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People Break Down The Worst Things They've Seen In Online Dating Profiles

People Break Down The Worst Things They've Seen In Online Dating Profiles
Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Remember when people actually met in public spontaneously and ignited a romantic spark after catching each other's eyes?

Yeah, I don't either.


But there was a time when people did just that. Meet in person. Young romantic hopefuls looking to make a connection would gather at bars or clubs and spend a fair amount of time preparing themselves to look good in the hopes of getting noticed.

Nowadays, people meet online, where how you present yourself in photos and bios is your one-shot deal in getting someone's attention long enough before they swipe left.

Not everyone is good at describing themselves on dating apps.

Redditor Breme_42069 was curious to hear bad but oh-so-good examples of this and asked:

"Online daters, what are some of the most unattractive stuff people put in their bios?"

Arrogance and a higher-than-thou disposition is not for everyone.

​Is That A Threat?

"If you don't speak, I'll unmatch"

"whilst they literally make zero effort to talk to anybody"

"edit: I am ghey and was referring to male + male tinder, but it's news to me that this is a similar thing straight men experience too."

– Jarrrad

Just Cocky

"Don't waste my time"

– SuvenPan

So Demanding

"This long laundry list of requirements in a partner with no mention of what they’re going to be bringing to the relationship."

–Astoriana_

Bad Is Still Bad

"When they announce how bad they are and get away with doing bad stuff as if it's meant to impress us."

– 11-06-2022

People can be more amusing than sexy.

Feigning Ignorance

“I don’t even know why I’m here”

"Bro you made this account."

– superkads

Everyone Everywhere All At Once

"My personal favourite is when you come across multiple profiles with the same profile pic but they are all in different locations. F'ken wizards."

– Grrrr-Argh

Mystery Date

"Their only photo is a group photo, with no indication of which one they are."

– 02K30C1

When The Hiatus Is Over

"This isn't the worst thing in the world but something I'm always bewildered by some variation of."

"hi, I'm back again, hopefully this time it will work out!"

"This isn't conventional social media with followers."

– DeafeningMilk

Some people just require more effort in getting to know–which indicates, they lack personality.

Trite Phrases

“Don’t be boring”

“Just ask”

– RebornHellblade

Instant Nope

"'Just ask' was always an instant no from me. Plenty of other people provide some kind of info to go on, so why would I choose the low effort profile?"

– SkunkyDuck

“What do you do for work?”

“I don’t like talking about work.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“Are you implying I’m not from here?”

“What’s your favorite food?”

“French fries.”

“Ok, I’m trying here and you’re giving me nothing.”

"Edit: talking about 'just ask' profiles here. If someone has more details I will gladly ask them more in depth questions about them."

– Manowaffle

The art of conversation still applies, even with dating online.

Single people seriously looking to meet someone should take the time to creatively express themselves in their bio. That might increase your chances of attracting more interesting users.

Also let your photos speak for themselves. Just make sure it's you in the uploaded pics.

Because no one has time for catfishing.

Married People Divulge What They Realized Only After Tying The Knot

Reddit user Ok_Reality-77 asked: 'What did you realize after getting married?'

Couple exchanging rings on wedding day
Photo by Saeed Sarshar on Unsplash

Generally, when people talk about marriage, they get excited about the big wedding day and the honeymoon thereafter.

People don't always talk about what happens in the marriage after the "honeymoon phase" wears off, and they certainly don't talk about the other long-term realities of marrying someone for life.

Pondering this, Redditor Ok_Reality-77 asked:

"What did you realize after getting married?"

It's Not All Romantic

"Marriage isn’t just about the person you want to have fun with. It’s also about the person you want to spend $10,000 on a new furnace with, or go to a funeral with, or get a flat tire with."

"Your spouse should make your way in life easier, especially during the hard times."

- aggressivelysingle

Wedding Invitation Drama

"I don’t get upset if I don’t make the cut for someone else’s wedding, that s**t is expensive."

- coconutmama77

"I had one wedding where I got pretty ticked off about not being invited, to be honest."

"One of the bridesmaids at my wedding got married a few years after we did. She was out in Baltimore, and we are UK-based, but she wanted my wife as her bridesmaid too, so we of course flew over. We were the only ones not local."

"In the rehearsal the day before, one of the groomsmen wasn't there, so I stood in for him."

