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Four mistreated baby dolls are hung by barb wire

People Describe The Creepiest Things They Ever Witnessed As A Kid

These Parents Have The Most Unsettling Kids

These Parents Have The Most Unsettling Kids

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

These Entitled Jerks Made Us Rage

Sleepover Horror Stories

Sleepover Horror Stories

Distressed Adults Share Childhood Memories That Scarred Them

Distressed Adults Share Childhood Memories That Scarred Them

Distressed Adults Share Childhood Memories That Scarred Them

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We don't always see the bigger picture as kids. A lot of the times, stuff we accept as normal can actually be viewed as really creepy and terrifying when we get older (looking at YOU "Dinosaurs" series finale where the whole planet dies!). Other times, though, what we didn't see as kids can be something sinister and might break us as adults.

Reddit user, u/Ducknana, wanted to know what haunting us when they asked (TRIGGER WARNING: Some of these tales are brutal in their honesty):

What is a f***ed up memory you have from your childhood that you didn't realize was f***ed up until you grew older?

A Quick Pick Up

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I was a member at some country club where we all played tennis as kids. I was like 6 or 7 at the time this happened, but one of my friends needed to go to the bathroom. I was assigned to go with him so nobody would get lost or something.

As we were walking down, some dude just runs up and grabs my friend and starts forcefully carrying him down the hallway. He covered his mouth but my friend bit him or something and started screaming. The guy just drops him and runs off. At the time we thought nothing of it really and just kept walking to the bathroom. All the coaches were pretty f***ing freaked out when we mentioned it so they searched the building.

midgetmonkey383

Playing With A Balloon. What?

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Found a condom on the school ground. I thought it was a balloon. Brought it home, blew it up and played with it. Until my mom came home, and with a look of horror, asked where I got it. When I told her, she screamed at me to throw it away... I was so mad at her, because she wouldn't tell me the reason.

Nope, still can't laugh about it...

tinkrman

Birth. Day. Two Separate Words

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I was so poor as a kid we celebrated all birthdays on the same 1 day per year, and it was the best present ever: pop ice Popsicles.

I loved birth-day...yes, I thought birthday was a family thing, not every individual person...

clem82

What's Mommy Do For A Living?

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My mother took me and a friend of hers to a farm out in the middle of nowhere. She told me I can look at the chickens while she was inside the house with her friend and some guy that lived there.

Of course me being a little kid and mischievous I decided to walk along the house and look in the windows. In one I see my mom sitting on a couch watching tv. The next window is a the bedroom and I see her friend half naked with the guy. I don't think to much of it and just keep walking along the house. Few years later I realized my mother was a "madam" and her friends were really just sex workers.

Jojo1206515

Symbolism Is A Thing

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So I'm adopted. I'm black, my parents are white.

One day, when I was like 8 or 9 I was watching some old animated Lord of the Rings movie. The orcs were singing a song that went "Wherever there's a whip, there's a way". Well later that day, while doing chores, I was singing that part over and over. My mom, horrified, came and asked where I heard it and told me to never sing it again.

Couldn't understand why until I was older and realized how bad it would probably look.

ChiCBHB

Mom Wasn't Going For A Ride

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One day mum was in the garage reving the car for ages filling it with fumes, I came in and asked her what she was doing.

I now realise she was trying to end it.

Bucket-Bong

Not A Normal Punishment

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I was once casually telling a friend that once I was locked in my room with a bucket and no food or drink for two days to a friend and laughed at how gross it was.

His face went pale as he said "that's the most f***ed up punishment I've ever heard". It was then I realized how awful my childhood was.

slevylikeagirl

Abnormal Lockout

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I remember my 16 year old sister crying as she banged on the back door, begging me to let her inside, but I was 5 years old and afraid that if I did, mom would be mad at me instead.

Other times my mom would lock my dad out for things like coming home too late or looking at the neighbor lady too suggestively. Another time my sister stepped in between me and my mom, e while screaming, "She's just a kid!!" I thought this kind of drama (and unending guilt over being too afraid to help) was normal until I grew up. I'm still working on it, but I haven't seen my mom in person for 7 months now. I just don't have it in me right now to deal with her crap.

rabidhamster87

We're In Love With The Coco

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When I was a kid, my family had an all white cat that I loved... And his name was Coke.

At the time, I thought he was named after Coca-Cola. It wasn't until later in life I realized my favorite cat was named after a white substance.

michonne_impossible

A Shifting Personality

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My father was an alcoholic.

