People Imagine How They'd React If Their Ex Showed Up At Their Door
Reddit user XenaVonKeksdose asked: 'What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?'
Breaking up is hard to do no matter who initiated it.
But once time has passed and exes have moved on, the healing process can be jarred by a surprise.
A regretfilled person may try and make contact with the one they broke up with and ask for forgiveness, or the person who had their heart broken could also reappear and plead for a fresh new start.
The outcome depends on how much, or how little, the spark of love remains.
Curious to hear more of this scenario from strangers online, Redditor XenaVonKeksdose asked:
"What would you say to your ex if they suddenly showed up at your door?"
For these Redditors, it wouldn't be a happy reunion.
Either, Or
"It ranges from 'come on in and make yourself comfortable' to 'get the f'k out of here' , depending on which one shows up."
– Lone_Buck
"Odds of it being the one who got away: low."
"Odds of it being the one who took 5 years to understand what 'f'k off' meant: pretty high."
– liquid_acid-OG
It's A Nightmare
"Screaming. They've passed."
– BigGrayBeast
"Similar situation here. I did have a dream that my late wife showed up at my door. She said, 'There was a mix up at the coroner, you wouldn’t believe what I’ve been through.”'
"Still in the dream we talked for a bit about nothing. Then I said, 'Wait, what about the life insurance, do we have to pay it back?' And just after that I woke up."
– AnonEMoussie
No Thanks
"Nah"
"Slowly closes the door while maintaining eye contact."
"Also aggressively locks the door."
– SnooCats7666
"raises drawbridge."
– lunalives
Some would show traces of resentment.
Unwelcome
"The f'k do you want? And how did you get this address?"
– s73v3m4nn
"wtf ffs"
– zxr7
Too Little Too Late
"You couldn't put in effort in messaging me, but you have effort now to see me months after we break up‽"
– ShyTerraWolf
"Wait, if you’re here who’s running hell?”
– So__bored
"Who’s guarding HADES."
– Boostio_TV
Hit 'Em Where It Hurts
"I lost weight... You seem to have found it."
– elmo-1959
"now get the f'k off my lawn."
– starkresilient
"Savage."
– 20190229
Others shared less bitter responses.
Coming Clean
"Honestly, I apologize. I know dealing with my prior alcoholism must have been a nightmare. I regret causing you and anyone else pain and hope you are happy. I am a year into sobriety and can understand why it ended. I wish you well."
"Edit: Since this is getting so much traction, I just want to say thanks for all the support. This could honestly be directed at a few of my exes. I am happily married now to someone that also got a taste of my drinking. We stuck it out while I got sober and I have to credit her with being an amazing support system. I also need to shout out r/stopdrinking for providing reinforcement on a daily basis. It is a great community. Naltrexone was also a major part of it. I can't change the past but I think I have a much better hold on the future."
– vivazeta
Someone That I Used To Know
"I've been married for almost 25 years, I don't know if I would even recognize any exes."
– 4a4a
"Yep. That person went from 'ex' to 'someone I once dated' years ago."
– ktwhite42
Expressing Regrets
"I'm sorry for the way I treated you."
– warlordwinters
"Good on you for growing."
– Zealousideal_Ad_7465
Catching Up
"I’d say hello! What are you doing here? It has been a long time."
– ExaminationLucky6082
Wish You Well
"A lot of snarky or comical answers in here, but I'll try to be as sincere as I can."
"My first major ex, first time I got my heart broken: I would sincerely hope that she's doing well. She broke my heart, but it was for the best and it made me into the man I am today. I don't want to think of how much worse I would be if she hadn't given me a reality check wake-up-call. So really just 'Hey, how have you been? I hope the years have been kind to you.'"
"My most recent ex, the first and only time I've had to break someone's heart: I honestly just hope that she can forgive me for having to make taking care of myself and my needs the priority in my life. She's an amazing woman, kindergarten school teacher, unanimously adored by everyone that meets her. But we met via travels, and lived in two different states. Circumstances shifted and seeing each other became much less frequent. Neither of us wanted to quit our jobs and chuck a grenade into our lives and careers. Eventually, for my own mental and emotional health, I had to call it. I truly hope she finds someone amazing, she deserves it. So I would just sincerely hope that she understands, and has moved on."
– obaterista93
I once showed up at an exes door after I broke up with him about a month prior.
I genuinely loved and missed him after making the very difficult decision to end things due to conflicting circumstances that kept us from maintaining a healthy relationship.
