Remember when people actually met in public spontaneously and ignited a romantic spark after catching each other's eyes?
Yeah, I don't either.
But there was a time when people did just that. Meet in person. Young romantic hopefuls looking to make a connection would gather at bars or clubs and spend a fair amount of time preparing themselves to look good in the hopes of getting noticed.
Nowadays, people meet online, where how you present yourself in photos and bios is your one-shot deal in getting someone's attention long enough before they swipe left.
Not everyone is good at describing themselves on dating apps.
Redditor Breme_42069 was curious to hear bad but oh-so-good examples of this and asked:
"Online daters, what are some of the most unattractive stuff people put in their bios?"
Arrogance and a higher-than-thou disposition is not for everyone.
Is That A Threat?
"If you don't speak, I'll unmatch"
"whilst they literally make zero effort to talk to anybody"
"edit: I am ghey and was referring to male + male tinder, but it's news to me that this is a similar thing straight men experience too."
"Don't waste my time"
"This long laundry list of requirements in a partner with no mention of what they’re going to be bringing to the relationship."
Bad Is Still Bad
"When they announce how bad they are and get away with doing bad stuff as if it's meant to impress us."
People can be more amusing than sexy.
“I don’t even know why I’m here”
"Bro you made this account."
Everyone Everywhere All At Once
"My personal favourite is when you come across multiple profiles with the same profile pic but they are all in different locations. F'ken wizards."
"Their only photo is a group photo, with no indication of which one they are."
When The Hiatus Is Over
"This isn't the worst thing in the world but something I'm always bewildered by some variation of."
"hi, I'm back again, hopefully this time it will work out!"
"This isn't conventional social media with followers."
Some people just require more effort in getting to know–which indicates, they lack personality.
“Don’t be boring”
"'Just ask' was always an instant no from me. Plenty of other people provide some kind of info to go on, so why would I choose the low effort profile?"
“What do you do for work?”
“I don’t like talking about work.”
“Where did you grow up?”
“Are you implying I’m not from here?”
“What’s your favorite food?”
“Ok, I’m trying here and you’re giving me nothing.”
"Edit: talking about 'just ask' profiles here. If someone has more details I will gladly ask them more in depth questions about them."
The art of conversation still applies, even with dating online.
Single people seriously looking to meet someone should take the time to creatively express themselves in their bio. That might increase your chances of attracting more interesting users.
Also let your photos speak for themselves. Just make sure it's you in the uploaded pics.
Because no one has time for catfishing.
My whole career.
That's it. That's the best example of something that started as a joke and got serious.
You know that whole Michael Cera theory that he was lost one day and wandered onto a film set and has just been too awkward to tell anyone he's not a real actor, and now he's famous?
Yeah. That's pretty much how I got here.
Reddit user oreoboom12 asked:
"What started as a joke but became a legitimate thing?"
So there's me, there's Michael Cera, and there's ... this stuff.
Julius Pringlesangry episode 2 GIFGiphy
"Someone on Wikipedia wrote on the Pringles Wikipedia page that the name of the Pringles mascot was named Julius (full name Julius Pringles, I believe he named it in honor of Julius Peppers the football player)."
"Eventually this joke became Common Knowledge so Kellogg's legally changed the mascot's name to Julius Pringles."
"It even made it into a Jeopardy clue before he revealed the joke."
"But the Mascot was supposed to be a caricature of Dennis Gage. Their inventor."
"There was a cartoon (The Far Side) that had a caveman showing a picture of a dinosaur with a spiked tail. He is pointing at the spikes and the caption says "this is called the thagomizer, after the late Thag Simmons.""
"Spiked and clubbed tails are now called thagomizers in published papers."
"Edit; Apparently Thagomizers are the configuration of 4 spikes on a Stegosaurus tail, not all clubbed or spiked tails."
"I just loved that no one In years of paleontology, ever thought about naming the stegosaurus’s rather unique tail spikes"
"I am a huge Far Side fan and remember this comic, I did not know this lol that's amazing"
"They have a thagomizer fossil at a museum in Portland and it brings me joy every time I see the name on the formal placard."
