Woman Seeks Advice For Subletting Her Apartment With Difficult Roommate Who Can't Get Her Act Together

Difficult roommates are no joke. They can really ruin your entire life. And then how do you deal with asking somebody else to step into your situation?
u/needroomiehelpplease laid out her situation for us:
I'm [22F] at my breaking point with my difficult roommate [23F] over a moving-out mess. Feeling like I deserve for her to be flexible just once. Am I being unreasonable?
I moved in with Holly 9 months ago. We met on Craigslist but she seemed nice, was my age, and so I bit the bullet and jumped in. Where I live, places are extremely expensive as well as very hard to secure - so if you decide to move, you better be ready to move the weekend coming. I wish I'd have had more time to get to know her and look at more apartments, but that's life.
Holly makes $44k, and I make $73k despite being a year younger than her. I think she's a bit resentful of this, and thinks I don't have any money problems or any reason to keep a tight budget. I've explained to her before that I have student loans, car payments, and several other financial 'responsibilities' that I've committed to, and paying for gas and train fare to and from work (30 miles away) etc. but either way - she often makes snide remarks about how I make soooo much more than her (probably undeservedly in her opinion, although I was an ambitious teen and have technically been working in my industry since I was 16, and I got my bachelors in 2 years so I've had more years of experience at work. I'm actually below market salary for my title). Her parents bought her a car and pay for it, and they put her through college debt-free. She also seems to think that her job and responsibilities are far more difficult than mine, and that she's grossly undervalued.
Anyway, when we moved in, it was in a rush, and it was very hard for us to find somewhere within her budget. She was also very picky and inflexible about everywhere we looked at. For a budget of $1200/month, she wanted W/D in-unit, separate bathrooms, a second floor apartment, parking, a large bedroom, lots of light and windows, and something lofty with exposed brick. Unfortunately, those demands are laughable in the area we live. Coming from the mid-west, she really didn't understand that. So, we found a place that is literally the best deal I've heard of in the area - a first floor 2bed 1bath, dishwasher, with a patio, a gym and pool and parking lot, and coin-operated laundry in the building. However, for her to afford it I would have to pay the difference of $175. So, her rent for the last 9 months has been $1200, and mine has been $1375. For this, I got an only slightly bigger bedroom.
I've hated living with her. She's extremely messy and treats the rest of the apartment like it's her bedroom. Her clothes are always everywhere, she never washes dishes or takes out the trash, and the bathroom is disgusting. She leaves used tampons and pads out in the open and uses an electric toothbrush for about 4 mins every morning and night and just drools toothpaste any place she walks while she's brushing. I'm the only one who has ever cleaned the bathroom, and it took me until 3 months into the lease to realize she didn't know how to use the dishwasher. Aside from her gross behavior, she's extremely needy and takes up all of my energy if I'm even in the room with her. Her social skills are lacking because she's so over the top and exhausting to be around and doesn't know how to be 'chilled', and I know she's had issues at work about her professionalism. She is a social justice warrior and will rant to anyone she can get her hands on about issues she's only half-informed on. None of my friends like her, or will hang out with me if she's there. Any guy I've ever brought over turns out to be 'just her type' and she ends up crushing on them forever. She's also a virgin which has been a bit awkward but not a huge thing - it just means that when she's around a guy she misinterprets very small things as being big (e.g. OMG he hugged me what does it mean). She also goes on rants about guys and sex when she's literally never had it. I really just can't stand being around her and sometimes she talks so much at me that I start to want to cry in the middle of her speaking. I just shut myself in my room whenever I'm home, or spend my time on the patio which she doesn't like to do because she gets cold. Luckily I work from about 9am until 8.30pm and do a lot of workout classes or networking events most evenings.
At the beginning I tried to drop hints and make nice suggestions to her, to try and get through it better and make it work. Nothing worked though, and she would only get very insecure and upset - asking if I hated her while on the verge of tears. I just want to be direct, but she can't handle it, and it makes the living situation worse. So I just shut up for the rest of the time and tried to keep busy. I stopped telling her what I would be doing so she couldn't invite herself. She confided in me that she was kicked out of her sorority in college and that 'people always leave her' and she was so happy that I wasn't going to do that to her. I feel so awkward and phony around her and just spend most of my time nodding and zoning out of her rants, or saving errands like grocery shopping or working out until I know she's at home.