But I quickly learned that if you did the breaking up, you should respect the other person's space for a respectable amount of time.
I went to visit him at the apartment where we lived together and a new lover answered the door for him after there was a long period of giggles and lots of feet shuffling from behind the door.
Clearly, he was doing just fine.
Of course, I wasn't welcomed in and was asked what I wanted, to which I had no answer but, "do you have any mail for me?"
How People Would React If They Randomly Saw Their Ex On The Street
Reddit user rageondad asked: 'You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?'
We all find ourselves having an unexpected run-in with someone we know on the street every now and then.
In some cases, it's a pleasant surprise and plans are immediately made to catch up.
In other cases, you dig out the first excuse you can to keep on moving, as this particular individual was not someone you hoped would re-enter your life.
Then, of course, there are the times you run into an ex.
Whether you ended things amicably or acrimoniously, it's always going to be an awkward encounter.
Just how awkward it will be, however, depends on your reaction.
Redditor rageondad was curious to hear how people would react if they unexpectedly saw their ex on the street, leading them to ask:
"You see your first ex on the street, what do you do?"
Nothing But Happy Memories...
"1st ex: say hi, nice conversation."
"All good."
"2nd ex: hide from her again, like I did that one time at the gas station."- jfg1435
Who?
"Ignore him because he’s not worth saying hi to."
"And I wouldn’t care about him at all."- Big-Elevator2491
One Way To Handle It...
"Start taking a sh*t on the side walk immediately."- ceiling_fanzz
Excuse Me What GIF by BounceGiphyNo Harm, No Foul
"Say hi."- hot-breadfruit_poop
"And ask how they are doing."
"I'm a curious creature, what can I say?"- Lamacorn
Nothing But Excitement
"Give each other a huge hug."
"We're going to see each other next week for the first time in 25 years."
"It'll be good."
"We've remained friends this whole time, so we're both looking forward to it."- riceme0112358
"Say hi, give him a hug, ask him what he's doing in town."- m00nf1r3
Couple Love GIF by PantayaGiphyOuch!
"Didn't you die?" -Reddit
"Wonder who dug her up."- 8urfiat
"Walk On By..."
"Just keep walking."- MythicalMicrowave
Walking By Moe Szyslak GIF by Football AustraliaGiphyEven If It Means J-Walking
"Cross the street."- no_days_grace
Avoiding Your Ex In Five D's...
"Dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge."- catinatank·
The Passage Of Time
"I would wish her well if I recognized her."
"It’s been over 20 years since I’ve seen her."
"It’s not like we parted on bad terms or anything."- Fangsong_37
Lana Parrilla GIF by Paramount+GiphyGo For The Jugular
"You've sure gotten old."- drpepper1992
About Face
"Run."- saus_blu
Remain Amicable
"Have a chat."
"We are still friends."- Mentalfloss1
Meg Ryan Comedy GIF by Coolidge Corner TheatreGiphyOf course, the worst element of surprise is having no idea how we might react.
Try as we might to plan just what we'd do should we ever run into an ex, we can't possibly know what will actually happen should that moment arrive.
Though, hopefully it won't ever lead to defecating on the street.
Romance isn't easy and, sometimes, leads to regret.
A lot of times, those regrets are about something you said to or told your ex.
Sometimes, it's regret about the relationship altogether. Other times, it's regretting saying something that led to a breakup. And others it's regretting saying something when you should've just said nothing and left.
Whatever the case, we all have those regrets. Redditors certainly do, and they are ready to share what they regret saying to their ex.
It all started when Redditor Quintowne asked:
"What do you regret telling your ex?"
Cheater, Cheater
"Saying anything after finding out he cheated. Shoulda just left silently tbh"
– tornteddie
"I wish I had done this, too. Looking back, it would have been not only more satisfying but also reduced the trauma in general."
"Well over it now, but man, I wish I had just disappeared."
– eeEmmerich
"I found out my ex was cheating 4 hours into a 5 hour drive to a theme park when she gave me her phone to text her mum back."
She threatened to leave me there unless I got back with her so I wish I just hadn’t said anything until we got home."
She still denied it despite overwhelming evidence and blamed me for all of it."
I literally showed her a text of her say to him that “thanks for letting me take you to the Xmas party as my boyfriend..." Her response to me was basically “lalalalalalala” every time I tried to talk or that I was taking it out of context."
