People Break Down The Most British Insults They've Ever Heard

Blimey.... and crumpets.

Oh the Brits, they are a saucy and sassy bunch aren't they? They are far more free wheeling and fun with everyday language and conversation. Everyone else is so uptight and proper all of the time. Let's be more British. Of course then we'd never know if we were being insulted or congratulated; but that is half of the fun. Listening to the British people hurl insults is like a masterclass in subtle reading and rage combined. I've never been so insulted and simultaneously entertained.

Redditor u/Redditfrie wanted to discuss all those beautiful British slangs we love to bandy about by asking..... British people of reddit, what is the most british insult you can think of?


BEWARE>>>>> Much of the content below isn't for the kiddies.



1-

french stereotypes GIF by CheezburgerGiphy

Knob.

DirtySingh

Also, consider some of the variations; knobhead, knob cheese, knob gobbler...

seaandtea

When I read in a recipe recently that called for a knob of butter, I immediately felt insulted. 😂

therealub

2-

My English boyfriend said "Screw off you coffin dodger!!" Meant to be shouted at old people.

Neither994

Oh I'm gonna keep this one in my arsenal! Mostly because most old people where i live have no clue what it means.

Karsdegrote

3-

bike GIFGiphy

Jog on you tosser.

oknh

As a Brit, I don't hear this enough anymore.

Similarly: "on your bike, bellend!"

Sees_Walls

4-

You complete and utter twat.

pete_spiderman

Dunno if its an American thing or just in my area, but I've only ever heard it pronounced "twot" before. I could be wrong but I think in the movie Easy A its pronounced like that as well, but I don't know why that even comes to mind.

anything1997

5-

angie imacelebau GIF by I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! AustraliaGiphy

What a numpty.

CarefulComparison

"That's my girlfriend, you numpty!!" Is my favorite Harry Potter quote.

Sam57765

6-

Do one you bloody pillock.

HandLion

I'm American and I tried using the word "bloody" one time and my brother told me to STFU cause this wasn't Harry Potter. :(

LolaBunnyHoneyBee

7-

Enough Pulling Hair GIF by OriginalsGiphy

You're getting on my tits.

Malfoof51

It's a cruder equivalent of 'you're getting on my nerves'. Said by guys and girls.

crashlanding87

8-

Well, nearly anything can be a British insult when you put the word "Absolute" in front of a word.

For example, I could say: "You absolute doorknob" and it would sound like an insult!

PlayfulJellyfish9

Same goes for "complete and utter".

Eg: "you complete and utter muppet".

Also: muppet.

CologneTrooper

9-

Neo Yokio Giant Toblerone GIF by walter_Giphy

The Scottish do this really well.

I was working in Scotland last year and standing at the bar in a hotel. It was quite busy, and they were a bit drunk and loud.

The guy at the back keeps pushing his mate, telling him to move forward when he turned and said "I canny occupy tah same space as him you Toblerone".

I laughed so hard I nearly cried!

PaulBag4

10-

Reminds me of a Michael Macyntire (I think?) bit where he suggested anything can be used to replace "drunk" when you're British.

"We got proper bungalowed last night."

"Jessica was completely and utterly side tabled yesterday."

Shakezula123

11-

crazy homer simpson GIFGiphy

My friend calls people "absolute watermelons" and I love it.

Lababy91

You don't really even have to put anything after absolute.

"OH you ABSOLUTE.... trails off in disappointment*

DankFloyd_6996

Pat-Pat

Was at a limmy book reading a couple of years back where a bunch of drunk teens kept shouting it out loud for no reason. Everyone round them were just telling them to shut it. I reckon it's gone from "heh, that's quite funny" to "freaking honking patter" in a lot of people's minds.

mathamhatham

And you Ma?

Cocina Mauricio GIF by Avon MexicoGiphy

Ya dad sells Avon!

dgw25

Yer da guards statues.

oundcosy

Under rated!

bos_well_

Rhymes with Jerk

What a berk. Not used as much nowadays but I still like it. Same with the insult "pleb".

SM_83

Berk has fascinating origins. I believe it comes from Cockney Rhyming Slang (poetry) short for Berkshire Hunt... as in, C*nt.

So Berk is a totally mild and generally acceptable way of saying C**t.

My gran called my a bloody berk once. Great.

seaandtea

Treasonous Ways

bonnie gordon GIF by AlphaGiphy

When I was angry at my mum once she tried making me a cuppa tea, so I took it and poured it down the sink.

_becatron

Legally speaking, according to the magna carta you are no longer British after committing such an act.

fullicat

Glassworks

Not seen window licker yet?

Hawk_The_Slayer

I know right. I'm so far down looking for it... and then I found you.

And just between us... my fave thing of the week was a photo of a frosted up windscreen with MONG written on in massive letters... and the caption, I can't believe someone just did this to my car... it took me 30 minutes to lick it off.

I hate myself for laughing.

seaandtea

Move Along

carpool karaoke adele GIFGiphy

Sod off, you prat.

James99500

I love the phrase dozy prat, so add that and that's perfection.

friggintodd

Fur and Liquor

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries.

Aksi_Gu

There is some deeper meaning to this, hamsters breed indiscriminately and elderberries were commonly turned into booze...

dt030

Mags

can't wait meryl streep GIF by MauditGiphy

I have an older Scottish friend who said her mother used to call everyone she didn't like a "bloody Maggie thatcher."

shedoesthatsometimes

Loss of Nice

I'm not British, but I used to date a very prim and proper girl from Cambridgeshire.... she was embroiled in a feud with a workmate for a while during our relationship, and at one point things got so bad that they both stopped using "kind regards" at the end of emails and just switched to "regards." It was brutal.

Beans_ON_Toasttt

REDDIT

Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.

Album and turntable sitting beneath window
Photo by Travis Yewell on Unsplash

With millennials now reaching their thirties and forties, many are looking back on the childhood they had compared to the ones they're witnessing now.

With technology advances and a constant need to impress, these two worlds of childhood are undeniably different.

Keep reading...Show less
Man at the airport watching a plane taking off
JESHOOTS.COM/Unsplash

Now that pandemic protocols have been lifted for the most part, inexperienced travelers should take advantage of the time to visit places they've always wanted to see or dreamed of seeing in lockdown.

Unfortunately, a myriad of excuses can delay one's inclination to wanderlust–including a lack of finances and a fear of the unknown.

But thankfully, Reddit is here to prove it can be a great resource for travel information that isn't generally known to the public.

Keep reading...Show less

History is made on a daily basis.

Indeed, there is little more exciting than having witnessed the accomplishments of people like Barack Obama, Stacey Abrams, and Greta Thunberg knowing that they have firmly reserved a space for themselves in history books.

Of course, most of the people who paved the way to make the world what it is today have long since passed away.

Not all of them, though!

It may surprise you to learn that there are people who made an indelible impression on history who are still much alive today.

Some of whom even continue to make a difference to this very day

Keep reading...Show less

We all indulge in fast food from time to time.

Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.

Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.

Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.

We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.

But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.

Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.

Keep reading...Show less