I always thought I was an extravert, but I realize now I'm a social introvert. I love going on dates and seeing friends, but I haven't done any of that because an hour at home uses up all my people energy for the day and I just want to hide. I used to go on a date every week or two, but I literally can't face human interaction because she sucks all my energy out, leaving me depressed because I'm not having fun outside of work. She always needs rides places, picking up from the airport (which she won't reciprocate if it conflicts with her agenda or her sleeping from 11pm - 11am) and needs emotional support about her job issues 24/7.
Ok - so fast forward until today. I'm moving to the City to be close to my office. Holly wanted to stick together, but nowhere in the city is in her budget and she wouldn't be able to get any of the amenities she insists on. So, after 2 months of looking for places and gently discussing it, we've come to the amicable choice that we will live in different places. For a while she was sending me links to places that were 2b1ba where I would be paying 2.4k and she would be paying 1.2k - and I told her I couldn't stomach paying double than her for zero extra perks. Anyway, I'm venting, sorry. So we're moving. We thought our move out day was July 1st, so I made plans around that. I found a gorgeous 4bed with a couple friends in the City, a 10 min walk to my office. I'm moving there on Saturday.
Holly on the other hand, can't find anything because she's so damn picky. She won't budge on her amenity requirements. So we went to look at the lease to see if she could do a month-to-month extension and find someone random on Craigslist to take my room while she remains here. It turns out we both messed up and the lease actually ends on July 31st, a month after we had anticipated. Holly was really happy because it meant she had more time, but I am devastated. My move-in costs at the new place are totaling about $5k this month - and I can only just just just make it work. This now means that I also owe an extra $1375 to pay the last months rent at the old place with Holly. It's my own fault for not reading the lease properly before I signed for a new place, but it sucks.
Since she had suggested a new CL roommate for her staying at the apartment, I asked if we could do that for July anyway and she said yes as long as I found someone "not crazy". I put an ad up, and have had loads of responses. We're right next to a famous university, so lots of smart and mature students/executives here for summer have been emailing me. I've forwarded them all onto her for approval and she's said no to all of them for various, silly reasons.
Finally today a girl emailed me saying she was doing a summer medical program at the university, and she was bringing her sister (who wants to do a grad program) to see the school too. They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used. They sounded the most promising, and I was sure Holly would be interested, so I sent their app along. I thought she would be keen on having two potential friends.
She responded saying
Her: I also think the rent should be higher.. This is a downgrade of quality of living for me so I shouldn't pay as much. Kinda like how you didn't want to pay $1000 more than I was paying to share a bathroom with me in the city.
Me: I think that's a bit different because you're already sharing a bathroom, and we were talking about a $1000 discrepancy there for the exact same living situation as each other. How much more would you want them to pay?
Her: Right, but sharing a bathroom with two people is different than sharing with one person. You and I don't have conflicting schedules, so it's a non-issue, but I would be pretty annoyed if I couldn't get ready in the morning because there were two other people in the queue, when I didn't sign on to share a 2BD with two other people. My mom's office weighed in and they all recommend the rent being split in thirds. I mean, I think the point is I shouldn't have to be stuck with anything? I signed on for a nine-month lease with one person I knew. And all the sudden the expectations are changing and I'm supposed to pay the same. How would you feel if you were in my shoes? This is my life, too.
I do see her point. But I'm really frustrated because I thought that this was going to be the one she liked, and I'm at my wit's end. The women can't afford what Holly is asking for, and there is nobody else in the pipeline that she approves of. I feel like I've spent the past 9 months bending to her needs, and sacrificing my time and money because of it, and she can't give me this one thing? Just 3 weeks of having an extra person use the shower, which will be paid for in utilities. Everything I feel like I've done for her is coming down to the line for the bathroom? I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it, only to have her treat it like shit. I just want to get the f out to my new apartment, but I don't know what the fuck to do about the last month of rent I'll owe, and can't afford.
Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not? Do I tell her everything I've told you here and hope she changes her mind? Am I being unreasonable? If I am, what should I do about the cost of the last month of rent?
Thanks for letting me vent, I appreciate any insight.
TL;DR: I need to move out of my place a month early, and can't afford to pay rent on two leases. My roommate won't accept anyone for a month-long sublease so I don't know how to afford it. I also feel like I deserve a favor from her, and more than anything I've just reached a breaking point with her and am very upset.
Here was some of the advice she got.
One
Do I just sublease my place to someone whether she likes it or not?
Yes I think you should. However....
They both wanted to stay in my room for 3 weeks but would pay for the full month to make up for extra utilities used.
I'm willing to bet there is something in the lease regarding guests and length of stay so if you piss off Holly the sublease might not work if she decides to go scorched earth.
I've collectively spent 1,575 more than her on our stupid apartment just so she could afford it
I think that should count for the extra month but honestly you might just have to end up eating the 1/3 cost and file under the "jerkwad tax" for getting her out of your life.
Two
Oh my god this person sounds horrible. Pick someone...it seems she's delaying the inevitable so that you'll end up having to pay that month which you can't. Or just leave her alone to deal with getting a new roommate and move the f out of there when you were original planning on leaving. Or ask if you can shorten the lease by that one month. I'd move the f out of there and let her deal with the bullshit she's created. I don't have patience for selfish children like that.
Three
Equal split doesn't make sense if you're splitting a 2 BD/1BA by 3 people. It shouldn't be 50/50 or by thirds. Something in between if she had been paying a fair amount (which it sounds like she hasn't).
But it honestly might not be worth arguing this. You're dealing with a baby who goes to mommy and whines, rather than deals with something herself. If I were you, I might take the financial hit for two reasons: one is she might do something shitty that causes you not to get your security deposit back and two is you don't want her to treat your subletters like shit. I know it's not your fault that she's a sh*tty person, but I would feel bad about that.
Four
If money weren't an issue I would just pay July's rent and tell her to f*ck off at this point. I am completely exhausted by her just from reading your post. She has literally had a negative affect on almost every aspect of your life, you can't go on dates or hang out with friends because of her. You have convinced yourself that you owe her something or that she's too weak and would be devastated when you leave so you are putting your entire life on hold just to appease her. Honestly I hope you completely cut contact when this is all said and done, this is not a healthy relationship.
Five
You can be nice for only so long. If it comes to it say something along the lines of "Out of respect for you I brought you into the sublet process, even though I didn't have to. However, it has reached a point where I have to make a decision. These people seem really nice and will be here just 3 weeks. I'm sure you will get along with them during that time."
Six
Does it say anywhere in the lease that you need the other roommates acceptance to sublet your room? If no, just do it. You met this person on craigslist 9 months ago, you owe them noting.
Seven
I agree with /u/Slayer1791 -- if her permission is not required, do it anyways. You've already let her dictate the terms of your arrangement for this long. Unless she's legally able to dictate this, don't budge. You don't owe her anything and it's not like you want to continue being friends with her anyways.
Eight
She sounds awful but in an effort to reduce your losses would you be willing to throw in the difference between what the potential subletters would pay and what she thinks she should be paying? In this example they'd pay the 1375 you were to pay and you would throw in the difference between the 1/3 share she thinks she should pay and the 1200 she owes
It would suck to let her "win" here but may be the best compromise so you don't get stuck w the full 1375 and no subletter.
Update
Hi! I remembered my old post and figured I'd update since I love updates, especially juicy ones. Old post is here.
Re the moving out situation: I didn't bring on a subletter, and let her live alone for a month. My plan had been to move to the city and live happily ever after. I was planning on moving into a shared house via a startup called Campus. Literally the day before I was supposed to move, they shuttered their operations. SO, I moved in with my parents because I did NOT want to go back to living with Holly. This worked out well for me financially. After a couple of months I found a new place in the city and moved in there - all was great. Holly renewed her lease with an acquaintance from college who was moving to our area.
