There's a lot to learn when starting a new job. Not just from the official training seminar you're forced to go to on Saturday morning at 7am when the sun is barely waking up and the coffee has become a lifeline from heaven, but from the on-the-job experiences. The knowledge you might need to survive would be too much to fit into one-day mandatory introductions, but you'll soon discover any workplace has its secrets you'll need to learn to manage to survive. On the other hand, there's secrets not even the bosses want you to learn, because if you do, then you might take to the internet to talk about them.
Reddit user, u/borborygmi_bubble, wanted to know about the most shrouded secrets when they asked:
FRA-GEE-LE. Must Be Italian.
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Your package will not be treated any differently if it has the fragile sticker. Sorry
Yeahbuwhat?
Unless you're extremely lucky and your aircraft just rolled out of the hangar after major maintenance, there will absolutely be something broken in it. An aircraft can have a whole host of parts be broken and still be allowed to fly, the broken parts just get labeled, recorded, and put on the to-do list for the next time it goes to maintenance.
Licensed Pee Tester
Don't know if this counts but not too long ago when I was working to pay for college I worked in a urinal manufacturer facility (it did other ceramics as well). They still use human pee testers to try out their new urinal designs. Apparently the machines they use for testing aren't as good as real humans yet.
Edit: to confirm I wasn't one of the pee guys. I packed ceramics. The peeing presumably happened at the testing place wherever that was. My boss said they just got people who worked there to pee and they measured sh-t like splash-back etc..
We Already All Agreed To Be Traced
Just how much you're being tracked across the web. It's not exactly a secret that there's tracking going on...people know that it's happening in the abstract. But most people don't understand the scale, detail and invasiveness.
For example, there's a very good chance that a website can determine your gender, race, age bracket and socioeconomic status on your very first visit. And many websites are tracking every click, scroll and mouse movement and sending many of them to the large providers (Google and Facebook, mostly). If most people saw the sheer amount of data about them that was being collected and shared, they'd be horrified.
"Soda. Boogers."
Not me but my aunt, she refuses to get fountain drinks from convenience stores. She said shes like this because of the inside of the soda machines, she calls them soda boogers really its just mold inside of the machine. Apparently the gas station she worked for only really cleaned the soda machine out once a year. Meaning they would just refill it but never would clean the machine
Not All Sizes Are The same
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Your weight hasn't changed, the clothing size ACTUALLY IS wrong.
We often had garment production quotas with a a min/max of 5%, i.e. - if a client wanted 1000 units of a design, the least you could ship was 950 and the max was 1050 units. Sometimes we would be short a few units for a specific size(A - not enough material, B - too many damaged pieces) and had a surplus of the next size up/down. To meet the quotas, we would swap sizing labels.
Now you're thinking, "How would this get past Quality Check (QCs)?" Well, when you have hundreds of boxes filled with 80+ pieces, you won't have time to inspect every single piece. You just skim a few off the top and move on, but what you don't know is that the pieces with altered sizes have been distributed evenly amongst the dozens of boxes of each respective size, and none is the wiser.
Not going to mention any specific brand names, but these garments are often sold at large chains like Macy's. JCPenney, etc.
Feels Like Glass, Bounces Like A Ball
When you buy stuff offline and it gets "damaged" during shipping there a good to fair chance someone was pissed off about something and they took it out on your package... the mentality that goes around is "ehh it's not my stuff". So if you have to shop online... be cautious and try not to order the heavy stuff
You Know Those Plastic Owls You Put On Your Roof? Like That.
If you see what looks like a big dead bird hanging from a cell tower, it's usually a bird effigy purchased specifically to hang there to deter birds from nesting. When (US) federally protected birds like ospreys or eagles nest on a cell tower, it severely limits the access to that tower, especially with nesting eagles. The fastest way to lose your job in the tower industry (besides a fatal accident, god forbid), is to get caught tampering with a bird nest without the proper permissions.
Anything Can Happen In Those Car Bays
Former mechanic. Most know we are paid a bonus based on how much business we do so we have a incentive to find issues in your car and act like it's a bigger issue then it is. The part most don't know is some mechanics will purposely damage stuff for customers who clearly can afford to pay for expensive repair. Add on that if you call out a fellow employee for any of this and let a customer know, you will be blacklisted as word will spread fast. This will make a entire education you paid for from a trade school worthless in your area and is why I'm a former mechanic.
Note: I am only really blacklisted locally and could get a job in a different place or perhaps even now as that was over 5 years ago but I have a new career in IT that also pays well that I am much happier doing.
