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People Share What They Regret Talking To Their Therapist About

It's not easy opening up to a therapist, and chemistry is important. Some patients have seriously bad luck, with therapists either not helping or making matters worse - like telling someone who was suicidal that they were simply hungry. WTF?


nick256 asked, [Serious]Did You Ever Regret Talking To A Therapist/Psychiatrist? Why?

Submissions have been edited for clarity, context, and profanity.

"Thinking happy thoughts" does not help with depression or anxiety.

Giphy

Yeah, when I was in my late teens this therapist suggested I should only think happy thoughts, that the abuse I received was my own fault for not standing up for myself, and when all of that didn't work she prescribed a high dose of Xanax for me. Literally said she would be beating the s*** out of her own daughter if she found out she was cutting herself like me (back then). I thought this was the norm and she was right, a better therapist later on told me that she was messed up and demanded the company she was with to make sure she wouldn't ever have another client again. Apparently she got many, many complaints as she did this to many of her clients.

M0rbidea

This is bad advice.

Had a therapist who recommended me to go visit my dad whose girlfriend had a month prior tried to strangle me to death, and had abused me for well over a year. I was five at that time.

Vislushni

Props for trying.

Giphy

I've been seeing a therapist for a year and it's been great. Some sessions are better than others, but it's helped me considerably with my issues of anxiety and depression.

However, she suggested than I try one of the group classes, and I was hesitant. But I figured that the worst that could happen was a bad experience, and signed up for one.

It went fine until the doctor/teacher asked to share what was bothering us. I was not at all prepared for this. It takes a long time for me to open up to someone other than a doctor about this stuff, I was not remotely okay with sharing this information with total strangers. I basically had an anxiety attack while waiting for my turn, and did my best to hide it when I was asked to speak, but I wasn't able to form coherent sentences. The doctor reminded me to try some of the basic anxiety coping mechanisms and I basically clammed up after that. I spent the rest of the class trying to not dwell on the fact that I had a anxiety attack right in front of people.

I felt worse after that than I did before I stared seeking help. It only really took me a week or so to feel normal again, but there is no way that I'll ever do any kind of group therapy again.

boredInAnER

Malpractice 101. Crohn's can cause depression, however.

At around age 12 I started getting terrible, burning stomach aches. All I could do was lay in my bed, waiting for it to go away. Went to my doctor and he "diagnosed" me with lactose-intolerance (I did drink a lot of milk) and depression/anxiety. Made me go to a therapist but I just knew that wasn't the issue. Mentally I was fine, still am. Kept going to these over and over again, learning nothing, while my health state got worse and worse. My body turned to bones, my skin was as pale as a ghost. But no, I was "just sad." (Don't worry, I know depression is more than just being sad.) It almost got to a point where they just about convinced me they were right, and it was just a mental thing. Finally went to a professional and was immediately diagnosed with Crohn's disease. Within a month after receiving treatment, my skin color came back, and I gained around 10-15 pounds after being deathly below what I should have been. It wasn't totally the therapist's fault, but it still made a little upset that I was always just told I was wrong.

Blue707

"Religious therapist" should be considered an oxymoron.

I did! I found it really difficult to talk about things and it was emotionally draining.

I'm a reserved kind of guy, and I don't talk about that kind of thing, so opening up was unnatural and too much to deal with for me.

I also saw a Christian therapist, which in hindsight maybe wasn't the best idea for someone questioning their sexuality.

Cockwombles

That's not how it works.

Giphy

There was a time when I felt down a lot, so I figured seeing a therapist might be a smart move. She told me emotions are a triangle of happy, sad, and angry if I recall correctly.

"whenever you feel sad or angry, just think about things that make you happy"

That's it, that's all there is to it apparently.

Thanks doc.

racoon1969

Just pray! Pray it all away!

Yes. Husband and I went to marriage counseling after a large marriage altering event. He chose a Christian counselor. I had misgivings, but went anyway.

Chick basically spent every session telling us to read some workbook she was selling (not even one she had written), and then ended in prayer. Yea, not helpful at all. We ended up only going a handful of times and working things out on our own instead.

SJane3384

Well, here we have an ethics violation.

Yes.

So my ex-school has this system where a psychologist will come in and talk to kids that the school thinks needs some therapy. The school pays for the psychologist to assess the student and if the psychologist thinks that the student needs some extra therapy, the school will then allow for extra sessions. I suffer from a lot depression and PTSD but I have a psychiatrist outside of school that helps me so much, but regardless of my improving mental state, the school wants me to see that psychologist that they have just in case.