I mentioned that Holly had issues with professionalism - well, Holly ended up getting fired from her job. I reached out to another agency in her industry I knew well, in the same field, to set her up with an interview (ugh, why) and she ended up getting the role. After she got it, I went for coffee with her to talk about it, which was the first time I'd seen her since the move.
She told me she wasn't enjoying living with "Emma" because Emma would never invite her to things or be home as much as she originally said she would (shocker). In general, it sounded like Emma dealt with a lot of what I'd dealt with.
Then I brought up something funny, that I'd matched on Tinder with a guy who'd worked with Holly at the agency she'd been let go from. I had met him once at some company thing I'd gone to with her. She immediately asked me to message him and ask him what he thought of her. She told me she'd had the biggest crush on him the whoooole time she'd worked there and that he was The One for her. We left it at that, with her asking me to promise to message him. I said maybe.
Well, I did message him. And we went on a date. She texted me almost every day asking if I'd heard from him and when I finally responded and said we were going out, she became extremely upset. She asked me to make a choice between him or her. She said I was boyfriend stealing, and that I wasn't a good friend. I wanted to tell her I WASN'T HER FRIEND. So I took her up on her ultimatum, and I chose him over her.
2.5 years later that guy and I live together and have the most gorgeous dog and life. We have a great friend group, great jobs, and our families are so close we've all spent Christmas and Thanksgiving together too. He's so hot and cool. I'm 25 now and he's 29. Our dog is a 1 and a half Aussie!
I've never spoken to Holly again, but since my boyfriend is close to his old coworkers (don't worry, he wasn't fired) who keep up with Holly on social media, I've heard that she moved to L.A. and has cycled through FOUR more companies, each time getting fired. I don't know much else about her life since she blocked me on every single form of social media INCLUDING VENMO. I've never met a person who knew her that didn't think she was bats*it, so that's validation.
The End.
History is made on a daily basis.
Indeed, there is little more exciting than having witnessed the accomplishments of people like Barack Obama, Stacey Abrams, and Greta Thunberg knowing that they have firmly reserved a space for themselves in history books.
Of course, most of the people who paved the way to make the world what it is today have long since passed away.
Not all of them, though!
It may surprise you to learn that there are people who made an indelible impression on history who are still much alive today.
Some of whom even continue to make a difference to this very day
Redditor enginearz was eager to hear about historical figures people were surprised to learn were still alive, leading them to ask:
"What famous person from history is still alive?"
Forever Leaving His Name In Science
"Yuri Oganessian."
"He's the only currently living man with an element on the periodic table named after him."- snowflake247
Quite The Story To Tell
"Simeon Saxe-Coburg-Gotha."
"Last human to hold the title of Tsar, as leader of the Kingdom of Bulgaria."
"He was exiled along with his family when the Soviets invaded Bulgaria in 1944."
"In 1990, after the fall of the Soviet Union, Simeon returned from exile to Bulgaria and July 2001, was democratically elected prime minister."
"The private citizen is now 85."- DirectionNew5328
Making Nature Cool For Decades
"Jane Goodall."
"David Attenborough."- random_username_96
The Fought For Freedom And Justice
"John Hemingway."
"The last surviving airman of the battle of Britain."
"He is 103 years old."
"Ivan Martynushkin."
"He helped with the liberation of Auschwitz."
"He is 99 years old."
"Benjamin Ferencz."
"He was a prosecutor at the Nuremberg trials."
"He is 102 years old."- Ashtar-the-Squid
"Traute Lafrenz."
"The last living member of the german anti-nazi resistance group 'White Rose".
"Most well-known members were the sibling Sophie and Hans Scholl, who were executed by the Nazis when they were identified."- ChrisTinnef
The One Who Made One Giant Leap For Mankind
"Buzz Aldrin, and I’m not even American."- mukaltin
Opening Doors For So Many Others
"Ruby Bridges."
"She was one of the first black kids to go to an all-white school."
"There is a famous picture of that first day."- mumwifealcoholic
He Continues To Surprise Us
"Ozzy Osbourne."- CaptinDerpI
Admirably Defying So Many Odds
"Jimmy Carter."
"98 years old."- Back2Bach
We've Still Got Two Out Of Four
"Paul and Ringo"- HMKingHenryIX
Inching Close To The Big One Double Oh...
