Some years ago, an ex of mine gave me a teddy bear that I've had no desire to get rid of. For one thing, it's soft and cuddly and nice to sleep with. Why would I want to get rid of it?
The relationship also did not end badly so I saw no reason to get rid of it. It would have felt like a waste.
I'm not the only one who has kept something from a prior relationship either. People have their reasons. We heard some of them after Redditor wham_12 asked the online community,
"What's one thing your ex gave you that you can't get rid of?"
"Can't get rid of..."
"Curtains for my super uninsulated apartment. Can’t get rid of something so convenient."
Good curtains are worth their weight in gold. Keep them!
"She taught me to save up..."
"My ex converted me to a “buy-it-for-life” attitude with a lot of items. She taught me to save up and buy something quality rather than going for what you can afford at that instant. I’ve followed through with this with mattress, my couch, my wardrobe, my cookware, my jewelry, my appliances."
Yes! You literally get what you pay for. A lot of large cash purchases last soooo much longer than the bargain buys.
"The ability to pronounce most Spanish words properly."
Knowing another language, even if only a bit, pays dividends.
"She showed me..."
"Confidence in myself. She showed me what I was worth and what I deserved in a partner and for that I’ll be forever grateful."
That’s beautiful… she sounds like a kind soul!
"A larger vocabulary and I am thankful for it."
Dating someone articulate pretty much pays for itself.
"The plush toys he gave me are still with me as part of my collection. They're cuter and not as mouthy as my ex anyway, so they stayed."
See what I mean? My plush toys are adorable and I wouldn't want to get rid of them.
"She gave me a belief..."
"A sense of not feeling like I'm unlovable. She gave me a belief that someone can love me and want to spend a life with me. The life wasn't with her, but I'm thankful for the relationship and the lesson is taught me."
Some people have exes who give them the opposite. You're lucky!
"I still have the shirt..."
"I still have the shirt he gave me when we broke up. It was my favorite and I always borrowed it when we were together. He knew how much I loved it and gave it to me as a parting gift, even though it was one of his favorites too. He was a good guy."
It’d be nice if all breakups had “parting gifts.” Like when you lose on a game show.
"Mine showed me..."
"Mine showed me what not to look for in a relationship."
This is immensely valuable. You don't know what you don't know. You're all the better for it.
"Some great memories. We might not have ended up partners for life, but it was fun whilst it lasted."
This is a great perspective!
You see? Breakups aren't all bad. In many cases, you'll come away from them with a better understanding of yourself and where you stand. That's an invaluable gift.
Have some observations of your own? Tell us more in the comments below!
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A couple breaking up amicably is civil and preferred, but it doesn't happen all the time.
Sometimes there is plenty of yelling, name-calling, and even harm done as the result of heartbreak.
Curious to hear examples of why people are no longer with their exes, Redditor into_the_void22 asked:
"What's the craziest thing an ex friend/lover has done to you?"
These Redditors found out they were not the other's "one and only."
"She met me for a date, went to go meet her parents. I had a beer with her dad while she went upstairs and f'ked her brother-in-law. Then she came downstairs and left with me to resume our date. I found out after the fact, got tested and dumped her a**."
A Double Life
"Found out my long distant boyfriend of three years got married and had a baby while we were together. He was in my town every weekend... It was nuts."
The Therapy Failed
"Cheated on me. Then cheated on me again after we went to months of therapy. Then emailed my parents and told them I was bad at sex."
These exes revealed their true colors.
The Catfish Attempt
"Attempted to catfish me on blackplanet using a picture she manually snapped from a magazine as her profile picture. I could see the seem down the center of the picture. I knew it was her because she had a very poor grasp of grammar and she makes specific mistakes that no one makes. When we 'met' on the site, before I realized who she was, I asked why she was single. She stated that her ex died two years ago. Considering she pulled a gun on me in a prior instance, that may well have ended up being true."