So I went in there, explained that I am doing really well and that I just want to spend some of my free time I have for myself but the school psychologist didn't want to hear that and continues to question me on and on about stuff and so I eventually told her that yes I do have recurring nightmares of my mother who was abusive sometimes and that affects my sleep a bit, it's no big deal, it doesn't affect my mood or my overall performance at school but the psychologist wanting the money, goes to the school and tells them "She has reoccurring nightmares of her mother and I think she needs some extra therapy," basically exploiting that ONE THING I SAID SO THAT SHE CAN GET MORE MONEY.

I found the sessions really unhelpful and it sometimes even cause me panic attacks afterwards because that of a psychologist digs up well buried memories that I have long forgotten back to the surface and pretty much undoing all the ACTUALLY USEFUL THERAPY WORK THAT MY PSYCHIATRIST OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL DID. I got so fed up at one of the sessions that I walked out and my father made a formal complaint to the school board saying that they are forcing me to do unnecessary treatment despite several different requests cancelling therapy sessions.

renegadeheartache

Takes a lot to be this hangry.

Giphy

I was suicidal and the therapist told me I was probably just hungry.

JettFumes97

Awkward. And seriously unprofessional.

Yeah. Wife and I went to a marriage counselor. He tried to rub one off when we were talking about our sex life.

mrg1957

On whose side was this therapist?

Yes, very much so. I struggled a lot as a teen with bullying at school and what amounted to what I now recognize as emotional abuse at home. I was very depressed and anxious. I started having thoughts of suicide at age 13. I eventually convinced my parents to let me see a psychiatrist, though they didn't really think there was a problem. I was a HS freshman at the time, so 15-16.

I liked the doctor a lot at first. He was friendly, he really listened to me talk about my issues, and he was the only sympathetic adult in my life at that point - I thought. After a while, he told me the way I was being treated at home was very wrong, and he wanted me to bring my dad in to a session so we could all talk about it together. He felt that if he were mediating the conversation, my dad might actually take my feelings seriously. I thought, "Wow, this is great, I will finally be heard!"

The next time I came in, I brought my dad, but the doc did a complete 180, talking about me with my dad as if I weren't even there. He told him he was doing a good job as a parent, but I was just a bad and rebellious kid who did everything for attention. The best thing to do, he said, was ignore my attention-seeking behaviors and not validate them in any way. He said he didn't believe I was really depressed at all and was faking to get drugs.

A friend had died in a car accident just a few days before, so I was already in an emotionally vulnerable place. Whenever I tried to speak, they'd just talk over me, like I was just some thing, not a person with feelings. I started to cry, so the doctor pointed at me and said, pretty triumphantly, "See! She's crying now because she knows I'm right. I can't be right because I'm old, isn't that right, downhereforyoursoul? You can't stand for an adult to be right!"

I tuned out whatever was being said after that, just quietly cried while they continued discussing me and my issues with authority or whatever. Home life worsened after that because now there was even less of a chance for me to ever be listened to or taken seriously. I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. It was many years before I felt comfortable seeking help again.

That ahole is probably retired or dead by now, but f*ck him. I'm still salty about it.

downhereforyoursoul

This is profoundly unhelpful.

Giphy

Yes, she repeated what I have to do is change my personality. Feeling depressed and anxious is about my personality... Interesting.

[deleted]

Isn't it the therapist's job to recognize signs of abuse?

Yep! My therapist, who is been seeing for a year prior for other reasons, had incredibly unreasonable expectations for a new relationship of mine. Talking about "true love" and how "some people just get so lucky finding 'their person' so young". I remember having misgivings at the time, but continued seeing her. Started having relationship problems so brought him with me to the therapist. Therapist started getting erratic and giving contradictory advice in the same session. Ended up having to dump the therapist before dumping the SO.

Ironically, this therapist is supposedly the best in my area for post-abuse counseling.

MacSolLeo

When your therapist violates confidentiality...

Yep. As a teen I had a few sessions with a psychologist. I wanted to go in order to talk about some historical trauma but my father was paying for the sessions because he wanted me to figure out how to better adapt to life with his new batshit crazy wife. After a few sessions, I found out that the psychologist was having regular discussions over the phone with my father and disclosing what I was saying during our sessions. I promptly freaked out and then refused to seek psychological help (which I really needed) for close to a decade.

In_Odd_We_Trust

Don't treat patients like customers.

Giphy

She treated me like a product and did her job like it from a checklist. I wasn't in a good mental state at the time and she pushed too many of my buttons. The most notable thing I said to her was "stop regurgitating the same bile you find off of the internet and do your f*cking job."