Forgot to mention that this happen in the USA and can only confirm it happens in the USA where the laws allow a dealership to only sell one manufacturer/brand of car along with franchise laws so monopoly style shady stuff like this is allowed to happen. Because of this the smaller shops are almost always (key word, almost! and only if they have a local competitor) decent at least as their reputation is everything to them. One bad rumor spreads and they take a huge hit so the damaging stuff is only really seen in large dealerships which have the back up of car sales and insurance company preference to make up for any bad press or word of mouth. Still I should again emphasis this is only really a issue in the USA and I do not intend to bash mechanics, lot of them are good, hardworking people, and wish these practices of "look the other way" would stop.
For All Of Us In Retail
When we say "we haven't got it", we know that we haven't got it, we work here, this is our literal job, we don't need to "just check in the back."
And when we do "check the back", we're having a drink, catching up with colleagues, or even just standing for a few seconds, only to walk back out with an apologetic shrug and tilt of the head.
A Secret To Keep Hidden
There are a lot of nurses who are substance abusers. And there are more nurses that divert drugs than you would think. A lot of times they get quietly let go because that's easier for the facility they work at then pressing charges and reporting it to the state.
I think you can just say "healthcare professional." I've seen a lot of colleague substance abuse get tragically brought out in the open across disciplines.
LIES
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Burger King's veggie burgers are made on the same machine that makes the beef, so if they are using a drip pan to catch the burgers coming off the chain, your veggie burger is soaked in beef juice (grease.) Even if they aren't using the drip pan, unless they're testing temperatures with veggie burgers (they aren't) before lunch, the veggie burgers still come in contact with the beef. (The original ones that were made from around 2005-2019) didn't touch the beef at all.
That's why it tastes like a real whopper.
The Dispenser
I worked at a frozen yogurt/smoothie joint and we were never shown how to clean the juice dispenser (we made fresh juices to sell but had a juice machine - the same as a soda machine, more or less - to dispense premade juice for the smoothies as this was more efficient) until the health department stopped by for a visit.
I was asked how often we cleaned the insides and was direct about how we were never given instructions to do so, nor how. The inspector knew how, so we opened that mess up, and inside found not only the mould clumps you are describing but also bundles of dead and live fruit flies.
You can bet I then cleaned that freaking piece of crap like crazy, all the time, until the day I quit. Horrifying. I wouldn't be surprised if practices have returned to that level of negligence with whatever staff they now have (given myriad similar issues).
Know your Doctors...
I knew a guy who knew a doctor that got caught using drugs from the hospital's supply. He had to do supervised urine tests for a while. He ended up getting caught faking those because the tests revealed that he was pregnant. He'd been using his girlfriend's urine and a catheter to fill his own bladder with her urine.
"fixed"
I had a friend whose father literally made up a car part that was "out of whack" just to "fix" it for over five hundred dollars. He thought it was funny that the guy didn't know a lot about cars. I don't care how much you know about cars or how much money you think that guy makes, you're a nasty little con artist for a move like that.
The Teacher's Target
Teachers can be among the worst bullies to other teachers that you will ever meet. I was horribly bullied all through my training year, undermined, gaslit and generally made to feel terrible. She wasn't alone in this behavior, I've seen it since. It's left a massive mark on me almost a decade later, and despite great observations and good results from and relationships with my students, I still wildly doubt myself. I'm getting better, but it's taking a lot of practice.
Nandos....
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Former Nandos chef here, they buy the chicken for as little as 25 pence per whole chicken, pressure cook it for 7 minutes, leave them in hot boxes for up to 6 hours, add cheap chemicals instead of any actual spices and sell for roughly 20 times what they paid.
Tallied Down
I used to have a job where I had to check examiners' testing of school exams, basically making sure that they'd correctly added up their own tallies. We'd only check about 20% of exams to begin with and it was pretty shocking. Let's just say a lot of kids get marked down a full grade because of sloppiness. It made me wish I'd requested my own GCSEs and a level papers back.
Unclean
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Reminds me of a cafe I once worked at. I remember it was a slow day, so the other front worker and I were looking for literally anything to do, when I caught a look at the milkshake mixer. The mixer was fully external, but looked like it hadn't been cleaned in months. At least it gave us something to do for 20 mins? And that thing damn sparkled when we were done with it.
The Replaceable...
Artist. There's the easy dirty secret that is the industry abusing and under paying artists and forcing them to work insane hours.
Then there's the other one: we let them do it. Artists are very egocentric and don't really think about how their actions and cowardice in the face of negotiating pay and better working conditions sets a president for how crappy every other artist will be treated in the future. It's honestly something that disgusts me. We all love to bitch about how crappy the industry treats us but most artists I've talked to also say: well that's just how things are and you really shouldn't complain because you can always be replaced. Lol okay.