"Got mail delivered to my house when she found out I was going to break up with her. Then wouldn’t leave when I did break up with her. I called the police and since she received mail at my house they said it was officially her residence as well. I had to call my land lord and have him evict me to get her to leave. Once she left he rescinded the eviction notice and I moved back in."
The Early Morning Complaint
"Called me at three in the morning to yell at me and call me a wh*re for 'liking' a YouTube video by Dashie a month before."
Pot Calling The Kettle
"Tried to tell me she was pregnant when i broke up with her for being a compulsive liar which just confirmed that she was indeed a compulsive liar."
Some exes thought violence was always the answer.
No Room For Negotiation
"Woke up from a heavy night of drinking next to my ex. She asked if I wanted to try to put a baby in her and when I said no, she pulled a knife on me asking if I wanted to die."
"One time my gf at the time was staying over. I'd been at work late the night before so I wanted to sleep in. She tried to wake me. It didn't work so I fell back to sleep. So after an unknown amount of time (I was in deep sleep) she apparently lost patience. She put her mouth directly against my ear and screamed as loud as she could... A high-pitched horror movie scream. The pain was immediate. It's been about 15 years and my left ear (if I'm in a loud place) buzzes like I've got a wasp in my ear. It sounds exactly like a blown-out speaker."
Sometimes We Make Bad Choices
"Had a girlfriend edit old Facebook messenger timestamps to make it look like I was cheating on my new girlfriend."
"Would like to say that my taste got better but I got stabbed after that by an ex."
"Came over to my house and punched me awake because I didn't answer her phone call. Because I was sleeping."
"Oh and she stabbed me with a pencil."
A Dramatic Exit
"Ex Boyfriend just absolutely lost it when I had enough and ended things. He took my dog when he went back to work (away from home), told my parents I was suicidal so he had to know where I was, and when I tried staying at either of my parents' places, my vehicle would get vandalized."
"Threatening to take me to the police because he had someone do something to his house and demanded that I give him money because it HAD to be me (I was at the bar on the night in question). Blackmailed me for my dog, threatening that he was gonna have one of his friends shoot her, or that he was going to release her in traffic and if she gets hit it's my fault."
"My work had to create a plan where the building would go on lockdown should he show up as he was threatening that too. The final straw was when my brother left his phone out and my ex was non-stop calling it.... I picked up and lost my absolute sh*t. I found a place to rent, told nobody (not even family as my dad thought I was being dramatic and should forgive him because he's a good guy on paper; yeah that man can be another post), and somehow made out all right but drank a bit in this time."
"My mom sent me a picture one day of my dog in her house, I hauled a** to her house. She will never admit to it but I think she paid him money so I could have her as she was important to me. Now, she is snoring in bed beside me 6 years later."
What's With The Dognapping?
"She made a key to my house and stole my dog after we broke up. She then called me and told me she found said dog running loose in my neighborhood. Neighbor had it all on video. Dog was very confused."
Sneaky Time Capsule
“'Helped' me pack. Knew I was putting things into storage. Put RAW chicken into a Rubbermaid with appliances they knew I wouldn’t open for months…."
"She attacked me with a ukulele, while screaming."
"We had been arguing, heatedly, and she went to another room. I assumed she was just getting some space and cooling off. A moment later she came running out of the room, screaming and swinging a little guitar at me."
"We didn't break up then, but eventually did and that incident was the main reason. However, until then I could never be calm if she was in another room."
Let's end the thread on a positive.
Sometimes, the "craziest" things done by an ex are not always abusive.
Gift That Keeps Giving
"My ex donated a kidney to me, it still wows me how she decided without even a moment of hesitation. Great person for sure."
The most disturbing thing about a person not taking a breakup well is that it unleashes a side of them that was only indicated as hints of a red flag.
The good news is, the display of someone violently unraveling after you break up with them is a reminder of why you never should have been with them in the first place.
The bad part in all this?
Well, that would depend on whether or not the person you broke up with is prone to stabbing you with a pencil in a moment of unbridled fury.
If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).
To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/
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