This was a party she had said a ton of times that you weren’t allowed to take a partner with you."
It was the most awkward day of my life, and once she had gotten over the part where she wanted to leave me there, she kept me there until 10pm until I said I would take her back after falsely “accusing her.""
"We only left because security in the car park said they would tow her car if she didn’t leave. Then we drove 5 hours back with work the next day so I only had an hour or two sleep."
"I dumped her a** once I got it in a text that she admitted it and somehow her friends and family still took her side saying she wouldn’t ever do that."
"She then stalked me for 2 years."
"Yeah my first relationship was a wild ride for years."
"I really wish I had just ghosted her and left without explanation."
– Interesting_Tone6532
Money For Nothing
"The combination to my wall safe. She took about $40,000 in gold and silver."
"Then I had to take her back and get her to trust me before she gave it back (which was a little over 3 more months). Then I had to dump her again. And then she broke all the windows in my house. But she got arrested since it was on camera. She spent 12 days in jail and had to do 100 hours of community service. As soon as it was done, she tried to set me house on fire. She ended up in jail for 3 years for attempted arson. And last I heard, she met a guy, got dumped, and tried to burn down the bar he owned. She’s in prison now. Not sure how long. Don’t care. I moved out of state. Hope she doesn’t find me."
– Myzyri
Did You Know...?
"Opening up about anything. Turns out whenever I said anything to her, she would spread it to her friends and other lover."
– Goose_Gamer_26
"Mine as well, terrible people."
– AcanthocephalaAny78
Oof!
"“Sure we can get a joint bank account.”"
"Man I don’t even have a joint bank account with my wife :-D haha. That’s levels of crazy trust."
– Paratwa
Speak Now
""I do.""
– Hemenucha
"I regret asking “will you marry me?” more."
– MohawkElGato
""We both made mistakes", she said when she left me."
""We did. You, lied and cheated on me. I, married you.""
– daniu
Dumb Love
""I forgive you" (after the first time she cheated). - It was dumb, dumb, dumb - just f**king stupid - as in I should not be allowed out of the house without adult supervision stupid. Did I mention it was dumb? And that I was a f**king idiot?"
– Deleted User
"Lmao it’s okay. Love makes us dumb, blind and basically incapable of functioning. We learn tho :)"
– the_ocean_in_a_drop
What's In A Name?
"My name."
"I wish I'd never met him."
– stardust591
Ouch!
"She told me that I was angry."
"I told her that I stopped being angry months before."
"She asked if I wasn’t angry, what was I?"
"I told her that I was bored."
"We’d been separated for 6 months at that point and I was waiting for her to deal with some of her issues so we could actually move towards divorce. A year later nothing has changed and I’m still bored, but recognise that it wasn’t a helpful thing to say."
– inactiveuser247
"The opposite of love isnt hate, its apathy."
– Trapped_Mechanic
A Heavy Loss
"“I’ll store my sh*t here for now and will pick it up later.”"
"...crazy ex sells my pristine childhood collection of consoles/videogames and a bunch of sh*t after we breakup."
– loztriforce
"Old games and consoles!? And they were pristine!? Dude, you gotta sell her organs at that point."
– Goose_Gamer_26
Went On For Too Long
"I have a pretty weird one."
"I dated someone from out of country until COVID. But the thing is - we didn't really break up. She just tried to lure me to move to where she was.. during a pandemic... when I was newly unemployed.. and without health insurance in the US. Even with that, I said I would - and then I just didn't hear from her for months."
"I finally get an email response in mid summer indicating that she loved me and misses me, and her life is miserable and that she left Colorado for NC. I respond back. Crickets afterwards."
"We were "reddit friends", meaning we followed one another back then. A post comes up that November 2020 asking a mail related question, because her and her SO moved in together and were not getting mail for several weeks."
"My mistake was that I reached out to her and I told her exactly what I thought about what she did. That it wasn't wrong to break up with me, but it was wrong to not break up with me, keep me hanging, and then not tell me that she really just met someone else."
"What followed after that was several months of shoddy communication. She completely tried to gaslight me. But in actuality - she was creating a fake life story to cover up the fact that she basically just left me for someone else. In the end, she said some pretty nasty things to me, I said some pretty nasty things to her, and we haven't spoken since. But I could've avoided several months of emotional discomfort if I just let it be."
"She's now married to the guy she swore was just a figment of my imagination."
