
Unplanned House Guests
"Me and a buddy Woke up in someone’s living room, realized neither one of us knew the people, they were just nice and let 2 drunk guys sleep on their living room floor. We didn’t even say goodbye."
– Oneinsevenbillion75
Serious Health Warning
"Elevated liver enzymes."
"And the knowledge that this sh** was gonna kill me and I just couldn't orphan my family over it."
"So I opted for recovery, instead."
"Clean and sober since June 5, 2009."
– Far_Meal8674
The Joyride
"Grew up in a rural area. The little town hosted dances at the hockey arena, everyone (adults and kids) went and they overserved everyone, regardless of age. I was maybe 16 or 17 and was absolutely sh*tfaced, and jumped in the back of someone's truck with about 8 other people to go back to someone's cottage for after dance drinking. The driver (still don't know who it was) started racing one of his buddies and we whipped around small dirt roads, flying around blind corners on the wrong side of the road, going god knows how fast. It was basically a disaster waiting to happen. It was crazy scary and I was sober and thankful to be alive when we finally arrived."
– foxfood9116
The human psyche is a fascinating thing, isn't it?
How we can automatically focus on something urgent at a crucial time, even after getting buzzed from drinking too much alcohol.
But as we're in the thick of the holidays, it's a good reminder to drink responsibly and stay off the roads if you drive to your celebratory destination.
Cheers. Stay safe. And happy holidays.
We've all complained or vented about something in our lives which, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't exactly a problem, or is very easily solved.
Then there are those who complain about things that others almost hope will happen to them at some point in their lives.
These are known as "first world problems", as they are problems that pretty much only the world's one percent faces.
From having to fly business class instead of first class, or being served Roederer instead of Dom Pérignon, these complaints are often met with amusement, bewilderment, or even anger.
Redditor jennimackenzie was curious to hear the most absurd "first world problems" anyone ever complained about, leading them to ask:
"What’s the most ridiculous 'first world problem' you’ve seen people get worked up over?"
"Tale As Old As Time..."
"I once knew a mom who was legitimately devastated, to the point of tears/grief, because a doctor predicted her 8 year old daughter's final height to be around 5'2","
"Which wasn't tall enough to get cast as Belle at Disney World."
"That was the child's (and her mother's) only dream in life, apparently."
"Didn't appreciate my suggestion that she could be Minnie or Mickey."
"Lol!"
"Only a face character would do!"- TravelLovingMom
"Must Be Funny, In A Rich Man's World..."
"My boss from about a decade ago was this insanely rich dude who always went to the bank to get fresh and crisp currency."
"He'd call the bank in advance to make sure they had some on hand."
"I think he was a germaphobe."
"He had a trash can that he'd throw $1 and $5 bills in that he thought was 'dirty' and regularly just donated it vs spending it."
"I asked him why he did this and he said it was too much trouble and asked if I wanted it."
"I said f*ck yeah dumped it into my bag and when I got home it was close to $400 in singles and fives.
"Another time, he wanted to upgrade all the computers in his studio, so we went to a store and bought 10 PCs."
"They all had $150 mail in rebates and he wasn't bothered to go through the trouble of mailing them in."
"3 weeks later I received $1500 after spending a whole afternoon filling out all those goddamn forms."- azninvasion2000
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Who Wore It Better?
"When I was about 19 years old, I was at my boyfriends family BBQ."
"I was wearing this pretty floral sundress."
"His cousins girlfriend showed up in the same dress and she was SO mad that she went and changed."
"I will never understand being upset when someone is wearing the same thing as you.'
"Did you really think that your shirt you bought off the rack is going to be unique to you?"
"No."- mertsey627
Seeing Red! Or Blue In This Case...
"The blue of the balloons wasn't quite the same as the bridesmaid's sashes."
"Years ago my wife and I attended a wedding."
"It was very low key."
"The dinner was in the dining hall at the university where the couple met, cinder block walls and all."
"It was a Baptist wedding - no booze and very serious."
"The dark blue balloons attempting to liven up the hall were a slightly darker shade of blue than the sashes on the bridesmaid's dresses."
"The bride lost here sh*t and absolutely raved for nearly an hour."
"I can't remember how they finally managed to talk her down."- mechant_papa
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See You In Court!
"Rich neighbors who end up in expensive court battles because they disagree about where a tree can be planted or whether the color of a fence fits in with the street’s 'amenity'."