The Catalina Wine Mixerstep brothers GIFGiphy
"The Catalina Wine Mixer from Stepbrothers."
"It was made up and in the movie it was actually shot on the mainland and you can see the island of Catalina in some scenes. It wasn't until several years later that they actually started holding a Catalina Wine Mixer on the island, which was inspired by the movie."
" 'It’s the f*ckin’ Catalina wine mixer!' ”
"I've been to the wine mixer and tbh it kinda just feels like a huge cash grab. Acts are just a meme and they nickel and dime you for everything. I went in 2018 so idk if anything a changed since then. Main st Avalon is more entertaining"
"Ha, I went there a few years ago and there was seriously a whole store dedicated to "Catalina Wine Mixer" merchandise. I had no idea why, but I did go to a nice beer festival that weekend :')"
Bee MoviePeace Out Respect GIFGiphy
" 'Bee Movie.' "
"Jerry Seinfeld supposedly pitched the idea of a B-movie about bees as a joke, but Steven Spielberg liked it so much that it got greenlit."
"That movie is just so funny for the wrong reasons. A kids movie where a human and a bee have a very questionable relationship that even Jerry Seinfeld admitted later on he didn’t know wtf he was doing."
"If you watch the movie without suspending disbelief, it is the most hilariously ridiculous movie ever. A woman leaves her boyfriend for a bee."
"one time when I was in a chemistry lecture I had the bee movie playing on my laptop and I got a note from a guy 2 rows back asking me to move my laptop slightly to the left so he could also watch"
"I mean that movie is a joke so... yeah lol"
Sup DocWake Up Reaction GIF by Looney TunesGiphy
"Bugs Bunny’s carrot started as a joke about a scene in a 1934 movie called 'It Happened One Night'.""
"Now, almost a century later, the joke has been lost and the carrot has just become part of the character."
"Bugs also changed the meaning of 'nimrod' which originally meant a skillful hunter. He called Elmer Fudd a nimrod (sarcastically I guess?). I’m not sure if people knew it was sarcastic or if they assumed it meant an inept person or idiot. But that’s what people think it means now. Idiot ."
"Carrots aren't even a good food to feed a rabbit! Well, the 'carrot' part isn't, anyway.
"They're too high in sugar content and if you feed it to your pet rabbit too often, can lead to serious health problems."
"Carrot tops (the leafy greens, not the actor), on the other hand, are great for rabbits and packed with nutrients!"
"Bugs Bunny: What's up, doc?"
"Doctor: Your blood sugar again, Mr. Bunny."
"Mel Blanc, who voiced Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots. Unfortunately, they couldn't find anything else that sounded like biting a carrot. So every take, he'd bite off a carrot, then immediately spit it into a bucket."
Cool Way To Sleep
"Tauntaun sleeping bags - started off as a ThinkGeek April Fools product, and then they started selling them"
"Holy sh*t, ThinkGeek is gone?"
"When did that happen?! /s"
"I lobbied for and bought one of these!! We gifted it to our nephew (and wished they came in big kid size too). It was so plush and soft and cozy. I saw one recently in a thrift store. They had a crazy price on it but it gave me a nice smile to see one in the wild."
Mr. WorldwideWink Celebrity GIF by MLBGiphy
"Pitbull’s concert at a tiny town in Alaska"
"I actually gained a lot of respect for Pitbull from that."
"He could have backed out of it, or gone somewhere else due to the votes being obviously manipulated, but instead he went to a remote location and gave the people there something really special."
One Josh To Rule Them All
"The Josh fight"
"Didn't Josh win that?"
"Aww, thanks for reminding me that that happened. Good memories."
"Please explain this, I've always heard about it"
"Last year some guy named Josh Swain on Facebook added a bunch of people with the same first and last name as him to a gc and then challenged them to a fight in a random field in Nebraska to see who would keep the name."
"It got ssed and spread across the internet. There were a lot of memes about it on Reddit and stuff. On the day the fight was scheduled, over 1000 people showed up (only around 50 were named Josh) and there was a Rock Paper Scissors match between the only 2 Josh Swains in attendance."