"Then later that night, I was told that the wedding was a small affair and that only my wife was invited to the ceremony. I would be only an evening guest. They just neglected to mention that on the invite."

"It caused massive ripples among the guests because there was no reason for snubbing me like that."

"I really liked the groom and he was in bits trying to deal with the psycho fit his bride was throwing about everything, so I ended up just doing as told so as not to cause an issue for him on his day."

"Years later, she asked my wife on a video call if we wanted to come visit them sometime soon, and her husband said to her, 'You're kidding, right? You know he doesn't like you after the wedding s**t, right?'"

"She was shocked to learn that I thought she was an a**hole, lol (laughing out loud)."

- Wind_Yer_Neck_In

The Wrong Partner

​"Bad marriage does way more harm than being alone."

- rosiebunnies

"When I left my first husband for being an irredeemable a**hat, I truly thought I’d sworn off marriage forever. But here I am, 14 years into my second marriage, and I couldn’t be more thankful that I was wrong about marriage being a bad thing."

- -comfypants

"I’ve had my own bad relationships. Then I started to look at my parents' unhealthy relationship but then saw that my brother actually has a really good one, and that helped put things into perspective. Some people should be together, and others should not."

- Lancefree

The Value of Disagreements

"That true partnership means conflict is inevitable but productive."

"Part of me knew we'd disagree, but I took some time to know the best way to work through it. It's not being a doormat and it's not being right every time."

- d20sapphire

The Importance of Alone Time

"How much I NEED alone time..."

- blacksweater

"We live in a house larger than we need. So we each have hobby areas and our own bathroom in addition to general s**t we don't do together. Our friends think it's weird, but we are strong as f**k, and their relationships didn't survive the pandemic."

- GoldenBarracudas

Secret Personalities

"People can be really, REALLY good at hiding who they truly are."

"People keep telling me I must have missed signs. I think they just haven’t encountered people that can change on a dime like my ex-husband."

- InstantElla

Increased Income

"How much easier it is to afford things as a joint couple with two incomes."

- Ornery-Cattle1051

"To me, this is one of the few downsides to being single. I like my single life but do not like my single income."

- SnoopsMan

Constant Forgiveness

"Marriage is a constant exercise in forgiveness."

"Be sure you love them, like for real."

"Luckily for me, I do."

- pussinbootskitty

Marrying the Family

"They say you marry their family. You absolutely do."

"One day I was a girlfriend, and the next I was holding my husband's grandmother's hand while she died. I was dragged into family fights the likes of which I'd never seen. I've been loved and weaponized and defended like I could never fathom."

"I laughed at people saying they married the whole family. I was so wrong."

- IHeartChipSammiches

"You put this into words so beautifully. I never would have imagined how much I love his family as my own, even though they bug the crap out of me sometimes, lol (laughing out loud)."

- chipmunk_butt

Communication is Key

"That good communication is vital to a relationship."

"The ability to have a calm, rational conversation over any topic is something to strive for. The trust that the two of you can talk about anything in a safe environment is key. The ability to be honest and open with each other."

"Communication, y'all. It works."

- agharta-astra

Ditch the Highway

"You spent X amount of years doing things your way. So has your new spouse. Just because it's not your way doesn't mean it's wrong."

"It's okay to compromise, but it's also okay to realize that some things may come down to My Way, Their Way, and Our Way."

"My husband and I learned a lot from each other but 15 years later, we have never, NEVER compromised on how to fold laundry so we just each do our own. I don't mind doing his, but I'll fold it my way. He'll easily wash and dry mine, but he folds his way. It's nice that the laundry is done, but then I had to refold everything."

"For those wondering, I fold shirts in a tri-fold rectangle and he does some weird square thing. Incompatible in our dresser drawers."

- Scucer

Hands and Height

"I have to add (this may sound bizarre) that if one of you is left-handed and the other is right-handed, you will most certainly run into some problems."

"It seems ridiculous, but where you place things that you need multiple times on a daily basis comes down to space and which hand you use (e.g., dish soap, hand soap, etc. Basically anything on a counter in a kitchen or a bathroom)."

"This also applies to height differences. Sometimes we really, literally have to find the in-between, or accept that one or the other will be doing it for themselves and it’s not insulting. It’s just really for the best sanity of us both."

- HGLiveEdge

Cherish the Time

"I must say, for me, it would be Time. Time moves SOOOOO very slow, and SOOOOOOOOOOOOO very fast."