I decided early on that I was not gonna allow myself to be mistreated like that for my entire career. If I want better working conditions for artists it starts with myself and how I let others treat me. That isn't easy when you start out but it is slowly starting to pay off and though the nature of the industry (and humans in general) is to try and overwork and under pay you even after you set boundaries, it is YOUR job to negotiate with them and/or tell them no when they squeeze the lemon too hard. Because no one will do it for you and no one gives a crap if you sell your entire life to work for them for minimal pay. They will never value you if you don't value yourself.
Impossible Requests
In the translation industry exists the rule that any translation should be verified and edited by a second, independent translator. It's part of the ISO standard.
But customers demand ridiculous deadlines that can't possibly be met. Instead of saying that, it's common practice to just skip the editing step without telling them because literally lying and breaking contract is apparently better than telling a customer that their demands are just not possible to meet.
Trust Nothing
Hotel Housekeeper here!
There's almost always a bad housekeeper on staff and you never know when you're gonna get put in the rooms they clean. Ask for fresh sheets and towels when you check in. unmake the bed down as far as you can and watch for stains on the mattress pad, pillow protectors, and duvet. Duvets, mattress pads, pillows, and pillow protectors are usually only changed when visibly dirty or wet. Display pillows and blankets, and couch/chair cushions are even worse.
Don't trust anything unless you saw it come into the room clean.
Of the places I've worked The Marriott had the best standards but The Hampton Inn guarantees you a free night if you find ANYTHING wrong.
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Quality Removal
During the last week of open enrollment for medicare plans, one of the biggest health insurance provider in the USA removes all their quality teams (your "make sure they don't do illegal crap" team) to put on the phones to sell and then pushing illegal sales tactics in the name of speed and numbers.
Find an unethical law for over the phone sales, they violated it.
"close enough, nail it"
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With construction it is very common for people to take major shortcuts.. especially when working for national builders. I can't tell you how many times I've heard the phrase "close enough, nail it" in my short time of 4 months while working there.
Out it goes.
Post office (specifically mail sorting): Your letters can be eaten by our sorting machines, even super important ones. If the address becomes unrecognizable, we literally throw those letters out as they cannot be delivered. So whether it be your cheque, a bill, divorce papers, that letter from your little niece with a hand-braided wristband inside, that custom made hairpin you ordered from an artist online or birthday cards with money; If it gets eaten by the sorting machine, we can only try to reconstruct it, seal it and deliver it anyway but if not? Out it goes.
Quite often this happens randomly, just bad luck. But most of the times, it's because the letters are not according to the norm, aka they're too hard/unflexible/thick, they have foreign objects inside (such as coins, rings, other jewelry etc.) or too thin (a lot of brochures/flyers have that issue, they're made out of one single layer of plastic coated paper). These letters then jam our machines, which we use to sort hundred/thousands if not millions of letters every single day. Then the machine may tear them apart and even if the content is still fine, if we can't read an address (or even return address) there is nothing we can do.
TL;DR: If your letters get messed up by our automatic sorting machines and we can't read the address any longer, you/the recipient are screwed.
Mouthing Off
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Working in IT at a few different firms we had a habit of really bad mouthing the customers behind our back about how stupid they were.
Kitchen Nightmares
Every chef I've ever worked for knows that the second the government pulls into the parking lot, you yell "HEALTH DEPARTMENT," and everyone in the kitchen cleans everything spotless. Meanwhile, the hostess spends five minutes walking in a circle before coming back with the FOH manager who chats up the HD employee for ten minutes. During all of this, sous chefs are putting fresh labels on every container in the walk in, the butcher is putting all meat back in the fridge and then taking a twenty minute smoke break, all sani buckets are replaced, and everything is wiped down, swept, and mopped.
With a brigade of twenty people, a restaurant can go from failing to effortlessly passing. If you go to a full scale sit down restaurant and the inspection is sketchy, dude, that place is a damn Kitchen Nightmares level of disgusting. If you go to a small pizza place or Subway style sized restaurant, it's safe to assume they had zero time to prepare and the rating is close to accurate.
Speed Up
Fast food joints? Yeah they probably aren't following any of the hygiene protocols.
I worked washing my hands up to the elbow every 30 minutes, using the designated spatulas for different objects. Manager showed up with her hands unwashed straight out of her filthy mouse & keyboard, grabbed the burger I was making with her bare hands and assembled it in a fast and messy way. Said ''See? Like that. You gotta be faster.''
I was sorry for the client who was gonna eat that. So yeah, especially during this Covid crisis, be wary. Those places are way dirtier than they look.
The Dots
Realtor here. Builders can put little SOLD dots on any and all condos they want in a development. This convinces buyers that there are "ONLY A FEW LEFT!!" Meanwhile, barely any have sold.