"If someone is going to lie to you like that, gaslight you, throw your feelings in the trash so callously - they don't deserve your time in any capacity."
– Fausto_Alarcon
I Can Hear You!
"That I am hard of hearing. The AH would use it to gaslight me by claiming I didn't hear him or his tone of voice accurately. His speaking voice was loud and he yelled a lot - I WISH I couldn't hear him."
– lawgirlamy
Talk about gaslighting!
Do you have any regrets to share? Let us know in the comments below.
There's a saying about needing to kiss a lot of frogs before finding Prince Charming. Most people date more than one person before settling on a life partner.
And even then it doesn't always work out.
Most of us have at least one breakup in our past. The reasons things don't work between people vary greatly.
But we all have our breaking point.
Reddit user pizzabagels1994 asked:
"What caused your last break up?"
Lack of Empathy
"I had just been diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic cancer. All the attention I had been giving her I didn't have the energy to maintain while getting Chemo and avoiding Covid."
"My final straw. She yelled at me on the phone while I was in intensive care with pulmonary embolisms."
"Just that light bulb moment, and I was done."
"That was 3 years ago. All good now. I'm in remission, and thinking about dating again."
~ Owlflight317
Unhealthy
"I got into an argument with a crazy ex that was about 8 years older than me when I was 19 and we were screaming and chatting at each other and I remember she grabbed this vase that I had just bought her some flowers in and chucked it at my head and barely missed.
"It's hard to remember what kind of insanities I was yelling at her after that but she came around the corner with two brand new butcher knives from a knife set we had bought earlier that day and chased me around the house in circles."
"The house had bars on the windows and you had to have a key to open the front and back door it did not just have a manual lock."
"I ended up putting myself in the bathroom and holding the door as hard as I could and she actually stabbed one of the knives through the door."
"The whole knife did not come through the door only about two inches of it but that's plenty enough to still scare you."
"It was around 2010 and I had one of those prepaid phones in my pocket and I called her dad to come get her. He lived across the street."
"After her dad got her calmed down he took me on a ride to the duck pond at like 2 or 3:00 in the morning and was feeding the ducks old pizza and was just telling me that I needed to chill out and trying to give me some kind of a life lesson."
"He was probably pretty intoxicated himself but usually managed to hold himself together."
He really wasn't a great guy but came in during his daughter's mental crisis."
"The duck pond adventure started to end as the sun came up and I went and locked myself into the bathroom at the house and just went to sleep on the floor."
"I was going to get my things and get out that morning but she begged me to stay and at the time I thought that was what I really wanted."
"I think she kind of was mentally unwell at the time and I wasn't my best either."
"I did not call the cops on her and we reconciled for a time."
"Unfortunately I seem to have a pattern of not realizing I'm in a major mentally abusive situation due to growing up in one."
~ SnooCalculations8038
"Wife and I were attending couples therapy."
"The therapist said she was being literally abusive to me. My then-wife demanded a new therapist."
"Second therapist said she was being abusive to me. My then-wife filed for divorce.
"While my life right after was hell, it's come back around and I'm doing better than ever."
~ wjmacguffin
"My drinking, lies about drinking, and sh*tty finances because of drinking. 107 days sober today."
~ No_Step_4431
"Finally, someone who admits it was their fault. Me too brother."
"Past exes all was because of my drinking. Thankfully, I found someone who helped me quit."
"I'm 1yr 8m sober. We got this."
~ taizzle71
Infidelity
"She cheated."
"We had our home, our plans and were preparing to marry in about three months when we separated."
~ PGabrielSL
"Thank goodness you found out before getting married."
"I know it must really hurt and maybe even keep you from trying again with someone new but you really dodged a bullet."
~ krasavetsa
"Yep, my wife cheated and it's costing me about 100k between legal fees, buying out her equity in the house (which she paid none of), give her a chunk of my retirement and liquid cash."
"Honestly I think everyone should have a nasty infidelity clause in a pre-nup at this point."
"I can also look forward to sending her 70k in child support over the coming years. And I'm gonna take a wild guess that most of it won't be spent on the kid."
~ Throwawaysi1234
Something is Missing
"It took some time but we both realized that we weren't giving each other what we needed."
~ 2ByteTheDecker
"Same! He saw it first so he was the one to leave me, but thank God he did, we were so incompatible!"
~ Obvious_Ari
"Leaving my last relationship was rough—it was my first ever relationship and lasted 7 years—but I was so relieved at the same time when I got dumped."