"I married my wife yesterday."

"We closed on our first house yesterday."

"We had our boys YESTERDAY."

"I finished our basement with my own two hands (and my best friends’ hands) yesterday."

"We sold our first home yesterday."

"My father passed away YESTERDAY."

"My boys started high school and middle school yesterday."

"I just made an @ss of myself tonight and needed to apologize to my wife! (This actually was tonight.)"

"Seriously, everything feels like yesterday, but it is moving by so quickly. I’m just trying to hold on, thankfully, she’s here with me."

- pencerules

Marriage Plus Kids

"Everyone was wrong, marriage changed nothing."

"But children... Children change everything."

- korinth86

"100% agree. We lived together before we got married. Absolutely nothing in our relationship changed. But kids. Oh lord, that changes everything."

- StannVeal

Medically Responsible

"It changes who can kick whom out of the hospital room. And that was why I got married."

"My husband got married for the feel’s and the frilly stuff. I got married so he/we inherit each other's stuff and get the final say on end-of-life stuff (it was a rough couple of years, I lost a lot of family in a short span)."

"Can all that be done separately from marriage? YEP. Is it viewed as seriously? Nope. Can it be done as easily and in one fell swoop? Nope."

"(This, more than the feelings, to me, is why people should be able to marry whom they choose, regardless of gender.)"

- sageautumn

Right in the Feels

"I like saying, 'My wife…' even more than I thought I would."

"We’ve each been married before, and we were together for 7 years before we got around to getting married (we knew where it was going very early). I didn’t think it would feel like that big of a deal to say, but… I love my wife, and the experience of referring to her is enough to make me smile."

- BetweenCoffeeNSleep

While there were some tough realities mixed into this list, most of the experiences shared here were heartwarming.

Marriage might be diminished by some to be just a piece of paper, but for those who take the symbolism seriously, there is some real happiness in store for them.

As the saying goes, "if it ain't broke, don't fix it."

Nonetheless, several brands and businesses will sometimes make noticeable changes, be it to reach a wider audience, or simply to shake things up a bit.

In some cases, the effort pays off, like Dunkin' Donuts, who decided to stretch beyond simply selling doughnuts and coffee, eventually even dropping the "Donuts" from their name, but losing none of their popularity.

Other times, things don't go as smoothly, such as when IHOP (an acronym for the International House of Pancakes) temporarily changed its name to IHOB (International House of Burgers), which turned out to be nothing but a weeklong publicity stunt, but was met with anger and vitriol from it's fanbase during that controversial week.

Redditor Fflewddur_Fflam_ was curious to hear what other brands the Reddit community thought betrayed their core audience to disastrous results, leading them to ask:

"Who abandoned their core audience and paid the price for it?"

Humans Are Technically Animals...

"Animal Planet."

"Their tagline became 'surprisingly human.'"

"Nobody wants to watch ANIMAL Planet for people."

"They have other channels."- rainbirdmelody

You Could Say Their Mission Slipped Through The "Cracks"...

"Cracked.com."

"There were a couple years there where they transformed from a second rate Mad knockoff to some of the smartest, funniest stuff on the internet."

"Then the people who held the purse strings decided listicles and photoshop contests were more profitable than a writing staff."- MichaelMyersResple

"StumbleUpon."

"It was a small website giving you randomized internet pages which I used to browse for hours as they were so fun."

"Now it turned into Mix and I have no clue what it is."

"Pretty sure no one uses it and it makes me sad."- MightyDaisy

Working On It GIF by KAT BALLGiphy

Less Handcrafted, More Hand-Me-Down

"Etsy."

'Used to be a fairly cool place to buy and sell mostly handcrafted stuff and items to make handcrafted stuff."

"Now it's basically shady Amazon with worse shipping."

"Everyone seems to be drop shippers and a lot of the more niche crafter/artisan things are pushed out and overwhelmed by cheaper, mass produced goods."- THIS_IS_MY_JOYSTICK

The Dreaded Paywall...

"Photobucket!"

"Back when forums were still a thing, Photobucket would host your images for free."

"Then one day they decided EVERYONE would have to pay monthly, no free tier, nothing."

"We all collectively agreed we would not be paying, and that was that."

"I feel like it may have contributed to the death of forums."

"Ruined a few of my car build threads, that's for sure."