A-HA Moment
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There big secret to therapy is that you, the patient, actually have to do things differently between sessions. In order to "change", you gotta change.
I swear it is like the surprised Pikachu meme when clients find out this information.
Day people
Daycare workers are severely underpaid and understaffed. Most staff don't even earn the equivalent of one child's tuition a year, let alone the 12-20 students in their class. The student:teacher ratio they tell you is a lie. There's high turnover because admin usually sucks.
When choosing a daycare, look at the staff. Are they happy, or do they look tired and overworked? Do the toys/materials look like they need to be replaced? If staff looks surprised when you walk in for a tour, there's zero communication going on between admin and staff.
Also ask for names of staff (most rooms will have 2-3 teachers). If they can't give you the names of 2-3 staff members who will consistently be with your child, the place sucks.
There is no distinction between daycare/learning center/"school". Just be happy that your child will be safely cared for while you work; some staff have an associate's or even a Bachelor's degree, but most only have a high school diploma or GED.
Taking Liberties
Nurses do not always follow doctors orders. Been a nurse for 10 years now and I've seen countless nurses be like "oh Mr. Smith won't stay off his call light and go to bed, I'm gonna give him some Ativan and a Benadryl tonight" Mr. Smith doesn't have orders for these meds so they sign them out from another patients supply and drug Mr. Smith.
They also frequently fake vital signs, pop meds without looking at orders, fake assessments, withhold meds out of laziness, fake notes to make patients they don't like seem more combative... all kinds of crap!
Most of this stuff goes unreported and management turns a blind eye because they desperately need staff.
High End Gross
Recently worked (also quit) at a high-class restaurant with HORRIBLE hygiene standards.
Glasses were all spotted and dirty, again forsaking hygiene for the sake of speed. Tables were COVERED with dry wax, once I cleaned a bunch of them to reveal a white color underneath all that, I THOUGHT THEY WERE BROWN AT FIRST. On top of this, during COVID crisis, they put up ''Table sanitized and disinfected. Wash your hands!'' sign on all the tables, and I can confirm they were lying their asses off.
I decided I was done with the food industry. They don't respect anyone's standards but their own.
Do Room Temp...
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Since I was a waitress a few years ago, I've learned not to trust the hygiene standards around ice and sugar cubes.
Enjoy that chocolate & wafer bar
I worked in a chocolate factory making bars with wafers in the middle. The chocolate has to be liquid when the wafer drops in. The wafer machine was on a bridge over the chocolate moulds. Someone had to regularly restock the wafer machine. To keep chocolate in that state it has to be hot. The people working in that hot room sweat. Sweat may or may not fall from the person on the wafer bridge onto the chocolate below.
Enjoy that chocolate & wafer bar.
Keeping the Sexy Fresh...
Hollister, Abercrombie, etc. hire employees and officially call them models so they can be discriminatory and hire the ones that they think are most attractive. They also only give employees a couple of shifts a week so that customers see new people working there regularly.
Gloves Off
In the blood and plasma industries. You don't change gloves anywhere near as often as you should. Frankly, it's because you have to work at a very fast pace and you can't get gloves on sweaty hands fast.
Misbehavin'
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The principal scientists in competitive research industries don't act like how scientists should.
Road Damage
Ambulances are not well maintained at all. They're on the road for 24 hours, often miss safety checks, documentation is falsified, and get subpar repairs done to get them "roadworthy" again.
I know a lot of people who like to buy ex-service vehicles thinking they've been looked after but it couldn't be farther from the truth.
Trays Up
The trays on the cinemas are dirty as hell, you'll be surprised on how dirty people can be. Technically employees have to wash them properly in the sink but sometimes, (specially weekends) there are so many people that they just use a cloth (that also gets pretty dirty after a couple of trays). I can't assure that this happens in every cinema but just take your precautions don't assume that they are clean.
Being Vocal
Most every vocal recorded has been tuned. All drum sounds have samples layered in. Guitars are most often blended from 3-4 different tones into one. All instruments and vocals have been edited to be more in time. Music takes a lot of artists a REALLY long time to make and most of it is helped in ways that aren't acoustic.
Craft Fail
If the artist feels the need to prove to you that the art is good, it either isn't or they don't think it is. When the artist explains what their piece symbolizes and how it should make you feel on their social media posts, they're often over compensating for what they perceive as lackluster craftsmanship.
Also, those overpriced low effort art pieces you see (and many mock) are probably being used to launder money.
Scrub Please
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Wash your produce. It has definitely been on the floor.
In a 'float'
Transfer money from one bank to another. Until 80's maybe early 90's(?) it was done by sending a magnetic tape in mail or courier, and it really took 2-3 days. Today banks are all hooked up and a transfer takes minutes if not seconds but the money still takes up to 2-3 days, the money are kept in a 'float' where the bank earns, and you lose.