But I did not know this so I could not figure out why he was nice sometimes and cruel at others. I did not know why he would laugh at something I did one day and beat me for it the next. Or why he would hurt me by demonstrating army holds on me and not stop when I cried because he thought we were having fun. So many things like that happened before I finally realized he was drunk.

iggycat

It Just Doesn't Click

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When I was in preschool this girl in my class would always bring up disturbing events happening at home. I remember one time specifically when we ate lunch one day she casually completely out of the blue said "oh by the way, yesterday my dad slammed my mom into a wall". Throughout the whole year she told similar stories and I always forgot about it when we moved on to something else. It wasn't until a few years ago that it all came back to me and I was shocked that a poor 6 year old girl had to see this with her own eyes.

Ducknana

A Missed Encounter

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I was just starting my freshman year of high school, so I was 14. I can't remember why, I think marching band, but I was at the High School around dusk one night. I realized that my parents forgot about me, and everyone else had left and locked up the school. This was 15 years ago, so I didn't have a cell phone. My school was only a few miles from home in a nice suburban town, so I decided to walk home.

Partway home a guy in a pick up truck pulls along the road and yells out the window asking for directions to the mall. I didn't think anything of it, and told him. He then asked me if I could get in and navigate him there since he still wasn't sure. I was tired and wanted to berate my parents, so I said no and kept walking. It was only a few years ago that I realized he very likely didn't want navigational assistance.

And to be clear, I wasn't 14 looking 18. At 29 I get mistaken for 22, and at 25 I was mistaken for 16. Between my face and the way I dressed, I probably looked 11 or so.

I was super lucky that he didn't follow me, since soon after where he pulled over the shops and house grew really sparse, and it was getting dark. Thankfully my friend's mom saw me walking and picked me up a few minutes later too.

Still creeps me out to think that if I had been less mad or tired I may have gone with. I was very naive.

ICantWink

The Wrong Way To Deal

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My mom would get mad and slam her head on the wall.

I thought that was a reasonable way to deal with frustration, until I tried it myself and it really hurt (go figure). So I stopped doing that, but would punch walls fairly regularly hard enough to break a bone or put holes clean through the wall.

stop_being_ugly

Trying To Be Tough

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I would constantly electrocute myself. Mainly 110 volts and see how long I could take the pain. I thought I was some kind of superhero. Loved the comics as a kid.

Had to add this: THIS IS DANGEROUS. YOU CAN DIE. I was lucky. Chances are you will not be!

Truthhasversions

A Retreat To Hell

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Me and my family went to a retreat that was supposed to be of jesus or whatever. You know, the type where they sing and have you clap and stuff. And at the very end, "Jesus himself" comes out in a golden chalice thing and he "heals" people. Well during that ceremony, a mentally disabled woman started screaming loudly. I think she may have been scared as everyone was crying and screaming as well. But the priest went up to her and started screaming,"go away devil! Leave this woman alone! Leave!" What do you know the disabled woman didn't stop. So they had her removed from the room.

Needless to say, that was f***ed up.

Lil_Rio

Why, Daddy?

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My mom caught my dad cheating with a woman from an online gaming forum some time in the very early 2000s. They were sending each other vulgar messages. She read the messages out loud when she found them. I was about 6 at the time. I didn't realize what any of those words mean until about 10 years later when it just clicked. Eugh.

The part my 6-yr-old brain was most upset about was that his forum profile pic was from a family photo on the beach, but he cropped all of us out. Why didn't daddy want me in the picture? :(

smittywrbermanjensen

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From Your Site Articles

People Who Wouldn't Quit Their Job If They Won The Lottery Explain What They Do

Reddit user BITE_AU_CHOCOLAT asked: 'People who wouldn't quit their job even if you won the lottery, what's your job?'

lottery tickets
Erik Mclean on Unsplash

A lot of workers daydream about some day winning the lottery and being able to say goodbye to their job.

Far too many workers are unhappy with their job duties, workplace dynamics or company culture.

But with a taste for luxuries like housing and food, they keep plugging away, year after year.

However not everyone feels that way about their job.

So what are these compelling careers?

Keep reading... Show less
work

People Break Down The Biggest Bombshells Their Therapist Ever Dropped On Them

Therapist talking during session
Photo by Mark Williams on Unsplash

Some people stand firmly stand behind their beliefs that everyone would benefit from therapy and that therapy is life-changing.

