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Bisexuals Share The Differences Between Hooking Up With Men And Women

Bisexuals Share The Differences Between Hooking Up With Men And Women
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Women and men truly are a separate species, each with our own quirks and personalities. While that could be chalked up to individual upbringings combined with societal norms, there also may be something biological at play.

However, sometimes it's easier to meet the person and see what they're like. Bisexuals fortunately have the privilege of interacting with both sexes on an intimate level and, thanks to the internet, reveal the knowledge they've discovered.


Reddit user Rob-ThaBlob wanted to know:

Bisexuals of Reddit what are the differences between having sex with a male and a female?

It's All In The Intensity And Power

"I'm a man, and I like both, being with a woman is fun and passionate and smooth, being with a guy is hot and wild, and a lot more intense. Just my opinion."

fosterprice9

"Top or bottom in M/M?"

TheFlacidM

"I would consider myself a bottom, Most of the men I have been with have been more aggressive which I like and naturally I respond to a more submissive nature, I find it very fun to not be in control and see what happens, when most of the men I've been with have been much stronger than I, I like to be in control as much as I like to be out of control. I love being with men either way."

fosterprice9

You Know The Set-Up Pretty Well

"In my limited experience I've found that sex with other women is kind of easier. I've just had more practice with vaginas, I know what feels good for me and (so far) it translates easily to what feels good for other women. Sex with men isn't any less pleasurable, it just takes longer for me to figure out what feels good for them, especially since men tend to be less vocal in bed (which is a huge bummer, please don't be afraid to make noise to let your partner know they're doing something right)."

"Spending time figuring out what a new partner likes can be fun too, but with other women I always feel like I've got a head start (wink wink)"

caimanteeth

Primal and Instinctive

"The differences for me personally are that with men I am more submissive but with women I am wayyyy more dominant. Sex with men feels like a job that just needs to be finished vs with women it feels so primal and instinctive. If that makes sense..."

[usernamedeleted]

Connection: Not Established

"I feel like when I (female) had a one night stand with another female, I always seemed more intimate than a one night stand with a male."

"With girls, it just seemed closer for some reason."

"With guys, there was always some sort of disconnect."

wierdoginger

Power Vs. Fun

"Sex with a guy feels way more powerful, and sex with a woman feels more like fun. However, if you in love with her then it's pretty intense."

"Also hookups with guys feels much different and almost more sexy."

DefeatedDestiny

Talk It Over With Your Partner

"Ive had a conversation about this with my SO once. We're both [bi] but he's a dude I'm a girl."

"for bi guys, sex with men means you got to take something, which is a whole unique experience you may not be into. But also Sex with men doesn't last as long as Sex with women."

"For girls, sex with women lasts much longer. Sure you can dominate If you're into that, but unless you got toys, nobody's really on top. Also it's so much easier to tell a girl what you want, and it never hurts like a dude in your a-- would. (Unless you're into that) as you can tell I prefer women in bed. Pretty biased."

"For both of us though, the dom and the sub switches. We both prefer to dom women and sub to men."

Inforgreen3

After A While, You'll Know For Sure

"Dudes are pretty easy to get off."

"Women take a bit of figuring out."

Magidex42

"And with women, you can never be sure they actually got off, too."

gianecchinisbf

There's Power In The Feeling

"Bi M"

"Men with other men have an intensity of sexual energy unmatched by any other pairing. Generally speaking. It's like an ever intensifying feedback loop. The heights of animalistic lust experienced with f-cking a man are indescribable. Like you can almost feel it permeating the air."

"There's a few women I've been with able to replicate this, but not many."

sdparquinn

Perhaps It Means Something Different

"I'm a big fan of female partners getting rough with me (choking, slapping, etc) but that is totally off limits if I'm with a male partner. I don't know if that's just because I've typically only had flings/one nighters with guys (as opposed to relationships with women) so there's not been the opportunity to build trust, but that's the big difference I've noticed for me."

et-regina

Easy Lure

"Guy here. Honestly, the biggest difference is that it's way easier to sleep with a guy than a girl. I have no idea how to go about attracting a woman. I'm pushing 30 and they're still a mystery to me. Guys? It's a lot easier and you don't even have to be very attractive to find someone who'll sleep with you."

Misterlulz

Gets The Job Done

"Every woman I've slept with doesn't stop until I'm finished."