"Kissinger."- LucyVialli
Who Could Forget About Dick Van Dyke ?!?!?!?!
"Everyone just forgetting about Dick Van Dyke, he's like 97 and still going."
"If you've never heard of him, he played in Marry Poppins, along with a bunch more movies"- Longjumping_Drag2752
And Still Stunning
"Sophia Loren is still kicking."- The_REAL_McWeasel
Continuing To Go Where No Man Has Gone Before
"William Shatner doesn't look it but that dude is in his 90s wtf."- flubberF*ck
Perhaps what's most admirable, is that even when these astonishing people do eventually pass, they will continue to live on and change the world with the remarkable work they did.
We all indulge in fast food from time to time.
Even if we know what we're eating isn't exactly healthy, sometimes the salty, fatty mass-produced food is the only thing we want.
Resulting in our making weekly, if not daily, visits to a nearby chain.
Then, of course, there are the chains that we make every effort to avoid.
We've likely tried places at least once simply because everyone is always talking about them.
But after having one bite, we have trouble seeing exactly what all the fuss was about and vow to never return.
Even if it might be the only option at a rest stop or even the only available food for miles, we instead opt to wait and be hungry.
Redditor BungOnMimosas was curious to hear what people considered to be the most overhyped fast food chains around, leading them to ask:
"What do you think are the most overrated fast-food chains? Why?"
"Food As It Should Be"... Or Not...
"I know it's not technically 'fast food', but Panera Bread pisses me off."
"Insanely expensive for extremely average food." - Reddit
"Panera."
"Their quality has decreased so much in the past few years and they’ve added weird sh*t to their menu like pizza and chicken sandwiches."
"Massive identity crisis and crap food."- asm233
Things Ain't What They Used To Be...
"All of them, now that they charge real restaurant prices."- P00pf4rt5
Golden Arches
"As much as I hate to say it, McDonald's is the only place that I can think of that the quality hasn't changed much."
"I mean, that's a pretty low bar, but it is what it is."- gnatman66
"The majority of them, especially the really big ones (McDonald's, Wendy's, BK, Pizza Hut, etc)."
"The prices are no longer fast food prices and the quality is not there like it used to be."
"Far better local options that cost roughly the same at the end of the day."- senorita_diablo
Consistency Is Key...
"Dunkin."
"You can go to the same location three separate times, have the food made by the same staff, and receive 3 wildly different results."- AndrewLampart
Not So Popular Anywhere, It seems...
"KFC in France became so bad."- SterBout
Likely Won't Go National...
"Idk how wide spread they are, but in the Buffalo NY area there is a chain called Mighty Taco."
"They were even voted best tacos a few years ago."
"It is absolutely terrible food."
"I’ve tried to like it and given them 3 chances."
"Each time I couldn’t eat more than a couple bites."
"Absolutely terrible and I’m disgusted even thinking about their sour vomit in a tortilla."- aa-2020
"Eat Fresh"...
"I think I’ve answered this question before but definitely for me, it’s Subway."
"Nothing but a giant hunk of bread."
"I’m editing this to add that part of my anger about Subway is how good it used to be."
"I can remember the days of nearly a whole can of tuna salad delicious sub."
"And a Veggie sub with Swiss cheese and piles of yummy veggies and the sweet Vidalia onion sauce."
"It’s all gone to sh*t."
"I would’ve been perfectly OK with increasing price but the big drop in quality pissed me off."
"Oh woe is me with my first world problems."- Mysterious-Region640
Quantity Doesn't Guarantee Quality...
"Starbucks is a scam."- cmkeller62
Tasty, But Not Worth It...
"I’m going to say Five Guys."
"Not because the food isn’t good, but because I’m not paying $20 for a burger meal."- 2PacTookMyLunchMoney
"Dairy queen grill and Chill for sure."
"I worked at one for a lil' while and 1 burger combo is $14.56 CAD."- lolidk13
And Not In A Good Way...
Big Kahuna Burger, it kills you."-Darklock2022
No two people have the same taste in food.
Some people know to avoid crappy food, while others eat literally nothing else.