"There was also a fight with pool noodles between the fifty Joshes (a little boy named Josh Vinson won)"
"Finally, everyone who showed up got a pool noodle and started to fight"
"Several months ago, I was pulled over by a county sheriff (of course) for an expired sticker on my license plate. Didn't even know my registration was expired."
"He happened to catch a peek at my wallet which had numerous of my friend's old/expired/school ID's. He claimed it was the 'beginning stage of identity theft' and took my ID's from me."
"All of my friends personally gave them to me (inside joke) and I keep them in my wallet cause it's funny/for memories? Idk."
"Anyways, he was just phishing for anything he could possibly have against me, started asking about an old license plate from a car I don't even own anymore (never got rid of the plate) and just overall being a d*ck."
"He said if I wanted them back I would need a court order or to have all of my friends ask for them back since it was 'their property'."
"I jokingly said to my girlfriend, who was there with me the whole time, that I should be petty and make a legal case against him, but then I started thinking that I could just ask my friends to come to the station with me and demand the ID's back."
"Couple months later we head to the sheriff's office and ask for them back, turns out he shredded them not thinking anything would come of it."
"We're now in the beginning stages of filing a destruction of property suit against the station all because this guy was being an a$hole during a regular traffic stop."
"Dude you’re a hero, a champion of the people. Cops do these petty power trips all the f*cking time, good for you for giving a little pushback."
"This is the kind of joke turned real we need.
" 'Hey, let's go demand our expired IDs back from the cop who took them'."
"Cop: 'So I shredded them thinking nothing would come of this'."
"Enjoy destruction of property suit dill weed."
"Honestly, see about destruction of evidence as well. If you had made a case out of it he destroyed the evidence. Real boneheaded move right there."
"This is the exact meeting point of pettiness, standing up for yourself, and sticking it to the man that I live for....godspeed."
"The malicious compliance here is amazing"
B.I.R.D. Avian BoogalooBird Hello GIFGiphy
"The 'birds don't exist' fake conspiracy theory that was made specifically to make fun of conspiracy theories. Apparently, it was convincing enough that idiots genuinely believe it now."
"Flat Earth 2: Avian Boogaloo"
"I've seen pictures of people taking the joke to the extreme like customizing their 20-year-old van with all sorts of birds aren't real decals, but is there any real proof that these people are like, anti-vaxxers, or flat earthers?"
"I'm not doubting you I just haven't seen anything that doesn't look like an extremely high effort sh*tpost"
"I'm in the Facebook group and always assumed everyone knows it's satire. You get the occasional numbnuts who posts something along the lines of "Do you guys actually believe birds aren't real". I'm sure there are some who do but I think it's only a small percentage. (I hope anyway)'
"I think this is how flat earth society got started though."
"If it flies it spies."
"You mean Bio Integrated Recovery Drones?"
If we've learned anything today it's that truly there is no such thing as driving a joke into the ground or proverbially beating a dead horse. Eventually, if you press hard enough, a joke becomes reality.
... I feel like this explains so much...
There are just some actions we never grow out of.
When it's time to grow up... grow up.
Let's discuss the signs and scenarios we should know about.
Redditor Grouchy-Trip9582 wanted the grown ups reading to listen up and act their age.They asked:
"What is a childish behaviour adults do that makes you cringe?"
Why do some children behave better than adults? It makes no sense. Let's hear some explaining.
Simple AnswerOh No You Didnt GIF by happydogGiphy
"Getting mad when someone tells them 'No.'"
"At the bakery where I work, we offer free cookies to kids under 12 as long as they have a parent with them. As you can imagine, we run out quickly. I've seen a couple of adults scream and cry after telling them we've run out of cookies, like I've just run over their puppy or something. The kids usually just shrug it off and walk away."
"Yelling at their children on the subway basically having a tantrum as the actual child silently stares or spaces out."
"It’s the most upsetting reaction for me to see when a kid is being yelled at, honestly. Because most of the time you just know it’s such a common happening and they’re so used to it this is the way they cope."