"Can't say that for every man, lol."

butternoodz

Physicality Levels Vary

"Other than the obvious... I would say that in sex women are gentle even when they are rough and men are rough even when they are gentle. That's not exactly right.... but its true though. And I don't just mean the act of penetration receiving vs giving. The only thing that doesn't line up with this is receiving oral sex from a man as man, which is amazingly gentle and good (or can be). But giving oral sex... way more physical thanon a woman. Even kissing is somehow more... physical, less gentle. A lot of the other answers are also true."

guitarmanEG140

Act vs. Context

"Everyone's different, but in general: Men are about the ACT, women are about the CONTEXT."

"If a guy wants to screw you, or wants to do something specific they just want to do it. A freight train could be bearing down on them and they'd go "well, we've got time before it gets here, best not waste it".

"What a girl wants to do is very, very much more determined by how she feels about you specifically, how sexy she finds the environment, what else is happening in her life, the fluidity of the communication, and the expectations (or lack thereof) for a relationship."

SamuraiWisdom

It's All In The Perception

"Bi M"

"for me it's a lot like getting dinner"

"sometimes I want a nice intimate night out with a diverse menu and great service (being with a woman)"

"and sometimes I'm drunk, it's 3am, and I just need to find a place that's still open (being with a guy)"

draxlaugh

Like Making Love To A Carpet

"In my experience women tend to care more about how they're perceived than dudes do. They doll up, they get sexy, they shave their legs. Guys dont really do that. Most of the time it's like "oh I'm gonna get laid". Even when chicks are just DTF they're not just throwing on sweat pants."

"Dudes tend to make awkward small talk more often. Probably because our minds focus on the end goal more than the act. Also, hair EVERYWHERE"

"Save the planet, shave."

ShaggyTheFoxx

They're Not Radio Knobs

"My only real big difference is the nipples. Girls are softer and more sensual, guys tend to play with them like they're trying to twist open a bottle of Coke."

golfing_furry

Change The Questions

"Women don't ask other women "did you come" because 1. they know what a fake orgasm looks like and 2. they know the orgasm is not the whole entire point of sex."

"I strongly encourage men to learn from this latter point. Ask "how was it for you' or something. Don't ask "did you come," we don't always and it doesn't mean anything went wrong and it's no big deal unless you insist it is."

lizrnyc

Positioning It Right

"For me, the biggest difference in the power exchange. With women, I'm way more toppish and with men, way more bottom-ish."

"The sex itself is different but mostly just due to the parts."

neiiif36d

"However,...all of those reasons are why M/F sex is great... because of the sharing of feeling and sensation. And oral can be done as often as partners like. And anyone can and SHOULD learn to read their partners body language."

"So, for me... lesbian sex means you take turns focusing on the other person almost exclusively, while hetero sex means you get to enjoy the sensations simultaneously or separately."

Fang_Jolima

What an interesting read! Love is love is love is love.

Do you have similar experiences? Let us know in the comments below.

Red Flags That Signal Someone Wasn't Raised Right

"Reddit user spirallinggg asked: 'What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?'"

Two young boys are having a pillow fight
Photo by Allen Taylor

Parents are meant to teach offspring how to survive in this world.

They're meant to guide us on how to be a good member of society.

But either some parents fail, or too many adults don't get the message.

And all that can lead to a mighty dysfunctional adult.

Redditor spirallinggg wanted to hear about the ways we can decipher if others have bad parenting, so they asked:

"What immediately tells you that a person wasn't raised right?"

Basic human decency is a sign of a good upbringing.

Garbage

"They throw trash out a car window."

shershae

"I live on a busy road and I’m so sick of people throwing their trash in front of my house. Some guy tosses out a tall boy beer nearly every workday. I can’t wait to move. Also- so many cigarette butts! We live in a high fire hazard area so I’m worried one of these days they’ll start a fire. I try to go pick up litter twice a month."

Pinkmongoose

Random Aisles

"People who dump refrigerated grocery products on random aisles."

glockops

"I work in a grocery store. The best one I saw was someone who ordered a hot pizza from our pizza station, which is made-to-order. Then abandoned it in the cooler with the refrigerated take-and-bake pizzas we have."

"I get finding stuff from our service case abandoned, it's already cold and our prices are much higher than some people think (the last abandoned item I found was a $20 container of our fresh fruit salad [which comes in pre-cut]), but the pizza station has set menu prices, they should have known what they were getting into before they ordered."

weedtrek

Be Responsible

"Lack of personal accountability. they can never admit wrongdoing on their part. it's always someone else's fault."