It's because of the totally life-changing truth bombs their therapist had dropped during their sessions.

Curious, Redditor anonymiss0018 asked:

"What is a little bombshell your therapist dropped in one of your sessions that completely changed your outlook?"

Communication Issues

"'If you don’t have these problems with any other person in your life, why do you think you’re the problematic person in this one?'"

- maggiebear

"I love this. I have a 'friend' who I always seem to run into misunderstandings with. Every time we had a conversation, it somehow turned into a debate even if it was me talking about my day. The conversations were never easy."

"I always evaluate myself first and take into consideration his critiques. He was very good at convincing me that I was contradicting myself or wasn't good at communicating my thoughts."

"I NEVER had this issue with ANYONE else in my life. I kept trying to figure out where the miscommunication was coming from. In the end, I just minimized contact and now I don't run into this issue."

- chobani_yo

"I read this quote somewhere once (and probably have it a bit wrong): 'It's a waste of time arguing with someone who is determined to misunderstand you.'"

- Reddit

Emotional Regulation

"'You can’t control your emotions, but you can control what you do with them.'"

"At the time, I was a young adult who had learned zero healthy emotional regulation skills (only suppression and shaming) growing up, so this blew my mind."

- lil_mermaid

Tough Relationships

"'It sounds to me like you are trying to convince yourself to stay with your girlfriend. I'm not so sure it should be so difficult.'"

"At the time he said this, I remember it was like he said, 'The earth is flat.' I thought he was crazy when he suggested relationships don't need to be difficult. But eventually, I started to realize I was trying to change myself to stay with this person rather than just being who I am."

"It took me three more months to finally break up with her but from that day on, I vowed to never again abandon myself just to be with someone I had convinced myself was better than me."

- metric88

High-Stress Situation

"I was at a high-stress time, and I asked her how people live like this."

"She replied, 'Oftentimes they have cardiac events.' She said it as an urging to care for myself as much as possible."

- KittenGr8r

The End of Alcohol

"I was struggling with my alcoholism, and we were discussing how I had been cutting back."

"She asked what I would consider success, with regard to my drinking."

"I said I wanted to get to a point where it wasn't interfering with my daily life. I wanted to just be able to have a glass of wine at holiday dinners or family gatherings."

"She simply asked me why. Why was it important for me to drink at those times?"

"It was as if she'd turned on a light. Alcohol had always been a key ingredient in every family function, for my entire life. When I smell bourbon, I think of my uncle. When I smell vermouth, I think of my dad. Alcohol ran through almost every happy childhood memory."

"But, even more than that, I was very afraid of the explanation I'd have to give when family and friends asked why I wasn't having a drink. I had tried to quit before but failed. What if I admitted my problem, only to fall off the wagon?"

"When she asked why I didn't want to completely quit, it was the first time I saw that last part of the big picture. I'd be willing to drink myself to death in order to avoid being scrutinized, or judged for possible future failures."

"That was the day I quit. I've been sober since May 6th, 2017. 2,407 days."

- sophies_wish

Acceptance vs. Enjoyment

"'Accepting something doesn’t mean you have to like it.'"

"That took away a lot of my inner conflicts about situations because I could accept a situation without expending energy internally fighting against the injustice of it."

- alibelloc

Emotionally Immature Parents

"You are not responsible for your parents' emotional wellbeing. They are independent adults who have been on this earth for many more years than you."

- SmokedPears

Not So Lazy

"'Why do you think you're lazy?' Then she listed off all the things she knows I'm doing for my family, my job, and my life."

"It kind of blew my mind when I struggled to come up with an example."

"She also described family dysfunction as water. Some families are messed up in a way that everyone can see the huge waves across the surface. Others are better at hiding it, but there's still a riptide that you can't see unless you're also in the water."

"It made me realize that trying to keep the surface from ever rippling doesn't erase what is happening underneath."

- flybyknight665

The Harm in People-Pleasing

"'Why do you make people more comfortable when you are uncomfortable?' when talking about people pleasing and fawning."

- ERsandwich

Agree to Disagree

"'Stop trying to get everyone to agree. When you need everyone to agree, the least agreeable person has all the power.'"

This really changed my outlook on planning family events."

- freef

Grieve and Start Anew

"For context, I had a major TBI (traumatic brain injury), seizures, strokes, and all around not a fun brain time when I was 28."

"They said, 'You have to grieve the loss of yourself.'"

