1. I met his mom and said "oh this must be your grandmother."
2. Met the father at bf's hockey game. He was sweet and bought me a hot chocolate and himself a coffee. About 5 minutes later he gets booted from the arena for arguing with a ref and throwing his coffee at the refs face.
3. His mom asked us if we were "dipping winkies" (please bear in mind I'm a female) and said if he ever needed condoms for us to tell her we're "hungry for Hardee's" and she'd know what we meant and wouldn't have to explain further, and that she would either give us money for or go out and buy us condoms. I was fourteen at the time. Found out years later that she became pregnant and had an abortion at thirteen, she didn't want us to have to make that decision, so she really was just trying to be helpful. But it was a little much the very first time meeting her.
4. Sitting at dinner with the girlfriend and her parents (just met them 10 minutes earlier) having casual conversion when I sneeze-farted. I tried to play it cool but we all knew what happened. The worst part was about 30 second after it happened, after everyone had moved on, when the smell crept in.
5. The first time I met my fiance's mother, we had to walk past her to go to his bedroom, and he said, "Hi mom, this is nancydrewskillz." I said hi, she said hi, and that was it. We were more formally introduced in the morning.
But the next time we saw each other I came stumbling drunk into the house, told her how much I loved Buffy (she was watching it) and had a 5 minute conversation with their dog about how soft he was.
Two and a half years later, she's going to be my mother in law. And when her son and I were having a pretty serious argument a while ago she said to him, "If you break up with her, I'm trading you for her."
6. I was invited to a (former) boyfriend's house for dinner to meet his parents. When I got there, his father wasn't yet home from work so we decided to go for a walk. Boyfriend's mother told us to be back to the house by 5, so we were playfully racing each other back so as to make it in time.
I got to the door a few paces ahead of him, opened the door, and found myself face-to-face with his dad who was standing stark naked in front of the door. I turned around and hid around the corner, the father kind of yelped and ran down the hall, and we were both mortified. Turns out he came home and was getting ready to shower when the phone rang, so he answered it naked since he hadn't expected us back yet.
7. My ex boyfriend wanted me to meet his parents, and he told me they wanted to meet me too. We decided to drive up to their place in the bay area (we lived in Orange County at the time) for Thanksgiving.
I'm white, and he (and thus his parents) are Chinese. I normally wouldn't mention this, but apparently my whiteness made them not approve of me, and therefore not actually want to meet me. I didn't know they didn't want to meet me, otherwise I wouldn't have driven six hours and showed up at their house.
When we knocked on their door, his mother answered, looked at me and said (in Cantonese) "I told you not to bring the white girl here". More was said in Cantonese (I understood none of it).
To save money, his parents did not have the boiler on, nor did they have heat in the house. Not having a boiler meant not having hot water, and therefore not having showers. To remedy this, they had a membership at 24 hour fitness, where they went every night to have a shower.
They insisted that we go to 24 hour fitness for a shower, literally 15 minutes after showing up at their house. 24 hour fitness has communal showering. I'm absolutely terrified of communal showering.
I had to get naked with my boyfriend's mother, 15 minutes after meeting her. At that point, she had never spoken a word to me in English. The first actual communication she showed me was to thrust a hairdryer in my hands.
Anyway, the next few days were excruciatingly uncomfortable. Next to nothing was said in English at all, and I felt like everybody hated me. I spent several days just being as quiet, submissive, and polite as possbile. I was sent to his mother's garden to pull weeds in the sun for a few hours, and after that she apparently began liking me.
Later in the week she decided I needed a checkup at the doctor (for what reason, I don't know). Turns out she scheduled me for a vaginal exam, conducted by a man. A man who I don't know. A man who spoke in really broken English.
I explained to her that I was not comfortable with any of this. It was horrible and embarrassing.