"I know I’m not a perfect parent and I lose my temper here and there but I truly hope I don’t get to this point or where others see me as this type of parent. I think a lot of those parents, though, are also victims who haven’t figured out how to end the cycle of abuse/poor treatment. It is how they were raised so it is all they know and that is also sad. Trauma creating more trauma. :( "
"Getting mad at or demeaning cashiers/fast food workers."
"I wouldn't even call this 'childish' behavior, because kids generally don't even do this. It is only done by overly-entitled adults with superiority complexes and impulse control."
Oh Ma...uh GIFGiphy
"My mother sticks her fingers in her ears and goes 'lalalala' whenever someone is proving her wrong. All the time. Consistently."
Oh, I've lost track of how many times I've met these people. How are these adults?
SorrySorry Lebron James GIF by UninterruptedGiphy
"The inability to apologize/admit when they are wrong... I just think it's so strange. Like... No one expects you to be perfect."
"Blame others instead of taking responsibility for their actions."
"When people refuse to take accountability it is literally the worst. Even something as simple as, 'My God, you’re right. I’m so sorry I’m not sure what I was thinking.' Can really do so much to repair and mend relationships with others."
"This is not childish, this is manipulation."
"I was at Sports Authority for the final clearance sale. They had three weeks left until their doors closed for good so there were only about four employees left on staff and they had all completely run out of f**ks to give. Well this one lady pushes her way to the front of the line saying 'I had to wait so long to get help out there I shouldn’t have to wait in line.'"
"The woman at the register ignores her and continues to check out a different customer. Impatient lady tosses her things on the counter so the employee pushes them to the side and says 'I can help the next person in line' naturally impatient lady loses it completely, yelling at the employee; you know the drill 'speak to your manager, customer is always right, call corporate, I’m a busy woman with places to go' entitled person's greatest hits."
"The manager walks over to defuse the situation impatient lady starts yelling and the guy behind her in line (whom she cut in front of) steps in to explain she tried to jump the line and the cashier was just helping those who had already been waiting."
"The cashier looks at her manager with a ‘what are you gonna do? Fire me?’ Face. The manager looks at impatient lady and says 'you can either wait in line like everybody else or you can leave' she looked for a second like she was going to explode but just stormed out. It was amazing watching retail workers be able to say the things you know they wanted to say to every difficult customer."
"Having a screaming match like kids on playground."
"Some of my neighbours are like this, having huge screaming matches in the parking lot of their building or out on their balcony. It's like they want the world to witness their argument, which makes it feel extremely performative. Like they're not arguing because of a real disagreement, they're arguing for the benefit of their audience. I can't even raise my voice in public, so this mentality is very alien to me."
Go AwayPhaedra Parks Bye Felicia GIFGiphy
"My mom’s piece of crap boyfriend flipping over a table and storming out of a restaurant because they wouldn’t give him a discount for some bulls**t reason he made up. He was always asking to talk to the manager to get discounts and free stuff. Usually he’d get it too because those people aren’t paid enough to deal with angry morons like him. He died a few years ago fortunately."
Did y'all read carefully? Grow up.
On occasion, all of us look in a mirror and wish there was something about our physical characteristics that was different.
Being a few inches taller, having a different hair color, maybe a smaller nose.
But then, as we continue to stare at our reflection, we might suddenly realize there are some things about ourselves which we don't mind at all.
In fact, we might even be proud of our eye color, the shape of our ears, or having an enviable jawline.
For most people, finding their best attribute might not be so difficult to determine, owing to slim pickings.
But for those blessed with good genetics, choosing their best physical trait might be a bit more difficult.
Redditor askredditiscool was curious to hear what people with enviable genetics considered their best physical quality, leading them to ask:
"People who have 'won the genetic lottery' what qualities do you have?"
Come and get me!
"I'm not allergic to mosquito spit."
"So they bite me and I feel the pin prick, but I never get that red swollen itchy-as-hell welt."
"I also apparently taste bad enough to them that they will go for anyone else in the area before me."