"Most people wanted me to go back to how I was. The f**ked up truth is that part of my brain is dead. The person everyone (including myself) knew died. I needed to grieve the loss of myself."

- squeaktoy_la

Multifaceted Identity

"They told me that my job and career is just a way to make money; it's not my life or identity. That took a lot of pressure off me."

- unfairpegasus

Breaking the Cycle

"They validated me."

"'You always talk about not wanting to do to your daughters what your mom did to you. You worry about it so much in every interaction you have ever had with them."

"But your children are 19 and 21 now. They are happy and healthy and they trust you because you’ve never abused them in any way. So I just want to validate for you that you really have broken that cycle of violence."

"You did that. And you should be proud of it. I’m proud of you for it.'"

- puppsmcgee74

The Grieving Process

"I was constantly bringing up how I felt like a completely different person after my mom died... like there was a marked difference between before and after her death."

"But once, she was asking about my hobbies, I got really into describing all the things I loved to do or at least used to do before I got into a deep depression."

"She was like, 'Wow, you seem very passionate.'"

"And I just sat there like, 'Well, I mean, I can't change what I like to do, they're still fun to do.'"

"And it's like she knew when to take a step back, because it was like, wow, I may be super depressed about my mom passing, but I'm still me. I'm still my passions and those don't go away."

"I don't know, maybe it only makes sense to be, but it really started getting me back on track."

- Hannibal680

Sharing the Load

"I've never really had friends. I've had colleagues and classmates and housemates and people who have hung out with me, but I never really felt close to any of them."

"And I did that thing you see on here sometimes; I stopped reaching out to see if I would be reached out to, and I wasn't, which I took as confirmation that they didn't really want me around, or at the very least, that they wouldn't mind my absence."

"I was talking to my therapist about people I'd been close to in college, and she told me to pick one and talk about him. So I did. After I shared some basic stuff like his name and his major etc., and a couple of anecdotes, she asked me what else I knew about him."

"And I couldn't answer. It wasn't really a broadly applicable bombshell, but she said, 'What else?' and I started crying because I realized that for as simple as the question was, my inability to answer spoke volumes."

"I've never had good friends because I've never been a good friend. I'm withdrawn and reserved and I always made others do the work to drag me out, without ever extending my own friendship in a meaningful way in return. If I wanted to have meaningful relationships with other people, I would have to build them."

"I'm still working on this, but I'm trying to make more offers and extend more friendliness to others in my daily life."

- Backupusername

The discoveries in this thread were incredibly touching and profound; it's no wonder these were lasting concepts for these Redditors.

It's important to keep ourselves open to inspiration and insights from others, as we have no idea how their experiences could help us, or how we could help them.

therapy

People Describe The Most 'Small Town' Thing They've Ever Witnessed

Aerial view of a church in a small town
Sander Weeteling/Unsplash

There's something comforting about living in a small town.

It's characterized by close communities where neighbors know each other by name and there is an abundance of kindness extended to others.

Gift-giving is a commonality, as is the sharing of recipes, and people going out of their way to help each other in a time of need.

The pace of living in small towns is also a striking contradiction to city life, where crowds of people go about their busy lives without much interaction.

Curious to hear more examples of what small town living is like, Redditor official_biz asked:

"What's the most 'small town' thing you've witnessed?"

These are positive examples of a tight-knit community.

Live Updates

"We have a village Facebook page. Every time the ice cream man drives into the village, the entire page goes ballistic. People send live updates of where the van is and which direction he's heading. The ice cream man has started accepting DMs so he knows which streets to go down."

– PyrrhuraMolinae

Brush With The Law

"I’m from a town of less than 2,000 people. When I worked at the grocery store there people would often drop off stuff for my family members because they didn’t want to drive all the way down to our house. I no longer live there but recently got a call from my daughter. She had been stopped for speeding and handed over her license and insurance which happens to be in my mother’s name. The officer goes 'Hey, you’re Donnie’s granddaughter! I ain’t gonna write you a ticket but I’m telling Donnie when I see him tomorrow cause we’re going fishing.' She replied 'I think I’d rather have the ticket.'”

- Reddit

Roadside Catchup

"The traffic on the 'main street' of my town is so sparse, two drivers going opposite directions can stop and talk to each other for a few minutes without causing any problem."

– anon

When things go wrong, people take notice without incident.

Bank Robbery

"A guy robbed a bank and everyone knew immediately who he was and the teller got mad at him."