8. He brought his mother on our first date.
9. I dated a Korean guy for a month or so in high school. I went to his house after school one day, and encountered his dad on the sidewalk before we made it there. He looks at me, looks at his son, and begins pointing at me and yelling at him in Korean. I had to awkwardly stand there for about five minutes of them going back and forth, before we parted ways and I just went home. Turns out he didn't want him dating a non-Korean.
10. My ex's mom surprised him with a visit while we were mid-sex. My clothes somehow ended up all over the apartment so I had to come out and greet her wearing nothing but his shirt and pretending it was a dress. She knew. Did I mention she was one of my bosses?
11. She only had her mother, her father passed away when she was young.
I go to her house to wait for her to get home and meet her mom, she has a bottle of dewars on the table. Her mom was pleasant (not drunk at the time) and she offers me a drink. I normally don't drink the hard stuff, but I decided to be polite and take it.
Her mother gets a phone call, apparently my new GF is going to be about 2 hours late. The mother sits down next to me on the couch and tells me.
Then the unthinkable happens, her mom (not very attractive by the way) puts her hand on my upper thigh. She says we have 2 hours if I'm interested and smiles.
Now at the time I was only 18, but I had enough common sense to GTFO real quick.
Meet up with my GF later on that night and don't even bring up what happened (what good could it do right?).
2 days later my GF shows up at my house and is wide eyed, her breath is labored (she ran to my house). She tells me that one of her best friends just told her that he slept with her mom. I ask when it happened, and she said 2 nights ago.
So made the right choice!
12. My husband and I are older (40s) and had been dating about a year before I met his parents for the first time. They live on the other side of the country and flew out to visit him.
His exgirlfriend found out and showed up at the restaurant, sat down, and dominated the conversation with all of the memories she had with them and my husband.
Awkward as hell.
They can't stand her, but are polite people. Anyway, this chick is a hot mess.
13. I met my exes mom when I was 15. They were a highly Catholic family and he wasn't allowed to date. So I would go over after school until it was about time for them to get home. So we're making out and my shirt and bra come off. Which was pretty escalated for us. Then we heard a car door slam. He grabs my shirt and bra, hands them to me and tells me to go hide in his closet. So I do. Shirtless. His mom and him talk for what seems like forever just outside the door. She tells him she's gonna go take a nap so to be quiet. After she went in her room he came and got me. Right as I am trying to get my bra on she steps out of her room and sees me. We broke up soon after.
14. Oh I have a good one. It's not a relationship-type meet the parents, but it's the worst experience I've had with someone's parents outside of my dysfunctional family.
My friend is the son of one of the Physics professors at my university. So when I got introduced to my future instructor (because I decided to major in Physics), I was forced to make some small talk. He also prepared a lovely dinner for us too!
I had no clue he had three other children in the family so he started talking about them. We talked a lot about how his oldest was in Germany and his second oldest skipped a grade (my friend). I started spacing out and instead focused on the food and how good it was.
At this time, he mentioned that his youngest daughter was at Girl Guides. And right when he said that, I let out the most satisfying "MMMM" to signify that I was really enjoying his food. I then clued back into the conversation and said "Girl Guides, yeah I like them". Which was a mistake when I quickly realized what I had just said. I could see my friend holding back laughter, but I just sat there and ate my food in silence.
He gave me this really weird look and I don't think he's looked at me the same since, even after being my instructor for six upper-level Physics classes. We never spoke of it again, but my friend likes to bring it up every so often.
15. Dated a girl for just a bit, no plans at all to meet her parents at this point. We had just finished having sex for the first time when she got a call from her mom, apparently they had a little much to drink and needed a sober ride home. She asked if I minded and I didn't so we headed to the bar to get them. They were kind enough to be outside waiting for us when we got there.
They were both leaning back on a railing above some concrete steps leading to an outside basement entrance. She waves at them and they wave back. Her dad lost his balance and went backwards over the railing. Her mom looked over and just started wailing. Made her stay in the car and call 911 while I went to see what happened. He landed just right on the corner of one of the stairs and split his skull wide open, dead before I ever said a word to him.
