1. I met his mom and said "oh this must be your grandmother."
2. Met the father at bf's hockey game. He was sweet and bought me a hot chocolate and himself a coffee. About 5 minutes later he gets booted from the arena for arguing with a ref and throwing his coffee at the refs face.
3. His mom asked us if we were "dipping winkies" (please bear in mind I'm a female) and said if he ever needed condoms for us to tell her we're "hungry for Hardee's" and she'd know what we meant and wouldn't have to explain further, and that she would either give us money for or go out and buy us condoms. I was fourteen at the time. Found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at thirteen, she didn't want us to have to make that decision, so she really was just trying to be helpful. But it was a little much the very first time meeting her.
4. Sitting at dinner with the girlfriend and her parents (just met them 10 minutes earlier) having casual conversion when I sneeze-farted. I tried to play it cool but we all knew what happened. The worst part was about 30 second after it happened, after everyone had moved on, when the smell crept in.
5. The first time I met my fiance's mother, we had to walk past her to go to his bedroom, and he said, "Hi mom, this is nancydrewskillz." I said hi, she said hi, and that was it. We were more formally introduced in the morning.
But the next time we saw each other I came stumbling drunk into the house, told her how much I loved Buffy (she was watching it) and had a 5 minute conversation with their dog about how soft he was.
Two and a half years later, she's going to be my mother in law. And when her son and I were having a pretty serious argument a while ago she said to him, "If you break up with her, I'm trading you for her."
6. I was invited to a (former) boyfriend's house for dinner to meet his parents. When I got there, his father wasn't yet home from work so we decided to go for a walk. Boyfriend's mother told us to be back to the house by 5, so we were playfully racing each other back so as to make it in time.
I got to the door a few paces ahead of him, opened the door, and found myself face-to-face with his dad who was standing stark naked in front of the door. I turned around and hid around the corner, the father kind of yelped and ran down the hall, and we were both mortified. Turns out he came home and was getting ready to shower when the phone rang, so he answered it naked since he hadn't expected us back yet.
7. My ex boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents, and he told me they wanted to meet me too. We decided to drive up to their place in the bay area (we lived in Orange County at the time) for Thanksgiving.
I'm white, and he (and thus his parents) are Chinese. I normally wouldn't mention this, but apparently my whiteness made them not approve of me, and therefore not actually want to meet me. I didn't know they didn't want to meet me, otherwise I wouldn't have driven six hours and showed up at their house.
When we knocked on their door, his mother answered, looked at me and said (in Cantonese) "I told you not to bring the white girl here". More was said in Cantonese (I understood none of it).
To save money, his parents did not have the boiler on, nor did they have heat in the house. Not having a boiler meant not having hot water, and therefore not having showers. To remedy this, they had a membership at 24 hour fitness, where they went every night to have a shower.
They insisted that we go to 24 hour fitness for a shower, literally 15 minutes after showing up at their house. 24 hour fitness has communal showering. I'm absolutely terrified of communal showering.
I had to get naked with my boyfriend's mother, 15 minutes after meeting her. At that point, she had never spoken a word to me in English. The first actual communication she showed me was to thrust a hairdryer in my hands.
Anyway, the next few days were excruciatingly uncomfortable. Next to nothing was said in English at all, and I felt like everybody hated me. I spent several days just being as quiet, submissive, and polite as possbile. I was sent to his mother's garden to pull weeds in the sun for a few hours, and after that she apparently began liking me.
Later in the week she decided I needed a checkup at the doctor (for what reason, I don't know). Turns out she scheduled me for a vaginal exam, conducted by a man. A man who I don't know. A man who spoke in really broken English.
I explained to her that I was not comfortable with any of this. It was horrible and embarrassing.
8. He brought his mother on our first date.
9. I dated a Korean guy for a month or so in high school. I went to his house after school one day, and encountered his dad on the sidewalk before we made it there. He looks at me, looks at his son, and begins pointing at me and yelling at him in Korean. I had to awkwardly stand there for about five minutes of them going back and forth, before we parted ways and I just went home. Turns out he didn't want him dating a non-Korean.
10. My ex's mom surprised him with a visit while we were mid-sex. My clothes somehow ended up all over the apartment so I had to come out and greet her wearing nothing but his shirt and pretending it was a dress. She knew. Did I mention she was one of my bosses?
11. She only had her mother, her father passed away when she was young.
I go to her house to wait for her to get home and meet her mom, she has a bottle of dewars on the table. Her mom was pleasant (not drunk at the time) and she offers me a drink. I normally don't drink the hard stuff, but I decided to be polite and take it.
Her mother gets a phone call, apparently my new GF is going to be about 2 hours late. The mother sits down next to me on the couch and tells me.
