We have to admire the snappy, caustic wit that enables people to issue scorching remarks without so much as a blink of their eyes.

Looking for the perfect sentence to shut someone down?

Do you really need someone to just leave you alone or get in line?

If you're loking for a snappy comeback, you've come to the right place.

People shared their thoughts after Redditor BerNA9 asked the online community:

"What's the best insult you know?"

"High school debate teacher..."

"High school debate teacher walked past me and a friend lounging in the hallway and said, 'Good morning Salem and Friend. I drove past a pile of trash this morning and managed not to think of you.' And then he walked away."



What did you two do to deserve that one?

"I've seen better arms..."

"I've seen better arms on a chair."

"Step-dad absolutely crushing the dreams of a friend who had been working out trying to put on muscle."


Something tells me he needed some aloe for that burn.

"I'm slightly overweight."

"I'm slightly overweight. A friend asked where I was and someone replied, 'Probably stuck in a door somewhere.' Even I couldn't stop laughing."


Okay, that's pretty quick and punchy, I'll have to admit.

"There is this really old guy..."

"There is this really old guy (in his 70s) and this really really annoying guy that work with me. One day the annoying guy ran off some where and the old guy in passing was like, 'Hell, if you gave him a crayon he'd probably eat it.'

"It was one of the best things I've heard someone say, his delivery made it better. He was just so over it."


I bet he was! Can you blame him?

"I was in a bodega..."

"I was in a bodega with these terrifyingly popular looking teen girls, and one of them snapped at the other, 'Ok, how about talk to me when your ankle socks match.'

"Like...the SPECIFICITY made me want to die just having received contact burn and I'm a fully grown woman with a baby and a mortgage."


Teenage girls are quite savage with their burns.

I think that deep down we're all afraid of them.

"Pretty damn sure..."

"My husband and I talking with some guy at a gay bar. Pretty damn sure we didn't know him from Adam. He insisted that we had met him in the past."

He says, 'How can you not remember me?'

Hubs: "Don't take it personally, I've forgotten people far more memorable than you."


Oooh ouch.

I think I'd need to leave the room after that one.

"Saw this..."

"Saw this on Reddit but I love it so much. “You’re twice as dense as a black hole but just as bright” not a everyday insult but on rare occasions it’s great."


This one is clever and sure to make you the envy of dinner party guests.

"She was mortified..."

"One time I watched this girl flirting with this guy at a bar in New York. He had been talking about his cool job and how great he was and she just fawned over him. At one point he took a break from talking and she asked him for a cigarette. Without missing a beat he said "Ew, how middle class..."

"She was mortified and he instantly stopped talking to her and moved onto her friend."


What in the world?

Honestly, it sounds like she dodged a bullet.

"For someone..."

"For someone who is completely in the wrong: "I'd try and see it from your point of view, but I can't get my head that far up my own ass."


This is brilliant and I am keeping it in my back pocket for use later.

"There are approximately..."

"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair."


How passionate! How whimsical! It checks both of these boxes!

It's safe to say that we all need to step up our insult game. We're all severely lacking in this department. It seems pretty apparent after reading some of these.

Have some suggestions of your own? Feel free to share them with us in the comments below!

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