The first stage of dating is hard.
You want to show your potential significant other that you're interested in them enough to pursue courtship. Yet, you don't want to come off as desperate.
For one bisexual woman, such social graces are particularly challenging, to say the least.
Twitter user @gilltheamazon, who identifies herself as a bisexual woman, spilled the beans on the difficulties of complimenting women while dating.
"As a bisexual woman, I still cannot tell if another woman is flirting with me or just being nice," she tweeted earlier this month.
"On that same note I have no idea how to convey to a woman I'm not just being nice, I'm flirting with you. Like yes I think you're pretty and your shoes are hot but also kiss me?"
As a bisexual woman, I still cannot tell if another woman is flirting with me or just being nice, on that same note… https://t.co/NcfozAs0YG— Trouble (@Trouble)1547003277.0
She added that women are socialized to compliment one another in public places, as opposed to heterosexual men who do pay compliments, but all too often with ulterior motives.
"I will literally only say this once more: women are confused because it is our CULTURE to compliment each other in bars, at parties literally everywhere. We are KIND to each other."
"Men don't compliment my earrings just for funzies. This tweet was not for men to claim. Bye."
I will literally only say this once more: women are confused because it is our CULTURE to compliment each other in… https://t.co/DPyYf2ria1— Trouble (@Trouble)1547131821.0
Her introspective tweet went viral with over 24K likes.
Soon, her thread was filled with comments relating to her situation and helpful tips on how to combat this specific social obstacle.
@gilltheamazon The Ga(y)ze is key— Finn the Human (@Finn the Human)1547149756.0
@gilltheamazon Lolz yea I have a direct approach with women, I let them know I’m shooting my shot and so don’t wanna be friends— NefertitEE 🌻 (@NefertitEE 🌻)1547077539.0
Even some men shared the same dilemma.
@gilltheamazon Dudes can still relate. Does the girl actually like me or is she just being friendly?— nervous101 (@nervous101)1547170940.0
It depends on the situation.
@gilltheamazon Oh, I know..thats why I get awkward reactions when I compliment women's boots, clothes, make up, etc… https://t.co/ZfAUf4P6uQ— Aimee (DevaAshera) (@Aimee (DevaAshera))1547161532.0
@gilltheamazon If asked an either / or question, casually dropping "I'm bi, so both" into a convo has worked for me… https://t.co/ltyvjW8XGf— K.C. Littleton (@K.C. Littleton)1547135956.0
It's not necessarily what is verbalized.
@gilltheamazon https://t.co/HWXsKoNdEI— 1997 (@1997)1547091323.0
@gilltheamazon @sportsandboobs I swear it’s eye contact. From a pansexual woman— Tammeh (@Tammeh)1547092382.0
@gilltheamazon I feel like women know because I give them this face https://t.co/CCFtI1Fmm8— Marianne Williamson 2020 (@Marianne Williamson 2020)1547073490.0
@gilltheamazon In my experience, the eyes will tell you! There’s something about someone that’s attracted to you, t… https://t.co/0pkrIJhqGU— Allum? Sommum? Nunum? or Errwonum? (@Allum? Sommum? Nunum? or Errwonum?)1547084635.0
@Naysha080 You’re pretty 💜 https://t.co/pAisGnB1Xy— Lil Extro Vert 🏳️🌈🖤✨♈️ (@Lil Extro Vert 🏳️🌈🖤✨♈️)1547159328.0
Yet, even eye contact comes with its own misleading perceptions.
@formerlyMrsNBA @gilltheamazon @sportsandboobs I make forward eye contact with everyone. It's a problem I have. Men… https://t.co/qLJnusCSKr— Mess 'O Jess 🎩 (@Mess 'O Jess 🎩)1547136154.0
To avoid confusion, there is this alternative. Or not.
@gilltheamazon Tell people you're interested.— 🎨 I AM. Spirit in a body 65% vegan. 👽❤🖖💰 (@🎨 I AM. Spirit in a body 65% vegan. 👽❤🖖💰)1547062649.0
@gilltheamazon @emoblackthot I'm too shy to even tell girls I think they're pretty or I like their clothes or some… https://t.co/t8nvXFuuCt— Elle (@Elle)1547133038.0
If you have something nice to say, out with it, regardless of the outcome.
@gilltheamazon If I see a good pair of earrings I’m saying something about it boss— where is your wall? (@where is your wall?)1547149384.0
With Valentine's Day coming up, it could be freeing to throw caution to the wind and be direct.
You got this!