People who engage with more than one gender have a really unique experience.

Those of us who fall squarely into heterosexual or homosexual know the emotional and sexual patterns of the genders we are attracted to, for the most part. We know what to expect on a first date or in a long term relationship.

We don't have to keep track of too much information. Bisexual folks on the other hand? They have their work cut out for them.


u/Bri-ioche asked:

"Bisexual people of reddit, what are the biggest diffferences between having a relationship with a man and with a woman?"

Here were some of their answers.

Cuddle Time

As a bisexual man, it's awesome to be little spoon and actually fit. I know that's probably not what you're looking for, but it's the first thing that came to mind.

NedWretched

Snail's Pace

In my experience, relationships with men move a lot slower than relationships with women.

In a relationship with a man, we talk for several weeks, then we date for a month before we even discuss defining the relationship. With women, you go on two dates, and then she has a drawer at your place.

I'm a woman in my late 20s. I've had 4 girlfriends and 3 boyfriends since I was 15. Edited again: Thanks for the gold!

cryrabanks

Homophobia: Alive And Well

I'm a bi woman and to be honest the biggest difference for me is other people's perception of my relationship.

When I date men I don't get the same 21 questions from strangers and family members as to why I've made the choice to date that person.

Also once when I was dating a woman my step-grandma asked me not to hold her hand or kiss her at Thanksgiving dinner so that it wouldn't "confuse the children"... They've never asked me to withhold public affection from male partners. I think I've dated more men than women long term because it was the path of least resistance.

prettygirlpuking

It's Called Not The Bare Minimum

As a man, men who've only dated women before are really easy to impress. I bought my ex dinner a few times and he just about lost his mind because no one had done that for him before. I've heard lesbians say the same thing about women, so I think it's more of a societal expectation thing than anything else.

enjollras

Getting Faster

From my experience at least, wlw relationships tend to move faster? I can't explain it like when I was with my ex we were so ride or die since day one, saying i love you after less than a month together, very intense overall. Also unfortunately, sometimes you get to realize how much bias and prejudice your "friends" and family might secretly hold.

With men, I never had something like that. There were a lot more downtime I guess? Also no fear about having to go out while holding hands, or introducing to the family.

Although, aside from a few things, I think it's very different overall because people are different, ya know? Like my ex was very extroverted and my bf is very introverted, so the dynamic changes because of that too.

blueparkelephant

Again, Not The Bare Minimum

With most of the women I dated, gift/acts of kindness were an every day thing. Like, I'd make an extra stop for something they liked and it wouldn't be a big deal to them.

Every. Single. Guy. I have dated has lost their minds over the little things. When my husband and I first started dating, I stopped and got him a slushie while I got gas, not even an extra stop. I just set it in front of him at his apartment and you'd have thought it was the Holy Grail.

sewwhatdowehavehere

Let's Gender Dumb Things!

With a hetero relationship, there a lot of gender based assumptions. The dude drive and kills the bugs. The woman remembers that they're out of milk and arranges social things. It's not always true, but even then it feels like you're breaking the norm and "different". With gays there is much less expectations. Chores tend to be distributed evenly. Who kills the bugs is sometimes both or neither.

boom_boom_bang_

Tossed Around

I'm a small human, and when I date women they're mostly my size, but men are usually at least 6" taller and have 50 pounds on me. There are a lot of physical differences with cuddling and sex with partners of different sizes. I love that men can pick me up (when I want them to) and that I get to feel tiny and safe with men I trust. With women, it's more equal, so we switch back and forth between being the cuddler and the cuddlee. Also with women, we usually take turns (getting attention) during sex whereas with men it's more likely to be just one effort.

janes_left_shoe

That Homophobia Will Getcha Every Time

I've dated more women than men, but both of the guys were way easier and more direct than any of the women were. Sex with a guy is easier to get started; literally you can be playing video games on the couch and suddenly you're both horny and going for it. Women need more prep time, generally, it's almost never 0-100 in a flash. It's slower to get started and longer to reach the finish, but in my opinion it is more satisfying when you both get there.

Culturally it is easier to date women as it isn't immediately seen as taboo by most people. Almost nobody will bat an eye if you kiss as hetero in public, but you'll get a look or two if you're the same gender.

These have been my experiences and in no way do I think it is universal, just the folks that have been nice enough to date me.

Nonsenseinabag

Sharing Time!

As a guy I found I get more excited for Christmas when I date guys rather than girls because it's a mutual want and desire (you get to share most things, clothes and video games). Woman are sweeter and love little gestures more than guys. Like when I do the dishes or make supper or clean the house they get super appreciative. Guys just brush it off or don't notice those kind of efforts.

PopcornEverywhere

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