– AlexRyang

"A local bank was robbed and one of the tellers told the police to bring her a yearbook from about ten years earlier and she would be able to point the robber out. He had been in the grade before hers in school."

– Strict_Condition_632

Wise Woman

"When I worked at the bank in town there was an older lady that had worked there through 5 mergers."

"She knew everyone, there was a young guy yelling at me one day. She walked out of the back and he immediately quieted. She went off about telling his grandmother that he was treating young women like sh*t. She also said that if he didn’t straighten up not one girl in town would ever marry him she would make sure of it."

– ilurvekittens

Intoxicated Local

"Town drunk was paralyzed and used a motorized wheelchair to get around. I was driving home one Saturday night and said town drunk was passed out in his wheelchair doing circles almost directly in the town square. Had to call his brother who came and picked him up on a rollback truck. Strapped him down and drove off into the cold dark night."

– DoodooExplosion

Grazing Over To The Bar

"In my former small town, there was an older guy who'd lost his license after getting a few DUIs. Every day, he would ride his John Deere lawnmower to the corner bar around 3PM and sit around watching TV and sipping his beer well into the night. Then he'd head the couple miles back home on his mower. He even had a little canvass shell he put on when it rained or got too cold."

– brown_pleated_slacks

It's not surprising how small town people behave differently than those who are from metropolitan areas.

Welcoming Committee

"I lived in a small town. When I moved there, people would ask, 'Whose house did you buy?'"

–MoonieNine

"Move to a small town. 30 years later, you are still the new guy."

– impiousdrifter

"I lived in a small town for most of my childhood but I wasn't "from there" because my grandparents weren't from there."

– raisinghellwithtrees

"Worked with an older guy, relative of the owner of the business, he was 73. I asked him if he was a local, he said 'no his parents moved here when he was two.'"

– realneil

A Busy Day

"Lived in a town of about 5,000: A woman walked into the DMV on a Friday, saw that there were 3 people ahead of her and left to come back another time when they weren't so busy."

– KenmoreToast

Who Let The Dogs Out?

"My dogs got out while i was working. the police called my niece's elementary school (she was a 5th grader) to get her to round them up and take them back home."

– mediocrelpn

"There was a small kennel behind the police station for runaways. They called us saying they had our dog, and moments later our dog showed up home. He broke out of jail."

– Worried_Place_917

While life in a small town sounds appealing, I don't know if I can ever live in one.

I'm so used to life in big cities, I think it would be quite unnerving to adjust in a neighborhood where everyone literally knows your business.

I would be paranoid.

And I'm sure the same could be said of life in the big city.

Would you consider making the switch to life in a different setting?

living

The Wittiest Things People Have Ever Heard Someone Say

Two women laughing
Photo by Dave George on Unsplash

Every now and then, a friend of ours might say something, or we might overhear a complete stranger say something that makes us stop in our tracks.

More often than not, what we can't believe we just heard is something so ridiculous, we can't help but put the person who said it in their place.

Other times, however, what we just heard might have stunned us silent because of how shockingly clever it was.

Resulting in our not wanting to scold or yell at someone, but rather give them a handshake.

Redditor SubmergingOriginal was curious to hear the sharpest and wittiest things they've ever heard, from friends and strangers alike, leading them to ask:

"Enough with the dumbest; what is the wittiest thing you've ever heard someone say?"

Don't Give Me So Much Credit...

'I was on a team at work that was on a project working insane overtime."

"One night after an 80-90 hour week, we were all sitting around the table trying to finish up so we could go home."

"Around 11, my buddy's wife called, dubious about the hours he'd been keeping."

"We heard her through the line - 'are you cheating on me?'"

"Exasperated, he looked at our boss, then replied 'honey, if I was cheating on you, I would have been home by now'."- lionbatcher

Eternal Optimism...

"Asked a blind guy if he'd been blind his whole life."

"He said 'Not yet'."- Feeling_Mode_6465

Free time Isn't The Only Thing He Has On His Hands...

"My brother got a vasectomy and when the doctor was releasing him and giving him instructions (with the nurse listening in), one of the orders was to 'come back and have a follow-up appointment after you’ve ejaculated 30 times'.”

"Without missing a beat my brother asked 'what time do you open tomorrow?'”

"The nurse couldn’t keep it together after hearing that."- UtahUtopia

Awkward Season 8 GIF by The Office Giphy

Double Whammy!

"My pal uses the phrase 'he doesn’t look strong enough to carry information' and it cracks me up every time."