Sona-kin

I always told my kids that a mistake doesn't define who you are... but what you do AFTER the mistake DOES. We're human. We're gonna screw up throughout our lives. It's unavoidable. What we can control, however, is choosing to apologize, fix the situation, make amends, etc."

nakedwithoutmyhoodie

Rude

Mean Girls Gossip GIF by Paramount MoviesGiphy

"When they talk badly about someone who hasn’t done anything wrong behind their back."

flowerzforthedead

THIS. I've seen coworkers talking behind the backs of new employees and drawing conclusions about every aspect of their lives. Like, you've seen that person for three days, you MF.

Cold-Load-4388

If you can't say it to their face, then don't say it.

Why do people have to crap talk?

Check Please

Escalate Customer Service GIF by FILMRISEGiphy

"Being super rude to people in any service profession. There is a time and place for actual, appropriate complaints but I see people constantly abuse service staff for no damn reason. Hell, even using 'please' and 'thank you' seems beyond some people. Bums me out."

CaptainLawyerDude

Others

"Lack of consideration for others."

NewVAinvestor1

"A lot of people do not fundamentally understand other people exist. They understand things exist. They understand those things should be referred to as people. But they do not understand those things have an entire existence and experience all their own exactly like them."

Sh3lls

No!

"When they can't take no for an answer."

NerdyPlaneResident

"I'm going to step up and admit to being guilty of this. For the longest time, I had it in my head that persistence pays off. Some of that was pop culture, some of that was tenacity in other areas of my life being rewarded, and then applying that to interpersonal relationships. Older and wiser me, though is more along the lines of learning to let go. It's still a struggle though, working against that original conditioning."

SergeantPsycho

Professions

"When someone looks down at others based on what they do. That just clearly shows that they've learned the same thing from their caregivers."

Leekayleigh_

"Oh yes. My husband took on a second job doing pizza deliveries. A few people laughed at him doing that at his age. They don't laugh when he explains his main job is simple and, deliveries are just driving blasting tunes and adds $900 a month after tax to our income. Then they see all the travel. Usually shuts them up."

CurvePuzzleheaded361

Offensive

For Real Wow GIF by DeStormGiphy

"Zero manners."'

Fuzzteam7

"I took a guy to a family beach condo because he says he never goes to the beach. Let him tag along with our group. Never said thank you one time. I dropped him back off at his house, and I said can you at least say thanks, he was so offended I asked or was trying to force a thank you."

berrey7

"BUT"

"When someone apologizes, and then adds a but onto it. For example, my boss held a meeting among the kitchen staff where he apologized for his attitude, and then added 'But you guys need to understand that I'm a no-bulls**t kind of person.' No sir, that's not how apologies work."

GimmickInfringement1

I hate a BUT.

Either you mean what you offer or don't say it.

man and woman together with boy and girl looking at green trees during day

Ioann-Mark Kuznietsov on Unsplash

Parenting isn't a simple job.

The health, safety and well-being of another human being is on the line. Eventually that human will enter society with all the lessons or traumas of their childhood shaping them.

That's a lot of responsibility.

But even the most well-meaning parents can mess up.

Keep reading...Show less
People on a date
Photo by René Ranisch on Unsplash

Though we mean nothing by it, there's no denying the fact that there are some characteristics, personality types, and behaviors that we find to be a total turn-off when it comes to dating.

The difficult part, though, is that what we find to be unattractive might be an unusual or unexpected thing to point out to someone else. To each their own, right?

Curious about what others' expectations were, Redditor DawnOfLegion1 asked:

"What's the weirdest dating requirement you have?"

Similar Intelligence

"He should be as smart as or smarter than me."

"There's no bigger turnoff than a guy who is noticeably dumber and there's nothing hotter than a guy who is particularly intelligent."

- _hootyowlscissors

"I'll second this. If he's slightly less intelligent, I can deal with it (although it IS a turnoff), but I've had friends date hot dumb guys, and I never got the appeal. At all. Even if the guy was sweet, I just kept thinking I would feel like I was messing with the village id**t. Not my thing at all."

- LeRuseRenard

Completely Available

"I require my date to be single. Not 'we have an understanding', not 'she doesn't understand me', and not 'we're separated and neither of us can afford an apartment on our own.' SINGLE. Not married."

"The last time a guy told me that his wife was okay with it, I told him that I wanted to hear those words from his wife. Never talked to him again."

- INobodyisme

Mind the Rules

"No getting up at 6:00 AM to do CrossFit."