"It was a very healthy breakup on both sides, and we kept in touch on and off for just under a year afterwards until she began seeing someone else and I felt it would be best to leave it be out of respect for her new partner."
"We honestly just both grew up (got together when I just turned 18; both young) and eventually fell out of romantic love."
"I still hold her to the highest respect and will always have a place in my heart for her, but I was so glad when she bit the bullet and broke it off. I would've felt too guilty to do so; I owed her so much."
"We had a very tumultuous relationship for the first couple years—we were very much in love but I had a lot of unresolved mental health issues, had a nervous breakdown, etc..."
"I still hate what I put her through but hope I was able to make it up to her in the last couple years of the relationship."
"Anyways, I wish her the best. My life and mental well-being has gotten SO much better in the last few years of being single; in a way I owe that to her too."
~ knoxollo
"He wants to get his life together."
"We still love each other and he thinks he needs to do this on his own but I want to be here for him, I promised him when we first started dating I’d be here for him as much as I can."
"It just hurts because he thinks I’m not strong enough to still love him and be apart from him when I am. It’s complicated."
~ coffincowgirl
Not enough time
"Her not having enough time for both grad school and a relationship."
"She did make the right choice though."
~ Formo1287
"Oof, yeah. Grad school is a real drain, emotionally."
"Like, you need the support of a partner while you go through it, but you don't really have anything to give back."
"It's an awful time."
~ Economy-Mission6933
"Just broke up with a girl halfway through a medical degree. I couldn't do it. I had been supporting her financially for 8 years and even another four I couldn't do. She also wanted me to cook, shop more than her."
"I started telling her I wanted her to contribute more towards the relationship. She grew distant but then really leaned on me when she needed financial and emotional support."
"She gets through her exams gets admitted to the doctorate and then cheats on me on holiday with a Swiss rocket scientist."
"He's now supporting her finanically in a long distance relationship. Feels like I dodged a bullet. Still 8 years is a long time."
~ nevaehenimatek
It's complicated seems to be the mantra of relationships in the 21st century.
Are we no longer as loyal or loving as we were in the past?
Or do we just have more options and an unwillingness to settle.
Ending a relationship is never easy.
In several cases, the reasons for doing so might also be unexpected.
More often than not, it simply becomes apparent to both members of the couple that the relationship has simply run its course, and there is no future.
Other times, however, there might be an inciting incident that made staying in the relationship no longer tenable.
Possibly a surprising act by one member of the couple, or a longstanding secret that was finally unearthed.
"What’s the reason you left your ex?"
Money Mismanagement
"Lied about business finances."
"Discovered 95k of personal credit card debt used to fake its success."-
Distinguished Spark
"Lived more like roommates than lovers."- ojyelims·
Infidelity
"She got pregnant by another man, tried to pass it off as mine, I called BS, was right, and somehow *I'm* the every other weekend parent to our 2 kids."- disturbednadir·
"Caught with her ex in my house."- Working-Field-1568
"He cheated on me and then insisted on having me back."
"Dumba** me said yes but after more months of his lies and him not taking any accountability for his actions I left."- Hekatevenstar
Unhappy Change
"Realized that I came into the relationship with everything, and after 5 years together, realized I had nothing."
"Lost all my self-confidence, sense of who I was, all my friends, all my money, and all hope for the future."- FoxsNetwork
You Could Hear It
"When you can hear the lack of emotion in your own voice, you know you’ve gone too far to come back."
"That’s when it happened for me."
"I heard me give up."- SanguineSuprises
Enough Was Enough
"I was tired of crying all the time."- Sexyseculargoddess69
One Sided Relationship
"Narcissism is not easy to live with."- CrimsonCamellia13
"I supported him through everything he couldn’t support me when I needed him."
"I realized that he’s completely useless to me because I still feel alone while in the relationship."
"My life is much nicer now."- Pleasant_Lemon6687
Ultimatum
"She said that it was her or my daughter."
"She will not be second to a child."
"I didn’t even say good by just got up and walked away."- SGT-Hooves
Ulterior Motives
"She had a sugar daddy."
"Two years later he went to prison for embezzling (Failure to pay) state taxes collected from his employees."
"Justice!"- BabyEagle9mm
It's always noble to try and make a relationship work.
Sometimes, however, a relationship can be truly broken beyond compare, and there is simply no saving it.
And should your health and safety be at risk, it's unwise to even put in the effort.