That relationship didn't last very long.
16. My girlfriend had me over for dinner at her parent house for the first time. Steak dinner with all of the fixins'. I take my first bite, swallow, immediately start choking. I'm so scared that I'm going to make a bad impression, so I took a drink of water to try to wash it down. Didn't work, so after about fifteen seconds without a single breath my face turns red, so I start freaking out and point at my throat. So my girlfriends mom does the Heimlich maneuver and I throw up all over the floor. Her two miniature schnauzers start licking up the aftermath, girlfriend's dad puts his napkin down and leaves the room.
17. It was the first time I had ever gone to a girlfriend's house to hang out and meet her parents. It was the summer before my 8th grade year. Needless to say, HORMONES! so I was an awkward, squeaky barely teenage boy.
Her parents were really excited to meet me because I was the first boy her daughter had ever introduced them to, so they planned a family cookout so I could meet ALL the family. I got there around 5pm, and, because it was in the country in Ohio, all the adults were already drunk.
To avoid as many drunk family members as possible, my girlfriend and I decided to swim in her pool for most of the night. At around 9pm, most of her family had left; only her parents remained. They were inside (still drinking) and me and my girlfriend decided we would have some "naughty time" in the pool, which in 8th grade meant me taking off my trunks and her taking off her bottoms. We hid them under the towels on the deck so it wouldn't be too obvious that I was naked.
After about ten minutes of fun skinny dipping, her parents decided to come out to check on us. However, in their drunken stupor, they decided instead to get in the pool with us. My trunks and my girlfriend's bottoms weren't easily accessible while remaining entirely in the pool, so I had to swim around naked while my girlfriend's parents were in the pool. I never knew how good of a swimmer I was until that day, because they never found out! However, I didn't date her for much longer after that.
with your friends!
The key to any successful relationship is communication.
The ability to be open and receptive to what a significant other has to say, as well as the ability to be able to convey something weighing on one's mind, can be healing.
But depending on the circumstance, some things are better left unsaid.
Curious to hear examples of what those might be, Redditor FamiliarFarmer8356 asked:
"What's something you wish you could tell your partner without upsetting them?"
If there is conflict, there is a way to discuss and address the issue in a civil and respectful manner.
Things Just Happen
"Every bad thing that happens doesn't require someone to be blamed for it. And that someone doesn't always have to be me."
A Cornerstone Of A Successful Union
"One of the cornerstones of a good marriage, is knowing how to argue. I’d actually say that before a couple get married, they should check how their potential partner behaves in an argument. What are they like when they get angry. It’s important because no two individuals are going to agree all the time. And on those occasions, it’s important to remember not to belittle the other. Deal with the issue at hand. And especially, don’t argue in front of the kids. You have no idea how much lasting damage this causes."
"All married couples should learn the art of battle as they should learn the art of making love. Good battle is objective and honest - never vicious or cruel. Good battle is healthy and constructive, and brings to a marriage the principles of equal partnership."
It's Not That Deep
"please stop complaining about everything."
"If you keep seeking out reasons to be miserable, you will find them."
"I'm tired of being dragged down with you."
There's no need to get defensive when there's something to discuss.
It's Not About You
"That some days I’m just tired from class and work and just want some me time, it’s not that I hate you my social battery is just running out."
"Her first reaction to something adverse doesn't have to be anger."
In The Words Of A Pirate
"In the wise words of captain Jack Sparrow sometimes:"
'the problem is not the problem, the problem is your attitude toward the problem.'
It Takes Two To Tango
"That I wish she’d be more independent so she didn’t need my help for everything outside the house."
"That it’s a little disturbing how aggressively he drives when he’s grumpy… heavy on both gas and brakes, zooming in and out of traffic, swearing at people who make mistakes… very unlike him."
Sometimes the truth hurts when talking about members of the family.