Then the unthinkable happens, her mom (not very attractive by the way) puts her hand on my upper thigh. She says we have 2 hours if I'm interested and smiles.
Now at the time I was only 18, but I had enough common sense to GTFO real quick.
Meet up with my GF later on that night and don't even bring up what happened (what good could it do right?).
2 days later my GF shows up at my house and is wide eyed, her breath is labored (she ran to my house). She tells me that one of her best friends just told her that he slept with her mom. I ask when it happened, and she said 2 nights ago.
So made the right choice!
12. My husband and I are older (40s) and had been dating about a year before I met his parents for the first time. They live on the other side of the country and flew out to visit him.
His exgirlfriend found out and showed up at the restaurant, sat down, and dominated the conversation with all of the memories she had with them and my husband.
Awkward as hell.
They can't stand her, but are polite people. Anyway, this chick is a hot mess.
13. I met my exes mom when I was 15. They were a highly Catholic family and he wasn't allowed to date. So I would go over after school until it was about time for them to get home. So we're making out and my shirt and bra come off. Which was pretty escalated for us. Then we heard a car door slam. He grabs my shirt and bra, hands them to me and tells me to go hide in his closet. So I do. Shirtless. His mom and him talk for what seems like forever just outside the door. She tells him she's gonna go take a nap so to be quiet. After she went in her room he came and got me. Right as I am trying to get my bra on she steps out of her room and sees me. We broke up soon after.
14. Oh I have a good one. It's not a relationship-type meet the parents, but it's the worst experience I've had with someone's parents outside of my dysfunctional family.
My friend is the son of one of the Physics professors at my university. So when I got introduced to my future instructor (because I decided to major in Physics), I was forced to make some small talk. He also prepared a lovely dinner for us too!
I had no clue he had three other children in the family so he started talking about them. We talked a lot about how his oldest was in Germany and his second oldest skipped a grade (my friend). I started spacing out and instead focused on the food and how good it was.
At this time, he mentioned that his youngest daughter was at Girl Guides. And right when he said that, I let out the most satisfying "MMMM" to signify that I was really enjoying his food. I then clued back into the conversation and said "Girl Guides, yeah I like them". Which was a mistake when I quickly realized what I had just said. I could see my friend holding back laughter, but I just sat there and ate my food in silence.
He gave me this really weird look and I don't think he's looked at me the same since, even after being my instructor for six upper-level Physics classes. We never spoke of it again, but my friend likes to bring it up every so often.
15. Dated a girl for just a bit, no plans at all to meet her parents at this point. We had just finished having sex for the first time when she got a call from her mom, apparently they had a little much to drink and needed a sober ride home. She asked if I minded and I didn't so we headed to the bar to get them. They were kind enough to be outside waiting for us when we got there.
They were both leaning back on a railing above some concrete steps leading to an outside basement entrance. She waves at them and they wave back. Her dad lost his balance and went backwards over the railing. Her mom looked over and just started wailing. Made her stay in the car and call 911 while I went to see what happened. He landed just right on the corner of one of the stairs and split his skull wide open, dead before I ever said a word to him.
That relationship didn't last very long.
16. My girlfriend had me over for dinner at her parent house for the first time. Steak dinner with all of the fixins'. I take my first bite, swallow, immediately start choking. I'm so scared that I'm going to make a bad impression, so I took a drink of water to try to wash it down. Didn't work, so after about fifteen seconds without a single breath my face turns red, so I start freaking out and point at my throat. So my girlfriends mom does the Heimlich maneuver and I throw up all over the floor. Her two miniature schnauzers start licking up the aftermath, girlfriend's dad puts his napkin down and leaves the room.
17. It was the first time I had ever gone to a girlfriend's house to hang out and meet her parents. It was the summer before my 8th grade year. Needless to say, HORMONES! so I was an awkward, squeaky barely teenage boy.
Her parents were really excited to meet me because I was the first boy her daughter had ever introduced them to, so they planned a family cookout so I could meet ALL the family. I got there around 5pm, and, because it was in the country in Ohio, all the adults were already drunk.
To avoid as many drunk family members as possible, my girlfriend and I decided to swim in her pool for most of the night. At around 9pm, most of her family had left; only her parents remained. They were inside (still drinking) and me and my girlfriend decided we would have some "naughty time" in the pool, which in 8th grade meant me taking off my trunks and her taking off her bottoms. We hid them under the towels on the deck so it wouldn't be too obvious that I was naked.
After about ten minutes of fun skinny dipping, her parents decided to come out to check on us. However, in their drunken stupor, they decided instead to get in the pool with us. My trunks and my girlfriend's bottoms weren't easily accessible while remaining entirely in the pool, so I had to swim around naked while my girlfriend's parents were in the pool. I never knew how good of a swimmer I was until that day, because they never found out! However, I didn't date her for much longer after that.
with your friends!