"Calling someone stupid and weak in one fell swoop."- JennyW93

Can't Hide Your DNA...

'Whenever I jokingly insult my mum, she says 'that must be where you get it from'."

"She cracked the code."

"I can never offend her without offending myself."- JennyW93

Self-Sufficient!

"My brother was a line cook at a New Orleans restaurant."

"My mom was in town, staying at a fancy hotel, and he stopped by after work, still wearing his kitchen whites."

"He was reading a newspaper in the lobby waiting for her to come down when the shocked lobby manager sputtered at him, 'MAY I HELP YOU!?!?'

"He answered, 'thanks, but I know how to read',” and went back to his paper."- jobrody

Morph Current Affairs GIF by Aardman Animations Giphy

A Miracle!

"My brother-in-law’s comment."

"The entire family went out for my mother’s 80th birthday and after the meal we all went to a local park, largely occupied by the elderly, to rest."

"My mother needed crutches at this point, and they were resting against her bench."

"My 10-year-old niece, who looked like every starving waif image from Dickens, grabbed the crutches and started hobbling round the park."

"All the OAPs were following her progress with looks of pity until my brother ran up behind her, and kicked away the crutches."

"There was an audible gasp from round the park and then my niece picked the crutches back up and started chasing my brother, clearly intending to hit him."

"In the confused silence my brother-in-law’s voice rang out 'Praise be! She can walk again!'"

"We still think this was the highlight of the birthday celebrations."- DdraigGwyn

Still Legal, Whichever Way You Cut It...

"I picked up my pleasantly tipsy boyfriend from a nightclub."

"We were stopped by the Police for a random breath test."

"They asked me my age, and I said, 33."

"My bf blurted out '33? You told me you were 22'."

"Police just laughed and let me go."- Aggravating-Corgi379

Music Video Police GIF by Andrew W. K. Giphy

A Bit Too On The Nose?

"Business law class in college years ago, talking about the issues that black Americans had before the Civil Rights."

"Amendment, trying to travel through the south with the discrimination so rampant, trying to find restaurants to serve them and decent lodgings."

"My instructor was posing a hypothetical: 'So you pull up out front of this place, you're exhausted from driving for hours, and you see the sign out front says 'Ku Klux Klan Motel'."

"'What would you expect to find there?'"

"Without missing a beat, from the back of the room came this gem: "'Extra sheets in every room?'"- NedsAtomicDB

Not Yet, Anyway...

"I was working with my friend and his dad."

"My friend (26) heard an ice cream truck near where we were working."

"He asked his dad if he could have a couple dollars."

"His dad asked, 'what for?'"

"My friend told his dad that there was an ice cream truck in the neighborhood, and that they were playing music."

"My friends dad told him "'They don't charge anything to listen to the music'."- tatersalad1234567890

Words Escape You In The Literal "Heat" Of The Moment...

"A friend of mine is a teacher and her husband is known for his wit."

"She told this story to him:"

"One day at school a kid took the hall pass and returned reeking like smoke."

"She asked the kid if he’d been smoking and he denied it over and over."

"She was about to send him to the office when she noticed smoke coming from somewhere."

"She told the kid and he realized that he didn’t put his cig out completely and it was burning in his pants pocket."

"The kid noticed and frantically tried to put it out and someone finally poured water on it."

"Her husband sat listening to this with a weird look on his face."

"She asked him what was wrong."

“'What’s wrong???'"

"'This was probably the only chance you’ll have in your life to say literally, ‘liar,liar, pants on fire’ and you missed your chance'."- Luder714

On Fire No GIF by PEEKASSO Giphy

Amazing What You Might Say A Few Drinks In...

"When I went to a renaissance faire once, I went to a beer tent and ordered a Newcastle Brown Ale (seemed the most fitting for the surroundings)."

"The beer wench, without skipping a beat, said, 'Everyone wants a Newcastle - no one wants to remodel!'"- jayhof52

Read The Room People!

"My dad wiped out when skiing down a mountain and lost a ski."

"After a few minutes of hunting for it, he gives up, slings the one remaining ski over a shoulder and starts walking down the mountain in his ski boots."

"About half-way down, another skier stops and goes 'Gee! Did you lose a ski?'"

"My dad instantly replied 'No, I was out for a walk and found one!'"- PeterJoAl

There's a reason your mother always told you to "use your words".

As clever remarks can have a much more lasting effect on people than a push or shove.


witty