People Break Down Which Movies They Wish They Could Watch Again For The First Time
There are several movies I've watched so many times I think the viewings outnumber the days I've lived.
And much like a favorite tv series or movie, who wouldn't love to start again anew?
Experiencing that first time but with that feeling of... "I'm gonna love this forever."
We never appreciate the first time enough.
But that's life.
Warning: there are spoilers below.
Redditor Jacale1 wanted to discuss all the movies we wish we could experience new all over again, so they asked:
"What is one movie that you wish you could watch again for the first time?"
There are a lot of mystery movies I'd love to redo, just to figure out the killer sooner.
Gasps!
"The Shawshank Redemption."
MisOlga26
"A great nominee. Will never forget gasping when that rock went through the poster, and again when the warden pushed his arm through and ripped it down.... wow."
GalavantingRhino
Over and Over
"Edge of Tomorrow."
jeanrbel
"Is it bad that I got enjoyment knowing Tom Cruise died a lot in that movie. Never on screen, but it happened. Over and over. I hate that guy. How the hell was he the same height as Nichole Kidman in the movies they acted in together. Rhetorical question."
monrovista
"Honestly the whole reason I watched the movie to begin with is that he kept dying over and over."
AutomaticMethod2437
Swooned Away
“'Stardust'- if you don’t know you’ll never know."
jthekoker
"I’m surprised that a fantasy romcom can be so enjoyable, for a straight guy. It’s just the right balance between fantasy, comedy, drama, and romance. Most of the female cast are very easy on the eyes too."
"I swooned when Yvaine glows while dancing on the ship, and when she talks emphatically to the mouse in the caravan. This movie has a lot of A listers, and they deliver. I’m not gonna lie, I have probably watched it half a dozen times."
Redcarborundum
"The book has so much more in it, even having seen the movie you'll feel like a child again."
Beowulf33232
Hail Sigourney
"Alien."
NearDeafExperience
"I watched this with my wife, who has never seen it, and that's about as close as you can get to watching it for the first time. It really displayed just how good the movie is. Also I love Aliens just as much for different reasons."
QueafyGreens
"Came here looking for this! I watched it for the first time with my dad when I was 11, and it’s one of my favorite childhood memories. Amazing movie."
_shes_a_jar
Hey Arnold
"Terminator 2."
lobotomek
"I first watched this as a kid when I knew Arnold was the good guy in movies, and I had not seen T1. I wish I watched T2 for the first time after having watched T1. The mall scene would have been even more mind blowing."
Volvulus
T2 was definitely bada**!! I'd redo that.
Brilliant
"The Departed."
Lineworker2448
"Bro, I'll go further. If I could watch the Nicholson covered in blood scene or the final scene between Damon and Wahlberg, I would be so freaking happy. The sheer acting clout on display for the first is near a masterclass while the last scene was just so business like, I'd love to relive that scene with fresh eyes. I love this freaking movie."
DaBearsMan_72
Originality
"The original Star Wars. Man, that blew our minds! It totally changed movies from then on. We'd never seen such incredible special effects. The story was so fun and the experience was amazing."
Raggmommy
"Even though I’m not a franchise fan, I can get behind this answer. Because when I saw it first run, I was fourteen, and nothing like it had ever been done. I think it was the first movie where the special effects were the movie? Now that’s standard. It’s a reason people see many films now."
"So, for sheer originality, I’d watch it again, but only for the first time. I barely recall the second movie."
Alexbmac
SURPRISE!!
"The 6th Sense. I audibly gasped in the theater. All the clues are obvious on rewatch but that first time, before anyone knew M. Knight Shyamalan was a twist guy... wow."
GalavantingRhino
"I never got to see it the first time. My girlfriend at the time (now wife) inadvertently let slip the ending thinking I had already seen it. I have never seen the point in watching it knowing the ending. But I did enjoy The Village."
failurebeatssuccess
"I watched it again and it was more of a sad film than a thriller."
anotherbarry
Just Beautiful!
"Spirited Away. I was blown away by how beautiful and bonkers it is."