"Ticks, on the other hand, will hunt me for f*cking miles."- open_door_policy
Million Dollar Smile
"No wisdom teeth!"
"The trade off is the ticking time bomb that is my cancer genetic..."- Opin88
"My teeth are nearly perfect."
"Whenever I switch dentists, they are a bit stunned at the first appointment."
"My husband hates me for it."- BilobaBabyHappy Dance GIF by benjamin lemoineGiphy
"I can actually lick my elbow."- Soulerous
"At age 72 I've fallen several times in the last few year, low blood pressure, and have never broken a bone in my life."- Duegatti
"O mio babbino Caro..."
"Perfect pitch."- HeliomobAnna Kendrick Movie GIF by Pitch PerfectGiphy
Pure blood indeed!
"Not a single blood related person who had or has cancer for at least 3 generations."
"Meaning parents, grand parents and grand grand parents and all their children and children's children."
"Or any other inheritable disease."- yohoho_99
Sleeping Beauty ain't got nothing on me...
"I inherited the Sleep Button gene from my grandfather."
"When I want to fall asleep, I just... do ...in a matter of minutes."
"I haven't struggled with falling asleep/waking up more than ten times in my entire lifetime."
"I can't nap for sh*t."- VertebrateCrossing
I got time...
"Not sure yet but like I may live a really long time."
"People on my mom's side just have exceptional lifespans."
"My great grandma got in a bad fire at age 45 and had third-degree burns everywhere."
"No one thought she'd recover or live very long."
"Out of pure spite for the husband she has been separated with for 23 years, she lived till she was 96."
"This was in India and she was upper lower-class."
"Meaning the healthcare was sh*tty."
"My great great grandpa lived till he was around 116."
"He maintained his capability and independence till the very end."
"In his last few years, he started to lose his eyesight and hearing but he still cooked his own food, bathed himself, did the house chores, etc."
"My grandpa is at 78 right now and he'll hopefully remain in good health."- a-lovelyy-ladyyOld Lady Dancing GIF by MattielGiphy
Some people are just born lucky.
True, it's what's inside that counts.
Which doesn't mean we don't still wish we had perfect teeth every now and then...
Self-awareness is a strong and admirable quality which far too few people have.
Particularly as those who are truly self-aware are often willing and able to admit when they're wrong, or if there is something about their personality which could, and probably should, be changed.
Truth be told, it doesn't take a great deal of self-awareness to realize and acknowledge your less than admirable traits.
More than likely, these are the things about ourselves that we've likely hoped we might change for a very long time.
Redditor sound-hub was eager to hear people share their least admirable qualities, leading them to ask:
"What's one bad trait about you?"
Give people some closure!
"I never finish the things that I"- BadAndNationwide
I just can't stop
"Having an addictive personality."
"If there's an activity or substance that triggers dopamine release, I'll probably take it to an extreme."- DeathSpiral321
I don't want to get out of bed..
"My laziness will be the death of me."- A_R_K_SKevin James Eating GIF by TV LandGiphy
I can't, I'll never be able to...
"Pessimism and lack of confidence."- Iamnothuman77
"I lack confidence."
"I constantly try to get reassurance or double checks on my decisions before making them."
"It has helped me to avoid making certain mistakes but I feel like if I was more confident in myself, I'd be better off."- HumbleOwl
I don't need the help, so stop asking!
"I’m too prideful."
"I don’t ask for help when I need it and make myself miserable powering through a sh*tty task or situation."
"It’s a problem."
"I’m trying to break myself of it."- like5or6
"I got no patience.. non.. nada."- shine_hunterWaiting Patiently GIF by General HospitalGiphy
Do you think they'll like it? Oh I hope they do...
"I’m too much of a people pleaser."- Positive-Help6449
I'd rather not say...
"I don’t talk."- TheCowOfArdonia
"I use sarcasm too often."- The_StankyBootMaggie Smith Sarcasm GIF by Downton AbbeyGiphy
It's brave to admit the things about yourself that could be improved.
But it's important that this is how you feel, and not how others perceive you.
Only then should you even begin to think about changing any part of yourself.