JonathanBloggs


Men Who've Gotten A Vasectomy Share Their Experiences

Reddit user GaleNotTheWind asked: 'Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?'

Pair of scissors
Markus Winkler/Unsplash

According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 50 million men have had a vasectomy.

Although avoiding sexual intercourse is the only effective way to avoid pregnancy, the male birth control procedure still has a low failure rate.

Those who are apprehensive about having a vasectomy fear the following: pain, impact on sex life, effectiveness, and side effects like cancer. (The National Cancer Institute and the American Urological Association have found that the procedure does not increase the risk of prostate cancer).

To seek some reassurance, Redditor GaleNotTheWind asked:

"Men of Reddit who have gotten a vasectomy, what was your experience?"

Guys discuss what happened after the snipping.

Making Sure

"For the love of God, do the follow-up appointment. The last thing you want is to be accidentally playing with a loaded gun."

– sleepypanda59

Wise To Wait

"The paper work I got for mine which was done less than 2 weeks ago said that you could have sex 2-3 days after but... definitely said to wait another few days."

– SisterPhister666

Follow Post-Surgical Procedures Or Else

"Had it done twice while living in Japan no less. Why twice? The first one failed."

"... apparently, so did the second (says my now 6 year old daughter)."

– shoelessmarcelshell

These men found that the procedure itself wasn't a big deal.

Assurance

"I was super anxious, but I had a great procedure. I was more freaked out about the shot of numbing agent to the balls, but it was legit nothing to worry about."

– Reddit

Normal In No Time

"Little operation, blue balls and no wanking for a week, then back to normal but without getting anyone pregnant."

– Bright_Composer_3901

"Made the mistake of having a pop after a couple of days. Jesus, the regret."

– Alante

Best Money Ever Spent

"When I woke up after the anesthesia - yes I asked to be put under, best $55 (after insurance) I ever spent - the caffeine headache I had upon waking was the most painful part. The preoperative instructions were nothing but water the evening before, no water for 4 hours before going under. The Safeway brand cola that the angel aftercare nurse brought me was pure refreshment."

– HarrumphingDuck

Cherry On Top

"Local anesthesia stings for a second or two then all you can feel is tugging after all is done the pain I would describe is like blue balls for like 2 days tops. I took a week off work recommend by doctor since I’m a construction worker and the heavy lifting but I felt like after day 3 I was good to go. Cons: minor pain discomfort, no hanky panky until last semen sample came out clear. Pros: , no unplanned pregnancies(it’s still possible very rarely)."

– Secure_Requirement84

Some final thoughts.

Only Pros

"To me, the only bad part was the smell of the cauterization of my vas deferens.. the procedure was fine. Local anesthesia before and during just felt slight tugging no pain. Recovery was easy. No pain. No cons. Only pros. And if absolutely need be it’s reversible. Much easier and less invasive than a woman getting her tubes tied and significantly less harmful than birth control. I’m an advocate. Get it done!"

– PunchARacist

One Unsettling Thing

"For me, it wasn’t the smell but watching the little puffs of smoke during the cauterization. That was truly and deeply unsettling."

"Otherwise, yeah, nothing major to report. Stayed in bed for a day watching old horror movies and assembling a Lego plant. Pretty much business as usual after that."

– GuestCartographer

The One Constant

"Got a vasectomy, it worked. Got it reversed, that worked.... twice Got another vasectomy...17 years later, all good. Just go to a legit great Dr. I mean top of the field Dr. For ANY messsin around down there. Vasectomy is WAY easier now than 25-30 years ago. In/out in an hour... The only thing that hasn't changed? ... The bag of frozen peas ..😂"

– richwat00

Vasectomies are performed via two methods, the incision vasectomy or a no-scalpel vasectomy, and both use local anesthesia to numb the scrotum.

Always consult a healthcare provider before undergoing the procedure and–most importantly–make sure you don't want to have children or that you and your spouse don't want to add additional family members.

Based on the anecdotes above, there's nothing to fear, so feel free to man up and get to snipping.

gray conveyor between glass frames at nighttime
Tomasz Frankowski on Unsplash

I've always enjoyed a good scare on film and my Mother indulged my preferences as she also loved a good horror film.

While we thoroughly enjoyed a good Disney movie together, I was also allowed to watch Jaws, The Exorcist and The Omen before I was 10 years old.

Slashers and sci-fi frights were good, but to me the most effective scares involved nightmarish scenarios that might easily happen in the not so distant future.

For me, growing up Roman Catholic meant demonic possession and the AntiChrist were on the list of plausible fears.

