Adult entertainment has seen a boom in the last few years.
And it's real work for many.
Who is anyone to judge?
Yes, it's still a taboo topic for many.
But if that is where your success lies, than who is to judge?
Redditor Isuckathis22 wondered what everyone would say if they discovered someone close was a sex worker, so they asked:
"What would your reaction be if your friend was a porn star?"
I actually have friends in the business. Doesn't change a thing for me.
Family Matters
Season 18 Omg GIF by America's Got TalentGiphy"We found out our cousin was a porn star, my mom and aunt (both 70 at the time) asked me to google her name to see if it was true... Um, safe to day I don't google family members anymore."
andurilmat
Earnings
"Not necessarily a pornstar but I do know a couple of people that successfully out-earn me to varying degrees on OnlyFans. None of our friends really care, but we are a little jealous of the money and not having to answer to a boss."
Cadenh16
"They actually re-use old videos and pictures. I know someone who did it for a while and is now retired but they have a huge vault of videos and photos that they pay a management company to post and chat with subscribers. They just sit back and collect checks now at least $150k a year after management fees."
secretreddname
My EYES!!!
"Depends on the friend either a bleach bath for my eyes or a night of studying."
CommanderAze
"I've watched professionally produced videos of 3 girls I know IRL."
"One posted a NSFW picture on FB with a more known actress which got me wondering since she was a dancer and I knew her stage name. One was through the rumor mill and the last I just stumbled on by accident. Thankfully no eye bleach was required but the dancer made me realize some things are best left to the imagination."
liquid_acid-OG
The Day Player
"I wouldn’t care."
"Source: my college best friend was never a star, but she did a few scenes, including with a famous pornstar."
"This happened nearly a decade ago. She used the money to fund her drug addiction. She is married now and is no longer involved in sex work (not that there would be anything wrong with it if she was). So no, I will not be giving more information, sorry lol."
infinite_five
Past Due
Living My Life Lol GIF by The MickGiphy"I just asked her a lot of questions. (She was retired by the time I met her)."
suhkuhtuh
The topic itself fascinating.
Who wouldn't have questions?
Good for You!
heath ledger joker GIFGiphy"As the Joker said, 'If you’re good at something, never do it for free.'"
"But in seriousness no big deal. As long as it’s consensual and they aren’t being coerced into stuff, sex work is work and shouldn’t be stigmatized."
cheesyoperator
NAH!!
"LMAO wouldn't necessarily call her a porn 'star' but somewhat encountered this situation. A girl I knew from when I was younger didn't really know what she wanted to do and tried becoming an influencer for a couple of years, but that didn't work. I followed her and always tried to be supportive of her doing influencing stuff because it was semi-related to the industry I'm in."
"Anyways that wasn't doing well so she decides to start an Onlyfans, she asked all her friends to subscribe and support her. It was like 5 bucks so I said alright f**k it lmao. For a while, I didn't want to even check it out because it felt weird but I did at some point sift through what she was posting but it felt so weird I was like... nah."
syntaxndsemantics
The Happy-Go-Lucky Guy
"I have a friend who’s done more than one professional porno. It’s been about 8 years since his last one. He received an offer from a producer shortly after we graduated high school. He claims he and the producer totally randomly connected over Snapchat. I suspect he researched the producer and reached out first."
"My friend is a good-looking guy and hasn’t been shy about his manhood. He made home videos with a girl, and I believe he passed those along. The girl in his home videos did amateur porn after. When he first told me I didn’t believe him. He’s shown me some of his work, and frankly, I’m pretty impressed that he put himself out there. The one 'film' he showed me featured him and an actress twice our age."
"I’m jealous that he had the opportunity. I’m not sure I’m secure enough to do it myself. He made enough money to put a decent down payment on a Dodge Ram, and he stopped after his parents found out, which is hilarious to me. He was also told that if he wanted to make real money he had to switch teams."
"I asked him his thoughts on the whole process, and he basically said it was easy money and a lot of fun. He’s a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. I was curious if he felt any pressure or nerves, and he said he didn’t. Nowadays, he’s in the trades, he’s single."
newadventures96
Bad World
"I ran into a high school friend about 6 years after graduating and learned that she was doing porn. It made all the sense in the world because was always highly sexual in school and she was open and not sorry about it at all. Was nominated for a VPN award too so she was doing quality stuff, I’ve been told. I just asked her question after question. It’s a pretty f**ked up world they live in. Wild and fun, but brainwashy and not good for the soul."
TennesseeStiffLegs
I got you!
in living color GIFGiphy"No judgment. Earn your snaps however you want. I'd only check out their content if they're comfortable with it. I'm loyal, we're going to be friends always, now let's have drinks."