Berry People
I used to work on a blueberry farm. Sprayed Roundup all around the rows, put fertilizer on stuff, harvested by machine.
The law in the state I worked said that after you go over the bush twice to harvest the ripe berries, any OTHER berries you get can be labeled as "wild" berries. So watch out in the store if you see them and have pictures in your head about tiny hidden blueberry patches in the wilderness. Nope.
Security Fail
Security guard.
In the event of an active shooter, we're not going to protect you. Our first priority is to locate the nearest exit and get out of the building; failing that, find the securest room we can & barricade ourselves in it.
This is for unarmed security; armed security may have different orders.
Retail
In retail they hardly hire anyone as full time if it means you will be entitled to benefits. They will also schedule you as a "split shift" say 1-5 and 6-9 so that they don't have to offer you paid breaks.
Know It All
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Your nanny knows everything about you. I know when you've been fighting, I know your embarrassing secrets, I know what your underwear looks like and when you're on your period or having marital issues. I spend 50+ hours a week in your home and whatever I don't see myself your kids tell me about it.
Useless....
ACI logistics Bangladesh. When you're shopping there, chances are you're buying useless crap 95% of the time. the salesmen get daily bonus if they can push sale to a certain amount.
All the Value...
Real estate assistants with little to no experience or knowledge often are the ones who, not only "calculate", but send you the message saying that your home has "gone up in value" and try to convince you to sell... nothing about these properties really has to change. The inflation is all so that people in real estate can make their money. Most of the time, that's the only reason housing values/prices "increase" without any kind of renovation.
Thrown About
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Your checked luggage at the airport gets freaking thrown so hard multiple times and if it says fragile or a guitar case, your screwed.
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What could possibly go wrong?
It turns out there are so many variables that can contribute to making the bride and groom's celebration a major matrimonial miss.
Curious to hear examples of weddings gone wrong, Redditor lolf**kno asked:
"Those who have been to a ruined wedding, what happened?"
Dramatic brawls and speeches plagued these weddings.
Catty Attendees And Booze
"Very beautiful wedding in a huge barn at this apple orchard. They must have spent a ton of money on the decorations and catering because it looked like something out of a magazine. The ceremony was great, the flower girl did her thing, the vows got everyone choked up. Everything seemed to be going well. Not even 15 minutes into the reception the mothers of the bride and groom getting into a full out brawl, hair pulling, red wine being thrown. Their sons jump in to defend their honor, chairs start being throw, tables are flipped, parents are grabbing children and running for their lives."
"​The bride and groom are horrified and leave immediately and head back their honeymoon suite. My fiancé and I left after this as well but we heard from some other friends that most people ended up staying and getting wasted at the open bar on the bride and groom's dime. Apparently, the fight started because one of the groom's sister complimented the bride's grandmother's dress. The bride's mom thought she was being sarcastic and called her a b*tch, then the drama ensued. Mind you they had all been pregaming the wedding pretty hard."
– AdmiralWackbar
Playing For The Drunk Uncle
"I played a wedding where as we started playing the set, everyone ran outside and nobody was to be seen for the rest of the night."
"I originally assumed it was because nobody liked us but the bride came in afterwards and said there was a huge fight involving multiple members of both families and everyone basically went home upset, injured or in a police van."
"We couldn't stop playing since we were payed and it was our job, and the only person watching was the drunk uncle dancing on his own asking for requests we didn't know."
– TornApartByLisa
Maid Of Honor Speech Goes Off The Rails
"Was a guest of friend of the bride, did not know anyone attending. Very expensive over the top place, several hundred guests of this very Italian wedding. Maid of honor grabs mic at the cocktail hour begins her speech, rambling, drunk. Quickly devolves to stating the recently deceased mother of the bride was against this wedding and that's basically what killed her. Plus Vinny will never give up sex workers. She is tackled by several people and dragged away."
"The happy couple is separated and divorced within a year."
– Rocky1268
This is what happens when bad luck crashes weddings.
Tumbling Into The Sunset
"I work at a golf course with a lot of history behind it. We do wedding venues inside the clubhouse and the actual ceremony is held outside by the historic water fountain and large pond."
"First problem was the weather. I live in the high desert and it was very warm. A solid 90 degrees that day and it was also pretty windy. So everyone's outside, no umbrellas, no ezups."
"The next problem, and probably the worst, was the golf cart incident. The bride and groom wanted to 'ride into the sunset' on one of our golf carts. Drive around a little bit on the golf course. To be fair, it is beautiful on the course during sunset. However the cart had somehow gotten a nail in the tire, tire went flat, battery on the cart went crazy and the cart ended up freaking out. It came to an complete stop from 15mph to zero. The wheels and mechanisms locked up, almost seizing. Both the bride and groom (fairly overweight mind you) both fell out and rolled over a few times. They were totally okay, just a few bruises and perhaps a bruised ego or two. So retrieving that cart was fun."