"No drinking and driving."

"No crazy ex that seems to hang around with them a lot."

- Haelifae

One Word: Reciprocity

"Not a requirement, but if I paid for dinner, you paying for two ice creams or coffees isn’t all that bad."

- Soup_and_Rice

"Reciprocity."

"The older I get, the more I realize how important it is that they put in as much effort as I am."

"It doesn't have to be the same thing, have your own style; but I can't be doing all the work, all the time."

"This is with money (buy me dinner sometimes, offer to get my drink), sex (I can be a little more dominant, but you have to initiate sometimes, you have to be into it, I can't do all the work), romance or intimacy (reach out and grab my hand to walk, touch my back sometimes), or communication (text me first just to check in, for once)."

- TheLateThagSimmons

Weird Requirement: Weird

"She must be weird. And I mean truly, the kind of weird that makes other men run away."

- Vamluck

Just Equally Weird

"They have to be a little bit pervy and a little bit weird."

- CherryApple89

"When I was younger, if I was at the bar and there was a guy I thought might be fun to talk to, I would walk up and in the sexiest voice, I would tell them they have the hottest knees I have ever seen on a man."

"10 seconds flat, I would know whether they were someone I wanted to get to know. So I think I have the weird thing down."

- Dull-Geologist-8204

The Importance of Quiet Time

"I wanna be able to just chill with them doing nothing. I've been with someone who always had to be doing something and it got exhausting really fast."

- Shatteredfart

Seems Fair

"Not currently recovering from something."

"All tattoos must be spelled correctly."

"Employed."

"Four-tooth minimum."

- Mohawk60

Staying on Equal Footing

"Not sure how weird it is, but my rule is that I pay for myself every step of the way until we decide to become a couple."

"After that, we can split the bills, or take turns treating each other, etc., if that is what we both choose."

"Too many times I let a guy buy me dinner, and it is somehow implied that I now owe him something. Nope. All done with that."

- One-Internet-1982

"As a man, I have a lot of respect for that. I don't mind paying for dates and such, but I always get a bit of an icky feeling when the woman expects or demands it."

"I prefer more of an equal partnership rather than old-school gender roles, and stuff as basic as, 'Hey, you paid for the last date, let me get this one,' goes such a long way, and I feel like it also shows genuine interest from the other person."

- CaptainFresh27

Willing to Try New Things

"No picky eaters. It’s okay if you’re not a foodie, but I like to cook, and if you won’t give my food a chance, it’s not gonna work out."

- Pandaburn

A Lover of Drama

"If your profile says, 'No drama, please,' I immediately assume you are the drama or are too immature to handle life’s normal ups and downs and consider that to be drama."

- WillowWispWhipped

Intense Passion

"I love it when they have a hyper fixation."

- Unlikely-Base-4989

"The ADD/ADHD community loves you back."

- YakitoriChicken93

Knowing Your Own Limits

"No horse girls."

"I've got nothing against it, but it’s always very important to them and I’m too terrified of horses to be properly supportive, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Former-Finish4653

What's in a Name?

"They cannot have the same name as my sister or my mom."

"Alternatively, my name is unisex and a girl with my name is a turn on."

- Smellymyhand

Quite the Commitment

"I've decided that anybody I plan to spend my life with has to be willing to buy and ride a tandem bike with me."

- Sheepherder_7648

Despite the prompt being "weird requirements," some of these make a lot of sense, and more people might be adding these to their list of requirements after reading this.

But others are slightly more unexpected and likely fall under the "to each their own" category.

People on a busy street
Photo by Jason Wong on Unsplash

We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.

In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.

In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.

Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.

Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.

Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.

Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:

"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"

Nothing But Happy Memories...

"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."

"All good."

"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435

Who?

"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."

"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491

One Way To Handle It...

"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz

Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphy

No Harm, No Foul

"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop

"And ask how they are doing."

"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn

Nothing But Excitement

"Give each other a huge hug."

"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."

"It'll be good."

"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358

"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3

Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphy

Ouch!

"Didn't you die?" -Reddit

"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat

"Walk On By..."

"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave

Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphy

Even If It Means J-Walking

"Cross the street."- no_days_grace

Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...

"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·

The Passage Of Time

"I would wish her well if I recognized her."

"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."

"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37

Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+Giphy

Go For The Jugular

"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992

About Face

"Run."- saus_blu

Remain Amicable

"Have a chat."

"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1

Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphy

Of course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.

Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.

Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.