Honest_Art_3266
How people make their money is their business.
As long as no one is hurting anyone, who cares.
Redditor ameen__shaikh was hoping the kids of sex workers would be willing to share their discoveries, so they asked:
"Children of sex workers, how did you find out your mom/dad was a sex worker?"
Truth First
Hey Girl Rose GIFGiphy"My dad straight up told me he was a gigolo in Denver in the 80s, 30 years later. He had moved out there to get away from an abusive home life when he turned 18 and found that that was the best way to make ends meet."
Stillawakeat330am
Do What You Have To Do
"My mom wasn’t in sex work anymore when I was born, but she raised my older brother on the money she got as a stripper. She worked customer service jobs my entire life. When I was around 7 or 8, I went to go do something on the family computer and I saw a Facebook message she sent to her friend referencing her days as a 'dancer.'"
"I was super excited upon reading this and confronted my mom, thinking she was a ballerina or something. She explained to me (in the most age-appropriate terms she could) that she was a stripper. Of course, she didn’t go into all the details until I was older."
infectedorchid
Shut up Auntie!
"My aunt drunkenly told me that my mom was a stripper one night and not a FedEx driver as she had told me. She traveled a lot (apparently she was a hot commodity) and would tell me that she was staying with her friend when she had to work because she lived closer to work. As a child, I had no reason to not believe my mom. I liked having her home a lot when I was young."
"I was 14 when my aunt told me and my mom had just quit and got a job as a secretary at that point. I wasn't upset by it. I was actually kind of proud that she was a traveling stripper and she brought in a lot of customers. My mom was LIVID my aunt told me though."
Sedaisedaiayay
Nice Men
"I remember living in a den, I was young maybe 6-7, I asked mom why her job was to dress up at night, and she told me she went on dates with nice men. I put two and two together probably around puberty. I didn’t put four and four together and stopped to think about how it affected me till my 30s."
EDMElevatorguy
Straight Up
"The woman admitted to it on my adoption papers."
Minute_Storm_5199
Good to always lead with the truth.
They'll find out anyway.
That's A lot
Confused Over It GIFGiphy"My mom told me so that I can be the person to report it if she ever went missing after a job. When I was 10, she would leave me names, emails, phone numbers, etc. anything she had to help identify a client."
DizzyConversation429
Work Bag
"My mom was a stripper trying to raise four kids. She would work nights, and I would see strange outfits and shoes in her closet and her 'work bag,' everything smelt strongly of cigarettes. I watched the movie Independence Day where Will Smith's wife was an exotic dancer… and I somehow figured out what that was."
"One morning she and I were sitting at the kitchen table together eating breakfast, I was in 4th grade, and I asked her what her job was. She looked at me funny and I continued by asking her if she was a stripper. She asked me why I thought that and I explained everything I listed above. She then confirmed my suspicions and thought my dad (her ex-husband) spilled the beans to me."
"I assured her that was not the case and she asked me never to tell my three brothers. I never did. She eventually got out of this line of work and is now very successful. I’m proud of her and although I used to resent her for some of her choices, I understand now she did what she could to do to take care of her kids."
Jiwalk88
Don’t blame Her
"My mom just told me and my other two sisters straight up. We were 11, 12, and 17. We were just okay with it I guess? Not like we had much of a choice on what our mom would be. She went on and did that for 15 more years...."
BackgroundImpress127
When I was 11
"Interestingly enough my grandma on my dad's side (my mom was the sex worker) was supposed to be punishing me for smoking weed or something I don’t really remember but to get in my head she found my mom's online profile advertising herself and showed it to me when I was about 11 years old. I moved in with my mom later on and she’s been in that line of work my entire life."
MeteorVesta
People have their preferences.
Let it be. We applaud these parents for broaching such difficult topics with their kids.
Found Her
richard gere gotta love this film GIFGiphyWhen I was in Amsterdam I did a red light tour, and the tour guide told us how when he was young and inexperienced he 'shopped around' the windows for a while, found the beautiful woman he'd ever seen, and kept coming back until he worked up his nerve.
Eventually he went in, stayed in there talking to her until about 4 in the morning, then she took him back to her place, that was nine years before he told us the story and they'd been together since then. She still worked as a sex worker and he was so open about everything, it was really interesting to get such an outlook from a tour guide.
Happily Ever....
Not the SW, but the partner of one.
I was going through a stressful time in my life and things weren't working out the way I had hoped. I was single and was always making time for other people and never felt like I was getting what I wanted in life. I knew nothing about sex workers at the time, and had never seen one before. I did some research for about a month or so and came across this girl's ad. She seemed legit and from what I could see in her pictures, attractive.