A Real Assessment
"That her mother is not a good person."
"I told my husband that it's not that his family is nosy and overbearing, it's that I hate watching him cave and negotiate as if they have a right to behave like this, and I really hate when I'm the bad guy for wanting reasonable limits."
"It got worse, then it got better, FYI."
"His parents are greedy, selfish people and treat him like an atm."
There's definitely a fine line between withholding your thoughts to protect the person you love and being brutally honest.
If coming clean isn't going to resolve an issue, then it might be better to suck it up and deal with whatever frustrations you have about the other person.
It's up to you, but make sure the delivery doesn't come from a place of rage if you do decided to be totally transparent about your negative thoughts.
Every family has a black sheep or every family in its entirety are black sheep.
What is a "black sheep" anyway?
It used to mean a person who brought shame or embarrassment to a family, but it's more often used now to mean the member who is just very different from everyone else—sometimes in a good way.
Redditor Frozen_yoghurt123 asked:
"Who is the 'black sheep' of your family?"
I'm the black sheep or at least I'd like to think so.
"Probably my dad's cousin, who went to prison for murdering his lover's husband."
DW_555Oh My Wow GIFGiphy
"My Dad. He is the only one of 6 siblings who wasn't a huge f**k up. And yet, before my Grandma died she stated that he was her 'biggest disappointment.' He is estranged from his surviving siblings... not by his choice. It honestly blows my mind."
"Toxicity is often a group mindset thing; people don't want you to leave because they are dysfunctionally co-dependent on each other and need each other to justify their own shortcomings in life. A lot of the 'family loyalty' stuff is typically shouted loudest by those who are the least good idea to stay loyal towards."
"My great uncle who stole my great grandfathers identity, stole a couple million dollars, and ran off. No one even knew he was alive until my great grandfathers funeral in 2009. No one has seen him since. My grandma started to cry because she honestly thought he was dead."
"Everyone else just kind of nodded on his direction and went on with the rest of the funeral. I just remember being very confused because I was 9 and I had never met this guy who my dad pulled me aside and told me he was my great uncle. It was a few years later that I got the full story."
"According to my mean aunt, the 'matriarch' in her own mind, it's my twin brother because "he doesn't care about family now that he's a doctor." (He's a resident. Chief resident. He works ridiculous hours and spends the rest of the time recovering from work.)"
"According to my ex-MIL (who still counts because she's Son's grandma), it's me, for divorcing her son."
"According to everyone else, it's Mean Aunt. The rest of us are warm and caring and compassionate. We have our moments; all of us have been accidentally thoughtless or done something selfish once in a while, but we're not deliberately mean and snarky all the time."
"My immediate family are the black sheep of the entire family."
DarthDreganJohn Stamos Cheers GIF by GrandfatheredGiphy
Sounds like everyone has a little black sheep in them.
"By now, my brother for cutting off everyone because he prefers his rude, selfish, paranoid, narcissist wife over all of us."
"My wife is the black sheep of her family in the sense that she's the only one who isn't a rude, selfish, paranoid narcissist."
Lvcivs2311Joe Dirt Brother GIFGiphy
"Me. My granddaddy told me 'I’ve only had the sheriff knock on my door two times in my 80 years, and both times he was looking for you! 'I did some dumb sh*t, caused a little trouble, burned a few bridges but always managed to stay out of jail. Partly because my sister has kept an attorney on retainer for me since I was 16."
"My younger brother (2nd of 4) is a compulsive liar and it got him in a lot of little trouble as a teen, then he told his wife he graduated a big college when we're not even sure if he got his GED because he failed to graduate HS, went to some GED school and eventually just stopped going."
"IF he graduated college, he never mentioned he was going in the 4+ years it takes nor mention graduation or have a diploma. He's not a bad dude, but now family time is super awkward when he and his wife are talking about 'their' college team."
The NOT good girl...