"And last but not least, the power inside the clubhouse went out to do the high winds. There was no after party available. Only the cake was cut, hardly any food was given out. Yeah, not a great day to cover for someone on your day off."
– Itsallover_
Foggy Memory
"I was not born yet, but my parents rented the observation deck on the Hancock building in Boston for their reception. Tallest building in the city, beautiful view. My dad pored over historic weather charts to figure out what day was statistically most likely to be nice out. Day of the wedding comes and of course, thick fog unlike anything they'd ever seen before. Couldn't see a thing out the windows of the room they had picked specifically for the view."
"Worked out well though, they were happily married for nearly 30 years before cancer took my dad's life a few years ago."
"There's one other funny anecdote from that wedding: The wedding was held in Kings Chapel, which is an incredibly historic church here in downtown Boston that's somewhat of a major tourist attraction. To close that on a weekend afternoon for a wedding, it turns out, was not very expensive. The tourists waiting outside to see the church didn't know that, though, and someone started the rumor that my parents were incredibly wealthy, maybe even Kennedys. As a result, there were tons of people taking photos of them when they left the ceremony. Not sure if any of them ever figured out that my parents were most certainly not rich or famous."
– mimicthefrench
Morbid Surprise
"I was best man at my sister in laws wedding (stepped in for the brother of the groom, that's another story entirely)."
"For a whole year of planning all the bride (SIL) wanted was a dove release while they said handwritten vows to each other. Very small, non denominational (most of the family are atheist anyway) wedding."
"Day arrives (early summer) and something is off with the bird handlers. They show up a bit late and are sourcing help from the wedding party to get everything in line. When the time comes to say their vows I help the handler carry the chest with the doves in it over to what is to be the altar where the bride and groom are standing."
"Vows are just about wrapping up and the handler gives ME the signal to open the chest. I open it and see 20-30 DEAD DOVES IN THE CRATE!!!! I immediately close it to try and limit who knows what happened. Too late. The look of horror on the bride's was all that was needed. We spent the next few hours trying to cheer everyone up but by the end of the reception the entire wedding party had organized and filed animal cruelty complaints on the handler. It was all anyone could focus on."
Tragic losses unfortunately befell leading up to or at a couple's nuptials.
The Wedding Guest Who Left Too Soon
"When I was 6 or 7 I went to a cousin's wedding. Everything was fabulous for little me, so much sugar everywhere, basically heaven. The reception was in a big community center that was reserved for the occasion. Went to the girls' bathroom, passing by the men's room to see my uncle on the floor. Went back to the main room to tell my dad my uncle was looking weird. Well, uncle had a stroke and had died."
"The bride spent the rest of the afternoon crying, and everyone except close family left."
"Bright side is the mariage is still going strong 20 years later, despite what happened that day."
– DecadentOrange
A Terminal Diagnosis
"Leading up to my friends wedding his father had been battling cancer after a terminal diagnosis. And it was touch and go whether he would be well enough to attend the wedding, in the end he was too unwell to attend despite wishing that he could."
"Just as we got to the wedding reception my friend was informed that his father had just passed away. It was devastating."
– boatson25
Wedding Crashers
"Happened to my classmate. He is successful middle level manager, divorced, about 35yo or so. Found a girl of his dreams but from a provincial poor town. The girl insisted to have the wedding in her town to show off her 'success.' The wedding is crashed by her old friends including male friends who are not that sophisticated and have some tense feelings towards the successful groom from the city. Somebody starts a fight in the middle of wedding, groom is trying to stop it and got stabbed in the back. Died right there. And he was my classmate."
– anarchyinuk
​An Unfortunate Trespassing
"The wedding was at a state park that's famous for its giant gorge/waterfall. I don't know whose idea this was, but someone suggested a photo overlooking this gorge and everybody was game. The wedding party went around a stone security barrier and the maid of honor literally fell off the cliff to her death. It was like 500+ feet."
– SingzJazz
With a lot riding on a wedding to go off without a hitch, the mounting pressure is one where something is surely to buckle.
And because wedding guests are usually inebriated and high on the buzz of celebration, they throw caution to the wind and make some choices they wouldn't make under normal circumstances.
People's ill-advised actions can have regretful consequences, but no one expects death to be an outcome.
Fortunately, the weddings I've attended or heard about from friends were not as catastrophic as the anecdotes mentioned above.
While the Redditors' stories are sorrowful, it gives me a sense of relief these devastating examples are rare occurrences.
