WARNING: the following article contains discussion of suicide/self-harm

You think you know someone.

Then they go off and die, leaving behind a web of lies, conspiracies, stories of innappropriate conduct, and a whole lot of debt to be settled.

Sometimes. If you're lucky..

Other times, like the stories below, can be much, much worse.

Reddit user, Comfortable_Tomato_3, wanted to hear what you found out that you wish you hadn't when they asked:

"(serious) What disturbing thing did you find out about someone after they died?"

You don't know everyone's stories, their struggles, their hardships, or the obstacles they were forced to overcome.

Because of this, you might not understand the difficulties behind the decisions someone made before they passed.

Maybe they needed to pass fraudulent checks?

Need To Pay The Bills Somehow

"My great grandma and her brothers were notorious in Watertown Massachusetts for their check fraud and forgery schemes."

"Oh the things you find out about the woman who would make you hot cocoa"


Gonna Make Them An Offer They Can't Refuse

"Grandfather died when I was around 10. I distinctly remember being at his funeral and seeing a group of men there that weren’t associated with the rest of my family. I think I remembered this because I watched them pull up in beautiful cars and thought they must be rich and 'cool'."

"Probably around his age at the time too. I wasn’t told until I was older but my grandpa had been involved in some organized crime for most his life and most of the time he was “traveling in Europe” he was actually in prison. Those men were his “partners” and my family hated them."


Family Can Be Anyone You Choose

"I had a neighbour several years ago. Divorced, old guy. Was really nice to people. He always bought candy for all the kids in the neighbourhood (not a paedo). He died 10 years ago. His son told us that the reason he was nice to us kids was because he lost 3 of his 5 children while they were below 10. Not disturbing, just very sad."

"Edit: Wow, I didn't expect this to get so much attention. Mr. Volkov was a really nice guy who suffered a lot in his life time. His son told us so many stories about him. Got married at 21 (right after military service - mandatory at the time), lost his wife when he was 40 to stomach cancer, lost 2 of his kids to an accident, another kid to a drunk driver."

"He had to be strong for the remaining two kids even though his son told us how many times they heard their dad crying in his bedroom. To him, we were the kids and grandkids he should've had, despite him having 4 grandkids. R.I.P to the nicest guy in the world - Mr. Volkov!"


Then again, maybe they weren't forced to do something bad, or mischievous, or heartfelt.

Maybe they were just bad people.

You Don't See It Until You Get Some Space

"Not too disturbing per say, but definitely a let down and it changed my view about them. I loved and respected my grandma all my life so when she got sick and passed away, I was really heartbroken."

"A few years later, I found out me and my sister were her least favorite grandkids because my dad was poor. It made sense to me suddenly. All my cousins would get gold bracelets or nice stuff for special occasions while I’d get a $20."

"Whenever my cousins were visiting, grandma would cook all their favorite food while me and my sis had to stay away from the dining table til they’re done. Basically we just eat scraps."

"I just didn’t realize all this until my mom pointed it out to me. I guess since I’ve been treated that way since young, I never think of her any differently."


What's Better Than One Family?

"I’m European and uncles lived in USA. I did ancestry dna. A few months later a girl from Vietnam contacts me claiming to be a cousin. Typically anyone who contacted me was a 4th or 5 th cousin which basically means nothing."

"This one is a FIRST cousin. Turns out my uncle who was married in USA and had kids, was in Vietnam War had a whole other family. And the 3 Vietnamese kids are named after his American kids. SURPRISE!"


"Holy crap! How did that unfold in your family, if you don't mind my asking?"


"I sent pictures, that my new cousin had, to his brother (my other uncle that was also in Vietnam at same time). Pictures of my now deceased uncle with his Vietnamese ‘wife’ and info he’d written on back of pic which included his name, the name and address of the NGO he worked for."

"Absolutely nobody in our fam was aware of any of this. I’ve told my siblings that they have 3 Vietnamese cousins, but have no contact info to advise my cousins of their namesakes from the other side of the world."


After reading through some of these last ones, perhaps it's best to let sleeping secrets continue to rest.

Can't Help If You Don't Know

"That my ex wife physically and emotionally abused my daughter when I wasn't around (we had a 70/30 custody arrangement essentially, I had weekends and 2 evenings a week.) Didn't find out until months after she died and kiddo had finally had enough therapy to come clean. I had no idea."


You Think You Know Someone

"My friend was a really bubbly friendly guy and somehow he ended up beaten to death by 3 or 4 other men on the street. They were probably all drunk. No one was ever arrested. After he died, his sister cleaned out his apartment and found a USB with gigabytes of ch!ld porn on it."


It Was An Accident

"That my Grandmother accidentally killed her younger sister. They were walking back from school and my GM shoved her sister and she fell under a car which ran over her."


Past Behavior Doesn't Dictate Current Actions

"A girl I went to HS with died in a horrible car accident."

"It was early morning on a summer break Saturday. No alcohol or drugs involved. We all assumed she fell sleep."

"I found out later that year that she had an anonymous blog where she posted, several times trough the years, that she wanted to commit suicide crashing her car."

"According to her parents, friends and teachers, she never show any suicidal tendencies. It always baffled me how you can have all this mind process and nobody could guess it."


If you or someone you know is struggling, you can contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). To find help outside the United States, the International Association for Suicide Prevention has resources available at https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/

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