"To this day they still send me emails a couple times a year threatening to delete all my photos if I don't come back."-pr0b0ner

Arguably, All For The Best?...

"Yik Yak."

"It was a way to have conversations with people in the area anonymously (really popular on college campuses)."

"They made an update to create user profiles and pretty much everyone just stopped using it because anonymity was the whole point."- Fakjbf

episode 16 moe GIFGiphy

Chocolate Lovers Revolt!

"This is incredibly niche, but in Norway there used to be two providers of chocolate powder, the kind you mix with hot or cold milk to make hot chocolate or chocolate milk."

"They were O'Boy brand and Nesquik, equally loved and enjoyed a healthy fanbase 'rivalry'."

"O'Boy is a Swedish product sold in Scandinavia and the Baltics since the 50s, Nesquik is of course Nestlé brand and sold all over the world."

"Sometime in the 2010s Nesquik decided to change the formula of the choco powder."

"I imagine to save money."

"And for making hot chocolate the new recipe was fine."

"What Nestlé underestimated, however, is that most Scandinavians drink their choco powder cold to make chocolate milk."

"The new recipe had a different type of sugar in it that wouldn't dissolve in cold milk, leaving a crunchy powder in the milk."

"Norwegians outraged, Nesquik was deemed useless, nearly everyone in the Nesquik camp migrated to O'Boy, and Nestlé lost almost all its market share overnight."

"A few months later, Nesquik is gone from the shelves nearly everywhere, never to recover from the blunder."- -Yngin-

Tornados Filled With Sharks Are Not For Everyone...

"Sci-Fi Channel."

"At some point there was no sci-fi on it."- AlienBeingMe

Tara Reid Storm GIF by SYFYGiphy

Not Everyone Can Keep Up With The Times...

"RadioShack."

"They went from selling electronic components, little gadgets, and interesting tech bobbles to nerds to trying to sell expensive cell phone plans and sh*tty batteries to a different audience."

"We saw that the customers who came to RadioShack shifted from middle/upper-income engineers and tech geeks to lower income people in a six year period."

"Then we saw the geeks stop coming in at all because they would come in for some capacitor or breadboard, and the person there wouldn't know what that was."

"If it wasn't a phone, they didn't know."

"Even if it was a phone, they probably couldn't tell you anything about it."

"Old RadioShack employees were knowledgeable and well paid."

"New RadioShack employees didn't give a sh*t about technology."- 001235

Seems FittingThat Their Old Audience Is "History"...

"Anyone else remember when The History Channel was about history and not about aliens?"- rienjabura

Found Footage Video GIF by Eternal FamilyGiphy

There's A Reason They're Not So Well Known For Their Food...

"Every restaurant that opens in the UK goes through the cycle:"

"New and interesting food."

"Very different from most British food."

"Becomes very popular."

"Owners sell to a large company."

"Large company decides that being popular isn't enough, they want everybody to eat there."

"Make the food more British."

"Looming failure is hidden for a while because they attract new customers at exactly the rate they lose old customers."

"New customers have tried it, realize they can get that food anywhere, stop going."

"Chain closes and is replaced by a Greggs or Nandos, depending on the size of the location (not dependent on how far away the nearest Greggs or Nandos is."- skztr

Money Doesn't Solve Everything

"Quora."

"There were excellent groups with intelligent discussions."

"Then it became monetized and people submitted 100s of questions a day."

"'What time does the Walmart close in Boise?'" "

"'My 16 yr old came home with an A- so I took away their phone for 6 months'."- JanuarySoCold

Bored Sales GIF by EGiphy

Success can be a very dangerous thing.

As it can make you think about nothing but getting bigger, often resulting in your leaving people behind along the way.

A cautionary tale for young entrepreneurs.


What makes someone a 10?

It ain't all about looks, baby.

Looks are fine.

But charisma is everything.

There are a ton of ingredients that make up attractive, though.

That's why it's good to know your strengths.

Redditor Overall_Wish_912 wanted to hear about how hot everybody thinks they are and why, so they asked:

"What is the most attractive thing about you?"

I think my eyes sell the whole package.

Light blue with a slight dusting of gold.

Connections

Yoga Anatomy GIF by YOGABODYGiphy

"More than a few radiologists over the years have told me I have nice connective tissues, ligaments in particular. Makes a fella kinda proud."