Lizziebunnypie
"Saaaaame! Every single Studio Ghibli film, but Spirited Away especially! I’ve still watched it a million times though, and it’s always special. If I’m in a bad mood that film always cheers me up!"
"Also, Avatar-the last air bender. I know it’s not a movie, but I felt like it deserved a mention. I’ve watched the whole thing several times, and it’s always great, but I do wish I could forget it and rewatch it. I’m 35 btw... lol."
Mimi_315
Great Scott!
"Back to the Future."
dwkindig
"I'd love to watch that in the cinemas... Now from the future."
billieboop
Now I want to go to the movies.
There is no one way to anybody's heart or libido.
Sexy doesn't always have to equal raunchy.
I've known people turned on by music, books, nature, and even funerals (don't ask).
What starts someone's engine is a mystery.
Redditor asexyjohn18 wanted to hear about all the things that get people in the mood, so they asked:
"What is a non sexual trait that turns you on?"
I love a walk. A little strut. Nothing like getting the heart racing.
Tingles
"Getting my head scratched or having someone run their fingers through my hair."
SensitiveDolphin55
"Same. It’s so pleasant when the tingles run down your spine... ;-) "
PumpkinSpiceMaster
LOLOL
"When a girl genuinely laughs at jokes I make."
Realistic_Practice16
"I remember being on a first date with a beautiful woman and I made a bit of corny joke/comment and she laughed at it. I remember thinking, damn, wait till I get to my good stuff. I did get to my good material apparently as we were married. She gives me as many laughs as I give her."
CarlJustCarl
Do Right
"Kindness. When I see someone going out of their way to help others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do… that is some truly attractive vibes."
Electrical-Bid-9577
"Apparently it's vanishing from this world really fast. People who show kindness often end up in losses (of course not everytime but most of the time yes). It really breaks my heart."
Walker1798
"Probably the sexiest thing out there. Someone can be smoking hot, funny, talented, etc. But if they're not kind, they're unattractive."
sravll
Oh Yes...
"Smiling right at me, and men stretching. LAWD HAVE MERCY!!"
Skwiddling
"I have trouble smiling at women. Is this a turnoff for them? And ones I like are really hard to smile at. Because I know it's always going to be some really weird big smile if I am crushing which makes me feel like a super duper creep."
Maximum_Knee_4622
Simplicity
"Sorry if this is too kinky but i like it when they care about me."
SirReal10000
"Too far man. You need to rethink your choices."
Funkeysismychildhood
Sometimes it's all about the heart.
Eye 2 Eye
"When a guy explains something to you in a calm and understanding voice. Bonus points for gentle eye contact."
Belphiespillow666
GENIUS!!
"Being crazily intelligent. Screw dirty talk, I want you to explain some unexplainable s**t in my ear."
-F**KINGUSERNAME
"Heck yes. My best connections have been with a philosophy/history professor turned chancellor, an environmental engineer, and a neurosurgeon, all 3 Summa cum laude grads and conference speakers in their fields. The downside to genius though is complete absorption in their fields leaving little time for in person connection."
__trezora__
Yummies
"Everyone should know how to cook. Hunger knows no gender. I like to eat good food so I learned how to cook. I asked my mom one day and she reacted surprised. She was more than grateful to have an opportunity to teach me the ‘finer’ aspects of cooking, as she called it. Lol. I love food."
"My girlfriend, now wife, likes to jokingly say I got her into bed with a well seasoned steak and homemade fries. I mean we did sleep together almost immediately after we finished dinner so maybe she’s right. That old saying comes to mind. 'The quickest way to the heart is though the stomach.'"
SaiyanGodKing
Getting Green
"When I ask my husband for help when I repot my plants and he delicately cleans and moves the leaves. He is a mechanical engineer and he works with huge pieces of industrial equipment, seeing him so tenderly caring for my plants just makes me melt."
BoysenberryNo3877
Limbs A Lot
"Men doing intricate work with their hands."
GooglePixel69
"I second this, also someone who can play guitar/bass real real well... just watching their hands, whoa mama."
squeaky-mcgee
Well, it seems that just about anything can get someone in the mood, especially if you're kind, courteous, and especially a good cook.
Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below!