I booked her and was beyond nervous-scared leading up to the appointment. When the day came I went over and the cutest girl ever opened the door and welcomed me in. We talked about ourselves pretty much the entire night. I had only intended for this to be a one-time deal since it's so expensive! But, I decided to see her a few more times. I noticed she started letting me overstay my appointment time more each visit and I started getting suspicious. I didn't know if this was normal, or if she was into me.
I liked her a lot, but I figured this was her job and she probably just wanted to keep me, a steady income, around. She started doing other favors like making me dinner and my mind started going crazy and had to know what was going on. So I confessed that I liked her and hoped that was okay, and asked her to clarify what she had been doing, and what it meant.
Turns out she totally had feelings for me! We decided to date and now we're getting married!
Trapped
Really happy for the fairy tales people are telling here, but these stories don't end well often.
I had a second degree cousin who was a sex worker in Brazil. Started doing it since her father left her sick mother without a penny and she was a very beautiful girl. Worked as a sex worker for a few years and ended up meeting a Spanish tourist when she was 22 or 21. The guy was prince charming himself. Came back to Brazil a few months after meeting her to marry her and take her to Spain. Was really kind with the entire family, flooded everyone with gifts and sounded like a genuine nice guy.
A few months passed after their marriage and things seem fine, she gets to visit the family, sends updates constantly. Out of nowhere, silence. She completely disappears for years. It was the 90s, before cellphones or social networks. Her mother tried to reach the police, but it was useless. After around 8 or 9 years of silence, she calls back.
According to her, the guy was extremely jealous and abusive. The first signs were weird, but nothing terrifying, in her opinion. But things got worse, with physical and psychological violence, forbidding her of leaving the house until it turned into a situation where she was completely locked off the external world.
She ended up running away from home after many tries and took refugee on a church. While living at that church, she remembered one of her cousin's phone number - one of the few she memorized - and managed to call the family back. Most of us thought she was dead by then. That was in 2004, she had been missing since 95~96.
Now she is married and living in Spain with a regular man she met at the church.
4 Years In
Climb In Constance Wu GIF by HustlersGiphyMy fiancée is a stripper at a bikini bar. I used to frequent her club because my friend's sister was a bartender there and would hook me up on my bar tab. I met my fiancée and got to know her pretty well over the next 2 and a half years, then one night we were both there for my friend's (the bartender) birthday and got pretty drunk. She told me she had a crush on me and then later said she wanted to go home with me, which she did.
A year to the day after that I asked her to marry me, and I've been in the best relationship of my life for almost 4 years.
Caretaker
God, this was years ago when I was 21 but it brings back a lot of emotions even now. One of my regulars was a disabled gentleman in his 50s. He had broken his spine in an industrial accident and was paralyzed from the chest down. He'd gotten a large settlement and invested in property including his beautiful accessible cabin on the lake. He'd pay for me to spend weekends with him there as well as trips to the coast and the casino where he would give me money to play slots or see a show while he played cards.
He was kind and funny and had a comforting nature. I had bad experiences with men, but his disability made him vulnerable and open in a way that moved me and put me at ease. I even learned some of his care routines so I could be with him for longer periods.
He died when he developed a clot in his leg that broke free and got into his lungs. I didn't find out until 2 weeks afterward. His passing really shook me. I thought I had distance. I didn't realize how much I cared for him until he was gone.
Dawn
Related only, but one of my friends with unlimited business expenses was hosting in NYC clients from London. That night ended up at a strip club across the street from my home, and $1000 dollars in lap dance tickets ($20 each) in the middle of the table.
I tried one, not my thing, so I pocketed 3 of the tickets as souvenirs.
A year later, my nephew was visiting me as he turned 21, so I gave him the 3 tickets and sent him to the strip club. He did not return, but called at 8AM. "I'm making breakfast over at Dawn's place"
They went out for a few months.
The Bikie
A friend's sister and her friend were/are sex workers. They both fell in love with the same customer. The bloke was a biker and I'm pretty sure they loved the free drugs he gave them, not him. They had a huge blow out over this guy and basically didn't take long before they stopped communicating.
They both confessed their love for him and he cut ties with both because he wanted to spend more time with his wife.
Edit for non-Aussie's: Outlaws in Australia once upon a time rode on motorcycles and were/are heavily involved in crime syndicates. We call them bikies (buy-keys) (Australian accent) or singular (buy-key) (Australian accent).
ryan gosling friend GIFI saw girls always fawning over him- leaving some tips on stage so he would bring them back to the dressing room and they could flirt with him. I assumed it was a phase and tried to ignore my feelings. At the time I was suffering from chronic pain and an eating disorder. He just cared so much and went out of his way to help. We've now been married for 15 years and have three children.