'These disputes get really heated and rack up huge lawyers’ bills."
"The most pathetic part is after the judgement when they are arguing about who should pay the other party’s costs."
"Lots of affidavits filed citing the 'emotional distress' they had to endure, or painting themselves as brave warriors who were forced to take a stand to fight for 'justice'."
"Also lots of pompous litigants insisting that the judge refer to them by their 'Dr' title."
"An absolutely insane dumpster fire of entitled rich people problems."- ElectrocRaisin
It's Always People With Money Who Don't Want To Pay!
"I work in a public library."
"People will get so so mad if they have to be put on a wait list for a book."
"A popular book that just came out."
"Ok our services are not only free but so are the books."
"You’re welcome, a**holes."- Switchbladekitten
A Warm Butt Is A Happy Butt!
"My own."
"We have a bidet toilet seat (Fabulous! Everyone should have one!) and not only does it wash your bum and blow dry it, but the seat's heated!"
"It's shocking how much a heated toilet seat makes the whole process more agreeable."
"Except: We had a power outage and I went to use the toilet and the seat was cold!"
"Unacceptable!"
"This shall not stand!"
"I was really upset because it didn't feel good."
"Then I stopped and thought: This is the most first-world problem anyone's ever had."
"I was really pissed because my heiny was tepid."
"I got over it."- DeathGrover
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Holy Matrimony!
"Weddings are a gold mine for this question."
"People get so hyped up over their 'most important day of their life'."
"They'll destroy friendships, go into debt, and have crazy expectations."
"It's not always the couple who go crazy, either."
"Sometimes, it's the parents or another family member who feels entitled to control the wedding."
"It's just a party."
"Be considerate of guests, have plenty of food and drinks, and enjoy it."- magicrowantree
When Fast Food Isn't Fast Enough...
"Having to pull off to the side to wait for a drive-thru order to be brought out to you because your food isn't ready and there's a line building up behind you."- demanbmore
In Case You Don't Think Customer Service Employees Are Undervalued...
"I was working the return desk at a Target next to a military base so I have so many stories."
"One of my favorites was a lady who had her baby shower before revealing the gender and was livid that she had received floral newborn diapers when she’s having a boy."
"It was a huge box of super expensive, all organic diapers, that we didn’t carry and therefore could not return."
"I cannot accurately express her fury and disgust."
"How dare either suggest her boy could wear feminine diapers."
"I suggested she donate them if she didn’t want to use them and she instead threw away the entire box."
"When she left we pulled it out and threw it in our donate bin."
"There have also been multiple times where mom’s order massive toys and when we bring them out to the car they get furious that they aren’t wrapped."
"We don’t offer wrapping services."
"Here’s the thing, if you don’t want your kids to see the toys you got them for Christmas or their bit to day DON'T BRING THE CHILD WHEN YOU PICK IT UP."
'I’ve had multiple women scream and curse me out that I had ruined their kids Christmas by bringing the toys they ordered out to the car like they requested."- clever-mermaid-mae
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Happiest Place On Earth!
"I used to work for Disney."
"That in itself should tell you everything."
"However for fun I'll give you two specific stories one form our tech department and one from my wife who worked bookings."
"I specifically worked for their call center to help with technical issues with magic band and the website."
"Suddenly got worse huh?"
"A right of passage call everyone has at least one story of is the 'Dome call'."
"Basically there is a subset of Disney Guest (TM) that believes if it rains at Walt Disney world there is someone that will push a button to encapsulate the whole of Disney property in a dome to keep out the rain."
"I'm not kidding."
"If this button is not pushed they call our tech department to angrily ask why."
"My wife worked booking."
"Pretty much everything including Bibbidi Bobbidi boutique and Pirate's league."
"These two things did roughly the same thing difference being price and theme."
"BBB was expensive did more and was focused on princesses, pirates league did a bit less and focused on mermaids and pirates."
"Lady called up my wife, and got pissed about BBB being booked up (It goes FAAAAST)."
"Karen: 'Im going to give the phone to my daughter and I want you to tell her how you are ruining her vacation by not letting her do BBB'."
"Wife proceeds to explain how pirate's league is so much cooler and how she can be a mermaid or pirate and basically gets the kid to start demanding to their parents about how they want to be a mermaid instead of a princess."- trollsong
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The horror!
Being booked into a junior suite at Disney World instead of an executive suite!
It's almost as bad as having no money for groceries, or no food to feed you children...
Said absolutely no one.