But what films offered possible Hellscapes for others?

Keep reading...Show less
wedding bands on dictionary
Sandy Millar on Unsplash

Infidelity in marriages isn't as widespread as people think. While some cynics would have us believe faithful partners are scarce, they account for over 4 out of 5 spouses.

Still, 16% of married couples in the United States admitted to being unfaithful at some point in their marriage.

And 57% of divorces were due to cheating.

In marriages where infidelity occurs, but doesn't result in divorce, the loss of trust is still a problem. It can make emotional and physical intimacy challenging.

So why do people cheat instead of ending their relationship before moving on?

Keep reading...Show less
shallow photography of man hugging woman outdoors
Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

When it comes to flirting, everyone has their preferences of how they like to be flirted with. Some people like cleverly crafted pickup lines.

I always thought pickup lines were a cheap way to get someone's attention. That being said, there are some good ones out there. I've been on the receiving end of both. "On a scale from one to America, how free are you tonight?" and, "You must be the square root of two because I feel irrational around you."

Both got me to engage in conversation, and I even dated the guy who used the first one for a while.

I'm not the only one that knows some good pickup lines. Redditors have both heard and used some pickup lines and are eager to share their favorites.

It all started when Redditor Sauce_Dealer420 asked:

"What's the best pickup line of all time?"

Read It And See

"You put the sexy in dyslexic."

– koookyko

"This made me laugh so hard."

"Because I can read properly."

– TappedIn2111

I'm Hooked

"This girl I used to work with and I went to a bar after work and we’re having fun, and she leans over to tell me a joke. And she says:"

"Three boy mice and a girl mouse were all stuck in a room with no doors and no windows. One of the boy mice asked the girl mouse how to get out and she said, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"The next day, he is gone. The second boy mouse asks the girl mouse how he got out and she says, “Sleep with me tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning.""

"Next day, he’s gone too."

"So now the girl telling me this joke says to me, “Do you want to know how the last mouse gets out of the box?”

"And I say “yes.""

"And she says, “Sleep with ME tonight, and I’ll tell you in the morning”. All this while staring me in the eyes and smiling."

"I said, “Check please bartender!!""

"I forgot to ask her in the morning, but that was the best pickup line I’ve ever heard."

– reb678

Statistics

"The odds we sleep together are 50% because half of us agree so far."

– AlfheimKitteh

"Math is always super sexy."

– Acceptable-News-6811

Money, Money, Money

"Hey girl, are you the English financial system? Because I'm about to give you a weak pound."

– onemanwolfpack21

"Yo girl, do you know exchange rates? Because Euro 10."

– kkirchhoff

Winner, Winner

""Are you a magician? Cuz every time I look at you, everyone else disappears.""

"This line got me a wife and three kids. 😊"

– PRSHZ

One Liners

"Are you a beaver? Cuz damn."

– Starry_Night-

"If you were a fruit you'd be a fineapple."

– Slainna

"Hi, do you want to go for a ride on a Harley?"

"(My name is Harley) 😁"

– OMNIxvTRIX

No Losers

"If I asked you for a date would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"

– SchemePale6222

"I got blue screen in my head."

"Explain please."

– TastyToothpasta

"You can't lose. Say no, the answer is yes. Say yes, the answer is also yes."

"Dang sounds kinda creepy writing it out like that. Still clever wordplay though."

– Steeze_Schralper6968

Clever

"My go-to was always:"

"I used to be a history teacher, so I know lots of important dates. Want to help me make another one?"

"A little corny, but it usually worked."

– StuffToday

Refreshing

"That one actually worked with my ex on the first try."

"-Hey, do you like water?"

"-Yes."

"-Then you like me in 70% already."

– azurskyy

Sneaky

"Would you date a complete stranger?"

"If she says “yes” you’re in."

If she says “no.”

“Then allow me to introduce myself.”"

– Blastspark01

Playing Coy

"Once a girl came to me and told there was somebody who thought I was cute."

"I asked her who and she said “Me.""

– evil_boy4life

Prop Lines

"You have to have a handful of limes available to do this:"

"Hold the limes, drop the limes in front of the lucky person. Then say 'Sorry, I'm not very good at pick up limes.'"

– cannibalcats

Egg-cellent

"Best one that worked for me was:"

"Me: How do you like your eggs?"

"Her: Over easy, why?"

"Me: Just making sure I have things right for when I make you breakfast in the morning."

– Radiant_Boss4342

The Best Line

"How you doin?"

– 2x4x93

"There was a time when this was the ONLY line you could use!"

– JohnsLong_Silver

That line would definitely work on me!