"Lonny"
Using my throwaway. I was a sugar baby the moment I turned 18. Started having sex with a 60 year old doctor. I was poor so the constant showering of gifts, money, dinners, vacations, and clothes, I guess made me fall in love with him. All I would think about was "Lonny" (fake name) and what amazing thing Lonny had planned for us that day.
One day I get a call from Lonny and he tells me, we can't see each other anymore because he had caught feelings for me. I took this as my opportunity to tell him how I felt and I really thought we would get married. He then told me, "I can't be in love with a girl like you, so I have to let you go and move on to another girl I don't have feelings for." I was broken and depressed for a long time. I ended up using some of the money he gave me for therapy and eventually I got over it.
I Was Wrong
Julia Roberts Shopping GIF by SundanceTVGiphyI'll start with my story to get the ball rolling. Former sex worker.
When I was 18 I began seeing a married man in his early 40s who treated me with respect, genuinely listened and helped me with my school, and we hung out a lot too without having sex. After about 3 months of seeing him almost everyday I started to become attached. Then one day I told him that I thought I was in love with him and he told me, "I still love my wife. I only keep you around for...." I was DEVASTATED and never saw him again.
John
I've never used the term john, just client. While I haven't fallen head over heels for a client, I definitely have a few clients that I love. It might weird them out so I wouldn't tell them, but it's the truth. You meet some very interesting, caring people in my line of work.
I Miss Him
Cats Chibi GIFGiphyNever fallen in love with a client, but I do love some of them. My first ever in person client, and favorite regular is an absolute sweetheart and has a lot of the same kinks as I do, seeing him has the same excitement to it as hooking up with a hot friend. We had to cancel our last session because of lockdown and I miss him a lot.
Getting to know you.....
I worked as a dancer in LA and I met my husband at the club I worked at. We got married last year and have a 2 year old :) We are madly in love and no one knows how we actually met haha. Our life is beautiful together :)
Most people don't realize most of sex work is actually just getting to know someone very intimately. Lots of clients just want to talk, to have a bond, to forget something. Sometimes that bond is simply business but its no surprise that people do fall in love 💓.
Friendship
I was a regular customer of a camgirl back some time ago. After few stints I gradually started telling her not to take off her clothes and just talk to me, I loved her personality. She gave me her skype, and I thought, ok, and after one or two skype meetings I asked her for her paypal to transfer the money. She was pretty angry because she thought this was a friendship or a dating call and she said she liked my weirdness and general demeanor. We continued skyping for some 2 months more, and now we are actually friends!
Obsession
Married the guy that was obsessed with me, came to the strip club I worked at every shift I worked for like 8 months until I finally went out with him. Married 15 years, now getting divorced.
Dance of the Lap
Yes but I never really considered him a "John" He was a "regular" but he would just come in the club and we would have great conversations and would pay for a dance just to be polite since I was working but really didn't even want a lap dance. He isn't a lap dance guy, just has grown up with art scene people so enjoyed certain types of strippers and found them interesting, and a great way to take a break from his now corporate life. We quickly became more friends outside of work and if he came in while I was working it would be expected he pay me for my time but he had the money to spend so he didn't care.
Then eventually we started going on dates and we became official and he would just drop me off at the club on the way to work and pick me up after. A year later we moved across the country together and we're coming up on 2 yrs. we haven't fought once and very happy.
The Client
As someone that dated a sex worker, I just want to let any clients and potential clients know: sure. This happens. But it is very very rare, and if you are ever starting to get the feeling that she is into you, there is about a one in ten million chance that she actually is. It just means that she's doing her job well, and that you as a client are not. It's their job to make it feel real. It's your job to remember it isn't.
Benefits
Jimmy Fallon Hay GIFGiphyOne of my closest friends started out buying content and Skype shows. We now talk on a daily basis and have visited each other several times. As a matter of fact he'll be coming to see me in a couple weeks! We have sex and say we love each other and ultimately we are kinky pals. I would call it a casual long distance relationship as we are not pursuing anything different but are appreciative of our place in each other's lives. We say we are bffs with benefits. 😌
Like the Movies
I had to travel out of the country to attend my sister's wedding. The best man was my ex-fiancé (he dumped me) so I couldn't stand the thought of going alone. So I hired an escort to go with me and pretend to be my boyfriend. But he ended up being the most wonderful man and we fell in love. Worth every penny.
Happily Ever
Love Story Wedding GIF by angiecandellGiphyI'll keep it short and sweet.
I was at work when we met. I quit working and found another job shortly after. We've been together ever since. He turned out to be the love of my life.
Want to "know" more? Never miss another big, odd, funny, or heartbreaking moment again. Sign up for the Knowable newsletter here.