"My aunt's daughter. She’s been in jail for drugs, stolen money from my aunt and other family members to use on drugs and physically abused my aunt. My aunt has tried getting her help, but nothing has worked. She’s just not a good person, and everyone in my family, except my aunt, doesn’t want anything to do with her. I haven’t seen her in 8 years now, and I’m happy about that."
"A former nun - my great aunt - left the religious life and got married. She called herself 'the black sheep of the family' because her habit was black."
Back2BachExcited Julie Andrews GIF by The Rodgers & Hammerstein OrganizationGiphy
Well the black sheep sound like the most interesting family members.
Sex is great, but there are more ways than one to accomplish that euphoric feeling without sex.
There are so many small, ordinary aspects of life that can just send a person and we come across them daily.
A good steak.
A home repair.
The things that make you say...
"I tingle all over."
Redditor OldAboba asked:
"What is the best non-sexual physical feeling you’ve ever felt?"
Adele. Adele live. She sends me.
FloatingRelaxed Exit Strategy GIF by Hannah Bronfman Giphy
"I got a professional full body (everything but my man parts) massage a few years back for the first and so far only time at a spa after the recommendation from a coworker. I felt like I was floating on a cloud for the next few days."
Through your nose...
"Sneezing when you're sick. Then you get that about 20 second feeling of breathing through your nose again and you like ahh that's what I aspire to at the moment."
"Or the very last sneeze of your illness. During a fire drill in high school, I was ambling out after fighting a head old for a few days. The alarm was killing my head which was already throbbing from the sinus pressure."
"I was nearing the field, well away from my classmates, when I cough/sneezed out a huge, green loogie - cleared it about three feet, no icky trail - and by the time I was walking back to the building I was feeling pretty much back to normal. No more head cold after that. Never had something like that ever happen again where there was such an abrupt end to the head cold."
"Right after a migraine goes away. It's almost a spiritual experience."
"This was going to be my answer. I was in the ER one time for a really bad migraine. They gave me what they called a 'migraine cocktail.' When they pushed it through the IV I could feel the cold liquid make its way through my body, up to my head. Once it hit my brain, the migraine was gone. It was pure ecstasy. Even better was that cocktail had Benadryl in it so I fell asleep not long after and slept so good."
"That stretch til you shake when you wake up."
"I once stretched too hard in the morning and got the worst calf cramp ever... it looked like a prune and I thought I would die from the pain. Couldn't stretch in bed for months afterwards out of fear it would happen again."
"When you move over 50, it turns into that stretch til you put your back into a muscle spasm that lasts days."
The ItchScratching Feel Good GIF by 60 Second DocsGiphy
"I had a cast and splint on both my legs for 2 months. When they cut it off, they scratched my legs for me and the itch was just top notch! Yeah."
Itching an itch can change a life.
YUM!Emma Stone High Quality GIFGiphy
"When you're starving all day and devour a bomb a** meal."
Sleep for Life
"When you’ve been up for 20 hours+ and finally get into bed and you just know it’ll be the best sleep of your life."
"But man, after 36+ hours, the body sort of aches and it's hard to fall asleep despite being completely exhausted. Then the restless legs kick in... ugh. I do agree that a 20hr-ish stint is amazing to cuddle into, especially if you don't have to get up at any specific time the next day."
"Makes it better when you’ve been sleep deprived for weeks and know you have NO PLANS tomorrow and can sleep as much as you need."
"When you're absolutely busting for a pee and you can finally go!"
"Apparently there’s a thing called a 'pee-gasm' that people (usually women) have that causes an orgasmic feeling when you pee after holding it for a while! I’ve definitely experienced this and I’ve intentionally waited a while so I could have that good feeling... lol."
I Can Hear!!
"The feeling of water leaving your ear after being there all day."
"I had some impacted earwax for a week in one ear, and when it finally got removed it was the best feeling in the world. Initially it was like having a tv or radio in my ear that only had static, but then I could hear. Good god, I could hear. It was amazing."