Have we met? That is an actual question I asked a gift giver once. (Who shall rename nameless) Football tickets. FOOTBALL TICKETS?! Who? What? I can't.
Looks Familiar
Broad City Wow GIF by Comedy CentralGiphy"My own scarf. Yes, that's right, my mother went into my room took my only scarf, wrapped it and gave it to me like it was a new scarf."
Devastation!
"Thought I was getting a bike for my 15th birthday but my foster parents announced that they were sending me to a group home after living with them for 11 years. Devastation! That place was a wake up call. More independence then at my foster home but those kids had it really really bad, 12 year old heroine addicts, abuse... what the entire hell! I hurried up, graduated from high school at 16 and got the hell out of that place. I turned out ok, work in the legal field, live in Las Vegas. I did forgive my foster parents before they died."
The Forgotten One
"My brother and I worked for a farmer one summer, and he paid us with a used car. At the end of the next year, my brother graduated high school, so my parents paid me out for my half of the car, and that was his graduation gift. I gave them all a big discount compared to what it was worth. So like $500 for my share of a $2500 car."
"2 years later, and I needed $50 for some graduation fees, so I borrowed it from my mom until I could get to the bank. (Before mobile banking and ATMs everywhere.) Later, when my mom is telling me they invited all their friends over for a 'graduation' party, I asked if they had gotten a gift for me. "Well I gave you fifty bucks."
"I paid it back the next day, and she didn't blink. The 'graduation party' was just my parents friends, who said congratulations to me, but it wasn't really for me. A few years later, my little sister graduated, she got a car. They bought a used car for her, and our other little sister got the same when she graduated. My parents are mostly nice, and I never felt like they singled me out at birthdays or anything. Just my graduation seemed like I turned invisible."
Office Party Fail
"HR complaint from two subordinates fighting over how to throw me a surprise birthday party."
- BBoySlim
"I've never worked in an office environment, but the stories I've heard of people being required to buy a cake for the whole office and to celebrate their birthday with their coworkers would be enough to keep me in blue collar work for life, were it not for the fact that I love being active and working with my hands and could never sit at a desk all day anyway."
Basics
law school finals GIFGiphy"My Asian mom's gift was "no extra Kumon homework after school homework" so my birthday gift was that I didn't get extra homework from her."
Regifting is trash behavior. Do better. I'd rather you just say I forgot. Or... I just don't care for that much. But regifting? No.
season 4 lint roller GIF by Veep HBO
Unlucky 13
"Stomach flu and my first ever period, at the same time. I think it was my 13th birthday."
- kelpself
"Omg, exact same story for me. It was my 13th birthday and my family took us kids to visit our relatives in Subsaharan Africa for the first time. I was sick, jetlagged, overheated and riding down a bumpy road in a Jeep driven by my dad in the complete darkness. We had just eaten at a restaurant where I found a giant scarab beetle in the bottom of my soup bowl. I have flashbacks to this day."
Lazy Thoughts...
"My grandparents have been gifting me (and my brother) the same set of three vice grips for almost 10 years. Collectively we have 60 vice grips. I don't know if they bought a pallet of them, or where they are coming from. GET A GRIP GRANDMA!"
"I had a friend who's father was famous for doing Christmas shopping at the last minute. One year she complained that she went downstairs on Christmas morning and found, sticking out of her stocking, a spatula. Her birthday was a few days after telling that story, so myself and her friends all decided to get together and get her spatulas for her birthday, as a gag gift."
"Well, when it was our birthdays she retaliated. Which lead to a counter-offensive. And soon a new tradition was formed. And guys, I have so many spatulas now. Everything from dollar store cheap plastic, to hand-carved spatulas, a golden spatula, and even a replica of the famous Malaysian fighting spatula."
"I've got seasonal spatulas. As in, today it's time to pack away the Christmas spatulas and bring out the heart-shaped Valentine's day ones, followed by the bunny-shaped Easter ones. We've also been passing around this clip from the Weird Al Yankovic movie UHF. "Spatula City, we sell spatulas, and that's all!"
Their ultimate whack-a-doo move...
"A pair of homemade custom pajamas. Only problem was that they weren't made yet. It was just the fabric and a promise to make them for me. I had to give the fabric back and I never got the pajamas."
"Holy cow my parents do crap like this. It's so freaking weird. Their ultimate whack-a-doo move was to give my wife and I a few acres of their property."
"Nothing legal just at our wedding they gave us a card that basically said 'have some land.' When the dust settled I asked what they thought we would do with it, they said build a home. I said ok, gonna need legal ownership for like building a house. They said sure we will get right on that. Then they decide to sell out and retire and never mentioned our wedding 'gift' again."
Gross...