Southern_Snowshoe

Lashed

"I have exceptionally long and beautiful eyelashes. I’m working on my flutter. I’m also a guy."

bleepbloopmunchmunch

"I get complimented on my eyelashes too as a guy! Women often tell me they’re jealous. I never had a clue that was something women noticed until I reached college/university."

EasterButterfly

"I started getting compliments in high school. I remember freshman year, I was sitting at a round table and this really cute girl at the table just randomly asked me to close my eyes. I thought it was weird, but I did. Then she told her equally cute friend to look at my eyelashes, that they were so long and pretty like a girl's. At the time I wasn't sure if they were being nice or making fun of me (since they compared them to girl's lashes). I now get the compliment, though, and appreciate it."

DesertRat012

Beauty

"I'm not totally hideous, but easily the most attractive thing about me is my kindness. I hear all the time that people are just magically drawn to me/feel comfortable with me/like being around me. I'm charming, I guess."

StrangersWithAndi

"That’s such a good quality."

Overall_Wish_912

Look Up

"I'm 6'2 and the internet tells me that's like the most incredible and attractive thing ever apparently."

ConflictFast8743

"I’m 6’6 and wish I was shorter. My long-term girlfriend tells me I get checked out all the time but I literally never notice, I’d give up all the attention if it meant I’d never hit my head on a doorframe again."

CaptainLongshorts

"I'm only 6', but a woman and I have a 36' inseam. I love having long legs, they walk so fast and are my favorite physical feature!"

abqkat

Light as a Feather

the office therapy GIFGiphy

"My therapist said I’m a good egg, so there’s that."

CheddarBurgers

"Mine told me she never feels heavy when I leave her office. We’ve talked about some heavy sh*t so I took it as a compliment."

random_username3184

Not being the scariest and worst patient is definitely a gold star moment for the mind.

Perfect

Regular Season Sport GIF by MLBGiphy

"I’ve been told I have the most perfectly shaped head for a bald man."

KilnMeSmallz

"My dermatologist recently told me I had a great shaped head if I were to ever shave my hair off. It really got me thinking."

Weeziir

For the Boys

"The only attractive thing about me is my hair. Even that is debatable since most women don't like men with long hair."

SlayzorHunter

"Haha for me it’s my bald head! I look a million times better without hair than with it even when my hairline wasn’t balding that bad. I think the pics of me at 28-30 I look better than my 18-25 pics."

OkSwitch470

"Some men just have the cranial and facial structures that make them look better with bald head. I shave my head every 3 years, so I know how I look with every single hair length there is. It only starts looking decent after at least 9 months of growth."

SlayzorHunter

Share With Me

"I'm very nonjudgemental; it's amazing the things people will share with me!"

PeterGivenbless

"Same. I've had people share some pretty personal things with me soon after meeting them."

Krissyfox_7

"Yup, same. I have 'tell me all your secrets' stamped on my forehead. I do like it, though. Nice to get to know who people actually are and what they’ve been through, as opposed to the robotic small talk. Makes me happy that people see me as a 'safe' person."

East_Satisfaction242

Streaks

"I have bright blue eyes that get me plenty of compliments. The only other thing that gets close is my beard, and now especially the silver streaks lacing it."

fuqaduck

"The Silver helps. I was accused of dying it to look more dignified by a coworker, which was puzzling. Not quite a compliment, but compliment adjacent I guess."

604Ataraxia

The Nuzzle

"My long nose, it’s perfect for nuzzling the bean while dining out 🤤."

sussyboingus

"I had an out-of-the-blue compliment about my nose. A woman approached me and said I had an envied Roman nose. Noticing my confusion, she explained she was an art historian, and my nose was in the mold of Roman marble statutes. I've never heard another compliment about my nose, so who knows."

TWH_PDX

The Body

The Simpsons Dance GIFGiphy

"I’m short but I have a very nice figure. I get complimented for my butt a lot. I’m 5’2." I like attention so I don’t mind the compliments for the most part. I don’t get bothered by that as easily as some people do. But I have no respect for men that complement my body when they’re in relationships."

DrWiskers

Well, there are a lot of definitions for attractive.

Thank goodness.

a man and a woman walking in the desert

NEOM on Unsplash

When you're in a relationship, the things your significant other—or sig-O—does hit different.

Teasing remarks you'd laugh off from friends can feel like a knife in the heart when your romantic partner says it.

Minor slights can easily become major issues in your relationship if you feel vulnerable.

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