"Oh man, and it’s WARM from being in your head, and the warmth makes the sensation of leaving even better."
A Good Restdog puppy GIFGiphy
"Sleeping in a warm blanket in winters."
"Or sleeping in a cold blanket in summer."
I am enthralled by all of those things.
People need to stop throwing out unwanted advice.
And when it is requested, think before you speak.
People with mental disorders don't need everyone telling them they have a fix like "exercise" or "herbal supplements."
Redditor Gold-Ad-2827 asked:
"People with mental disorders: What do you hate being told the most?"
I hated being told to just smile. You smile and go away.
Duhseth meyers GIF by Late Night with Seth MeyersGiphy
"It's all in your head. Where else would it?! My colon?"
"Everybody goes through that."
"This saying makes my blood boil. Or the 'I was that age once too ya know' yeah no sh*t you were that age once. And just because you were that age once doesn’t mean we have the same experience."
"They try to minimize it."
"You're worried? Just stop."
"You're sad? Just don't be."
"You're compulsively binge eating? Eat less."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Or even better, 'Just do it!' As if ADHD paralysis can be stopped with a can-do attitude."
"I get so frustrated when people treat the idea of 'holistic medicine' as some kind of woo. How does it escape so many people that the body works holistically? Even a lot of doctors seem to ignore this. It's very frustrating when you have 2 or 3 or 4 illnesses that are all affecting each other, and your 'physical health' is held distinct from your mental health, and nothing anyone is doing to treat you works because no one's looking at the whole system."
"I just got a lecture from a psychiatrist I am seeing about nutrition, and he apologized to me for doing so but I told him, 'No, I appreciate it. Do it for all your patients.' because it told me he's trying to look at the whole picture and actually fix what's wrong. It gave me faith in him."
RelaxCalm Down Golden Girls GIF by TV LandGiphy
"You need to calm down."
"Never is the history of calm down has calm down ever caused anyone to calm down."
Calm down. I hate that one. You calm down.
TipsSeason 23 Reaction GIF by Law & OrderGiphy
"When they try to give me tips on what to do, like bruh as if I didn't already try that."
"You don't look sad. No crap... that's so I can avoid having this conversation. Also depression isn't 'being sad' like people think."
"God, I hate this. It's because saying 'I'm depressed' has been standard for people expressing that they're slightly unhappy about something dumb like not getting enough croutons on their salad or some crap. Now that's just what everyone assumes you mean when you say you have depression."
"'Stop being lazy.'"
“'Lazy' is when you don’t want to do anything at all. 'Executive disfunction' is when you can do everything at all, but that one easy quick thing that you do want to do just makes you and your brain freeze completely days ahead. I’m tired of people not understand that even when I explain and look at me like I’m bullshitting instead."
Ways to Cope
"Maybe you should try praying harder. I did, He prescribed medication."
"Praying is a way to cope for a lot of people, I think. That's totally fine, but insisting on praying in lieu of getting real help or actually addressing the issue is when it is not only unhelpful, but dangerously detrimental."
"Religious people will bypass everyone’s cultures, identity, views, and feelings just to be right and make a point. it’s disgusting. I read somewhere that real so called Christianity is all wrong. The real faith is from the Aramaic history and all the meanings were misinterpreted and the stories and all were made up by Catholics wanting to control their people. Yuck."
'contamination'Disgusted Season 6 GIF by Brooklyn Nine-NineGiphy
"As someone with OCD with a lot of attention to 'contamination', having someone try to explain contradictions in why I'm doing something that is technically unclean when I wouldn't do something that is technically clean due to OCD. There are a few doorknobs that I will not touch no matter how much you clean them in front of me and I know it makes no sense, if it made sense I wouldn't have OCD i'd just be cleanly."
Stop trying to be an armchair therapist. Be empathetic to people first.