Disgusted Steve Carell GIFGiphy"My grandma got me a hairbrush with a plastic horse head handle. The horse head was all chipped up and there was hair in the brush."
Bummer...
"My Godfather sent me a Birthday card each year which said, he paid 100 bucks to a bank account which I was supposed to get, when 16yo. He then got into alcohol, used all the money and died."
Oh for God sake, why even bother giving anything at all? Lint rollers, used brushes, homemade pjs... y'all ever hear of a gift card? Just put five bucks on it and call it a day. You can't hide cheap, so stop trying.
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I definitely wouldn't turn down an excursion to AREA 51. I'd like to poke around and get a sense of the place. I've never personally been up close and face to face with a "non-Earther." Not sure I'd like to be...
TV Truth
x files monkey pee GIF by The X-FilesGiphy"UFOs/Aliens are a cover for all of the secret projects that the government is working on. Actually stole that from the X files."
Birth
"How human birth parallels alien abductions:
- Babies are taken from their home (womb)
- They still developing sight, so they see bright lights and grey figures.
- They hear an "alien" language they don't understand.
- They suddenly feel cold after leaving their womb.
- They are in a surgery room being poked with tons of instruments.
Long story short: some people suggest that abductions are just people who had memories of their birth."
In the Mind
"I just don't think anyone will ever see this. But I think that UFO's are the projection of our unconscious collective mind. Everything that exists in reality, also exists, in our immaterial mind. Is it possible that the insides of our mind are also just one drop in the ocean of consciousness... and together we create the material reality were in, simply by experiencing it in a real way, inside-out through our senses."
Flyover...
"My father was an aircraft mechanic and fabricator for test and spy aircraft for the USAF. He spent 75-85 working with test aircraft. He said that when they were going to do a test, that could possibly be seen by the public, they would make a betting pool on how many UFO reports local authorities and flight towers received."
Under the Sea
sci-fi ufo GIFGiphy"I like the idea that some UFOs aren't machines. Instead they are some sort of Upper-Atmosphere Jellyfish. I found the issue of Fortean Times that had this article. Here's the cover: http://ft.gjovaag.com/q/images/a/ae/FT291.jpg"
- BigD1970
Interesting. There are some ideas we can look into. None of it proof, but possibilities. There are certainly plenty of future film ideas.
Like 2012...
"We are like that un contacted tribe and everyone agrees not to bother us."
"I've heard it explained from a channel (idk if you know what channeling is) kinda like this. First of all, we as a species tend to freak out, shoot first and ask questions later. Most humans would have a literal psychotic break. You have to believe in vibrational energy as it relates to our consciousness."
"The aliens (certain ones) are at such a higher level that it would be jarring for us to come in close contact with. We are slowly getting there but it's a process. Like 2012, end of the Mayan calendar, wasn't the end of the world it was the end of an energy cycle that we as the human race had never made it past before."
"Previous civilizations have been destroyed or destroyed themselves before they got this far. We passed a point where we are very unlike to destroy ourselves anymore. This doesn't mean we won't see some real bad hardships yet but we will keep progressing."
- falecf4
"train your eyes"
Dancing GIFGiphy"I was a firm believer in t em when I was in high school and kept googling theories and info in my spare time and during my study halls. They said their bodies were so lightweight or something that the reason why you can't see the evidence is that they disintegrate before hitting the ground."
"And then LOL it was so funny, some people would swear you could "train your eyes" to see rods... HhhahAHAHAHA. Like there were these experts. Video showed him walking around with a serious face, then pointing. And he's like, "that was one just there." "You can't see them, you have to be used to them... like me."
"I've spent many years immersed into hunting them finding them. That's why I can see them." And then one day China, who loves occult stuff, had like a lab that set up a nighttime camera to capture footage of rods at night... then realized they were normal bugs at overexposure. lol"
Lurking
"The Dark Forest theory. Basically the theory that the reason we haven't made contact is because all the other civilized life in the universe/galaxy knows not to broadcast their location. They've learned that there's something awful or predatory lurking in the dark forest of our galaxy, and that it's better if they keep to themselves."
Unknowns...
"That the universe is so vast that we haven't been discovered yet."
- neoastic
"This makes sense to me because traversing the distance to or from even our our stellar neighbors would require technology that is not known to us now or likely to be known by us anytime soon if it's even possible at all. To assume without evidence that aliens could possess this technology and have visited us does not meet my skeptical standards."
- KZED73
Back and Forth
back to the future great scott GIFGiphy"Time travel exists, and UFO sightings are actually future humans coming back to our time. That is why they are so discreet, and never openly make contact."
I hope time travel exists. Now that I'm onboard for. If aliens do exist... just come on out guys. We could probably use your help.
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